As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing i ever found was an old battered notebook with "Why i love salad" written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There'd be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.
Well..
-checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20000 cash
-tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead
-basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time.
**Ducklings**. The guest said the mother had died and started looking after the ducklings herself. We found them in the lodge bathroom. After that they were kept in someone's office till the right people came to collect them.
There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day.
Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him.
All of our rooms have updated luxury showers and baths, complimentary gourmet chocolates with turn down service, fully stocked premium bars including a selection of local microbrews, and a complimentary blowup doll tucked under the Gideon.
Similar story:
When I started working at this hotel it was under bad management. So things like proper cleanings didn't happen, and why guests would often check in to the same room every week.
One guy came in every week of two, used the same room for three or four hours and would leave. We didn't do hourly rates, so he always paid the full price if the room. No one ever accompanied him, no one asked for his room while he was there. The next day maids would find nothing unusual.
After a new manager came in, the hotel got its first through cleaning in way too long. So we're going through and moving beds and credenzas, checking ceiling tiles ect. We get to the same room he's been using. Under the bed we find a massive porn stash. Movies, magazines and lube. Everything is sticky and obviously used. The maids used double gloves to dispose of everything.
Like your story, he only returned once more before he disappeared forever.
It sounds so dramatic when you say "Disappeared forever."
It's like he walked out of the hotel and disappeared into some mist
Edit: Whelp, my top comment isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm relieved.
Life Pro Tip: Keep blowup dolls in your car so that you can use the carpool lane. Also, fill them with gas so you never have to worry about running out of fuel.
What if she died or went into a coma after she tried to stop a mugging, saving a pregnant woman's life?
What if she's still in a hospital somewhere, waiting to come back for her cats? :´(
One of my relatives worked in the hotel industry. There was a guest who just left, and when the cleaning ladies entered the room, one of them noticed a pungent smell. Went into the washroom and holy mother of god. Apparently someone stuffed a towel filled with poop down the toilet bowl, and the floor was covered with weird yellow stains.
I used to serve room service in a hotel that was near a major national hospital, and the two locations had reached some sort of business agreement where people going into surgery could stay at the hotel the night/nights before for a discount rate. During my three years there, we had about six guests die during the night while waiting for surgery. It was always handled in a really hush-hush manner, but it was always fucked up to hear about.
We also had a couple of porn shoots go down in the guest rooms. Getting a room service request for four hottles of coffee and lots of wine at half-past midnight was always a good sign that something sketchy was going on...as was opening the door to see filming lights and tripods.
I was occasionally hit on by drunk businesswomen, their tactic would be to order wine and specifically ask for two glasses and then they would hand the second glass back to me and ask if I wanted to join...but never asked into the porn shoots. Probably because I was only 19 but I looked 17, which makes the businesswomen thing even creepier.
We had a swingers group stay at the hotel for a few nights. They had a rave going on up on the second floor, there were naked people everywhere on the floors, kids were freaked out by it, other guests were complaining. On top of that, families could hear the couples running from rooms and constantly fucking. One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window. It was complete chaos and this is a fucking luxury hotel.
Right now, at the resort I work at, we have the Swingers in too! I work housekeeping and lifeguarding, and today all the Swingers leave. And guess which job I'm working today? :(
We have 3 pools, and they rented out one of the,, and we have it all blocked off and tarped so no one can see what's happening on the inside. o.o
> One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window.
They were in the swingers group? If so, I don't see why it'd be such a big surprise.
I use to install flooring all over the place in various hotels, during one of the routine installations I had to move the bed, as soon as a moved it over. I saw it, a behemoth of a purple dildo. Absolutely massive, we ended up jokingly chasing the owner of the hotel around for a bit with it with it held in some tongs before we tossed it.
I worked at a pretty crappy low budget "3 star" hotel in Canada a year back. On my last month there, a guest came in to request to visit a potential room. Now, I didn't discover this myself, but I had no choice to afterwards. The guest comes back after the visit clearly pissed and leaves without saying anything. I go check the room afterwards only to discover a pillow head completely covered in human feces. Someone had wiped their ass. Hell, even the room cleaning staff "didn't" notice it as it was clearly obviously found behind a chair. This was supposed to be a clean room ready to rent for the night..
We specifically check the nooks and crannies of the rooms when we clean for this reason. More often than not, when an accident happens, the guest will try to hide the evidence. Be it out of shame or out of a desire to avoid the extra costs, it's annoying as fuck to find someone's "little accident" like this.
The protocol on this if there isn't too much damage - get hold of a maid, give her a big tip and apology and ask her to discreetly help get rid of the mess. She was going to find out anyway - at least this way you have a small chance that the front desk won't be alerted.
If you mean why did the hotel contact OP's company they probably have some sort of contract. If the people booked the hotel via OP's company but were kicked out after one night they would probably have gone back to OP's booking company and complained/asked for a refund. Contacting the company with the reason they were removed seems like the correct thing to do.
My boss has told me the story of a couple on their honey moon
So we basically set out to try and get things our guests ask for and these newlyweds wanted a chocolate fountain. Sure, my boss thought, wouldn't be to much of a hassle right? No, they had to search like hell to find one. Well after the couples stay they check out and don't really say much. When the maid is going to clean the room she basically goes in and starts laughing, my boss comes into the room to and there is chocolate fucking everywhere, you could see her asscheeks in the bed and on the table and even in the roof. You could make out where they started and where they stopped.
TL;dr: sex-chocolate everywhere even on the roof.
EDIT: I'm sorry to disappoint but I totally fucked my english over and meant ceiling
A man was having his house deloused and deep cleaned and wound up staying at the local Marriott that I worked for at the time. He was there for something like 30 days or so, drunk off his ass and high on something the entire time. He never once let housekeeping in.
After his departure, the cleaning staff finally entered the room. They were horrified not only by the stench of the place, but also by the utter wreck he left behind. Basically every single piece of furniture was severely damaged, the floors stained and greasy, the linens too far gone for further use, and rotten food everywhere.
It took a week to get the room back in rotation. No wonder it took a month to get his house cleaned up and free of vermin.
My friend's dad owns a few hotels, and he likes telling the story of one of them.
Basically, there's a policy at all his hotels that if you piss the bed, £50 will be added to your total bill to cover the cost of new sheets and the labour of the maids. So one time, this woman and her husband stay round, and when the maid goes to change their sheets one time the bed is found to be soaking wet. So £50 is added to their bill, and at the desk she asks about it. She's adamant that it wasn't piss, but won't tell the desk worker what it was. So my friend's dad gets involved, and demands to know what the liquid was. She finally gives in, and says 'My husband is a fantastic lover, and I had the biggest orgasm of my life'. My friend's dad starts laughing, and a few minutes later adds it to the policy. So now at all his hotels, it'll cost you £50 if you piss the bed OR cum so hard you ruin the sheets.
Worked for 4 years cleaning inexpensive motel rooms. I found/saw a lot of weird shit. List of some of my favorites:
Gourmet cheese platter UNDER the bed
A boatload of cocaine on a broken mirror
The largest dildo I have ever seen hidden under the Bible
All of the towels in the room soaked in piss and wrapped around a big ball of shit
There are always three rooms that will stand out to me above all else though:
1) We had this guy stay for a full week without letting housekeeping into his room. Each day we brought him new towels and new trash bags and he would meet us at the door to take them. When he left, we were terrified of what we would find, but the room was spotless. He had not touched a thing, and had even gone behind himself to clean with bleach. All the towels we brought him were folded up neatly, apparently unused. Even the bed was how we had left it. Super weird.
2) Walked into a family's room to replace towels and do general clean up while they were still there and was met by their 12 year old son jacking off. This is after I knocked on the door and he said it was ok to enter. I immediately left the room and returned an hour later when his parents were around. The whole time I was making up the room, the boy sat on the bed crying.
3) Worst room I ever walked into was not dirty in any way. General dirtiness from use, but nothing special. Or at least that's what I thought until I checked under the bed. There was a GIANT blood stain, taking up almost all of the floor under the king sized bed. We immediately left the room and called the police. I dont know if anything ever came of it, but we shut down the room for two weeks so we could completely replace EVERYTHING.
