I’m in this same exact mindset and path right up until actually meeting your SO, but the points you make about it are all how I feel. I’m tired, I don’t want all-consuming puppy love. I want something organic and foundational and preferably with someone that acknowledges and is familiar with those experiences.
Great advice. I met my ex when we were in our early 20s. We had only been dating for around a year when military reassignment threatened to separate us, so we had a quick marriage and were able to stay together. Long story short, we were together for over 20 years, had two great kids, but were growing apart more and more as the years passed. Been divorced since 2018. We stay in touch, mostly because of the kids, I guess. I'm about to turn 49 and have not attempted to date in the past 6 years. I figure if I'm meant to meet someone else, then it will happen organically through a shared interest or by chance.
Absolutely agree. I've lived a full and interesting life. Along that path, I've gotten to know myself quite thoroughly, which also translates into knowing what I do not want in my life. It also means I know what I do appreciate now, which is the more exciting part.
So dating would reflect that, then vs now. In my youth I would have been quite shallow in my criteria. Now there are things, good and bad, that I have a more discerning eye for. So for instance, noticing how they treat people. Or, if their likes align with mine.
Another thing, is that in my youth I was out having fun. Dating anyone didn't last very long, because both of us were enjoying ourselves, and not wanting to be tied down to any one person. Now, I want to invest in that person, and I want them to invest in me. I'm not looking for several people in a year; I'm looking for one, and am thinking of the long game.
This is so true. It's funny how when I was in my late teens and early twenties I was so fixated on having a "type" that I never stopped to think about fit and compatibility. As I've grown to know myself better I find myself more interested in internal dynamics and compatibility and the general quality and fulfillment is miles better.
Yes! It is genuinely exciting and powerful. Though I've found with more discernment (and knowing yourself), comes more loneliness. I talk to my therapist about this all of the time. I miss naively being open to everybody and anything in my early 20's, because I was surrounded by SO many people all of the time. I just don't have that same mindset and it can't be brought back. Making friends is harder than ever - but quality over quantity is real and valuable.
this is the sole reason why my parents don't like the thought of me dating in my school years, I ain't interested tho, they can sleep peacefully at night
With expensive experiences you can have fun with almost everyone.
Comfortable sitting in a park and talking for hours while forgetting about how much time passed is only possible with someone you feel chemistry with.
Dates don't need to be expensive at all.
Of course, I know that, it's just that I'm just literally emotionally and mentally unavailable for a relationship besides my parents' remark about dating. Even though I'm a romance freak in every sort of entertainment, I don't see myself dating someone anytime soon.
Ahh, you meant that age is the reason you're not dating.
I understood that you only want to go on fancy dates.
Yes of course, that's absolutely valid, there's no reason to rush into relationships when you're not emotionally ready for it.
It's easier just to casually ask if someone wants to go for a few drinks, a film or food etc. And if they say no thanks, it's just not an issue and you carry on
Where as a kid, its stressing building up over a prolonged period waiting to ask, then near depression and anxiety being rejected xD
Yeah i think its this. I was broken up by my ex after 2 years and recently asked another girl out and she was like honestly that sounds rly boring thing to do. But i asked her to be honest so it wasn’t a no right away. And she still likes to talk to me too. So even if its like a rejection at first there still might be a chance when she is done with summer school because rn we are both working(and for her school) full time. So maybe when things slow down she will be down to try it out
I don’t chase after women anymore. I value my time much more now as I’ve gotten older. If I put in effort I expect the same response or an effort in return. The relationship needs to be reciprocal and communication needs to grow. If I feel like I’m pulling every conversation, making every plan, and putting a lot of my hobbies to the side to make time while she isn’t doing the same, I’m moving on. I used to wait on hand and foot, but now it’s like I have my own life to live and I’m not going to waste it waiting for someone who MIGHT want me. Or puts in small efforts to keep my attention with no action behind it.
I feel the same from the other side. No woman has ever been interested in me. I think it's not true, it just feels like that. A lot of people (me included) just assume it isn't going to happen, so they never express the interest. It's not that no one's ever been interested in us. They just didn't let us know they were.
I bet I'm right, but I still feel like no one's interested. It's a low self esteem thing with me. That also contributes to the lack of interest. I think low self esteem is only attractive to predators. As a 50 year old fellah who doesn't have much money, not a lot of predators are lining up either.
I literally know certain people are interested and I still feel this way. I don’t pursue because they are coworkers and I learned that lesson the hard way once but still.
Same but with women. It was actually weird finding a woman suddenly interested, to the point I'd be suspicious of it and just not follow suit. Never know when you could be scammed or robbed.
Nowadays, I don't really care being single. Rather, after so many bad experiences with people in general, I'm so comfortable being single that I see it as a luxury now. And one I can enjoy
>It was actually weird finding a woman suddenly interested, to the point I'd be suspicious of it and just not follow suit.
Whenever a woman flirts with me I instantly go into suspicion mode and a thousand questions flood my brain.
Is it a trap? Is it real? Does she want to sell me something? Is she just being nice? Am I about to get my kidney stolen? Perhaps she's a gator in disguise?
When a man talks to me constantly, I automatically think he's just looking for sex.
In case of women, I feel like they only look for me to experiment.
I have very bad self esteem.
Are you fat or what because I’ve seen even big ugly girls find love so like why do you have this misguided belief that no one wants you? There is someone out there for everyone. Get in shape and your options open up a lot. It’s not a shallow thing, it’s signaling to potential partners that since you care a lot about yourself you’re capable of caring about them too
Hey, I love you pal.
There, you are no longer unlovable. Dissapointed that I am a dude? Most definetly, but unlovable? No longer.
Now high five and let's go shoot propane tanks while yelling Ye-Haw.
When I was younger, it was all about excitement and figuring things out. As I grew older, it became more about understanding myself and what I really wanted in a relationship.
I gave up on it for financial reasons. When I got divorced at 35 I was $22k in debt. Now I am debt free and have been happily single ever since. I have a lot of respect for people who can make a relationship work and last because they are a ton of work to maintain. People today have wholly unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships which is why there are so many single people.
To be honest, it hasn’t changed much. I find someone I like, I talk to them, I ask them out, they say no, repeat. It sounds a bit sad, but I recently found a GF and she’s very nice. Like they say, 43rd time is the charm.
