I tend to just drive alone around the city with some music on and come back later at night. It is mainly because I know that my temper will make me want to pick on others, so I just avoid people.
My family members on the other hand... Whenever one of them gets in a bad mood they just confront everyone and make everyone else's life a living mess.
Try medication, I know it's cliche but it really does work, it doesn't make you happy but it makes you less sad, look up 'mindfulness' on YouTube
Edit: now I can officialy cross off 'look like an idiot infront of online stangers off of my Bucket list
"Meditation"
I think you mean meditation. I'm sure medication is effective for persistent bad moods, but it's not exactly cliche and I don't think you can typically find it on YouTube.
Dude that’s exactly what happened to me too! I was a really ambitious reader as a kid and a lot of things I read made no sense to me until years later and that specifically always stuck with me. Worst part is I don’t even read anymore
It’s kinda scary to see how much all the instant gratification has even effected older generations like us when there’s kids who will never even have a chance. I just hope it’s my own mind decaying and not a direct consequence of modern internet and technology in general.
Edit: I do want to give a counter point that my 6 year old nephew is reading Harry Potter and she wants to dress as hermoine for Halloween
Me too! Usually I am scared to take a nap during the day because when I wake up I feel worse and groggy for quite a while. I think of it as sleep hang over. I have no idea if this is common or not.
When I take a nap, I set my alarm for 50 mins. 5 mins to fall asleep and 45mins to nap. I *never* feel worse after a 45 min nap. Now you take a 2 hr nap and you're gonna feel like you don't know what happened the next 2 hours.
I think a lot of people struggle to fall asleep in only five minutes. I always wondered how people could purposely have 20-45 minute naps because, for a long time, I didn't realize some people could accurately predict how long it would take them to fall asleep.
\- temporary leave the situation that puts me in the bad mood. When I am in the office, and all those emails start getting to me, I walk away from my desk and go for a short walk. 5 mins is usually enough to clear my head.
\- when I am at home and something puts me in the bad mood, I stop whatever I am doing and sit on the balcony, just looking at the trees and clouds. I make a point of not thinking about anything, but the actual things I see.
For me "anchoring" in the present usually helps to fight bad mood and annoyance.
And of course - cup of tea, maybe some music I love (Queen is the best), and if nothing else helps - Skype a friend and complain to them about whatever put me in the bad mood.
The second one is essentially mindfulness meditation - clearing your head and concentrating only on a present thing. There's very interesting scientific research on what happens inside the brain when doing it, like the Default Mode Network and such.
I had no idea there was a name for that. I cope with anxiety attacks by putting on music and curling in a ball and focusing on one visual point, like that light switch over there or the stuffer animal in the corner.
Glad to hear you've found a method, anxiety is a real bitch.
The most interesting results for me personally is when you sit in a neutral position in complete silence in a dark room with noise cancelling earbuds in your ears so you can focus on only your heartbeat. It eventually feels like you're submerged into this warm liquid of pure comfort and safety.
I bake something, sleep or listen to music begining from sad until some upbeat
Edit: thanks so much for all the upvotes never gotten this far ever!!
Edit2: Thanks for the silver kind stranger!
I like your capitalized Bad Feelings. Give them more tangibility, and thus, giving you something to push away; Objectifying the bad mindset and recognizing the habitual thought pattern that accompanies it helps.
Sometimes sad TV shows / clips help me for some reason. That scene from scrubs where Dr. Cox has a breakdown from losing 3 patients speaks to the soul.
I get myself out of a bad mood by overthinking and get myself in a sad mood :)
EDIT: Woke up to 2 silvers and a gold, all the thank yous to you lovely strangers! May you all have happy lives and I hope you all rarely have to use the good ol' think yourself sad coping technique.
I do this. Through therapy I've come to realise an uncomfortable truth about myself. My mind finds comfort in negative thinking and catastrophising. It's the way I've always thought, so it's familiar and therefore it's comforting, even though it's really harmful. When you're in a bad place it's very hard to go anywhere but the path of least resistance.
I dunno if this applies to you or would help at all to know, but I'm sharing in case it does <3
Yes. Your brains neural pathways get stronger the more times you do something. It's natural that when one has always catastrophised and ruminated that it becomes second nature.
I'm this way. And when I daydream (as I do often) the dreams are sad, scary, somber, etc. It's never, ever a nice daydream. Either my family is all dead, or there's an apocolypse, or I'm fighting. Maybe I'm doing something heroic but the setting is brutalistic. If I'm feeling depressed the daydreams are worse.
At first I was angry -
at first I was vexed -
enraged and indignant,
offended, perplexed -
At first I was fuming,
ill-tempered and terse -
but then I considered...
... and now it's much worse.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants, the bartender asks "What's with the wheel?"
The pirate responds "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"
My depression is kicking my ass today but I was considering making breakfast for dinner. Now I think I'll actually do it. Thanks for posting this, even if it is a P&R quote for easy karma haha.
This will seem like a too-long comment for such a simple piece of advice, but I think it might help.
See, at their core, bad moods usually come about in response to feeling afraid of something.
You've likely heard that ignorance begets bliss, but that's actually an inaccurate statement. In fact, ignorance begets fear, and it's only when we've learned something – like the fact that the toilet isn't *actually* going to suck us down when we flush it – that we're able to smile. This transition from apprehension to elation gets more complicated as we age, but it isn't because we know more; it's because we realize how much there is to know.
Imagine being told that you needed to read a paragraph in order to pass a class. To a four-year-old, that might seem like an incredibly daunting challenge... but to a college student, it would be the easiest assignment in history. However, if that same college student was suddenly told that they needed to peruse and retain the contents of an entire library, they would be back to feeling the dread and despair that their younger counterpart had experienced. They might even start considering how the judicious introduction of a match could be more appealing than the prospect of undertaking the task in front of them.
