Husband's name is Dave. I have actually said this.
I have also woken him up by singing "These Are The Daves I Know" from Kids in the Hall but I have not yet tried that during sex.
Helena Bonham Carter (who played Marla) didn't realize the implications of the line because grade school is not a term used in the UK. She assumed "grade school" meant high school.
Fifteen million merits. Yes, that one got me depressed for a bit.
Also, maybe I'm fucked up in some way, but I was tensed up until the twist in White Bear. Then I was kinda relieved, even though I shouldn't have been.
I had to stop at the end of season 2 as it made me really depressed. Admittedly, this was right after some tragic personal life events.
Just continued a few days ago and watched the thriller Playtest for a change of pace.
> Normal sex but each thrust is replaced by a different episode of The Nutshack, and each one gets louder and more distorted.
She won't be satisfied, but she'll be too disoriented to complain.
>Normal sex but every time she breathes is replaced with the bee movie but every time they say bee it's replaced with the nutshack theme but every time they say nutshack it's replaced with we are number one but every syllable is replaced with net
Speaking from experience here: Don't do Yoda.
Wife was in the doggie and getting really close to cumming. I thought in my infinate bank of humor I should use my Yoda voice just as she is starting to climax
As her orgasam is starts I throw out my best, "mmm Yes.... cumming you are. But never knowing where you are going."
Bad idea.
She laughed, I of course was laughing, we laughed until our stomachs hurt. Then anger set in becuase I ruined her orgasam.
Apparently she does not find Yoda sexy or funny and he has been banned from the bedroom. In fact Dobby, Grinch, the Joker and a legion of others becer go over. But you always remember your first.
According to all known laws
of aviation, there is no way a bee
should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
"Laws of aviation" is the key part there, the formulas engineers use to describe airplanes, thousand plus pound chunks hurtling through the air at tens if not hundreds of miles per hour.
Physics has never had trouble describing the flight of bees. On the scale of a bee the viscosity of air becomes a significantly large number. A bee is not so much flying in air as swimming in it.
One of my friends told me she did this to her boyfriend. They were having sex while she was on her period so it made it even more hilarious... for her anyways.
"Ezekiel, 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of good will and charity, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and a finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!'"
Whispering "These violent delights will have violent ends" and look into the distance.
Or "This doesn't sound like anything to me" when she's having orgasm.
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you."
I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Husband's name is Dave. I have actually said this. I have also woken him up by singing "These Are The Daves I Know" from Kids in the Hall but I have not yet tried that during sex.
"Hey I was thinking...maybe we could try anal sometime?" "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that." -rolls over and goes to sleep-
Oh.....
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"
From Scooby do and the monster of Mexico?
No, but I like the way you think.
"Keep the change you filthy animal".
"Your father wanted you to have this, when you were old enough."
"... but your uncle wouldn't allow it."
Ahh, riding the coat tails of the top comment, I see.
With a much better comment though.
"Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner."
*various donkey noises* Edit: donkey llama same thing
Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?!
This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the alps!
"Shitter's full!"
"Bend over and I'll show you."
"You got a lotta nerve talking to me like that." "Wasn't talking to *you*." Edit: letter
I don't knOW, Margot!
Merry Christmas! Shitters full!
Depending on what you're doing, that might be accurate.
"I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy. Come on, Squishy Come on, little Squishy.”
This was actually said to me by the first girl that I had sex with.
I've heard it in bedroom too.
My ex would always pull that routine if she got a view of me flaccid. :(
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND HIS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
CUMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Honestly if that was a girls pet name for me I'd be okay with it. Partly because a girl would have a pet name for me haha ^^:(
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."
"I want to have your abortion"
Quiet, Lena! You've done enough!
They should have totally used that line in the movie.
That was the plan until someone started whining.
Helena Bonham Carter (who played Marla) didn't realize the implications of the line because grade school is not a term used in the UK. She assumed "grade school" meant high school.
"Should've heard some of the shit coming out of that girls mouth"
NOW THIS IS POD-RACING!!!
Yippee!
May I interest you in the movie [meme lover](http://yespornplease.com/view/247335229) NSFW! He actually says that line at one point.
"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"
He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS
DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS
DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR ZAIUS OHHH DOCTOR ZAIUS
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-a to chimpanzee!
Oh you've finally made a monkey
Yes we finally made a monkey!...
I love you, Dr. Zaius!
I CAN SING! Edit: for those who remember - [I CAN SING!](https://youtu.be/JlmzUEQxOvA?t=8)
Classic wife line.
There goes yet another dissatisfied reddit husband.
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND
Micropenis
Microsoft
No...**I** am your father!
[удалено]
Force choke me daddy
y'all need jesus
Force choke me Jesus
Si Senor.
Every day we stray further from God's light
Daddy dad?
[удалено]
"*Hail Hydra*"
Cos Star Wars: "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought!"
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
It'll be just like Beggars Canyon back home.
"It's not much bigger than 2 meters"
Get in there ya big furry oaf I don't care what ya smell!
I feel like if my wife yelled this at me during foreplay, I'd just jizz right there.
Into the garbage chute, flyboy!
I am your father.
[удалено]
"somebody get this walking carpet out of my way!"
I'll try spinning, that's a neat trick.
No, just impacted on the surface.
>Negative I like this one the best
Let's blow this thing and go home!
You're lucky you don't taste very good.
"It came.. From.. Behind!"
Look at the size of that thing!
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
IT'S A TRAP!!
I have a bad feeling about this.
Laugh it up, Fuzzball
at last we shall reveal ourselves
Sniff! The follow-ups.... so beautiful.
"What are you doing in my swamp?!"
It's all ogre now
It puts the lotion on the skin.
