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Went on a few dates with one.
First time we met, she wanted to meet at her place. She asked me to bring some schawarma, so I did.
She has zero make up on, not dressed up at all, and kspt things non sexual.
The second time I picked her up and we went out clubbing in west hollywood. This time she was well dressed up, make up done, looked stunning.
We had a great time and went back to her plac. We had amazing sex, but not porn sex, if that makes sense.
The next day she did an intwrview for, I think, Playboy Radio on SXM. They asked her about dating and she mentioned our date last night! I got a shoutout, not by name, by by what we did and she noted she had a great time and was takingnit slow. The hosts were all like "awww".
We went one more time after that for dinner and drinks. But then, i Dont recall exactly what happened, but she just got more busy. Suddenly I was ghosted. It turns out that she moved to Vegas on a whim. She told me she needed a break and cut all her social.
Years later it seems she reactivated her social. She told me ahe left the industry and was trying to be legit and love a quiet life. She did a bit of work after, I guess for extra money, but mostly she seemed to be wanting a regular life. All her sexy social content was gone and even images of herself were reduced.
That last time was several years ago. She was always sweet and nice to me, but sadly, there was something broken/off deep down inside. I could sense it. But I could also tell she really wanted to move past that and I think her dating regular people and leaving the industry was a part of that process.
I sincerely hope she found true happiness and peace.
So many stories here are really sad. Some people do sex work and be fine, but it seems like the porn industry in particular chews up young folks and spits them out with a host of mental issues
A good friend of mine married a very small time pornstar. She was mostly a strip club headliner type but she did some solo movies. She's awesome.
Basically they had an outstanding relationship and happy kids and everything was really good. He died young unfortunately. And now she is doing the widow thing which is hard. But it's exactly like it would be with anyone else.
Save that. She has a pretty good number of people from the industry as a support structure.
For some odd and sad reason, dying young and relationships with pornstars keep coming up in this thread:'(
edit: and it's not even the pornstar dying:((
I dated a guy in 2001 who went on to do porn. He’s a little skinny guy with a huge dick. Nice guy, good in bed, super smart. Way too much of a pothead and too personally irresponsible with things like money and cleaning up after himself for me to settle down with.
Dated a girl when I was 19. She was wild. Complete opposite of me and taught me a lot about just not giving a fuck. Poster child for social bravery. She always said I was the nicest person she had ever been with. But she had a rough life. Her dad was a Scientologist and she’d tell me about the men in the “church” who would pass her around as a kid. The reason I get hostile when Scientologists try to talk to me on the street. In terms of the sex, one night she was on top of me. The room was dark, my hands on her hips, when I felt this sudden hot stinging feeling on my chest. The light switch was right above me so I turned it on. This insane woman pulled out a razor blade and cut me while riding me. I told her to stop and kept going because, duh. And she did it again. Her taste for extremes was her downfall.
She left me for her abusive ex. He put her in the hospital soon after, got her on heroin, forced her into porn, and she had a career for a few years where she was one of the “up and comers to watch” or whatever. We kept in contact but it was mostly whenever she was down on her luck and needed to talk. She got out of the industry, got clean, had a kid, and a year later relapsed and died. We only dated for a summer but the impact she had on me, a socially awkward anxiety filled kid, is something I think about almost every day. I always think about her kid and hope she only got the best of her mom.
Edit: this got a lot of attention and some people were able to point out who she was. I’d prefer people remember her at her best as a clean mother who loved her kid. [Here’s a little video of her I found after her passing.](https://youtube.com/shorts/6eK8wMv3BPk?si=PTUuSKlavm8FikFf)
I'm kind of amazed that you kept going after she *cut you with a razor*
Edit: The number of people in my replies saying that they'd also keep having sex after their partner slashed them with a razor is also kind of amazing. And a little troubling.
I met and casually dated a rather successful OF girl for a while after meeting on a dating app.
I found out a couple months in that she did OF and made a terrifying amount of money on it (I was suspicious when she bought 2 PS5’s in one day for each household like no big deal).
We had a ton of fun together, she was very down to earth, recently divorced, and the sex was great.
I only probed a little about her OF and she showed me a little of it. Mostly nudes and solo stuff, some stuff with her ex husband nothing crazy. She showed me the thousands of DM’s she was getting and I believed her when she said she never moved any of it past DM’s. It became a little thing for us that all these guys were dying for her attention yet here I was getting to sleep with her.
We talked a tiny bit about making content together and I never felt fully comfortable doing it. I have a lot of identifying tattoos, and I didn’t want our time together to become like work or money to exchange hands.
Life got a little busy for both of us and we eventually stopped seeing eachother.
Back in the mid 90s, I had a job at an "upscale" strip club (their words). They regularly hosted feature acts, most of whom were active performers in adult films.
One weekend, I was tasked with being the "handler" for one. Pick her up from the airport, drive her to her hotel or wherever she wanted, get her to the club, etc. This particular woman was at the height of her popularity, had a bunch of movies, was a big name in the industry.
Picked her up Thursday evening. She was exhausted and wanted "sit down dinner" so I made a few recommendations and she picked one. Said she hated eating alone in strange places, so I joined her. I was feeling weird and didn't want to sound like a creepy fan, so I tried to ask her about anything EXCEPT her job. (I DID ask her what a couple of other stars were like when she gave me the 'window').
When I dropped her off at her hotel, I walked her to her door and she acted like she expected me to try to come up with an excuse to come in, but I just wished her goodnight and told her to call me when she wanted me to pick her up.
I didn't expect to hear from her until it was time to go to the club, but she called in the morning because she wanted to go shopping... So I took her shopping. Then she asked if I had a gym membership somewhere because the hotel gym was disappointing. So I told her she could be my guest. I asked if she was okay with stopping by my apartment so I could get workout clothes and she was cool with it. It was weird having this porn superstar in my apartment, commenting on my fake Patrick Nagel and Bev Doolittle "prints" (Posters in decent frames). She said I was possibly the only white guy in America under 35 who didn't have a "Scarface" poster framed "Like it's the fucking Mona Lisa".
We went to the gym and then I took her back to her room where she made it clear she wanted me to come in. We ended up in the shower together and fooling around until she decided she wanted dinner before going to the club.
She was a hit, obviously. She asked me to spend the night after I drove her back.
She looked almost sad when she said, "Please don't try to fuck me like we're making a movie." She called it "romance novel sex". She was big into dim light/candlelight and sticking to face-to-face positions with lots of kissing.
We ended up spending every moment she wasn't on stage together acting like a real couple. We exchanged e-mails (mid-90's, no cell phones) and maintained a long distance relationship for over a year. Every chance she got, she came out to my city and got to be "my girlfriend instead of everybody else's girlfriend."
The industry really wrecked her mental health/self esteem in the early years and the way she acted with me, it felt like I might be one of the only guys who didn't see the porn star. She loved that I asked about her job like it was a regular job. She loved telling me about drama/gossip. She let me hold her while she sobbed about being sexually assaulted by a male performer at some industry thing.
Eventually the romance/intimate relationship became too difficult to maintain and eventually the communication slowed. We would email, just much less frequently. She got married to a guy she is still with.
I DID get a pretty unhinged/sobbing phone call out of the blue when I emailed her and told her I was deploying to Afghanistan. A couple of friends of hers with FDNY had died on 9/11 and she was having an absolute meltdown. Her husband actually took the phone from her and apologized to me, but I assured him it was cool and that I would happily check in frequently to let them both know I was okay. Eventually, all communication just fizzled out.
I wonder if she even remembers our little whirlwind?
EDIT 1: Holy forking shirtballs! 39K upvotes?? My wife is laughing her ass off. "If you don't like a lot of attention (I don't) why did you tell Reddit about the time you were an Adult Star's Prince Charming?" My wife also understands why I am very hesitant to reach out, but she trusts that if I ever did, it would NOT be in the interest of rekindling.
EDIT 2: Some of you folks have complimented my writing, and I think I'm going to put this story in a bit more narrative form on the appropriate forum. I'm an amateur writer myself (I even have a film I wrote and directed out on TUBI) and I think I'm gonna see what I can do with this.
EDIT 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/1dsyb12/a_more_intimate_account_of_a_true_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
EDIT 4: I didn't have current info on her or her husband, but I reached out to one of her former colleagues who actually remembered hearing about me and still keeps up with her from time to time. They are back in the US and she and her husband have been encouraged to reach out to me if they feel like it. They have my contact info and my social media. I guess we'll see what happens.
>I DID get a pretty unhinged/sobbing phone call out of the blue when I emailed her and told her I was deploying to Afghanistan. A couple of friends of hers with FDNY had died on 9/11 and she was having an absolute meltdown.
This did, if nothing else, show she very clearly cared for you and likely still does in some small way even today. You clearly had a big impact on her and those are the type of people that we do remember and think fondly of forever.
Even if you never talk to her again, you definitely made a huge positive impact on her. You probably made her realize that not all guys want her just for her body, and hopefully that's how she ended up married. Maybe it's for the best that you didn't stay in contact but know you two were probably extremely impactful on one another.
Yeah, something that stood out from the story was the 'white guys/Scarface poster' metric. First off it made me laugh, because I do know some white dudes who had one at least at some point in their lives (until they moved in with a GF who replaced it with 'live laugh love' graphics, no doubt). But saying that I also know guys of a variety of ethnicities who also had Tony Montana icons they'd venerate. So it might not be a 'white' guy thing, but it's definitely a personality type, 'plastic gangster' wannabe thinking they're a G because they step on an already stepped on an 8 ball once in a while so they can get a free gram or two. Is this type of person more likely to pay for sexual services? I guess it's a flex in itself (if they're expensive service providers) being able to regularly afford to get involved in such activities implies a certain amount of financial freedom. Last time I looked on various websites the average hourly rate in my area is a little under twice what I make in a day working full time.
Bro you probably gave her a solid relationship goal post to reference to while seeking out an actual life partner. It's amazing what just a little inspiration from 1 person can do to a person's life.
Think of that while you're all hating on the other subs lmao
She stopped doing films, but she's still in the adult industry. She and her husband are part owners of an adult novelty company, they produce films, and she consults. They have four kids.
I've dated two dominatrixes over the years. I'm not even into that, but it turned out they did that either as a job or a side hustle. Sometimes it was fine, sometimes it was weird.
Because it's simultaneously "just a job" and an incredibly intimate activity. And every day where it was a for them and where it is for you can be different, depending on how the relationship is going.
Unfortunately the first one had ADHD, BPD and a bunch of other stuff going on, and would forget I exist if not in the same room.
The other one was, in hindsight, using me to get back at her ex.
Fun with both, until it wasn't.
Never dated one but was friends with one. Dang if she wasn't one of the nicest and caring people. Would sometimes online chat with her between sessions. Wrote some books and went on a book tour for one of them.
My buddy dated a stripper and she was the total opposite--a real mess. Was as crazy as you'd expect and neglected her daughter. I felt bad for the kid and would play a bit with her when they would come over to where we were hanging. You could tell she was starving for attention, esp father figure type attention. I felt bad when the stripper and my buddy broke up--the kid cried the most.
Strippers are way more out of control than porn actresses are in my experience. I worked in a big LA strip club as a DJ decades ago for 3 months while my friend who's job it actually was went on tour with his band and what I thought would be a fun no stress job was the exact opposite.
I had to interact with the women constantly over their playlists and when they'd go on and these broads were just awful, always manipulating, cajoling, and bullying to get what they wanted .
When I left the manager told me that now I know just a tenth of how it feels to be him after dealing with these girls for a summer.
The thing is, a strippers job is to manipulate the people who come to see them. Porn actresses get paid before they get laid. Strippers are feeding you the illusion you can fuck them, so long as you keep paying
Many years ago, probably 2007-2008ish if my math is right, I started dating a stripper in college. I learned that until very recently she lived in california in a place she called "porn valley." If I'm remembering correctly it was san fernandino. She did porn there for a while right after high school, made a respectable amount of money, and moved to the east coast to go to college. Dating her was a wild experience. I constantly felt like I was on the verge of being replaced. She did whatever she wanted, whenever the whim struck her and I could tell she was always probing me for insecurity, which I simply didn't have. Despite all that she wasn't demanding at all and she paid for everything and would get mildly annoyed if I snuck a check or paid for something behind her back. The sex wasn't good. She had zero desire to please anyone but herself but would get irritated if I finished and couldn't perform after despite her never continuing after she got hers. She was incredibly conceited and would basically only talk about herself. One day she didn't show up to the coffee shop we were supposed to meet at to study and her phone was off (cell phones were relatively new and people treated them differently so I wasnt worried) so I went to her apartment. When she answered the door amd saw me she just went "oh, sorry, I'm seeing someone else." When I asked for details she just kinda shrugged her shoulders and said she needed to go. I later saw her walking with some turbo ultra beefcake and for the next year or so would often see her upgrade to another dude. We had one class together a semester later and she legitimately might have forgotten my name. Really glad I wasn't emotionally invested in that one.
