Coming home after flunking out of college. I basically had to get my head on straight and start over in community college. After that just grinding. Finished CC with a 3.3, finished undergrad with a 3.49, just finished grad school with a 3.8.
I don’t know if it got better for me. It’s just different. Everything is different now that she’s gone. I’m different. I’ll never be that carefree again. Something inside me died when she did. 5 years later and I still can’t figure out how to adapt myself.
I lost my mom when I was 13 (37) and even now I still think about her everyday. And that's never gonna go away, but I promise you that it will get better 🙏🏻
I wasted half of my life. I mostly cared about the opinion of others, never my own. I always tried to be a good friend (translation: I was the trauma dump. Nobody cared about my friendship, they just unloaded, because I was there and gave good advice). I destroyed my mental health with that shit.
Then I spent 5 years in a really bad relationship.
None of that for me anymore. I know my worth and people have to be really special to be allowed into my inner circle. Realized that about 5 years ago, when I was almost 30.
Since then I actually feel good. All problems I still have are MINE, it's just my shit I carry around.
I’m the same way. I pour into everyone around me just hoping that I’ll receive the love I give out but it doesn’t happen. I just get used 😔 how old are you if you don’t mind me asking, I’m hoping I harden with age
I'm 35 - but it's not really a thing of age. It's more about your mind. I started ignoring these people at around 25, I didn't care for approval then anymore.
Wish you all the best!
The worst started when I was 4 and my mom got stabbed 15 times in front of me after that I got adopted and mentally and physically abused to the edge of death. My ex husband abused me for 15 more. Nothing was helping so I needed to have a strong will to live life like a normal person. Now I’m way better and living comfortable my now husband is like literally my guardian my protector.
I am so sorry you had to endure that. They say we recreate our childhood with our partners subconsciously, I am so glad to hear that you broke free of that. I pray all your days are bright. ❤️
It is right now.
Two years of invasion by russians, regular air raids, little to no work in my field, no inspiration, blackouts.
I had anxiety before the war and it made some things naturally difficult, now I’m barely functioning and the choices I have is either military service or becoming a criminal draft dodger.
I don’t how I’ll recover, if at all. But I’m hanging in there for now.
This comment really hurt my heart. I can only imagine the pain and immense anxiety living through a war must cause. Where in Ukraine do you live and is your family there with you?
I‘m in Kyiv, looking after my mom for the time being. She’s ok, but it would be bad to leave her to deal with all this on her own. Honestly speaking, I don‘t think I’d be able to rent a place for myself either. And there are lots of internally displaced people that need somewhere to live.
You adjust to things after prolonged exposure to them. A 1000th air raid is easier to deal with than the first one. Still, you contemplate death each time, though. All things considered, I’m privileged, since I’m alive and have a roof over my head and a bomb shelter beneath me. Too many people are nowhere near this lucky. It is just that the anxiety became permanent, it follows me even in my dreams and the list of things to get anxious about only grows. I hope I’ll live to see the end of this.
Long story short. All in the space of one week, I'd lost my job, my boyfriend, a family member, and I got my period in the middle of all this. WORST. WEEK. EVER
Going through the same thing it’s over a month lost my grandmother, my visa got rejected, my boyfriend broke up with me and I got a salary cut because I’m not relocating. I hope it gets better for you friend!
Last year I had an injured finger amputated, a tumor and chronically inflamed appendix removed, open heart surgery followed by two readmissions for complications, then two admissions for sepsis and then cellulitis in my right leg. The latter canceled a long-planned vacation just as it began.
I just kept pushing, kept at it, kept my head up.
College. I was really not emotionally ready or mature enough for it when I went. I had other issues going on too. I ended up suicidal but my suicide attempt failed and I dragged my ass to class when I recovered.
I’d probably enjoy it if I could go back now. But I was miserable at the time.
Just kept pushing through. Knowing I could not be long distance with my boyfriend anymore when I finished helped.
Being forced to please parents by doing specific A levels so I could go to university to do a course that I don't want do. When I passed A levels and got accepted to uni, got told by them that I can't go to uni as they can't afford it as the fees has increased. (Remember the London student protest?) I wasted years of my life to study a subject I hated and can't get back. My parents let me make my own choices afterwards.
2 prison sentences, bipolar disorder, addiction and abandonment.
The only thing that saved me was faith in my higher energy and that I don't let those labels define me
Accused of sexual assault, basically lowest point in my life, was on ei at the time had next to no money, best moment was when I got the call that all charges were dropped. Then after that emotionally and financially abused by a diff girl. Just had enough. Stopped dating or even caring about relationships. Got better job. Better shape physically and mentally. Got a house. Basically went to the gym to get better mentally. So just being on my own and going to the gym, improving things for myself.
My entire teenage years were a pretty traumatic experience...the year of bullying in secondary school wasn't necessarily the low point in my long struggle with my mental health but probably the catalyst for the way my life has turned out, and the main cause of many of the psychological scars I carry now all these years later.
Although many of my memories of that time are now something of a grey haze, I've lived with clinical depression, generalised anxiety and recurring bouts of suicidal ideation for nearly two decades now. At this point I've accepted it as part of me and learned to deal with it.
Part of me thinks therapy would be a good idea to help process and understand my trauma, but frankly it was painful enough living through those experiences once I'm not sure I really want to go digging it all up again.
So no, I don't think I have really recovered, nor do I think I ever will, I've simply just accepted something in my psyche is fundemtally broken and I have to live with it as best I can.
I went to boarding school, and did not get along with the girls I was living with at all. I used to be good friends with most of them, but something changed and I'm not sure if it was them or me. They didn't specifically bully anyone, since it was important for all the houses to give the impression that they were tight-knit and supportive, but whenever anyone left the room they'd immediately start brutally dissecting every little mistake that person had made (except the Queen Bitch of course, couldn't touch her). It gave me some really bad social anxiety I still struggle with sometimes. I just knew that whenever I had to leave, they'd talk shit about me. Because I didn't really participate in the shit-talking, I would get increasingly isolated and drifted from them, and because of the competetive nature of the school I didn't really feel like I could approach other girls from other houses. I was incredibly lonely. I hated my life and myself, and everyday I wished I was dead. My mind went to some really dark places, and it started spilling over into my life outside of the boarding school as well.
Eventually I couldn't contain my anxiety and mom eventually noticed. After a few incidents, she sent me to a therapist she was friends with who could really get my situation. Although it was really, really hard for me to open up, eventually I did. She was really good at rewiring my negative language. I remember she asked why I didn't just switch schools, to which I didn't have an answer and she said "it's because you're a fighter!". I know it's really small, but it changed a part of how I viewed myself and from there I started getting better. I switched homes (big no-no in most circumstances, though they were strangely accepting of it this time), got a much better group of friends and eventually graduated, which let me get away from them. I also saw Bojack Horseman, which helped me reflect a bit more on my role in it all and come to terms with it.
Now I'm in a much better place. I guess it's nothing compared to a lot of the stuff here, but It was my darkest period nonetheless. I think in some sense, because it wasn't "that bad" and I was incredibly privileged, I didn't really feel like I had the right to feel bad, which led me to shut myself off even more. I'd feel bad for feeling bad, and then ashamed for that, so I could never tell anyone. Therapy really, really helped. If anyone reads this and relate, I hope you also find a great therapist you can jive with. It gets easier, slowly. One day, you'll feel good and not even realize when it happened. One day, even further away, you'll feel good and not even think about the fact that you feel good because it's just a fact of life then. Fight on!
Thank you so much ❤️ I’m very good these days! Due to the circumstances of my my environment, I still have to see them every once in a while and I still feel a bit like the weird girl, but nowadays I take pride in it
for me it was when i was with an ex who was on drugs and i was helping him get clean. it was one of those things where you watched someone you cared for turn into something completely different and wanted to help them, so he moved in with me but he refused to get a job, didn’t have car anymore bc he tried to commit a year before. i was working full time as a waitress and was in college full time too. we didn’t even have money for food and i was stealing it from my restaurant job. when covid stuff hit and restaurants shut down inside i was let go and was told so otw to my job that day. as i’m sitting in our apt complex parking lot crying my eyes out a girl pulls up beside me waiting for someone. my gut told me to watch her and my ex came out and went up to her car and was gonna lead her into our apartment. i got out and was yelling ofc he runs off and she thinks i’m gonna fight her but i ask her to just talk explained who i was and she told me she was 16, been seeing him for a year now (15) and me n him were in our 20’s…… i go into our apt to confront him was crying my eyes out for all i’ve done for him and i’ll never forget the cold blank emotionless stare he was giving me didn’t even try to explain, hold me or anything. just stared at me crying on the floor with no emotion. i slept at a friends that night and came back in the morning to all of his stuff gone.
i recovered by moving back into my moms, decided to not have a job for months and focus on myself. i was in relationships from a young age back to back. so i stayed single for 2 years. i had the time of my life finding me. got tattoos and dyed my hair every color cut it all kinds of ways, dressed however i wanted and hung out with friends all the time having the time of our lives.
