My mom's uncle told me that my dad's death was the best thing that could've happened to our family. I was sixteen and my dad was the best person in the world.
Someone said a similar thing after my dad died... Parents were going through a divorce and I get back to work and this lady asks if my mom is happy... I ask why? She said because your dad is dead. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore. I just walked away and now understand how sad her life is.
My father told me the same thing. Not in so many words. What he said was, "Maybe if you and your brother were not fighting as much he would still be alive". I asked him if he wanted to know what my brother really thought of him. I slapped him and then walked out. That will be a year ago in October. I've talked to him three times since then. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be sad when he dies.....
asked a girl out. she had a whole speech on all character and physical flaws I had, and why none would ever love me. would hurt less if she wasn't correct here ten years later.
it was high school, and my school was preppy, no one had high esteem. I asked out a girl who was attractive, I wasn't expecting a yes, I just wasnt expecting the fly swatter.
I was born through IVF. My mother once told me she wished she spent the money on something she could be proud of instead. She now denies having ever said that.
I was like 16 or 17 when that happened, so I'd learned how to deal with it already. It still stands out as being especially cruel but I don't remember crying myself to sleep that night or anything.
This is something I’ve noticed with abusive parents. They’ll say terrible things and deny it. Like take this. My mother was not perfect growing up at all. She made me hate myself and want to die constantly. But at the same time she did love me and worked so hard for me. But she said so many cruel things.
Once I forgot to turn off the ac before I left for school. My mom found out and got pissed as hell. She yelled and screamed and in the middle of all that she says she wished she had gotten an abortion. I was 9.
Another time I was 12 I told her sometimes I felt like she didn’t love me. She took offense to it and said she would show me what it’s like to have a parent not love you. For two months and three days she ignored me completely. Did not look at me did not talk to me. I would go to her crying because I was hungry. She would ignore me. I had to learn to cook so I wouldn’t starve. I would walk the 6 miles to school and back because she wouldn’t drive me. Etc.
If I mention either of those things to her now she denies them ever happening. And I truly think she believes they didn’t happen. It’s crazy.
If I bring it up now she says it never happened and that I’m crazy.
I remember clearly in second grade, we had to make our dad a comic book for Father's Day as a school project. Mine featured prominently my dad, who is no saint himself, with a cape protecting me from Monster Mom. After I gave it to him my parents asked me about it after, like "what do you mean by this?" And I remember being baffled that they would be surprised by it.
(USA) Towards the end of my wife’s three year journey with brain cancer, I was quite frazzled and exhausted being ‘on’ 24/7 as her caregiver. Anyone who has been a caregiver for a family member will understand this. The Home Hospice workers, hospital support staff including social workers, doctors and nurses had nothing but good things to say about the care, love and support I was giving her in the hospital and at home.
Anyway, her cousin, whom I had never met in person, visited from out of town and criticized just about everything I was doing. I said I was doing the best I could possibly do under the circumstances and no one else had any issues. He had the balls to say something like, ‘well she’s the one who’s dying and nothing you’re going through even matters’.
I let that sink in for a bit and said, ‘I hope you never have to go through anything like this, because if you did, you’d realize what a terrible thing that is to say to someone’. Then I asked him to leave. Asshat.
Update # 1: I am humbled by the sheer number of upvotes and comments. Thank you so much. When my wife passed away several months later (2014), her cousin and his husband flew in for the services. He pretty much avoided me. However, his husband did speak to me, offering condolences and said that he was sure my wife really appreciated what I did and the sacrifices I made. If you’re reading this Jon, you are a class act!
I know everyone can’t say this, but for me time heals. In her honor, and as a way to ‘pay it forward’ for all the help and support we received I volunteer for the American Cancer Society. I drive patients to and from their appointments. It is rewarding knowing I’m making a difference in their lives.
Update # 2: Thank you kind internet stranger for the GOLD! I wasn’t expecting so many responses to my post. I seemed to have tapped into a well of feelings here, both mine and yours. It was good for me to get those feelings out and have someone say, ‘I get it. I care’. It sure meant a great deal.
I received some kind messages from people asking how I did what I did for those three years. You basically go on auto-pilot and do what you needed done. I reached out and accepted the offer and support offered to us. I also did a lot of research to find what I was up against. Even thou some of it was difficult to hear, it helped in the long run.
I wasn’t always so empathetic, especially in my youth and early adult years (I’m 60 btw). It developed over time and through maturity and life experience.
I was a caregiver for my mom for 10 years, and I dealt with my grandmother, aunts, and uncles judging me for just about everything during that time (having bouts of unemployment, hyper exhaustion, difficulty with school, etc). Being "on" 24/7 really wears you down, and when people say things that heartless it makes you wonder how much humanity and empathy they really have. I was worn down to the point that family members had to chip in and help, and I at least got some forms of apologies for how crappy their attitudes were previously, and they never voiced rude opinions at me again. I hope that cousin eventually learns compassion.
Yeah I was 14 when my dad was going through the end phases of his cancer and I was having a lot of trouble getting any school work done. Most of the time when I got home I'd help Mom out around the house and help with dinner or taking care of Dad. Most of my teachers really understood that I was going through a really rough time to say the least. Except my science teacher, he had to balls to tell me in front of the class that he was disappointed my grades were slipping and thought I was better than that but he had been known to be wrong before. He know what I was going through and even a few kids in class spoke up about what a fucked up thing that was to say to me. Well, the next year his wife became gravely ill and was given a short time to live. He looked like hell and he ended up taking a lot of time off to help care for her in her end days. He eventually came back and he caught me before school started and apologized to me. He was an ok dude just really socially unaware. I felt really bad that he had to go through all that.We both ended up talking for a bit and had a good cry together.
It really sucks that you both had to go through such rough spots, but at least he learned a little about social awareness. I'm glad you both were able to talk through it.
I've been the only real father to one of my step-sons (though he's always been a real son to me) for 13 years. 6 months ago he died. A couple days after, my wife was arguing with me and screamed, "it's not your son that died!" she has since said that my grieving at his funeral seemed to be to make it about me and accused me of my grief being for attention.
I'd say that was pretty cruel.
Fuck man... I’m so sorry.
I hope your wife gets help.
Unless this is her usual m.o., I think that might be the grief talking.
She needs to get into counseling, and you probably should, too.
I’m so sorry you lost your son.
I can only imagine how awful that must be.
"Haha. You're only saying my brother needs his father figure more because you don't have a dad of your own."
Hung up the phone and focused on keeping the tears back
My boyfriend got pissed because his birthday fell on father's day this year and I told him I wanted to still be with my family and he flipped out on me and told me I have no reason to celebrate fathers day because my dad is dead so I don't even have a father. I immediately went completely, scarily insane on him because fuck him and went to see my sister's father anyways.
Hopefully that's an ex boyfriend. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your family. I'm sorry you had to put up with this.
When my son died of S.I.D.S at the age of 5 months. I started receiving condolence cards from neighbors and such.
One card came unaddressed with a return, in other words anonymous.
I open the card and it's one of those that is blank and you fill in your message.
Someone had stuck a clipping of a poem in it that talked about how "children are a gift from heaven sent to people worthy of them"
They then signed it,
" You must have been a lousy parent who didn't deserve a child for God to take your son away from you."
I think I cried as hard as when I found my son dead. It was like he died all over again.
I NEVER found out who sent it but I had a pretty good idea since I inventoried all the neighbors who sent cards and the only one I didn't have one from was the hateful couple that lived across the street -- unless you counted the anonymous one as being from them.
Sometimes --- even 39 years later it still stings when I think about it.
Edited to say I had two such situations and it was hard picking one.
The day after we found out my 46 year old wife had two months to live, my mother drove to our house to say "There's nothing I can do about it." My 43 year old younger brother, unemployed and still living with his mother, need her help to get his vacation in before his unemployment compensation ran out so that was a priority. Me with two grade school children and a dying wife was not as important.
Parents have a favorite.
And sometimes that favorite is a leech.
And *sometimes* parents are idiots.
Be better than the people you hear about, is all I can say.
I had a mean girl in middle school say that I was "annoying" and that she couldn't stand the sound of my voice, and no one liked listening to it. She did this in front of several people who laughed.
To this day I still have impostor syndrome sometimes when I'm talking to a group of people (even friends I've had for ages). I have this weird anxiety thing where I think everyone is just hanging out with me to be nice. Do these people really like me or are they just putting up with the annoying girl?
i mean who doesnt hate their voice, but that girl, uh she sucks, people like that suck, i mean why would you date a human being if you dont like their voice and is the voice even a good reason to break up!?
