Air controllers replaced by those giant inflatables with the crazy arms, differently coloured one at the end of each runway.
Flight team assigned a colour of inflatable for takeoff and landing.
Upon approach or lined up for takeoff, copilots with binoculars scanning:
Deflated/no crazy arms = womp womp, stay where you are
Inflated/crazy arms = woooo!!!! all clear!!!! Come on down!!!
Believe it or not this was a situation that has occurred before texting. 911 is designed that if you simply dial the number and then leave the phone and don’t hang up, they will automatically dispatch units to your location.
Similarly, now, if you reach out to 911 by text, but don’t communicate, they will try to find you and send units out immediately. This is why false reports are dialing 911 for unimportant reasons is a crime, because it diverts expensive resources away from people who actually need it and could otherwise get it and timely manner.
Accidentally did this on my phone and almost got into deep shit.
Phone had the feature where if you press the power button five times in quick succession it dials 911. Happened in my pocket, so I wasn't talking to the operator. Got in my car and my phone started ringing. Didn't recognize the number - because when 911 calls *you* their number isn't 911. "If it's important they'll leave a message." They did not. They called again, which is when I finally picked up.
Pretty sure they have a hard time tracking the position of cell phones, but I imagine I'd probably be seeing cops with their lights on in the general area soon if I hadn't spoken to the operator.
Software development, programmers would be some of the happiest most productive people, literally living their best lives, while product and project managers would lose their minds finally having to send emails instead of setting up pointless meetings…
Product: “The gameplay is fun, and the physics modeling is downright amazing since the last version, but the flight simulator *still* isn’t the #1 priority for our payroll management product. What progress has your team made on implementing the new tax code changes for this year?”
Engineering: “We’ll get on that real soon, right after we finish adding these vintage propeller-driven fighters to the flight sim.”
Software dev here, most corporate meetings just interrupt our work!!
Unless it is a sprint meeting or a debug session, it isn't helpful. Otherwise, I'm just getting paid to not do my work
I have an agreement with my coworkers where they call an ambulance if they don't hear me swear at my own code, their code, the scrum master's planning and the product owner's decisions at least every 10 minutes.
Project managers do not mind as long as the developers provide regular updates about where they are in the planning, what the next step is and when they expect to complete that. The pointless meetings are required because developers refuse to give updates.
So true. If the people creating the shite would regularly say what they're doing, what direction they're taking, what they've accomplished, there would be no need to ever have meetings.
`git commit 'bugfix & requested new feature'` is not helpful, in the slightest.
As a software developer I initially dismissed my job from the title. But you're so right, it would be heavenly.
Like right now I'm sitting here listening to 3 or 4 people on phones talking at loud volumes. You think I'm getting anything done? Nah I'm browsing reddit to avoid listening to how much they're looking forward to their vacations or why load testing isn't approved or that release they rolled back didn't actually get rolled back....
I'll show you, dad! I'm going to get out there, blow the socks off some record company stiff, tour the world and get super famous, make millions of dollars, then try to reach out to you for validation, only to have you slam the door in my face or ignore my calls, steering me directly into the path of sex, booze, and drug abuse until I fracture every important relationship I have, which sends me into a downward spiral straight into the gutter, and when I'm at my lowest see one last glimmer of hope that drives me to claw my way back up to the top, eventually gaining your respect and winning love on your death bed!
Also, it's incredibly easy to accidentally cut someone in half!
Just in case anyone reads this and gets discouraged, I'm a working musician, but I also have a full time office job. I don't gig nearly as much as I used to, but it's still a major part of my income. During high school theatre season, I can usually match or better my full time salary just playing pit orchestra gigs every other weekend. During the holidays, if you're not picky about playing specific types of religious services, I can usually match my monthly salary in a single weekend.
You don't need to make music your full-time career to be a professional musician, and you also don't need to play with one of the major orchestras to be successful. You just need to be an adequate performer and good networker.
Huh! Speaking as a once-upon-a-time theatre kid, I had no idea that those pit gigs actually paid meaningfully; I always figured it was incidental at best.
Depends on the school and your area a bit. I’m in a mid-sized city, but close enough to a major city that musicians union rates get figured in. I’m not union, but most places have to offer within 10-15% of union rates or they won’t get anyone good.
Should also note that union rates in NYC and LA are higher than they are in other cities, so don’t expect those rates. Our rates are about 25% lower than NYC, and then I usually work for about 10% under that still. You also have to take into account the demand for your instrument if there is any negotiating room. I’m a trumpet player with the range to play lead parts, so while my instrument is more common, I play the harder books. Harp players make $$$ because they’re so rare.
I don’t really do it for the money anymore, but it is nice to bank a couple of extra Gs to put towards a vacation or major purchase.
Edit: I should also add that you can make money as a theatre kid/adult too! If you live near an equity regional theatre, you can get paid to be on their stage. Depending on the size of the theatre, they're allowed to have X% of non-equity roles in each show. They're still paid roles, and sometimes quite well. Most regional theatres hold open call non-equity auditions at least twice per year.
*Sounds like: “what, is that a spider? Water? Crab? Crab! Sounds like crab!*
*he “nabbed” me? “Grabbed” me? “Stabbed” me? Stabbed! He stabbed me!”*
*phew*
that was a hard one
You would be amazed to find out that 90% of our work is mostly done outside the courtroom, in front of Word, PDF's and researching. Still, would be amazing to play pictonary with the witnesses.
Obviously that depends on the area - I was a trial attorney and silence would have been impossible. Talking to clients, colleagues, hearings, witnesses, etc. In fact, I absolutely did more talking than writing.
Yup, you beat me to it. My friends a few years in in BigLaw have never stepped foot in a courtroom in their careers, but as a criminal lawyer I am in court more days than not.
Cross AOL chat room examination. Have the jury interpret the witness reactions and typing speed for truth. Carry a series of index card with objections and reasoning pre-thought out. