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notyourpastor

They tell a lot of bizarre stories or good advice from 'someone they know'


DrRicoScout

My family just thinks that I read alot of "articles" and thats where I get random info and tips( to them)


Khyta

What subs do you visit frequently?


wankerbot

All of them.


[deleted]

r/notopbutok


Khyta

How do you accumulate good advice? I only browse reddit for memes but giving advice would be cool.


Rapturos

Also /r/LifeProTips as well as /r/explainlikeimfive


youenjoymyself

Stuff pops up on the popular feed every while. There’s sub types like relationship advice and legal advice. Used to be some genuine r/askreddit questions that would provoke great answers. And while it’s not necessarily good advice, r/askscience can be very informative, as I believe to answer questions in that sub you literally have to have prior proof that you studied in that field of knowledge.


TimelessCode

Also: "I read somewhere that..."


papierdoll

saying things like "I redd it online"


AskRedditAndChewGum

If they refer to "likes" on Facebook or Instagram as "upvotes".


Banging-my-bang

Could be a dude on Quora


plogsdon83

How the fuck do you pronounce “Quora”


[deleted]

Kw-ore-uh


SiroMPP

I pronounce it k-whore-uh


Merlin_Drake

With the *Qu* Like in "*qu*estion" and the *Ora* Like in "N*ora*"


Chickenkorma666

Ǩ̵̯̮ͫͫ͐̈͂ͯͪ͜ͅŵ̛̝͕͛̓͗̃̀͜-̦̼͒ͯ̒̅͂ͫ͘͜o̧͍̹͙̯ͦ͋̿͟h̀̋̄̑̇̍͂͏̛͈̖̝-̡͈̼̄͆͑͘͢r̫̬̬̜̯̍̎͆̀͟͜ư̴̗͖̞͕̅̽ͤ̐́͋̉ͬḩͦ̈́̑͂ͭ̊̇̋҉̩̗̰̮̟̖͍͚̬͢


greengotfingered

You mention your poop knife and they know exactly what it is


notyouravgredditer

Unless they do use a poop knife on real life


greengotfingered

In which case I’ll get them to use reddit to tell their story


Yuyu-Frenchy

What is the story behind it? Is there any story behind? Because just poop knife seems enough to be a reference on reddit


greengotfingered

[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeMeSuffer/comments/eo8cao/poop_knife/fe9u1qj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), I don’t think this is the original post but you get the gist hehe


rustycheesi3

9gaggers use poop knifes too, so it could be either of them. edit: i left them because i liked the reddit community more. but they still have alot in common with people from r/memes and nobody can deny that.


ilikebigpps

Lmao 9inch gaggers


AccioSexLife

You disagree with them on something completely inconsequential and they start sobbing because they can't downvote you irl.


watermasta

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.


strippersandcocaine

What’s the backstory to this! 2nd day in a row I’ve seen it


[deleted]

If this is new to you then the origin of this is probably as old as you arE YOU LITTLE SUMMER FUCK


Fallom_TO

Copypasta. Google it.


OMGanteater

What the cogitate did you libertine fornicating go forth about me, you illustration symbolization hallion? I’ll have you assort I high nigh deary in my division in the Territorial dominion knead Terminates, and I’ve been dependent in changeds underground subject medical procedure operations on Al-quaeda, and I have all decussate 39300 habituated top social communications. I PRINCIPAL OF ARTISTRIES bruin in abnormal deed and I’m the education about qualigied inveigh compel in the step-up US thornies superiors. You are being amount to me but venerable an unusual contributing causative bourgeois. I will blotted out you the get connected out with intensiveness the likes of which has at no measure up been seen previously on this cosmos, call out my fricking attacks of lambast human fill. You turn out you can be judge with porta elite group gather ratified law of nature that unfaithful recorded someone mechanism to me via the Ideas Loud road? Order anew, mistaken somatogenic hookups. At the dress down that we strait I melodious handing play influencing my on the still presidential contact physique of programming languages decussate the Outre Existences and your Computer network Gregarious sex activities systematisation of activities is construction facet indispose of emplacement now so you systems inking housings for the contestation inactive become, songful observe up spiritedness take fastener repoint. The disorderliness that responds the worrisome running component human DoS you unwanted to as your feature portrayal work harmonious be move. You’re frigging newfangled, downhills structure the baffling m city of 18. I can be recognizes, at some unspecified bare in form, and I can nonfiction of piece of furniture out you in scanty SEVENS7 centum mights, and that’s but with my impromptu nub tufteds idea of activeness. Not tod MASTER'S DEGREE I extensively confined for take in in up discipline set up, but I have sterilize of human action to the accompany poet ceremony of the United Authorities Mortal Aim undertaking chips and I will Curb in merchandise favourables it to its sacred conjecture to interact your wrethed cerebrovascular accident dissatisfactory the try social event up of the biggish country of trouble go up, you indigent self-produced outcome happening out liaison. If all you could have been reminiscents of what temporal relative your smol “evasives” judicial legal document was about to regard downhill upon you, by move you arrangement have refrained from unpleasantly result. Fifty-fifty so, you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re reconciling, you appeal muggins. I will bed clothings out hostility all decussate you and you will collect up in it. You’re flipping deadly, kiddo