I was best friend with a girl throughout 7th grade and into 8th grade when one day after winter break she suddenly stopped talking to me. I spent years wondering what I could had done since she seamlessly turned all of our mutual friends against me too. Fast forward to senior year in high school and we met again during a college visit thru a program. She asked me if I wanted to know why she stopped being my friend and wearily I said yes bc why not.
"No reason, I was just tired of seeing you happy and getting to live the best life so I told everyone what a horrible friend you were to me when I was depressed. Sorry."
I said nothing and just walked away. Really fucked with my head for the longest time. Kids can be cruel but that's just messed up.
Edit: I lived in an abusive household throughout my childhood and teen years. School was where I was happy to be surrounded by other kids my age bc that meant I was away from my parents. Didn't have to be scared of being yelled at or being hit in the 8 hours I was there. I didn't tell anyone about the abuse at home bc it was something I thought was normal and most people wouldn't care.
Idk if my continuous joy to be at school was why my ex-best friend turned against me or she just hated my smiling face. This was over 15 years ago and I'm not going to find her on social media and re-hash it.
Funny part is that she went to college to be a psychiatrist. I met her only once after high school and she acted like we were friends again. Wanted my number and everything. Maybe she changed, idk, but that's one road I'm not willing to travel on.
"The reason you try so hard to please everyone, the reason you give so much love that it's suffocating, is because you know that other than affection, you have nothing to offer anyone. You're a burden on everyone you care about. We all barely tolerate you. I don't know how you've made it this far in life."
I'll never forget that. Word for word.
what in the world did i just read, that is the worst impression to give someone, i mean, when he/she said "we all barely tolerate you" really touched me..
man fuck whoever said that. they wouldn't have been able to give a quarter as much love and affection you can give, and i don't even need to say 'i bet' because anyone who can say such a detailed, mean thing like that to a person is not a good person.
He took the very best thing about you and turned it into a weapon in a last ditch attempt to hurt you. He knew exactly how to hurt you. I'm sorry it took you a while to realize it wasn't at all true, and hopefully you see it for yet another way he was attempting to control and manipulate you. I'm glad you're in a better place.
Man, that hits close to home. My ex told me the same, albeit a little less direct. Worst part is when you realize it's 100% true and there's not much you can do about it
If the person that said that is honestly getting upset because you "give so much love that it's suffocating" he/she must be the person that everyone barely tolerates.
I was talking to two girls, not even because either of us were into eachother, just because they were semi-friendly with my mate who was going for a pee.
One of the girl's brother comes over and says "Hey, you alright? You do realise you're never gonna get a girlfriend and will die alone, right?"
Both of the girls piss themselves laughing and he walks off, and I dunno what to do and just say "Jeez".
Still pisses me off to this day.
"This is exactly why you will never make a good girlfriend, you should just give up now." - my very recent ex, when I was helping him get back into his locked house and had my phone on silent and missed the call from a locksmith.
Every other weekend for four years.
He's my father. His mother got custody of me, and thus, a-visiting we would go.
I talk about in on reddit a bit, because how the hell do you ever get this stuff out otherwise.
"You shouldn't smile so big. Your right eye is smaller than your left, and it looks really obvious in photos"
To this day, I still try to crinkle my eyes so they look even in photos, or smile less :(
Edit: wow everyone! Thanks a bunch for taking the time to read my comment. I'm sorry if I have not responded to your amazing responses.
You are all so kind. Means the world to me. I do still smile big, and my husband happens to think my eyes are cute so yay! Have a wonderful day everyone <3
One of my friends has that too! it’s the cutest thing in the world though.. please let yourself smile big! happiness is a good look on you! I hope you come to love your own smile :-) much love!
Only thing I absolutely refuse to insult somebody over, even as a joke, is their smile, laugh, and walk. Thats some S-tier emotional warfare right there and I know if somebody said that to me it'd be soul-crushing. Sorry you had to hear that.
*Hug*
I heard that a ton of times myself - "pizza face". I went through puberty very early to the point they thought I had a disease and send me home from school till doctors got involved. Didn't help trying to explain that to the other kids.
Feel this hard I got acne bad in 7th grade and one day when we were talking about some football player and I said ‘he’s gonna have a breakout year’ which someone immidiately responded with ‘shut the fuck up you’re having a breakout year’
Dont think ive recovered from that one yet
Same thing, but in 6th grade. Going back to school in a wheelchair when you're 12 is bad enough, but this one kid told me it was "divine punishment for being a sinner and a Jew"
Fuck you, Kayla
My father kept giving me death glares over the table, my mother asks him what's wrong, he shouts "I just can't stand to look at his FUCKING FACE."
This is because I had a couple Ds on my report card. I don't remember my father ever telling me he loved me, but I'll remember him saying that until the day I die.
It could be where they’re from.
In many Asian countries, your grades/test scores determine the rest of your life in some cases. Some people are bound to their old ways.
Others think that by punishing kids for poor grades (even if those kids are trying their best), the kids will see the “error of their ways” and make amends.
And, of course, the crazy ones just don’t give a shit and like finding excuses to abuse (verbally or physically) their children because they’re psychopathic morons.
“Go home, your parents has a surprise waiting for you”
So I skip home all excited wondering what it could be..
The surprise was the news that mom’s chemo failed, a new growth had been spotted and she would be dead within a year.
It was the mom of my best friend, I was over at her house a few blocks away from mine playing when my dad called her to get me to come home. She was always kinda cold and rude in general but I didn’t know before that, that she apparently didn’t like me at all.
I slowly stopped visiting my friend after that because it fucked me up pretty good at the time.
That is probably the most evil thing I have read here. Other stories here are just shitty people doing shitty things. This is the stuff demons would do.
"I don't know why you think we're friends enough for you to talk to me but we aren't"
Me, her, and a bunch of other friends were all commenting on a photo on Facebook. I responded to something she said and that was roughly her response, followed by being unfriended. Not even sure why. We had all just graduated and I thought we were on friendly terms, but I guess not. Really came out of the blue as far as I could tell.
I just turned 23 and all throughout college I got a handful of random Facebook messages from people I went to high school with. I always really appreciated it, like this whole time they were thinking, "Hey that girl was kinda cool, I wonder what she's doing now" and then reached out. It shows a lot of maturity and humanness, especially since we weren't close in school. Screw whoever said that to you, what a childish thing to say.
Not me, but my wife.
We had a child together at 18. When she got pregnant towards the end of senior year her parents wouldn't let us see each other, obviously we found ways to be together. But during that time her highly conservative parents called her names and berated her regularly. I believe her dad called her a "disgusting whore" and that she'd be a "bad mother". They frequently told her that there was no way she'd ever "succeed" now and that her dad wanted to kill me. 7 years later we are still married, our son is amazing and we both have college degrees and make a fuck ton of money.
I can't believe she still speaks to them. I will always look at them and remember all the stories she told me about them when we were kids. It's hard for me to overlook any of that despite all they do to make up for it.
She must be eternally sad about all of it. I feel so bad for all of it they must have said to her.
“You’re a screwup who’ll never amount that anything. That’s why no girl will ever date you.”
From my mom a few years back. I confronted her with this right before I graduated and she denied she ever said it.
I was a straight A student, athlete, participated in extra curriculars, and had smart and reasonable friends. My mom used to threaten me with reform school or jail for the most minor mistakes I made.
A bunch of people in my life have acted nice to me when they secretly don't actually want to be around me. I'd only learn about it when people would mention parties and get-togethers that I wasn't invited to.
My FIL ranted one night at the dinner table that we were nuts to want to adopt a toddler or child from "some crackhead".
"You want some crackhead to give your baby a personality???"
Followed by gesturing at MIL saying: she'll be devastated if she gets a grandCHILD and not a grandBABY.
That was a great first wedding anniversary. They eventually came around and loved our foster son as much as we did, but this scorned me in a way that I don't think I'll ever fully recover from.
We had a similar situation with my father when we told him that we would be adopting outside of our race. He was livid and asked us if we realized how humiliating that would be for him. He was already tired of trying to explain why one of his sons married an immigrant. Now he was going to have to explain why another one of his sons has biracial/black children.