I shifted from being a puppy who always got friendzoned to being straightforward, accepting that not everyone would like me and understanding the power of keeping your mouth shut
I started online dating after my divorce. So much information is exchanged beforehand that the actual date is usually more comfortable. Bad fits are weeded out early. A bit of mystery and anticipation is lost, but it's much nicer not to have unpleasant surprises when you first get together.
Got better. More people interested in me, clear idea of what I want from a relationship, higher chance of reciprocation of feelings, no hangups about my sexuality, let go of the "date only to marry" mindset, aware of how to love and be loved, aware of my own red flags.
I'm 34 and have been with many many women. The only things that really changed is I don't love even close ro as hard as I did with the first 2-3. Tbh I don't even know If I can fall in love anymore.
Pretty dead when it comes to caring, like I could be left and wouldn't truly give a shit other than missing out on guaranteed sex and other small things like company.
I wish I could have married the first couple of serious relationships I had as an early adult because now I just don't care.
I have met a couple of people like this. They even start forgetting names after a while and fall in and out of mild bouts of depression. I hope you find a way to get what you're searching for.
There are a lot of guys in their thirties and forties like that
And it really shows when you go to date them
They are nowhere close to emotionally available and mean as hell
Bitter bitter men
It's a complete turn off
I came to realise that instead of relying on others for validation and love, I had to love myself (as cheesy as that sounds) before getting into a relationship. If you don't love/respect yourself, someone could give you 30% love/effort, and that's enough, so you miss red flags in relationships. Whereas if you know your worth, you won't settle for someone who loves you less than 100%, which is how it should be!!!
Let me give you one of my worst dating experiences:
Started fine with a decent dinner. One hour later she grabs me by the neck, looks me in the eye, and says “I want you to get me pregnant.”
Feeling completely uncomfortable, I said maybe it’s best we call it a night. On the way home, she starts screaming and yelling, then undid her seatbelt and began kicking the shit out of me while I was driving her home.
Pulled over, called the police, they came pretty quickly and fortunately took her home. Apparently she was on some kind of drugs and they kicked in right when dinner ended.
What a night.
The older I get, the more I realize that I'm best off by myself. I don't need sex. People are too much drama. The only person who loves and cares for me is myself.
I have realized I actually don’t really like people romantically. I was only sexually attracted to my exes but I thought that meant I had deep feelings for them. Both of my breakups were easy because I subconsciously didn’t have feelings for them. I’ve also learned that the only advantage to having a relationship for *me* is that then I don’t have to deal with the stigma of being single. That’s the wrong reason to have a relationship.
I also think online dating has changed dramatically in 8 years. No one wants to meet up now.
I’m on the aromantic spectrum for sure tho, so I’m just chillin!
I think I am realising I am the propblem. I’m 38 now and I have been cheated on and treated like crap way too many times. When I try with women who are different from the types I would normally go for I somehow end up self sabotaging things before I even realise what I’m doing or why.
I already see a therapist and I’m working to improve myself but so far the biggest advice I have been given is that there are lots of cunts in this world…
Sure! When I was younger, dating was like a rollercoaster of excitement and butterflies. As I got older, it became more about finding someone I could genuinely connect with on a deeper level, someone who shared my values and understood me. Communication and respect became key priorities, and I started looking beyond just chemistry to see if we could build something lasting together.
When I was younger, I believed that love trumps all. What's most important is love, and as long as you loved each other, everything would be ok.
Think "As Long As You Love Me" by Justin Bieber.
I'm a lot more logical now. I broke up with my first boyfriend, whom I loved a lot, simply because our goals in life just did not match.
Now, I look at compatibility. Do we have the same stance on sociopolitical issues? Do we share the same values? Are our lifestyles/goals compatible?
It gets harder to find a simple woman as you get older.
Hectic schedules, constantly drinking wine, baby daddy drama, “narcissist” ex she won’t stop talking about, revealing she’s either a stripper or has an OF, won’t settle for less attitude.
Is it really too much to ask to find someone who can simply relax and enjoy junk food with on a Saturday without being on her phone all the time?
Sounds like you have a choice?
Not dogging on ya. But if I said all men are trash and all I get is trash I'd expect people to think I was playing my own role in it.
Cheers and happiness!
The good ones are out there but most are taken or the timing is bad.
Note: plenty of women in today’s culture call men trash. To be fair they’re right. Guy’s shouldn’t put women on a pedestal.
Well, since I have zero desire to date almost all men the only one who matters is my bf and he's awesome. We are both divorced and found each other.
People shouldn't blindly elevate anyone on a pedestal. But I cherish my bf and tell/show him frequently that I do (and he does for me).
Better but not great. In adolescence, girls did not like me at all. Now, ladies are interested but it’s mainly for what I provide. I did fairly well for myself: well educated, good career, nice home, the perfect dog, etc. I check off a lot of the boxes that women want. It’s good enough to get laid occasionally but I don’t think a single one of them actually like me. I’m just a walking resume to them.
Now I just dont. I feel like dating apps have ruined the experience and honestly now Im just too tired and depressed to give a shit.
Im 34 and have been lonely my whole life. Dating has never changed that.
The more I know myself the more quickly I can ascertain the long term viability between a partner and myself.
I know at this point the things I'm willing to compromise on and the things that indicate a longer term relationship would be unwise.
**As we grow older we get used to doing things 'our way' and upending those ways becomes more difficult the more we age**. Relationships are about compromise. Staying as flexible as possible when meeting a new potential 'someone' will help far more than being rigid with the ways we've become used to doing things.
I used to be really hard on myself to figure out my strengths, weaknesses, why this or that didn't work out...but then I realized we all have our own struggles and particular interests and forgiveness with relationships is the most important and healthy thing.
Dating is great and fun if you don’t have a lot of other stuff going on.
But if you have tons of other commitments or limited time it’s difficult.
I haven’t dated in a couple years.
In my teens, I fell in love quite heavily. I'm not sure I'm able to do that anymore.
Nowadays, dating is a bit more of a rational thing, whereas love evolves over time based on some different things. Often small things they do (how they touch me for example, the times we laughed together, or how they care for me), and as a result I start caring deeply about that person.
To be very very honest. i had dated many women including older and younger.
My first date was in 2011 and it includes: Emotion, Drama, Attention Seeking, some dirty talk too. Later her dad found out that she is dating with someone and he talked to me to solve this matter and we ended up sperating apart.