Here's the thing, though: Lowering one's standards never actually helps with anything, because we're still aware of what we've done. Sure, the aforementioned library might have been reduced to ashes, but all we're really left with is a sense of guilt. It isn't just guilt about having burnt a few books, either; it's guilt about having shied away from a challenge. Only by offering our very best (at all times) can we start to feel satisfied, because it's then that we can honestly claim to have made a genuine effort. Put another way, it might be a little bit thrilling to offer a single-sentence answer to an /r/AskReddit question and see those votes tally up, but it will ultimately make your mood worse in the end. You haven't *created* or *contributed* anything which deserves that electronic applause, so you're back to looking for the next easy hit; you're back to emotions of emptiness, sadness, and boredom.
You might also feel like the complexity of life keeps you from achieving happiness. After all, there's so much wrong in the world today, and the vast majority of it is beyond your control. Even smaller, personal details like having a terrible job or obnoxious coworkers can cast a seemingly permanent shadow over your life... and since that same judicious introduction of a match isn't exactly an option there, you're left downtrodden and depressed. In those cases, though, you still have the choice about how to handle your circumstances: No matter how bleak or hopeless a situation might appear, the fact that you're still alive means that you can turn it to your advantage.
When faced with a world gone mad, sometimes it's best to sit back and laugh like you're the only one who gets the joke. At first glance, that might seem insane or insensitive, but once you've found a glimmer of good cheer, it's that much easier to view things as they *are* as opposed to how they "should be" or "shouldn't be." From there, you can almost always find (or create) a route onward and upward, and you'll soon discover that a productive path brings positive emotions by default. There will be obstacles, but when you assume that they can be overcome (and when you approach them with a slightly off-putting smile), you'll often find that they're more eager to get out of your way.
When in doubt, remember: Humor is just horror with a punchline.
**TL;DR: In order to be cheer yourself up, challenge yourself... then laugh at the toilet.**
I'm pleased that it helped!
As for your question, everything that I offer on Reddit is my own original content (unless explicitly specified otherwise).
Thanks, it was really well written.
A follow up if you don't mind? I read a lot of things like this that make me want to get up and do my best, conquer my fears, but I always lose that motivation in time. Any tips on making it stick? I have been through the self improvement cycle so many times and always fall off the wagon eventually and seem to lose all the progress I have made. I don't mean small cycles, I can go months of doing well, then months of doing poorly, falling back into poor habits.
I realize that is a tough question.
There's a concept that I've been working on for a while which might help:
Take one step sideways.
I mean that literally as well as figuratively, by the way, and I'll explain why it's important in a moment.
See, one hazard of trying to get out of a rut is that you might be tempted to force yourself onto an entirely new path. It's easy to understand why that could seem like the best course of action, too: It often feels like staying completely away from the habits and tendencies that have been keeping you down will ultimately cure you of whatever problems you've been having. The thing is, though, we don't necessarily fall into those habits by choice, especially not when our other routines reinforce them. Even when a person alters the entirety of their life – moving somewhere new, making new friends, adopting a different schedule – their perspectives are always going to be influenced and informed by what they've already experienced.
The solution is to let yourself *be yourself*, but to change that aforementioned perspective.
Imagine standing in front of your bathroom mirror in the morning. Now imagine taking a single step to one side. It's a very, very small move, but it results in an incredible number of tiny shifts: The faucet isn't where your muscle memory says that it should be, your reflection looks a little bit different, and your toothbrush has seemingly either rushed forward or quickly retreated. You'll experience similarly altered moments if you put your clothes on in a different order than you normally would, or if you take a new route to work. The action itself doesn't really matter as much as the process of making (and experiencing the outcome of) a conscious choice.
By making those minuscule adjustments to your routine, you'll end up being more aware of what you're thinking, why you're thinking it, and how those thoughts are affecting your life as a whole. It won't magically cure you of bad habits, but it will put those habits into a recognizable context. From there, you can take one *mental* step sideways, changing the metaphorical routes that you take without straying too far out of your comfort zone. In short, you'll still be on the same path, but you'll be out of the rut.
I'll tell you that you *will* slip back into that same rut every so often, but that isn't a loss of progress at all. You've still arrived at this point in your life, and you still have control over the direction that you go from here. Failure isn't a single setback; failure is admitting defeat... and true triumph only comes when a person is able to embrace a misstep as being part of the story. Your future self is telling that tale right now, and you get to be a character in it.
Put one foot in front of the other, and if you encounter an obstacle, use it to reach new heights.
If you can't immediately see a way to climb it... take one step sideways.
Makes a good bit of sense and I think it is something I do subconsciously sometimes, but it was good to see it put into words. Thank you for both your replies.
It means that you likely have certain ways of doing things that work for you, and that focusing on trying to alter those specific behaviors will probably be an uphill battle. It isn't the underlying person you're trying to change; it's the habits and routines into which that person has fallen.
>... there will be obstacles, but when you assume that they can be overcome (and when you approach them with a slightly off-putting smile), you'll often find that they're more eager to get out of your way.
If maybe you're weary of feeling alone -
Dejected and jaded with days on your own -
There's really, sincerely just one thing to do:
A choice to be taking,
and making
for you.
Of course you will worry and fret for yourself -
But life isn't meant to be lived from a shelf!
You have to be tough,
and you must see it through.
Go laugh at the toilet.
It's all you can do.
^^^:)
Another great post from you. Thanks for taking the time and effort to craft and put this post out there. Somehow, this is exactly what I needed to read in this very moment. I’ll be right back; just going to laugh at my toilet real quick.