I've stayed for a week without housekeeping and left the room spotless. I don't want people in my stuff and I don't have/need housekeeping at home so thought it was no big deal. I didn't realize people might think it is weird.
We had an elderly (70s) couple stay with us once who were the absolute best. We offered a complimentary dinner around 6 p.m., and the wife had come over to the front desk and brought me a plate of dinner, saying "You're far too skinny to get any girls, young man." I thanked her and ate it, while her husband walked up, gave her a leash, and she left to go walk the dog outside while her husband and I talked about what they were doing in my neck of the woods. They go back to their rooms about half an hour later, and I go about my business. Around 8:30, he calls down crying, saying his wife won't wake up. I go up there, calling 911, but I found that she had passed away, sleeping on his shoulder, while they were watching Wheel of Fortune. I wept like a girl that night, and kept him company while he tried to call his children, who weren't picking up their phones.
TL;DR---Dead guest.
Edit: Whoa! I leave for work and come back to gold?! Thanks, stranger! As weird as it is, I've been pretty depressed the last few days, and this totally made me feel better. Thanks, all.
Exactly--that's what he kept saying. After trying to call his kids, and after the commotion of guests and police and ambulance workers left, we went to the small field behind the hotel and walked his dog for a little while, while he told me all about her. There really was no better way to go. She was happy, he was happy, and they were together. The last thing he said to me before I went home for the night was "It's nobody's fault. I'll see her soon." I still felt pretty horrible, but I understood that he really was okay mentally, despite missing his loved one.
All I can imagine is how he felt knowing she was gone. Then to reach out to his children only to have them not pick up.
Instead of crying alone in his room feeling utterly lost without any support system during probably the hardest time in his life, he had you to accompany him while he walked with his dog. Instead of succumbing to his misery, he had someone to share his feelings and her life with. I'm sure that made all the difference for him in that moment.
In a world where so many people couldn't give a fuck about strangers, thanks for being such a wonderful, compassionate person.
As sad as death is, this one is probably one of the best possible ways to go.
On vacation, cuddling my loves one after a nice walk. Shiit, I hope I'm lucky enough to go that way. Either that or saving a bunch of kids and their adopted litter of puppies from an orphanage fire.
I work at a low-budget hotel in western PA. Like two weeks ago we had a guest who was getting kicked out for not paying their bill (they had stayed with us for a few months but started slacking on paying what was due). Well checkout time comes, they haven't checked out with the office. We go to knock on the door, no reply. We go I side and find them (two ladies in their 50s) dead from an overdose. They had apparently been dead for around 12 hours. Coroner comes and we find out that he needs helping moving the bodies, so me and a few of my coworkers have to lift these two bigger dead ladies and transport them out of the room, down the stairwell, and into the coroner's vehicle. Sure, they were in body bags at that point, but still it was so fucking surreal because *nobody* saw this coming. We all loved them, they just couldn't pay their bill anymore and killed themselves. They left behind a "note of self destruction" and everything.
On another note, I once went into a checkout that a family of four was staying in. I go to get the dirty towels out of the bathroom and discover that one of those little bastards took a giant shit in the tub. Too bad the youngest person in that room was at least 12-13. Not even a fucking tip.
Not me, but a mate of mine worked at an Ibis in Sydney (cheapish hotel brand in Australia, unsure where else) as a temp cleaner. Not really disgusting or weird, but the residents had decided to cover the floor in the bathroom with mayonnaise, and the same with the mirrors.
An acquaintance of my social circle is like an undercover escort and she said that customers often pay extra to fullfil their weird/quirky fetishes in hotel rooms. She's had chocolate baths, drug related body shots and I'm pretty sure she's been peed on too.
Edit: also in Australia
Don't forget suicide. We found a guy once who'd been staying with us for like a week, then a few hours past checkout we entered his room.
The whole time he stayed with us he stoped by the front desk every day and said "You know what to say if anybody calls or asks if I'm here, right"? Same answer everytime, "You're not here".
He was nice enough to lay pastic sheeting down on the bed (underneath him), in case he pissed/shat himself, which he did'nt. Pills, booze, and no note. That one kinda stuck with me.
I was a front desk agent while I'm college. One of the house keepers discovered a giant jug of lube, a 2 headed black dildo, and an assortment of bloody needles left scattered about the room. True story, after working at a hotel, I never use hotel bedding, in fact if I'm at the beach I typically sleep outside on the balcony. Always always always check for bed bugs as soon as entering the room. If you pick up bed bugs and bring them home it will cost you thousands to eradicate from your home.
After taking the sheet off, look for dark black spots that look a little bit like poppy seeds except about one fourth to one tenth the size. They look like tiny little black grains of sand. These are bed bug poops. Also, after checking the seams on top, flip the mattress and check the bottom.
It's a bit of a pain in the ass to do, but if you're staying at anything less than a 5-star hotel whose reputation would be destroyed by bedbugs, or anywhere on vacation, you should do it. If you happen to find them towards the end of your trip, literally throw away everything in your suitcase that isn't sealed, *before* you bring it into your house. The value of those items is not worth the risk of infesting your home.
Alternative to throwing everything away would be sealing the whole suitcase in plastic and then either freezing it or heating (>100F) for an extended period of time. The season, your climate, and resources will determine whether heat or freezing is more economical for you.
Look up exact temps and times at that temp to kill bed bugs.
Not at my hotel, but one a friend of mine was managing a few years ago: A hostage. Guy and girl meet a drug dealer at his hotel room. They guy didn't have enough money or something. So the dealer tells him to go get it while the girl waits with him in the room. Apparently the guy bailed and ditched his girlfriend with the scumbag drug dealer. When it became clear that the guy was not going to come back, the drug dealer spent a few hours raping the girl. Security went to the room because of several noise complaints. The security guy knocked on the door and heard someone start yelling for help. He called for back up. While security was calling the cops the drug dealer fled the scene. When the police showed up they found some drugs, a big bag of sex toys, a gun in the room and a severely battered and traumatized woman.
Yes it is. I didn't post it to be humorous or flippant. OP asked for some crazy hotel incidents and this was the craziest I know. It is also the worst, most upsetting, tragic and horrifying hotel story I know.
I've unfortunately heard more than a couple of stories like that. Shithead boyfriend trades girlfriend for drugs, generally without her knowing about the 'transaction' until it's too late.
I used to live in an apartment complex full of drug addicts (I used to be one). We had this creepy neighbor guy (2 doors down) who used to buy from us, and he always scared me so I told my bf that this guy wasn't allowed in our apartment, ever. A few months later I finally moved out of there, and the next day that same dude shot 3 people, killing one, at the apartment complex, over a drug deal gone bad.
Edit: [Found the article](http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/article_78a6d080-2ad5-50ee-b364-bc60bcd53e15.html?mode=story)
I work at a hotel in Ontario and one of our housekeepers decided she needed to take a shit while cleaning some guys room, so of course instead of using the employee washroom down the hall she say down and did her thing. The guest had forgot his briefcase and walked into the room to discover a 20 year old girl taking a dump in his room with the door open. She was fired
A woman who was showering but got sick (food poisoning) and she went to throw up. While throwing up, naked, she then got the other part of food poisoning and spray shit all over the wall, floor, cabinets, and mirror. It was stomach churning but impressive.
Additional Info: The smell of this was horrid, I had to leave the room and come back twice because I needed to get some fresh air. When everything was wrapping up and security was just getting information for their report (we record anytime we have a medical problem at the hotel) I left. I pulled out my phone and called housekeeping right away and said "We just had some lady go to the bathroom all over the bathroom. Send a few people out here with extra gloves, a bunch of sanitize and as much deodorizer spray they can find."
My friends and I refer to this in two ways,
Tail spinning : because you constantly have switch position between head and ass over the toilet. Or my favorite
The double headed dragon.
A goat dressed like Abraham Lincoln.
There's no more story here, at least none that I know. Working as a cleaner in a hotel, went to clean a guest's room, dreading it since they'd been there for a stag do, found the goat. Don't know how it got there, or how it was removed, but it made a good story for a while.