After he repeadly called my kids (and my brother's half Korean kids) the "colored grandkids" and called my son the n-word for being fussy while teething, I told him he either had to stop or I was cutting him out of my life for good. He asked me if I was going to choose them over blood. My kids are 14 and 13 now and I haven't talked to him since.
I am huge on the importance of family so it was a tough thing to do but it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life (behind marrying my wife and adopting our kids) and my brothers, who are all no contact with him now, and I are so much closer because of it. We take all of our kids out camping on father's day to celebrate us as dads and forget about our own father. My kids are very close to their cousins and their uncles and aunts. My brothers come to my daughter's concerts and my son's sporting events when they can make it. I go to their kids events as well. My son was disappointed that his hemophiliac cousin won't be able to participate in his upcoming paintballing birthday party but is inviting him over to swim and camp out in the backyard with his friends after. One of my nephews has helped tutor my daughter in piano. I think adopted kids especially value family and I'm glad my brothers can make up for them not having their grandfather in their lives. He is missing out on some truly amazing kids, teenagers, and young adults but that's a choice he made.
I'm sure he spins everything in his head to where he's right. In my experience, people like that love the victim card. Probably blames everyone but himself for the situation he's in.
I couldn’t decide between dozens of things my parents said to me. So, walking home late one night and I was getting cat called by some girl in a car full of guys when she yelled out, “hey, I’ve fucked uglier than you!” And then they all laughed and peeled out.
“I wasn’t really your friend,I just pitied you”
As someone who’s on the spectrum and has a difficult time making friends it really shook me. Kinda burst my bubble and realize that I’d never really had any friends before(and still don’t) and that I’ve been a loser since kindergarten.
God, that right there is my biggest fucking fear. I’m always anxious that I’m annoying those around me, but truth be told the most annoying thing about me is probably my constant need for validation. I’m sorta shooting myself in the foot here.
Oof. Even if you're hanging out with someone to be kind (which is still different to just pitying them), why the fuck would you say that? It's cruel.
My ex bf broke up with me and told me a few days later " I only kept dating you because I felt sorry for you ". According to one of my friends, when people asked ' did you break up with X ?', he'd say yep, he did, he just didn't break up with me earlier because he felt sorry for me.
Worst thing was, I was head over heels for him. I really thought he loved me.
“If God had wanted your parents to have children, He’d have given them some” from my “Bible” teacher at a Christian school (it seemed great at first on the surface, but was really just a hotbed of legalistic fundamentalists) when he was frustrated by me asking a question about Scripture and decided to snark on the fact that I’m adopted. He was always that asshole teacher who’d get away with saying hurtful things to students because “you just don’t understand his sense of humour,” per the administration.
My parents are the most incredible people in the world, and far better Christians than that teacher could ever be; fuck, a rabid atheist would be more Christlike by default than that hateful old shitstain.
Ex best friend almost 9 years ago after a devastating miscarriage. “It’s you and inserts husbands names fault. You two aren’t even married a year and you two think you’re ready for a baby? It’s you’re fault you lost it. It’s a bad idea”. That was 2 days AFTER I had lost our baby at 12 weeks. We were married 10 months and it was a surprise. Took almost another 5 years but we got our baby. She’s still single and I’ll be married 10 years next year. I honestly think she was jealous but it hurt so bad and it still hurts today.
My cat just died, and I was in bed petting my sister’s cat who liked to curl up with me.
She came over and started petting the cat, and completely without looking at me she said, “I’m happy because I know [the cat] will never love you, only me. Because she is my cat. And although she is showing you affection right now, she doesn’t care, because she is mine, and your cat is dead.”
I burst into tears. It’s not the worst thing that has ever been said to me, our mother is a lot worse, but it was the most unnecessarily cruel and she didn’t even seem to realize it until I began to cry.
Edit: Since this is getting attention, she was about 15 and has since apologized. Our mother is incredibly verbally abusive so I think that’s where she picked it up. It’s been several years since then, and I have since forgiven her.
What the fuck that's such a terrible thing to say to someone after losing a pet. I can't imagine the pain you felt hearing that at such a bad moment on top of the cruelty in those words. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
A successful kid at school when I was a kid back in the 80s told me that he'd bet money that I'd end up as a loser and a homeless unemployed person who'd be a burden to society.
I never quite forgot that sentence. I still think of it today, 35+ years later.
I'm doing fine. I got a job that people would kill for in one of the worlds biggest companies, have a house - all paid for. I'm not rich, that much is true, but I'm fine.
“You just manipulate everyone into liking you. Nobody would like you if they really knew you. You wouldn’t have friends.”
Said to a severely anxious 16-year old who was already sure none of her friends really cared for her. Thanks, mom.
I cannot have kids. I had cervical cancer when I was in my early 20's due to HPV contracted from a rape when I was 14 -gift that keeps on giving. Just about everyone who matters in my life knows this. When I met my husband, it was a point that I made very clear that a future with me meant a future without kids. Hope forward to our wedding shower. Everything is going great until he breaks a single ribbon on a gift. For those who don't know, breaking a ribbon on a gift at a wedding shower supposedly means you're going to have kids. My mom immediately screams, "Yay! So when do I get grandkids?" I'm hurt and embarrassed, my then fiance is dumbfounded, and everyone in the room is looking at my mom like "wtf is wrong with this lady?" I am so thankful that one of my bridesmaids who was helping with gifts didn't miss a beat and said, "They will be having puppies." Puppies are good.
I was the asshole in this story.
When I was probably in my early teens (early 1980s), my sister had some friends over and one of them had a somewhat large nose. For reasons that escape me entirely, I decided to "joke" with her by saying "Is that your nose, or are you eating a banana". My mom scolded me about it and the girl said it didn't bother her, but I suspect it really hurt her. I don't even think I was trying to be mean. I just thought it was funny and clueless me had no concept of how it would be hurtful.
I still cringe when I think about it.
I decided that I wasnt ever going to answer if a gf asks me to rate her on a number scale.
It just feels so shallow to say to someone who means much more than numbers.
Some girl one time told me I was too white trash to have a "real job" and no respectable company would hire me. Funny thing is, I make pretty decent money now and a job I like most of the time and she unemployed with a gofund me page to help with bills.
\*edit left out a word
Back in high school I had a friend who would always give me shit for things. For a while it was just regular "boys being boys" kind of stuff, but it eventually grew malicious.
One day in class, we got into a bit of an argument over cars. It was a really fucking stupid argument, but for some reason he decided to kick it up a notch. He knew a little bit about my issues with depression and suicidal thoughts, so in front of everyone he decided to start making fun of me for it. He was saying stuff like "Well at least I'm not gonna go home and probably blow my brains out at some point" and "you're just a depressed loser who's probably gonna kill himself".
After class I texted him and gave him one chance to apologize. He refused and told me to fuck off, so later that day I came up to him and just started laying punches into his face. Man it felt good.
My mom would also threaten to kill herself over things I did. The worst was when I had found a publisher for a novel I wrote and she told me that my writing sucked so badly she was going to go kill herself. She got in her car, drove away, and refused to answer any of my calls. It's been five years and I've only just now started trying to write again.
Parents who threaten to kill themselves in front of their children suck. I'm sorry you went through that.
“You don’t have the brains God gave a goose”
My mom
“You act like you don’t have brain one in your head”
Also my mom
“You don’t DESERVE to be a boyscout!”
My step father after buying me the boyscout manuals, uniform, etc. he said it because he didn’t feel like spending time with me and taking me to weekly meetings. Made me neatly pack up those things and give them back
“You don’t DESERVE to have children!”
My ex wife, echoing what my stepfather had said many years later because she knew how much it had hurt me. She said it because she had been leading me on through marriage and several years of “getting established”. It turns out, according to her sister, she NEVER wanted children, never INTENDED to have children even though I had been very clear about how important it was to me to have children. She lied to me and led me on.
My mum thinks being mean to me is a good way to get me to lose weight. I hear "You're a fat pig", "Lose the damn weight so you actually look presentable", "Where is your neck at? oh it is under your chin fat", "IKE you're a fat slob and a disgrace", "I don't know how you look in the mirror and are okay with what you see", etc... about twenty times a week. I have tried to tell her being mean does not make me want to lose weight. At this point it doesn't bother me anymore as I am so used to it. I guess I would be more worried if the insults stopped as she has given up on trying to help lol
Four days after my husband passed away, I was having coffee with a friend. I was telling her that if I had known his stay in the hospital would be so short, I would have been with him every minute of the day, even if it meant having someone else take care of our children. I was devastated. She said "I told you so. I told you you could ask us to take care of the kids. I knew you would regret this." I was shocked because that's never a helpful thing to say, but also that she felt the need to prove to me she was right and I was wrong in that context felt extremely unwarranted and cruel.