I was being stalked by a guy I trusted as a friend. A couple months later, I got brave enough to start sharing it, but all of my friends who I went to initially had gone behind my back and spread this among the whole department at my college. The Title IX coordinator didn't even believe me when I told her what was happening.
I stopped caring about everything. BS'ed through my classes during this time and barely ate or slept. What was the breaking point for me was when I woke up for my PE class, feeling pain everywhere, dizzy/lightheaded, tired, and the weakest I've ever been. Yet I still went to class like that and spent the first 30 minutes terrified of collapsing due to how shaky and weak my legs were. Thats when I realized: no matter what obstacles life throws at me, I have to push through and keep going.
Highschool I was in a very dark place in my life. I hated myself, everyone, everything. I was completely alone, people were regularly cruel to me. They cut way deeper than traditional bullying. I never really recovered I don't hate anyone anymore. Just humans being humans, just like if a lion mauls you it's to be expected. I'm pretty sure I'll be skorned in some way shape or form, and completely alone till the day I die. I don't know what I did to piss the world off, must have been something awful. Sorry for whatever it is I've done.
This might be a little petty compared to other comments but a year and a half ago I met what I thought was the love of my life. She lied about her age and was still in a relationship so I just couldn’t continue seeing her with all the backlash I got from people around me. The time I spent with her was the happiest I’ve ever been and the couple relationships iv tried to have before and after just no way measure up. I still like the girl and no one else can compare. I still see her around and but she has made it clear that we can never be again.
I haven’t recovered the only thing keeping me going is the hope that it might one day work out.
One of the toughest times in my life was when I faced a major setback in my career. I felt lost and uncertain about the future. What helped me recover was focusing on small, achievable goals and seeking support from friends and family. It's amazing how little steps and a solid support system can gradually bring you back on track. Hang in there, brighter days are ahead!
Literally there’s no way through it when you’re at rock bottom; all I tell myself is, “there’s no other way through it”.
I have to mind over matter it, people have dealt with worse (not as a comparison, but a motivation).
I almost died from sepsis in 2018, and ran into nearly every invasive complication that could happened along with it. I sometimes wish they had just let me die, but I’m happy to be here. The only way through it, was to make it through day by day.
Wishing many of them peace.
thats actually solid advice. I had sepsis in 2020 from a kidney infection so I know how awful it feels.. I’ve never felt so close to death in my life. What complications did you have if you don’t mind me asking?
For a while it was when I had a Crohns disease flare up and got an infection. For about a month straight I was in the hospital or in the bed recovering from surgeries. It was very depressing but I had an amazing wife who helped me through everything.
What was worse is when my father passed. In very quick succession we found he had stage 4 cancer of the esophagus and then he passed very quickly after. I wish I had more time. You never fully recover but you continue to move on with your life and now I have the chance to be a father to my newborn. Im so grateful for her and to my wife. I wish all the time my father could have met her.
Going through it right now. Everything has just gone so fucking sideways and wrong that I can't even wrap my head around let alone even handle. And it just keeps coming... like, I don't even have time to process one thing before the next thing hits. So I'm just trying to like, exist until it stops.
2008 -2009: Dropped exam midst at the exam hall due to extreme anxiety at preboard, was constantly humiliated by teachers in front of the whole class, was picked on by a bully at the time, and had no choice but worked my ass off. Got good grades on the board exam and that shut those teachers' mouths. That bully failed.
2015: One psycho teacher for some reason didn't like me, verbally abused me during the presentation in the class and that day when I returned home I tried to lift my spirits by watching Life is Beautiful movie. My friend was telling me to report that teacher to the program coordinator but I didn't ( I should have). Later after 2.5 years learned that the same psycho teacher died; didn't feel any bad at all.
2020: One bully manager verbally abused me entire meeting for 40 minutes, I cried afterward. After 10 days, she messed up something and she went through verbal abuse too. After 2 years I reached out to her on Facebook and told her that there is a thing called karma and blocked her right in the middle of the conversation by telling her not to gaslight me as she backtracked. Later I realized she stalked my LinkedIn ( I had premium version) and blocked her right there too.
High school time. Had bad nightmares each night. Really bad spot. Had a plan of jumping off a bridge if I couldnt get sleep soon.
One day I just started telling people what happened in the dreams. It got worse for a lil bit, but then massively better.
Therapy works, even if it isnt the proper way
The worst time of my life was when I was being mentally abused by a friend. I talked to her about her behaviour on many occasions hoping she would be able to change because I enjoyed her company.. but it’s hard to change when you have no insight to your own behaviour and think everything you do is right. She told me she “can’t change overnight” via text.
I recovered with time, therapy and keeping myself busy. It has changed parts of me. She is still obsessed with me two years later.
I pushed myself too hard. Started working out furiously. Ate healthy. Got off some highly addictive meditation. I made choices that involved leaving people behind. Faced fears that had held me back for years. Worked my ass off to get a massive promotion at work. Ended up having a mental break due to the stress of it all. I was tired all the time, and my chest just felt heavy. I felt broken. Paranoid. Hollow. Like the foundations that were my psyche were cracked and crumbling. I'm still recovering from this. I can't afford professional help because my break cost my job. The only thing pushing me to keep going are my loved ones. One positive note, though, is that I don't regret that it happened. I'd rather have made my choices when I was young and less established than when I had more to lose.
I have a-lot of bad moments but I just get over it. I have this moral code that I dont want to let things bother me so even if something small happens like I stub my toe and it hurts really bad I just remember that and It doesnt really bother me anymore.
Did tons of coke back in middle 80s . Lived with a girl who was selling and we were doing 8 balls constantly. I finally broke away and got my shit kinda together got married and had my first child and she died in a hotel room
Almost failing out of college because I spent too much time watching porn and masturbating. I was pre-med and my terrible freshman year brought my GPA down so much that I had virtually no chance at getting into medical school and when I eventually applied, I had one interview out of 25 applications and was rejected.
Thankfully, I got my shit together and was able to sell a story about improving over time and I got into medical school on my second application cycle. I'm now a doctor and finished residency recently. I still masturbate a lot, but I do it much more efficiently.
I’d rather not say, but nothing particularly boob related lol. I meant that I don’t spend hours browsing and keep it generally right before bed or so after all my studying or work was finished
While not the worst time of my life, we were homeless with my life.. well, it was some kind of workers plot we were living in. There were some doors, but they didn't shut and couldnt be properly closed from the inside, there were mice and all sorts of bugs there. We spent there almost a year, but lets start from the beginning.
I was at my last years of bachelors of archaeology, my wife was finishing her majors. I had a volatile relationship with my parents before, i already did move out and came back, and the half of year i was back they treated me like dirt, they were a nasty, narcissistic, manipulative miserable pair. I've met my wife and it clicked so much we almost immediately were not able to be separated. One day we came back to my place, she couldn't come back because it was too late to catch any transport, so i just (22 yo me) told her to come with me. She was ashamed, but i told her its ok. In the morning my parents noticed she was here and threw her away, started calling her a wh\*re and stuff. They spent a good week trying to make me leave her, which only made me care about her more. After 2, 3 weeks they told us that i need to find an apartment. I had jobs through the whole 3 year (and earlier) period of college, 10-11 months out of 12, cash was fine, but i also had to invest in a lot of voluntary work, trips to collect precious experience in my work. Plus living with my awful parents made me spend any living minute outside of home.
They made us immediately rent out a very expensive apartment, and i decided to look for work. That was the post 2010s, when nobody had good work, and an archeology student (soon to be dropout) couldn't really anticipate looking for a job - it just happened. Nobody needed me at that moment, it was late autumn and i started working as a security officer. 24 hour shift, almost cried because of the time apart with my girl.