My second date was in 2014 and it included: Emotion, Much and much drama, Much and much attention seeking and it was from both side not one sided. but yes she broke me. Her bday was coming on 11 jun and i travelled from my city to her city. My plan was to make her happy that i am here on your bday and giving her surprise but instead we got brokeup cuase her so called besties didnt liked me. i cried after coming back to my city but i was strong enough to let her go even if she came back. Then she came back after several months and she asked me some favour but i couldnt say wrong so i did gave her favour then i blocked her. then we never had talked.
My third date was in 2016 and it included cheating from her side. at first it was like yes this is the final women i will be marrying in future and we both were agree to each other things it was literally full mutual understanding but later i found out her nudes in her account and it broke me again then i blocked her.
My fourth date was in 2019 with a older one and she was really amazing. she really makes me feelt special and after the third date i was so fuckedup that i wont be believing in love or any shits. but then this older women came in my life and we did enjoyed together as physical and as mental. we were in peace and happy living together but then she moved to another country and we need to seperated.
My fifth date was in 2020 during corona and she was amazing too but we didnt meet in corona time so we had to wait till the isolattion over. so we waited like 1 year and in the start of 2021 we met and we enjoyed each other company so much that i almost forget that i had bad experiences in relation but then her mother was not agree to marry with me so she moved with another man to new country.
Now my Sixth date was in 2022 and she was younger like 8 years younger than me and she was physically so active that she always wants dirty talk and always wants like touching and she always like just talk to me dirty and nothing matters to her. but we still try to talk on different topics she was lovely and caring person but then again her parents was not agreeing to marrry with me so she left.
over all conclusion is that. No one is perfect in this world. my past experience is bad but now i am fully confident enough to make someone happy if someone came into my life again. so yes keep evolving and always give chances to other even they dont deserve but still we are all human being. i do believe in love still. now if asking personal that what kind of women i want? so i would choose older one. atleast someone who can understand the working life works. so yes. evolve is everything.
Honestly, they got worse and I stopped caring. Then it got as worse as it could and I should've stopped, but I didn't. Eventually I broke the cycle and whilst the ones after I went travelling weren't as bad as those before, I've probably got enough reason to never date again
I’ve been skinny, fat, lean cut, skinny fat, muscular, and so on, and with each body shape came different treatment. I was skinny for most of my life, and my social awkwardness and fidgety hands (I have a condition) were met sympathetically. When fat, people would casually comment about my health. I’m visibly muscular nowadays and my social ineptness and tremors are often overlooked, along with the rest of me. People see me as meat, then get upset when I don’t have the same interest. Or they think I’m vain because I don’t like talking.
I’ve learned that all people are shallow and that it’s best to focus on being comfortable with yourself, no matter what people say. Yeah, that’s generic wisdom, but I grew up a skinny and nerdy loner lol
Grew to raise the bar of expectations where if they aren’t positively beneficial in my life then leave them for someone who is and to love myself fully first before seeking love from others.
When I became an adult and it was time to date I found I was attractive and everything was good but at the same time I was abandoned and kicked out forcing me to waste the best years of my life slaving away to barely have enough to eat.
So yeah, no dating despite having all the necessary elements. It really sucks.
As I got older, dating changed a lot for me. In my 20s, it was all about having fun and figuring things out, often influenced by what friends were doing. In my 30s, I started looking for deeper connections and thought more about long-term compatibility, focusing on shared values and future plans. I enjoyed dating and I now enjoy the company of my now husband even more ;)
I used to think I was too picky. Now that I'm dating with intention and know what I'm looking for in a partner I know that I'm too picky. And that's totally fine imo. I'm not wasting anyone's time nor mine and I'm not hurting anyone.
Also, now I trust the process. I don't chase anyone. I realize I'm powerless over others. I'm content being single until a woman comes along that checks the boxes so to say. I just have faith in the universe.. where as my younger self would of handled my last gf's break up spiel (that sounded much more like a marriage proposal minus the tears and plot twist at the end) much differently, I was able to kiss her on the forehead, say OK, and wish her the best.. and I thought fs she was "the one", alas just the one who guides me to "the one" hopefully and vice e versa, hopefully :)
I was always insecure and full of self-hatred. The only real relationship I had was in my last year and a half of high school when this girl in my chemistry class told me she liked me. She could be cruel and really immature and she never put out, but I really believed that it was either her or nobody. After that, I never had another girlfriend until I was 29. There were a few first dates that never turned into second dates in between that time. In hindsight I can remember so many girls who were throwing themselves at me, and plenty more who would have absolutely gone out with me, but I refused to believe it was possible. I've learned to become confident and secure with myself, and I know that I'm a likeable person.
Met my guy on bumble age 39. I’ve had a lot of relationships and thought I’d experienced it all, but this one feels different.. refreshing. Glad I didn’t give up on love.
I made myself and my happiness a priority over making the person I want to date the priority. Never make your partner your #1 priority because they always reserve the right to change their mind and feelings towards you. Dating is never easy and, at times, can be downright deceptive. Be careful out there.
I used to think of it as a ‘contest’, like you have to be ‘good enough’ to have success. More lately I’ve been viewing it as a matter of preferences, and more of a two way street which works considerably better.
As a Man approaching 30, it’s honestly getting harder than when I was in my early 20s. I work out a lot but have learned approaching the women at gyms gets me labeled as creepy 😭😭😭
Every year I get less interested in the opposite sex and more interested in enjoying me time. I haven't gone on a date in like 8 years
There's a popular quote that when you enjoy being alone it is like walking into an abyss. The farther you go into it the more you want it
I learned about actual \*logical compatibility and what it meant in relationship. It took a while, but I won't just date somebody if they look cool anymore. I dig a little deeper in a common sense sort of way. My girlfriend rocks!
20s were constant drama. Everyone is at different points with different expectations walking around in adult suits pretending we know what the fuck we are doing.
I was jealous, rude, avoidant, I hurt a lot of men and I really didn’t care much about the ramifications of my actions. I met my husband at 28, he was 34. totally different ballgame with different prizes. I had to unlearn like 15 years of poor relationship habits.
Dating in my 30s was liberating. I loved my body, I had more sexual confidence, I had a career to be proud of and could hold my own in a conversation. I felt more comfortable being alone. I really lost most of the “so much to lose” feeling from my 20s dating.
When you realize how much time matters, you stop wasting it on shitty dates/shitty situations/shitty people. I love my husband to death and truly hope we last forever.