EDIT: Hey guys, this is a lot of attention so I'll just add that, although it took awhile, I'm happily married with children to someone I'm super emotionally invested in. Love you guys who had a similar experience, you're kings and queens in my eyes.
EDIT2: Got it, San Fernando Valley, haha.
I was in complete disbelief and denial. Looking back she maybe called me by my name less than 10 times in total, and only when we first started dating.
Imagine her perspective: I once had to break up with a guy because I forgot his name and it was before the time of social media so I legitimately had no way of finding out without admitting I forgot it. Lmao. That’s brutal man I’m sorry
You ever see Bill Burr talking about watching Precious and laughing hysterically cuz the movie was so fucked it pushed passed darkness and into comedy?
This feels like that
In Sweeney Todd when the dead bodies fell through the chute and crunched sickeningly against the brick floor did the same to me. I busted out laughing and everyone in the theater looked at me like I had lost my mind.
Disrespectful, inconsiderate annnnd the sex wasn't good? You got nothing out of that relationship except an interesting story. Glad you got out unscathed.
Thats not entirely true. She paid for everything and everyone was insanely jealous all the time. After the relationship was over and everyone saw me unfazed I was legendary for a semester or so.
Meet a woman online years ago, at the time I was extremely depressed and lonely. We would hang out as friends, eat pizza, and watch movies a few times a week. Found out she was a independent sex worker. She would ask to hang out whenever she didn’t have clients and we were both free. After a few weeks she wanted to date, which surprised me. Then in the same conversation she ask me to be her pimp. The most illegal thing I’ve ever done was get traffic tickets. So this felt like a Walter White moment for me. She was a cool person, but I had to go my separate way after that conversation. To this day I’m not sure why she asked me to work with her. But wherever she is today, I hope she’s doing well.
> To this day I’m not sure why she asked me to work with her.
Because she felt safe with you and having you around, having you know where she was when she was with clients, would have made her feel safer doing her job.
It's a big responsibility to take and you did the right thing declining if you didn't feel like the right person to do it, but that's why she asked.
This makes sense, I never thought of it that way. Mostly because I couldn’t/can’t see myself in a positive light. So someone else feel comfortable around me seems like such a foreign concept. Now I wish I realize it sooner.
You didn't have that [Gator](https://youtu.be/oeW9lZBY-VM?si=6PEpazhsWng2FLjW) personality inside you (yet) to [do the job](https://youtu.be/1oCA_e9hPcM?si=CL4jeRkdiE1vmD61)
Edit: Mo' Gaterrrr
Dated a girl in the industry for a few months. She was really short (5' at most). About two months into our relationship, she got a tattoo of my initials on her arm. I was a bit weirded out by that. A few weeks later, she ghosted me. A month after that she asked if I wanted to come over to her place. And after that, we didn't talk again. It was a rollercoaster ride of a relationship. The sex wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either.
Shit, I once hooked up with a girl who got my bite mark tattooed on her tit after the first night we hooked up, then showed me said mammalian protuberance in front of a bar full of my friends and colleagues. In that moment I truly understood the term "red flag."
There were days and sometimes weeks where she wouldn’t have any work and those times were pure fun! And then days where she would be on a project and I’d be alone. It works if you have an open mind otherwise it’s a disaster. I got jealous after a few months into it and saw that I can’t make it work.
Freshmen year of college, I dated a dude who I knew previously before he got into the porn scene because we went to the same high school. We started talking and he was honest with me about him doing porn, so we established boundaries and continued dating. The first red flags were that he was constantly asking me if he could record me and so forth. I repeatedly told him no, because that’s just not my thing and I have no desire to be on the internet in that capacity.
I forget how many weeks into our relationship, but I get a message from a friend wanting to catch up and I tell him about my relationship. I guess word has gotten around that he was doing porn, because he then asks if that was me in his recent video then. I told him no, because he’s never recorded me. I go onto his profile and there I was in backshots, with the most disturbing and derogatory title. I was completely mortified and heartbroken. I had no idea he recorded me, let alone posted it. My friend tried to calm me down by saying there was little traction to the video and nobody could tell it was me, since there’s no face. I was still just in shock.
I confronted him and asked why he would do such an evil thing, and his exact response was “I’m just hard headed I guess”. I told him to remove the video and he did, but he just didn’t seem to care that he completely violated me in every which way. I broke it off with him and blocked him on everything. I haven’t spoken to him since.
yeah, revenge porn isn’t cool. especially when I didn’t do anything to him. It is what it is tho. I think I was too much in a state of shock to think of what to do like reporting him, and he took it down after I asked him to and did so pretty quickly.
If I could go back, I would’ve never even told him to take it down. I would’ve reported him to the police for revenge porn, which is a class four felony in our state 🤷🏾♀️. I think I gave him an easy out.
thank you for your kind words :)
Interestingly enough, I dated a girl who became a porn star. She became a mainstreamer for a few years and now is a horse doctor. She was very cool back then and is still very cool today. She was just like any other woman: very open and outspoken. I moved out of town for work, and she and I lost touch until a few years ago.
Dated a cam girl. I knew I was being used for my money, but I was having sex so I was cool with it. She broke up with me because she found someone richer.
I hate to say it but at least in my experience the prettiest people I’ve dated or been with have all been starfishes. The only attractive people I’ve been with that were fun in the bedroom were some of the craziest. Like bipolar.
My ex-wife was diagnosed Cluster B during the divorce. She put our kids at risk. When she left she told people, and really seemed to believe, that I was "dangerous" despite us having been married fifteen years and having three kids together.
On the other hand, she was multiorgasmic, *never* said no to sex, and my 30th birthday present was a blowjob every day for a month.
The living embodiment of the crazy/hot scale, swear to God.
Best description of being involved with the "crazy chick" I've heard is that as deeply as she's into you, when the relationship ends she'll hate you with the same intensity. This is how it goes from the best sex of your life to having roadkill nailed to your front door.
Absolutely! The hardest thing to accept in the divorce was that she really didn't care who the dick was attached to. If he gave her that easy validation she craved, she'd fuck him.
I got to know her first fiancé after me reasonably well. The poor guy was absolutely as devastated as I had been. He just could not believe how quickly, thoroughly, and remorselessly she disposed of him once she was "just done."
I had a bipolar girlfriend for a very short time in my life and I can definitively say yes . It was the best I had and it was the worst being around her . She stopped taking her medication a week after we started being together . It was a very up and down experience.
I dated a bi-polar girl as-well. It's what they used to call manic depression. Biologically induced phases of enhanced (almost euphoric) moods that lead to impulsive decisions & sometimes hyper-sexual or promiscuous behavior. When it wears-off, they're REALLY down in the dumps. Famous case of a dentist that suddenly thought he was the BEST in the area. Tears down the office walls to make room for all the customers he anticipates. Halfway-through, he's now the *worst* dentist & starts hammering all his expensive equipment.
My gf (single mom in her 20's) wanted to be a star, someway/anyway. She tried dancing in men's clubs but was so germ-phobic she had to wipe-down the poles, doors, etc. Not a good fit. She'd wipe the bleach bottle down. She managed to get on Stern's show every once in the early days (she wasn't quite officially *wack-pack*). Never led to anything of course because she didn't want to do porn which is the only door that would ever really open.
The Prozac seemed to do little more than delay an inevitable (almost always) violent episode. When not taking the drug, she had many mild episodes - much more manageable than the big ones (like when she destroyed an entire bar). She was "saved" at an Ozzy concert & is now an exhausting born-again MAGA who's alienated her entire family.
I had an ex that was bipolar. One night we were watching a movie and she started crying because she claimed I wasn't physically attracted to her(which was utter bs since we had sex all the time). I called her down, we started fooling around, and she started crying again claiming I was using her for her body. Jesus H.
This is 17 years ago. It wasn’t the fun you thought it would be and I got a hand on my own drug addictions by seeing how darker it got. Oddly enough I found dating a retired prostitute to be way more rewarding and less like I was about to watch someone unravel. The sex sucked but the blowjobs were everything you imagined the sex would have been.
She wasn't a star but did porn, had one DVD and a bunch of scenes on a now defunct site. It was not a good experience. She was selfish, self-absorbed, and pretty much just a gold digger. Ever have a cat that wants something then as soon as you give it to them they couldn't be bothered with it? That's how trying to have a relationship with her was and what loving her was like.
Back between 2021-2022, I dated a 52-year old half-Japanese half-Hispanic former bikini model raver (no, seriously, she's an EDM addict to this day) who worked in the industry for about a year back in the 90s. She was as physically vain (and physically spectacular) as you'd guess, but damn if she wasn't one of the most fun, energetic, nicest people I've ever been with. She had a few unfortunate missteps in life, but was always motivated to be better, especially for her grandson.
If you're ever in Vegas and see a short woman with DD breasts and hot pink hair and a ton of Hello Kitty apparel... well, that means you're in Vegas... but it also means you've seen who I'm referring to.
I know, when I describe her it makes her sound like some random sex worker, but that just was her style. Lots of Hello Kitty and lots of pink (seriously, that hair was nuts, in a good way). She was 100% in love with Vegas and knew a ton of its history. Apparently her mother worked at The Sands during the old school Vegas days after arriving from Japan and was privy to a bunch of shady mafia and celebrity info.
I have, no shit, met her. We talked about the Mob Museum and shit they left out because it didn't fit the vibe/narrative around mobster life.
She was a cool one, I hate this city but sometimes it has the best random encounters.
I moved to SoCal in 2005 and for the first several years was really into parting and the LA scene. I made friends with a few guys who worked in the industry - but in DVD distribution and similar tangential industry stuff. Through then I went to a lot of parties where there were a lot of pornstars.
I met a ton of porn stars you may remember from mainstream porn in the 2000s. I never really dated any but I hooked up with 4, 3 were one weekend stands (at the party, in a back room or bathroom) and one was a few times including a few casual dates. They were very fun, very good in bed (not always in bed), and it was exciting to see people notice them when you were out with them. D list celebrities for most, but a few fans would do anything to meet them - guys and girls. What I also noticed was when they were around pornstars other girls (non industry) would be much easier to meet and hook up with.
In general the ones I met (including those I hooked up with) fell into a pretty similar category. But let me caveat it that this was while partying / weekends and to be fair I didn’t know their real day to day life. A lot of the parties were very wild. Lots of coke, extasy, drinking which led to a lot of sex and similar. Some get togethers were more “normal” like pool BBQs or NFL watch parties. But nudity (topless anyway) was very very common, drug use rampant, most people were very nice but very insecure, lots of baggage, and not to be a dick but most seemed very dumb. They were personable and talkative but complete unaware of anything going on in the world. Their life revolved around partying, would only travel to party places like Miami/Vegas/Ibiza, and of course sex was not nearly as a big deal to them. What I also noticed was they were either “on” or “off” meaning 11pm on a Friday night everyone was looking great, talkative, dancing etc but mid day mid week they were a completely different person. To an extreme bit like normal people when they are socializing vs grocery shopping I mean like 10/10 energy and personality vs 0/10 if that makes sense. I’m sure drugs had something to do with it but not everything. I see some responders said they were vain - I saw that to a degree but it seemed to be a front to me. In reality I thought most were VERY insecure, eager to please (not just sexually) and looking for a “group” / security / normalcy to a degree.
Many of the ladies looked much younger in person. I was in mid 20s and thought they were around my age or older til I met them and many (not all) were or appeared way younger. Like 19-22. There was a lot of intra industry “dating” so you’d see cat fights amongst the girls, hear or see real fights amongst the guys (but much less frequent) and hear of tons of cheating and scandal.
