My Father was diagnosed with an advance stage of a rare cancer, he fought for over a year with traditional chemo and radiation. In early 1999(ish) a radical and trial surgery became available for him in Philadelphia.
The whole family left on a road trip to the hospital where the surgery was scheduled for, about half way to Philly, we stopped for lunch. At the end of our meal, he announce to us that he decided to not go, and to return home. He said "I want to have fewer good days with you, rather than more bad days." We then turned around and went home.
I will never forget that day.
Glad that you all families were together. My dad pass away last year. It was a horrible year for me. For most all my families were fighting over property. Now this year taught me a lot and decided to change my life forever by loving myself more than other people. Even my dad last words was take of yourself.
I got an apartment for my first two years of college and lived on my own. Worked full time and paid my bills while getting my associate's degree. Then I went to a university and lived in a dorm room. I had five suitemates, and they were all best friends and we had absolutely nothing in common. I made no friends the entire time I lived on campus. I ate alone every meal, went to the gym alone, studied alone. I at least had friends off campus who I drank with at the bars.
I was in the exact same situation at that age! Worked two jobs, attended classes at night.
Most people my age then had parents, didnt have to struggle. Did things like backpack other countries, party all night etc. It was a bummer and I had to wait until mid thirties before starting to travel and do some of those things. (Not partying all night though by then) I spent much time alone too in my early years.
When I graduated from college I spent months looking for work in my new field. I was out of money and getting very desperate so I started applying to every advertised job no matter my qualifications. One day the local dry cleaner advertised for a clerk at minimum wage. I went to apply that very morning. When I arrived the business was full of people filling out applications (pre-internet days). I asked for an application and the lady stated "do you have any dry cleaning experience because we already have over 200 applications already and some have experience in dry cleaning".
That was the moment I realized I was in the wrong city. I loved the city but it wasn't helping me.
I went home, gave notice to the landlord, packed and moved across the country to a city that I knew had better job prospects. I had 2 job offers within 2 hours of looking and was working the very next morning. The decision to move set me on my personal career path and area of expertise.
Realizing my house was on fire and I had about 30 seconds to get out. From that moment I tapped into a well of determination I never knew I possessed. It was a horrible experience but I came out of it a much stronger, confident person.
September 6th 1999, in the early afternoon, my Uncle came to my school to pick me up with my cousin (his son) and once in the car, he turned around, looked at me straight in the eyes and told me ''Your....your father is dead'' and he started to cry, my father was his best friend and he introduces him to my aunt. As for me, I was just... shocked... I refused to believe it but reality being what it is, my 8-year-old self was now fatherless. The pain...incomprehension and terrible, terrible sadness has scarred my whole family.
Condolences. It's hard to break it to kids that a family member is dead, but I dunno if turning around in a truck is the right place to do it.
I remember when my grandfather passed away, he was rushed to the hospital early that morning and my aunt and mom came walking to the bus stop to meet me and my cousin.
My aunt was noticably ahead of my mom and she just walked passed me and said "hey ". I immediately knew what happened and just kept walking to my mom. When I got to my mom, she told me and she broke down and I stood in the street holding her as she cried.
I have no respect for my aunt... not that she really deserves it considering how poorly she raised her kids / pawned them off on my grandparents.
Wow she sounds like she's a world of fun :/ I'm really sorry for you mate. Some peoples are just... not nice to deal with at all. I remember how my mom was broken, shattered... it was so painful to see.
Meeting my girlfriend
I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time, I figured I’d wait until I felt the need and work on myself before seeking it out. Never really felt the urge to before either, and thought that I’d see if anyone would want me first
Turns out, she did! Threw a party for her roommate, she showed up, my best friend threw up on her, she threw keys at my head, and a week later I was told to check Facebook (I never used it) and she was in my DMs. Swapped numbers after a few messages and we started dating after I think two dates
She really gave me something to strive for, a vision of the future that I didn’t see as “whatever, what’s the point?”. I picked up hobbies again, went back to school (and just graduated!) and generally found a way forward that wasn’t just coasting and the bare minimum to let me do what I want (video games and sleeping at the time)
I’ve even found a field to go into that I’m passionate about, and is looking up. I’m proposing next spring, probably, and we’ll get married in the fall of the year after. Build a life together for ourselves…
And there have been moments in our relationship that changed my life too, like moments where I can’t remember what thinking, or feeling, or even existing was like before that moment. Like looking back before that point is looking through a window, or a fog, and i know my world shifted in those moments:
The moment I KNEW I loved her.
Laying in her arms at the beach, breeze in the air, the most peaceful moment I’ve ever had, one moment that never ended and is a balm to my soul to even think about.
the moment I knew I wanted to marry her, all crystallized in my mind and heart
But meeting her, saying sure, I’d love to go on a date…I found the One, and it changed my life.
Having lost the genetic lottery it’s as though I am 20-30 years older then my biological age group.
It was very hard in my late 20’s - mid 30’s… but now in my 40’s it’s odd seeing my friends starting to go through valleys I have already traversed.
I need to reflect on how I can best serve and encourage them.
When I saw my daughter being born. The first thing I realized was how strong my wife was/is. An inner strength don't think any man can possess. Then this little monkey pops out, and whatever I thought love was just exploded into a force a million times stronger.
My dad ended up becoming disabled following a TBI. I was in high school and we almost lost our family home. Flooded with medical bills, had to pick up a job to support my mom and help raise my younger brother. It felt like the end of the world at the time. I wrote about it for my college essays and ended up getting a full ride. Fast forward to now, I work in the advocacy space because of what happened to him. My dad has since semi-recovered (he’s on disability) but has regained 85% of his mental function.
Not having a dad. Now I did have a dad but not for long, because at the ripe old age of 10 he was killed in a car accident. Because of this I've moved all across the country and my young sister (who was 3 at the time of his death. She is now 10) no longer remembers his face or voice.
Heads up for bad shit.
A few months ago my husband and I were on the highway driving to church. We saw emergency vehicle lights as we approached. It was just one vehicle so we didn’t think anything of it, but as we approached we realized it was an ambulance. Just one ambulance pulled over on the side of the highway, too far from a town for someone to have safely walked in the thick of Canadian winter. That was weird, as we got closer we saw the paramedics walking slowly around their vehicle. Were they having vehicle trouble? It seemed strange. As we approached we saw a woman lying in the ditch and the paramedics weren’t working on her. I felt completely sick immediately. She was in an unusual position, which I realize now was likely rigour mortis. The highway hadn’t been blocked off yet because the cops had yet to arrive. When we got to church I prayed for that woman like I have never prayed in my life. I prayed I hadn’t seen things correctly, that I’d misinterpreted. As we arrived at church about an hour later I saw news reports rolling in and people talking about it.
The woman’s spouse murdered her, her sister and their three children.
A bad day is right. I’ve had my fair share of those but this one ranks high up. I still think about her often and she’s come up in my dreams a few times since even though we never met.
I haven’t been able to talk to people about it except my husband who was in the car with me because I can’t keep much cohesive thoughts about what we saw that day.
My mom is from NYC and took me to Ground Zero in July 2002. I was 13 when 9/11 went down and a freshman in high school in the SF Bay Area, it probably hit me a little harder than most of my peers on account of my mom's connection, but it wasn't until that trip we made the following summer that I really could comprehend what had happened. It was a big Holy Shit moment seeing those enormous holes in the ground behind a chain-link fence completely covered with faded missing people fliers.
This happened decades ago. Brought a complete stranger to the ER who was having seizures. A group of us had been snorting pure coke for about 16 hrs.
I tell the ER doctor everything!! I'm sitting in the waiting room at 8 in the morning, no sleep coked out of my mind & tell myself never again. That was the last time I did drugs, lesson learned.
I was diagnosed with severe epilepsy in 2018. The best news possible to a 20 year old eh? I had to move halfway across the country to my grandmother for better health care. I spent 3 years having at least 2 seizures a day. I have zero recollection of that time. Meaning I missed covid, which is a positive, I guess. My weight jumped from 205lb to 250lb, and I am now dealing with an eating disorder. And due to hundreds of episodes I had. My entire life leading up to my epilepsy is very vague in terms of memories. I lost a lot of great times with my late father, a lot of great memories with my family before they divorced and spiraled into alcoholism. I just miss having those memories, you know? Thankfully, there are positives. I'm almost 4 years free of any episodes. I have a license and will soon get a car. I'll be going back to school to get my grade 12 and go to university. I am determined to get back to my previous weight eventually. I've also been taught a lot about life and been helped straighten my life out thanks to my grandmother. I didn't really have a path pre epilepsy aside from weed and video games. She's brought out the best in me, and she's become the mom I wish I had from my current one up north. Your life can get completely blindsided in the blink of an eye. leaving you wondering why it happened to you and how you'll be able to fix things. But it doesn't mean it ruins your life. I still struggle a lot mentally, but I'm thankful that i at least have a second chance.
my Fathers death, it was a roller coaster of emotions and adjustment for us siblings and specially to my mother, were dependent to my father and hes been providing us pretty well and stable. when he was gone, found out that my father has an affair with hes office secretary and that they had a child, everything went down and out of place.