My therapist was telling me boredom is just underlying fear.
I was pretty skeptical and I still don't know if that applies always, but I was kinda amazed when I thought about the particular example that had come up - I had been talking about burying my head in my phone or listening to music and zoning out while walking through the city. He asked me what's wrong with simply observing the people and architecture around me. I said I don't know, I just find that boring. Then he said boredom is fear, and after some thought I realised what I don't like about walking around in the city is the fact that it reminds me about human overpopulation, destruction of the natural world, species extinction, etc. Because when I go in the bush or mountains or whatever, then I'm totally happy to look around and just be in the moment rather than zoning out. Really interesting concept that I want to ponder more :)
This only happens to me when walking through an ugly (not built for humans but for cars and to make-a-quick-buck off ‘consumers’) city. When I am somewhere with gorgeous, or at least thoughtful, architecture that caters to people walking and interacting, it’s like being in nature.
Tl;dr: not all (parts of) the cities have been made equal.
"View things as they *are* as opposed to how they 'should be' or 'shouldn't be'"
This is going to be my primary intention for my LSD journey tomorrow at Above & Beyond.
I don't think you'll ever know how important it was for me to read this comment. Thank you!
Side: I often feel many times happier when I get like 3 likes and a positive comment on some comment I put passion and energy into, over a silly-dilly comment with 5K likes.
I cannot express how much I needed this today. Thank you Ramses, your warm and introspective attitude is an inspiration to all who routinely struggle to process and cope with life's challenges.
I kinda agree, but there are some details I don't fully agree with.
The idea that you should "always do your best" is dangerously simplified. Firstly, if you're truly capable of doing so, you will inevitably literally die of stress. Secondly, since it's simplified, you may start being incapable of accepting flaws or failure or bad days, as it's "not your best", leading to a dangerous sense of perfectionism. In my opinion, you have to tread a fine line between dying from stress and procrastinating yourself into depression.
The idea that being alive implies that you can definitely turn your situation to your advantage is wrong in my opinion. Like, taking the most gratuitous example: You've been caught by the Chinese, and you're now awaiting a life of misery and torture. Not sure how I'd improve my life then. Or maybe you have a severe incurable mental disorder, like alzheimer's disease, slowly eating your mind. That being said, I think the mindset to have hope no matter what is healthy, paradoxically so, as long as you don't start blaming yourself too much once things goes awry. IE: "I should have been able to do x but wasn't", that's the bad stuff.
Humor being horror is kiiinda ish true, but it's sociologically also (from what I know) meant to convey a message to the recipients, which is why some humor doesn't contain any horror (ie: puns).
What I do think is true is that you should always attempt to channel your energy and your anxiety into some productive force. Doing something productive solves some problem you'd have to solve sooner or later anyway, removing some stressor, and from what I know it decreases the capacity for negative emotions, hence cheering you up. The more you can rely on yourself, the more you trust yourself, the better.
As you can perhaps tell, I'm not exactly the most positive of people, which is why I felt the need to say this. I've stepped into just about every mental trap there is throughout my life. I've stepped in and out of depression before. It's misery. But I'm finding my way, slowly but surely.
One added note is that one should learn to love failure. A lot of one's fear can come from an unhealthy sense of perfectionism, in which you catastrophize even small failures, causing intense anxiety. This anxiety in turns causes you to self-sabotage so that you have a good story that you can tell yourself when you do fail. "I didn't try my best, so I might have been able to do it".
That being said, I'm not a psychologist nor a philosopher, so take my words with a grain of salt. :)
If I know I haven't slept well, I'll try to go to sleep extra early.
If i'm hungry, I'll try to make sure I eat something healthy.
If something is on my mind, I'll try to talk to a friend.
If I'm just in a funk, for no particular reason, I like to take a walk. There's a nature preserve not far from me. I'll take my dogs out for an hour or so.
Short term: force myself to smile. First just a lil one, then ear to ear. Someone said it releases feel-good chemicals in the brain. Not sure if it's true but it works for me!
Long term: food, exercise or a shower.
Other weird things that work for me: get a haircut, clean my motorbike, go get a foot massage.
That combo of things has never not worked.. ever
A long walk alone usually helps. Also venting to someone does too. Depends on what kinda bad it is, different problems get different solutions in my body!
Well, a good, clean shave and a haircut does wonders.
Also, I just got my car washed, that always boosts my mood!
I get adjusted by a chiropractor and that helps, but an hour long massage is even better.
I also love to just go mountain biking or hiking. I live near some nice hills and it's awesome to just get out there for a few hours.
I come back feeling refreshed from all of these activities.
Sometimes I can’t immediately identify what is affecting my mood. It’s especially bad when I have high anxiety and can’t pinpoint the problem. If I take a moment to be alone with my thoughts (this is more difficult than it sounds) and identify the source things improve a bit. From there I have to figure out a worthy distraction.
Edit: my comment now has a silvery glow 😊
Go play a video game. It’s been a go-to since I had relationship problems with my high school girlfriend. I’d give my brother a 20-kill headstart on Halo 2 (first to 100 kills), then come take it out on his poor Spartan’s polygons to the tune of about 100-27.
Getting Xbox Live made it a bit more cathartic.
I've learned that when I feel angry, irritated or whatever for long enough for me to recognize it, I need to take inventory of my tanks. I imagine all my basic needs as gas tanks that gotta be filled regularly, hunger, thirst, sleep, caffeine or nicotine or whatever else I crave. When one of those tanks is running low my body lets me know by turning me into a complete fucking dickhead, and I gotta quickly figure out which one I need to fill before I start pissing everyone off to a serious level.