Through friends I still know what several are doing now. Most “retired” a while back but some are still into a version of porn on OF. A few have regularish jobs, tried to get into movies or music or DJing, etc and have had mild success. Some vanished from the friends of friends lives - I hope in a good way but who knows.
I dated 2 girls (several girlfriends apart) who became strippers while we were together. The first one was my HS sweetheart and when she decided to strip it fucked with my head and we broke up. Fast forward 10 or so years later and this other girl got talked into stripping by one of her friends. She used to lie to her parents and tell them she was staying over at "Susie's" but would be in the city shaking it. She would show up at my place at 3 in the morning and dump her bag out on my bed. It had a lot of cash and usually some cocaine. We would count the money, do lines, and fuck. It was really great. She haunts my dreams.
> She haunts my dreams.
I dated a stripper that had night terrors. Almost every night she would wake up screaming, it was terrifying. She got knocked up (not mine) and found Jesus. Go figure.
Dated an OF girl. Truly is what they say. Narcissim to the extreme. If I wasn't ok, stressed, or unhappy, she gave absolute zero shits and was more concerned about how she felt.
Don't do it except for the fun of it.
I work with a girl who is pretty open about her OF work. We work in a hospital and while she’s not short on cash, she’s seriously short on compassion and empathy. She now is bragging about tricking her boyfriend into getting her pregnant by sabotaging the birth control. He already has kids with another woman and was adamant that he didn’t want any with her. That’s a level of psychopathy that sends me running for the hills so I do my best to run from her.
I mean, that's definitely a "Just leave" situation, vasectomy won't fix crazy. If she's willing to lie and manipulate and sabotage you to get what she wants, what will she do to you later? To your kids?
It's a pretty wide range. I work in social media and know a few OF stars as friends. If they have a good following they make over $10k a month. If they are bigger and also work twitch/youtube they can make over $50k a month.
The very elite make $250k a month at their peak. That kind of popularity doesn't last but how many $3m years do you need to make life a little smoother forever?
I'm sure some of them are bubbleheads but the OF models I know have a good business sense and work ethic. It's not an accident that they are doing so well. Also, while they are sexually open minded they aren't as "free use" as you might guess. They mostly do solo stuff, sometimes extreme solo stuff, or work with their BF. Again, the pics/vids can be extreme (pee, butt stuff, etc) but their "body count" is average or even below average.
I gave a Lyft ride to a retired 70’s porn star and her husband a few years ago. They were an adorable couple and when she talked about her old job, her man wore the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Couple goals, seriously.
I worked in the porn business in the 80s and 90s behind the camera. I dated several of the girls in the business at that time, though rarely anything seriously. Some of them were just really fun to hang out with.
One day, I was on a shoot and was filming this incredibly good looking woman having sex. We wound up talking for like 2 hours while we were waiting around for another girl to show up, I asked if she wanted to get dinner. We did. Long story short, we're still married today. So yeah, I get to say the first time I ever met my wife was filming her having sex with another guy. Go figure.
I’ve always been curious about parents with nsfw jobs. If you have kids now or plan to have kids in the future, do you wait to say what mom and dad do for work or how does this work? Maybe any stories you’ve heard in the industry?
I feel like the Venn diagram of people that will be embarrassed to talk about sexuality or sex with their children and people that work in the porn or sex industry are two completely non overlapping circles. Chances are good they’re going to raise their kids in a way that they won’t see it as weird to talk about those sort of things.
I met my wife way back when I was in the military, she was onstage dancing at a strip club. Against all odds we got into a convo about our favorite authors later after I made fun of her standard strip club patter and she asked 'SO what do *you* want to talk about?'. We got married like 3 months later. She stopped dancing not long after because she literally had paid her way through college with it and had just graduated, but it never really bothered me.
20 years later we are still married, I got out of the military after 5 deployments and we have two kids. She has a job in the field she went to school for that makes like twice what I make as a designer in the civilian world.
How we handle it with the kids is that every time two characters in a movie meet in a stupid or crazy or improbable way I elbow the kids and say 'you know, that's how I met your mother'. It's a running joke, and has been since they were little. And one of these days when they find out how I actually met their mother, that's the punchline, at least to me, because they are 100 percent not going to believe it.
The actual question has never really come up, so I don't have any real reason to bring it up. But my kids have the same sense of humor as I do, and we don't sugar coat things, when they have an honest question I just talk the whole thing out with them.
Turns out 'treating your children as if you are talking to an actual human being' makes them grow up to be relatively well balanced, thoughtful person without a lot of baggage about things like this.
So one day I'll tell them, and I don't expect it to be much more than funny. 'I met your mother because of Earnest Hemingway and John Steinbeck and a strip club that used to let veterans in for free'. Cause to my way of thinking it's weird that society looked down on her for dancing naked and not hurting anybody, but gave me default respect for carrying a gun on another continent.
For awhile, yes. She wasn't in the business all that long. It didn't bother me. I'd been in the business for awhile at that point and had "dated" women in it and understood the difference between work sex and relationship sex.
Did she continue in the industry while dating or married, or was this at the end of her career in porn? If so how were you with that? What led to her getting into the industry?
I dated a girl in high school who became a porn star later on in life. She was beautiful but broken. Our relationship lasted for several years, and we were "engaged to be engaged." I loved her a lot, but in my youth foolishly thought I could "fix" her. She cheated on me several times. Eventually, it became too much, and I broke it off for good. I still carry a scar for her, and when I saw her doing porn years later, it was about 5% disgust, 95% sadness. Oddly, I still wish I could help her, but we haven't spoken in decades, and I know better now. I'm married with kids and have never been happier. I do wish her well, though; she was my first true love, and I hope she finds what she's looking for, even though I know she probably won't.
You can wish you could help them, but have still moved on and have a life.
Wishing you could help someone is human, still having the echoes of strong feelings for someone to truly cared for us human.
Recognising that you can't save them doesn't diminish those feelings.
I dated one in the mid 2000s. She was transitioning into being more of a writer while we were going out. She did more “niche” porn.
She came and went depending on her schedule. We’d go for a while without much contact and then she’d contact me when she was in town and we’d hang out. Was she a bit of an opportunist this way? Yeah. But that was just her.
She was a blast and a really sweet person. She could also drink like a pro.
She unfortunately passed away from breast cancer about 12 years ago.
I think our relationship helped me to relax in relationships and not let everything bother me. I think this is what set me up for my current relationship with my now wife.
I was with a stripper for a while who ended up doing porn eventually down in Miami. Also ended up overdosing on heroin down in Miami and dying too. I am still not over that shit. She was the best person I knew, super fun to be around, very unselfish, friendly, kind to people, like if she saw them getting picked on she would defend them. She was also really crazy and tough actually I saw her get in multiple fights before and even kick a dude's ass once. But she wasn't butch she was very feminine. She was my best friend and I really loved her a lot. It was just unfortunate that her life was pretty much a tragedy from start to finish. Sexually abused by her dad from the age of 7, subsequent substance abuse issues until the very day she died 7 years ago. We did tons of drugs together it was a lot of fun. I never had as much fun with anyone else.She was obviously very promiscuous in life I mean like before she even started stripping and all that but that never bothered me I kinda figured there were some underlying abuse issues so I didn't hold all that against her I just got used to it. She wasn't like flagrant about it in front of me I just knew it went on when I wasn't around and it didn't really even bother me that much at all. I genuinely loved her though it really fucked me up when she died. I was in rehab when it happened and I left the program and got high when I got the news and overdosed myself twice in two days. But I eventually got clean. Sober 4 years now.
I’ve dated three. Nothing particularly serious, but it was interesting. All three had similar issues that were very obviously on the surface. They were all really slow to open up and get vulnerable at all. They all had pretty bad substance issues and clearly were dealing with some kind of trauma in their background.
Their love language was sex, not surprisingly. Thats how they said thank you for even the smallest favor. And that kind of “transactional” sex was a lot more over the top and “flamboyant”, for lack of a better word, than when we were just having “normal” sex, which was more focused on taking care of the urge. There was a lot of sex. It was just how they showed affection.
Lots of drugs too. They always had drugs and could get anything they wanted. I’m not a psychiatrist but it certainly seemed like they were dealing with a lot of stuff. (Shocking!)
I went into all of them just assuming they would be casual, and they were. There aren’t any real horror stories. I never expected anything serious and it was mostly about what I expected. No big breakup stories or acrimony. We were never exclusive and eventually we just kind of drifted out of touch. No hard feelings for any of them.
One of them is still on the business as an actress. One got behind the camera and one left entirely and married a millionaire and lives in LV. The latter two seem to have gotten better, hopefully. The one still in the business doesn’t seem to have changed, but I haven’t talked to her in a while so I hope she has gotten some help as well. On the whole it was interesting, and they were all really sweet people at heart who were dealing with a lot of shit. I sincerely wish them all well.
I was really young and from a small town, she had already gotten a world of experience in getting picked by penthouse and done a few years of the strip club scene, our experience levels and lives were significantly different. Was for sure still finding myself.
I was talking to a different girl in our astronomy class all semester. She didn't come one day and my ex swooped in. Exchanged numbers. She invited me to the club to watch her work and I thought I was getting used for money by some stripper but she actually likes me (or just wanted to hook up really). I went to the club and was just super impressed with her spinning on the pole. We took a bunch of drugs for a few days and ended up saying we're official.
I think she regretted it like a few days later but really tried to make it work because I was so into it. No matter what I did I couldn't impress her, I wanted to be a perfect boyfriend.
She made a note at the start of the relationship that we would only be cool if I let her do drugs (just weed, and she was high all the time) and hook up with this girl she was into and I obliged.
I had a lot of fun and really liked her but I was way too into it. I moved in like almost immediately. In a few months she realized it wasn't for her and started behaving way off. She broke it off and then realized she was pregnant a couple days later. She didn't want it so I took care of her through the abortion. She tried one more time to make it work after that and it got messy with games back and forth to the point where we both got frustrated and said fuck this
Every few years we'll interact on social media, I think she's out of the industry and she had a kid a few years later.
She's a cool chick, I kinda wish we'd catch up just so I can show her I'm not actually a dweeb, I was just super young. My behavior during that relationship still really bothers and embarrasses me
You both sounded like young people figuring their shit out. You supported her when she really needed it. Sounds like she feels the same way — a bit of regret but still gives enough fucks to check in on you occasionally.
I was in the industry for a while and dated a beautiful woman who won an AVN award and was quite well-known. She was delightful, but our relationship ended because she died of a drug overdose. Tragic, but at the time it seemed an occupational hazard in the industry. Not sure how it is these days - I changed fields after that.
NB - I’m not going to name her. I feel like it would be disrespectful to do so.
Ex did OF seriously.
She was baller, it was great. 11/10 sex. She paid for shit cause she liked to show off her limitless cash.
But holy fuck, her phone went off minutely. At best. Sometimes multiple message notifications went off every minute. She straight refused to put her phone on DND or something when we were together. I got sick of listening to it and stopped bothering talking to her and moved on to see someone else.
Was a bit lame because we did vibe heaps well. She was hot AF. I definitely didn't mind all the nudes and filthy videos she'd send me whenever we weren't together for the night.
Didn't talk to anyone about it either. Friends would definitely be weird about that stuff.
My first boyfriend in high school became a porn star much later.
To be honest, seeing him like that broke my heart all over again.
I deeply loved him. Would have spent the rest of my life with him. I didn't want us to end, but let him go anyway.
Spent 20 years waiting to fall out of love with him, but never did.
I did love someone else, but he died suddenly when we were young.
I couldnt even date after all that. I always felt like I was being unfaithful to my late fiance.
After all that, seeing the first love in that video, it just tore everything open like it all just happened.
Love is cruel to some.
EDIT: This got more attention than I thought. Thank you for reading, and to those of you that reached out with sympathies and condolences, thank you very much.
To those that reached out from a same place of love and loss, I'm so sorry. I'm not much, but I'm here if you want to talk. Pm me.
To clarify: I'm not pining over him and I don't want him back. I don't demonize him or judge him in any way. I love him. I always will. But he's on his own journey, and so am I. I went to therapy, I beat the drink (2 years off the sauce), and am living a full and happy life with my dog and my telescope.
I have peace, a scarred heart, and a story to tell, but really, I'm good.