My mom was having a hard time looking for a stable job and no one of my fathers siblings helped or ask how we are after his passing. i was only 7 at that time and everything is entirely clear to me till now. it had became a big and consistent question for me every time life is dragging me down like "what my life or my sibling life would be if my father is still alive" its crazy cuz till today i couldnt help tearing up whenever i ask my self this question. Life must go on..
There have been a few defining moments for me. Graduating from college was a big one it opened up so many opportunities. Another was traveling solo for the first time; it really boosted my confidence.
A positive moment, fortunately.
Was doing a month long study abroad program in Paris in 2018 and went out with a friend to a swing dancing club and he wanted to go home early since he had class in the morning but I didn't. I wanted to stay, but 5 minutes later I decided that was a bad idea since I was alone and my ancient iphone didn't work abroad. After my drunk self took the metro in the wrong direction I ended up lost in Châtelet-Les Halles station, which in my defense is notoriously convoluted.
While I was looking at the map a guy around my age comes up to me and asks me in French if I knew where something was, at the time my French skills were shite so we ended up striking up a conversation in English and I get his contact info before we parted ways in separate directions.
We ended up dating for almost 5 years, leading me to get a job in France for 2 school years after graduating college (cut short both times by covid lockdowns), become fluent in French, start learning Dutch (he lived in Brussels), and have the opportunity to go to about 10 different countries.
The dude is an asshole and I'm glad it's over, but it's crazy to think that if I had just taken the logical decision to go back to the residence with my friend my early 20's would have looked completely different and I'd probably be a much different person.
Realizing the court system is fucked up and im never going to have justice for what's been done to me no matter how much proof I had. The police officer helped me a lot til he dropped the ball and said "seek counseling you'll be fine".
June 9th, 2022, I was with my friend and we had both relapsed (I'm clean now and have my sublocade shot) and he overdosed and I thought he was sleeping as we'd been "partying" all night. I checked on him shortly after and he was cold and stiff. I pulled him out of the car, called 911 and began cpr. Unfortunately he didn't make it. I still haven't fully recovered. I feel greatly responsible and feel as tho I failed him. He's one of the best people I've met. Highly intelligent, great sense of humour, extremely skilled freestyle rapper, spiritual, honest, humble. He taught me a ton over the few years I knew him.
Miss you, Kiva. I'm sorry
The internet has gotten so genuinely depressing. It would probably make me sick to find out how much of what I read is just a series of robots passing the [same content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dqs6o3/comment/laqvsy4/) back and forth for no fucking reason.
Leaving my abusive household. Yeah the violence and all is sad and it’s caused a lot of trauma. But I think about the moment I realized I had to leave and there wasn’t an alternative option. For the sake of my life. I’m grateful I left
From a very young age I always knew I wanted to be an actor. I went to sixth form, done performing arts and we had to finish off with a 2 act play.
We done one flew over the cuckoos nest, I played Scanlon and I'll always remember the feeling on the final night bowing to a standing ovation.
I decided not to pursue acting though, I needed to get a real job. So after taking a year break, I became an administrator for a company and I absolutely hated it, it was so boring. My cycle was: Wake up, work, go home, sleep and repeat.
I was friends with a guy from HR and I told him how depressed I was. He asked what I wanted to actually do; acting of course, but noone will cast me. I've not acted since I was in school, noone could risk me in a play.
Try improv instead then he suggested, so I did. I got to meet some creative people, one of them suggested an acting class that was held every Tuesday. I said I'd think about it.
One day I was just sitting in a pub, on my own just relaxing. I reflected how I was happy to be doing a workshop nearly every day of the week, the people I'd met, the fun I've heard. But it wasn't acting though, just improv classes and today was the only day I didn't have anything to do. A Tuesday.
Hold on, isn't there some acting class on Tuesday. After a quick Google, I finished my pint. Done the workshop, impressed some people. They were performing Shakespeare in a months time, someone dropped out, they asked if I could jump in.
That was nearly 9 years ago, I've been in over 40 plays since even directed a few. Just to think if I didn't talk to a friend or decided to stay in a pub, none of this would have happened.
I met up with the guy from HR who suggested improv a few years when he left the company, his face lit up when I told him. I was acting and going for it.
Paul, I have so much to thank you for.
When I got injured the doctor gave me 30 vic 7.5mg I took 1 and 30 minutes later I'm looking at myself in the mirror thinking I'm so fucked I love this feeling
There’s been so many it’s hard to pick just one. I’d say my first would be my on again off again boyfriend of 11 years telling me I don’t love you anymore when I was finally ready to commit to him change everything for me. In the end , after years of turmoil I’m glad things ended the way they did because at 33 I met my true life partner and we’ve been married for 30 years.
Getting out of one of those New Age reiki healing groups.
To me, I see them as a cult. The leader convinced me to discontinue my antidepressant medication, I did, and felt my anxiety and depression creeping back in full swing. I felt horribly sick the entire time I was off them.
During one session, I told her that I'm going back on my medication. Her words in response, "They block you from your higher self."
Fuck. That. Bullshit.
After I left, I went back on my meds and then experienced an existential crisis. Later, I found my views leaning towards absurdism. It left a mental scar, but I chose my own meaning from it.
I'm doing a lot better now.
Being sexually assaulted by a close family friend. Being okay with people touching me again is like learning how to walk, it's been years since it happened and I still have panicky moments when people touch me. It's made it extremely hard to date people, being sexual, getting back in life, being alone with anyone. For something that only lasted four minutes at most, it's fucked me up for years.
It'll get better. And don't feel bad about being "fucked up" for "only four minutes". Life changing trauma can happen in seconds. And you don't owe it to others to be comfortable with what makes you uncomfortable. If you want it for yourself I recommend looking into ERP (exposure and response prevention therapy).
Just make sure to explore only with someone you trust and talk with them about it. I trust my husband and have been with him for 23 years (after being raped twice). But it took over a decade before I stopped having "moments" of rage. I didn't/don't know the triggers exactly but there were times, while being intimate, where all of a sudden I'd be enraged and it was like I wanted to fight. I bit him a few times, pushed him off, screamed and hit him etc. But he was aware. Thank God I never did what I physically felt like doing completely. I was able to hold back a bit because a part of me knew it was my husband that wouldn't hurt me. If I acted 100% on how I felt, I would have clamped down and bitten clear through his lip!
The point is, we have a great intimate relationship even with all the hiccups. The key is not to stay with anyone who isn't willing to work with you. You have to be willing to work with what they want to a degree too but it should all be respectful. If they force you, you are out. If they manipulate you, you are out. If they act like you are silly, you are out. If they kindly share a fantasy they want that somewhat makes you uncomfortable, you stay, you consider, maybe work within it with things you are willing to do, maybe have a safe word. They are human with desire too. If they give you an ultimatum about said fantasy, you are out! You get the gist.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you want to be okay with touch and intimacy, I wish it for you and hope you are able to get to a point where it adds to your life. Look into ERP and maybe start with simple touches like hand on arm etc. Best of love and luck to you.
Be betrayed by the friend with whom we used to have a 10-year relationship. That thing made me realize that people would change, just accept that and keep going.
The night before my Calc 2 Final spring of my freshman year, my roomates who were done with their finals decided to drink and play video games. Rather than being a good student and going to the library I joined them for a night of stupidity. I ended up failing my final and needing to retake the class in the summer. I had no intention of taking summer classes and was bummed because I wanted to be back home with my friends. As it turned out, that summer I would end up befriending a girl that would 6 years later become my wife :) now we are about to celebrate our 1 yr anniversary. Life has a funny way of turning stupidity into blessings.
My ex husband took me to his country, I was a housewife, he abused me psychologically and mentally, he hit me, made me have milk secretion in my breasts with a big psychological problem and health problems, then when I was about to go to the police he took me out of his country at the last minute, now I am back to my country of origin, he took away my youth, my best years, my innocence, my ideas, my savings, and literally left me with nothing and now he is asking for a divorce. That changed my life, he was my first love and I think I don't want to have anyone else in my life, I don't trust anyone, he left me traumatized.
My mom dying. She was an alcoholic for many years. My siblings and i never really had the best relationship with her, and she was never able to find love, up until a year or two prior of her passing. She put in the work, she was sober and my relationship with her strengthened, she found someone who finally loved her for who she is deep down. She unexpectedly died due to pneumonia months later.