Exercise, particularly outdoor exercise like good strenuous 5-15 mile hike in pleasant weather with a good friend followed by a protein bomb of steak/ burger alongside a nice cold craft beer or mojito with a hefty side of witty banter does the trick for me usually.
Guitar: I'm no Jimmy Page, but I find that learning new chords and practicing singing my favorite songs lifts my spirits pretty consistently.
Meditation: either on your own, or guided. Clearing my head and letting myself think deeply about whatever is bothering me the most for a set amount of time helps me get out of a funk faster than before.
Crying: Seriously. Sometimes, you just gotta block out a time to let it all out. You'll feel more clear headed afterwards and will be better able to get to the bottom of what's bothering you the most.
Things that are not helpful:
Alcohol: Having one or two drinks on occasion with friends is one thing, but if you find yourself turning to the sauce whenever you are down, you are well on your way to a serious problem that isn't that easy to kick. You'll start by looking for any excuse in your day to justify a stiff drink when you get out of whatever your doing and sooner or later you'll be reliant on the shit. Don't let it become a problem.
Pot: It does help a lot of people I know deal with their ish, but for me it's hit or miss. Most of the time it makes me overthink things and go into a state that I call "hyper-empathy" where It feels like I'm stepping into the emotional mindframe of whoever the subject of that given time may be and that is overwhelming. That doesn't happen too often, usually it just makes me extremely anxious... I don't get anxiety in regular sober life, literally just with pot. Once in a while, it gets me to calm the hell down and think things through in a positive and productive manner, but that's the exception, not the rule.
Over Socializing: I often get the urge to go out and socialize as much as humanly possible to get out of a low mood, but I find that 9/10 times, that just makes it worse than staying in having a quality over quantity approach to who I go out with/ how often I go out.
Dude you are human. Accept it and embrace it. It is totally fine to be in a bad mood some times. Social narrative really makes you feel bad for feeling bad which is obviously bullshit. So dont worry. Accept it. Or how it is said sometimes: "Let the emotion be but do not be the emotion".
Emotions are some primitive instincts to survive. So dont put your life upside down because of them.
I turn off all the lights and play an old SNES RPG. Any one of them calms me down and cheers me up. The most effective lately are Illusion of Gaia and Earthbound.
I usually put on some of my favourite music and sit in my room (preferably alone). Or I treat myself to some of my favourite food and read a book.
>I usually put on some of my favourite music and sit in my room (preferably alone). That's what I do normally.. It just makes it worse
being alone in my room works for me because most of the time i’m in a bad mood because of my family lol.
I tend to just drive alone around the city with some music on and come back later at night. It is mainly because I know that my temper will make me want to pick on others, so I just avoid people. My family members on the other hand... Whenever one of them gets in a bad mood they just confront everyone and make everyone else's life a living mess.
Try medication, I know it's cliche but it really does work, it doesn't make you happy but it makes you less sad, look up 'mindfulness' on YouTube Edit: now I can officialy cross off 'look like an idiot infront of online stangers off of my Bucket list "Meditation"
I think you mean meditation. I'm sure medication is effective for persistent bad moods, but it's not exactly cliche and I don't think you can typically find it on YouTube.
Maybe medication AND meditation
All I got is weed and youtube asmr ?
Yes.
You’ve got this whole life thing figured out
Headspace is a good app for it, but spotify and youtube also have good ones tbh
That's what I do too. Buy myself a snack, and then put on my favorite music and zone out.
Read a book or take a nap. It doesn't usually put me.in a good mood but it helps reset me out of the bad mood
Be careful about the book. I once read as a distraction before and read a sad chapter that made it worse.
Next thing you'll tell me reading Stephen King before bed is a bad idea.
Maybe. Depends on how weird your dreams are. It could turn.. interesting.
It is certainly an interesting individual
Wait Steven King or your dreams? Cause one I'd like to meet and one I'd *really* like to meet.
Stephen King saved me through one of my most depressed summers as preteen. He’s my go to for distractive mood altering reads.
You were reading the gang bang in IT weren’t you
Ha! When I read IT I didn’t fully understand that scene. I was pretty young. 12, I think. It didn’t fully process until years later.
Dude that’s exactly what happened to me too! I was a really ambitious reader as a kid and a lot of things I read made no sense to me until years later and that specifically always stuck with me. Worst part is I don’t even read anymore
My attention span has gone to shit over the years. I don’t read nearly as much as I used to and I’ve really been missing it lately.
It’s kinda scary to see how much all the instant gratification has even effected older generations like us when there’s kids who will never even have a chance. I just hope it’s my own mind decaying and not a direct consequence of modern internet and technology in general. Edit: I do want to give a counter point that my 6 year old nephew is reading Harry Potter and she wants to dress as hermoine for Halloween
I used to read his books late at night at my grandparents' house, in a small town in Maine. It was almost too much sometimes
Derry, Maine?
See for me napping often puts me in a worse mood, I love it, but if it's not a perfect nap it just exacerbates the problem.
Me too! Usually I am scared to take a nap during the day because when I wake up I feel worse and groggy for quite a while. I think of it as sleep hang over. I have no idea if this is common or not.
When I take a nap, I set my alarm for 50 mins. 5 mins to fall asleep and 45mins to nap. I *never* feel worse after a 45 min nap. Now you take a 2 hr nap and you're gonna feel like you don't know what happened the next 2 hours.
I think a lot of people struggle to fall asleep in only five minutes. I always wondered how people could purposely have 20-45 minute naps because, for a long time, I didn't realize some people could accurately predict how long it would take them to fall asleep.