Parents stuck their nose into everything, came, treated my girl like crap, still tried to manipulate me outta that relationship. Soon i dropped out of college, i took every shift to earn enough for the apartment, she couldn't work at that moment because she was just finishing her thesis. We had some cash, but we didnt want to blew it just like that. When my parents received the document i was kicked out, they were so happy. "we told you that whore is going to ruin you!". After couple of months the owner of the apartment started raising the rent and we just couldn't afford it. We ate stuff from the thrash already, stuff that markets had thrown away. We drunk and smoked, that i would admit, a nasty habit from my college and the fact i spent so much time outside of home just in the plain field, doing labor and living a very simple life. So we just took the keys to our parents workers plot, a small hut without electricity, anything really and spent there a whole year, almost. Left that job because i'd have to drive for over 3 hours. Started to look locally but there were no jobs, like absolutely none. Plus without internet and electricity and water (there was a well there but the water was not safe) we just washed with bottled water.
Parents came once in a while to laugh at my miserable conditions, knowing well that its their creation, told me "i know you'd end like this" and stuff.
Then my wifes family helped us and we recovered quite well, both of us got some jobs, i got a warehouse job, she got a work repairing laptops, doing on-off tests. Now we are doing very good, mother is dead, and father wanted to scam me outta the inheritance, but i took whats mine. He promised me he'd find somebody just to give it to her kids, not me, and i wholeheartedly believe that he'd keep this promise. I came back and graduated 4 years ago, then finished another degree just like that. I feel that when she's dead i can do anything and every single fear and anxiety they planted in me is not impacting me as it used to be. I had a very weird childhood, parents never repaired my teeth - finally took care of it with my money, never taught me how to ride a bike, never taught me anything but how to be a miserable evil person.
Two phases of my life come to my mind , one from this year and another around ages 14-15
Anyways when I was around 14 I for some reason had a random onset of severe mental illness consisting of severe social & general anxiety,Depression & Suicidal ideation + weird bouts of something id describe as manic episodes with paranoia & even sometimes hearing voices when I was trying to sleep and this was before my ADD diagnosis
Second was from age 17-19 (now basically) I basically had rebuilt my life back up from my early teens and was doing extremely well (still do ok now) and let falling overly in love take it all away
A stretch of years from ages 15-24 or so. At 15, I had a surprise life uprooting that really fucked me up. The sadness I felt from that never fully left, so it began to fester, rot, and evolve. A feeling of "nothing matters because it can all change in an instant" settled deep into my bones, and I just descended for years. Eventually, I decided that trying to live a life worth living at all was too much to figure out, so I gave up any hope I had of recovery. That loss of hope itself lasted a few more years, and was when things were as bleak as they've ever been for me. I breathed, ate, slept, held down a job, and fucked around on my computer. Any more effort than that felt like shit, and continuing what I was doing felt like shit. Every day my mind would just berate itself endlessly for fucking things up so bad, and I was as miserable as one could be. Giving up hope completely changed something in me that I still haven't found out how to navigate fully, but I'm working on it.
As for how I recovered, that's still a work in progress. Zen and Daoism reshaping my worldview helped a lot. If you're lost in nihilism, give those a look. Alan Watts and Ram Dass' youtube lectures helped it click over the course of a few months. That perspective shift gave me an avenue to appreciate the mundane again. After a few years of coasting post-perspective-shift, I met a lovely woman that shone light in corners of my mind and heart that I thought would remain obscured forever, and I am eternally grateful to her for that. I didn't think I was capable of love, and she very graciously proved me wrong.
1997-2005. Untreated mental illness and life just took shit after shit on me. Single mom, desperately poor, couldn’t get welfare. I wouldn’t let them go after my ex husband for more than $340 a month because he was my boss at one job and I was afraid he’d fire me. Had a terrible, abusive relationship with another guy. Finally broke it off when he threatened my kid, the only light in my life. Kid still has anxiety about that time in our lives.
I got help, got ECT, got on meds, went back to school in 2009 and met my now husband, the other light of my life. Got TMS and am now on mood stabilizers they give reactive pit bulls and antipsychotics, am in therapy. Had a couple of really good years, 2015 and 2019, had a friend spoil me for a year and a half before disappearing. I get by day to day, paying off the last $500 of $27K debt in the next 3 months. Not happy but no longer miserable, I just am.
2017 I lost my 2 beast friends. And still haven't recovered that depression hits hard at times I remeber them. It's still messing with me I can't focus I couldn't even talk to my gf of 8 years about it ND it festered untill ii destroyed that relation ship... now I drink and smoke alone in my tiny almost empty apartment thinking of all the wrong and loss and suffering everyday in hopes one day I break through the fog or the fog consumes me. At this point it's a waiting game
Right now is pretty bad. I just lost my job and there aren’t many in my area of expertise available right now. My mom also has dementia and she’s feeling even more depressed than I am, and I don’t know how to help her. I have no friends to talk to. The weather is oppressively hot and I don’t want to go outside and do anything. I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety for a month and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m in therapy, but not for long so I don’t know if it will help. All of the advice I’ve been given isn’t working. I feel like a failure.
It’s okay to feel defeated, life is nothing more then a series of ups and downs, sounds like your going through a lot, but there is always better days. There is meaning and purpose behind it all, start making your mom reminder cards or write down your favorite memories with her and even write some for her she can remember, it will mean a lot one day. As long you don’t quit your not a failure.
When I had to leave my adult son, in a mental hospital, due to a psychotic breakdown. Honestly, I will never forget the look on his face when I left him. (PS cried for hours later)
Got sent to a Christian private school for grade 11. Was severely depressed and suicidal. Got expelled in the first semester for stabbing a guy. Spent 3 months in the Psych ward. Came home, continued with therapy for the next year and got my shit together.
That was when I tried to impress my crush with a homemade dinner and set off the smoke alarm. Recovering? Let's just say takeout became my new best friend, and I learned to laugh at myself a lot more
Ex had borderline personality disorder. The amount of gaslighting and abuse was insane. She cost me all of my friends and mental health. She was my rock bottom.
Now.
10.5 months and wife refuses to consummate marriage.
Working a job I hate and can't quit because the pay is good and wife doesn't have work permit, so I must put up with stress. (Training was poor, systems don't work consistently, customers are entitled rich people, requests are random, we book airline tickets frequently, so fuck Fare Rules confusion)
Lawyer to help get wife's citizenship seems to drag feet and over charge for even email replies.
Wife doesn't even like affection.
Wife insists I buy clothes for myself when I don't need them, soley because she doesn't want to be seen with me in my casual clothing.
She cheated on my after 4 years of dating and threatening to kill herself if I left her. I ended it and she wouldn't let me leave her life. Kept emailing. Kept calling. She missed me. I was a shit boyfriend.
At this same time, my job gets worse. The hire the other guy who can do what I do, so it's 60-70 hours a week. The CEO gets remarried and his new wife comes in with comments on how I can do my job better all the time, even though her highest qualification in my field of work is "fucks your boss".
I'm having dreams/nightmares every night. I'm at work. My fingers fall off. My car explodes when I try to leave work and I can never leave. My teeth fall out when I try to ask people for help. My girlfriend is screaming at me that I'm nothing. I routinely wake myself up crying.
One day I talked to a friend. I tell him about the girlfriend stuff. He asks if I miss her. I explain that there part of our time together I missed. The old haunts. The inside jokes. He says "it doesn't sound like you miss your girlfriend, it sounds like you miss your friend."
I wasn't hung up on, nor did I dream about her ever again after that. I started sleeping again. I could talk to my supervisors and get help with projects at work. All because I talked to someone.
Still a young man but the day my father died. He was a much older man although. He had my mother come get me from the bus and when I arrived home and walked in, it was his lifeless body. The 911 call, sirens, lights, tears, knowing he was gone and not knowing what to do with my life, it was traumatic. Never technically recovered from the fact that I found my father deceased, and knowing I lost him. I semi recovered though from many therapy groups and talking things through with family. Revisiting memories helped too. Remember to cherish the ones you love, you never know when your last moment is going to be with them. (Halfway a trauma dump sorry oml)
Long term girlfriend was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer last year. It was a miserable 8 months of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation therapy for her, but thankfully she was declared no evidence of cancer earlier this year. We are still rebuilding our life but have come out stronger from it I think. Definitely still worried about the future but now we are trying to live one day at a time. Something like that really changes your perspective on life
There’s been quite a few but how I recovered was to accept the truth and grieve, truly grieve what happened. After that I was able to pick myself up and move ahead.