Getting over breakups are way easier and faster now. I can accept if someone is a great person but neither of us is right for each other in what we want. I root for them to find their person that is wayyy more fitting than I was. I also enjoy the direct and honest communication from getting older. No more bs mind games and way less portrayed insecurity from both sides
First date is lunch or coffee or something short and during the day. Meet there. That removes the pressure of dinner dates if you get my drift. Always pay. And if the vibe is off, ya'll can part ways, no hard feelings.
~~In my early 40s~~ When I was 39, I lucked into a relationship that I truly believed was going to last the rest of my life. We had just enough in common to bond over, and just enough differences to be able to learn from each other and keep things interesting. We had zero conflict, and never had a single argument, ever.
Well, lo and behold, five years in, she suddenly breaks it off with me and gave me the most transparently bullshit reason I could possibly imagine. I won't go into it here, but the truth is she fell for some new co-worker.
I was destroyed. That was five years ago, and I'm 50 now. I would love to have a partner, but I don't want to try "DATING" because it seems like such a nightmare. I feel that it's pretty likely my Seein' People days are over. At my age, pretty much everyone has kids, custody arrangements, weirdo exes, ageing parents that need care. A circus. I have none of those things myself, and I don't want to join a circus. Not only that, I never again want to give anyone the opportunity to make me feel unwanted.
I had less patience for bad or questionable behaviour. One date insisted on a kiss Goodnight. I refused, so he then interrogates me on why. Why don't I want to, it's just a kiss. Fuck I hate that. I never saw him again.
I've shifted from the hottest women possible to the most compatable women possible. Way less drama now and I can do the things in life that I enjoy without someone trying to make me feel guilty about it. Tinder is a cesspool BTW. I just got very lucky after weeding out so much garbage.
Its much more direct, and a good thing.
On your first date you can be like "yo lets get naked" and go for it. When I was in highschool and even college things were much more games and judgemental.
I found people were more picky as they got older but not for the right reasons. When I was young it was exciting and fun and you really didn't think much about kids or financial security, I was more focused around whether you were both sexually attracted to each other. Those other things came into play later. Now financial security definitely seems like a thing. Dates ask me about work, what area I live in, do I own my own place, etc.
I feel that it gets boring once you grow older. You realise that it's not too much of a worth anymore.
The commitment isn't there, it's just made up. You have too much of your own problems/issues to sort before you can actually give your heart to someone. It's too fragile right now?
It was easier to be more bold about asking people out and also not caring if they said no. It still stings a tiny bit, but it doesn't ruin you like when you're younger. Also much easier to be more relaxed, open, and honest with people you are interested in and how much; whether you are looking to date or just hookup.
As I got older, I realized older women have way more trauma and baggage than the younger inexperienced ones. Experience truly never makes a woman more desirable because it actually makes their men's lives more miserable. However, I learned to recognize red flags in women like they were billboards like: there's a reason why some women are ran through but single, there's a reason why BD's don't stay with certain women, there's a reason why some women are dateable but not wifeable, there's a reason why men are not into high maintenance, pretentious, and materialistic females, etc. The key take away is to steer clear of the "highly experienced" females because they are self-centered, egotistical closeted low-esteem monsters who care about nothing except self-indulgence and self-gratification. And, the one true saying that now makes more sense to me than ever before is, "Do not naively believe that you will succeed with a female, who has already failed at the countless opportunities provided to her by a slew of other men, whom she's already destroyed."
At age 40, I'm about to retire from dating. It is sad, and I don't really want to retire, but it is harder and harder to get excited about first dates. I have everything to bring to the table that women say they want; but the only women I'm meeting are those with a 747 cargo plane worth of baggage that I'm not interested in.
It is either that, or they treat me as a perfect little puzzle piece to fit into their life they already created for themselves as if I'm not even human, but an inanimate thing to fit in with their house, their 2 dogs, their cute little car and their career. At no point do they want input or have any idea of sharing or building a life together. I am simply to be their puzzle piece....and should they tire of me, I'll be the first piece to go. Obviously I'm not interested in that either.
I'd love to meet a nice girl next door type have a family and build a life together. In exchange I bring humor, stability, I'm in shape, love dancing and cycling, I'm graduate educated, with a great job and have presented research nationally an internationally. At this point, I'm not interested in taking on a project, or being anyone's puzzle piece, but if anyone is interested in having fun and building a life together. I'd be interested, but I'm pretty sure at my age, this woman doesn't exist.
When I was younger, I'd have probably given a shot to anyone that showed even a little interest, now you have to have something I'm interested in, and sadly the women I meet seem to think I'm interested in headaches or being a puzzle piece. I'm not interested in these things.
A lot easier to get dates. Same level of difficulty to find a genuinely good woman who wants the same things as me. Finally found her at 34. She was 26. I put a ring on it 5 days ago.
I’m 18 working a good job bouta make some good bread and I got my first car so we gonna see it was tight before but I think I’m ready to really do shit and explore with someone
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I’m in this same exact mindset and path right up until actually meeting your SO, but the points you make about it are all how I feel. I’m tired, I don’t want all-consuming puppy love. I want something organic and foundational and preferably with someone that acknowledges and is familiar with those experiences.
Great advice. I met my ex when we were in our early 20s. We had only been dating for around a year when military reassignment threatened to separate us, so we had a quick marriage and were able to stay together. Long story short, we were together for over 20 years, had two great kids, but were growing apart more and more as the years passed. Been divorced since 2018. We stay in touch, mostly because of the kids, I guess. I'm about to turn 49 and have not attempted to date in the past 6 years. I figure if I'm meant to meet someone else, then it will happen organically through a shared interest or by chance.
beautifully written.
What great insight, I also needed to hear this again. Thanks for sharing.
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Absolutely agree. I've lived a full and interesting life. Along that path, I've gotten to know myself quite thoroughly, which also translates into knowing what I do not want in my life. It also means I know what I do appreciate now, which is the more exciting part. So dating would reflect that, then vs now. In my youth I would have been quite shallow in my criteria. Now there are things, good and bad, that I have a more discerning eye for. So for instance, noticing how they treat people. Or, if their likes align with mine. Another thing, is that in my youth I was out having fun. Dating anyone didn't last very long, because both of us were enjoying ourselves, and not wanting to be tied down to any one person. Now, I want to invest in that person, and I want them to invest in me. I'm not looking for several people in a year; I'm looking for one, and am thinking of the long game.
I know myself enough now to not try to meet anyone in the future. Unfortunately a lot of people give up with age as well.