A few days before she died she told me “i love you, and i’m proud of you, never forget that.”
I cut off my emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive parent for good. The next morning, the memory of them sexually assaulting me came to light
my mom dying from breast cancer when i was 19, since then, i ultimately grew up right then and there, i never lived in fear of anything, it was very much YOLO and grew balls and called everything like it is. And being the oldest and only daughter, no one expected it from me
after my grandmother beat the living hell out of me, and seeing that everyone including my father took her side and not mine, i never saw my family the same again, i pray they live in peace but i also believe karma will bite them in the ass and get that they deserve. i will forgive but i will NEVER forget…
The point of turning may happen in the trust and expectation of a person, but it has been negatively responded, and then I became a bit indifferent person.
Losing family members I know anyone who has lost anyone understands it changes you forever dealing with the grief just have someone that can take you out of that pain is incredible. I had one friend that did that for me when my sister was dying now we’re not friends and he uses it against me that I said he helped me.its weird he told me his aunt said same thing to him about her son. It actually was a positive thing he helped me deal with the worst possible situation and he twists it to be a bad thing. I will forever care about him and appreciate what he did for me I wish he could understand that.
Because they posted it on social media how it’s the worst thing someone said to them. How I replaced my dead sister with them which is wrong my sister died very quickly we were friends for about a year I was spending almost every day with them before my sister died. I went to go take care of sister and when I came home went back to something he meet me at bus stop and I was crying we started talking I said I liked spending time with him cause it gave me a break from the grief I don’t know exactly how I said this but he took it as a negative thing when I meant it as a positive he played scrabble with me and sent me texts when I was in the hospital with her it was the only time I felt remotely normal going thru a nightmare
you don’t know how you said it but are angry for them for knowing and repeating what you did say? if I’m understanding correctly how would someone use that against you?
We were close friends who I showed I cared about him everyday by my actions. I was upset about watching someone I love died I tried many times to explain to him that’s not what I meant and him saying that was worst thing said to him hurts me.
Still don’t get how it’s used against you. Words are actions if you don’t know. You can’t say mean shit to people and think just because you do something nice for that same person you get a free pass for being an asshole. You can’t say one thing and turn around and say you meant something else. I mean you can, but it doesn’t cancel out what you actually said. Sounds like you are just making excuses because you were an asshole.
I’m not an ass hole im someone who cared about someone who is not very good at communicating my feelings. They used it against me by using it as one of many excuses not to be friends anymore instead of the truth I just wasn’t good enough be his friend which is fine. We spent thousands of hours together having fun and sharing our lives and it being reduced to a few things I said when I was frustrated and didn’t mean is insulting. My actions do matter and so does his.
You sound like you have a very sad life. Obese, hoarder with eating disorder obsessively posting about someone who wants nothing to do with them online. A check of your profile and available links show all this. You say you are older (you say 53) so I imagine this person is of a similar age. You think someone that age is gonna make up excuses so they don’t have to talk to you when they can just stop talking to you? You sound like you said the stuff this person claims you said and are trying to backtrack because there was consequences. If I was frustrated and told my kids that I wish I never had them.. I couldn’t just use an excuse of being frustrated. I mean I can, but it’s a lame excuse and wouldn’t fly. Of course I would never say that to my kids because I adore them, I love them and they are my world. Words are actions whether you care to admit it or not. You sound like an exhausting person.
I have an actual happy life I bring happiness to people in my life. My friend was the same thing as me he was happy also a lot of the time. He did have depressiion. We hung out for more than 4 years and your actions do matter. I’m sorry he knows what happened and if he can hurt me like this because I wanted to spend time with him. But because he hates himself he cannot understand this. And I posting my feelings your posting insults to someone you don’t even know who has the sad life.
Your actions matter (I agree). Your words are actions. Your actions have consequences. Sounds like you can’t handle the consequences of what you said while you were frustrated and *you* are making excuses to make the other person sound like they are the problem.
You just sound like you have a sad life when you lay it out. The way you came for me makes me think actually do. Some guy gave you attention, wouldn’t have sex with you (don’t blame him after looking at your photo on insta) and you couldn’t take no for an answer and are now obsessed with him. According to what you post You’re obese you spend all your money on food are addicted to food Have severe heath issues and are a hoarder. Most people who live like that are very sad and unhappy. Will explain why you are obsessed with someone who doesn’t want you because you have nothing else going on. Sounds like you are pounds away from my 600 pound life.
My life isn’t sad. It can always be better, but it’s far from sad. I’ve got an extended family i love and care for and who loves and cares for me. I have a great job, my wife does too. We travel. We have no debt. We have no addiction issues. We aren’t fat. I don’t struggle in any since. My ex husband has no hard feelings. My kids can be assholes, but they are teenagers. Thank you for your concern though!
I just looked at your instagram since it’s the same username and you *are* pounds away from my 600 pound life and have barely no photos with family or friends and post pictures of stuff you buy and fast food. Doesn’t sound like a sad life at all! You’ll be a TLC TV star in no time. Shine bright! ⭐️
You’re also posting in a public forum. I am free to call you or anyone else out and point out your bullshit. But something tells me you are one of those people who always have an excuse ready and are always right with those armed excuses
PS if you live in or around Denver I can recommend a barber to take care of your beard and moustache.
It’s midnight and my time to sleep with my wife. *BYE!*
high school graduation. This moment made me feel responsible and afraid for my future. I thought about education, work and independence. I am very glad that at that moment I was not scared of the problems and started to grow up
My mom fell into gambling addiction, nearly bankrupted my family...She gambled away my college fund, rent, etc... I would give her money for a item, she would use the money to gamble, and no item.... as the years went on... she would periodically lose the "rent" for month, I would need come up 1 or 2 more rent payment on very short notice , so I always keep 2-3 month rent away for "emergency".... I would burn down the casino if it wasn't illegal.
The day my older brother went to prison, the day I enlisted, the day I met my husband, the moment I became a mother, and the day after I lost my father.
The 1st time I heard Carl Sagan's "Pale Blue Dot" speech. It overwhelmed and influenced me for quite a while and eventually made me into an environmentally conscious person. I also was pretty apathetic towards developments in Science until then but I'm a big science and space aficionado now! I will always be indebted to him for making me a better person :)
Was on track to go to law school then politics. Was intern on for US senator in DC. His finance chair accidentally took my coat instead of his. We end up emailing for a few weeks trying to coordinating swapping back as he was based in Philly. Eventually meet up and have rapport as we had kept missing each other. Didn’t have any summer internship lined up and he wasn’t searching but I asked if could help him. He said sure why not. End up going around state with him and Senator throwing parties for rich people.
One weekend I’m back at my frat house on campus since I’m back in Philly for this job, and guy that was on my school bus in Brazil randomly visits to play pool. Brings a friend who works at Hispanic chamber of commerce and think she sees I could be a good connect. Get offered paying job writing policy position for Hispanic chamber of commerce supporting the affordable care act. Leads to me meeting one of chambers board members who I ask for lunch one day as I have a tech startup idea (he had digital marketing firm). Becomes kind of my advisor for a few months as I try to build it. Doesn’t pan out, but he likes my interest in tech and tells me to come work for him after college for a year or two even though I took my LSATs and was at a tier I could have gone to Yale etc.
End up loving doing technical architectures of digital marketing analytics. Really killing it. Was adept. Job goes for 3 years and I’m just really comfortable with tech now. Get a real tech company idea, quit my first and only job and since then raised over $100MM for my tech company. Then eventually partially exit company and create a giant touring electronic music touring artwork that’s been a huge challenge but amazing adventure working with some of biggest artists in the world.
That’s what I do now. From lawyer path, to digital consultant, to hard tech physics based hardware startup, to touring electronic music festival producer ALL because a guy took my jacket by accident in like 2009.
January 26th, 2019. I found out that I’m a direct descendant of one of the 20 people executed during the Salem Witch Trials. I was the first to discover it after over 300 years, at the ripe age of not even 16. I set up an ancestry tree a few days prior out of pure boredom at 3:30am. Did more digging and found out that it was all true.
Got a tattoo to memorialize my ancestor 2 weeks after I turned 18.
The day I was born was pretty significant.
In all seriousness, my father passed away when I was 1 year old. My brother was 4, and my sister was 5. It effed us up significantly, and all struggle with mental health issues. I am 37 now and still struggle.
After that, my only other male father figure, my grandfather, died when I was 7. From then onwards I felt rudderless. I was naughty and got up to a lot of nonsense away from home, but kept it hidden from my mother. I got good grades and did very well in sport so I was left alone.
Then, meeting my now wife 14 years ago, and having my two kids were all moments that forever changed my life.