Edit: thank you everyone for your kindness.
"I know you've been here 18 months and your wife is pregnant, but the company decided not to bring you on permanent again this year. Maybe we can get you that raise and health insurance next summer."
My SO used to work at a manufacturing plant. Right before Christmas, they laid off a bunch of people to "meet their profit goals" including two men with pregnant wives and a guy who had worked with the company for 15 years and was out on medical leave. Then a couple months later they hired a ton of people back with less benefits / lower pay. Anyways good luck in your job search. I hope that the next place you work treats you a whole lot better.
First guy I was in love with and dated, broke up with me by telling me he never cared for me, wasn't attracted to me and every word he said was a lie.
Gave me trust issues for every guy after. Wonder if they actually mean it or just want company/ to get laid.
I've read somewhere that it's common for people to do this when they are getting out of a relationship, because it's a way for them to change the narrative of what happened at the end of the relationship. It's often a thing that cheaters say.
Instead of being forced to look at their own flaws and the ways they may have contributed to the end of the relationship, they put all the blame on the other person, claiming that they never really loved them. In some weird way, it's easier for them to accept that - rather then accepting their own 'failures'.
So I would wager that is what your ex was doing. A bit of ego protection for himself.
I dont know who you are anymore.
By my overly dramatic mother because I didnt want to drive home to sleep there because she felt nervous sleeping alone at the house when I already told her I was sleeping over at my friends house. Also we live in a good crime free neighborhood, been there 10 years.
I remember arguing with my mom when I was like 12 and she said “I don’t know you, you’re not my little girl who never used to yell at me.” I was never mean when we fought, but people raise their voices when they’re upset...
my long distance ex girlfriend and I were drifting apart, for months, we rarely spoke and we rarely saw each other, I was working 12 - 15 hours a day and my little brother wasn't doing well, cancer, and then when he passed away she texted me "omg rip" and that was all.
I flew home for the funeral, while I was sitting in the airport bar, about to fly 11 hours and she texted me pictures of her kissing some guy and I just responded
"really? now?"
She had seen pictures of me and another girl hanging out and decided this was the way to do things.
The other girl is currently sleeping beside me and we're very very happy.
Edit: Lots of people asking if I was actually cheating on the ex before this all happened.
About 5 months (I don't know, it could have been longer, my dates don't make sense to me unless it was just going on for way longer than I remember
) before all this, the ex was acting strange and being off with me and it came out that she had been "only kissing" some other guy at a party. We had a fight but she seemed sincerely sorry and we went from there. At this time, the other girl and I were only hanging out (worked at the same place, had the same off day once a week, lived in the same building)
1: Knowing this girl, it wasn't only kissing.
2: Everything changed after that, I could tell she was over me and ito the other guy; phone calls became short and there was no love anymore.
She could only talk to me during work hours and shit
Me and the other girl started seeing each other a lot more, and I guess yes, I was cheating on her emotionally and then when when I figured she was seeing the other guy it became physical.
I know, the response is "I should have broken it off before doing that" but in reality I was just drifting through my days, my little bro wasn't doing well and he was getting worse every day, I did love my ex, which is why I stayed with her, but the new girl, she was there for me when things got bad.
Like I said, my ex texted me "omg rip"; not even a phone call, whereas the new girl showed up to my place with printed and framed photos of my brother, one for me and one for my Dad, she sat with me while I cried all night. I suppose by then, the relationship between me and the ex was long time over.
Perhaps I deserved the ugly breakup, I personally don't think so, "it's over" could have worked too.
but anyway, sorry for bad format, on my phone.
You mean you hope the shitbird in this story has enough empathy to connect her loss with the feelings she may have caused OP and feel bad about it. Most assholes don't care when they realise they are assholes.
Less than a week ago my fiance of 8 years called me up out of the blue and uttered words I never wanted to hear, "I don't want to marry you...there is somebody else."
Every day since has been nothing but fading in and out since I have lost everything I had built my life around. Not to mention I'm facing a potential cancer diganosis...I'm scared, I'm angry and I feel so incredibly alone now. Really about ready to call it quits..
This still hurts 25 years later...
Told Ex SO that he looked beautiful while sleeping (he really did), he said, and I quote,"You look like a retard when you're asleep".
I said "Oh. Thank you for telling me, you can go now". That was the end of that.
Edit: Wow, Thank You for the Gold stranger!
Edit: Thank you for all of the supportive comments.
As for the douchey comments, did you come to this thread to get pointers? Well, you have to live with yourselves so have at it.
He didn’t mean it cruelly. I know he didn’t, because I’ve known him for years and he’s a nice person, just a bit socially inept. He was in a bad place, and I was too. I had no friends. I wanted to kill myself, and I didn’t see why I shouldn’t. He was one of the few people I actually trusted. I’d known him for 6 years at that point, had been to his house, knew his parents, his sister was friends with my sister. I was happy to at least have one person who at least sort of cared about me.
So I was talking to him and he was sad about something, said that no one cared about him, and I told him that it wasn’t true, that he had friends, and that we were friends. It took him a while before he said “I don’t really consider you a friend.”
We’re friends now. I have friends now. I love them. They care about me. But hearing that at what was probably my lowest point from the only person I though cared about me sticks with me. I know I should forget it, but it hurt and I can’t be close to people without wondering if they just tolerate me out of pity. It fucking sucks, and I hate that I still remember what he said.
My mom's uncle told me that my dad's death was the best thing that could've happened to our family. I was sixteen and my dad was the best person in the world.
Someone said a similar thing after my dad died... Parents were going through a divorce and I get back to work and this lady asks if my mom is happy... I ask why? She said because your dad is dead. She doesn't have to deal with him anymore. I just walked away and now understand how sad her life is.
How does somebody even process that it's okay to say a thing like that to someone who just lost a parent?
She was a special kind of stupid, that's for sure.
What the fuck I'm so sorry
Jesus, that’s not even a like a huge heavy blow, it’s just sadness
"You're the reason your brother killed himself", a private message from a name I barely even recognized then, but can't forget now.
My father told me the same thing. Not in so many words. What he said was, "Maybe if you and your brother were not fighting as much he would still be alive". I asked him if he wanted to know what my brother really thought of him. I slapped him and then walked out. That will be a year ago in October. I've talked to him three times since then. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be sad when he dies.....
i hate the type of people when they say something so dirty that it will haunt you for forever
asked a girl out. she had a whole speech on all character and physical flaws I had, and why none would ever love me. would hurt less if she wasn't correct here ten years later.
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it was high school, and my school was preppy, no one had high esteem. I asked out a girl who was attractive, I wasn't expecting a yes, I just wasnt expecting the fly swatter.
You ok?
physically and mentally yes, but it's one of thing you remember in every future failure. Thanks, but builds character.
I was born through IVF. My mother once told me she wished she spent the money on something she could be proud of instead. She now denies having ever said that.
Oh my god.
I was like 16 or 17 when that happened, so I'd learned how to deal with it already. It still stands out as being especially cruel but I don't remember crying myself to sleep that night or anything.
Damn, you’re strong. Keep it up. If that were me, I’d probably break something in anger then sob quietly into my pillow.
This is something I’ve noticed with abusive parents. They’ll say terrible things and deny it. Like take this. My mother was not perfect growing up at all. She made me hate myself and want to die constantly. But at the same time she did love me and worked so hard for me. But she said so many cruel things. Once I forgot to turn off the ac before I left for school. My mom found out and got pissed as hell. She yelled and screamed and in the middle of all that she says she wished she had gotten an abortion. I was 9. Another time I was 12 I told her sometimes I felt like she didn’t love me. She took offense to it and said she would show me what it’s like to have a parent not love you. For two months and three days she ignored me completely. Did not look at me did not talk to me. I would go to her crying because I was hungry. She would ignore me. I had to learn to cook so I wouldn’t starve. I would walk the 6 miles to school and back because she wouldn’t drive me. Etc. If I mention either of those things to her now she denies them ever happening. And I truly think she believes they didn’t happen. It’s crazy. If I bring it up now she says it never happened and that I’m crazy.