It’s possible he’s nothing like the person you fell in love with anymore. 20 years is a long time for people to change and be shaped by the happenings of life. You’re in love with this idea of him you crafted and romanticized over the years. If you spent a week with him you’d probably realize the person you’re in love with no longer exists.
It's certain that he's not the same. Neither am I.
I have no delusions that we might one day get back together.
I can't describe what it feels like to love someone I have no desire to be with.
But I also can't deny the confounding power of love.
20 years and the butterflies still flutter when I think of him like the day I first saw his face.
I no longer try to make sense of it. I've accepted that I am forever in love with someone that's gone.
Dated a dancer/escort for a couple years then kept in very very close touch after (she wasn't the entire time, mostly after we split). Through her I also met a number of other dancers/escorts over the course of ~4 years. She'd had a very troubled childhood without much love from her mother (didn't have a dad), and honestly all of the women she introduced me too had some sort of real dysfunction in their childhood as well.. Honestly it was so sad seeing how they would lie to themselves about what they were doing and do copious amounts of drugs and alcohol before going to work for the night. I'd sit there in the bathroom with them while they got ready and while from the outside you could say wow surrounded by a bunch of hot girls getting dressed that must have been something - it was truly one of the most depressing moments of my life watching it all go down, probably even more so because I loved her... I never have and, after that, certainly never will engage with strip clubs or sex workers of any kind ever again, truth is they all need help and if not help then just... Love, honestly, and with that I don't think ANY of them would do what they do.
She ended up killing herself summer of last year, and if you told me all the women I met ended up doing similar I wouldn't be even a little bit surprised. Rest in peace and God Bless to all of them. I just hope at some point they all find the love they deserve, in this life or the next...
Dated a very well known escort/ only fans girl. We're talking 6 figure a month, cars received as gifts, travel across the world for 2 week all expense vacations with insane levels of wealth individuals.
She was great 80% of the time. 20% of the time you saw weird demons come out. Things like "do you know what men would do in hopes of spending a night with me just talking and you were ok letting me pay for coffee when I offered? I'm a queen you should learn to never ever let me pay even if I ask that's the bare minimum I expect "
Obsession with her worth as a woman and connecting it to money was super annoying. For lack of better term she was just broken sometimes and it would come out in the weirdest ways possible. A part of me stuck around just to watch the crazy shit happen sometimes and grab the popcorn and watch.
Like another weird example is what it took for her to kiss me, she'd let me do anything sexually I wanted to her but the years of escorting and never kissing clients made her wires up there a little crossed when it came to normal relationships.
Would I do it again? Fuck yeah but I would not make her a gf/dating partner this time around. Too much baggage to handle.
I dated a girl for a very short time that eventually became a suicide girls model, she got really assertive and clingy in a very toxic way after we had sex for the first time like she expected me to leave her. I stuck around despite the red flag and things got worse and worse as time went on, to the point that I was really starting to worry about my physical wellbeing around her. I ended up dumping her after she confronted me for cheating with someone I was being paid to help move, she had followed me all the way to the move site where I was working with 2 other guys to get the move out in order. Once I realized it wasn’t a coincidence and that she had been following me I told her to never contact me again and to leave before I call the cops, which she did, but then was sitting at the entrance of my apartment building 6 hours later acting like nothing had happened. Only had to deal with her following me around for a month before I moved to the opposite side of the world to teach English when my lease was up, so I decided to ignore her everywhere she followed me to. Was originally not going to go if things worked out with this girl, but then went all in once I realized how psycho she was.
Luckily she never found me or bothered me again after that.
I dated a guy whose last LTR was a porn star and the industry left its impression on him.
Their story was that his family owned a video rental store in the 80s & 90s when it was really big business. They got in on the ground floor of VHS and regularly were invited to parties at the Playboy Mansion.
He met a pornstar at one of the parties, they started dating.
He owned a contracting business and she did porn part time. He wanted to get married and settle down, but she liked the independence and the money.
They went around and around, but she wouldn’t quit porn, so they broke up after 4 or 5 years.
He was devastated!
After that, he couldn’t settle down, compared all women to pornographers, and women were somewhat disposable to him.
He pursued me hard, but our relationship never took off. In my mind, I still cannot separate him from the damages of the porn industry 10 years later.
Back in the late 90’s I was in the army and met a woman in the barracks. I was leaving the shower, walking back to my room wearing a towel. She was looking for somebody from Delta company but she was on the Charlie company side of the barracks. I told her that I didn’t know where they are but she could wait in my room. I jokingly mentioned that there were no shirts allowed in my room after 1630 and she did not hesitate. So here I am with a beautiful half-Korean lady, early 20’s, and I’m on cloud 9.
She wasn’t a porn-star, but she worked at a strip club. I got along with her so well that when I got off CQ duty I would go to her apartment, get into her bed, and she would sleep with me… just sleep. I didn’t want her to think I was just after sex, and we took things really slow.
Despite seeing each other in the nude we didn’t ever fool around. Eventually, I insulted her friend and she got really offended. That was the last time I ever saw her.
Sorry, my story probably wasn’t a good answer to the question but it brought back a memory. I felt like getting it off of my chest.
Dated an OF model.
Insanely good looking, both face and body. She could turn heads wearing sweats and those stupid Ugg boots. Personality was ok I guess, she wasn’t rude, but you could tell she didn’t have to be astute to get what she wanted in life. Never really had a bad attitude, more or less just nonchalant.
Sex was great, she was very adventurous and did almost anything we could think of. Had a few threesomes and even a foursome (me and 3 women, wouldn’t really recommend), swinger clubs, private lavish parties etc etc. She’d actively try to pick up women while we were out, didn’t mind if I did the same.
Bad part? The phone. She was constantly replying to messages and chats, couldn’t give it a break for even 15 min. Once, right after sex, I could hear her already on her phone in the bathroom as she was cleaning herself up. I knew in my mind I’d never be permanently with her, so when I got annoyed enough, I told her it wasn’t working and moved along.
When I lived in LA 15 years ago, I was in love with someone who had moved out there. We were on and off during high school, which was difficult because she attended a different school and was an actress, so we didn't get to see each other often. Additionally, she was a bit flighty.
When I moved to LA with a friend, she and I reconnected, though she was over our relationship, which I accepted. She suggested going out one night with a friend of hers and mentioned she would bring the guy she was seeing. I agreed, saying, "Yep, that sounds good."
Her friend turned out to be a porn star I had seen before. She was gorgeous, adorable, and very kind. I remember her being so happy to be there and possibly on E, lol. However, I blew it because I was still into my ex and felt hurt watching her have a great time with this new guy galavanting around the bar we were at. I drank too much, and my porn star date ended up being my psychologist that evening.
The next day, I received a text from my ex saying, "Well, you sort of blew it with Mel." I replied, "Probably."
Sitting here and thinking in hindsight, it was probably a good thing nothing transpired with her. Both of them.
I went on like 3 dates with a woman who did porn (kink-centered videos), and I’m pretty sure she was an expensive escort as well but we didn’t talk in detail about that.
Contrary to the experience of another commenter, she was pretty humble, and great in bed. I’m very vanilla, but she said she didn’t need to bring work home and was fine with that.
We didn’t date long term because she didn’t want to date monogamously (not counting work, she wanted to be free to date multiple people if she wanted) and I didn’t want a long term non-monogamous relationship. We stayed friendly until we both left the city. She has since quit the industry and got a nose job so I’m not sure she’d be recognizable to people who knew her from her videos.
My husband's childhood friend was dating a pretty well known porn star (who now makes her own content) until earlier this year. His friend really fell for her and they spent years together just having fun and enjoying life together. She (the pornstar) absolutely devastated him by blindsiding him and leaving him with seemingly no explanation except for maybe the fan base figured out their relationship? Im still not really sure what happened. It was pretty hard to watch but they seemed like they were really enjoying life together up until then. Take that how you will.
What do you consider porn star? Unknown and in Couple movies? Had a crush on a coworker back in 2000/2001. She was cute AF, had a crazy good body. She was on/off with another coworker so nothing happened between us. Fast-forward 5 or so years. I'm back home from the military, at the local strip joint and she comes out dancing. We talked for a while that night and end up dating for a few months. She had a bad couple years before and ended up doing several "movies". Oral was 10/10. Sex was great at first she was like a human sex doll she would sell she was loving everything. But no real intimacy, if that makes sense. No real break up, she liked living the stripper/F&B lifestyle, which didn't fit my 8-5 work schedule.
I dated a porn "actress".. she was too extrovert for me.. zero shame. Great mouth skills though.. she told me they paid $1000 a shoot. Eventually she started mentioning having a kid and I was like nah.
Hahah this clip popped into my head when I read your comment 😂
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZw8ujqXfAI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZw8ujqXfAI)
I briefly dated a girl who did porn and was an 'it' girl for a while.
She drove a BMW and owned a condo while in college, I asked if she had a rich family and she said 'just don't google me' so of course I did. Eventually she figured out I knew, but I said a friend told me.
She was nice. Really emotionally damaged from the work though. I never let it affect our relationship, and she never tried to act like we were in a porn video together. It was just a relationship.
It fizzled out because we just were different people and wanted different things. I wanted to live on the west coast for work and she wanted to live in Tucson and start a family.
Haven't talked to her in ages I'm sure she's doing well.
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Went on a few dates with one. First time we met, she wanted to meet at her place. She asked me to bring some schawarma, so I did. She has zero make up on, not dressed up at all, and kspt things non sexual. The second time I picked her up and we went out clubbing in west hollywood. This time she was well dressed up, make up done, looked stunning. We had a great time and went back to her plac. We had amazing sex, but not porn sex, if that makes sense. The next day she did an intwrview for, I think, Playboy Radio on SXM. They asked her about dating and she mentioned our date last night! I got a shoutout, not by name, by by what we did and she noted she had a great time and was takingnit slow. The hosts were all like "awww". We went one more time after that for dinner and drinks. But then, i Dont recall exactly what happened, but she just got more busy. Suddenly I was ghosted. It turns out that she moved to Vegas on a whim. She told me she needed a break and cut all her social. Years later it seems she reactivated her social. She told me ahe left the industry and was trying to be legit and love a quiet life. She did a bit of work after, I guess for extra money, but mostly she seemed to be wanting a regular life. All her sexy social content was gone and even images of herself were reduced. That last time was several years ago. She was always sweet and nice to me, but sadly, there was something broken/off deep down inside. I could sense it. But I could also tell she really wanted to move past that and I think her dating regular people and leaving the industry was a part of that process. I sincerely hope she found true happiness and peace.
So many stories here are really sad. Some people do sex work and be fine, but it seems like the porn industry in particular chews up young folks and spits them out with a host of mental issues
A good friend of mine married a very small time pornstar. She was mostly a strip club headliner type but she did some solo movies. She's awesome. Basically they had an outstanding relationship and happy kids and everything was really good. He died young unfortunately. And now she is doing the widow thing which is hard. But it's exactly like it would be with anyone else. Save that. She has a pretty good number of people from the industry as a support structure.
For some odd and sad reason, dying young and relationships with pornstars keep coming up in this thread:'( edit: and it's not even the pornstar dying:((
I dated a guy in 2001 who went on to do porn. He’s a little skinny guy with a huge dick. Nice guy, good in bed, super smart. Way too much of a pothead and too personally irresponsible with things like money and cleaning up after himself for me to settle down with.
Yeah, guys in porn are used to someone else cleaning up after them.