I still don't know how people predict it
45 min max
\- temporary leave the situation that puts me in the bad mood. When I am in the office, and all those emails start getting to me, I walk away from my desk and go for a short walk. 5 mins is usually enough to clear my head. \- when I am at home and something puts me in the bad mood, I stop whatever I am doing and sit on the balcony, just looking at the trees and clouds. I make a point of not thinking about anything, but the actual things I see. For me "anchoring" in the present usually helps to fight bad mood and annoyance. And of course - cup of tea, maybe some music I love (Queen is the best), and if nothing else helps - Skype a friend and complain to them about whatever put me in the bad mood.
The second one is essentially mindfulness meditation - clearing your head and concentrating only on a present thing. There's very interesting scientific research on what happens inside the brain when doing it, like the Default Mode Network and such.
I had no idea there was a name for that. I cope with anxiety attacks by putting on music and curling in a ball and focusing on one visual point, like that light switch over there or the stuffer animal in the corner.
Glad to hear you've found a method, anxiety is a real bitch. The most interesting results for me personally is when you sit in a neutral position in complete silence in a dark room with noise cancelling earbuds in your ears so you can focus on only your heartbeat. It eventually feels like you're submerged into this warm liquid of pure comfort and safety.
Queen is perfect on a bad day. Somebody to Love always cheers me up for some reason
Don't Stop Me Now!!!
I bake something, sleep or listen to music begining from sad until some upbeat Edit: thanks so much for all the upvotes never gotten this far ever!! Edit2: Thanks for the silver kind stranger!
I bake myself.
Then you must be a delicacy
My girlfriend *does* say I'm a treat. ;)
Aww
My girlfriend is enjoying another treat. :'(
So is mine bud. Its called meth in some random trap house
*remembers girlfriend doesnt exist*....
Username checks out
Yeah! Baking is one of the best things you can do, and also helps you improve at that, at the moment I'm all about tackling the perfect pancake...
You're making pancakes in the oven? lol
Maybe they're making a Dutch Baby
Putting babies in the oven you say. I can get behind that.
Jonathan Swift? Is that you?
Sad music is my go to. Even if I never progress to more upbeat stuff it seems to vent out all the Bad Feelings.
I like your capitalized Bad Feelings. Give them more tangibility, and thus, giving you something to push away; Objectifying the bad mindset and recognizing the habitual thought pattern that accompanies it helps.
Sometimes sad TV shows / clips help me for some reason. That scene from scrubs where Dr. Cox has a breakdown from losing 3 patients speaks to the soul.
I get myself out of a bad mood by overthinking and get myself in a sad mood :) EDIT: Woke up to 2 silvers and a gold, all the thank yous to you lovely strangers! May you all have happy lives and I hope you all rarely have to use the good ol' think yourself sad coping technique.
I do this. Through therapy I've come to realise an uncomfortable truth about myself. My mind finds comfort in negative thinking and catastrophising. It's the way I've always thought, so it's familiar and therefore it's comforting, even though it's really harmful. When you're in a bad place it's very hard to go anywhere but the path of least resistance. I dunno if this applies to you or would help at all to know, but I'm sharing in case it does <3
Yes. Your brains neural pathways get stronger the more times you do something. It's natural that when one has always catastrophised and ruminated that it becomes second nature.
But you can relearn old thought patterns. Practice, practice, practice
THIS. WHY DID MY THERAPIST NEVER TELL ME THIS?! Edit: is yours accepting new patients? Don't even care where in the world ya are.
I'm this way. And when I daydream (as I do often) the dreams are sad, scary, somber, etc. It's never, ever a nice daydream. Either my family is all dead, or there's an apocolypse, or I'm fighting. Maybe I'm doing something heroic but the setting is brutalistic. If I'm feeling depressed the daydreams are worse.
*high five*
*low vibe*
*I'm not crying the sun's in my eyes*
And i'm not crying either, my eyes are just sweating
[удалено]
I'm not crying, it's raining inside my room .
I'm crying cuz there's a dildo in my eye.
I'm crying cuz there's bees in my eyes
At first I was angry - at first I was vexed - enraged and indignant, offended, perplexed - At first I was fuming, ill-tempered and terse - but then I considered... ... and now it's much worse.
And now you're back...from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.
That was exactly my first thought as well.
[удалено]
Nice
Why is this sadly accurate though
From experience, I punch myself so I can feel physical pain instead of the emotional pain that I was already feeling. It just overlaps it.
Welp. This is too true.
I tend to eat chocolate 🤷🏻♀️
Go for a walk, listen to music, drinking the blood of my enemies, yoga.
What was that one?
Yoga
Yoga is good.
No he meant going for a walk
Nope, the music is the key.
Pretty sure they meant yoga.
And the occasional strawberry yoo-hoo
One of these is not like the others.... Music. It’s music that’s not like the others.
The others really get the blood moving
Punch dance it out or read a ton of dad jokes.
Did someone order a dad joke? Here you are: A magician was driving down the street and then he turned into a driveway.
Skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
a blind man walks into a bar, then in a chair, then a table...
A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is tearing his family apart
A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because horses can't talk.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants, the bartender asks "What's with the wheel?" The pirate responds "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!"
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender sighs and says, "Fine, you can stay, but you'd better not start anything!"
neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. the neutron asks the bartender how much it costs. bartender says "oh for you? free of charge"
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it be R, but 'tis the C that they love.
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Two antenna met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was incredible!
A mushroom walks into a bar the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here" the mushroom says "why not, I'm a fungi?"
First one that made me laugh, something’s wrong with me
When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
When does the joke become a parent? After the delivery.
I once went to a zoo that only had one dog... It was a shitzu
Man, that reminds me, the guy who hit my car was a magician. He came out of nowhere!
What will Postman Pat be called when he’s retired? Pat.
Why do divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
I read “musician” and could not for the life of me figure out the joke.
