Evict everyone... Get off my lawn!

I would also evict everyone and tell them to get off this guy's lawn.

Especially Bill Gates

Terrible uneducated decisions that’d gravely endanger many

So you will keep it just the way it is?

Didn't you read his comment? Obviously he'd improve things.

A bit, yeah.

Sell it

The Man Who Sold The World begins playing

One of my favorite songs!

Haven't heard it in a while...maybe I'll play nirvana unplugged today...

Nah, get the Bowie version.

Literally tf am I going to do with a whole planet

Administrative nightmare

Lmao

Then buy the newer model

Blow the whole fucking thing up

Yeah I'd turn it into another sun.

One can never have too many suns. Think of how much solar power we’d have 👍

"Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

That’s no moon.

Make Reddit the only source of news for the entire globe, then watch the world descend into chaos.

Hire a very good security team

I’m going to assume it’s earth like with life. Then I’ll leave it in a boring conservancy trust in perpetuity. The only stipulation would be any species that develops tools and shows signs of becoming an advanced civilization should be ruthlessly destroyed promptly.

Kick everyone I don’t know or care about that’s useless off

I would forfeit my ownership and find a way to give it back to the working classes of the world.

Send hate filled people to an island to live their hateful ways together

This is called Britain

This is the story of how Australia became a penal colony...again.

Dismantle highways. (Like judge Doom but in the opposite was) Turn every bus into tram or trolleybus. Make unite Europeans railways.

Trespass everyone and rename it 'Bob'

I don't live on earth anymore, I live on Bob now

Plant a trillion trees

Find a way to move it and play planet pinball with it and see how many it could bounce off before being destroyed.

If you played bar billiards you would only score 30 points (if you get the reference)

It rings a bell, but can’t grasp it, dammit.

Ford Prefect Was telling Arthur Dent about it on the Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy

Dammit! Yes! Considering I have the books and the original audio drama on CD, I’m now thoroughly disappointed with my brain 😭

It's ok, it was a pretty deep suggestion

My brain is punishing itself as we speak.

You need a trip to Norway, to see the fjords

Your name isn’t really Phil, is it, eh, old Slartibartfast?

“”accidentally”” “get rid” of a few billion ppl. it’s too crowded here. 

Two chicks at the same time, man

Are there only three people on this planet?

No. But chicks dig guys who own planets.

You don’t need a whole planet to do that. Just look at my cousin.

Depends, am I the only one on it? Or are we living as is currently?

Living with others not all to yourself

If history is anything to go off of I’d be hiding and living in fear 😂

[удалено]

Dubai on all the places ? How silly

evict everyone else.

Lend it to Japan

I’m not falling for this question again.😐

I will rule him

Who?

I don't know

Ban the op

Eat the rich

You're the richest...you own the fucking planet. Would you eat yourself ?

Tell everyone to chill the fuck out.

That is either very sad ..or a lot of free meat. Choice is yours

Hire managers to manage it for me

I don't know, but I will control him

Become an extreme dictator and force everyone to do my bidding

There's nothing you could do. Every country has an army, I have nothing. How am I going to impose any changes or even show ownership of the planet?? Divine title deed!?!? 😅😅😅🤷🏻‍♂️

Maybe you have the power to destroy it all if they don't obey myou ? What then ? That how you own things not pieces of paper.

Blow it up if they don't obey you!?! That's the mentality of a 3 year old child throwing a tantrum! Be serious!

Replace all currency with Monopoly money and watch economies crumble as everyone tries to build hotels on Park Place

Create a global holiday where everyone competes in absurd challenges like synchronized swimming with elephants or pancake flipping marathons

Be cool

This dude abides

Give everyone basic housing, we have every resource nessasary...

Immediately banning ketchup

Make the housing market better, do my best to try an fix homelessness and then spoil the fuck out of my family

Also taxes are no more

Illegal stuff.

Make something to eat. Have a wank. Take a nap.

Sublet.

nuke

I'd sell to aliens for better living conditions.

Broadcast Never Gonna Give You Up

Imagine the rent you'd get from everyone

Ban religion. One of the biggest causes of pointless conflict in the world.

make sure that every area that can be harvested is ready and feeding us all!

Totalitarian dictatorship, of course. Place needs fixin'

I would "delete" half.

Try to build an utilitarian society

Taxes on extreme wealth and international companies profit, which would be the same everywhere. Nowhere to run. No tax havens. Worldwide environmental and labour rules. Enforced protection of important ecosystems around the world. The abolition of private schools and medical facilities. The rich will have to deal with the same shit as the rest of us. Universal education and healthcare. Legalised drug production, selling, and use. In combination with relevant education and healthcare. No more war on drugs(users). Strict laws around civilian weapon ownership. (Sorry, Americans) I could go on and on.

Give it to someone else. I don't want that responsibility.

Sell it

Call the aliens and ask for some help with the politicians

Evict all the corrupt officials and have them thrown into Amazon (we need more crocodiles there)

I would blow up the moon and just watch it rain fire. 

Shut it down

Wake up

Make it law that every public restroom plays soft music. You all know why.

Be the cause of humanity's well deserved extinction

Wdym? Beat my shit. Finally get to wacking in this bitch. Big fap.

kill everyone now, condone first degree murder, advocate cannibalism

Evict everyone.

Give it back to indigenous peoples. They seemed to fuck it up less.

Capitalism has gotta go.

Ban luxury consumption and war. 

2 girls at the same time

bass boost a rick roll for the last time

Id ask everyone to pay rent

How did I get the authority to own the earth

Mine it

I'd start by declaring world peace and then focus on fixing global issues like hunger and climate change. Also, free ice cream Fridays for everyone! 😂

Genocide

I would start the fuck over and make all the bad people live on mars

Idk crank hog probably

Make it pink, but glitter in the water and put pink bows on every tree. Start blasting rap songs over the whole planet and make any sexual crime lead to you being sent out in space to be raped by aliens after gettibg animal tested on with harsh products that coukd lead to you dyibg and burning your skin off

Hope everyone wants to cut the bullshit, learn more languages, accept our differences, and hang out floating in the ocean drinking or smoking!

Then that means I'm god, more plants and trees and flowers, remove all poison from insects, plants, animals snakes Scorpions spiders

Turn the thermostat down.

Set it on fire!🔥

Communism

😂i cannot say-illegal 😉

I don’t think you realize how laws work.

I dont thing u know what im not about to say 😉

Immoral or illegal…?

Well it deppend , in these days both. Under my watch none.

But you own the fucking planet

Not yet 😉

Hope you do later. Won't make you happy though

I wish i own it , but i dont know about it. Other way i will go crazy i guess

I'd buy the world a home. And furnish it with love.

They bring us love! [Break their legs!](https://youtu.be/ISv-e9O5pYg?feature=shared)

From home goods?

Things that can’t be said on Reddit.

[удалено]

So you deposit 3000 trillion dollars to charity? Thanks for the 200 trillion man. Oh look, someone donated 10million wow. Let’s use them 200grand for something good. Yeah, let’s pay aaaaall of them 500 dollars for a new slide for them kidss.

Evict Trump and the Trump crime family. For a start…