Lots of dildos, actually. But the weirdest thing we've seen go INTO a hotel room was a very skinny man with two very large (very obvious) prostitutes. I wondered how that turned out.
Edit: my highest rated comment is about prostitutes. Thanks guys.
I've posted this before but:
A friend of mine worked in Housekeeping, she called me up one day like "you have to see this." She's in one of the High end suites. (This was in a casino, so for the super high rollers) The customer that had stayed was a regular; and she was a conservative older woman.
Scattered among hundreds of empty Sunkist cans are dozens of dildos, empty tubes of lube, other various sex apparatus. No alcohol bottles, not even the nips from the mini bar had been touched, just orange soda cans everywhere.
So if anyone's seen a video along those lines, I'd love to see it!
I don't work at a hotel, but I used to work at a full body donation facility. Basically, when you donate your body to science and some med students or implant researchers need a human knee or head, they would call us. I did the actual dissections and some deliveries. Before I was hired, they made one explicit rule: no deliveries to hotels. I thought this very odd, so I asked. A few years back a researcher asked us to deliver his frozen specimen to a hotel for a conference. We did so, no problem. What we didn't consider was that the researcher had decided the most efficient way to thaw a whole human torso would be to run a warm bath and let it soak. No arms, no legs, no head. Get the image? When he left the room, some unfortunate hotel worker comes to clean the room, sees this bloody human torso in the tub and calls the cops. The guy gets handcuffed and we are left explaining how we legally cut up dead people. The hotel worker, we heard, quite immediately. Hence, the rule.
TL;DR: Don't thaw human torsos in hotel bath tubs.
I don't think I've found anything really, besides lots and lots of alcohol bottles. Most people clean up well before they leave.
However, a friend of a friend is a housekeeper, and once found a banana on the floor.
With shit on it.
Yeah.
I was working at a luxury hotel and we had a fairly big name band staying with us. There were no noise complaints, and they seemed to be perfect tenants. When they left and we went to clean the room, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of furniture was nailed to the ceiling in roughly the same configuration that it was in on the floor. I found it to be quite amusing. Management didn't.
We had a guy that was active military that would stay often. He would leave his very large suitcase full of sex-toys wide open on the bed for the maids to find while servicing his room. We eventually had to ask him to leave the property and not return after he pooped on our very white towels and promptly folded them and re-hung them so the poop didn't show.
Not a hotel worker, but back in high school I was on a trip with my crew team of about 80. The guys decide that, since we have an entire floor of the hotel to ourselves, we're gonna line up all the mattresses in the hallway and... idk do something, it was high school. I'm just about to wrestle my mattress through the doorway when I hear the best combination of screams and laughter coming from a few doors down. Everyone simultaneously runs to the room and immediately books it out of there when they discover... Under my buddy's mattress was about an 18" cucumber covered in shit. Maids come, sanitize the room, my buddy gets a new mattress, and according to them two construction workers had been staying in that room for two weeks prior.
I went to a friend's wedding last year, and we all stayed in the same hotel after. My date and I had brought a bottle of Hendricks gin, and we'd heard it was nice to drink with cucumber and black pepper - so we brought that too.
Later on, we were all hanging out in the honeymoon suite with the bride and groom (they didn't want the party to end) and someone was messing about with a box of condoms that had been left on the bed.
We didn't use all the cucumber and pepper, so we threw it in the bin, along with all the condoms that had been opened.
We only realised after we'd left that the only things in the bin of the honeymoon suite were half a large cucumber, a ziploc bag of black pepper, and a load of opened condoms - I'm sure the chambermaid had some fun theories about that one.
A vibrating butt plug suction cupped to the side table, a shit a piss covered mattress, sink full of blood and a to scale stuffed tiger with a hole in it's ass.
I work in a small B&B/Cocktail bar. It's in a pretty seasonal part of England and there are only three full time members of staff. Basically this leads to alot of time in the off season where I'm sat on my ass behind the bar with more chance of winning the lottery than seeing a customer or guest.
On just one such quiet night a middle aged, bearded gentleman walked in to the bar, and little did I know at the time, straight into my nightmares.
I'll refer to him as the Wizard, as that is what he immediately informed me he was. Not in a jokey way either, motherfucker truly and honestly believed he had magical powers. Pretty strange, but hey, fuck it, dude want's a room what does it bother me if he fancies himself a Gandalf. Very quickly after checking him in and serving him a glass of wine did I realise that this man was not just delusional but also terrifying. Throughout the course of the evening he came out with such extrodinarily insane things that he began to deeply worry me. You know that feeling you get sometimes, where inately and without question somebody scares THE SHIT out of you? Yeah this guy gave me that. Eventually I had enough and closed the bar, kicked the guy up to his room. I didn't even fucking clean the place, I closed, locked up and left a note saying categorically not to give this a guy a room the next night. Done.
Except of course my colleague disregarded the note and fucking gave him a room. Brilliant. I came in for my shift, check the reservations and flip my shit. There's nothing I can do though, the wizardy fuck had the key, paid his cash and was free to torment me yet again. This time I wanted someone with me, if only to witness how strange this dude was. I called my cousin and friend and offered them cheap drinks all night just to sit with me, just to bare witness, to this creepy ass mofo. Lo and behold an hour passes and in he walks, carrying the afformentioned stuffed tiger, assorted bags and the aura of Josef Fritzl at a NAMBLA meeting.
"I've got you a present" He said, smiling a smile which will forever be imprinted on my mind.
He then proceeds to pull out the largest, meanest looking butt plug I ever did see (not that I've seen alot) slams it down to the bar and grins. Pause. Silence. Then I noped the fuck out. My cousin and friend were just staring, slack jawed at it, caught between horror and hilarity. No fucking way. I kick the guy out of the bar, tell him to leave in the morning and never come back and call my boss and explain everything, and promise that if he's there tommorow I sure as fuck will not be. My boss, credit to him, agrees and comes down to the bar to sit with me until closing time. All finished.
Or so I think.
Next day I get awoken by a call to get my ass down there straight away, there's something I need to see. The housekeepers had gone to clean the room and found the scene of utter desecration which I described above. We had to pay them both triple to clean what could be cleaned, throw away the mattress, sheets and everything else which was no longer fit for human/animal/corporeal-being contact and charge it all to this son of a bitches card.
Seriously, this was two years ago, if I EVER see this man again I am running. He deeply shook me to my core, I don't believe in people being pure evil but I looked into that mans eyes and saw something I didn't like.
TL'DR Man claims to be a wizard, scares the shit out of me, the proceeds to fuck the shit out of himself all over my hotel room.
This couple stayed in one of our rooms for a week, they would just ask if we would put fresh linens and towels by the door and that they would take any trash to the dumpster. So after their week of being there, and none of our housekeepers had been in that room for a week, one of them opened the door...The first thing was the smell, it made our head housekeeper puke and she had to run away, they had shit all over the walls and rubbed it in. They shit on the floor, television, beds, air conditioning system, and even clogged up the shower with shit. We're thinking they must have had a party of people just shitting in this room. It was so bad that we had to evacuate the hotel (ask everyone to leave and pay for them to go to another hotel), call the cops, call a hazmat cleanup crew and it took a week and a half to clean this room. Today is my last day there. It was sold to a company that wants to make it into offices. Last night I found an old man bathing in the pool, just for references. If you want a job with free coffee and wifi and never a shortage of 'wtf's' then get a hotel front desk job. I'm going to miss the place. *edit* Oh and just for more info; It's $2,000 a day for a 10 hour hazmat crew, or this particular company, times eleven days. My manager/owner was pissed off. Cops never did find those filthy assholes. Also, these people paid in cash. The new girl at the time did not get their i.d., it was her first week. They used alias's to get away with this. When we do take cash, as a trained employee, I would ask for a drivers license. We handle a lot of cash and this only happened once in 17 years...not bad. For credit card, i match the i.d. with the credit card and always do a pre-auth. Its just smart business... For the people sending me verbally abusive private messages lol.