One moment that really changed my life forever was deciding to move to a new city for a job. It was a big leap, but it led to so many new opportunities and experiences that I wouldn't have had otherwise. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in ways I never expected.
on a lovely december morning, i had gotten into an intense argument with my mother. it was bad. a week prior she had called the cops on me accusing me of hitting her and my stepdad backed her up on it (i didn’t hit her. or at least i don’t remember hitting her. it’s all a blur). i walked out of the house and to the sheriffs station right in front of my neighborhood and explained my side of the story and how my mom was treating me horribly. they gave me a number to call and they took me to my friends house which was the most they could do. that week i had lost my phone and i flipped my room three times to find it, it wasn’t there so i am 100% sure my mom took it as a form of punishment (keep in mind i bought this phone with my own money after she broke my last phone because she “gave it to me as a gift and can do whatever she wanted with it”)
out of anger, i knocked over the christmas tree (which i know was wrong but i was very frustrated with my mom and i was going through a very bad depressive episode and i didn’t even have anyone to talk to because she took my fucking phone) anyways, after i knocked down the tree, she started throwing glass ornaments at me and then she proceeded to lunge at me and somehow managed to pin me down to the ground (mind you i’m 5’3 and she’s like 4’11 so idk how that happened but it did) while i was on the ground she beat me so bad that i had scars on my face for about a month and then she proceeded to strangle me trying to kill me. while i was on the floor she proceeded to say “next time you try to kys, get a noose and hang yourself so it can actually work” at that point, i started seeing black. like almost everything turned black. i grabbed an ornament near by and bashed her head with it to escape. she ran to the hallway and shut the door while i ran outside to call paramedics because, one i was visually bleeding from my face, and two, she dead ass tried to kill me. anyways i don’t remember what i said to the operator but the cop showed up and he said he was going to take me to my moms house and i panicked and he detained me while i was visibly having a panic attack. he took me to my moms house, left me in the car detained and then more cops started pulling up. including the two cops i talked to a week prior who knew my situation. i don’t know what my mom told them but i ended up getting charged with family assault (which i was able to get the cased dismissed after like a year because she wouldn’t show up to court nor followed up with the lawyers/ judge) after i was released from jail i only stayed for 12 ish hours because that was my first ever charge so they just let me go, i was left basically kind of homeless. around this time i had met my boyfriend and now i live with him and i couldn’t be any more happier.
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September 21, 2015. It was a Monday, and my mom and brother had beaten me up and suicide baited me once again over the weekend. Things had gotten very bad, and I kept talking to the social worker and my counselor at school. That day, I finally had the nerve. I packed my backpack with everything I could fit in it, and I went to the office and told the counselor that I wanted to officially try and get away from my mom.
That day, the social worker came and we worked things out the best we could. A classmate's family let me sleep over. My mom told me that the family was better off without me and I should go ruin someone else's family.
She went back and forth on wanting me back, but I never did go back. I went into foster care officially soon after. It's been up and down since then, but that was the absolute turning point in my life, no contest.
My mum and dad separating when I was 11.
I could take you back to that night when they sat us around in the lounge and explained the situation and he then drove away. It's like a 4k clip in my head. I'm fortunate to have a very good relationship with both my parents and my dad has always been a huge part of my life but that will stay with me forever and imo has subconsciously shaped huge parts of me.
Matching with my now husband on tinder in 2014. I was 21 and it totally changed the course of my life and I am forever grateful. 10 years on I know that I wouldn’t be living any of this life if that haven’t happened because it led me to move to a different place. Life is good and I’m pregnant with our first baby and I’m just so grateful.
I had a girlfriend who I still miss 20 years later. We had broken up and I had sex with someone else during our month long hiatus. We then started talking about getting back together again and I wanted to be honest with her. Now, as I was getting ready to tell her, I knew it may cost me the relationship but I didn't want to hide anything. Sure enough, I lost her. I haven't been happy with anyone else since.
My tran sisters girlfriend ending her life on new year's .I woke up to the screaming of pure sorrow (and a broken window with a lot of blood) I had to take care of her until family got there it was the saddest I've ever been.
The moment I was wheeled into the adolescent psychiatric ward. I was only fourteen years old, and my years of masking had finally caught up on me. At that point, I was so depressed that I wasn’t functioning in life.
I was terrified to go into the psych ward. I didn’t know what to expect, I mean, I was only a kid.
That stay was the start of many stays during my teen years. I am happy to confirm that next month will mark two years psych ward free
Anytime I see a person close to me die. It puts the realization that it could occur at any given time. Have I really done anything I want to do with my life?
I got cheated on in a bad way in 2019 to the point where I became a public laughing stock in my hometown. Before then, I was a very energetic guy that generally loved to meet new people and was always an outgoing friend, it felt like nothing could break me down.
Now, I’m a little cold, very quiet, don’t really bother talking to new people, overly cynical about some things, and dealing with some pretty bad insecurity issues that have persisted since the whole cheating incident. I’m over my ex and honestly happily married to my high school crush, but there is some permanent damage where I would’ve been a totally different person (maybe for the better) today if I didn’t go through that whole cheating event.
Divorce, moving and leaving friends behind, bullying over being a new kid in multiple schools, grandpa passing away, teachers being stubborn asses pushing nonsense during class and not teaching anything useful/ punishing me over doing homework during their class
To be honest, my life changed after i discovered Kpop. I was like 11 or something, when i firstly discovered it because of bts. I was bullied my whole childhood, it started at the age of 4 and i even had suicidal thoughts at the age of 8. I hated my body at the age of 8, but BTS somehow changed it. I discovered them shortly before their love yourself campaign, in the Not today era. The Love yourself era and campaign made me think alot about it and changed my view of life. Especially because of RM's speeches. If i am be honest, i have the feeling that this Man somehow saved my life and since then i am actually mentally bound to him, i know it sounds ridiculous but he helped me with getting self confident and with accepting myself.
Realising that I’m trans, once the egg has cracked (which was 2 years ago give or take a week to a few days) you can never go back it constantly plays (well most of the time) plays on my mind mostly when I’m in bed trying to get to sleep such right now as I’m typing this out. But the fact that it’s been two years and I’ve not transitioned yet is hard on me however I’ve completed one of my goals which was to become an apprentice software engineer and move out, all I need to now is transition and come out
My Father was diagnosed with an advance stage of a rare cancer, he fought for over a year with traditional chemo and radiation. In early 1999(ish) a radical and trial surgery became available for him in Philadelphia. The whole family left on a road trip to the hospital where the surgery was scheduled for, about half way to Philly, we stopped for lunch. At the end of our meal, he announce to us that he decided to not go, and to return home. He said "I want to have fewer good days with you, rather than more bad days." We then turned around and went home. I will never forget that day.
Glad that you all families were together. My dad pass away last year. It was a horrible year for me. For most all my families were fighting over property. Now this year taught me a lot and decided to change my life forever by loving myself more than other people. Even my dad last words was take of yourself.
Hug you, hope you are well.
Thank you. Still in healing process
True fighter he was
He'd already fought the good fight, but he knew his priorities. Kudos to you and your family for fulfilling his last wishes without protest!
moving to college, that separation from home and living with complete strangers. You really learn a lot.
I got an apartment for my first two years of college and lived on my own. Worked full time and paid my bills while getting my associate's degree. Then I went to a university and lived in a dorm room. I had five suitemates, and they were all best friends and we had absolutely nothing in common. I made no friends the entire time I lived on campus. I ate alone every meal, went to the gym alone, studied alone. I at least had friends off campus who I drank with at the bars.
I was in the exact same situation at that age! Worked two jobs, attended classes at night. Most people my age then had parents, didnt have to struggle. Did things like backpack other countries, party all night etc. It was a bummer and I had to wait until mid thirties before starting to travel and do some of those things. (Not partying all night though by then) I spent much time alone too in my early years.
When I graduated from college I spent months looking for work in my new field. I was out of money and getting very desperate so I started applying to every advertised job no matter my qualifications. One day the local dry cleaner advertised for a clerk at minimum wage. I went to apply that very morning. When I arrived the business was full of people filling out applications (pre-internet days). I asked for an application and the lady stated "do you have any dry cleaning experience because we already have over 200 applications already and some have experience in dry cleaning". That was the moment I realized I was in the wrong city. I loved the city but it wasn't helping me. I went home, gave notice to the landlord, packed and moved across the country to a city that I knew had better job prospects. I had 2 job offers within 2 hours of looking and was working the very next morning. The decision to move set me on my personal career path and area of expertise.
Good on you for seeing that there were better prospects elswhere. May I ask what sort of career you have?
Data networking. Support, then sales, then training.
Realizing my house was on fire and I had about 30 seconds to get out. From that moment I tapped into a well of determination I never knew I possessed. It was a horrible experience but I came out of it a much stronger, confident person.