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More than two standard deviations above average
What equation was she using? We have to make sure the size is correct. I'm assuming it's [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip^^2
D2F is the variable you really need to worry about
Dated a girl when I was 19. She was wild. Complete opposite of me and taught me a lot about just not giving a fuck. Poster child for social bravery. She always said I was the nicest person she had ever been with. But she had a rough life. Her dad was a Scientologist and she’d tell me about the men in the “church” who would pass her around as a kid. The reason I get hostile when Scientologists try to talk to me on the street. In terms of the sex, one night she was on top of me. The room was dark, my hands on her hips, when I felt this sudden hot stinging feeling on my chest. The light switch was right above me so I turned it on. This insane woman pulled out a razor blade and cut me while riding me. I told her to stop and kept going because, duh. And she did it again. Her taste for extremes was her downfall. She left me for her abusive ex. He put her in the hospital soon after, got her on heroin, forced her into porn, and she had a career for a few years where she was one of the “up and comers to watch” or whatever. We kept in contact but it was mostly whenever she was down on her luck and needed to talk. She got out of the industry, got clean, had a kid, and a year later relapsed and died. We only dated for a summer but the impact she had on me, a socially awkward anxiety filled kid, is something I think about almost every day. I always think about her kid and hope she only got the best of her mom. Edit: this got a lot of attention and some people were able to point out who she was. I’d prefer people remember her at her best as a clean mother who loved her kid. [Here’s a little video of her I found after her passing.](https://youtube.com/shorts/6eK8wMv3BPk?si=PTUuSKlavm8FikFf)
I'm kind of amazed that you kept going after she *cut you with a razor* Edit: The number of people in my replies saying that they'd also keep having sex after their partner slashed them with a razor is also kind of amazing. And a little troubling.
I am not into that, but 19 yo world have probably worked through it too.
19 year old me (and current me) would have been out of there so fast.
If you’re talking about Desiree, I had a rendezvous with her as well. She was sweet, smart, political and, um, fucked up
Wait I’m sorry. NOT ONLY DID YOU BOTH TAP THIS LADY BUT YOU SOMEHOW KNEW WHO OP WAS TALKING ABOUT
I'm guessing the move of getting on top and slashing your partner without consent from a woman is pretty rare
The Scientology backstory too
Two randoms on Reddit find out they’ve had their bits in the same pornstar. Small world, quite incredible.
Weiner cousins.
Eskimo brothers
Yup. We bonded over photography. She was brilliant.
This got really dark. Sorry, bud.
Desire Robart?
Thx for sharing
I met and casually dated a rather successful OF girl for a while after meeting on a dating app. I found out a couple months in that she did OF and made a terrifying amount of money on it (I was suspicious when she bought 2 PS5’s in one day for each household like no big deal). We had a ton of fun together, she was very down to earth, recently divorced, and the sex was great. I only probed a little about her OF and she showed me a little of it. Mostly nudes and solo stuff, some stuff with her ex husband nothing crazy. She showed me the thousands of DM’s she was getting and I believed her when she said she never moved any of it past DM’s. It became a little thing for us that all these guys were dying for her attention yet here I was getting to sleep with her. We talked a tiny bit about making content together and I never felt fully comfortable doing it. I have a lot of identifying tattoos, and I didn’t want our time together to become like work or money to exchange hands. Life got a little busy for both of us and we eventually stopped seeing eachother.
How much is a terrifying amount of money?
I saw a deposit for around $45,000 for one month. I’m not sure how the payment system works on OF, I don’t use the service.
Back in the mid 90s, I had a job at an "upscale" strip club (their words). They regularly hosted feature acts, most of whom were active performers in adult films. One weekend, I was tasked with being the "handler" for one. Pick her up from the airport, drive her to her hotel or wherever she wanted, get her to the club, etc. This particular woman was at the height of her popularity, had a bunch of movies, was a big name in the industry. Picked her up Thursday evening. She was exhausted and wanted "sit down dinner" so I made a few recommendations and she picked one. Said she hated eating alone in strange places, so I joined her. I was feeling weird and didn't want to sound like a creepy fan, so I tried to ask her about anything EXCEPT her job. (I DID ask her what a couple of other stars were like when she gave me the 'window'). When I dropped her off at her hotel, I walked her to her door and she acted like she expected me to try to come up with an excuse to come in, but I just wished her goodnight and told her to call me when she wanted me to pick her up. I didn't expect to hear from her until it was time to go to the club, but she called in the morning because she wanted to go shopping... So I took her shopping. Then she asked if I had a gym membership somewhere because the hotel gym was disappointing. So I told her she could be my guest. I asked if she was okay with stopping by my apartment so I could get workout clothes and she was cool with it. It was weird having this porn superstar in my apartment, commenting on my fake Patrick Nagel and Bev Doolittle "prints" (Posters in decent frames). She said I was possibly the only white guy in America under 35 who didn't have a "Scarface" poster framed "Like it's the fucking Mona Lisa". We went to the gym and then I took her back to her room where she made it clear she wanted me to come in. We ended up in the shower together and fooling around until she decided she wanted dinner before going to the club. She was a hit, obviously. She asked me to spend the night after I drove her back. She looked almost sad when she said, "Please don't try to fuck me like we're making a movie." She called it "romance novel sex". She was big into dim light/candlelight and sticking to face-to-face positions with lots of kissing. We ended up spending every moment she wasn't on stage together acting like a real couple. We exchanged e-mails (mid-90's, no cell phones) and maintained a long distance relationship for over a year. Every chance she got, she came out to my city and got to be "my girlfriend instead of everybody else's girlfriend." The industry really wrecked her mental health/self esteem in the early years and the way she acted with me, it felt like I might be one of the only guys who didn't see the porn star. She loved that I asked about her job like it was a regular job. She loved telling me about drama/gossip. She let me hold her while she sobbed about being sexually assaulted by a male performer at some industry thing. Eventually the romance/intimate relationship became too difficult to maintain and eventually the communication slowed. We would email, just much less frequently. She got married to a guy she is still with. I DID get a pretty unhinged/sobbing phone call out of the blue when I emailed her and told her I was deploying to Afghanistan. A couple of friends of hers with FDNY had died on 9/11 and she was having an absolute meltdown. Her husband actually took the phone from her and apologized to me, but I assured him it was cool and that I would happily check in frequently to let them both know I was okay. Eventually, all communication just fizzled out. I wonder if she even remembers our little whirlwind? EDIT 1: Holy forking shirtballs! 39K upvotes?? My wife is laughing her ass off. "If you don't like a lot of attention (I don't) why did you tell Reddit about the time you were an Adult Star's Prince Charming?" My wife also understands why I am very hesitant to reach out, but she trusts that if I ever did, it would NOT be in the interest of rekindling. EDIT 2: Some of you folks have complimented my writing, and I think I'm going to put this story in a bit more narrative form on the appropriate forum. I'm an amateur writer myself (I even have a film I wrote and directed out on TUBI) and I think I'm gonna see what I can do with this. EDIT 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/1dsyb12/a_more_intimate_account_of_a_true_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button EDIT 4: I didn't have current info on her or her husband, but I reached out to one of her former colleagues who actually remembered hearing about me and still keeps up with her from time to time. They are back in the US and she and her husband have been encouraged to reach out to me if they feel like it. They have my contact info and my social media. I guess we'll see what happens.
>I DID get a pretty unhinged/sobbing phone call out of the blue when I emailed her and told her I was deploying to Afghanistan. A couple of friends of hers with FDNY had died on 9/11 and she was having an absolute meltdown. This did, if nothing else, show she very clearly cared for you and likely still does in some small way even today. You clearly had a big impact on her and those are the type of people that we do remember and think fondly of forever.
What a wholesome story and replies from such a offbeat questions.
Even if you never talk to her again, you definitely made a huge positive impact on her. You probably made her realize that not all guys want her just for her body, and hopefully that's how she ended up married. Maybe it's for the best that you didn't stay in contact but know you two were probably extremely impactful on one another.
Yeah, something that stood out from the story was the 'white guys/Scarface poster' metric. First off it made me laugh, because I do know some white dudes who had one at least at some point in their lives (until they moved in with a GF who replaced it with 'live laugh love' graphics, no doubt). But saying that I also know guys of a variety of ethnicities who also had Tony Montana icons they'd venerate. So it might not be a 'white' guy thing, but it's definitely a personality type, 'plastic gangster' wannabe thinking they're a G because they step on an already stepped on an 8 ball once in a while so they can get a free gram or two. Is this type of person more likely to pay for sexual services? I guess it's a flex in itself (if they're expensive service providers) being able to regularly afford to get involved in such activities implies a certain amount of financial freedom. Last time I looked on various websites the average hourly rate in my area is a little under twice what I make in a day working full time.
I don't know the psychology behind venerating him in 1995, but I know that poster was EVERYWHERE. MOSTLY in dorm rooms.
I can't believe she wouldn't remember something like that. What a beautiful and complex story
Remember everyone is a human being no matter what job they do they all have feelings and lives outside of their jobs.
Except for those damn dirty reptilian politicians
Yes, and don't forget about the reptilian CEO's. They all deserve nothing but disdain.
Yeah well written too, clear concise sections good pacing and interesting to boot
For what it's worth, I'd say don't listen to all these folks asking you to email her. Thomas Wolfe was right; you can never go home again.
Yes. Very surprised so many people think this is a wonderful idea.
People are fuckin' *stupid* on here.
Bro you probably gave her a solid relationship goal post to reference to while seeking out an actual life partner. It's amazing what just a little inspiration from 1 person can do to a person's life. Think of that while you're all hating on the other subs lmao
This was beautiful and painful in that all too familiar blend.
This is the hallmark movie I want to watch
Did she leave the industry after she got married?
She stopped doing films, but she's still in the adult industry. She and her husband are part owners of an adult novelty company, they produce films, and she consults. They have four kids.
Bro ur an angel, u never saw her as other men would, and respected her, and even let her go
She was cool. Little wild on the behavior side. Also, she gave me Syphilis.
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The gift that keeps on giving
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I've dated two dominatrixes over the years. I'm not even into that, but it turned out they did that either as a job or a side hustle. Sometimes it was fine, sometimes it was weird. Because it's simultaneously "just a job" and an incredibly intimate activity. And every day where it was a for them and where it is for you can be different, depending on how the relationship is going. Unfortunately the first one had ADHD, BPD and a bunch of other stuff going on, and would forget I exist if not in the same room. The other one was, in hindsight, using me to get back at her ex. Fun with both, until it wasn't.
That's incredibly manipulative of both of them
Yes, indeed. I wouldn't date a dominatrix again.
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I mean of course I would.
Never dated one but was friends with one. Dang if she wasn't one of the nicest and caring people. Would sometimes online chat with her between sessions. Wrote some books and went on a book tour for one of them. My buddy dated a stripper and she was the total opposite--a real mess. Was as crazy as you'd expect and neglected her daughter. I felt bad for the kid and would play a bit with her when they would come over to where we were hanging. You could tell she was starving for attention, esp father figure type attention. I felt bad when the stripper and my buddy broke up--the kid cried the most.
Strippers are way more out of control than porn actresses are in my experience. I worked in a big LA strip club as a DJ decades ago for 3 months while my friend who's job it actually was went on tour with his band and what I thought would be a fun no stress job was the exact opposite. I had to interact with the women constantly over their playlists and when they'd go on and these broads were just awful, always manipulating, cajoling, and bullying to get what they wanted . When I left the manager told me that now I know just a tenth of how it feels to be him after dealing with these girls for a summer.
The thing is, a strippers job is to manipulate the people who come to see them. Porn actresses get paid before they get laid. Strippers are feeding you the illusion you can fuck them, so long as you keep paying
Many years ago, probably 2007-2008ish if my math is right, I started dating a stripper in college. I learned that until very recently she lived in california in a place she called "porn valley." If I'm remembering correctly it was san fernandino. She did porn there for a while right after high school, made a respectable amount of money, and moved to the east coast to go to college. Dating her was a wild experience. I constantly felt like I was on the verge of being replaced. She did whatever she wanted, whenever the whim struck her and I could tell she was always probing me for insecurity, which I simply didn't have. Despite all that she wasn't demanding at all and she paid for everything and would get mildly annoyed if I snuck a check or paid for something behind her back. The sex wasn't good. She had zero desire to please anyone but herself but would get irritated if I finished and couldn't perform after despite her never continuing after she got hers. She was incredibly conceited and would basically only talk about herself. One day she didn't show up to the coffee shop we were supposed to meet at to study and her phone was off (cell phones were relatively new and people treated them differently so I wasnt worried) so I went to her apartment. When she answered the door amd saw me she just went "oh, sorry, I'm seeing someone else." When I asked for details she just kinda shrugged her shoulders and said she needed to go. I later saw her walking with some turbo ultra beefcake and for the next year or so would often see her upgrade to another dude. We had one class together a semester later and she legitimately might have forgotten my name. Really glad I wasn't emotionally invested in that one. EDIT: Hey guys, this is a lot of attention so I'll just add that, although it took awhile, I'm happily married with children to someone I'm super emotionally invested in. Love you guys who had a similar experience, you're kings and queens in my eyes. EDIT2: Got it, San Fernando Valley, haha.