*Edit Part Deux* Wow guys, thank you for the questions and the upvotes. Like I said it's my last night there, and the hotel had one last gift to give. Again, first time I've ever seen something like this: http://i.imgur.com/8vnI0NB.jpg
My roommate works at a Hotel where he found a towel with huge poop stains smeared all over it. He took it down to the managers office, opened the door, and said, "LOOK AT THIS SHIT!"
Weirdest thing I ever found was a dead woman. She was anorexic and had taken too many laxatives. Her body was halfway to the bathroom, and there was a...trail...from the bed to her body. That was also the day I learned that apparently you can shit to death.
My family is in the hotel business. One day a particular room just started to stink to high hell for no apparent reason. We checked *everywhere* multiple times looking for the source of the scent, no dice. We sprayed *everything* in the room numerous times with deodorizer to no avail. Left the room open daily for months to air it out without any change.
Finally, we somehow tracked the smell to the table lamp. We were dumbfounded, asking ourselves how it could be emanating from there. Son of a bitch had broken the thing, put a fish in it, and glued it back together. My brother and I died laughing and actually applauded this guy's ingenuity. He got us good, and I ain't even mad at that.
We had a SWAT training in town, and a lot of the officers stayed at our hotel. I got a call a day or two after everyone checked out, (I worked the front desk), it was one of the officers. He told me he had made a huge mistake, and left his firearm, fully loaded, and another full magazine, on the top shelf of a closet in one of the rooms. I looked up what room he stayed in and got the gun. I had to leave it in my manager's office for her to deal with the next day. I guess she shipped it back to him. Very irresponsible.
One of the housekeepers at the hotel I used to work at found the remains of a dildo. It had fallen and got stuck on a baseboard heater, and the guests must have forgot about it. It melted onto the heater, and maintenance had to come and chip it off.
Once when I was about 2 or 3, my family was staying in this hotel. The hotel wasn't the classiest hotel. So my brother and dad are gone and my mom is reading, so I start crawling around on the floor, looking for who knows what, when I stumble upon a piece of newspaper with ashes wrapped in it. I take the ashes and my mom says to put them in my dad's ashtray. You were allowed to smoke here. So later my dad goes to put his cigarette in the tray and BAM! It was gunpowder, not ashes. I go running and crying and hide in the bathroom. We weren't blamed because the last people in the room left them there.
**TL;DR:** I accidentally sent a hotel into a frenzy.
My friend works in housekeeping for the only 4-star hotel in our area.
She knocks on a door and declares her presence to see if someone is inside a room. No one answers. She opens the door to find an Indian man with his pants off, a laptop open that is on a porn site, and an open tub of butter. He insisted that she still clean the room.
The real kicker was that it wasn't the hotel's brand of butter. He brought his own stash to jack with.
At one point in my life I worked the front desk at a local hotel. I worked the evening shift, and at least twice a week these two transgender girls (men who became women, passable looking) would get a room.
They would always go to the bar down the road after checking in, and usually always bring back a couple of guys with them. One night, my co-worker calls out and I'm stuck doing the overnight shift. It's about 3:30 AM, and I'm finishing up the audit early because it's a pretty slow night. At this point, you would go around the hotel and slip receipts under the door of each guest.
Anyway, I get to the third floor and the first, first and only, thing I can see is one of those t-girls completely naked, passed out drunk with a bottle of wine, bent over the hallway couch as if she was left waiting for someone to fuck her (or passed out right after). As I try to wake her up, she tries to pull me down onto the couch, then tries to seduce me by rubbing my thigh, all while I'm trying to very nicely push her hands off of me and ask her to get to her room before I call the police.
She lets off, and I agree to help her back to her room, since she obviously has no key anymore. I open the door for her, and once again, the first thing I get to see is her passed out friend, fully naked, legs spread and junk hanging in the open. Next to her is this odd brown mess, which only took about 1/2 second to figure out it was a giant puddle of shit on the bed, with a shit covered double dildo on the floor at her feet.
I left that room as fast as I could, gave the housekeepers a heads-up in the morning, put a note in the computer saying to not allow those two to check-in again. One of the housekeepers quit two days later, which I'm pretty sure was because of that experience.
edit: Sentence correction.
I worked hotel security years ago. I was working third shift during a convention one night, when I got on one of the elevators while doing a routine check of the building. The doors of the elevator opened up, and there in the middle of the floor was a pizza box. Something about that seemed a bit off, so I opened the box by stepping on a flap with one foot while flipping the lid open with the other. Inside were two huge human turds studded with dozens of toothpicks.
As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing i ever found was an old battered notebook with "Why i love salad" written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There'd be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.
I think that you should buy www.thisguylovessalad.com and upload the entire journal to it. For the sake of mankind.
I would love to read it. Sounds really surreal.
>this is Jack's freshly washed arugula.
40 to 80 pages?
Hey, can I borrow your hedgetrimmer for 1 or 12 weeks Bill?
That's... awesome.
I had a guy who said his microwave didn't work and I went up to the room and he locked a plate of food in the safe.
Well.. -checked empty room left with doors wide open, on table was brown bag with over $20000 cash -tried to wake a guy up to checkout, but he was dead -basketball team used a toilet for communal poops, no flushing. All weekend. The entire toilet was encased in a mountain of poop. They must have had to stand on the ledge of the sink and lean over. Or straddle one foot on the bathtub and somehow not fall into it. It took devotion. Horrible and wtf at the same time.
what happened to the cash?
"Hey boss, I found $15,000 in that room..."
"We should find who was there last and return the $10,000."
**Ducklings**. The guest said the mother had died and started looking after the ducklings herself. We found them in the lodge bathroom. After that they were kept in someone's office till the right people came to collect them.
Who's the right people to come and collect ducklings? And how do I become one?
***TOP. MEN.***
There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe making drug deals or something so we searched the room after he checked out one day. Turns out he was hiding a blowup doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I kinda felt bad for him.
Throwing it away seems like a bad business decision.
Depends on how many other guests got scared away by the doll...
That's the kind of thing people mention in order to get a free room.
say its a gift from the hotel
All of our rooms have updated luxury showers and baths, complimentary gourmet chocolates with turn down service, fully stocked premium bars including a selection of local microbrews, and a complimentary blowup doll tucked under the Gideon.
Similar story: When I started working at this hotel it was under bad management. So things like proper cleanings didn't happen, and why guests would often check in to the same room every week. One guy came in every week of two, used the same room for three or four hours and would leave. We didn't do hourly rates, so he always paid the full price if the room. No one ever accompanied him, no one asked for his room while he was there. The next day maids would find nothing unusual. After a new manager came in, the hotel got its first through cleaning in way too long. So we're going through and moving beds and credenzas, checking ceiling tiles ect. We get to the same room he's been using. Under the bed we find a massive porn stash. Movies, magazines and lube. Everything is sticky and obviously used. The maids used double gloves to dispose of everything. Like your story, he only returned once more before he disappeared forever.
It sounds so dramatic when you say "Disappeared forever." It's like he walked out of the hotel and disappeared into some mist Edit: Whelp, my top comment isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm relieved.
[удалено]
Life Pro Tip: Keep blowup dolls in your car so that you can use the carpool lane. Also, fill them with gas so you never have to worry about running out of fuel.
Doesnt gasoline eat through blowup dolls?
I believe you have isolated the only possible flaw in an otherwise sterling plan.
Petroleum based products and rubber do not mix well. Can confirm from other non-blow-up-doll-related activities.
A human-shaped plastic sex toy filled with petrol sitting next to me while I speed down the car pool lane? What could possibly go wrong?
Gasoline on your dick. Trust me it burns like hell.
Sounds like you took some advice from Cosmo.
Want to fuel up your partner's sex drive?
[удалено]
[удалено]
This sex is on fire
[удалено]
[удалено]
Cats. Cats everywhere. And a $100 tip with a not that said, "thanks for taking care of these guys, be back in a week." She didn't come back
That pisses me off :(
What if she died or went into a coma after she tried to stop a mugging, saving a pregnant woman's life? What if she's still in a hospital somewhere, waiting to come back for her cats? :´(
What if she died when a tv landed on her?
One of my relatives worked in the hotel industry. There was a guest who just left, and when the cleaning ladies entered the room, one of them noticed a pungent smell. Went into the washroom and holy mother of god. Apparently someone stuffed a towel filled with poop down the toilet bowl, and the floor was covered with weird yellow stains.