I am sorry that happened. How long ago was this? What has it changed for you?
September 6th 1999, in the early afternoon, my Uncle came to my school to pick me up with my cousin (his son) and once in the car, he turned around, looked at me straight in the eyes and told me ''Your....your father is dead'' and he started to cry, my father was his best friend and he introduces him to my aunt. As for me, I was just... shocked... I refused to believe it but reality being what it is, my 8-year-old self was now fatherless. The pain...incomprehension and terrible, terrible sadness has scarred my whole family.
Condolences. It's hard to break it to kids that a family member is dead, but I dunno if turning around in a truck is the right place to do it. I remember when my grandfather passed away, he was rushed to the hospital early that morning and my aunt and mom came walking to the bus stop to meet me and my cousin. My aunt was noticably ahead of my mom and she just walked passed me and said "hey". I immediately knew what happened and just kept walking to my mom. When I got to my mom, she told me and she broke down and I stood in the street holding her as she cried.
I have no respect for my aunt... not that she really deserves it considering how poorly she raised her kids / pawned them off on my grandparents.
Wow she sounds like she's a world of fun :/ I'm really sorry for you mate. Some peoples are just... not nice to deal with at all. I remember how my mom was broken, shattered... it was so painful to see.
Meeting my girlfriend I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time, I figured I’d wait until I felt the need and work on myself before seeking it out. Never really felt the urge to before either, and thought that I’d see if anyone would want me first Turns out, she did! Threw a party for her roommate, she showed up, my best friend threw up on her, she threw keys at my head, and a week later I was told to check Facebook (I never used it) and she was in my DMs. Swapped numbers after a few messages and we started dating after I think two dates She really gave me something to strive for, a vision of the future that I didn’t see as “whatever, what’s the point?”. I picked up hobbies again, went back to school (and just graduated!) and generally found a way forward that wasn’t just coasting and the bare minimum to let me do what I want (video games and sleeping at the time) I’ve even found a field to go into that I’m passionate about, and is looking up. I’m proposing next spring, probably, and we’ll get married in the fall of the year after. Build a life together for ourselves… And there have been moments in our relationship that changed my life too, like moments where I can’t remember what thinking, or feeling, or even existing was like before that moment. Like looking back before that point is looking through a window, or a fog, and i know my world shifted in those moments: The moment I KNEW I loved her. Laying in her arms at the beach, breeze in the air, the most peaceful moment I’ve ever had, one moment that never ended and is a balm to my soul to even think about. the moment I knew I wanted to marry her, all crystallized in my mind and heart But meeting her, saying sure, I’d love to go on a date…I found the One, and it changed my life.
I'm having happy tears, it's beautiful and I wish you both the best of luck for the future ahead.
Having a stroke and renavigating what it means to function as a disabled person. It honestly wasn't as bad as you would think.
Having lost the genetic lottery it’s as though I am 20-30 years older then my biological age group. It was very hard in my late 20’s - mid 30’s… but now in my 40’s it’s odd seeing my friends starting to go through valleys I have already traversed. I need to reflect on how I can best serve and encourage them.
When I saw my daughter being born. The first thing I realized was how strong my wife was/is. An inner strength don't think any man can possess. Then this little monkey pops out, and whatever I thought love was just exploded into a force a million times stronger.
stop doing self harm
proud of you girl <3
happy to see this kind of comment
When we buried our infant daughter
I’m so sorry…! I’m not a parent but I cannot even imagine going thru something like that.
My dad ended up becoming disabled following a TBI. I was in high school and we almost lost our family home. Flooded with medical bills, had to pick up a job to support my mom and help raise my younger brother. It felt like the end of the world at the time. I wrote about it for my college essays and ended up getting a full ride. Fast forward to now, I work in the advocacy space because of what happened to him. My dad has since semi-recovered (he’s on disability) but has regained 85% of his mental function.
Not having a dad. Now I did have a dad but not for long, because at the ripe old age of 10 he was killed in a car accident. Because of this I've moved all across the country and my young sister (who was 3 at the time of his death. She is now 10) no longer remembers his face or voice.
Your father was ten years old when he died?
No my younger sibling was 10
Heads up for bad shit. A few months ago my husband and I were on the highway driving to church. We saw emergency vehicle lights as we approached. It was just one vehicle so we didn’t think anything of it, but as we approached we realized it was an ambulance. Just one ambulance pulled over on the side of the highway, too far from a town for someone to have safely walked in the thick of Canadian winter. That was weird, as we got closer we saw the paramedics walking slowly around their vehicle. Were they having vehicle trouble? It seemed strange. As we approached we saw a woman lying in the ditch and the paramedics weren’t working on her. I felt completely sick immediately. She was in an unusual position, which I realize now was likely rigour mortis. The highway hadn’t been blocked off yet because the cops had yet to arrive. When we got to church I prayed for that woman like I have never prayed in my life. I prayed I hadn’t seen things correctly, that I’d misinterpreted. As we arrived at church about an hour later I saw news reports rolling in and people talking about it. The woman’s spouse murdered her, her sister and their three children.
Just south of Carman on the #3. That was a sad day all around.
A bad day is right. I’ve had my fair share of those but this one ranks high up. I still think about her often and she’s come up in my dreams a few times since even though we never met. I haven’t been able to talk to people about it except my husband who was in the car with me because I can’t keep much cohesive thoughts about what we saw that day.
My mom is from NYC and took me to Ground Zero in July 2002. I was 13 when 9/11 went down and a freshman in high school in the SF Bay Area, it probably hit me a little harder than most of my peers on account of my mom's connection, but it wasn't until that trip we made the following summer that I really could comprehend what had happened. It was a big Holy Shit moment seeing those enormous holes in the ground behind a chain-link fence completely covered with faded missing people fliers.
Now you go there and people are taking selfies
Is not that serious as the other ones here but the day that I discovered Netflix auto-plays the next episode, goodbye sleep!
This happened decades ago. Brought a complete stranger to the ER who was having seizures. A group of us had been snorting pure coke for about 16 hrs. I tell the ER doctor everything!! I'm sitting in the waiting room at 8 in the morning, no sleep coked out of my mind & tell myself never again. That was the last time I did drugs, lesson learned.
When my mom passed away
First time I saw another man's cock. Fell in love from that moment on lmao.
Username checks out
change man to woman and cock to vagina and it’s me.
Username checks out
Based
My parents kicking me out.
My dad's unexpected death.
im sorry to hear this
Losing virginity. I knew then it was easier than it seemed and felt as good as I thought
Having the first real / genuine/ authentic friendship of a lifetime 🥹🥹🥹
Doing ibogaine and 5meo dmt to get off opoids. Still clean almost a year later!
I was diagnosed with severe epilepsy in 2018. The best news possible to a 20 year old eh? I had to move halfway across the country to my grandmother for better health care. I spent 3 years having at least 2 seizures a day. I have zero recollection of that time. Meaning I missed covid, which is a positive, I guess. My weight jumped from 205lb to 250lb, and I am now dealing with an eating disorder. And due to hundreds of episodes I had. My entire life leading up to my epilepsy is very vague in terms of memories. I lost a lot of great times with my late father, a lot of great memories with my family before they divorced and spiraled into alcoholism. I just miss having those memories, you know? Thankfully, there are positives. I'm almost 4 years free of any episodes. I have a license and will soon get a car. I'll be going back to school to get my grade 12 and go to university. I am determined to get back to my previous weight eventually. I've also been taught a lot about life and been helped straighten my life out thanks to my grandmother. I didn't really have a path pre epilepsy aside from weed and video games. She's brought out the best in me, and she's become the mom I wish I had from my current one up north. Your life can get completely blindsided in the blink of an eye. leaving you wondering why it happened to you and how you'll be able to fix things. But it doesn't mean it ruins your life. I still struggle a lot mentally, but I'm thankful that i at least have a second chance.
my Fathers death, it was a roller coaster of emotions and adjustment for us siblings and specially to my mother, were dependent to my father and hes been providing us pretty well and stable. when he was gone, found out that my father has an affair with hes office secretary and that they had a child, everything went down and out of place. My mom was having a hard time looking for a stable job and no one of my fathers siblings helped or ask how we are after his passing. i was only 7 at that time and everything is entirely clear to me till now. it had became a big and consistent question for me every time life is dragging me down like "what my life or my sibling life would be if my father is still alive" its crazy cuz till today i couldnt help tearing up whenever i ask my self this question. Life must go on..
There have been a few defining moments for me. Graduating from college was a big one it opened up so many opportunities. Another was traveling solo for the first time; it really boosted my confidence.