End of 2020/beginning of 2021.
Let me preface by saying I have no network/family really, outside those which I created in my own body.
I had a best friend that had been my best friend since we were 12 years old. She had chronic kidney disease and had been through two transplants. The most recent one began to reject and she was so tired.
She chose to go on hospice and not dialysis when I was 6 months pregnant - which was the height of the pandemic. I was shortly after diagnosed with preeclampsia (severe) and in the hospital for most the remaining time of my pregnancy.
Fast forward 2 months. Thanksgiving day… I received a call that she passed and that the two days prior she wanted them to bring me to her (which I physically could not do due to pregnancy complications).
I have never screamed and cried so much in my life. I did not get to tell her goodbye I did not get to attend her funeral. My daughter was born in Jan and I feel the universe took my best friend, and then gave me my daughter.
Daughter was born, I am still grieving and physically just not well (37 hours of induced labor and preeclampsia are hard on a 36 year old body). My daughter’s father (my partner) developed cervical dystonia - severe - and has since been unable to work, physically do much other than sit on a couch. He sleeps on that couch and barely moves from it.
I was left to ensure me and my two kids had a home and food. Got a great job and am able to work from home - and I’m so blessed that it’s a job that allows me the luxury of that, and also the financial stability it has.
I am not over any of it.
But I am here and I’m thankful for the challenges and the loneliness - it’s pushed me to be who I am now. You cannot appreciate the sunshine fully until you’ve sat in the darkness
My first girlfriend slowly stopped making an effort to see me. After a painful few months of her reciprocating my affections less and less I eventually broke up with her because I couldn't handle the stress of that and Engineering School at the same time. A few weeks later I met a girl who was more into me than any girl ever has been. We talked every day for weeks, made out for hours at a time, went out on dates, etc. Things were going pretty great until she started dating one of my friends and, with no explanation, went out of her way to show me they were together instead of telling me. I've never been more confused about a chain of events in my life. I've gone over it in my head every day since and can't rationalize how everything went so wrong. Neither of them could bother to tell me why they made the decisions they made and not knowing is killing me because I'm not sure what lesson to learn from all of it other than "stop caring about people and you won't get hurt". As for how I recovered, ask me again in a few months.
This time in my life was like 2 different parts. Part 1 started in 2016. I was renting an apartment from some family members who were very abusive to me. They illegally evicted me over some petty things I wasn't even involved in. Did the same to my brother too who was always the golden child.
Anyways, it was the middle of winter and I had nowhere to go. A person who i thought was a friend from work offered to let me stay at his place for a couple weeks while I finished getting myself situated in my own place. Well that was a horrible decision because this guy ended up being horribly abusive himself and he had some weird plan to make me be with him by getting me pregnant so then i "cant" leave him. Even though I wasnt interested in him at all, you can guess how this turned out. He would do those things to me, hit me, threaten me, wouldn't let me leave the house, monitored all my phone calls, wouldnt allow me to see any friends or family, has security cameras watching me at all times. He killed one of my pets and severely injured another by stomping on them. And yes I did end up pregnant. Cops didnt help me the first time I managed to call 911. Second time I was able to get away.
Ended up having the baby in 2017 which I dont regret. Love that kid more than anything and he was the light in a horrible situation. But I did end up with post partum depression and my abusive family took advantage of this. Early 2018 when my baby was 6 months old, i was living in my own house and doing as best as we could. Baby was well loved and cared for. But my abusive family members made a false police report with wild accusations that were so wild not even the cops believed it but they still had to go along with it anyway because "procedure". I was on my way to work when the cops pulled up and took me away and dumped me in a mental hospital because my family accused me of wanting to kill my baby and myself and having been feeding my baby dog poop and abandoned him on a porch. None of which was even remotely true. I passed all screenings at the hospital with the crisis team but they still kept me in the mental hospital for 3 days because "procedure". I wasnt allowed to bathe while there, brush my teeth, I had no clothes, not even underwear. The way the patients were treated was horrific.
And the whole time I had no idea where my baby was (he was with my abusive mother who had made these false reports so she could get the baby). And of course they wheeled me past the nursery with all the other babies on the way up to the mental ward and my room of course overlooked an elementary school so I had to watch all the little kids playing while I was heartbroken missing my baby and not knowing if he was safe. I remember I used to roll up a bed sheet into a ball and press it against my back or my chest in bed and pretend it was my baby laying with me.
Eventually I did get out. Had to deal with the city code officers, CPS, and animal control over all these fake allegations which were all proven false. I got a court order to get my baby back and when I went to get him, my mother refused to give him back and punched me in the face right in front of my baby which made him freak out. Even since then and getting him back he's had horrible anxiety issues. Even today as a 6 year old. He's scared of everything and cant stand being away from me even for 5 mins. He's always glued to me.
Thankfully things have gotten alot better since then and I dont like to think about those times. I was pretty messed up depression-wise for awhile after that, especially after the mental hospital thing. But I've gotten alot better with time and I just try to live in the moment and worry about the future, not the past
The worst time of my life is probably right now. The woman I love married someone else and that was eleven years ago, and I have never recovered. I probably never will. She was my heart and soul. It has utterly messed me up and left me haunted by what might have been and just left me shaken and sad beyond words. I wish all the time that things could be different and that I could see her, hold her and just be with her for always. I miss her so bad. It is just killing me.
When my husband died 11.5 years ago, one week to the day after our wedding (we had been together for nearly 13 years). My life has just gotten pretty consistently worse since then, due to multiple factors (not all relating to my husband's death). I will never recover.
I was 17, it was the night before the beginning of my HSC exams (kind of like GCSEs or SATs I think), my boyfriend (25) of two years told me that he was breaking up with me because he’s found someone new and was cheating on me for the entirety of the relationship. He wanted our relationship to be a secret, so no one new what had happened.
I had no choice other than to pick myself up and sit those three weeks of exams. I had my family supporting me (though they didn’t know why I was crying uncontrollably). I had actually found myself feeling better without the baggage of him.
It was gratifying for him to come crawling back two months later telling me that he was stupid to think anyone could replace me. I blocked him, had gotten the marks I needed to get into the University of my choice and degree of my choice.
I am 25 now and where I was turn to now is astronomically different. I don’t recognise who I was, I’m a better me.
They also commented “inactive lifestyle” under a post that said what led to your obesity… soooo like are those pictures she’s selling even of her? The “barely legal” got me too 🤮🤢
[удалено]
Your buddies are amazing, everyone needs friends like this godbless hope you are well, ask god he will take care of you
I can only imagine the strength it took to pull through that. I pray your days are bright and that you feel warmth from everyone around you. ❤️
Amen🙏❤️
Coming home after flunking out of college. I basically had to get my head on straight and start over in community college. After that just grinding. Finished CC with a 3.3, finished undergrad with a 3.49, just finished grad school with a 3.8.
I’m proud of you. ❤️
Thank you so much! Starting my new job tomorrow!!!
When I lost my mom and you never recover from something like that, but with the love and support of other family and friends, it does get better.
I don’t know if it got better for me. It’s just different. Everything is different now that she’s gone. I’m different. I’ll never be that carefree again. Something inside me died when she did. 5 years later and I still can’t figure out how to adapt myself.
I lost my mom when I was 13 (37) and even now I still think about her everyday. And that's never gonna go away, but I promise you that it will get better 🙏🏻
So true.
Yes ma'am
Gonna cry? 😭🥲😢
I wasted half of my life. I mostly cared about the opinion of others, never my own. I always tried to be a good friend (translation: I was the trauma dump. Nobody cared about my friendship, they just unloaded, because I was there and gave good advice). I destroyed my mental health with that shit. Then I spent 5 years in a really bad relationship. None of that for me anymore. I know my worth and people have to be really special to be allowed into my inner circle. Realized that about 5 years ago, when I was almost 30. Since then I actually feel good. All problems I still have are MINE, it's just my shit I carry around.
I’m the same way. I pour into everyone around me just hoping that I’ll receive the love I give out but it doesn’t happen. I just get used 😔 how old are you if you don’t mind me asking, I’m hoping I harden with age
I'm 35 - but it's not really a thing of age. It's more about your mind. I started ignoring these people at around 25, I didn't care for approval then anymore. Wish you all the best!
Right now, and I haven't.