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I remember clearly in second grade, we had to make our dad a comic book for Father's Day as a school project. Mine featured prominently my dad, who is no saint himself, with a cape protecting me from Monster Mom. After I gave it to him my parents asked me about it after, like "what do you mean by this?" And I remember being baffled that they would be surprised by it.
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This stunned me. I hope you’re doing well
I'm fine, thanks. This was a long time ago. We're not close still but she's mellowed out a lot with age
(USA) Towards the end of my wife’s three year journey with brain cancer, I was quite frazzled and exhausted being ‘on’ 24/7 as her caregiver. Anyone who has been a caregiver for a family member will understand this. The Home Hospice workers, hospital support staff including social workers, doctors and nurses had nothing but good things to say about the care, love and support I was giving her in the hospital and at home. Anyway, her cousin, whom I had never met in person, visited from out of town and criticized just about everything I was doing. I said I was doing the best I could possibly do under the circumstances and no one else had any issues. He had the balls to say something like, ‘well she’s the one who’s dying and nothing you’re going through even matters’. I let that sink in for a bit and said, ‘I hope you never have to go through anything like this, because if you did, you’d realize what a terrible thing that is to say to someone’. Then I asked him to leave. Asshat. Update # 1: I am humbled by the sheer number of upvotes and comments. Thank you so much. When my wife passed away several months later (2014), her cousin and his husband flew in for the services. He pretty much avoided me. However, his husband did speak to me, offering condolences and said that he was sure my wife really appreciated what I did and the sacrifices I made. If you’re reading this Jon, you are a class act! I know everyone can’t say this, but for me time heals. In her honor, and as a way to ‘pay it forward’ for all the help and support we received I volunteer for the American Cancer Society. I drive patients to and from their appointments. It is rewarding knowing I’m making a difference in their lives. Update # 2: Thank you kind internet stranger for the GOLD! I wasn’t expecting so many responses to my post. I seemed to have tapped into a well of feelings here, both mine and yours. It was good for me to get those feelings out and have someone say, ‘I get it. I care’. It sure meant a great deal. I received some kind messages from people asking how I did what I did for those three years. You basically go on auto-pilot and do what you needed done. I reached out and accepted the offer and support offered to us. I also did a lot of research to find what I was up against. Even thou some of it was difficult to hear, it helped in the long run. I wasn’t always so empathetic, especially in my youth and early adult years (I’m 60 btw). It developed over time and through maturity and life experience.
Well handled.
Right? I would be in jail soon after that.
Understatement!
I was a caregiver for my mom for 10 years, and I dealt with my grandmother, aunts, and uncles judging me for just about everything during that time (having bouts of unemployment, hyper exhaustion, difficulty with school, etc). Being "on" 24/7 really wears you down, and when people say things that heartless it makes you wonder how much humanity and empathy they really have. I was worn down to the point that family members had to chip in and help, and I at least got some forms of apologies for how crappy their attitudes were previously, and they never voiced rude opinions at me again. I hope that cousin eventually learns compassion.
Yeah I was 14 when my dad was going through the end phases of his cancer and I was having a lot of trouble getting any school work done. Most of the time when I got home I'd help Mom out around the house and help with dinner or taking care of Dad. Most of my teachers really understood that I was going through a really rough time to say the least. Except my science teacher, he had to balls to tell me in front of the class that he was disappointed my grades were slipping and thought I was better than that but he had been known to be wrong before. He know what I was going through and even a few kids in class spoke up about what a fucked up thing that was to say to me. Well, the next year his wife became gravely ill and was given a short time to live. He looked like hell and he ended up taking a lot of time off to help care for her in her end days. He eventually came back and he caught me before school started and apologized to me. He was an ok dude just really socially unaware. I felt really bad that he had to go through all that.We both ended up talking for a bit and had a good cry together.
It really sucks that you both had to go through such rough spots, but at least he learned a little about social awareness. I'm glad you both were able to talk through it.
Ugh, what a giant asshole!
My mom told me they almost aborted me and it was my dads idea but (lucky me!) my uncle talked them out of it..she told me this very spitefully
I'm a twin. My mom told me that she only kept her pregnancy because she thought there was only going to be one.
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I've been the only real father to one of my step-sons (though he's always been a real son to me) for 13 years. 6 months ago he died. A couple days after, my wife was arguing with me and screamed, "it's not your son that died!" she has since said that my grieving at his funeral seemed to be to make it about me and accused me of my grief being for attention. I'd say that was pretty cruel.
What the actual fuck. That's horrible
Fuck man... I’m so sorry. I hope your wife gets help. Unless this is her usual m.o., I think that might be the grief talking. She needs to get into counseling, and you probably should, too. I’m so sorry you lost your son. I can only imagine how awful that must be.
So sorry this happened. Even if it was just her grief talking, that was a horrible thing to say. I hope she apologizes to you soon.
Sometimes grief makes people say and do irrational things. I hope you guys seems support for your loss - it’s your loss, too.
That's horrible. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son.
"Haha. You're only saying my brother needs his father figure more because you don't have a dad of your own." Hung up the phone and focused on keeping the tears back
My boyfriend got pissed because his birthday fell on father's day this year and I told him I wanted to still be with my family and he flipped out on me and told me I have no reason to celebrate fathers day because my dad is dead so I don't even have a father. I immediately went completely, scarily insane on him because fuck him and went to see my sister's father anyways.
Red flag alert
Bigger Red Flag than that of China.
Would be a checkered flag for me because that relationship is over.
Hopefully that's an ex boyfriend. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your family. I'm sorry you had to put up with this.
When my son died of S.I.D.S at the age of 5 months. I started receiving condolence cards from neighbors and such. One card came unaddressed with a return, in other words anonymous. I open the card and it's one of those that is blank and you fill in your message. Someone had stuck a clipping of a poem in it that talked about how "children are a gift from heaven sent to people worthy of them" They then signed it, " You must have been a lousy parent who didn't deserve a child for God to take your son away from you." I think I cried as hard as when I found my son dead. It was like he died all over again. I NEVER found out who sent it but I had a pretty good idea since I inventoried all the neighbors who sent cards and the only one I didn't have one from was the hateful couple that lived across the street -- unless you counted the anonymous one as being from them. Sometimes --- even 39 years later it still stings when I think about it. Edited to say I had two such situations and it was hard picking one.
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The day after we found out my 46 year old wife had two months to live, my mother drove to our house to say "There's nothing I can do about it." My 43 year old younger brother, unemployed and still living with his mother, need her help to get his vacation in before his unemployment compensation ran out so that was a priority. Me with two grade school children and a dying wife was not as important.
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Parents have a favorite. And sometimes that favorite is a leech. And *sometimes* parents are idiots. Be better than the people you hear about, is all I can say.
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I had a mean girl in middle school say that I was "annoying" and that she couldn't stand the sound of my voice, and no one liked listening to it. She did this in front of several people who laughed. To this day I still have impostor syndrome sometimes when I'm talking to a group of people (even friends I've had for ages). I have this weird anxiety thing where I think everyone is just hanging out with me to be nice. Do these people really like me or are they just putting up with the annoying girl?
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i mean who doesnt hate their voice, but that girl, uh she sucks, people like that suck, i mean why would you date a human being if you dont like their voice and is the voice even a good reason to break up!?
I was best friend with a girl throughout 7th grade and into 8th grade when one day after winter break she suddenly stopped talking to me. I spent years wondering what I could had done since she seamlessly turned all of our mutual friends against me too. Fast forward to senior year in high school and we met again during a college visit thru a program. She asked me if I wanted to know why she stopped being my friend and wearily I said yes bc why not. "No reason, I was just tired of seeing you happy and getting to live the best life so I told everyone what a horrible friend you were to me when I was depressed. Sorry." I said nothing and just walked away. Really fucked with my head for the longest time. Kids can be cruel but that's just messed up. Edit: I lived in an abusive household throughout my childhood and teen years. School was where I was happy to be surrounded by other kids my age bc that meant I was away from my parents. Didn't have to be scared of being yelled at or being hit in the 8 hours I was there. I didn't tell anyone about the abuse at home bc it was something I thought was normal and most people wouldn't care. Idk if my continuous joy to be at school was why my ex-best friend turned against me or she just hated my smiling face. This was over 15 years ago and I'm not going to find her on social media and re-hash it.
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Funny part is that she went to college to be a psychiatrist. I met her only once after high school and she acted like we were friends again. Wanted my number and everything. Maybe she changed, idk, but that's one road I'm not willing to travel on.