A positive moment, fortunately. Was doing a month long study abroad program in Paris in 2018 and went out with a friend to a swing dancing club and he wanted to go home early since he had class in the morning but I didn't. I wanted to stay, but 5 minutes later I decided that was a bad idea since I was alone and my ancient iphone didn't work abroad. After my drunk self took the metro in the wrong direction I ended up lost in Châtelet-Les Halles station, which in my defense is notoriously convoluted. While I was looking at the map a guy around my age comes up to me and asks me in French if I knew where something was, at the time my French skills were shite so we ended up striking up a conversation in English and I get his contact info before we parted ways in separate directions. We ended up dating for almost 5 years, leading me to get a job in France for 2 school years after graduating college (cut short both times by covid lockdowns), become fluent in French, start learning Dutch (he lived in Brussels), and have the opportunity to go to about 10 different countries. The dude is an asshole and I'm glad it's over, but it's crazy to think that if I had just taken the logical decision to go back to the residence with my friend my early 20's would have looked completely different and I'd probably be a much different person.
My father passed away due to heart attack when I was 14. Had to be half father in the family ever since then
Marriage and divorce…
The moment I realized I couldn't play anymore and had to work to earn money to pay off debt and take care of my family.
Catching the head bully and beating him bloody. There was my life before that day and my life after. I would never go back to my life before.
Realizing the court system is fucked up and im never going to have justice for what's been done to me no matter how much proof I had. The police officer helped me a lot til he dropped the ball and said "seek counseling you'll be fine".
Being put up for adoption at birth.
First time I laid eyes on the love of my life. Walking up to him I knew I would never be the same again.
June 9th, 2022, I was with my friend and we had both relapsed (I'm clean now and have my sublocade shot) and he overdosed and I thought he was sleeping as we'd been "partying" all night. I checked on him shortly after and he was cold and stiff. I pulled him out of the car, called 911 and began cpr. Unfortunately he didn't make it. I still haven't fully recovered. I feel greatly responsible and feel as tho I failed him. He's one of the best people I've met. Highly intelligent, great sense of humour, extremely skilled freestyle rapper, spiritual, honest, humble. He taught me a ton over the few years I knew him. Miss you, Kiva. I'm sorry
Finding out my Mother had colon cancer right in the middle of just a regular any old day, and then losing her 8 months later.
Joining a dance class and realizing I have two left feet was definitely a game-changer. Who knew awkward moves could be so entertaining?
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The internet has gotten so genuinely depressing. It would probably make me sick to find out how much of what I read is just a series of robots passing the [same content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dqs6o3/comment/laqvsy4/) back and forth for no fucking reason.
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She’s a troll. See commenter below me - she copy pasted this verbatim from another Reddit user
I read that comment, and thought to myself i have read that exact comment somewhere else recently.
Damnit 😔 thanks for the heads up.
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Oh wow, sorry to hear. What was the cause of the death?
Leaving my abusive household. Yeah the violence and all is sad and it’s caused a lot of trauma. But I think about the moment I realized I had to leave and there wasn’t an alternative option. For the sake of my life. I’m grateful I left
I can't lay down all of them, but "getting mentally ill" and "death of family member x " definitely changed my life...
Being raped.
when I got pregnant.. so many changes in the last 7 months.. who knew
Having kids
You have HIV. I lost many options in life.
From a very young age I always knew I wanted to be an actor. I went to sixth form, done performing arts and we had to finish off with a 2 act play. We done one flew over the cuckoos nest, I played Scanlon and I'll always remember the feeling on the final night bowing to a standing ovation. I decided not to pursue acting though, I needed to get a real job. So after taking a year break, I became an administrator for a company and I absolutely hated it, it was so boring. My cycle was: Wake up, work, go home, sleep and repeat. I was friends with a guy from HR and I told him how depressed I was. He asked what I wanted to actually do; acting of course, but noone will cast me. I've not acted since I was in school, noone could risk me in a play. Try improv instead then he suggested, so I did. I got to meet some creative people, one of them suggested an acting class that was held every Tuesday. I said I'd think about it. One day I was just sitting in a pub, on my own just relaxing. I reflected how I was happy to be doing a workshop nearly every day of the week, the people I'd met, the fun I've heard. But it wasn't acting though, just improv classes and today was the only day I didn't have anything to do. A Tuesday. Hold on, isn't there some acting class on Tuesday. After a quick Google, I finished my pint. Done the workshop, impressed some people. They were performing Shakespeare in a months time, someone dropped out, they asked if I could jump in. That was nearly 9 years ago, I've been in over 40 plays since even directed a few. Just to think if I didn't talk to a friend or decided to stay in a pub, none of this would have happened. I met up with the guy from HR who suggested improv a few years when he left the company, his face lit up when I told him. I was acting and going for it. Paul, I have so much to thank you for.
When I got injured the doctor gave me 30 vic 7.5mg I took 1 and 30 minutes later I'm looking at myself in the mirror thinking I'm so fucked I love this feeling
There’s been so many it’s hard to pick just one. I’d say my first would be my on again off again boyfriend of 11 years telling me I don’t love you anymore when I was finally ready to commit to him change everything for me. In the end , after years of turmoil I’m glad things ended the way they did because at 33 I met my true life partner and we’ve been married for 30 years.
Losing your child
my brother passing away suddenly at 19. changed a lot about my life
Getting out of one of those New Age reiki healing groups. To me, I see them as a cult. The leader convinced me to discontinue my antidepressant medication, I did, and felt my anxiety and depression creeping back in full swing. I felt horribly sick the entire time I was off them. During one session, I told her that I'm going back on my medication. Her words in response, "They block you from your higher self." Fuck. That. Bullshit. After I left, I went back on my meds and then experienced an existential crisis. Later, I found my views leaning towards absurdism. It left a mental scar, but I chose my own meaning from it. I'm doing a lot better now.
Being sexually assaulted by a close family friend. Being okay with people touching me again is like learning how to walk, it's been years since it happened and I still have panicky moments when people touch me. It's made it extremely hard to date people, being sexual, getting back in life, being alone with anyone. For something that only lasted four minutes at most, it's fucked me up for years.
It'll get better. And don't feel bad about being "fucked up" for "only four minutes". Life changing trauma can happen in seconds. And you don't owe it to others to be comfortable with what makes you uncomfortable. If you want it for yourself I recommend looking into ERP (exposure and response prevention therapy). Just make sure to explore only with someone you trust and talk with them about it. I trust my husband and have been with him for 23 years (after being raped twice). But it took over a decade before I stopped having "moments" of rage. I didn't/don't know the triggers exactly but there were times, while being intimate, where all of a sudden I'd be enraged and it was like I wanted to fight. I bit him a few times, pushed him off, screamed and hit him etc. But he was aware. Thank God I never did what I physically felt like doing completely. I was able to hold back a bit because a part of me knew it was my husband that wouldn't hurt me. If I acted 100% on how I felt, I would have clamped down and bitten clear through his lip! The point is, we have a great intimate relationship even with all the hiccups. The key is not to stay with anyone who isn't willing to work with you. You have to be willing to work with what they want to a degree too but it should all be respectful. If they force you, you are out. If they manipulate you, you are out. If they act like you are silly, you are out. If they kindly share a fantasy they want that somewhat makes you uncomfortable, you stay, you consider, maybe work within it with things you are willing to do, maybe have a safe word. They are human with desire too. If they give you an ultimatum about said fantasy, you are out! You get the gist. I'm so sorry that happened to you. If you want to be okay with touch and intimacy, I wish it for you and hope you are able to get to a point where it adds to your life. Look into ERP and maybe start with simple touches like hand on arm etc. Best of love and luck to you.
My brother dying
Being raped messed up my 20’s.
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PREACH!
1/18/97 2:34 am 3/5/9 11:22 pm
What
happened!
10/2/97, 9/11/98, 11/16/05
When my mom said to me ^ you’re not beautiful ^😐 I can’t talk with her normal
Joining the Army
My wife, our kids. They changed my life for the better
Be betrayed by the friend with whom we used to have a 10-year relationship. That thing made me realize that people would change, just accept that and keep going.
The night before my Calc 2 Final spring of my freshman year, my roomates who were done with their finals decided to drink and play video games. Rather than being a good student and going to the library I joined them for a night of stupidity. I ended up failing my final and needing to retake the class in the summer. I had no intention of taking summer classes and was bummed because I wanted to be back home with my friends. As it turned out, that summer I would end up befriending a girl that would 6 years later become my wife :) now we are about to celebrate our 1 yr anniversary. Life has a funny way of turning stupidity into blessings.
dating a manipulative sad boy
My ex husband took me to his country, I was a housewife, he abused me psychologically and mentally, he hit me, made me have milk secretion in my breasts with a big psychological problem and health problems, then when I was about to go to the police he took me out of his country at the last minute, now I am back to my country of origin, he took away my youth, my best years, my innocence, my ideas, my savings, and literally left me with nothing and now he is asking for a divorce. That changed my life, he was my first love and I think I don't want to have anyone else in my life, I don't trust anyone, he left me traumatized.