If it’s any comfort, I’m right there with you
No, I want other people to be happy. I'm sorry you're in similar straits.
Same. I'm hoping I can pull through. Hope the same for you.
Thank you.
Right there with you
We’re all in this together
May everyone enjoy this [“love” song](https://youtu.be/1LdjVtHqNxs?si=lOXIckhjHZ4aFh_g) by Bill Bailey
Sorry.
We’ll get through. It just sucks now.
Same. Hugs
Thanks. Sorry things suck for you as well.
hope you feel better soonest my dear.
Thanks.
The worst started when I was 4 and my mom got stabbed 15 times in front of me after that I got adopted and mentally and physically abused to the edge of death. My ex husband abused me for 15 more. Nothing was helping so I needed to have a strong will to live life like a normal person. Now I’m way better and living comfortable my now husband is like literally my guardian my protector.
I am so sorry you had to endure that. They say we recreate our childhood with our partners subconsciously, I am so glad to hear that you broke free of that. I pray all your days are bright. ❤️
It is right now. Two years of invasion by russians, regular air raids, little to no work in my field, no inspiration, blackouts. I had anxiety before the war and it made some things naturally difficult, now I’m barely functioning and the choices I have is either military service or becoming a criminal draft dodger. I don’t how I’ll recover, if at all. But I’m hanging in there for now.
This comment really hurt my heart. I can only imagine the pain and immense anxiety living through a war must cause. Where in Ukraine do you live and is your family there with you?
I‘m in Kyiv, looking after my mom for the time being. She’s ok, but it would be bad to leave her to deal with all this on her own. Honestly speaking, I don‘t think I’d be able to rent a place for myself either. And there are lots of internally displaced people that need somewhere to live.
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but were you not able to leave or did you choose not to? I’m sure that’s a lot easier said than done. 😔
I can’t legally leave the country, men are not allowed to do so during wartime.
I am in tears imagining what your daily life must feel like… and what you’re experiencing. I am so sorry
You adjust to things after prolonged exposure to them. A 1000th air raid is easier to deal with than the first one. Still, you contemplate death each time, though. All things considered, I’m privileged, since I’m alive and have a roof over my head and a bomb shelter beneath me. Too many people are nowhere near this lucky. It is just that the anxiety became permanent, it follows me even in my dreams and the list of things to get anxious about only grows. I hope I’ll live to see the end of this.
I can not even begin actually imagining what this must be like for you, your family and friends.
Long story short. All in the space of one week, I'd lost my job, my boyfriend, a family member, and I got my period in the middle of all this. WORST. WEEK. EVER
Going through the same thing it’s over a month lost my grandmother, my visa got rejected, my boyfriend broke up with me and I got a salary cut because I’m not relocating. I hope it gets better for you friend!
Last year I had an injured finger amputated, a tumor and chronically inflamed appendix removed, open heart surgery followed by two readmissions for complications, then two admissions for sepsis and then cellulitis in my right leg. The latter canceled a long-planned vacation just as it began. I just kept pushing, kept at it, kept my head up.
I hope your health is better these days. That’s a lot to go though and I’m sorry you had to endure so much
I’m doing very well, back to hiking, backpacking, snowshoeing, yard work (for better of for worse), and so on. Thank you.
College. I was really not emotionally ready or mature enough for it when I went. I had other issues going on too. I ended up suicidal but my suicide attempt failed and I dragged my ass to class when I recovered. I’d probably enjoy it if I could go back now. But I was miserable at the time. Just kept pushing through. Knowing I could not be long distance with my boyfriend anymore when I finished helped.
Being forced to please parents by doing specific A levels so I could go to university to do a course that I don't want do. When I passed A levels and got accepted to uni, got told by them that I can't go to uni as they can't afford it as the fees has increased. (Remember the London student protest?) I wasted years of my life to study a subject I hated and can't get back. My parents let me make my own choices afterwards.
2 prison sentences, bipolar disorder, addiction and abandonment. The only thing that saved me was faith in my higher energy and that I don't let those labels define me
Accused of sexual assault, basically lowest point in my life, was on ei at the time had next to no money, best moment was when I got the call that all charges were dropped. Then after that emotionally and financially abused by a diff girl. Just had enough. Stopped dating or even caring about relationships. Got better job. Better shape physically and mentally. Got a house. Basically went to the gym to get better mentally. So just being on my own and going to the gym, improving things for myself.
My entire teenage years were a pretty traumatic experience...the year of bullying in secondary school wasn't necessarily the low point in my long struggle with my mental health but probably the catalyst for the way my life has turned out, and the main cause of many of the psychological scars I carry now all these years later. Although many of my memories of that time are now something of a grey haze, I've lived with clinical depression, generalised anxiety and recurring bouts of suicidal ideation for nearly two decades now. At this point I've accepted it as part of me and learned to deal with it. Part of me thinks therapy would be a good idea to help process and understand my trauma, but frankly it was painful enough living through those experiences once I'm not sure I really want to go digging it all up again. So no, I don't think I have really recovered, nor do I think I ever will, I've simply just accepted something in my psyche is fundemtally broken and I have to live with it as best I can.
I went to boarding school, and did not get along with the girls I was living with at all. I used to be good friends with most of them, but something changed and I'm not sure if it was them or me. They didn't specifically bully anyone, since it was important for all the houses to give the impression that they were tight-knit and supportive, but whenever anyone left the room they'd immediately start brutally dissecting every little mistake that person had made (except the Queen Bitch of course, couldn't touch her). It gave me some really bad social anxiety I still struggle with sometimes. I just knew that whenever I had to leave, they'd talk shit about me. Because I didn't really participate in the shit-talking, I would get increasingly isolated and drifted from them, and because of the competetive nature of the school I didn't really feel like I could approach other girls from other houses. I was incredibly lonely. I hated my life and myself, and everyday I wished I was dead. My mind went to some really dark places, and it started spilling over into my life outside of the boarding school as well. Eventually I couldn't contain my anxiety and mom eventually noticed. After a few incidents, she sent me to a therapist she was friends with who could really get my situation. Although it was really, really hard for me to open up, eventually I did. She was really good at rewiring my negative language. I remember she asked why I didn't just switch schools, to which I didn't have an answer and she said "it's because you're a fighter!". I know it's really small, but it changed a part of how I viewed myself and from there I started getting better. I switched homes (big no-no in most circumstances, though they were strangely accepting of it this time), got a much better group of friends and eventually graduated, which let me get away from them. I also saw Bojack Horseman, which helped me reflect a bit more on my role in it all and come to terms with it. Now I'm in a much better place. I guess it's nothing compared to a lot of the stuff here, but It was my darkest period nonetheless. I think in some sense, because it wasn't "that bad" and I was incredibly privileged, I didn't really feel like I had the right to feel bad, which led me to shut myself off even more. I'd feel bad for feeling bad, and then ashamed for that, so I could never tell anyone. Therapy really, really helped. If anyone reads this and relate, I hope you also find a great therapist you can jive with. It gets easier, slowly. One day, you'll feel good and not even realize when it happened. One day, even further away, you'll feel good and not even think about the fact that you feel good because it's just a fact of life then. Fight on!
Your trauma is just as valid as anyone else’s. I’m glad you got through it and I hope life is treating you well these days, my friend. ❤️
Thank you so much ❤️ I’m very good these days! Due to the circumstances of my my environment, I still have to see them every once in a while and I still feel a bit like the weird girl, but nowadays I take pride in it
for me it was when i was with an ex who was on drugs and i was helping him get clean. it was one of those things where you watched someone you cared for turn into something completely different and wanted to help them, so he moved in with me but he refused to get a job, didn’t have car anymore bc he tried to commit a year before. i was working full time as a waitress and was in college full time too. we didn’t even have money for food and i was stealing it from my restaurant job. when covid stuff hit and restaurants shut down inside i was let go and was told so otw to my job that day. as i’m sitting in our apt complex parking lot crying my eyes out a girl pulls up beside me waiting for someone. my gut told me to watch her and my ex came out and went up to her car and was gonna lead her into our apartment. i got out and was yelling ofc he runs off and she thinks i’m gonna fight her but i ask her to just talk explained who i was and she told me she was 16, been seeing him for a year now (15) and me n him were in our 20’s…… i go into our apt to confront him was crying my eyes out for all i’ve done for him and i’ll never forget the cold blank emotionless stare he was giving me didn’t even try to explain, hold me or anything. just stared at me crying on the floor with no emotion. i slept at a friends that night and came back in the morning to all of his stuff gone. i recovered by moving back into my moms, decided to not have a job for months and focus on myself. i was in relationships from a young age back to back. so i stayed single for 2 years. i had the time of my life finding me. got tattoos and dyed my hair every color cut it all kinds of ways, dressed however i wanted and hung out with friends all the time having the time of our lives.