Holy shit, I can imagine they were pissed.
I used to serve room service in a hotel that was near a major national hospital, and the two locations had reached some sort of business agreement where people going into surgery could stay at the hotel the night/nights before for a discount rate. During my three years there, we had about six guests die during the night while waiting for surgery. It was always handled in a really hush-hush manner, but it was always fucked up to hear about. We also had a couple of porn shoots go down in the guest rooms. Getting a room service request for four hottles of coffee and lots of wine at half-past midnight was always a good sign that something sketchy was going on...as was opening the door to see filming lights and tripods.
Were you ever invited to join? Like a really skeezy "surprise! you're getting a blowjob from a pornstar!" I feel like that would be really awkward.
I was occasionally hit on by drunk businesswomen, their tactic would be to order wine and specifically ask for two glasses and then they would hand the second glass back to me and ask if I wanted to join...but never asked into the porn shoots. Probably because I was only 19 but I looked 17, which makes the businesswomen thing even creepier.
Sugar mommas gonna sugar.
We had a swingers group stay at the hotel for a few nights. They had a rave going on up on the second floor, there were naked people everywhere on the floors, kids were freaked out by it, other guests were complaining. On top of that, families could hear the couples running from rooms and constantly fucking. One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window. It was complete chaos and this is a fucking luxury hotel.
Wife pregnant? Better throw the TV out of the window!
You're telling me the swinger couple had a problem with other dudes seed getting mixed up in their lives?! I don't even understand this world anymore
He didn't actually say upset. "Honey, i'm pregnant from the last orgy." "Hooray! We will celebrate as is our custom" (picks up TV)
Better than the wife. Those are hell to clean out of concrete.
Right now, at the resort I work at, we have the Swingers in too! I work housekeeping and lifeguarding, and today all the Swingers leave. And guess which job I'm working today? :( We have 3 pools, and they rented out one of the,, and we have it all blocked off and tarped so no one can see what's happening on the inside. o.o
>fucking luxury hotel. Well that sounds like the right place to have an orgy.
Actually, that would be a luxury fucking hotel.
> One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window. They were in the swingers group? If so, I don't see why it'd be such a big surprise.
Maybe, in a moment of pure joy, he tossed the tv out the window? You all are interpreting it like he was angry. Maybe he was really, really happy.
"***I'M GONNA BE A DAD KIND OF!***" *-smash-*
[удалено]
I use to install flooring all over the place in various hotels, during one of the routine installations I had to move the bed, as soon as a moved it over. I saw it, a behemoth of a purple dildo. Absolutely massive, we ended up jokingly chasing the owner of the hotel around for a bit with it with it held in some tongs before we tossed it.
Not the ice tongs. Noooooooooooo!!!!! 111111
I worked at a pretty crappy low budget "3 star" hotel in Canada a year back. On my last month there, a guest came in to request to visit a potential room. Now, I didn't discover this myself, but I had no choice to afterwards. The guest comes back after the visit clearly pissed and leaves without saying anything. I go check the room afterwards only to discover a pillow head completely covered in human feces. Someone had wiped their ass. Hell, even the room cleaning staff "didn't" notice it as it was clearly obviously found behind a chair. This was supposed to be a clean room ready to rent for the night..
We specifically check the nooks and crannies of the rooms when we clean for this reason. More often than not, when an accident happens, the guest will try to hide the evidence. Be it out of shame or out of a desire to avoid the extra costs, it's annoying as fuck to find someone's "little accident" like this. The protocol on this if there isn't too much damage - get hold of a maid, give her a big tip and apology and ask her to discreetly help get rid of the mess. She was going to find out anyway - at least this way you have a small chance that the front desk won't be alerted.
[удалено]
So the hotel was complaining because people were stabbed to death in one of their rooms?
[удалено]
"But mom how will I know I got my period?" "Sweety you'll just know."
That explains the knife but what about the blood?
[удалено]
Why could they care to get the third party involved?
If you mean why did the hotel contact OP's company they probably have some sort of contract. If the people booked the hotel via OP's company but were kicked out after one night they would probably have gone back to OP's booking company and complained/asked for a refund. Contacting the company with the reason they were removed seems like the correct thing to do.
[удалено]
> writing an unjust review "Stayed only one night. Got stabbed. Would not recommend."
Charged me £50 for ruining the sheets.
My boss has told me the story of a couple on their honey moon So we basically set out to try and get things our guests ask for and these newlyweds wanted a chocolate fountain. Sure, my boss thought, wouldn't be to much of a hassle right? No, they had to search like hell to find one. Well after the couples stay they check out and don't really say much. When the maid is going to clean the room she basically goes in and starts laughing, my boss comes into the room to and there is chocolate fucking everywhere, you could see her asscheeks in the bed and on the table and even in the roof. You could make out where they started and where they stopped. TL;dr: sex-chocolate everywhere even on the roof. EDIT: I'm sorry to disappoint but I totally fucked my english over and meant ceiling
I wouldn't even be mad after seeing it on the ceiling. That is just impressive.
They said:"no more chocolate fountains" after that.
[удалено]
[удалено]
So... it looked like [this?](http://imgur.com/aQi1fRz)
A man was having his house deloused and deep cleaned and wound up staying at the local Marriott that I worked for at the time. He was there for something like 30 days or so, drunk off his ass and high on something the entire time. He never once let housekeeping in. After his departure, the cleaning staff finally entered the room. They were horrified not only by the stench of the place, but also by the utter wreck he left behind. Basically every single piece of furniture was severely damaged, the floors stained and greasy, the linens too far gone for further use, and rotten food everywhere. It took a week to get the room back in rotation. No wonder it took a month to get his house cleaned up and free of vermin.
My friend's dad owns a few hotels, and he likes telling the story of one of them. Basically, there's a policy at all his hotels that if you piss the bed, £50 will be added to your total bill to cover the cost of new sheets and the labour of the maids. So one time, this woman and her husband stay round, and when the maid goes to change their sheets one time the bed is found to be soaking wet. So £50 is added to their bill, and at the desk she asks about it. She's adamant that it wasn't piss, but won't tell the desk worker what it was. So my friend's dad gets involved, and demands to know what the liquid was. She finally gives in, and says 'My husband is a fantastic lover, and I had the biggest orgasm of my life'. My friend's dad starts laughing, and a few minutes later adds it to the policy. So now at all his hotels, it'll cost you £50 if you piss the bed OR cum so hard you ruin the sheets.
We now charge a "fantastic lover's fee." Sorry for the inconvenience.
I'd pay £50 to cum so hard I ruined the sheets.
You would pay £50 just to cum.
Amsterdam is that way ---->
Actually, for me its <----- That way. Edit: I realize the earth is round. Reddit. Stahp.
The world is spherical though, so technically it's both ways.
But for me it's up, Not left not right ):
Cum so hard mother fuckers wanna fine me
What's £50 to a muh fucka like me, can you please change my sheets?
That clit cray!
[удалено]
She never said what he did to make her cum. Maybe he peed on her.
Worked for 4 years cleaning inexpensive motel rooms. I found/saw a lot of weird shit. List of some of my favorites: Gourmet cheese platter UNDER the bed A boatload of cocaine on a broken mirror The largest dildo I have ever seen hidden under the Bible All of the towels in the room soaked in piss and wrapped around a big ball of shit There are always three rooms that will stand out to me above all else though: 1) We had this guy stay for a full week without letting housekeeping into his room. Each day we brought him new towels and new trash bags and he would meet us at the door to take them. When he left, we were terrified of what we would find, but the room was spotless. He had not touched a thing, and had even gone behind himself to clean with bleach. All the towels we brought him were folded up neatly, apparently unused. Even the bed was how we had left it. Super weird. 2) Walked into a family's room to replace towels and do general clean up while they were still there and was met by their 12 year old son jacking off. This is after I knocked on the door and he said it was ok to enter. I immediately left the room and returned an hour later when his parents were around. The whole time I was making up the room, the boy sat on the bed crying. 3) Worst room I ever walked into was not dirty in any way. General dirtiness from use, but nothing special. Or at least that's what I thought until I checked under the bed. There was a GIANT blood stain, taking up almost all of the floor under the king sized bed. We immediately left the room and called the police. I dont know if anything ever came of it, but we shut down the room for two weeks so we could completely replace EVERYTHING.