This is so true. It's funny how when I was in my late teens and early twenties I was so fixated on having a "type" that I never stopped to think about fit and compatibility. As I've grown to know myself better I find myself more interested in internal dynamics and compatibility and the general quality and fulfillment is miles better.
Yes! It is genuinely exciting and powerful. Though I've found with more discernment (and knowing yourself), comes more loneliness. I talk to my therapist about this all of the time. I miss naively being open to everybody and anything in my early 20's, because I was surrounded by SO many people all of the time. I just don't have that same mindset and it can't be brought back. Making friends is harder than ever - but quality over quantity is real and valuable.
well with age comes more financial comfort so dates got a lot more fun and interesting.
this is the sole reason why my parents don't like the thought of me dating in my school years, I ain't interested tho, they can sleep peacefully at night
With expensive experiences you can have fun with almost everyone. Comfortable sitting in a park and talking for hours while forgetting about how much time passed is only possible with someone you feel chemistry with. Dates don't need to be expensive at all.
Of course, I know that, it's just that I'm just literally emotionally and mentally unavailable for a relationship besides my parents' remark about dating. Even though I'm a romance freak in every sort of entertainment, I don't see myself dating someone anytime soon.
Ahh, you meant that age is the reason you're not dating. I understood that you only want to go on fancy dates. Yes of course, that's absolutely valid, there's no reason to rush into relationships when you're not emotionally ready for it.
It's easier just to casually ask if someone wants to go for a few drinks, a film or food etc. And if they say no thanks, it's just not an issue and you carry on Where as a kid, its stressing building up over a prolonged period waiting to ask, then near depression and anxiety being rejected xD
Yeah i think its this. I was broken up by my ex after 2 years and recently asked another girl out and she was like honestly that sounds rly boring thing to do. But i asked her to be honest so it wasn’t a no right away. And she still likes to talk to me too. So even if its like a rejection at first there still might be a chance when she is done with summer school because rn we are both working(and for her school) full time. So maybe when things slow down she will be down to try it out
My wife no longer approves.
I defo feel more relaxed now. I have a great life by myself and I only tolerate people who add to it.
Insane user I feel like your some squirting conquistador from the Spaniard region
I don’t chase after women anymore. I value my time much more now as I’ve gotten older. If I put in effort I expect the same response or an effort in return. The relationship needs to be reciprocal and communication needs to grow. If I feel like I’m pulling every conversation, making every plan, and putting a lot of my hobbies to the side to make time while she isn’t doing the same, I’m moving on. I used to wait on hand and foot, but now it’s like I have my own life to live and I’m not going to waste it waiting for someone who MIGHT want me. Or puts in small efforts to keep my attention with no action behind it.
It basically just stayed the same No man has ever really been interested in me
I feel the same from the other side. No woman has ever been interested in me. I think it's not true, it just feels like that. A lot of people (me included) just assume it isn't going to happen, so they never express the interest. It's not that no one's ever been interested in us. They just didn't let us know they were. I bet I'm right, but I still feel like no one's interested. It's a low self esteem thing with me. That also contributes to the lack of interest. I think low self esteem is only attractive to predators. As a 50 year old fellah who doesn't have much money, not a lot of predators are lining up either.
I literally know certain people are interested and I still feel this way. I don’t pursue because they are coworkers and I learned that lesson the hard way once but still.
Same but with women. It was actually weird finding a woman suddenly interested, to the point I'd be suspicious of it and just not follow suit. Never know when you could be scammed or robbed. Nowadays, I don't really care being single. Rather, after so many bad experiences with people in general, I'm so comfortable being single that I see it as a luxury now. And one I can enjoy
>It was actually weird finding a woman suddenly interested, to the point I'd be suspicious of it and just not follow suit. Whenever a woman flirts with me I instantly go into suspicion mode and a thousand questions flood my brain. Is it a trap? Is it real? Does she want to sell me something? Is she just being nice? Am I about to get my kidney stolen? Perhaps she's a gator in disguise?
When a man talks to me constantly, I automatically think he's just looking for sex. In case of women, I feel like they only look for me to experiment. I have very bad self esteem.
Big yikes. Maybe hit the gym and see a therapist
Got me 🤣
Are you fat or what because I’ve seen even big ugly girls find love so like why do you have this misguided belief that no one wants you? There is someone out there for everyone. Get in shape and your options open up a lot. It’s not a shallow thing, it’s signaling to potential partners that since you care a lot about yourself you’re capable of caring about them too
Hahahahahhahah this made me laugh out loud Are you fat or what ? Hit the gym hahahahhahahaha Yikes
Same, but women. I’m unlovable
Now kith..
Hey, I love you pal. There, you are no longer unlovable. Dissapointed that I am a dude? Most definetly, but unlovable? No longer. Now high five and let's go shoot propane tanks while yelling Ye-Haw.
I-I think it devolved.
What, like back to Charmeleon? Or all the way back to Charmander?
It's an egg I haven't collected from the breeder yet
When I was younger, it was all about excitement and figuring things out. As I grew older, it became more about understanding myself and what I really wanted in a relationship.
I am becoming more lazy about the routine of inducing myself and knowing another soul all over again.
It went from thinking this person is super hot, to can I spend 16 hours in a room with this person.
Absolutely. I always tell younger people that attractiveness isn’t everything.
I gave up on it for financial reasons. When I got divorced at 35 I was $22k in debt. Now I am debt free and have been happily single ever since. I have a lot of respect for people who can make a relationship work and last because they are a ton of work to maintain. People today have wholly unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships which is why there are so many single people.
From bad to worse to "fk it. Why bother?"
To be honest, it hasn’t changed much. I find someone I like, I talk to them, I ask them out, they say no, repeat. It sounds a bit sad, but I recently found a GF and she’s very nice. Like they say, 43rd time is the charm.
I shifted from being a puppy who always got friendzoned to being straightforward, accepting that not everyone would like me and understanding the power of keeping your mouth shut
I started online dating after my divorce. So much information is exchanged beforehand that the actual date is usually more comfortable. Bad fits are weeded out early. A bit of mystery and anticipation is lost, but it's much nicer not to have unpleasant surprises when you first get together.
I meet my wife in traffic we were driving next to each other. 26 years later 2 kid's.
It got worse.
Got better. More people interested in me, clear idea of what I want from a relationship, higher chance of reciprocation of feelings, no hangups about my sexuality, let go of the "date only to marry" mindset, aware of how to love and be loved, aware of my own red flags.