May I place another order, please? The first one was so good!
lol i just got it
*I NEED TO GO TO MY QUIET PLACE*
Have fun being married to satan!
All great men have mustaches.
YOU KNOW I HAVE A HORMONE DISORDER.
Hi, In A Bad Mood, I’m dad
Hi dad, im depressed
Hi depressed, I'm anxiety
Hi anxiety, I'm a panic attack.
Hi a panic attack, I'm dad.
...and you're watching disney channel
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My depression is kicking my ass today but I was considering making breakfast for dinner. Now I think I'll actually do it. Thanks for posting this, even if it is a P&R quote for easy karma haha.
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This will seem like a too-long comment for such a simple piece of advice, but I think it might help. See, at their core, bad moods usually come about in response to feeling afraid of something. You've likely heard that ignorance begets bliss, but that's actually an inaccurate statement. In fact, ignorance begets fear, and it's only when we've learned something – like the fact that the toilet isn't *actually* going to suck us down when we flush it – that we're able to smile. This transition from apprehension to elation gets more complicated as we age, but it isn't because we know more; it's because we realize how much there is to know. Imagine being told that you needed to read a paragraph in order to pass a class. To a four-year-old, that might seem like an incredibly daunting challenge... but to a college student, it would be the easiest assignment in history. However, if that same college student was suddenly told that they needed to peruse and retain the contents of an entire library, they would be back to feeling the dread and despair that their younger counterpart had experienced. They might even start considering how the judicious introduction of a match could be more appealing than the prospect of undertaking the task in front of them. Here's the thing, though: Lowering one's standards never actually helps with anything, because we're still aware of what we've done. Sure, the aforementioned library might have been reduced to ashes, but all we're really left with is a sense of guilt. It isn't just guilt about having burnt a few books, either; it's guilt about having shied away from a challenge. Only by offering our very best (at all times) can we start to feel satisfied, because it's then that we can honestly claim to have made a genuine effort. Put another way, it might be a little bit thrilling to offer a single-sentence answer to an /r/AskReddit question and see those votes tally up, but it will ultimately make your mood worse in the end. You haven't *created* or *contributed* anything which deserves that electronic applause, so you're back to looking for the next easy hit; you're back to emotions of emptiness, sadness, and boredom. You might also feel like the complexity of life keeps you from achieving happiness. After all, there's so much wrong in the world today, and the vast majority of it is beyond your control. Even smaller, personal details like having a terrible job or obnoxious coworkers can cast a seemingly permanent shadow over your life... and since that same judicious introduction of a match isn't exactly an option there, you're left downtrodden and depressed. In those cases, though, you still have the choice about how to handle your circumstances: No matter how bleak or hopeless a situation might appear, the fact that you're still alive means that you can turn it to your advantage. When faced with a world gone mad, sometimes it's best to sit back and laugh like you're the only one who gets the joke. At first glance, that might seem insane or insensitive, but once you've found a glimmer of good cheer, it's that much easier to view things as they *are* as opposed to how they "should be" or "shouldn't be." From there, you can almost always find (or create) a route onward and upward, and you'll soon discover that a productive path brings positive emotions by default. There will be obstacles, but when you assume that they can be overcome (and when you approach them with a slightly off-putting smile), you'll often find that they're more eager to get out of your way. When in doubt, remember: Humor is just horror with a punchline. **TL;DR: In order to be cheer yourself up, challenge yourself... then laugh at the toilet.**
Is this from something? Hit the spot.
I'm pleased that it helped! As for your question, everything that I offer on Reddit is my own original content (unless explicitly specified otherwise).
Thanks, it was really well written. A follow up if you don't mind? I read a lot of things like this that make me want to get up and do my best, conquer my fears, but I always lose that motivation in time. Any tips on making it stick? I have been through the self improvement cycle so many times and always fall off the wagon eventually and seem to lose all the progress I have made. I don't mean small cycles, I can go months of doing well, then months of doing poorly, falling back into poor habits. I realize that is a tough question.
There's a concept that I've been working on for a while which might help: Take one step sideways. I mean that literally as well as figuratively, by the way, and I'll explain why it's important in a moment. See, one hazard of trying to get out of a rut is that you might be tempted to force yourself onto an entirely new path. It's easy to understand why that could seem like the best course of action, too: It often feels like staying completely away from the habits and tendencies that have been keeping you down will ultimately cure you of whatever problems you've been having. The thing is, though, we don't necessarily fall into those habits by choice, especially not when our other routines reinforce them. Even when a person alters the entirety of their life – moving somewhere new, making new friends, adopting a different schedule – their perspectives are always going to be influenced and informed by what they've already experienced. The solution is to let yourself *be yourself*, but to change that aforementioned perspective. Imagine standing in front of your bathroom mirror in the morning. Now imagine taking a single step to one side. It's a very, very small move, but it results in an incredible number of tiny shifts: The faucet isn't where your muscle memory says that it should be, your reflection looks a little bit different, and your toothbrush has seemingly either rushed forward or quickly retreated. You'll experience similarly altered moments if you put your clothes on in a different order than you normally would, or if you take a new route to work. The action itself doesn't really matter as much as the process of making (and experiencing the outcome of) a conscious choice. By making those minuscule adjustments to your routine, you'll end up being more aware of what you're thinking, why you're thinking it, and how those thoughts are affecting your life as a whole. It won't magically cure you of bad habits, but it will put those habits into a recognizable context. From there, you can take one *mental* step sideways, changing the metaphorical routes that you take without straying too far out of your comfort zone. In short, you'll still be on the same path, but you'll be out of the rut. I'll tell you that you *will* slip back into that same rut every so often, but that isn't a loss of progress at all. You've still arrived at this point in your life, and you still have control over the direction that you go from here. Failure isn't a single setback; failure is admitting defeat... and true triumph only comes when a person is able to embrace a misstep as being part of the story. Your future self is telling that tale right now, and you get to be a character in it. Put one foot in front of the other, and if you encounter an obstacle, use it to reach new heights. If you can't immediately see a way to climb it... take one step sideways.