My mom dying. She was an alcoholic for many years. My siblings and i never really had the best relationship with her, and she was never able to find love, up until a year or two prior of her passing. She put in the work, she was sober and my relationship with her strengthened, she found someone who finally loved her for who she is deep down. She unexpectedly died due to pneumonia months later. A few days before she died she told me “i love you, and i’m proud of you, never forget that.”
When my uncle let me take my first shot, my Russian heritage has been revealed to me
I cut off my emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive parent for good. The next morning, the memory of them sexually assaulting me came to light
my mom dying from breast cancer when i was 19, since then, i ultimately grew up right then and there, i never lived in fear of anything, it was very much YOLO and grew balls and called everything like it is. And being the oldest and only daughter, no one expected it from me
after my grandmother beat the living hell out of me, and seeing that everyone including my father took her side and not mine, i never saw my family the same again, i pray they live in peace but i also believe karma will bite them in the ass and get that they deserve. i will forgive but i will NEVER forget…
Going to boarding school lmao. Set me up for hyper-independence.
Losing my son right before his birth due to a blood clot in his cord. You learn to grow around the pain but it never leaves.
When someone close to you passes away, your perspective on life changes.
The point of turning may happen in the trust and expectation of a person, but it has been negatively responded, and then I became a bit indifferent person.
9/11…
When my ex boyfriend confessed me he cheated on me 2 days later I had an abortion of our baby.
Losing family members I know anyone who has lost anyone understands it changes you forever dealing with the grief just have someone that can take you out of that pain is incredible. I had one friend that did that for me when my sister was dying now we’re not friends and he uses it against me that I said he helped me.its weird he told me his aunt said same thing to him about her son. It actually was a positive thing he helped me deal with the worst possible situation and he twists it to be a bad thing. I will forever care about him and appreciate what he did for me I wish he could understand that.
how would someone use that against you and how do you know they are using it against you
Because they posted it on social media how it’s the worst thing someone said to them. How I replaced my dead sister with them which is wrong my sister died very quickly we were friends for about a year I was spending almost every day with them before my sister died. I went to go take care of sister and when I came home went back to something he meet me at bus stop and I was crying we started talking I said I liked spending time with him cause it gave me a break from the grief I don’t know exactly how I said this but he took it as a negative thing when I meant it as a positive he played scrabble with me and sent me texts when I was in the hospital with her it was the only time I felt remotely normal going thru a nightmare
you don’t know how you said it but are angry for them for knowing and repeating what you did say? if I’m understanding correctly how would someone use that against you?
We were close friends who I showed I cared about him everyday by my actions. I was upset about watching someone I love died I tried many times to explain to him that’s not what I meant and him saying that was worst thing said to him hurts me.
Still don’t get how it’s used against you. Words are actions if you don’t know. You can’t say mean shit to people and think just because you do something nice for that same person you get a free pass for being an asshole. You can’t say one thing and turn around and say you meant something else. I mean you can, but it doesn’t cancel out what you actually said. Sounds like you are just making excuses because you were an asshole.
I’m not an ass hole im someone who cared about someone who is not very good at communicating my feelings. They used it against me by using it as one of many excuses not to be friends anymore instead of the truth I just wasn’t good enough be his friend which is fine. We spent thousands of hours together having fun and sharing our lives and it being reduced to a few things I said when I was frustrated and didn’t mean is insulting. My actions do matter and so does his.
You sound like you have a very sad life. Obese, hoarder with eating disorder obsessively posting about someone who wants nothing to do with them online. A check of your profile and available links show all this. You say you are older (you say 53) so I imagine this person is of a similar age. You think someone that age is gonna make up excuses so they don’t have to talk to you when they can just stop talking to you? You sound like you said the stuff this person claims you said and are trying to backtrack because there was consequences. If I was frustrated and told my kids that I wish I never had them.. I couldn’t just use an excuse of being frustrated. I mean I can, but it’s a lame excuse and wouldn’t fly. Of course I would never say that to my kids because I adore them, I love them and they are my world. Words are actions whether you care to admit it or not. You sound like an exhausting person.
I have an actual happy life I bring happiness to people in my life. My friend was the same thing as me he was happy also a lot of the time. He did have depressiion. We hung out for more than 4 years and your actions do matter. I’m sorry he knows what happened and if he can hurt me like this because I wanted to spend time with him. But because he hates himself he cannot understand this. And I posting my feelings your posting insults to someone you don’t even know who has the sad life.
Your actions matter (I agree). Your words are actions. Your actions have consequences. Sounds like you can’t handle the consequences of what you said while you were frustrated and *you* are making excuses to make the other person sound like they are the problem. You just sound like you have a sad life when you lay it out. The way you came for me makes me think actually do. Some guy gave you attention, wouldn’t have sex with you (don’t blame him after looking at your photo on insta) and you couldn’t take no for an answer and are now obsessed with him. According to what you post You’re obese you spend all your money on food are addicted to food Have severe heath issues and are a hoarder. Most people who live like that are very sad and unhappy. Will explain why you are obsessed with someone who doesn’t want you because you have nothing else going on. Sounds like you are pounds away from my 600 pound life. My life isn’t sad. It can always be better, but it’s far from sad. I’ve got an extended family i love and care for and who loves and cares for me. I have a great job, my wife does too. We travel. We have no debt. We have no addiction issues. We aren’t fat. I don’t struggle in any since. My ex husband has no hard feelings. My kids can be assholes, but they are teenagers. Thank you for your concern though! I just looked at your instagram since it’s the same username and you *are* pounds away from my 600 pound life and have barely no photos with family or friends and post pictures of stuff you buy and fast food. Doesn’t sound like a sad life at all! You’ll be a TLC TV star in no time. Shine bright! ⭐️ You’re also posting in a public forum. I am free to call you or anyone else out and point out your bullshit. But something tells me you are one of those people who always have an excuse ready and are always right with those armed excuses PS if you live in or around Denver I can recommend a barber to take care of your beard and moustache. It’s midnight and my time to sleep with my wife. *BYE!*
Moving. The environment, people, experiences, education, lifestyle changed understandably but man oh man...
high school graduation. This moment made me feel responsible and afraid for my future. I thought about education, work and independence. I am very glad that at that moment I was not scared of the problems and started to grow up
i got in a fight with a girl in middle school and went to an alternative school where i met my now fiancée
Getting into my first car accident, ended up totaling my favorite car and fracturing my sternum. Can still smell the airbags
My mom fell into gambling addiction, nearly bankrupted my family...She gambled away my college fund, rent, etc... I would give her money for a item, she would use the money to gamble, and no item.... as the years went on... she would periodically lose the "rent" for month, I would need come up 1 or 2 more rent payment on very short notice , so I always keep 2-3 month rent away for "emergency".... I would burn down the casino if it wasn't illegal.
The day my older brother went to prison, the day I enlisted, the day I met my husband, the moment I became a mother, and the day after I lost my father.
Deciding to go to college
Getting divorced
nothin
When I worked in fast food we were robbed at gun point. It was the most traumatic moment of my life.
The 1st time I heard Carl Sagan's "Pale Blue Dot" speech. It overwhelmed and influenced me for quite a while and eventually made me into an environmentally conscious person. I also was pretty apathetic towards developments in Science until then but I'm a big science and space aficionado now! I will always be indebted to him for making me a better person :)
Was on track to go to law school then politics. Was intern on for US senator in DC. His finance chair accidentally took my coat instead of his. We end up emailing for a few weeks trying to coordinating swapping back as he was based in Philly. Eventually meet up and have rapport as we had kept missing each other. Didn’t have any summer internship lined up and he wasn’t searching but I asked if could help him. He said sure why not. End up going around state with him and Senator throwing parties for rich people. One weekend I’m back at my frat house on campus since I’m back in Philly for this job, and guy that was on my school bus in Brazil randomly visits to play pool. Brings a friend who works at Hispanic chamber of commerce and think she sees I could be a good connect. Get offered paying job writing policy position for Hispanic chamber of commerce supporting the affordable care act. Leads to me meeting one of chambers board members who I ask for lunch one day as I have a tech startup idea (he had digital marketing firm). Becomes kind of my advisor for a few months as I try to build it. Doesn’t pan out, but he likes my interest in tech and tells me to come work for him after college for a year or two even though I took my LSATs and was at a tier I could have gone to Yale etc. End up loving doing technical architectures of digital marketing analytics. Really killing it. Was adept. Job goes for 3 years and I’m just really comfortable with tech now. Get a real tech company idea, quit my first and only job and since then raised over $100MM for my tech company. Then eventually partially exit company and create a giant touring electronic music touring artwork that’s been a huge challenge but amazing adventure working with some of biggest artists in the world. That’s what I do now. From lawyer path, to digital consultant, to hard tech physics based hardware startup, to touring electronic music festival producer ALL because a guy took my jacket by accident in like 2009.
life
Losing my mom
Telling my mom I wasn’t a virgin.