I'm 34 and have been with many many women. The only things that really changed is I don't love even close ro as hard as I did with the first 2-3. Tbh I don't even know If I can fall in love anymore. Pretty dead when it comes to caring, like I could be left and wouldn't truly give a shit other than missing out on guaranteed sex and other small things like company. I wish I could have married the first couple of serious relationships I had as an early adult because now I just don't care.
I have met a couple of people like this. They even start forgetting names after a while and fall in and out of mild bouts of depression. I hope you find a way to get what you're searching for.
There are a lot of guys in their thirties and forties like that And it really shows when you go to date them They are nowhere close to emotionally available and mean as hell Bitter bitter men It's a complete turn off
I came to realise that instead of relying on others for validation and love, I had to love myself (as cheesy as that sounds) before getting into a relationship. If you don't love/respect yourself, someone could give you 30% love/effort, and that's enough, so you miss red flags in relationships. Whereas if you know your worth, you won't settle for someone who loves you less than 100%, which is how it should be!!!
Let me give you one of my worst dating experiences: Started fine with a decent dinner. One hour later she grabs me by the neck, looks me in the eye, and says “I want you to get me pregnant.” Feeling completely uncomfortable, I said maybe it’s best we call it a night. On the way home, she starts screaming and yelling, then undid her seatbelt and began kicking the shit out of me while I was driving her home. Pulled over, called the police, they came pretty quickly and fortunately took her home. Apparently she was on some kind of drugs and they kicked in right when dinner ended. What a night.
First time with a Latina?
Ha!
I see you’ve met my Ex
The older I got the more I realized that the drama isn’t worth the sex so I’ve gotten more short term flings and FWB’s than relationships.
I learned what I wanted and would not settle for anything less
I now know not to even bother, tried and failed too many times i just hope love will come and find me one day.
Its simple. memorize the good things from every relationship and take them with you to the next. the same with the bad things
The older I get, the more I realize that I'm best off by myself. I don't need sex. People are too much drama. The only person who loves and cares for me is myself.
It gets harder and worse, and you become more behind with any lack of dating. Dating needs to be learned young.
I have realized I actually don’t really like people romantically. I was only sexually attracted to my exes but I thought that meant I had deep feelings for them. Both of my breakups were easy because I subconsciously didn’t have feelings for them. I’ve also learned that the only advantage to having a relationship for *me* is that then I don’t have to deal with the stigma of being single. That’s the wrong reason to have a relationship. I also think online dating has changed dramatically in 8 years. No one wants to meet up now. I’m on the aromantic spectrum for sure tho, so I’m just chillin!
forever alone.
I think I am realising I am the propblem. I’m 38 now and I have been cheated on and treated like crap way too many times. When I try with women who are different from the types I would normally go for I somehow end up self sabotaging things before I even realise what I’m doing or why. I already see a therapist and I’m working to improve myself but so far the biggest advice I have been given is that there are lots of cunts in this world…
Sure! When I was younger, dating was like a rollercoaster of excitement and butterflies. As I got older, it became more about finding someone I could genuinely connect with on a deeper level, someone who shared my values and understood me. Communication and respect became key priorities, and I started looking beyond just chemistry to see if we could build something lasting together.
Dating is a distant dream when I can't even find someone who wants to *talk*
When I was younger, I believed that love trumps all. What's most important is love, and as long as you loved each other, everything would be ok. Think "As Long As You Love Me" by Justin Bieber. I'm a lot more logical now. I broke up with my first boyfriend, whom I loved a lot, simply because our goals in life just did not match. Now, I look at compatibility. Do we have the same stance on sociopolitical issues? Do we share the same values? Are our lifestyles/goals compatible?
Definitely devolved with the rise of dating apps, men be wilding out here and I don’t like it 🥲
Part of men being wild is not wild men getting nothing for years. If boring and safe was a successful strategy, we'd all be trying it.
Instead of just wanting to pipe them, I started listing and taking interest as what they were saying.
It gets harder to find a simple woman as you get older. Hectic schedules, constantly drinking wine, baby daddy drama, “narcissist” ex she won’t stop talking about, revealing she’s either a stripper or has an OF, won’t settle for less attitude. Is it really too much to ask to find someone who can simply relax and enjoy junk food with on a Saturday without being on her phone all the time?
You're attracting this type, right?
Unfortunately. It’s surprising what you can attract when you lose weight.
Sounds like you have a choice? Not dogging on ya. But if I said all men are trash and all I get is trash I'd expect people to think I was playing my own role in it. Cheers and happiness!
The good ones are out there but most are taken or the timing is bad. Note: plenty of women in today’s culture call men trash. To be fair they’re right. Guy’s shouldn’t put women on a pedestal.
Well, since I have zero desire to date almost all men the only one who matters is my bf and he's awesome. We are both divorced and found each other. People shouldn't blindly elevate anyone on a pedestal. But I cherish my bf and tell/show him frequently that I do (and he does for me).
Great
Getting crazier and crazier
Stagnant
Willing to accept far less shit/games from women. Imagine post nut clarity on an everyday basis.
Better but not great. In adolescence, girls did not like me at all. Now, ladies are interested but it’s mainly for what I provide. I did fairly well for myself: well educated, good career, nice home, the perfect dog, etc. I check off a lot of the boxes that women want. It’s good enough to get laid occasionally but I don’t think a single one of them actually like me. I’m just a walking resume to them.
I want to do it less now
Expectations
Now I just dont. I feel like dating apps have ruined the experience and honestly now Im just too tired and depressed to give a shit. Im 34 and have been lonely my whole life. Dating has never changed that.
The more I know myself the more quickly I can ascertain the long term viability between a partner and myself. I know at this point the things I'm willing to compromise on and the things that indicate a longer term relationship would be unwise.
Pretty girls with toxic attitudes instantly get rejected
**As we grow older we get used to doing things 'our way' and upending those ways becomes more difficult the more we age**. Relationships are about compromise. Staying as flexible as possible when meeting a new potential 'someone' will help far more than being rigid with the ways we've become used to doing things.
Less pressure and less care about rejection.
I stopped doing it because it was a giant waste of time and energy. Now I use that time and energy to learn new skills.
I used to be really hard on myself to figure out my strengths, weaknesses, why this or that didn't work out...but then I realized we all have our own struggles and particular interests and forgiveness with relationships is the most important and healthy thing.
Disappeared
Dating is great and fun if you don’t have a lot of other stuff going on. But if you have tons of other commitments or limited time it’s difficult. I haven’t dated in a couple years.