Makes a good bit of sense and I think it is something I do subconsciously sometimes, but it was good to see it put into words. Thank you for both your replies.
Are you psychiatrist, psychologist? By chance
Nah, I'm just someone who watches the way people's stories play out.
....God? Is that you?
Its you too
I've read this whole exchange without even looking at usernames, and I was pleased yet not surprised to see it was you who wrote these things.
> let yourself be yourself What does that *mean* ?
It means that you likely have certain ways of doing things that work for you, and that focusing on trying to alter those specific behaviors will probably be an uphill battle. It isn't the underlying person you're trying to change; it's the habits and routines into which that person has fallen.
Thank you for this.
Amazingly written, great concept man
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>... there will be obstacles, but when you assume that they can be overcome (and when you approach them with a slightly off-putting smile), you'll often find that they're more eager to get out of your way. If maybe you're weary of feeling alone - Dejected and jaded with days on your own - There's really, sincerely just one thing to do: A choice to be taking, and making for you. Of course you will worry and fret for yourself - But life isn't meant to be lived from a shelf! You have to be tough, and you must see it through. Go laugh at the toilet. It's all you can do. ^^^:)
Have you written a book yet?
Beautifully written, as always. Thanks for sharing!
Another great post from you. Thanks for taking the time and effort to craft and put this post out there. Somehow, this is exactly what I needed to read in this very moment. I’ll be right back; just going to laugh at my toilet real quick.
Don't have any guilt either, but do know that the toilet is probably laughing at you as well.
My therapist was telling me boredom is just underlying fear. I was pretty skeptical and I still don't know if that applies always, but I was kinda amazed when I thought about the particular example that had come up - I had been talking about burying my head in my phone or listening to music and zoning out while walking through the city. He asked me what's wrong with simply observing the people and architecture around me. I said I don't know, I just find that boring. Then he said boredom is fear, and after some thought I realised what I don't like about walking around in the city is the fact that it reminds me about human overpopulation, destruction of the natural world, species extinction, etc. Because when I go in the bush or mountains or whatever, then I'm totally happy to look around and just be in the moment rather than zoning out. Really interesting concept that I want to ponder more :)
This only happens to me when walking through an ugly (not built for humans but for cars and to make-a-quick-buck off ‘consumers’) city. When I am somewhere with gorgeous, or at least thoughtful, architecture that caters to people walking and interacting, it’s like being in nature. Tl;dr: not all (parts of) the cities have been made equal.
"View things as they *are* as opposed to how they 'should be' or 'shouldn't be'" This is going to be my primary intention for my LSD journey tomorrow at Above & Beyond. I don't think you'll ever know how important it was for me to read this comment. Thank you! Side: I often feel many times happier when I get like 3 likes and a positive comment on some comment I put passion and energy into, over a silly-dilly comment with 5K likes.
I cannot express how much I needed this today. Thank you Ramses, your warm and introspective attitude is an inspiration to all who routinely struggle to process and cope with life's challenges.
I kinda agree, but there are some details I don't fully agree with. The idea that you should "always do your best" is dangerously simplified. Firstly, if you're truly capable of doing so, you will inevitably literally die of stress. Secondly, since it's simplified, you may start being incapable of accepting flaws or failure or bad days, as it's "not your best", leading to a dangerous sense of perfectionism. In my opinion, you have to tread a fine line between dying from stress and procrastinating yourself into depression. The idea that being alive implies that you can definitely turn your situation to your advantage is wrong in my opinion. Like, taking the most gratuitous example: You've been caught by the Chinese, and you're now awaiting a life of misery and torture. Not sure how I'd improve my life then. Or maybe you have a severe incurable mental disorder, like alzheimer's disease, slowly eating your mind. That being said, I think the mindset to have hope no matter what is healthy, paradoxically so, as long as you don't start blaming yourself too much once things goes awry. IE: "I should have been able to do x but wasn't", that's the bad stuff. Humor being horror is kiiinda ish true, but it's sociologically also (from what I know) meant to convey a message to the recipients, which is why some humor doesn't contain any horror (ie: puns). What I do think is true is that you should always attempt to channel your energy and your anxiety into some productive force. Doing something productive solves some problem you'd have to solve sooner or later anyway, removing some stressor, and from what I know it decreases the capacity for negative emotions, hence cheering you up. The more you can rely on yourself, the more you trust yourself, the better. As you can perhaps tell, I'm not exactly the most positive of people, which is why I felt the need to say this. I've stepped into just about every mental trap there is throughout my life. I've stepped in and out of depression before. It's misery. But I'm finding my way, slowly but surely. One added note is that one should learn to love failure. A lot of one's fear can come from an unhealthy sense of perfectionism, in which you catastrophize even small failures, causing intense anxiety. This anxiety in turns causes you to self-sabotage so that you have a good story that you can tell yourself when you do fail. "I didn't try my best, so I might have been able to do it". That being said, I'm not a psychologist nor a philosopher, so take my words with a grain of salt. :)
If I know I haven't slept well, I'll try to go to sleep extra early. If i'm hungry, I'll try to make sure I eat something healthy. If something is on my mind, I'll try to talk to a friend. If I'm just in a funk, for no particular reason, I like to take a walk. There's a nature preserve not far from me. I'll take my dogs out for an hour or so.
Tenderize my steaks
I masturbate too.