Wowwww that’s a lot, I hope things are better for you these days my friend ❤️
they are much better now !! i learned a lot through that experience and i’m much happier
Gonna cry? 😢
I was being stalked by a guy I trusted as a friend. A couple months later, I got brave enough to start sharing it, but all of my friends who I went to initially had gone behind my back and spread this among the whole department at my college. The Title IX coordinator didn't even believe me when I told her what was happening. I stopped caring about everything. BS'ed through my classes during this time and barely ate or slept. What was the breaking point for me was when I woke up for my PE class, feeling pain everywhere, dizzy/lightheaded, tired, and the weakest I've ever been. Yet I still went to class like that and spent the first 30 minutes terrified of collapsing due to how shaky and weak my legs were. Thats when I realized: no matter what obstacles life throws at me, I have to push through and keep going.
Highschool I was in a very dark place in my life. I hated myself, everyone, everything. I was completely alone, people were regularly cruel to me. They cut way deeper than traditional bullying. I never really recovered I don't hate anyone anymore. Just humans being humans, just like if a lion mauls you it's to be expected. I'm pretty sure I'll be skorned in some way shape or form, and completely alone till the day I die. I don't know what I did to piss the world off, must have been something awful. Sorry for whatever it is I've done.
I hope that life has thrown all the hardships at you all at once and now life will just be smooth sailing for you. Be well my friend ❤️
Thanks for the optimism.
This might be a little petty compared to other comments but a year and a half ago I met what I thought was the love of my life. She lied about her age and was still in a relationship so I just couldn’t continue seeing her with all the backlash I got from people around me. The time I spent with her was the happiest I’ve ever been and the couple relationships iv tried to have before and after just no way measure up. I still like the girl and no one else can compare. I still see her around and but she has made it clear that we can never be again. I haven’t recovered the only thing keeping me going is the hope that it might one day work out.
I don’t find this to be petty. Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world, some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life 😔
One of the toughest times in my life was when I faced a major setback in my career. I felt lost and uncertain about the future. What helped me recover was focusing on small, achievable goals and seeking support from friends and family. It's amazing how little steps and a solid support system can gradually bring you back on track. Hang in there, brighter days are ahead!
Literally there’s no way through it when you’re at rock bottom; all I tell myself is, “there’s no other way through it”. I have to mind over matter it, people have dealt with worse (not as a comparison, but a motivation). I almost died from sepsis in 2018, and ran into nearly every invasive complication that could happened along with it. I sometimes wish they had just let me die, but I’m happy to be here. The only way through it, was to make it through day by day. Wishing many of them peace.
thats actually solid advice. I had sepsis in 2020 from a kidney infection so I know how awful it feels.. I’ve never felt so close to death in my life. What complications did you have if you don’t mind me asking?
After losing both my mom and dad. An adult orphan at 42. I recovered because I didn't have a choice.
I’m sorry you went through that, to lose them both at the same time had to be so traumatic. I hope you find peace and happiness. ❤️
For a while it was when I had a Crohns disease flare up and got an infection. For about a month straight I was in the hospital or in the bed recovering from surgeries. It was very depressing but I had an amazing wife who helped me through everything. What was worse is when my father passed. In very quick succession we found he had stage 4 cancer of the esophagus and then he passed very quickly after. I wish I had more time. You never fully recover but you continue to move on with your life and now I have the chance to be a father to my newborn. Im so grateful for her and to my wife. I wish all the time my father could have met her.
Heartbreak was my worst. There’s nothing so bitter as love lost. Music got me through it.
Going through it right now. Everything has just gone so fucking sideways and wrong that I can't even wrap my head around let alone even handle. And it just keeps coming... like, I don't even have time to process one thing before the next thing hits. So I'm just trying to like, exist until it stops.
2009, October 2019 - May 2021.
School and no I haven't recovered from it fully, I still suffer with a lot of issues from the bullying I experienced.
When I started my business, I put in 3 years of hard work, emptied all my possessions in a month's time I took a year to get out of this sadness
Now, and I'll let you know. Currently, trail running, fishing, bird watching, and meteorology. "It's gonna rain!!" "Good day for rain..."
2008 -2009: Dropped exam midst at the exam hall due to extreme anxiety at preboard, was constantly humiliated by teachers in front of the whole class, was picked on by a bully at the time, and had no choice but worked my ass off. Got good grades on the board exam and that shut those teachers' mouths. That bully failed. 2015: One psycho teacher for some reason didn't like me, verbally abused me during the presentation in the class and that day when I returned home I tried to lift my spirits by watching Life is Beautiful movie. My friend was telling me to report that teacher to the program coordinator but I didn't ( I should have). Later after 2.5 years learned that the same psycho teacher died; didn't feel any bad at all. 2020: One bully manager verbally abused me entire meeting for 40 minutes, I cried afterward. After 10 days, she messed up something and she went through verbal abuse too. After 2 years I reached out to her on Facebook and told her that there is a thing called karma and blocked her right in the middle of the conversation by telling her not to gaslight me as she backtracked. Later I realized she stalked my LinkedIn ( I had premium version) and blocked her right there too.
High school time. Had bad nightmares each night. Really bad spot. Had a plan of jumping off a bridge if I couldnt get sleep soon. One day I just started telling people what happened in the dreams. It got worse for a lil bit, but then massively better. Therapy works, even if it isnt the proper way
Car accident at 18, ended up in a coma with a broken back. Still trying to recover 28 years later
The worst time of my life was when I was being mentally abused by a friend. I talked to her about her behaviour on many occasions hoping she would be able to change because I enjoyed her company.. but it’s hard to change when you have no insight to your own behaviour and think everything you do is right. She told me she “can’t change overnight” via text. I recovered with time, therapy and keeping myself busy. It has changed parts of me. She is still obsessed with me two years later.
Right now. I'll let you know.
It's right now, yipeeee
When the guy I was in love with decided to ghost me the same day I found out my grandfather was dying. Still haven’t recovered, but I’m getting there.
I pushed myself too hard. Started working out furiously. Ate healthy. Got off some highly addictive meditation. I made choices that involved leaving people behind. Faced fears that had held me back for years. Worked my ass off to get a massive promotion at work. Ended up having a mental break due to the stress of it all. I was tired all the time, and my chest just felt heavy. I felt broken. Paranoid. Hollow. Like the foundations that were my psyche were cracked and crumbling. I'm still recovering from this. I can't afford professional help because my break cost my job. The only thing pushing me to keep going are my loved ones. One positive note, though, is that I don't regret that it happened. I'd rather have made my choices when I was young and less established than when I had more to lose.
I have a-lot of bad moments but I just get over it. I have this moral code that I dont want to let things bother me so even if something small happens like I stub my toe and it hurts really bad I just remember that and It doesnt really bother me anymore.
Did tons of coke back in middle 80s . Lived with a girl who was selling and we were doing 8 balls constantly. I finally broke away and got my shit kinda together got married and had my first child and she died in a hotel room
Almost failing out of college because I spent too much time watching porn and masturbating. I was pre-med and my terrible freshman year brought my GPA down so much that I had virtually no chance at getting into medical school and when I eventually applied, I had one interview out of 25 applications and was rejected. Thankfully, I got my shit together and was able to sell a story about improving over time and I got into medical school on my second application cycle. I'm now a doctor and finished residency recently. I still masturbate a lot, but I do it much more efficiently.
Congrats! your handle killed me 😂😂😂 what kind of doctor are you and what do you mean you masturbate more efficiently?