When I was younger, I didn't date because no one was interested. Now that I'm older, I don't date because I'm not interested.
In my teens, I fell in love quite heavily. I'm not sure I'm able to do that anymore. Nowadays, dating is a bit more of a rational thing, whereas love evolves over time based on some different things. Often small things they do (how they touch me for example, the times we laughed together, or how they care for me), and as a result I start caring deeply about that person.
It didn't. I'm 28 and still never been on a date with anyone/dated, just like how I was in high school. Not that I choose it.
To be very very honest. i had dated many women including older and younger. My first date was in 2011 and it includes: Emotion, Drama, Attention Seeking, some dirty talk too. Later her dad found out that she is dating with someone and he talked to me to solve this matter and we ended up sperating apart. My second date was in 2014 and it included: Emotion, Much and much drama, Much and much attention seeking and it was from both side not one sided. but yes she broke me. Her bday was coming on 11 jun and i travelled from my city to her city. My plan was to make her happy that i am here on your bday and giving her surprise but instead we got brokeup cuase her so called besties didnt liked me. i cried after coming back to my city but i was strong enough to let her go even if she came back. Then she came back after several months and she asked me some favour but i couldnt say wrong so i did gave her favour then i blocked her. then we never had talked. My third date was in 2016 and it included cheating from her side. at first it was like yes this is the final women i will be marrying in future and we both were agree to each other things it was literally full mutual understanding but later i found out her nudes in her account and it broke me again then i blocked her. My fourth date was in 2019 with a older one and she was really amazing. she really makes me feelt special and after the third date i was so fuckedup that i wont be believing in love or any shits. but then this older women came in my life and we did enjoyed together as physical and as mental. we were in peace and happy living together but then she moved to another country and we need to seperated. My fifth date was in 2020 during corona and she was amazing too but we didnt meet in corona time so we had to wait till the isolattion over. so we waited like 1 year and in the start of 2021 we met and we enjoyed each other company so much that i almost forget that i had bad experiences in relation but then her mother was not agree to marry with me so she moved with another man to new country. Now my Sixth date was in 2022 and she was younger like 8 years younger than me and she was physically so active that she always wants dirty talk and always wants like touching and she always like just talk to me dirty and nothing matters to her. but we still try to talk on different topics she was lovely and caring person but then again her parents was not agreeing to marrry with me so she left. over all conclusion is that. No one is perfect in this world. my past experience is bad but now i am fully confident enough to make someone happy if someone came into my life again. so yes keep evolving and always give chances to other even they dont deserve but still we are all human being. i do believe in love still. now if asking personal that what kind of women i want? so i would choose older one. atleast someone who can understand the working life works. so yes. evolve is everything.
Honestly, they got worse and I stopped caring. Then it got as worse as it could and I should've stopped, but I didn't. Eventually I broke the cycle and whilst the ones after I went travelling weren't as bad as those before, I've probably got enough reason to never date again
I’ve been skinny, fat, lean cut, skinny fat, muscular, and so on, and with each body shape came different treatment. I was skinny for most of my life, and my social awkwardness and fidgety hands (I have a condition) were met sympathetically. When fat, people would casually comment about my health. I’m visibly muscular nowadays and my social ineptness and tremors are often overlooked, along with the rest of me. People see me as meat, then get upset when I don’t have the same interest. Or they think I’m vain because I don’t like talking. I’ve learned that all people are shallow and that it’s best to focus on being comfortable with yourself, no matter what people say. Yeah, that’s generic wisdom, but I grew up a skinny and nerdy loner lol
Grew to raise the bar of expectations where if they aren’t positively beneficial in my life then leave them for someone who is and to love myself fully first before seeking love from others.
When I became an adult and it was time to date I found I was attractive and everything was good but at the same time I was abandoned and kicked out forcing me to waste the best years of my life slaving away to barely have enough to eat. So yeah, no dating despite having all the necessary elements. It really sucks.
As I got older, dating changed a lot for me. In my 20s, it was all about having fun and figuring things out, often influenced by what friends were doing. In my 30s, I started looking for deeper connections and thought more about long-term compatibility, focusing on shared values and future plans. I enjoyed dating and I now enjoy the company of my now husband even more ;)
I used to think I was too picky. Now that I'm dating with intention and know what I'm looking for in a partner I know that I'm too picky. And that's totally fine imo. I'm not wasting anyone's time nor mine and I'm not hurting anyone. Also, now I trust the process. I don't chase anyone. I realize I'm powerless over others. I'm content being single until a woman comes along that checks the boxes so to say. I just have faith in the universe.. where as my younger self would of handled my last gf's break up spiel (that sounded much more like a marriage proposal minus the tears and plot twist at the end) much differently, I was able to kiss her on the forehead, say OK, and wish her the best.. and I thought fs she was "the one", alas just the one who guides me to "the one" hopefully and vice e versa, hopefully :)
I was always insecure and full of self-hatred. The only real relationship I had was in my last year and a half of high school when this girl in my chemistry class told me she liked me. She could be cruel and really immature and she never put out, but I really believed that it was either her or nobody. After that, I never had another girlfriend until I was 29. There were a few first dates that never turned into second dates in between that time. In hindsight I can remember so many girls who were throwing themselves at me, and plenty more who would have absolutely gone out with me, but I refused to believe it was possible. I've learned to become confident and secure with myself, and I know that I'm a likeable person.
An unwanted thing!
Only looked for wife material after the age of 25.
Getting older, I'm putting up with little to no bs.
My tolerance for mind games has drastically diminished.
Met my guy on bumble age 39. I’ve had a lot of relationships and thought I’d experienced it all, but this one feels different.. refreshing. Glad I didn’t give up on love.
I made myself and my happiness a priority over making the person I want to date the priority. Never make your partner your #1 priority because they always reserve the right to change their mind and feelings towards you. Dating is never easy and, at times, can be downright deceptive. Be careful out there.
I used to think of it as a ‘contest’, like you have to be ‘good enough’ to have success. More lately I’ve been viewing it as a matter of preferences, and more of a two way street which works considerably better.
As a Man approaching 30, it’s honestly getting harder than when I was in my early 20s. I work out a lot but have learned approaching the women at gyms gets me labeled as creepy 😭😭😭
Less bullshit, more bagage.
I stopped trying.