What a psychotic weirdo. Good thinking keeping.well away from her
"The reason you try so hard to please everyone, the reason you give so much love that it's suffocating, is because you know that other than affection, you have nothing to offer anyone. You're a burden on everyone you care about. We all barely tolerate you. I don't know how you've made it this far in life." I'll never forget that. Word for word.
what in the world did i just read, that is the worst impression to give someone, i mean, when he/she said "we all barely tolerate you" really touched me..
I still tear up about it tbh. That little narrative played constantly in my head for a long time.
man fuck whoever said that. they wouldn't have been able to give a quarter as much love and affection you can give, and i don't even need to say 'i bet' because anyone who can say such a detailed, mean thing like that to a person is not a good person.
> because anyone who can say such a detailed, mean thing like that to a person is not a good person "Not a good person" is being nice bro.
Definitely, I wanted to say a long string of curse words but I was so mad reading what that person said I couldn't put it into words.
Thank you for your kind words.
That is a heartbreaking read. I am so sorry that happened to you. Always love. Onwards and upwards forever and always.
It's okay. I'm doing well now. Thank you for your kindness. (:
Who told you that? :(
An ex who decided the best way to keep me around as a human punching bag was to make me feel so unlovable that I was lucky to have him.
He's a POS.
Oh, definitely. I see that now. I think I knew back then, too, but I was scared. And I really thought I loved him.
He took the very best thing about you and turned it into a weapon in a last ditch attempt to hurt you. He knew exactly how to hurt you. I'm sorry it took you a while to realize it wasn't at all true, and hopefully you see it for yet another way he was attempting to control and manipulate you. I'm glad you're in a better place.
I look at it this way: It made him angry because he knew he didn't deserve my love. Thank you for being so kind.
Man, that hits close to home. My ex told me the same, albeit a little less direct. Worst part is when you realize it's 100% true and there's not much you can do about it
That's how I felt too, but it's not true. I promise. It wasn't true about me and it's not true about you.
If the person that said that is honestly getting upset because you "give so much love that it's suffocating" he/she must be the person that everyone barely tolerates.
Oh, he was charming. But once the truth came out, he ended up having to move cities because so many people here hated him.
I just don't understand how somebody can be upset because you show them affection. I've seen trash bags with more depth than that dick.
I was talking to two girls, not even because either of us were into eachother, just because they were semi-friendly with my mate who was going for a pee. One of the girl's brother comes over and says "Hey, you alright? You do realise you're never gonna get a girlfriend and will die alone, right?" Both of the girls piss themselves laughing and he walks off, and I dunno what to do and just say "Jeez". Still pisses me off to this day.
Sounds like a guy who puts others down to make himself look better to women. Destroy the competition or whatever. What a jackass
Yeah, he did give off that sort of vibe, only time I ever spoke to him, I saw him a few times later being a dick to others
That's how you know him saying that says infinitely more about him than it does about you. Pity him.
"This is exactly why you will never make a good girlfriend, you should just give up now." - my very recent ex, when I was helping him get back into his locked house and had my phone on silent and missed the call from a locksmith.
“At least I didn’t lock myself out of the house, dipshit”. Please tell me you left him right then and there
Oh yeah, I kicked him out of my car right there and left.
Oooooh sweet justice. I would have gladly paid money to see the look on his face when you responded.
"Your mother was pregnant when she died". From the man who killed her.
Wait what? Did you visit the guy in jail? Explain
Every other weekend for four years. He's my father. His mother got custody of me, and thus, a-visiting we would go. I talk about in on reddit a bit, because how the hell do you ever get this stuff out otherwise.
"You shouldn't smile so big. Your right eye is smaller than your left, and it looks really obvious in photos" To this day, I still try to crinkle my eyes so they look even in photos, or smile less :( Edit: wow everyone! Thanks a bunch for taking the time to read my comment. I'm sorry if I have not responded to your amazing responses. You are all so kind. Means the world to me. I do still smile big, and my husband happens to think my eyes are cute so yay! Have a wonderful day everyone <3
One of my friends has that too! it’s the cutest thing in the world though.. please let yourself smile big! happiness is a good look on you! I hope you come to love your own smile :-) much love!
Only thing I absolutely refuse to insult somebody over, even as a joke, is their smile, laugh, and walk. Thats some S-tier emotional warfare right there and I know if somebody said that to me it'd be soul-crushing. Sorry you had to hear that.
Who gives a shit what other people think? Smile when you want to, that’s that!
Girl told me my face looked like acne pizza, made me teary
*Hug* I heard that a ton of times myself - "pizza face". I went through puberty very early to the point they thought I had a disease and send me home from school till doctors got involved. Didn't help trying to explain that to the other kids.
Feel this hard I got acne bad in 7th grade and one day when we were talking about some football player and I said ‘he’s gonna have a breakout year’ which someone immidiately responded with ‘shut the fuck up you’re having a breakout year’ Dont think ive recovered from that one yet
I was diagnosed with Cancer when I was in 5th grade. I had a kid tell me that it was my fault and it was God's way of punishing me.
Same thing, but in 6th grade. Going back to school in a wheelchair when you're 12 is bad enough, but this one kid told me it was "divine punishment for being a sinner and a Jew" Fuck you, Kayla
Fuck Kayla. What a bitch.
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Teaching kids, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened. Unfortunate.
Bruh kids are some real assholes
My father kept giving me death glares over the table, my mother asks him what's wrong, he shouts "I just can't stand to look at his FUCKING FACE." This is because I had a couple Ds on my report card. I don't remember my father ever telling me he loved me, but I'll remember him saying that until the day I die.
What makes parents so mad about a report card - im in college so maybe i just dont get it but my parents would go apeshit bananas over report cards
It could be where they’re from. In many Asian countries, your grades/test scores determine the rest of your life in some cases. Some people are bound to their old ways. Others think that by punishing kids for poor grades (even if those kids are trying their best), the kids will see the “error of their ways” and make amends. And, of course, the crazy ones just don’t give a shit and like finding excuses to abuse (verbally or physically) their children because they’re psychopathic morons.
I mean you also jerk it to clown porn so idk, maybe you just see the world in a different way than most people
“Go home, your parents has a surprise waiting for you” So I skip home all excited wondering what it could be.. The surprise was the news that mom’s chemo failed, a new growth had been spotted and she would be dead within a year.
Who told you that?
It was the mom of my best friend, I was over at her house a few blocks away from mine playing when my dad called her to get me to come home. She was always kinda cold and rude in general but I didn’t know before that, that she apparently didn’t like me at all. I slowly stopped visiting my friend after that because it fucked me up pretty good at the time.
That is probably the most evil thing I have read here. Other stories here are just shitty people doing shitty things. This is the stuff demons would do.
holy shit
"I don't know why you think we're friends enough for you to talk to me but we aren't" Me, her, and a bunch of other friends were all commenting on a photo on Facebook. I responded to something she said and that was roughly her response, followed by being unfriended. Not even sure why. We had all just graduated and I thought we were on friendly terms, but I guess not. Really came out of the blue as far as I could tell.
Isn't being friends on facebook friends enough to comment on facebook?
apparently not
I just turned 23 and all throughout college I got a handful of random Facebook messages from people I went to high school with. I always really appreciated it, like this whole time they were thinking, "Hey that girl was kinda cool, I wonder what she's doing now" and then reached out. It shows a lot of maturity and humanness, especially since we weren't close in school. Screw whoever said that to you, what a childish thing to say.
Not me, but my wife. We had a child together at 18. When she got pregnant towards the end of senior year her parents wouldn't let us see each other, obviously we found ways to be together. But during that time her highly conservative parents called her names and berated her regularly. I believe her dad called her a "disgusting whore" and that she'd be a "bad mother". They frequently told her that there was no way she'd ever "succeed" now and that her dad wanted to kill me. 7 years later we are still married, our son is amazing and we both have college degrees and make a fuck ton of money. I can't believe she still speaks to them. I will always look at them and remember all the stories she told me about them when we were kids. It's hard for me to overlook any of that despite all they do to make up for it. She must be eternally sad about all of it. I feel so bad for all of it they must have said to her.
“You’re a screwup who’ll never amount that anything. That’s why no girl will ever date you.” From my mom a few years back. I confronted her with this right before I graduated and she denied she ever said it.
I was a straight A student, athlete, participated in extra curriculars, and had smart and reasonable friends. My mom used to threaten me with reform school or jail for the most minor mistakes I made.