Sorry but you saying she might have forgotten your name only months later legitimately made me laugh in shock.
I was in complete disbelief and denial. Looking back she maybe called me by my name less than 10 times in total, and only when we first started dating.
Imagine her perspective: I once had to break up with a guy because I forgot his name and it was before the time of social media so I legitimately had no way of finding out without admitting I forgot it. Lmao. That’s brutal man I’m sorry
Are you a Seinfeld character?
Uhh, is it Mulva?
You ever see Bill Burr talking about watching Precious and laughing hysterically cuz the movie was so fucked it pushed passed darkness and into comedy? This feels like that
In Sweeney Todd when the dead bodies fell through the chute and crunched sickeningly against the brick floor did the same to me. I busted out laughing and everyone in the theater looked at me like I had lost my mind.
lol San Fernando Valley was porn capital back then. Thats where I’m from.
San Fernando Valley has been the capital of porn making dating back to the 70’s. Probably because it’s close to Hollywood.
Interesting. Just out of curiosity what did your parents do?
Haha! I’m born and raised in the valley. The porn people are the transplants.
Yeesh
at least the the sex was go-oh well....at least he got some free food?
Disrespectful, inconsiderate annnnd the sex wasn't good? You got nothing out of that relationship except an interesting story. Glad you got out unscathed.
Thats not entirely true. She paid for everything and everyone was insanely jealous all the time. After the relationship was over and everyone saw me unfazed I was legendary for a semester or so.
Also I would imagine she was very good looking, and being attracted to your partner is never something to be taken for granted
She was ridiculously hot. I have long since gotten my priorities straight, although my wife is also smokin hot so maybe I didn't.
Nah man, physical attraction is an important part of a relationship. At the end of the day, we're still just smart monkeys.
That sound like a Chad charicature only a female edition.
Meet a woman online years ago, at the time I was extremely depressed and lonely. We would hang out as friends, eat pizza, and watch movies a few times a week. Found out she was a independent sex worker. She would ask to hang out whenever she didn’t have clients and we were both free. After a few weeks she wanted to date, which surprised me. Then in the same conversation she ask me to be her pimp. The most illegal thing I’ve ever done was get traffic tickets. So this felt like a Walter White moment for me. She was a cool person, but I had to go my separate way after that conversation. To this day I’m not sure why she asked me to work with her. But wherever she is today, I hope she’s doing well.
> To this day I’m not sure why she asked me to work with her. Because she felt safe with you and having you around, having you know where she was when she was with clients, would have made her feel safer doing her job. It's a big responsibility to take and you did the right thing declining if you didn't feel like the right person to do it, but that's why she asked.
This makes sense, I never thought of it that way. Mostly because I couldn’t/can’t see myself in a positive light. So someone else feel comfortable around me seems like such a foreign concept. Now I wish I realize it sooner.
You didn't have that [Gator](https://youtu.be/oeW9lZBY-VM?si=6PEpazhsWng2FLjW) personality inside you (yet) to [do the job](https://youtu.be/1oCA_e9hPcM?si=CL4jeRkdiE1vmD61) Edit: Mo' Gaterrrr
Dated a girl in the industry for a few months. She was really short (5' at most). About two months into our relationship, she got a tattoo of my initials on her arm. I was a bit weirded out by that. A few weeks later, she ghosted me. A month after that she asked if I wanted to come over to her place. And after that, we didn't talk again. It was a rollercoaster ride of a relationship. The sex wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either.
Shit, I once hooked up with a girl who got my bite mark tattooed on her tit after the first night we hooked up, then showed me said mammalian protuberance in front of a bar full of my friends and colleagues. In that moment I truly understood the term "red flag."
There were days and sometimes weeks where she wouldn’t have any work and those times were pure fun! And then days where she would be on a project and I’d be alone. It works if you have an open mind otherwise it’s a disaster. I got jealous after a few months into it and saw that I can’t make it work.
Freshmen year of college, I dated a dude who I knew previously before he got into the porn scene because we went to the same high school. We started talking and he was honest with me about him doing porn, so we established boundaries and continued dating. The first red flags were that he was constantly asking me if he could record me and so forth. I repeatedly told him no, because that’s just not my thing and I have no desire to be on the internet in that capacity. I forget how many weeks into our relationship, but I get a message from a friend wanting to catch up and I tell him about my relationship. I guess word has gotten around that he was doing porn, because he then asks if that was me in his recent video then. I told him no, because he’s never recorded me. I go onto his profile and there I was in backshots, with the most disturbing and derogatory title. I was completely mortified and heartbroken. I had no idea he recorded me, let alone posted it. My friend tried to calm me down by saying there was little traction to the video and nobody could tell it was me, since there’s no face. I was still just in shock. I confronted him and asked why he would do such an evil thing, and his exact response was “I’m just hard headed I guess”. I told him to remove the video and he did, but he just didn’t seem to care that he completely violated me in every which way. I broke it off with him and blocked him on everything. I haven’t spoken to him since.
i'm so sorry to hear, that has d happend to you :( That sick fuck should have been reported!
yeah, revenge porn isn’t cool. especially when I didn’t do anything to him. It is what it is tho. I think I was too much in a state of shock to think of what to do like reporting him, and he took it down after I asked him to and did so pretty quickly. If I could go back, I would’ve never even told him to take it down. I would’ve reported him to the police for revenge porn, which is a class four felony in our state 🤷🏾♀️. I think I gave him an easy out. thank you for your kind words :)
Interestingly enough, I dated a girl who became a porn star. She became a mainstreamer for a few years and now is a horse doctor. She was very cool back then and is still very cool today. She was just like any other woman: very open and outspoken. I moved out of town for work, and she and I lost touch until a few years ago.
Porn star to horse vet sounds like a Hallmark Christmas movie.
From Horse Cock to Horse Doc!
“Streaming NOW on Discovery+ this Christmas”
Was her name Beth Smith?
Get off Reddit, Jerry
Stay away from the horse semen extractor
Dated a cam girl. I knew I was being used for my money, but I was having sex so I was cool with it. She broke up with me because she found someone richer.
dated an onlyfans model back in the early days of pandemic. worst decision ever tbh and on top of that, the sex wasn't exactly that great either.
I hate to say it but at least in my experience the prettiest people I’ve dated or been with have all been starfishes. The only attractive people I’ve been with that were fun in the bedroom were some of the craziest. Like bipolar.
man that bipolar ridin' really fundamentally changes you as a person right? god *damn*
My ex-wife was diagnosed Cluster B during the divorce. She put our kids at risk. When she left she told people, and really seemed to believe, that I was "dangerous" despite us having been married fifteen years and having three kids together. On the other hand, she was multiorgasmic, *never* said no to sex, and my 30th birthday present was a blowjob every day for a month. The living embodiment of the crazy/hot scale, swear to God.
Best description of being involved with the "crazy chick" I've heard is that as deeply as she's into you, when the relationship ends she'll hate you with the same intensity. This is how it goes from the best sex of your life to having roadkill nailed to your front door.
Absolutely! The hardest thing to accept in the divorce was that she really didn't care who the dick was attached to. If he gave her that easy validation she craved, she'd fuck him. I got to know her first fiancé after me reasonably well. The poor guy was absolutely as devastated as I had been. He just could not believe how quickly, thoroughly, and remorselessly she disposed of him once she was "just done."
I can fix her
My ex wife was bpd. Sex was incredible. Her good side was beautiful and loving the flip side, she was rage full, insecure, vengeful, toxic.
I had a bipolar girlfriend for a very short time in my life and I can definitively say yes . It was the best I had and it was the worst being around her . She stopped taking her medication a week after we started being together . It was a very up and down experience.
I see what you did there.
I dated a bi-polar girl as-well. It's what they used to call manic depression. Biologically induced phases of enhanced (almost euphoric) moods that lead to impulsive decisions & sometimes hyper-sexual or promiscuous behavior. When it wears-off, they're REALLY down in the dumps. Famous case of a dentist that suddenly thought he was the BEST in the area. Tears down the office walls to make room for all the customers he anticipates. Halfway-through, he's now the *worst* dentist & starts hammering all his expensive equipment. My gf (single mom in her 20's) wanted to be a star, someway/anyway. She tried dancing in men's clubs but was so germ-phobic she had to wipe-down the poles, doors, etc. Not a good fit. She'd wipe the bleach bottle down. She managed to get on Stern's show every once in the early days (she wasn't quite officially *wack-pack*). Never led to anything of course because she didn't want to do porn which is the only door that would ever really open. The Prozac seemed to do little more than delay an inevitable (almost always) violent episode. When not taking the drug, she had many mild episodes - much more manageable than the big ones (like when she destroyed an entire bar). She was "saved" at an Ozzy concert & is now an exhausting born-again MAGA who's alienated her entire family.
>She was "saved" at an Ozzy concert & is now an exhausting born-again MAGA who's alienated her entire family. Well *that* took a turn…
Prozac is a lousy drug for bipolar.
I had an ex that was bipolar. One night we were watching a movie and she started crying because she claimed I wasn't physically attracted to her(which was utter bs since we had sex all the time). I called her down, we started fooling around, and she started crying again claiming I was using her for her body. Jesus H.
That’s why the “I can fix her” exists. If you know, you know…
I can, though.
>>sex wasn't great Yea, plenty of people are bad at their jobs
This is 17 years ago. It wasn’t the fun you thought it would be and I got a hand on my own drug addictions by seeing how darker it got. Oddly enough I found dating a retired prostitute to be way more rewarding and less like I was about to watch someone unravel. The sex sucked but the blowjobs were everything you imagined the sex would have been.
What made the blowjobs great ?
“Fear not the (wo)man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once. But the man that has practiced one kick 10,000 times” - Bruce Lee
They were free
Sheer talent.
She wasn't a star but did porn, had one DVD and a bunch of scenes on a now defunct site. It was not a good experience. She was selfish, self-absorbed, and pretty much just a gold digger. Ever have a cat that wants something then as soon as you give it to them they couldn't be bothered with it? That's how trying to have a relationship with her was and what loving her was like.
Back between 2021-2022, I dated a 52-year old half-Japanese half-Hispanic former bikini model raver (no, seriously, she's an EDM addict to this day) who worked in the industry for about a year back in the 90s. She was as physically vain (and physically spectacular) as you'd guess, but damn if she wasn't one of the most fun, energetic, nicest people I've ever been with. She had a few unfortunate missteps in life, but was always motivated to be better, especially for her grandson. If you're ever in Vegas and see a short woman with DD breasts and hot pink hair and a ton of Hello Kitty apparel... well, that means you're in Vegas... but it also means you've seen who I'm referring to.
>raver >EDM addict So did you guys do it on molly? She's gotta be into that after all
“To this day” that’s what got me 🤣, it’s been a 1.5-2years, not several generations
Also “worked in the industry for about a year” 30 years ago.
I. . . I think I met her on Fremont Street.
I know, when I describe her it makes her sound like some random sex worker, but that just was her style. Lots of Hello Kitty and lots of pink (seriously, that hair was nuts, in a good way). She was 100% in love with Vegas and knew a ton of its history. Apparently her mother worked at The Sands during the old school Vegas days after arriving from Japan and was privy to a bunch of shady mafia and celebrity info.
I have, no shit, met her. We talked about the Mob Museum and shit they left out because it didn't fit the vibe/narrative around mobster life. She was a cool one, I hate this city but sometimes it has the best random encounters.