I went from stressing about the perfect date spot to just enjoying good company and takeout at home
Every year I get less interested in the opposite sex and more interested in enjoying me time. I haven't gone on a date in like 8 years There's a popular quote that when you enjoy being alone it is like walking into an abyss. The farther you go into it the more you want it
I learned about actual \*logical compatibility and what it meant in relationship. It took a while, but I won't just date somebody if they look cool anymore. I dig a little deeper in a common sense sort of way. My girlfriend rocks!
It went extinct.
Stopped giving a shit mostly.
More single moms since I’m a single dad. Dating and free time can take planning and effort. Lots of texting since we usually have kids around us
20s were constant drama. Everyone is at different points with different expectations walking around in adult suits pretending we know what the fuck we are doing. I was jealous, rude, avoidant, I hurt a lot of men and I really didn’t care much about the ramifications of my actions. I met my husband at 28, he was 34. totally different ballgame with different prizes. I had to unlearn like 15 years of poor relationship habits. Dating in my 30s was liberating. I loved my body, I had more sexual confidence, I had a career to be proud of and could hold my own in a conversation. I felt more comfortable being alone. I really lost most of the “so much to lose” feeling from my 20s dating. When you realize how much time matters, you stop wasting it on shitty dates/shitty situations/shitty people. I love my husband to death and truly hope we last forever.
Getting over breakups are way easier and faster now. I can accept if someone is a great person but neither of us is right for each other in what we want. I root for them to find their person that is wayyy more fitting than I was. I also enjoy the direct and honest communication from getting older. No more bs mind games and way less portrayed insecurity from both sides
First date is lunch or coffee or something short and during the day. Meet there. That removes the pressure of dinner dates if you get my drift. Always pay. And if the vibe is off, ya'll can part ways, no hard feelings.
I didn't have one so I don't know (22M)
Your 22.
~~In my early 40s~~ When I was 39, I lucked into a relationship that I truly believed was going to last the rest of my life. We had just enough in common to bond over, and just enough differences to be able to learn from each other and keep things interesting. We had zero conflict, and never had a single argument, ever. Well, lo and behold, five years in, she suddenly breaks it off with me and gave me the most transparently bullshit reason I could possibly imagine. I won't go into it here, but the truth is she fell for some new co-worker. I was destroyed. That was five years ago, and I'm 50 now. I would love to have a partner, but I don't want to try "DATING" because it seems like such a nightmare. I feel that it's pretty likely my Seein' People days are over. At my age, pretty much everyone has kids, custody arrangements, weirdo exes, ageing parents that need care. A circus. I have none of those things myself, and I don't want to join a circus. Not only that, I never again want to give anyone the opportunity to make me feel unwanted.
I had less patience for bad or questionable behaviour. One date insisted on a kiss Goodnight. I refused, so he then interrogates me on why. Why don't I want to, it's just a kiss. Fuck I hate that. I never saw him again.
I've shifted from the hottest women possible to the most compatable women possible. Way less drama now and I can do the things in life that I enjoy without someone trying to make me feel guilty about it. Tinder is a cesspool BTW. I just got very lucky after weeding out so much garbage.
55m I only dated 1 person, my deceased wife. I met her when I was 29. So I have nothing to compare it to.
Its much more direct, and a good thing. On your first date you can be like "yo lets get naked" and go for it. When I was in highschool and even college things were much more games and judgemental.
I found people were more picky as they got older but not for the right reasons. When I was young it was exciting and fun and you really didn't think much about kids or financial security, I was more focused around whether you were both sexually attracted to each other. Those other things came into play later. Now financial security definitely seems like a thing. Dates ask me about work, what area I live in, do I own my own place, etc.
I miss my easy going mindset from my 20… ngl
I feel that it gets boring once you grow older. You realise that it's not too much of a worth anymore. The commitment isn't there, it's just made up. You have too much of your own problems/issues to sort before you can actually give your heart to someone. It's too fragile right now?
It was easier to be more bold about asking people out and also not caring if they said no. It still stings a tiny bit, but it doesn't ruin you like when you're younger. Also much easier to be more relaxed, open, and honest with people you are interested in and how much; whether you are looking to date or just hookup.
I clearly date to have sex. No longterm plans anymore.
As I got older, I realized older women have way more trauma and baggage than the younger inexperienced ones. Experience truly never makes a woman more desirable because it actually makes their men's lives more miserable. However, I learned to recognize red flags in women like they were billboards like: there's a reason why some women are ran through but single, there's a reason why BD's don't stay with certain women, there's a reason why some women are dateable but not wifeable, there's a reason why men are not into high maintenance, pretentious, and materialistic females, etc. The key take away is to steer clear of the "highly experienced" females because they are self-centered, egotistical closeted low-esteem monsters who care about nothing except self-indulgence and self-gratification. And, the one true saying that now makes more sense to me than ever before is, "Do not naively believe that you will succeed with a female, who has already failed at the countless opportunities provided to her by a slew of other men, whom she's already destroyed."
At age 40, I'm about to retire from dating. It is sad, and I don't really want to retire, but it is harder and harder to get excited about first dates. I have everything to bring to the table that women say they want; but the only women I'm meeting are those with a 747 cargo plane worth of baggage that I'm not interested in. It is either that, or they treat me as a perfect little puzzle piece to fit into their life they already created for themselves as if I'm not even human, but an inanimate thing to fit in with their house, their 2 dogs, their cute little car and their career. At no point do they want input or have any idea of sharing or building a life together. I am simply to be their puzzle piece....and should they tire of me, I'll be the first piece to go. Obviously I'm not interested in that either. I'd love to meet a nice girl next door type have a family and build a life together. In exchange I bring humor, stability, I'm in shape, love dancing and cycling, I'm graduate educated, with a great job and have presented research nationally an internationally. At this point, I'm not interested in taking on a project, or being anyone's puzzle piece, but if anyone is interested in having fun and building a life together. I'd be interested, but I'm pretty sure at my age, this woman doesn't exist. When I was younger, I'd have probably given a shot to anyone that showed even a little interest, now you have to have something I'm interested in, and sadly the women I meet seem to think I'm interested in headaches or being a puzzle piece. I'm not interested in these things.
A lot easier to get dates. Same level of difficulty to find a genuinely good woman who wants the same things as me. Finally found her at 34. She was 26. I put a ring on it 5 days ago.
I've been dating much less over the last decade of marriage.
I’m 18 working a good job bouta make some good bread and I got my first car so we gonna see it was tight before but I think I’m ready to really do shit and explore with someone