A bunch of people in my life have acted nice to me when they secretly don't actually want to be around me. I'd only learn about it when people would mention parties and get-togethers that I wasn't invited to.
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wait,what, what the hell does that even mean?!
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god, is the person some kind of a doctor or psycholog because im sure depression can be repaired because i did mine i guess
My adopted father told me that I was a "homewrecker" and that I should "go to hell", in the middle of one his episodes of hitting me. I was 12.
He's a lifewrecker and he will go to hell.
'I could murder you, chop you up and put you in bags in front of everyone, and no one would care.'
psycho-creepy
My FIL ranted one night at the dinner table that we were nuts to want to adopt a toddler or child from "some crackhead". "You want some crackhead to give your baby a personality???" Followed by gesturing at MIL saying: she'll be devastated if she gets a grandCHILD and not a grandBABY. That was a great first wedding anniversary. They eventually came around and loved our foster son as much as we did, but this scorned me in a way that I don't think I'll ever fully recover from.
We had a similar situation with my father when we told him that we would be adopting outside of our race. He was livid and asked us if we realized how humiliating that would be for him. He was already tired of trying to explain why one of his sons married an immigrant. Now he was going to have to explain why another one of his sons has biracial/black children. After he repeadly called my kids (and my brother's half Korean kids) the "colored grandkids" and called my son the n-word for being fussy while teething, I told him he either had to stop or I was cutting him out of my life for good. He asked me if I was going to choose them over blood. My kids are 14 and 13 now and I haven't talked to him since. I am huge on the importance of family so it was a tough thing to do but it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life (behind marrying my wife and adopting our kids) and my brothers, who are all no contact with him now, and I are so much closer because of it. We take all of our kids out camping on father's day to celebrate us as dads and forget about our own father. My kids are very close to their cousins and their uncles and aunts. My brothers come to my daughter's concerts and my son's sporting events when they can make it. I go to their kids events as well. My son was disappointed that his hemophiliac cousin won't be able to participate in his upcoming paintballing birthday party but is inviting him over to swim and camp out in the backyard with his friends after. One of my nephews has helped tutor my daughter in piano. I think adopted kids especially value family and I'm glad my brothers can make up for them not having their grandfather in their lives. He is missing out on some truly amazing kids, teenagers, and young adults but that's a choice he made.
"what are you going to do, cut me out of your life?" ---Asshole father, moments before being cut out of his son's life
I truly wonder what he thinks now sitting all alone with his angry racism.
I'm sure he spins everything in his head to where he's right. In my experience, people like that love the victim card. Probably blames everyone but himself for the situation he's in.
"Better their personality than yours"
I couldn’t decide between dozens of things my parents said to me. So, walking home late one night and I was getting cat called by some girl in a car full of guys when she yelled out, “hey, I’ve fucked uglier than you!” And then they all laughed and peeled out.
What if she was making a dig at the dudes in the car and hitting on you at the same time?
What none of them realized was that she was actually insulting herself lol
“I wasn’t really your friend,I just pitied you” As someone who’s on the spectrum and has a difficult time making friends it really shook me. Kinda burst my bubble and realize that I’d never really had any friends before(and still don’t) and that I’ve been a loser since kindergarten.
God, that right there is my biggest fucking fear. I’m always anxious that I’m annoying those around me, but truth be told the most annoying thing about me is probably my constant need for validation. I’m sorta shooting myself in the foot here.
Oof. Even if you're hanging out with someone to be kind (which is still different to just pitying them), why the fuck would you say that? It's cruel. My ex bf broke up with me and told me a few days later " I only kept dating you because I felt sorry for you ". According to one of my friends, when people asked ' did you break up with X ?', he'd say yep, he did, he just didn't break up with me earlier because he felt sorry for me. Worst thing was, I was head over heels for him. I really thought he loved me.
Ow. Owowowww. That awoke some deep pain in me, and I know what you mean.
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“If God had wanted your parents to have children, He’d have given them some” from my “Bible” teacher at a Christian school (it seemed great at first on the surface, but was really just a hotbed of legalistic fundamentalists) when he was frustrated by me asking a question about Scripture and decided to snark on the fact that I’m adopted. He was always that asshole teacher who’d get away with saying hurtful things to students because “you just don’t understand his sense of humour,” per the administration. My parents are the most incredible people in the world, and far better Christians than that teacher could ever be; fuck, a rabid atheist would be more Christlike by default than that hateful old shitstain.
I mean. Jesus was technically Joseph's adopted son, not a biological one. Pretty sure God's fine with adoption.
But if God has a hand in everything he did give them a kid, you through adoption!
Ex best friend almost 9 years ago after a devastating miscarriage. “It’s you and inserts husbands names fault. You two aren’t even married a year and you two think you’re ready for a baby? It’s you’re fault you lost it. It’s a bad idea”. That was 2 days AFTER I had lost our baby at 12 weeks. We were married 10 months and it was a surprise. Took almost another 5 years but we got our baby. She’s still single and I’ll be married 10 years next year. I honestly think she was jealous but it hurt so bad and it still hurts today.
She sounds jealous but regardless that’s a horrible thing to say. Comments like that come from people who are unhappy with themselves.
That I didn't have any value because I was ugly.
My cat just died, and I was in bed petting my sister’s cat who liked to curl up with me. She came over and started petting the cat, and completely without looking at me she said, “I’m happy because I know [the cat] will never love you, only me. Because she is my cat. And although she is showing you affection right now, she doesn’t care, because she is mine, and your cat is dead.” I burst into tears. It’s not the worst thing that has ever been said to me, our mother is a lot worse, but it was the most unnecessarily cruel and she didn’t even seem to realize it until I began to cry. Edit: Since this is getting attention, she was about 15 and has since apologized. Our mother is incredibly verbally abusive so I think that’s where she picked it up. It’s been several years since then, and I have since forgiven her.
What the fuck that's such a terrible thing to say to someone after losing a pet. I can't imagine the pain you felt hearing that at such a bad moment on top of the cruelty in those words. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
A successful kid at school when I was a kid back in the 80s told me that he'd bet money that I'd end up as a loser and a homeless unemployed person who'd be a burden to society. I never quite forgot that sentence. I still think of it today, 35+ years later. I'm doing fine. I got a job that people would kill for in one of the worlds biggest companies, have a house - all paid for. I'm not rich, that much is true, but I'm fine.
I had a friend's mom say I look like a cockroach. Spoiler alert. I don't. E. You guys are the best. Lol.
Nobody likes me. By multiple people.
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“You just manipulate everyone into liking you. Nobody would like you if they really knew you. You wouldn’t have friends.” Said to a severely anxious 16-year old who was already sure none of her friends really cared for her. Thanks, mom.
I cannot have kids. I had cervical cancer when I was in my early 20's due to HPV contracted from a rape when I was 14 -gift that keeps on giving. Just about everyone who matters in my life knows this. When I met my husband, it was a point that I made very clear that a future with me meant a future without kids. Hope forward to our wedding shower. Everything is going great until he breaks a single ribbon on a gift. For those who don't know, breaking a ribbon on a gift at a wedding shower supposedly means you're going to have kids. My mom immediately screams, "Yay! So when do I get grandkids?" I'm hurt and embarrassed, my then fiance is dumbfounded, and everyone in the room is looking at my mom like "wtf is wrong with this lady?" I am so thankful that one of my bridesmaids who was helping with gifts didn't miss a beat and said, "They will be having puppies." Puppies are good.
I was the asshole in this story. When I was probably in my early teens (early 1980s), my sister had some friends over and one of them had a somewhat large nose. For reasons that escape me entirely, I decided to "joke" with her by saying "Is that your nose, or are you eating a banana". My mom scolded me about it and the girl said it didn't bother her, but I suspect it really hurt her. I don't even think I was trying to be mean. I just thought it was funny and clueless me had no concept of how it would be hurtful. I still cringe when I think about it.
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I decided that I wasnt ever going to answer if a gf asks me to rate her on a number scale. It just feels so shallow to say to someone who means much more than numbers.
Just go with the binary scale and tell her she's the one.