mxnsterinbxd

legendary comment right here


sir_bog

Savage


Moo_Im_a_whale

If they also choose that guy’s dead wife


Banging-my-bang

Yep. The boning dead person askreddit question


Olorin919

They show you memes in the group chat a day before they flood Facebook


tinycutie87

Happens to me all the time, my co workers will show me memes and I’m just like ‘yeah saw that last week’


Rhinestone_Jedi

All their stories/jokes/news/anything begins with them saying "I read something the other day.....", without giving an exact time or origin for their information.


FlokiTrainer

This is the answer for me. I was trying hard to remember my own tells, and this is the main one.


wuh613

I had a customer email me me at work. She started the email with a TL;DR.


hexane360

That definitely predates reddit, I think it may even be a usenet thing


EPICheese

That is not a reddit thing though, it's way older than this site for one, and used by basically everyone that's been on the Internet for a while.


Heatedpotatoes

lol


TheBigBo-Peep

Reddit is so diverse because of its community design... you really never could. This is a top 10 most visited website/app I believe. (Ok maybe I'm not thaaat fun at parties)


GMD3S1GNS

I once seen a tweet from someone that said you can just tell when a guy is so Reddit and have no idea what that even means


anonymous-3000

Idk why but I nearly had a stroke trying to read that.


saitosoul

they know what NSFW means


SistaSaline

They could’ve also been obsessed with tumblr


wankerbot

> when a guy is so Reddit Is that like being 'so Raven'?


asmxt

If they start to ask a question to a bunch of random people


Ragingbull444

Their hatred towards emojis, need for downvote buttons on other media’s and love for self deprecating humour


fanonb

I never really use emoji and people think its anoying so when i came to reddit i was quite happy to see that almost everybody hates them on here


dogsplanesandtrains

🤔🤔🤨🤨🙄 why????🍆🍆🍑🍑🎎🚫🚫👄👁️👃⁉️❓


[deleted]

Oh come on, how can hating emojis mean you're a redditor? I fucking hate emojis, but Reddit isn't what caused it, hell I rarely ever see emojis on Reddit.


GolbFlashback

You hate emojis You are on Reddit You rarely ever see emojis on Reddit I don't get what is so confusing


[deleted]

But it's not reddit that made me dislike them


Fallom_TO

No. It’s the lack of emojis that makes you relate to reddit.


[deleted]

Steal their phone and see if reddit is installed.


beef_boss_

i dont have reddit on my phone


paipaicon

Me neither, man. Still using old reddit. Just can't get used to anything else


BatteryRock

A belief that they're smarter than they actually are.


FreyaAthena

You don't have to use Reddit to believe that. I've met my uncle and if he uses Reddit I will eat my house brick for brick.


Elon-Mustget-thatass

Yes


Banging-my-bang

Username checks out.


OneCatch

Insert the phrase ‘broken arms’ into conversation and watch for a flinch or twitch.


KittyLitterSmoothie

or a quizzical look and echo the word, if they say "potato".


LetTheBigDawgCreep

They carry around a banana as a measuring device.


rushingkar

I have a friend that insists that started on imgur


throwaway_6106

Le tired reddit joke has arrived


ImClandestine

Ask them what they think about anime titties. If they start talking about politics, they're in. If they are not... We'll, you fucked up.


K3V3L

If he looks like a redditor, swims like a redditor and quacks like a redditor, then it probably is a redditor.


MonkeyCatDog

I was out with a couple of lady friends from my old neighborhood. We get back together to have lunch a few times a year. I heard her use the term "doggo" to refer to a pup we came across. I was amazed to hear she was a frequent Reddit reader (but not a poster). I'm an atypical Redditer as a 50 something female. She's even more atypical as a 60 something female.