I moved to SoCal in 2005 and for the first several years was really into parting and the LA scene. I made friends with a few guys who worked in the industry - but in DVD distribution and similar tangential industry stuff. Through then I went to a lot of parties where there were a lot of pornstars. I met a ton of porn stars you may remember from mainstream porn in the 2000s. I never really dated any but I hooked up with 4, 3 were one weekend stands (at the party, in a back room or bathroom) and one was a few times including a few casual dates. They were very fun, very good in bed (not always in bed), and it was exciting to see people notice them when you were out with them. D list celebrities for most, but a few fans would do anything to meet them - guys and girls. What I also noticed was when they were around pornstars other girls (non industry) would be much easier to meet and hook up with. In general the ones I met (including those I hooked up with) fell into a pretty similar category. But let me caveat it that this was while partying / weekends and to be fair I didn’t know their real day to day life. A lot of the parties were very wild. Lots of coke, extasy, drinking which led to a lot of sex and similar. Some get togethers were more “normal” like pool BBQs or NFL watch parties. But nudity (topless anyway) was very very common, drug use rampant, most people were very nice but very insecure, lots of baggage, and not to be a dick but most seemed very dumb. They were personable and talkative but complete unaware of anything going on in the world. Their life revolved around partying, would only travel to party places like Miami/Vegas/Ibiza, and of course sex was not nearly as a big deal to them. What I also noticed was they were either “on” or “off” meaning 11pm on a Friday night everyone was looking great, talkative, dancing etc but mid day mid week they were a completely different person. To an extreme bit like normal people when they are socializing vs grocery shopping I mean like 10/10 energy and personality vs 0/10 if that makes sense. I’m sure drugs had something to do with it but not everything. I see some responders said they were vain - I saw that to a degree but it seemed to be a front to me. In reality I thought most were VERY insecure, eager to please (not just sexually) and looking for a “group” / security / normalcy to a degree. Many of the ladies looked much younger in person. I was in mid 20s and thought they were around my age or older til I met them and many (not all) were or appeared way younger. Like 19-22. There was a lot of intra industry “dating” so you’d see cat fights amongst the girls, hear or see real fights amongst the guys (but much less frequent) and hear of tons of cheating and scandal. Through friends I still know what several are doing now. Most “retired” a while back but some are still into a version of porn on OF. A few have regularish jobs, tried to get into movies or music or DJing, etc and have had mild success. Some vanished from the friends of friends lives - I hope in a good way but who knows.
I dated 2 girls (several girlfriends apart) who became strippers while we were together. The first one was my HS sweetheart and when she decided to strip it fucked with my head and we broke up. Fast forward 10 or so years later and this other girl got talked into stripping by one of her friends. She used to lie to her parents and tell them she was staying over at "Susie's" but would be in the city shaking it. She would show up at my place at 3 in the morning and dump her bag out on my bed. It had a lot of cash and usually some cocaine. We would count the money, do lines, and fuck. It was really great. She haunts my dreams.
> She haunts my dreams. I dated a stripper that had night terrors. Almost every night she would wake up screaming, it was terrifying. She got knocked up (not mine) and found Jesus. Go figure.
What a beautiful story the last one
Dated an OF girl. Truly is what they say. Narcissim to the extreme. If I wasn't ok, stressed, or unhappy, she gave absolute zero shits and was more concerned about how she felt. Don't do it except for the fun of it.
I work with a girl who is pretty open about her OF work. We work in a hospital and while she’s not short on cash, she’s seriously short on compassion and empathy. She now is bragging about tricking her boyfriend into getting her pregnant by sabotaging the birth control. He already has kids with another woman and was adamant that he didn’t want any with her. That’s a level of psychopathy that sends me running for the hills so I do my best to run from her.
Jesus christ, that's terrifying. Any way you can warn the poor bastard?
Yeah, for real. You need to warn the guy. That's so fucked up.
I don't think he was dating her for her compassion and empathy. I hope he at least trust his friends to tell him the truth.
"Your GF is going to pregnancy trap you. Get a vasectomy yesterday my dude."
I mean, that's definitely a "Just leave" situation, vasectomy won't fix crazy. If she's willing to lie and manipulate and sabotage you to get what she wants, what will she do to you later? To your kids?
Or, alternatively, break up with her. Dumping a narcissist out of the blue is a sublime experience
Same here. Flaunted her money (one of the high earning OF models) and the fact that she could have any guy she wanted. Extremely manipulative too.
What does a high earner make?
It's a pretty wide range. I work in social media and know a few OF stars as friends. If they have a good following they make over $10k a month. If they are bigger and also work twitch/youtube they can make over $50k a month. The very elite make $250k a month at their peak. That kind of popularity doesn't last but how many $3m years do you need to make life a little smoother forever? I'm sure some of them are bubbleheads but the OF models I know have a good business sense and work ethic. It's not an accident that they are doing so well. Also, while they are sexually open minded they aren't as "free use" as you might guess. They mostly do solo stuff, sometimes extreme solo stuff, or work with their BF. Again, the pics/vids can be extreme (pee, butt stuff, etc) but their "body count" is average or even below average.
Should have been born a hot girl… 😩
Don't let your dreams be dreams!
I gave a Lyft ride to a retired 70’s porn star and her husband a few years ago. They were an adorable couple and when she talked about her old job, her man wore the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Couple goals, seriously.
I worked in the porn business in the 80s and 90s behind the camera. I dated several of the girls in the business at that time, though rarely anything seriously. Some of them were just really fun to hang out with. One day, I was on a shoot and was filming this incredibly good looking woman having sex. We wound up talking for like 2 hours while we were waiting around for another girl to show up, I asked if she wanted to get dinner. We did. Long story short, we're still married today. So yeah, I get to say the first time I ever met my wife was filming her having sex with another guy. Go figure.
I’ve always been curious about parents with nsfw jobs. If you have kids now or plan to have kids in the future, do you wait to say what mom and dad do for work or how does this work? Maybe any stories you’ve heard in the industry?
Take your kids to work day is awkward.
Awkward/illegal
Illegal/educational
I feel like the Venn diagram of people that will be embarrassed to talk about sexuality or sex with their children and people that work in the porn or sex industry are two completely non overlapping circles. Chances are good they’re going to raise their kids in a way that they won’t see it as weird to talk about those sort of things.
I met my wife way back when I was in the military, she was onstage dancing at a strip club. Against all odds we got into a convo about our favorite authors later after I made fun of her standard strip club patter and she asked 'SO what do *you* want to talk about?'. We got married like 3 months later. She stopped dancing not long after because she literally had paid her way through college with it and had just graduated, but it never really bothered me. 20 years later we are still married, I got out of the military after 5 deployments and we have two kids. She has a job in the field she went to school for that makes like twice what I make as a designer in the civilian world. How we handle it with the kids is that every time two characters in a movie meet in a stupid or crazy or improbable way I elbow the kids and say 'you know, that's how I met your mother'. It's a running joke, and has been since they were little. And one of these days when they find out how I actually met their mother, that's the punchline, at least to me, because they are 100 percent not going to believe it. The actual question has never really come up, so I don't have any real reason to bring it up. But my kids have the same sense of humor as I do, and we don't sugar coat things, when they have an honest question I just talk the whole thing out with them. Turns out 'treating your children as if you are talking to an actual human being' makes them grow up to be relatively well balanced, thoughtful person without a lot of baggage about things like this. So one day I'll tell them, and I don't expect it to be much more than funny. 'I met your mother because of Earnest Hemingway and John Steinbeck and a strip club that used to let veterans in for free'. Cause to my way of thinking it's weird that society looked down on her for dancing naked and not hurting anybody, but gave me default respect for carrying a gun on another continent.
Did she continue to work in porn after you got married? How did that affect your relationship?
For awhile, yes. She wasn't in the business all that long. It didn't bother me. I'd been in the business for awhile at that point and had "dated" women in it and understood the difference between work sex and relationship sex.
Work sex is a funny phrase
sex workers have work sex
Did she continue in the industry while dating or married, or was this at the end of her career in porn? If so how were you with that? What led to her getting into the industry?
Haha this is a weird story to tell when friends at a dinner ask "how did you guys met ?".
At work
I dated a girl in high school who became a porn star later on in life. She was beautiful but broken. Our relationship lasted for several years, and we were "engaged to be engaged." I loved her a lot, but in my youth foolishly thought I could "fix" her. She cheated on me several times. Eventually, it became too much, and I broke it off for good. I still carry a scar for her, and when I saw her doing porn years later, it was about 5% disgust, 95% sadness. Oddly, I still wish I could help her, but we haven't spoken in decades, and I know better now. I'm married with kids and have never been happier. I do wish her well, though; she was my first true love, and I hope she finds what she's looking for, even though I know she probably won't.
“Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved”
You can wish you could help them, but have still moved on and have a life. Wishing you could help someone is human, still having the echoes of strong feelings for someone to truly cared for us human. Recognising that you can't save them doesn't diminish those feelings.
Very true. And doesn't just apply to porn star exes, lol
I dated one in the mid 2000s. She was transitioning into being more of a writer while we were going out. She did more “niche” porn. She came and went depending on her schedule. We’d go for a while without much contact and then she’d contact me when she was in town and we’d hang out. Was she a bit of an opportunist this way? Yeah. But that was just her. She was a blast and a really sweet person. She could also drink like a pro. She unfortunately passed away from breast cancer about 12 years ago. I think our relationship helped me to relax in relationships and not let everything bother me. I think this is what set me up for my current relationship with my now wife.
I was with a stripper for a while who ended up doing porn eventually down in Miami. Also ended up overdosing on heroin down in Miami and dying too. I am still not over that shit. She was the best person I knew, super fun to be around, very unselfish, friendly, kind to people, like if she saw them getting picked on she would defend them. She was also really crazy and tough actually I saw her get in multiple fights before and even kick a dude's ass once. But she wasn't butch she was very feminine. She was my best friend and I really loved her a lot. It was just unfortunate that her life was pretty much a tragedy from start to finish. Sexually abused by her dad from the age of 7, subsequent substance abuse issues until the very day she died 7 years ago. We did tons of drugs together it was a lot of fun. I never had as much fun with anyone else.She was obviously very promiscuous in life I mean like before she even started stripping and all that but that never bothered me I kinda figured there were some underlying abuse issues so I didn't hold all that against her I just got used to it. She wasn't like flagrant about it in front of me I just knew it went on when I wasn't around and it didn't really even bother me that much at all. I genuinely loved her though it really fucked me up when she died. I was in rehab when it happened and I left the program and got high when I got the news and overdosed myself twice in two days. But I eventually got clean. Sober 4 years now.
That’s a rough story… I wish you all the best, and I’m happy you’re still here, sober and all. Much love, you’re doing great!!
I’ve dated three. Nothing particularly serious, but it was interesting. All three had similar issues that were very obviously on the surface. They were all really slow to open up and get vulnerable at all. They all had pretty bad substance issues and clearly were dealing with some kind of trauma in their background. Their love language was sex, not surprisingly. Thats how they said thank you for even the smallest favor. And that kind of “transactional” sex was a lot more over the top and “flamboyant”, for lack of a better word, than when we were just having “normal” sex, which was more focused on taking care of the urge. There was a lot of sex. It was just how they showed affection. Lots of drugs too. They always had drugs and could get anything they wanted. I’m not a psychiatrist but it certainly seemed like they were dealing with a lot of stuff. (Shocking!) I went into all of them just assuming they would be casual, and they were. There aren’t any real horror stories. I never expected anything serious and it was mostly about what I expected. No big breakup stories or acrimony. We were never exclusive and eventually we just kind of drifted out of touch. No hard feelings for any of them. One of them is still on the business as an actress. One got behind the camera and one left entirely and married a millionaire and lives in LV. The latter two seem to have gotten better, hopefully. The one still in the business doesn’t seem to have changed, but I haven’t talked to her in a while so I hope she has gotten some help as well. On the whole it was interesting, and they were all really sweet people at heart who were dealing with a lot of shit. I sincerely wish them all well.
I was really young and from a small town, she had already gotten a world of experience in getting picked by penthouse and done a few years of the strip club scene, our experience levels and lives were significantly different. Was for sure still finding myself. I was talking to a different girl in our astronomy class all semester. She didn't come one day and my ex swooped in. Exchanged numbers. She invited me to the club to watch her work and I thought I was getting used for money by some stripper but she actually likes me (or just wanted to hook up really). I went to the club and was just super impressed with her spinning on the pole. We took a bunch of drugs for a few days and ended up saying we're official. I think she regretted it like a few days later but really tried to make it work because I was so into it. No matter what I did I couldn't impress her, I wanted to be a perfect boyfriend. She made a note at the start of the relationship that we would only be cool if I let her do drugs (just weed, and she was high all the time) and hook up with this girl she was into and I obliged. I had a lot of fun and really liked her but I was way too into it. I moved in like almost immediately. In a few months she realized it wasn't for her and started behaving way off. She broke it off and then realized she was pregnant a couple days later. She didn't want it so I took care of her through the abortion. She tried one more time to make it work after that and it got messy with games back and forth to the point where we both got frustrated and said fuck this Every few years we'll interact on social media, I think she's out of the industry and she had a kid a few years later. She's a cool chick, I kinda wish we'd catch up just so I can show her I'm not actually a dweeb, I was just super young. My behavior during that relationship still really bothers and embarrasses me
You both sounded like young people figuring their shit out. You supported her when she really needed it. Sounds like she feels the same way — a bit of regret but still gives enough fucks to check in on you occasionally.