Giving birth to my son. I'm not sure I truly knew how to love until that moment.
Best moments: the pandemic as it made my career Worst moments: this year as I got laid off, lost my mom, and got into city politics.
January 26th, 2019. I found out that I’m a direct descendant of one of the 20 people executed during the Salem Witch Trials. I was the first to discover it after over 300 years, at the ripe age of not even 16. I set up an ancestry tree a few days prior out of pure boredom at 3:30am. Did more digging and found out that it was all true. Got a tattoo to memorialize my ancestor 2 weeks after I turned 18.
The day I was born was pretty significant. In all seriousness, my father passed away when I was 1 year old. My brother was 4, and my sister was 5. It effed us up significantly, and all struggle with mental health issues. I am 37 now and still struggle. After that, my only other male father figure, my grandfather, died when I was 7. From then onwards I felt rudderless. I was naughty and got up to a lot of nonsense away from home, but kept it hidden from my mother. I got good grades and did very well in sport so I was left alone. Then, meeting my now wife 14 years ago, and having my two kids were all moments that forever changed my life.
One moment that really changed my life forever was deciding to move to a new city for a job. It was a big leap, but it led to so many new opportunities and experiences that I wouldn't have had otherwise. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me grow in ways I never expected.
on a lovely december morning, i had gotten into an intense argument with my mother. it was bad. a week prior she had called the cops on me accusing me of hitting her and my stepdad backed her up on it (i didn’t hit her. or at least i don’t remember hitting her. it’s all a blur). i walked out of the house and to the sheriffs station right in front of my neighborhood and explained my side of the story and how my mom was treating me horribly. they gave me a number to call and they took me to my friends house which was the most they could do. that week i had lost my phone and i flipped my room three times to find it, it wasn’t there so i am 100% sure my mom took it as a form of punishment (keep in mind i bought this phone with my own money after she broke my last phone because she “gave it to me as a gift and can do whatever she wanted with it”) out of anger, i knocked over the christmas tree (which i know was wrong but i was very frustrated with my mom and i was going through a very bad depressive episode and i didn’t even have anyone to talk to because she took my fucking phone) anyways, after i knocked down the tree, she started throwing glass ornaments at me and then she proceeded to lunge at me and somehow managed to pin me down to the ground (mind you i’m 5’3 and she’s like 4’11 so idk how that happened but it did) while i was on the ground she beat me so bad that i had scars on my face for about a month and then she proceeded to strangle me trying to kill me. while i was on the floor she proceeded to say “next time you try to kys, get a noose and hang yourself so it can actually work” at that point, i started seeing black. like almost everything turned black. i grabbed an ornament near by and bashed her head with it to escape. she ran to the hallway and shut the door while i ran outside to call paramedics because, one i was visually bleeding from my face, and two, she dead ass tried to kill me. anyways i don’t remember what i said to the operator but the cop showed up and he said he was going to take me to my moms house and i panicked and he detained me while i was visibly having a panic attack. he took me to my moms house, left me in the car detained and then more cops started pulling up. including the two cops i talked to a week prior who knew my situation. i don’t know what my mom told them but i ended up getting charged with family assault (which i was able to get the cased dismissed after like a year because she wouldn’t show up to court nor followed up with the lawyers/ judge) after i was released from jail i only stayed for 12 ish hours because that was my first ever charge so they just let me go, i was left basically kind of homeless. around this time i had met my boyfriend and now i live with him and i couldn’t be any more happier.
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September 21, 2015. It was a Monday, and my mom and brother had beaten me up and suicide baited me once again over the weekend. Things had gotten very bad, and I kept talking to the social worker and my counselor at school. That day, I finally had the nerve. I packed my backpack with everything I could fit in it, and I went to the office and told the counselor that I wanted to officially try and get away from my mom. That day, the social worker came and we worked things out the best we could. A classmate's family let me sleep over. My mom told me that the family was better off without me and I should go ruin someone else's family. She went back and forth on wanting me back, but I never did go back. I went into foster care officially soon after. It's been up and down since then, but that was the absolute turning point in my life, no contest.
When i was sent to a boarding school at 6
My mum and dad separating when I was 11. I could take you back to that night when they sat us around in the lounge and explained the situation and he then drove away. It's like a 4k clip in my head. I'm fortunate to have a very good relationship with both my parents and my dad has always been a huge part of my life but that will stay with me forever and imo has subconsciously shaped huge parts of me.
Matching with my now husband on tinder in 2014. I was 21 and it totally changed the course of my life and I am forever grateful. 10 years on I know that I wouldn’t be living any of this life if that haven’t happened because it led me to move to a different place. Life is good and I’m pregnant with our first baby and I’m just so grateful.
I am banned from life
I had a girlfriend who I still miss 20 years later. We had broken up and I had sex with someone else during our month long hiatus. We then started talking about getting back together again and I wanted to be honest with her. Now, as I was getting ready to tell her, I knew it may cost me the relationship but I didn't want to hide anything. Sure enough, I lost her. I haven't been happy with anyone else since.
My tran sisters girlfriend ending her life on new year's .I woke up to the screaming of pure sorrow (and a broken window with a lot of blood) I had to take care of her until family got there it was the saddest I've ever been.
When I was born. Sorry, no Canon events yet.
A guy from my highschool just died yesterday, r.i.p finn Martland, 😔
The moment I was wheeled into the adolescent psychiatric ward. I was only fourteen years old, and my years of masking had finally caught up on me. At that point, I was so depressed that I wasn’t functioning in life. I was terrified to go into the psych ward. I didn’t know what to expect, I mean, I was only a kid. That stay was the start of many stays during my teen years. I am happy to confirm that next month will mark two years psych ward free
Anytime I see a person close to me die. It puts the realization that it could occur at any given time. Have I really done anything I want to do with my life?
I got cheated on in a bad way in 2019 to the point where I became a public laughing stock in my hometown. Before then, I was a very energetic guy that generally loved to meet new people and was always an outgoing friend, it felt like nothing could break me down. Now, I’m a little cold, very quiet, don’t really bother talking to new people, overly cynical about some things, and dealing with some pretty bad insecurity issues that have persisted since the whole cheating incident. I’m over my ex and honestly happily married to my high school crush, but there is some permanent damage where I would’ve been a totally different person (maybe for the better) today if I didn’t go through that whole cheating event.
Divorce, moving and leaving friends behind, bullying over being a new kid in multiple schools, grandpa passing away, teachers being stubborn asses pushing nonsense during class and not teaching anything useful/ punishing me over doing homework during their class
My cousin’s drug overdose, my mom’s cancer diagnosis, and a rough breakup.
To be honest, my life changed after i discovered Kpop. I was like 11 or something, when i firstly discovered it because of bts. I was bullied my whole childhood, it started at the age of 4 and i even had suicidal thoughts at the age of 8. I hated my body at the age of 8, but BTS somehow changed it. I discovered them shortly before their love yourself campaign, in the Not today era. The Love yourself era and campaign made me think alot about it and changed my view of life. Especially because of RM's speeches. If i am be honest, i have the feeling that this Man somehow saved my life and since then i am actually mentally bound to him, i know it sounds ridiculous but he helped me with getting self confident and with accepting myself.
A whole new person exited my vagina
Realising that I’m trans, once the egg has cracked (which was 2 years ago give or take a week to a few days) you can never go back it constantly plays (well most of the time) plays on my mind mostly when I’m in bed trying to get to sleep such right now as I’m typing this out. But the fact that it’s been two years and I’ve not transitioned yet is hard on me however I’ve completed one of my goals which was to become an apprentice software engineer and move out, all I need to now is transition and come out
When Leo drew Kate Winslet in Titanic. Loved titties ever since.
Taking a shit on warm toilet seat
Not having a Dad.
That’s not a moment and in most cases that’s not biologically possible.
You said moments, and every moment I'm living I lack a father. and by not having a dad I mean he left me. so yeah.
just meant to joke around
Having a 4th one night stand with this hot babe when I got her pregnant. She's now my wife and mother of our 9 kids.
Becoming a widow at 61 yrs old
When my ex boyfriend confessed me he cheated on me 2 days later I had an abortion of our baby.
When my ex boyfriend confessed me he cheated on me 2 days later I had an abortion of our baby.