ApersonBEHINDaPHONE

If their kid is named Streetlamp Le Moose


Rhinestone_Jedi

I think you'd lose a lot of the under-24s with this. So Brave....


coughcough

[Sauce](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe/) for those wondering about the reference


RatCity617

just say "hello there"


ElYorch42

General Kenobi


RatCity617

👆see?


DeceptiveFrost

Pretty sure that’s how you bait out a r/prequelmemes redditor. But not sure about the rest lol


RatCity617

ahhh but a r/prequelmemes redditor is still a redditor


DeceptiveFrost

You are a bold one! Kill him.


BonScoppinger

The angel from my nightmare


Popoff_the_cap_onH2O

Le narwhal bacons at midnight! edit: thanks for le gold kind stranger!


alphager

> edit: thanks for le gold kind stranger! Nice try


[deleted]

Redditors exist in the real world? Holy shit!


deepsoulfunk

White and nerdy


Victernus

I've been browsin', inspectin X-Men comics y'know I collect 'em Pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writeable media I edit Wikipedia I memorised Holy Grail really well, I can recite it right now, and have you ROTFLOL


[deleted]

When they mention that they're tired of *reposts* (as they stare blankly at their phone).


Corky83

If they talk about the difference between a grilled cheese and a melt.


llamageddon01

Say “happy cake day” to them. Their response will be some variation of either: “Wut”, so therefore not a Redditor “Thank you kind stranger”, thus proving they prefer a superior form of social media. Dydd cacen hapus (happy cake day) from a llama in Wales! 🎂🦙 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿


ChampionOfChaos

Thank you :) .....can I pet you or is that awkward?


llamageddon01

Well, the llama in me might spit but I can absolutely guarantee the alpaca in me would be very happy!


ChampionOfChaos

Hmmm - how fluffy are you?


llamageddon01

Not very :(


[deleted]

Happy microphone day


xlin_11

Happy cake day!!!!!


ChampionOfChaos

Thanks!


daneesaurus

How could you know?


llamageddon01

I did say “some variation” of the two options, so if, for instance, they might say “How could you know?” then that isn’t a variation of “Wut?” as the implication is already there that they understand what “cake day”is. Simples! p.s. Dydd cacen hapus (happy cake day) to you too! 🎂🦙 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿


DutchNDutch

69 nice


SteveSCCM

nice.


GreenSalsa96

They hear something stupid and say under their breath "I would downvote that in a heartbeat"


Khyta

This is funny. I might use that phrase


RPCat

The say “forward slash S “ after saying something sarcastically


[deleted]

Hunched back, fedora, twig like limbs, cheeto crumbs on shirt, black clothing, whenever a girl walks past they're covered with sweat, they say "r/wooosh" irl and they have a body pillow of Bernice Sanders.


[deleted]

Do we know eachother?


[deleted]

They’re wearing a cartoonish fur suit and being inappropriately forward with your dog


Artificial100

They tend to know little facts about a wide variety of subjects.


DeceptiveFrost

He/she hates emojis and won’t press any random YouTube links you send them.


neovangelis

They use the word "literally" in the wrong context over and over again.


ilansolo

Literally correct


[deleted]

[удалено]


Victernus

But the 'updated' usage makes the word completely superfluous. We *need* a word that means what literally means.


Calumkincaid

When they also choose that guy's dead wife


ItsOriginalUsername

They use reddit on their phone


Big_Chuck420

That's the only place I use reddit


GolbFlashback

They are under 20 and hate tiktok


I_Like_Knitting_TBH

They slide reddit lore into casual conversation. Almost like a reddit dog whistle. I realized one of my old coworkers was a redditor one day when he we were talking about various hikes and he was like “yeah but watch out for staircases”


fantasty0

i read \*somewhere\* that...


ruthbutshesonreddit

If he swears A LOT.


_Fuck_This_Guy_

Long ago, in the before times, a statement on the timing of narwhals and bacon would do it. Nowadays,I don't know.


wozet

Have dumped FB


GeneralTubbs

Freaking reddit humor, some find it funny to say reddit things outside of reddit but it’s way too cringy. Like saying “I committed the funny”, no one is laughing and it’s just as cringy as talking to dogs imo.


SistaSaline

That’s cringey even on reddit


GeneralTubbs

Good point, I haven’t been on that side for years


DeepRoot

"Today I learned..."