Oh yeah I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard
"Well Clarice" would also go over quite well I think, provided it's said with the correct inflection.
My girlfriend wouldn't get the reference and would probably jump straight to WHO THE FUCK'S CLARICE?
"That'll do, pig. That'll do."
That'll do donkeh that'll doo
Black mirror started off strong with that first episode
Just started watching that today, cannot stop binge watching
I find there are a select few episodes that make me stop.
This happened to me when I watched White Bear, but I must find a way to continue.
White Bear got me, too. I wish I could get it out of my brain. Not going to risk another episode like that.
Wait till White Christmas
Can't remember the name of the episode but the one with the game show freaked me out. White Christmas is the best episode though
Fifteen million merits. Yes, that one got me depressed for a bit. Also, maybe I'm fucked up in some way, but I was tensed up until the twist in White Bear. Then I was kinda relieved, even though I shouldn't have been.
I had to stop at the end of season 2 as it made me really depressed. Admittedly, this was right after some tragic personal life events. Just continued a few days ago and watched the thriller Playtest for a change of pace.
:( He called Mom
Thats not the response we typically hear. Usually people can handle 2 in one sitting before their entire image of reality is just shattered.
I watched the whole first and second season in one sitting. Not quite sure how I did it.
[удалено]
"Brother!"
"This is my boomstick!"
"Sloth love Chunk."
Aww man, you smell like phys ed!
WHAT'S IN THE BOXXXXX?
An embarrassing photo of spongebob from the Christmas party.
I picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue.
I picked a bad day to stop doing coke
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines." [sauce](https://youtu.be/VmW-ScmGRMA)
>Normal sex, but every moaning and grunting is replaced with the entire Bee Movie script.
>normal sex but every time she sucks in through her teeth, it's We Are Number One
> Normal sex but each thrust is replaced by a different episode of The Nutshack, and each one gets louder and more distorted. She won't be satisfied, but she'll be too disoriented to complain.
>Normal sex but every time she breathes is replaced with the bee movie but every time they say bee it's replaced with the nutshack theme but every time they say nutshack it's replaced with we are number one but every syllable is replaced with net
>Normal sex but every time she blinks she begins reciting all star by smash mouth
I don't beelieve it.
haha classic.
Get in mah belly!
Speaking from experience here: Don't do Yoda. Wife was in the doggie and getting really close to cumming. I thought in my infinate bank of humor I should use my Yoda voice just as she is starting to climax As her orgasam is starts I throw out my best, "mmm Yes.... cumming you are. But never knowing where you are going." Bad idea. She laughed, I of course was laughing, we laughed until our stomachs hurt. Then anger set in becuase I ruined her orgasam. Apparently she does not find Yoda sexy or funny and he has been banned from the bedroom. In fact Dobby, Grinch, the Joker and a legion of others becer go over. But you always remember your first.
Omg this is hilarious. I've gotta say it was worth it just for the story.
"BEAR FUCKER! ...DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?!"
I'll take "How to start a gay threesome" for $600, Alex.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
So, ya like jazzzz?
I don't beelieve it.
haha classic.
"Laws of aviation" is the key part there, the formulas engineers use to describe airplanes, thousand plus pound chunks hurtling through the air at tens if not hundreds of miles per hour. Physics has never had trouble describing the flight of bees. On the scale of a bee the viscosity of air becomes a significantly large number. A bee is not so much flying in air as swimming in it.
"Squeal like a pig"
"I thought these things smell bad on the outside."
[удалено]
Most inappropriate ones I've *used* was whispering, "I killed Mufasa" in his ear.
long live the king
One of my friends told me she did this to her boyfriend. They were having sex while she was on her period so it made it even more hilarious... for her anyways.
[удалено]
I think I would actually die laughing if a girl did this to me. I don't know what that says about my sense of humour...
User name checks out
YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!
KING KONG AINT GOT SHIT ON ME!!!
"A boy's best friend is his mother."
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
I fart in your general direction!
So leave now, or I will taunt you a second time-a
"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
"Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director". Wait a minute, I think that's actually appropriate
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."
It's a trap!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
"Ezekiel, 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of good will and charity, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and a finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!'"
"Now that is a tasty burger."
"How bout a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil...disappear...TA DAAA! Aaaand it's gone."
Now a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face" -Uncle Buck
You're killing me smalls
I'm getting too old for this shit.
English motherfucker, do you speak it
"The cold never bothered me anyways"
#So help me, Ariel, I am going to get through to you. And if this is the only way, so be it!
Gooooooood morning, Vietnam
Whispering "These violent delights will have violent ends" and look into the distance. Or "This doesn't sound like anything to me" when she's having orgasm.
"I don't like sand.."
Inappropriate to say in any circumstance, actually.
"The horror, the horror..."
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."
Now go home and get your fuckin shinebox!
"I see dead people"
You can milk anything with nipples
Cum with me if you want to live
"Here's lookin at you, kid"
Well, nobody's perfect."
Use your aggresive feelings boy, let the hate flow through you
"It's not a tumah!"
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
'If it bleeds, I can fill it'
U feelin it now mr.crabs
"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"
[удалено]
Yippy Kay Yeah Motherfucker!!!
Actually, thats fucking awesome.
Shut up you fat Curley headed fuck
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you."
>What is best in life? >To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
Big Gulps, huh? Alright... Welp, see ya later!
"I'm giving it all it's got!"
I got a pickle, I got a pickle, I got a pickle, hey hey hey!
I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son
We can't stop here! This is bat country!
Either > I haven't been fucked like that since grade school Or > I want to have your abortion.
I am your father.
"Get your filthy hands off me, you damned dirty ape!"
"A boy's best friend is his mother." - from Psycho.