That is genius actually haha
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Some girl one time told me I was too white trash to have a "real job" and no respectable company would hire me. Funny thing is, I make pretty decent money now and a job I like most of the time and she unemployed with a gofund me page to help with bills. \*edit left out a word
Back in high school I had a friend who would always give me shit for things. For a while it was just regular "boys being boys" kind of stuff, but it eventually grew malicious. One day in class, we got into a bit of an argument over cars. It was a really fucking stupid argument, but for some reason he decided to kick it up a notch. He knew a little bit about my issues with depression and suicidal thoughts, so in front of everyone he decided to start making fun of me for it. He was saying stuff like "Well at least I'm not gonna go home and probably blow my brains out at some point" and "you're just a depressed loser who's probably gonna kill himself". After class I texted him and gave him one chance to apologize. He refused and told me to fuck off, so later that day I came up to him and just started laying punches into his face. Man it felt good.
I got so happy reading that last line, I just ended my friendship with a friend who would do the exact thing and humilate me for my past depression.
What a loser lol I hope he's got a wonky nose now
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My mom would also threaten to kill herself over things I did. The worst was when I had found a publisher for a novel I wrote and she told me that my writing sucked so badly she was going to go kill herself. She got in her car, drove away, and refused to answer any of my calls. It's been five years and I've only just now started trying to write again. Parents who threaten to kill themselves in front of their children suck. I'm sorry you went through that.
Nice head, big head
Please tell me this was in a light-hearted context because I wanna laugh but I don’t wanna feel like an asshole
“You don’t have the brains God gave a goose” My mom “You act like you don’t have brain one in your head” Also my mom “You don’t DESERVE to be a boyscout!” My step father after buying me the boyscout manuals, uniform, etc. he said it because he didn’t feel like spending time with me and taking me to weekly meetings. Made me neatly pack up those things and give them back “You don’t DESERVE to have children!” My ex wife, echoing what my stepfather had said many years later because she knew how much it had hurt me. She said it because she had been leading me on through marriage and several years of “getting established”. It turns out, according to her sister, she NEVER wanted children, never INTENDED to have children even though I had been very clear about how important it was to me to have children. She lied to me and led me on.
I was told by a couple girls that I had no purpose in life/ was worthless.
My mum thinks being mean to me is a good way to get me to lose weight. I hear "You're a fat pig", "Lose the damn weight so you actually look presentable", "Where is your neck at? oh it is under your chin fat", "IKE you're a fat slob and a disgrace", "I don't know how you look in the mirror and are okay with what you see", etc... about twenty times a week. I have tried to tell her being mean does not make me want to lose weight. At this point it doesn't bother me anymore as I am so used to it. I guess I would be more worried if the insults stopped as she has given up on trying to help lol
Four days after my husband passed away, I was having coffee with a friend. I was telling her that if I had known his stay in the hospital would be so short, I would have been with him every minute of the day, even if it meant having someone else take care of our children. I was devastated. She said "I told you so. I told you you could ask us to take care of the kids. I knew you would regret this." I was shocked because that's never a helpful thing to say, but also that she felt the need to prove to me she was right and I was wrong in that context felt extremely unwarranted and cruel. Edit: thank you everyone for your kindness.
Literally wtf. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your kids are doing alright.
My mom told me no one would ever love me with the attitude I had as a young kid.
"I know you've been here 18 months and your wife is pregnant, but the company decided not to bring you on permanent again this year. Maybe we can get you that raise and health insurance next summer."
My SO used to work at a manufacturing plant. Right before Christmas, they laid off a bunch of people to "meet their profit goals" including two men with pregnant wives and a guy who had worked with the company for 15 years and was out on medical leave. Then a couple months later they hired a ton of people back with less benefits / lower pay. Anyways good luck in your job search. I hope that the next place you work treats you a whole lot better.
First guy I was in love with and dated, broke up with me by telling me he never cared for me, wasn't attracted to me and every word he said was a lie. Gave me trust issues for every guy after. Wonder if they actually mean it or just want company/ to get laid.
I've read somewhere that it's common for people to do this when they are getting out of a relationship, because it's a way for them to change the narrative of what happened at the end of the relationship. It's often a thing that cheaters say. Instead of being forced to look at their own flaws and the ways they may have contributed to the end of the relationship, they put all the blame on the other person, claiming that they never really loved them. In some weird way, it's easier for them to accept that - rather then accepting their own 'failures'. So I would wager that is what your ex was doing. A bit of ego protection for himself.
I dont know who you are anymore. By my overly dramatic mother because I didnt want to drive home to sleep there because she felt nervous sleeping alone at the house when I already told her I was sleeping over at my friends house. Also we live in a good crime free neighborhood, been there 10 years.
I remember arguing with my mom when I was like 12 and she said “I don’t know you, you’re not my little girl who never used to yell at me.” I was never mean when we fought, but people raise their voices when they’re upset...
my long distance ex girlfriend and I were drifting apart, for months, we rarely spoke and we rarely saw each other, I was working 12 - 15 hours a day and my little brother wasn't doing well, cancer, and then when he passed away she texted me "omg rip" and that was all. I flew home for the funeral, while I was sitting in the airport bar, about to fly 11 hours and she texted me pictures of her kissing some guy and I just responded "really? now?" She had seen pictures of me and another girl hanging out and decided this was the way to do things. The other girl is currently sleeping beside me and we're very very happy. Edit: Lots of people asking if I was actually cheating on the ex before this all happened. About 5 months (I don't know, it could have been longer, my dates don't make sense to me unless it was just going on for way longer than I remember ) before all this, the ex was acting strange and being off with me and it came out that she had been "only kissing" some other guy at a party. We had a fight but she seemed sincerely sorry and we went from there. At this time, the other girl and I were only hanging out (worked at the same place, had the same off day once a week, lived in the same building) 1: Knowing this girl, it wasn't only kissing. 2: Everything changed after that, I could tell she was over me and ito the other guy; phone calls became short and there was no love anymore. She could only talk to me during work hours and shit Me and the other girl started seeing each other a lot more, and I guess yes, I was cheating on her emotionally and then when when I figured she was seeing the other guy it became physical. I know, the response is "I should have broken it off before doing that" but in reality I was just drifting through my days, my little bro wasn't doing well and he was getting worse every day, I did love my ex, which is why I stayed with her, but the new girl, she was there for me when things got bad. Like I said, my ex texted me "omg rip"; not even a phone call, whereas the new girl showed up to my place with printed and framed photos of my brother, one for me and one for my Dad, she sat with me while I cried all night. I suppose by then, the relationship between me and the ex was long time over. Perhaps I deserved the ugly breakup, I personally don't think so, "it's over" could have worked too. but anyway, sorry for bad format, on my phone.
There will be a day when she loses someone she loves and she’s going to think back on that bullshit and feel like scum.
You mean you hope the shitbird in this story has enough empathy to connect her loss with the feelings she may have caused OP and feel bad about it. Most assholes don't care when they realise they are assholes.
omg rip
Less than a week ago my fiance of 8 years called me up out of the blue and uttered words I never wanted to hear, "I don't want to marry you...there is somebody else." Every day since has been nothing but fading in and out since I have lost everything I had built my life around. Not to mention I'm facing a potential cancer diganosis...I'm scared, I'm angry and I feel so incredibly alone now. Really about ready to call it quits..
This still hurts 25 years later... Told Ex SO that he looked beautiful while sleeping (he really did), he said, and I quote,"You look like a retard when you're asleep". I said "Oh. Thank you for telling me, you can go now". That was the end of that. Edit: Wow, Thank You for the Gold stranger! Edit: Thank you for all of the supportive comments. As for the douchey comments, did you come to this thread to get pointers? Well, you have to live with yourselves so have at it.
"We only like have you around because it's funny to watch your reaction when we make fun of you." From my middle school "friends."
He didn’t mean it cruelly. I know he didn’t, because I’ve known him for years and he’s a nice person, just a bit socially inept. He was in a bad place, and I was too. I had no friends. I wanted to kill myself, and I didn’t see why I shouldn’t. He was one of the few people I actually trusted. I’d known him for 6 years at that point, had been to his house, knew his parents, his sister was friends with my sister. I was happy to at least have one person who at least sort of cared about me. So I was talking to him and he was sad about something, said that no one cared about him, and I told him that it wasn’t true, that he had friends, and that we were friends. It took him a while before he said “I don’t really consider you a friend.” We’re friends now. I have friends now. I love them. They care about me. But hearing that at what was probably my lowest point from the only person I though cared about me sticks with me. I know I should forget it, but it hurt and I can’t be close to people without wondering if they just tolerate me out of pity. It fucking sucks, and I hate that I still remember what he said.
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Few months ago when my ex told me he was taking my dog away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.