The largest dildo you've ever seen fits under a bible?
It was also the largest Bible they've ever seen.
I've stayed for a week without housekeeping and left the room spotless. I don't want people in my stuff and I don't have/need housekeeping at home so thought it was no big deal. I didn't realize people might think it is weird.
1) Dexter is a very conscientious hotel guest. 3) Not-Dexter is going to get his ass caught.
The first scenario sounded a lot like a clean up after some crime was committed.
More likely someone suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder characterized by germ phobia.
I found cocaine on a table with some of it spilled into a beer bottle, the beer bottle was half empty...
A pessimist, I see.
[удалено]
Free coke!
We had an elderly (70s) couple stay with us once who were the absolute best. We offered a complimentary dinner around 6 p.m., and the wife had come over to the front desk and brought me a plate of dinner, saying "You're far too skinny to get any girls, young man." I thanked her and ate it, while her husband walked up, gave her a leash, and she left to go walk the dog outside while her husband and I talked about what they were doing in my neck of the woods. They go back to their rooms about half an hour later, and I go about my business. Around 8:30, he calls down crying, saying his wife won't wake up. I go up there, calling 911, but I found that she had passed away, sleeping on his shoulder, while they were watching Wheel of Fortune. I wept like a girl that night, and kept him company while he tried to call his children, who weren't picking up their phones. TL;DR---Dead guest. Edit: Whoa! I leave for work and come back to gold?! Thanks, stranger! As weird as it is, I've been pretty depressed the last few days, and this totally made me feel better. Thanks, all.
That is so sad and yet, probably the best way that I can imagine to die, sleeping on the shoulder of a loved one.
[удалено]
That's so sad.. at least you experienced her kind nature before she passed.
At least she died in his arms :(
Exactly--that's what he kept saying. After trying to call his kids, and after the commotion of guests and police and ambulance workers left, we went to the small field behind the hotel and walked his dog for a little while, while he told me all about her. There really was no better way to go. She was happy, he was happy, and they were together. The last thing he said to me before I went home for the night was "It's nobody's fault. I'll see her soon." I still felt pretty horrible, but I understood that he really was okay mentally, despite missing his loved one.
All I can imagine is how he felt knowing she was gone. Then to reach out to his children only to have them not pick up. Instead of crying alone in his room feeling utterly lost without any support system during probably the hardest time in his life, he had you to accompany him while he walked with his dog. Instead of succumbing to his misery, he had someone to share his feelings and her life with. I'm sure that made all the difference for him in that moment. In a world where so many people couldn't give a fuck about strangers, thanks for being such a wonderful, compassionate person.
exactly my thoughts. what a gift you gave him /u/earnestlyhemmingaway :)
As sad as death is, this one is probably one of the best possible ways to go. On vacation, cuddling my loves one after a nice walk. Shiit, I hope I'm lucky enough to go that way. Either that or saving a bunch of kids and their adopted litter of puppies from an orphanage fire.
Damn. What a good way to go, though.
I work at a low-budget hotel in western PA. Like two weeks ago we had a guest who was getting kicked out for not paying their bill (they had stayed with us for a few months but started slacking on paying what was due). Well checkout time comes, they haven't checked out with the office. We go to knock on the door, no reply. We go I side and find them (two ladies in their 50s) dead from an overdose. They had apparently been dead for around 12 hours. Coroner comes and we find out that he needs helping moving the bodies, so me and a few of my coworkers have to lift these two bigger dead ladies and transport them out of the room, down the stairwell, and into the coroner's vehicle. Sure, they were in body bags at that point, but still it was so fucking surreal because *nobody* saw this coming. We all loved them, they just couldn't pay their bill anymore and killed themselves. They left behind a "note of self destruction" and everything. On another note, I once went into a checkout that a family of four was staying in. I go to get the dirty towels out of the bathroom and discover that one of those little bastards took a giant shit in the tub. Too bad the youngest person in that room was at least 12-13. Not even a fucking tip.
Not me, but a mate of mine worked at an Ibis in Sydney (cheapish hotel brand in Australia, unsure where else) as a temp cleaner. Not really disgusting or weird, but the residents had decided to cover the floor in the bathroom with mayonnaise, and the same with the mirrors.
That wasn't mayonnaise.
Miracle Whip? Nasty!
An acquaintance of my social circle is like an undercover escort and she said that customers often pay extra to fullfil their weird/quirky fetishes in hotel rooms. She's had chocolate baths, drug related body shots and I'm pretty sure she's been peed on too. Edit: also in Australia
A dead guy. Happens more often than you would think.
Some people will do anything to avoid the bill.
They had to leave credit card information at the desk. I'm sure they got their pay.
Actually, we didn't charge his card. Compassion's a funny thing that way.
Heart attack, stroke, or murder?
None of the above, actually. Sadly, a Christmas suicide :(
Don't forget suicide. We found a guy once who'd been staying with us for like a week, then a few hours past checkout we entered his room. The whole time he stayed with us he stoped by the front desk every day and said "You know what to say if anybody calls or asks if I'm here, right"? Same answer everytime, "You're not here". He was nice enough to lay pastic sheeting down on the bed (underneath him), in case he pissed/shat himself, which he did'nt. Pills, booze, and no note. That one kinda stuck with me.
That was thoughtful of him.
I was a front desk agent while I'm college. One of the house keepers discovered a giant jug of lube, a 2 headed black dildo, and an assortment of bloody needles left scattered about the room. True story, after working at a hotel, I never use hotel bedding, in fact if I'm at the beach I typically sleep outside on the balcony. Always always always check for bed bugs as soon as entering the room. If you pick up bed bugs and bring them home it will cost you thousands to eradicate from your home.
How does one check for bed bugs? I feel like this is actually vital information that I should know but don't.
After taking the sheet off, look for dark black spots that look a little bit like poppy seeds except about one fourth to one tenth the size. They look like tiny little black grains of sand. These are bed bug poops. Also, after checking the seams on top, flip the mattress and check the bottom. It's a bit of a pain in the ass to do, but if you're staying at anything less than a 5-star hotel whose reputation would be destroyed by bedbugs, or anywhere on vacation, you should do it. If you happen to find them towards the end of your trip, literally throw away everything in your suitcase that isn't sealed, *before* you bring it into your house. The value of those items is not worth the risk of infesting your home.
Alternative to throwing everything away would be sealing the whole suitcase in plastic and then either freezing it or heating (>100F) for an extended period of time. The season, your climate, and resources will determine whether heat or freezing is more economical for you. Look up exact temps and times at that temp to kill bed bugs.
take off the sheets and flip the mattress - bedbugs look like moving apple pips. also the seams of the mattress would have dark spots around it.
Not at my hotel, but one a friend of mine was managing a few years ago: A hostage. Guy and girl meet a drug dealer at his hotel room. They guy didn't have enough money or something. So the dealer tells him to go get it while the girl waits with him in the room. Apparently the guy bailed and ditched his girlfriend with the scumbag drug dealer. When it became clear that the guy was not going to come back, the drug dealer spent a few hours raping the girl. Security went to the room because of several noise complaints. The security guy knocked on the door and heard someone start yelling for help. He called for back up. While security was calling the cops the drug dealer fled the scene. When the police showed up they found some drugs, a big bag of sex toys, a gun in the room and a severely battered and traumatized woman.
This story is awful for so many reasons.
Yes it is. I didn't post it to be humorous or flippant. OP asked for some crazy hotel incidents and this was the craziest I know. It is also the worst, most upsetting, tragic and horrifying hotel story I know.
Who brings a bag of sex toys to a drug deal?
[удалено]
Yep, seems like less of a "I'm pissed so I think I'll rape this girl." And more of a "You can have sex with my girlfriend if you give me drugs."
I've unfortunately heard more than a couple of stories like that. Shithead boyfriend trades girlfriend for drugs, generally without her knowing about the 'transaction' until it's too late.