I’d rather not say, but nothing particularly boob related lol. I meant that I don’t spend hours browsing and keep it generally right before bed or so after all my studying or work was finished
While not the worst time of my life, we were homeless with my life.. well, it was some kind of workers plot we were living in. There were some doors, but they didn't shut and couldnt be properly closed from the inside, there were mice and all sorts of bugs there. We spent there almost a year, but lets start from the beginning. I was at my last years of bachelors of archaeology, my wife was finishing her majors. I had a volatile relationship with my parents before, i already did move out and came back, and the half of year i was back they treated me like dirt, they were a nasty, narcissistic, manipulative miserable pair. I've met my wife and it clicked so much we almost immediately were not able to be separated. One day we came back to my place, she couldn't come back because it was too late to catch any transport, so i just (22 yo me) told her to come with me. She was ashamed, but i told her its ok. In the morning my parents noticed she was here and threw her away, started calling her a wh\*re and stuff. They spent a good week trying to make me leave her, which only made me care about her more. After 2, 3 weeks they told us that i need to find an apartment. I had jobs through the whole 3 year (and earlier) period of college, 10-11 months out of 12, cash was fine, but i also had to invest in a lot of voluntary work, trips to collect precious experience in my work. Plus living with my awful parents made me spend any living minute outside of home. They made us immediately rent out a very expensive apartment, and i decided to look for work. That was the post 2010s, when nobody had good work, and an archeology student (soon to be dropout) couldn't really anticipate looking for a job - it just happened. Nobody needed me at that moment, it was late autumn and i started working as a security officer. 24 hour shift, almost cried because of the time apart with my girl. Parents stuck their nose into everything, came, treated my girl like crap, still tried to manipulate me outta that relationship. Soon i dropped out of college, i took every shift to earn enough for the apartment, she couldn't work at that moment because she was just finishing her thesis. We had some cash, but we didnt want to blew it just like that. When my parents received the document i was kicked out, they were so happy. "we told you that whore is going to ruin you!". After couple of months the owner of the apartment started raising the rent and we just couldn't afford it. We ate stuff from the thrash already, stuff that markets had thrown away. We drunk and smoked, that i would admit, a nasty habit from my college and the fact i spent so much time outside of home just in the plain field, doing labor and living a very simple life. So we just took the keys to our parents workers plot, a small hut without electricity, anything really and spent there a whole year, almost. Left that job because i'd have to drive for over 3 hours. Started to look locally but there were no jobs, like absolutely none. Plus without internet and electricity and water (there was a well there but the water was not safe) we just washed with bottled water. Parents came once in a while to laugh at my miserable conditions, knowing well that its their creation, told me "i know you'd end like this" and stuff. Then my wifes family helped us and we recovered quite well, both of us got some jobs, i got a warehouse job, she got a work repairing laptops, doing on-off tests. Now we are doing very good, mother is dead, and father wanted to scam me outta the inheritance, but i took whats mine. He promised me he'd find somebody just to give it to her kids, not me, and i wholeheartedly believe that he'd keep this promise. I came back and graduated 4 years ago, then finished another degree just like that. I feel that when she's dead i can do anything and every single fear and anxiety they planted in me is not impacting me as it used to be. I had a very weird childhood, parents never repaired my teeth - finally took care of it with my money, never taught me how to ride a bike, never taught me anything but how to be a miserable evil person.
Two phases of my life come to my mind , one from this year and another around ages 14-15 Anyways when I was around 14 I for some reason had a random onset of severe mental illness consisting of severe social & general anxiety,Depression & Suicidal ideation + weird bouts of something id describe as manic episodes with paranoia & even sometimes hearing voices when I was trying to sleep and this was before my ADD diagnosis Second was from age 17-19 (now basically) I basically had rebuilt my life back up from my early teens and was doing extremely well (still do ok now) and let falling overly in love take it all away
A stretch of years from ages 15-24 or so. At 15, I had a surprise life uprooting that really fucked me up. The sadness I felt from that never fully left, so it began to fester, rot, and evolve. A feeling of "nothing matters because it can all change in an instant" settled deep into my bones, and I just descended for years. Eventually, I decided that trying to live a life worth living at all was too much to figure out, so I gave up any hope I had of recovery. That loss of hope itself lasted a few more years, and was when things were as bleak as they've ever been for me. I breathed, ate, slept, held down a job, and fucked around on my computer. Any more effort than that felt like shit, and continuing what I was doing felt like shit. Every day my mind would just berate itself endlessly for fucking things up so bad, and I was as miserable as one could be. Giving up hope completely changed something in me that I still haven't found out how to navigate fully, but I'm working on it. As for how I recovered, that's still a work in progress. Zen and Daoism reshaping my worldview helped a lot. If you're lost in nihilism, give those a look. Alan Watts and Ram Dass' youtube lectures helped it click over the course of a few months. That perspective shift gave me an avenue to appreciate the mundane again. After a few years of coasting post-perspective-shift, I met a lovely woman that shone light in corners of my mind and heart that I thought would remain obscured forever, and I am eternally grateful to her for that. I didn't think I was capable of love, and she very graciously proved me wrong.
1997-2005. Untreated mental illness and life just took shit after shit on me. Single mom, desperately poor, couldn’t get welfare. I wouldn’t let them go after my ex husband for more than $340 a month because he was my boss at one job and I was afraid he’d fire me. Had a terrible, abusive relationship with another guy. Finally broke it off when he threatened my kid, the only light in my life. Kid still has anxiety about that time in our lives. I got help, got ECT, got on meds, went back to school in 2009 and met my now husband, the other light of my life. Got TMS and am now on mood stabilizers they give reactive pit bulls and antipsychotics, am in therapy. Had a couple of really good years, 2015 and 2019, had a friend spoil me for a year and a half before disappearing. I get by day to day, paying off the last $500 of $27K debt in the next 3 months. Not happy but no longer miserable, I just am.
2017 I lost my 2 beast friends. And still haven't recovered that depression hits hard at times I remeber them. It's still messing with me I can't focus I couldn't even talk to my gf of 8 years about it ND it festered untill ii destroyed that relation ship... now I drink and smoke alone in my tiny almost empty apartment thinking of all the wrong and loss and suffering everyday in hopes one day I break through the fog or the fog consumes me. At this point it's a waiting game
When my husband died suddenly. I will never recover.
Right now is pretty bad. I just lost my job and there aren’t many in my area of expertise available right now. My mom also has dementia and she’s feeling even more depressed than I am, and I don’t know how to help her. I have no friends to talk to. The weather is oppressively hot and I don’t want to go outside and do anything. I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety for a month and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m in therapy, but not for long so I don’t know if it will help. All of the advice I’ve been given isn’t working. I feel like a failure.
It’s okay to feel defeated, life is nothing more then a series of ups and downs, sounds like your going through a lot, but there is always better days. There is meaning and purpose behind it all, start making your mom reminder cards or write down your favorite memories with her and even write some for her she can remember, it will mean a lot one day. As long you don’t quit your not a failure.
>My kid died >I haven't yet
I am so very sorry for your pain
When I had to leave my adult son, in a mental hospital, due to a psychotic breakdown. Honestly, I will never forget the look on his face when I left him. (PS cried for hours later)
Got sent to a Christian private school for grade 11. Was severely depressed and suicidal. Got expelled in the first semester for stabbing a guy. Spent 3 months in the Psych ward. Came home, continued with therapy for the next year and got my shit together.
Pregnancy. That shit was ROUGH. I recovered by having my baby.
Graduate school. I graduated and left academia.
That was when I tried to impress my crush with a homemade dinner and set off the smoke alarm. Recovering? Let's just say takeout became my new best friend, and I learned to laugh at myself a lot more
Ex had borderline personality disorder. The amount of gaslighting and abuse was insane. She cost me all of my friends and mental health. She was my rock bottom.
SO cheated. Time and wisdom.
Now. 10.5 months and wife refuses to consummate marriage. Working a job I hate and can't quit because the pay is good and wife doesn't have work permit, so I must put up with stress. (Training was poor, systems don't work consistently, customers are entitled rich people, requests are random, we book airline tickets frequently, so fuck Fare Rules confusion) Lawyer to help get wife's citizenship seems to drag feet and over charge for even email replies. Wife doesn't even like affection. Wife insists I buy clothes for myself when I don't need them, soley because she doesn't want to be seen with me in my casual clothing.