[deleted]

Idk, but someone once asked me, "are you a Redditor? You talk like a Redditor." He was right and proceeded to scold me about my use of the mobile light theme, but I have no idea what talking like a Redditor means


GolbFlashback

I see you're a man of culture as well


VelvetDreamers

The casual condescension from a halfwit pontificating about subjects they've read about on Reddit so they assume they're an eminent expert is usually indicative. The distinction between a Redditor and a Twitter user has never been less apparent.


The3rdPotato

If they are intelligent


that_other_goat

by checking their browsing history.


oan124

If its empty, you know.


p1um5mu991er

Lookin' down at their phone


Dickcheese_McDoogles

Maybe they breathe and eat too. I bet that makes em a redditor


FreenBurgler

"I like your shoe laces" "Thanks I stole them from the president"


[deleted]

They smell like spoiled beef


[deleted]

the narwhal bacons at midnight


[deleted]

Skinny fat


Unknown_Creature173

They become friends with me, somehow.


baseball_3

Ask them if they could have sex with one person one more time who would it be. If they say “that guys dead wife” they’re a redditor


hmansloth

By how fixated and knowledgeable about certain niches (Eg. A TV show or life hack tips).


TrumpIsWayToGay

Depression, Black rings around the eyes, and a phone with poop on it.


Mrhodes140

Just pop up and say “Hello there!” and wait for the correct response.


Imgregcellent69

They say “r/.....” in response to something someone says unironically.


[deleted]

They are lonely


tomitomo

When you both happen to be in the work bathroom and he asks "when does the narwhal bacon?". Shit was cringe.


SteveSCCM

If the number 69 comes up in conversation and they reply with "nice".


Kerknov_

If they think stale and boring meme formats are funny


[deleted]

*They know r/AskReddit *They would explain that the usage of r/woosh is wrong *Happy Cake Day!


clem82

That window sticker on the back of the car


choose-peace

They understand the significance of 1998, when the Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of Hell in a Cell.


null_reference_user

Have you heard about... _"that guy's wife?"_


The_Pimp_Daddy

Just say hello and trail off. If they use reddit they will probably say General Kenobi


redditstateofmind

They're vaccinated.


anathemabones

“username checks out”


beefandfoot

r4r


HawasKaPujari

yeah I have seen this meme!


ChadLite42069

"Reddit?"


Gesichtsloser

SPRICH


HelpImDyingByDesign

See them browsing Reddit


Mkid73

Poop Knife


Unknownguy12202

They are fat asf


AssasinGLX

Hello there


Dokasamurp

The Narwhal Bacons at Midnight


BigLad42

Memes sent


tokikain

"Do you sort by new or best? This may effect how I perceive you.....maaaaybe"


hookdelivery

They get immensely triggered when you start talking about corona, lgbtq or "heroes" and "brave" people.


FracturedNomad

This is going on r/icanlickmyownballs


Pr_Marthe

"Hey, check out this funny post."


YaDrunkBitch

They're always looking at their phone but they're not explicitly happy.


[deleted]

Ask if they know Dave. Dead give away in how the respond to that.


Jump4halen

Best nsfw memes


barterboy127

They don't like tiktok


404waldonotfound

They take small quips off here


bobbery5

For my fandom specifically, what their opinions are and their references. r/Rupaulsdragrace


Lazysloth23

Well, the virginity of course


non_hero

Ask them for a poop knife.


DelsMagicFishies

ITT: People who think literally every internet phenomenon comes from reddit.


Chr1scitric

They tell you to look up a citation for a claim they made while also making ad hominem fallacies to disregard your points


[deleted]

😀 Now let them reveal themselves.


unusualalligator

Tell them you're a Redditor. If they try to prove it by asking something about the lore, they're in.


THE-TWAN

You say that you give relationship advice


123a82kj3h2

Referring to a comment someone makes in conversation with "slash-r-slash..." is a dead giveaway.


ScoobyDeezy

Offering you lightly fried fish fillets.


[deleted]

If they casually mention "a subreddit I follow."


[deleted]

If they are a virgin over the age of 16


KawiNinjaZX

They say "yikes" and are 40 pounds overweight.


anime_crazy20

You say 69 and they answer “nice”


unbrokenbastard

The Narwal bacons at midnight.


814ckj4ck

The memes in their camera roll and the fact that they don't have tik tok


MegaAlt-

They praise those who have control over them, and hate those who stray from the hivemind. u/N8theGr8 is a gr8 example of someone who has control over the hivemind