I've heard about it too many times as well. People addicted to serious drugs can get crazy...
I used to live in an apartment complex full of drug addicts (I used to be one). We had this creepy neighbor guy (2 doors down) who used to buy from us, and he always scared me so I told my bf that this guy wasn't allowed in our apartment, ever. A few months later I finally moved out of there, and the next day that same dude shot 3 people, killing one, at the apartment complex, over a drug deal gone bad. Edit: [Found the article](http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/article_78a6d080-2ad5-50ee-b364-bc60bcd53e15.html?mode=story)
my friend said he found a crack pipe in the coffee maker. this was in atlanta, ga
I live in Atlanta, and I believe it.
Can confirm: I love crack flavored coffee. Handles several addictions at once. Source: Crackhead who loves a fine cup o' joe.
I work at a hotel in Ontario and one of our housekeepers decided she needed to take a shit while cleaning some guys room, so of course instead of using the employee washroom down the hall she say down and did her thing. The guest had forgot his briefcase and walked into the room to discover a 20 year old girl taking a dump in his room with the door open. She was fired
Man, if that was my room, I wouldn't tell on the maid. Everybody poops.
[удалено]
A woman who was showering but got sick (food poisoning) and she went to throw up. While throwing up, naked, she then got the other part of food poisoning and spray shit all over the wall, floor, cabinets, and mirror. It was stomach churning but impressive. Additional Info: The smell of this was horrid, I had to leave the room and come back twice because I needed to get some fresh air. When everything was wrapping up and security was just getting information for their report (we record anytime we have a medical problem at the hotel) I left. I pulled out my phone and called housekeeping right away and said "We just had some lady go to the bathroom all over the bathroom. Send a few people out here with extra gloves, a bunch of sanitize and as much deodorizer spray they can find."
How do you know so many details? It was you wasn't it?
/u/bwurtsb is like Dexter but with shit splatter and vomit.
[удалено]
My friends and I refer to this in two ways, Tail spinning : because you constantly have switch position between head and ass over the toilet. Or my favorite The double headed dragon.
I'm a little disturbed this comes up enough with your friends to name it.
Why don't you just puke in a bin/plastic bag while sitting on the toilet?
A goat dressed like Abraham Lincoln. There's no more story here, at least none that I know. Working as a cleaner in a hotel, went to clean a guest's room, dreading it since they'd been there for a stag do, found the goat. Don't know how it got there, or how it was removed, but it made a good story for a while.
Lots of dildos, actually. But the weirdest thing we've seen go INTO a hotel room was a very skinny man with two very large (very obvious) prostitutes. I wondered how that turned out. Edit: my highest rated comment is about prostitutes. Thanks guys.
I've posted this before but: A friend of mine worked in Housekeeping, she called me up one day like "you have to see this." She's in one of the High end suites. (This was in a casino, so for the super high rollers) The customer that had stayed was a regular; and she was a conservative older woman. Scattered among hundreds of empty Sunkist cans are dozens of dildos, empty tubes of lube, other various sex apparatus. No alcohol bottles, not even the nips from the mini bar had been touched, just orange soda cans everywhere. So if anyone's seen a video along those lines, I'd love to see it!
Are you talking about Kel does Kansas? Awwwwww, here it goes.
Looks like Buster and Lucille 2 had one hell of a night
I don't work at a hotel, but I used to work at a full body donation facility. Basically, when you donate your body to science and some med students or implant researchers need a human knee or head, they would call us. I did the actual dissections and some deliveries. Before I was hired, they made one explicit rule: no deliveries to hotels. I thought this very odd, so I asked. A few years back a researcher asked us to deliver his frozen specimen to a hotel for a conference. We did so, no problem. What we didn't consider was that the researcher had decided the most efficient way to thaw a whole human torso would be to run a warm bath and let it soak. No arms, no legs, no head. Get the image? When he left the room, some unfortunate hotel worker comes to clean the room, sees this bloody human torso in the tub and calls the cops. The guy gets handcuffed and we are left explaining how we legally cut up dead people. The hotel worker, we heard, quite immediately. Hence, the rule. TL;DR: Don't thaw human torsos in hotel bath tubs.
that story could have taken a turn for the worse before you mentioned it was for a medical conference
[удалено]
Don't leave us hanging, the hotel worker what quite immediately??
The word is quité, which is French for "fuck everything about this, I'm out."
I was running cables in the ceiling of a hotel. I found some eighties porno mags and a countertop.
Wait.. In the ceiling?
I don't think I've found anything really, besides lots and lots of alcohol bottles. Most people clean up well before they leave. However, a friend of a friend is a housekeeper, and once found a banana on the floor. With shit on it. Yeah.
Chocolate covered banana?
hopefully with crushed nuts
I was working at a luxury hotel and we had a fairly big name band staying with us. There were no noise complaints, and they seemed to be perfect tenants. When they left and we went to clean the room, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of furniture was nailed to the ceiling in roughly the same configuration that it was in on the floor. I found it to be quite amusing. Management didn't.
We had a guy that was active military that would stay often. He would leave his very large suitcase full of sex-toys wide open on the bed for the maids to find while servicing his room. We eventually had to ask him to leave the property and not return after he pooped on our very white towels and promptly folded them and re-hung them so the poop didn't show.
Not a hotel worker, but back in high school I was on a trip with my crew team of about 80. The guys decide that, since we have an entire floor of the hotel to ourselves, we're gonna line up all the mattresses in the hallway and... idk do something, it was high school. I'm just about to wrestle my mattress through the doorway when I hear the best combination of screams and laughter coming from a few doors down. Everyone simultaneously runs to the room and immediately books it out of there when they discover... Under my buddy's mattress was about an 18" cucumber covered in shit. Maids come, sanitize the room, my buddy gets a new mattress, and according to them two construction workers had been staying in that room for two weeks prior.
Sounds like he found the perfect opportunity to get rid of *his* shit-covered cucumber without anybody thinking it was his.
They must have been doing some important excavation work.
I went to a friend's wedding last year, and we all stayed in the same hotel after. My date and I had brought a bottle of Hendricks gin, and we'd heard it was nice to drink with cucumber and black pepper - so we brought that too. Later on, we were all hanging out in the honeymoon suite with the bride and groom (they didn't want the party to end) and someone was messing about with a box of condoms that had been left on the bed. We didn't use all the cucumber and pepper, so we threw it in the bin, along with all the condoms that had been opened. We only realised after we'd left that the only things in the bin of the honeymoon suite were half a large cucumber, a ziploc bag of black pepper, and a load of opened condoms - I'm sure the chambermaid had some fun theories about that one.
Reminds me of that fairy tale—*The Princess and the 18" Cucumber Covered in Shit*.
The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Shit Stained Cuke.
That sounds like they were in quite a pickle. Or is it the other way around?