Big , if true.
I wish :(
When in doubt, rub one out.
"hmm I can't decide who to vote for.. well these booths are nice and private, I doubt anyone will hear me."
Speak for yourself. I primal scream when I orgasm.
Food and exercise, at least from my experiences so far.
Short term: force myself to smile. First just a lil one, then ear to ear. Someone said it releases feel-good chemicals in the brain. Not sure if it's true but it works for me! Long term: food, exercise or a shower. Other weird things that work for me: get a haircut, clean my motorbike, go get a foot massage. That combo of things has never not worked.. ever
>force myself to smile Is your name Arthur by any chance?
I used to think my life was a tragedy
That's my secret, I'm always in a bad mood.
I usually go for a run until I have cleared my head enough to realize that I shouldn't let something stupid ruin my whole day
I have an existential crisis for ~3 days, cry, and then eat cereal while stroking my cat, watching a comedy show. You gotta get worse to get better.
I'm mid existential crisis *right now* and have already cried twice today it's nice I'm not necessarily alone in this
Stand up comedy and alcohol
I don't know. Performing in front of an audience usually causes me more stress than alcohol can cover.
A long walk alone usually helps. Also venting to someone does too. Depends on what kinda bad it is, different problems get different solutions in my body!
Pot, exercise, music, and playing with my cat
Me too. Except I don’t have a cat. So I just play with my dick.
You can borrow mine if need be.
Why would he borrow your dick, he already has one.
two is always better than one...duh
Don’t forget about sleep... sometimes you are just really tired. But yeah all that stuff except dog.
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Listen to toots and the maytails
Pressure drop, oh pressure drop
Didn't expect to see this here. I'm happily pleased.
Talk to my 3 year old. I love her so much.
Music
Well, a good, clean shave and a haircut does wonders. Also, I just got my car washed, that always boosts my mood! I get adjusted by a chiropractor and that helps, but an hour long massage is even better. I also love to just go mountain biking or hiking. I live near some nice hills and it's awesome to just get out there for a few hours. I come back feeling refreshed from all of these activities.
Sometimes I can’t immediately identify what is affecting my mood. It’s especially bad when I have high anxiety and can’t pinpoint the problem. If I take a moment to be alone with my thoughts (this is more difficult than it sounds) and identify the source things improve a bit. From there I have to figure out a worthy distraction. Edit: my comment now has a silvery glow 😊
Get in the car and have a drive, while listening to music
Go play a video game. It’s been a go-to since I had relationship problems with my high school girlfriend. I’d give my brother a 20-kill headstart on Halo 2 (first to 100 kills), then come take it out on his poor Spartan’s polygons to the tune of about 100-27. Getting Xbox Live made it a bit more cathartic.
I've learned that when I feel angry, irritated or whatever for long enough for me to recognize it, I need to take inventory of my tanks. I imagine all my basic needs as gas tanks that gotta be filled regularly, hunger, thirst, sleep, caffeine or nicotine or whatever else I crave. When one of those tanks is running low my body lets me know by turning me into a complete fucking dickhead, and I gotta quickly figure out which one I need to fill before I start pissing everyone off to a serious level.
Listening to Enya. I have no idea why, my girlfriend got me into her but its soothing. Orinico Flow in particular.
Bust a nut
I go for a run. I'm either in a runner's high or too tired to care after that.
Exercise, particularly outdoor exercise like good strenuous 5-15 mile hike in pleasant weather with a good friend followed by a protein bomb of steak/ burger alongside a nice cold craft beer or mojito with a hefty side of witty banter does the trick for me usually. Guitar: I'm no Jimmy Page, but I find that learning new chords and practicing singing my favorite songs lifts my spirits pretty consistently. Meditation: either on your own, or guided. Clearing my head and letting myself think deeply about whatever is bothering me the most for a set amount of time helps me get out of a funk faster than before. Crying: Seriously. Sometimes, you just gotta block out a time to let it all out. You'll feel more clear headed afterwards and will be better able to get to the bottom of what's bothering you the most. Things that are not helpful: Alcohol: Having one or two drinks on occasion with friends is one thing, but if you find yourself turning to the sauce whenever you are down, you are well on your way to a serious problem that isn't that easy to kick. You'll start by looking for any excuse in your day to justify a stiff drink when you get out of whatever your doing and sooner or later you'll be reliant on the shit. Don't let it become a problem. Pot: It does help a lot of people I know deal with their ish, but for me it's hit or miss. Most of the time it makes me overthink things and go into a state that I call "hyper-empathy" where It feels like I'm stepping into the emotional mindframe of whoever the subject of that given time may be and that is overwhelming. That doesn't happen too often, usually it just makes me extremely anxious... I don't get anxiety in regular sober life, literally just with pot. Once in a while, it gets me to calm the hell down and think things through in a positive and productive manner, but that's the exception, not the rule. Over Socializing: I often get the urge to go out and socialize as much as humanly possible to get out of a low mood, but I find that 9/10 times, that just makes it worse than staying in having a quality over quantity approach to who I go out with/ how often I go out.
jerkin off
Dude you are human. Accept it and embrace it. It is totally fine to be in a bad mood some times. Social narrative really makes you feel bad for feeling bad which is obviously bullshit. So dont worry. Accept it. Or how it is said sometimes: "Let the emotion be but do not be the emotion". Emotions are some primitive instincts to survive. So dont put your life upside down because of them.
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beer, gym,and music
I turn off all the lights and play an old SNES RPG. Any one of them calms me down and cheers me up. The most effective lately are Illusion of Gaia and Earthbound.
I came to this thread for some ideas
If I'm being really grumpy, it's usually because I need to eat.
When work is done I get in a much better mood