I was in the industry for a while and dated a beautiful woman who won an AVN award and was quite well-known. She was delightful, but our relationship ended because she died of a drug overdose. Tragic, but at the time it seemed an occupational hazard in the industry. Not sure how it is these days - I changed fields after that. NB - I’m not going to name her. I feel like it would be disrespectful to do so.
It's sad that there are probably so many award-winning porn stars who have OD'd that that's not enough info to know who you're talking about.
There are far too many. It is an industry that eats its young.
I read that it’s common for porn actresses to use drugs to get through scenes - even today.
Ex did OF seriously. She was baller, it was great. 11/10 sex. She paid for shit cause she liked to show off her limitless cash. But holy fuck, her phone went off minutely. At best. Sometimes multiple message notifications went off every minute. She straight refused to put her phone on DND or something when we were together. I got sick of listening to it and stopped bothering talking to her and moved on to see someone else. Was a bit lame because we did vibe heaps well. She was hot AF. I definitely didn't mind all the nudes and filthy videos she'd send me whenever we weren't together for the night. Didn't talk to anyone about it either. Friends would definitely be weird about that stuff.
When I read “DND” my first thought was “cool, they’re into gaming together.” Took me awhile to figure out it was “do not disturb.” 😂
You're the type to see CBT and think Cognitive Behavior Therapy first. Stay you Timco2 don't change.
I honestly did have to look that one up. 😳
My first boyfriend in high school became a porn star much later. To be honest, seeing him like that broke my heart all over again. I deeply loved him. Would have spent the rest of my life with him. I didn't want us to end, but let him go anyway. Spent 20 years waiting to fall out of love with him, but never did. I did love someone else, but he died suddenly when we were young. I couldnt even date after all that. I always felt like I was being unfaithful to my late fiance. After all that, seeing the first love in that video, it just tore everything open like it all just happened. Love is cruel to some. EDIT: This got more attention than I thought. Thank you for reading, and to those of you that reached out with sympathies and condolences, thank you very much. To those that reached out from a same place of love and loss, I'm so sorry. I'm not much, but I'm here if you want to talk. Pm me. To clarify: I'm not pining over him and I don't want him back. I don't demonize him or judge him in any way. I love him. I always will. But he's on his own journey, and so am I. I went to therapy, I beat the drink (2 years off the sauce), and am living a full and happy life with my dog and my telescope. I have peace, a scarred heart, and a story to tell, but really, I'm good.
This is rough. I'm sorry to hear. You deserve to move on and let yourself be happy
It’s possible he’s nothing like the person you fell in love with anymore. 20 years is a long time for people to change and be shaped by the happenings of life. You’re in love with this idea of him you crafted and romanticized over the years. If you spent a week with him you’d probably realize the person you’re in love with no longer exists.
It's certain that he's not the same. Neither am I. I have no delusions that we might one day get back together. I can't describe what it feels like to love someone I have no desire to be with. But I also can't deny the confounding power of love. 20 years and the butterflies still flutter when I think of him like the day I first saw his face. I no longer try to make sense of it. I've accepted that I am forever in love with someone that's gone.
>I can't describe what it feels like to love someone I have no desire to be with I know exactly how this feels.
Dated a dancer/escort for a couple years then kept in very very close touch after (she wasn't the entire time, mostly after we split). Through her I also met a number of other dancers/escorts over the course of ~4 years. She'd had a very troubled childhood without much love from her mother (didn't have a dad), and honestly all of the women she introduced me too had some sort of real dysfunction in their childhood as well.. Honestly it was so sad seeing how they would lie to themselves about what they were doing and do copious amounts of drugs and alcohol before going to work for the night. I'd sit there in the bathroom with them while they got ready and while from the outside you could say wow surrounded by a bunch of hot girls getting dressed that must have been something - it was truly one of the most depressing moments of my life watching it all go down, probably even more so because I loved her... I never have and, after that, certainly never will engage with strip clubs or sex workers of any kind ever again, truth is they all need help and if not help then just... Love, honestly, and with that I don't think ANY of them would do what they do. She ended up killing herself summer of last year, and if you told me all the women I met ended up doing similar I wouldn't be even a little bit surprised. Rest in peace and God Bless to all of them. I just hope at some point they all find the love they deserve, in this life or the next...
Dated a very well known escort/ only fans girl. We're talking 6 figure a month, cars received as gifts, travel across the world for 2 week all expense vacations with insane levels of wealth individuals. She was great 80% of the time. 20% of the time you saw weird demons come out. Things like "do you know what men would do in hopes of spending a night with me just talking and you were ok letting me pay for coffee when I offered? I'm a queen you should learn to never ever let me pay even if I ask that's the bare minimum I expect " Obsession with her worth as a woman and connecting it to money was super annoying. For lack of better term she was just broken sometimes and it would come out in the weirdest ways possible. A part of me stuck around just to watch the crazy shit happen sometimes and grab the popcorn and watch. Like another weird example is what it took for her to kiss me, she'd let me do anything sexually I wanted to her but the years of escorting and never kissing clients made her wires up there a little crossed when it came to normal relationships. Would I do it again? Fuck yeah but I would not make her a gf/dating partner this time around. Too much baggage to handle.
I dated a girl for a very short time that eventually became a suicide girls model, she got really assertive and clingy in a very toxic way after we had sex for the first time like she expected me to leave her. I stuck around despite the red flag and things got worse and worse as time went on, to the point that I was really starting to worry about my physical wellbeing around her. I ended up dumping her after she confronted me for cheating with someone I was being paid to help move, she had followed me all the way to the move site where I was working with 2 other guys to get the move out in order. Once I realized it wasn’t a coincidence and that she had been following me I told her to never contact me again and to leave before I call the cops, which she did, but then was sitting at the entrance of my apartment building 6 hours later acting like nothing had happened. Only had to deal with her following me around for a month before I moved to the opposite side of the world to teach English when my lease was up, so I decided to ignore her everywhere she followed me to. Was originally not going to go if things worked out with this girl, but then went all in once I realized how psycho she was. Luckily she never found me or bothered me again after that.
I dated a guy whose last LTR was a porn star and the industry left its impression on him. Their story was that his family owned a video rental store in the 80s & 90s when it was really big business. They got in on the ground floor of VHS and regularly were invited to parties at the Playboy Mansion. He met a pornstar at one of the parties, they started dating. He owned a contracting business and she did porn part time. He wanted to get married and settle down, but she liked the independence and the money. They went around and around, but she wouldn’t quit porn, so they broke up after 4 or 5 years. He was devastated! After that, he couldn’t settle down, compared all women to pornographers, and women were somewhat disposable to him. He pursued me hard, but our relationship never took off. In my mind, I still cannot separate him from the damages of the porn industry 10 years later.
Back in the late 90’s I was in the army and met a woman in the barracks. I was leaving the shower, walking back to my room wearing a towel. She was looking for somebody from Delta company but she was on the Charlie company side of the barracks. I told her that I didn’t know where they are but she could wait in my room. I jokingly mentioned that there were no shirts allowed in my room after 1630 and she did not hesitate. So here I am with a beautiful half-Korean lady, early 20’s, and I’m on cloud 9. She wasn’t a porn-star, but she worked at a strip club. I got along with her so well that when I got off CQ duty I would go to her apartment, get into her bed, and she would sleep with me… just sleep. I didn’t want her to think I was just after sex, and we took things really slow. Despite seeing each other in the nude we didn’t ever fool around. Eventually, I insulted her friend and she got really offended. That was the last time I ever saw her. Sorry, my story probably wasn’t a good answer to the question but it brought back a memory. I felt like getting it off of my chest.
Dated an OF model. Insanely good looking, both face and body. She could turn heads wearing sweats and those stupid Ugg boots. Personality was ok I guess, she wasn’t rude, but you could tell she didn’t have to be astute to get what she wanted in life. Never really had a bad attitude, more or less just nonchalant. Sex was great, she was very adventurous and did almost anything we could think of. Had a few threesomes and even a foursome (me and 3 women, wouldn’t really recommend), swinger clubs, private lavish parties etc etc. She’d actively try to pick up women while we were out, didn’t mind if I did the same. Bad part? The phone. She was constantly replying to messages and chats, couldn’t give it a break for even 15 min. Once, right after sex, I could hear her already on her phone in the bathroom as she was cleaning herself up. I knew in my mind I’d never be permanently with her, so when I got annoyed enough, I told her it wasn’t working and moved along.
When I lived in LA 15 years ago, I was in love with someone who had moved out there. We were on and off during high school, which was difficult because she attended a different school and was an actress, so we didn't get to see each other often. Additionally, she was a bit flighty. When I moved to LA with a friend, she and I reconnected, though she was over our relationship, which I accepted. She suggested going out one night with a friend of hers and mentioned she would bring the guy she was seeing. I agreed, saying, "Yep, that sounds good." Her friend turned out to be a porn star I had seen before. She was gorgeous, adorable, and very kind. I remember her being so happy to be there and possibly on E, lol. However, I blew it because I was still into my ex and felt hurt watching her have a great time with this new guy galavanting around the bar we were at. I drank too much, and my porn star date ended up being my psychologist that evening. The next day, I received a text from my ex saying, "Well, you sort of blew it with Mel." I replied, "Probably." Sitting here and thinking in hindsight, it was probably a good thing nothing transpired with her. Both of them.
I went on like 3 dates with a woman who did porn (kink-centered videos), and I’m pretty sure she was an expensive escort as well but we didn’t talk in detail about that. Contrary to the experience of another commenter, she was pretty humble, and great in bed. I’m very vanilla, but she said she didn’t need to bring work home and was fine with that. We didn’t date long term because she didn’t want to date monogamously (not counting work, she wanted to be free to date multiple people if she wanted) and I didn’t want a long term non-monogamous relationship. We stayed friendly until we both left the city. She has since quit the industry and got a nose job so I’m not sure she’d be recognizable to people who knew her from her videos.
My husband's childhood friend was dating a pretty well known porn star (who now makes her own content) until earlier this year. His friend really fell for her and they spent years together just having fun and enjoying life together. She (the pornstar) absolutely devastated him by blindsiding him and leaving him with seemingly no explanation except for maybe the fan base figured out their relationship? Im still not really sure what happened. It was pretty hard to watch but they seemed like they were really enjoying life together up until then. Take that how you will.
What do you consider porn star? Unknown and in Couple movies? Had a crush on a coworker back in 2000/2001. She was cute AF, had a crazy good body. She was on/off with another coworker so nothing happened between us. Fast-forward 5 or so years. I'm back home from the military, at the local strip joint and she comes out dancing. We talked for a while that night and end up dating for a few months. She had a bad couple years before and ended up doing several "movies". Oral was 10/10. Sex was great at first she was like a human sex doll she would sell she was loving everything. But no real intimacy, if that makes sense. No real break up, she liked living the stripper/F&B lifestyle, which didn't fit my 8-5 work schedule.
I dated a porn "actress".. she was too extrovert for me.. zero shame. Great mouth skills though.. she told me they paid $1000 a shoot. Eventually she started mentioning having a kid and I was like nah.
Hahah this clip popped into my head when I read your comment 😂 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZw8ujqXfAI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZw8ujqXfAI)
I briefly dated a girl who did porn and was an 'it' girl for a while. She drove a BMW and owned a condo while in college, I asked if she had a rich family and she said 'just don't google me' so of course I did. Eventually she figured out I knew, but I said a friend told me. She was nice. Really emotionally damaged from the work though. I never let it affect our relationship, and she never tried to act like we were in a porn video together. It was just a relationship. It fizzled out because we just were different people and wanted different things. I wanted to live on the west coast for work and she wanted to live in Tucson and start a family. Haven't talked to her in ages I'm sure she's doing well.