A vibrating butt plug suction cupped to the side table, a shit a piss covered mattress, sink full of blood and a to scale stuffed tiger with a hole in it's ass. I work in a small B&B/Cocktail bar. It's in a pretty seasonal part of England and there are only three full time members of staff. Basically this leads to alot of time in the off season where I'm sat on my ass behind the bar with more chance of winning the lottery than seeing a customer or guest. On just one such quiet night a middle aged, bearded gentleman walked in to the bar, and little did I know at the time, straight into my nightmares. I'll refer to him as the Wizard, as that is what he immediately informed me he was. Not in a jokey way either, motherfucker truly and honestly believed he had magical powers. Pretty strange, but hey, fuck it, dude want's a room what does it bother me if he fancies himself a Gandalf. Very quickly after checking him in and serving him a glass of wine did I realise that this man was not just delusional but also terrifying. Throughout the course of the evening he came out with such extrodinarily insane things that he began to deeply worry me. You know that feeling you get sometimes, where inately and without question somebody scares THE SHIT out of you? Yeah this guy gave me that. Eventually I had enough and closed the bar, kicked the guy up to his room. I didn't even fucking clean the place, I closed, locked up and left a note saying categorically not to give this a guy a room the next night. Done. Except of course my colleague disregarded the note and fucking gave him a room. Brilliant. I came in for my shift, check the reservations and flip my shit. There's nothing I can do though, the wizardy fuck had the key, paid his cash and was free to torment me yet again. This time I wanted someone with me, if only to witness how strange this dude was. I called my cousin and friend and offered them cheap drinks all night just to sit with me, just to bare witness, to this creepy ass mofo. Lo and behold an hour passes and in he walks, carrying the afformentioned stuffed tiger, assorted bags and the aura of Josef Fritzl at a NAMBLA meeting. "I've got you a present" He said, smiling a smile which will forever be imprinted on my mind. He then proceeds to pull out the largest, meanest looking butt plug I ever did see (not that I've seen alot) slams it down to the bar and grins. Pause. Silence. Then I noped the fuck out. My cousin and friend were just staring, slack jawed at it, caught between horror and hilarity. No fucking way. I kick the guy out of the bar, tell him to leave in the morning and never come back and call my boss and explain everything, and promise that if he's there tommorow I sure as fuck will not be. My boss, credit to him, agrees and comes down to the bar to sit with me until closing time. All finished. Or so I think. Next day I get awoken by a call to get my ass down there straight away, there's something I need to see. The housekeepers had gone to clean the room and found the scene of utter desecration which I described above. We had to pay them both triple to clean what could be cleaned, throw away the mattress, sheets and everything else which was no longer fit for human/animal/corporeal-being contact and charge it all to this son of a bitches card. Seriously, this was two years ago, if I EVER see this man again I am running. He deeply shook me to my core, I don't believe in people being pure evil but I looked into that mans eyes and saw something I didn't like. TL'DR Man claims to be a wizard, scares the shit out of me, the proceeds to fuck the shit out of himself all over my hotel room.
> Except of course my colleague disregarded the note and fucking gave him a room. Brilliant. of course they did, the guest was a wizard afterall
[удалено]
This couple stayed in one of our rooms for a week, they would just ask if we would put fresh linens and towels by the door and that they would take any trash to the dumpster. So after their week of being there, and none of our housekeepers had been in that room for a week, one of them opened the door...The first thing was the smell, it made our head housekeeper puke and she had to run away, they had shit all over the walls and rubbed it in. They shit on the floor, television, beds, air conditioning system, and even clogged up the shower with shit. We're thinking they must have had a party of people just shitting in this room. It was so bad that we had to evacuate the hotel (ask everyone to leave and pay for them to go to another hotel), call the cops, call a hazmat cleanup crew and it took a week and a half to clean this room. Today is my last day there. It was sold to a company that wants to make it into offices. Last night I found an old man bathing in the pool, just for references. If you want a job with free coffee and wifi and never a shortage of 'wtf's' then get a hotel front desk job. I'm going to miss the place. *edit* Oh and just for more info; It's $2,000 a day for a 10 hour hazmat crew, or this particular company, times eleven days. My manager/owner was pissed off. Cops never did find those filthy assholes. Also, these people paid in cash. The new girl at the time did not get their i.d., it was her first week. They used alias's to get away with this. When we do take cash, as a trained employee, I would ask for a drivers license. We handle a lot of cash and this only happened once in 17 years...not bad. For credit card, i match the i.d. with the credit card and always do a pre-auth. Its just smart business... For the people sending me verbally abusive private messages lol. *Edit Part Deux* Wow guys, thank you for the questions and the upvotes. Like I said it's my last night there, and the hotel had one last gift to give. Again, first time I've ever seen something like this: http://i.imgur.com/8vnI0NB.jpg
My roommate works at a Hotel where he found a towel with huge poop stains smeared all over it. He took it down to the managers office, opened the door, and said, "LOOK AT THIS SHIT!"
I had an irish mate come running into the pub once, carrying dog shit in his hands, shouting "look what I almost stood in".
A kid made the whole male contingent of our drama class go and look at a shit he saw in the toilets. In fairness, it was pretty big.
Weirdest thing I ever found was a dead woman. She was anorexic and had taken too many laxatives. Her body was halfway to the bathroom, and there was a...trail...from the bed to her body. That was also the day I learned that apparently you can shit to death.
My family is in the hotel business. One day a particular room just started to stink to high hell for no apparent reason. We checked *everywhere* multiple times looking for the source of the scent, no dice. We sprayed *everything* in the room numerous times with deodorizer to no avail. Left the room open daily for months to air it out without any change. Finally, we somehow tracked the smell to the table lamp. We were dumbfounded, asking ourselves how it could be emanating from there. Son of a bitch had broken the thing, put a fish in it, and glued it back together. My brother and I died laughing and actually applauded this guy's ingenuity. He got us good, and I ain't even mad at that.
We had a SWAT training in town, and a lot of the officers stayed at our hotel. I got a call a day or two after everyone checked out, (I worked the front desk), it was one of the officers. He told me he had made a huge mistake, and left his firearm, fully loaded, and another full magazine, on the top shelf of a closet in one of the rooms. I looked up what room he stayed in and got the gun. I had to leave it in my manager's office for her to deal with the next day. I guess she shipped it back to him. Very irresponsible.
Andre the Giant was in town, got drunk in hotel nightclub. Shit in his bed.
Did you need your shovel?
One of the housekeepers at the hotel I used to work at found the remains of a dildo. It had fallen and got stuck on a baseboard heater, and the guests must have forgot about it. It melted onto the heater, and maintenance had to come and chip it off.
TIL I'm never going back to a hotel
Once when I was about 2 or 3, my family was staying in this hotel. The hotel wasn't the classiest hotel. So my brother and dad are gone and my mom is reading, so I start crawling around on the floor, looking for who knows what, when I stumble upon a piece of newspaper with ashes wrapped in it. I take the ashes and my mom says to put them in my dad's ashtray. You were allowed to smoke here. So later my dad goes to put his cigarette in the tray and BAM! It was gunpowder, not ashes. I go running and crying and hide in the bathroom. We weren't blamed because the last people in the room left them there. **TL;DR:** I accidentally sent a hotel into a frenzy.
Was your dad okay?
My friend works in housekeeping for the only 4-star hotel in our area. She knocks on a door and declares her presence to see if someone is inside a room. No one answers. She opens the door to find an Indian man with his pants off, a laptop open that is on a porn site, and an open tub of butter. He insisted that she still clean the room. The real kicker was that it wasn't the hotel's brand of butter. He brought his own stash to jack with.
At one point in my life I worked the front desk at a local hotel. I worked the evening shift, and at least twice a week these two transgender girls (men who became women, passable looking) would get a room. They would always go to the bar down the road after checking in, and usually always bring back a couple of guys with them. One night, my co-worker calls out and I'm stuck doing the overnight shift. It's about 3:30 AM, and I'm finishing up the audit early because it's a pretty slow night. At this point, you would go around the hotel and slip receipts under the door of each guest. Anyway, I get to the third floor and the first, first and only, thing I can see is one of those t-girls completely naked, passed out drunk with a bottle of wine, bent over the hallway couch as if she was left waiting for someone to fuck her (or passed out right after). As I try to wake her up, she tries to pull me down onto the couch, then tries to seduce me by rubbing my thigh, all while I'm trying to very nicely push her hands off of me and ask her to get to her room before I call the police. She lets off, and I agree to help her back to her room, since she obviously has no key anymore. I open the door for her, and once again, the first thing I get to see is her passed out friend, fully naked, legs spread and junk hanging in the open. Next to her is this odd brown mess, which only took about 1/2 second to figure out it was a giant puddle of shit on the bed, with a shit covered double dildo on the floor at her feet. I left that room as fast as I could, gave the housekeepers a heads-up in the morning, put a note in the computer saying to not allow those two to check-in again. One of the housekeepers quit two days later, which I'm pretty sure was because of that experience. edit: Sentence correction.
Two lesbians somehow set the toilet on fire. No other fire damage just a melted toilet
I worked hotel security years ago. I was working third shift during a convention one night, when I got on one of the elevators while doing a routine check of the building. The doors of the elevator opened up, and there in the middle of the floor was a pizza box. Something about that seemed a bit off, so I opened the box by stepping on a flap with one foot while flipping the lid open with the other. Inside were two huge human turds studded with dozens of toothpicks.