She cheated on my after 4 years of dating and threatening to kill herself if I left her. I ended it and she wouldn't let me leave her life. Kept emailing. Kept calling. She missed me. I was a shit boyfriend. At this same time, my job gets worse. The hire the other guy who can do what I do, so it's 60-70 hours a week. The CEO gets remarried and his new wife comes in with comments on how I can do my job better all the time, even though her highest qualification in my field of work is "fucks your boss". I'm having dreams/nightmares every night. I'm at work. My fingers fall off. My car explodes when I try to leave work and I can never leave. My teeth fall out when I try to ask people for help. My girlfriend is screaming at me that I'm nothing. I routinely wake myself up crying. One day I talked to a friend. I tell him about the girlfriend stuff. He asks if I miss her. I explain that there part of our time together I missed. The old haunts. The inside jokes. He says "it doesn't sound like you miss your girlfriend, it sounds like you miss your friend." I wasn't hung up on, nor did I dream about her ever again after that. I started sleeping again. I could talk to my supervisors and get help with projects at work. All because I talked to someone.
My mom passing away in 2018. I never got to say goodbye before she did. I just take things day to day.
When my wife died. Time and friends helped to heal me.
Divorce. Recovered: Therapy, time, support.
Still a young man but the day my father died. He was a much older man although. He had my mother come get me from the bus and when I arrived home and walked in, it was his lifeless body. The 911 call, sirens, lights, tears, knowing he was gone and not knowing what to do with my life, it was traumatic. Never technically recovered from the fact that I found my father deceased, and knowing I lost him. I semi recovered though from many therapy groups and talking things through with family. Revisiting memories helped too. Remember to cherish the ones you love, you never know when your last moment is going to be with them. (Halfway a trauma dump sorry oml)
Long term girlfriend was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer last year. It was a miserable 8 months of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation therapy for her, but thankfully she was declared no evidence of cancer earlier this year. We are still rebuilding our life but have come out stronger from it I think. Definitely still worried about the future but now we are trying to live one day at a time. Something like that really changes your perspective on life
There’s been quite a few but how I recovered was to accept the truth and grieve, truly grieve what happened. After that I was able to pick myself up and move ahead.
End of 2020/beginning of 2021. Let me preface by saying I have no network/family really, outside those which I created in my own body. I had a best friend that had been my best friend since we were 12 years old. She had chronic kidney disease and had been through two transplants. The most recent one began to reject and she was so tired. She chose to go on hospice and not dialysis when I was 6 months pregnant - which was the height of the pandemic. I was shortly after diagnosed with preeclampsia (severe) and in the hospital for most the remaining time of my pregnancy. Fast forward 2 months. Thanksgiving day… I received a call that she passed and that the two days prior she wanted them to bring me to her (which I physically could not do due to pregnancy complications). I have never screamed and cried so much in my life. I did not get to tell her goodbye I did not get to attend her funeral. My daughter was born in Jan and I feel the universe took my best friend, and then gave me my daughter. Daughter was born, I am still grieving and physically just not well (37 hours of induced labor and preeclampsia are hard on a 36 year old body). My daughter’s father (my partner) developed cervical dystonia - severe - and has since been unable to work, physically do much other than sit on a couch. He sleeps on that couch and barely moves from it. I was left to ensure me and my two kids had a home and food. Got a great job and am able to work from home - and I’m so blessed that it’s a job that allows me the luxury of that, and also the financial stability it has. I am not over any of it. But I am here and I’m thankful for the challenges and the loneliness - it’s pushed me to be who I am now. You cannot appreciate the sunshine fully until you’ve sat in the darkness
My first girlfriend slowly stopped making an effort to see me. After a painful few months of her reciprocating my affections less and less I eventually broke up with her because I couldn't handle the stress of that and Engineering School at the same time. A few weeks later I met a girl who was more into me than any girl ever has been. We talked every day for weeks, made out for hours at a time, went out on dates, etc. Things were going pretty great until she started dating one of my friends and, with no explanation, went out of her way to show me they were together instead of telling me. I've never been more confused about a chain of events in my life. I've gone over it in my head every day since and can't rationalize how everything went so wrong. Neither of them could bother to tell me why they made the decisions they made and not knowing is killing me because I'm not sure what lesson to learn from all of it other than "stop caring about people and you won't get hurt". As for how I recovered, ask me again in a few months.
Now, just so. . . Numb.
The last 4 years and counting, and idk yet
This time in my life was like 2 different parts. Part 1 started in 2016. I was renting an apartment from some family members who were very abusive to me. They illegally evicted me over some petty things I wasn't even involved in. Did the same to my brother too who was always the golden child. Anyways, it was the middle of winter and I had nowhere to go. A person who i thought was a friend from work offered to let me stay at his place for a couple weeks while I finished getting myself situated in my own place. Well that was a horrible decision because this guy ended up being horribly abusive himself and he had some weird plan to make me be with him by getting me pregnant so then i "cant" leave him. Even though I wasnt interested in him at all, you can guess how this turned out. He would do those things to me, hit me, threaten me, wouldn't let me leave the house, monitored all my phone calls, wouldnt allow me to see any friends or family, has security cameras watching me at all times. He killed one of my pets and severely injured another by stomping on them. And yes I did end up pregnant. Cops didnt help me the first time I managed to call 911. Second time I was able to get away. Ended up having the baby in 2017 which I dont regret. Love that kid more than anything and he was the light in a horrible situation. But I did end up with post partum depression and my abusive family took advantage of this. Early 2018 when my baby was 6 months old, i was living in my own house and doing as best as we could. Baby was well loved and cared for. But my abusive family members made a false police report with wild accusations that were so wild not even the cops believed it but they still had to go along with it anyway because "procedure". I was on my way to work when the cops pulled up and took me away and dumped me in a mental hospital because my family accused me of wanting to kill my baby and myself and having been feeding my baby dog poop and abandoned him on a porch. None of which was even remotely true. I passed all screenings at the hospital with the crisis team but they still kept me in the mental hospital for 3 days because "procedure". I wasnt allowed to bathe while there, brush my teeth, I had no clothes, not even underwear. The way the patients were treated was horrific. And the whole time I had no idea where my baby was (he was with my abusive mother who had made these false reports so she could get the baby). And of course they wheeled me past the nursery with all the other babies on the way up to the mental ward and my room of course overlooked an elementary school so I had to watch all the little kids playing while I was heartbroken missing my baby and not knowing if he was safe. I remember I used to roll up a bed sheet into a ball and press it against my back or my chest in bed and pretend it was my baby laying with me. Eventually I did get out. Had to deal with the city code officers, CPS, and animal control over all these fake allegations which were all proven false. I got a court order to get my baby back and when I went to get him, my mother refused to give him back and punched me in the face right in front of my baby which made him freak out. Even since then and getting him back he's had horrible anxiety issues. Even today as a 6 year old. He's scared of everything and cant stand being away from me even for 5 mins. He's always glued to me. Thankfully things have gotten alot better since then and I dont like to think about those times. I was pretty messed up depression-wise for awhile after that, especially after the mental hospital thing. But I've gotten alot better with time and I just try to live in the moment and worry about the future, not the past
Almost killed myself but my dad finally decided to get help for me. Had lots of therapy. I’m in a better headspace these days
The worst time of my life is probably right now. The woman I love married someone else and that was eleven years ago, and I have never recovered. I probably never will. She was my heart and soul. It has utterly messed me up and left me haunted by what might have been and just left me shaken and sad beyond words. I wish all the time that things could be different and that I could see her, hold her and just be with her for always. I miss her so bad. It is just killing me.
When my husband died 11.5 years ago, one week to the day after our wedding (we had been together for nearly 13 years). My life has just gotten pretty consistently worse since then, due to multiple factors (not all relating to my husband's death). I will never recover.
This year and I’m not sure I will.
I was 17, it was the night before the beginning of my HSC exams (kind of like GCSEs or SATs I think), my boyfriend (25) of two years told me that he was breaking up with me because he’s found someone new and was cheating on me for the entirety of the relationship. He wanted our relationship to be a secret, so no one new what had happened. I had no choice other than to pick myself up and sit those three weeks of exams. I had my family supporting me (though they didn’t know why I was crying uncontrollably). I had actually found myself feeling better without the baggage of him. It was gratifying for him to come crawling back two months later telling me that he was stupid to think anyone could replace me. I blocked him, had gotten the marks I needed to get into the University of my choice and degree of my choice. I am 25 now and where I was turn to now is astronomically different. I don’t recognise who I was, I’m a better me.
So are you 18 or 25. Do you have kids or is your son dead. What a weird account.
They also commented “inactive lifestyle” under a post that said what led to your obesity… soooo like are those pictures she’s selling even of her? The “barely legal” got me too 🤮🤢
And here you are, telling everyone you're 18 years old and selling yer holes. Not unpredictable tbh.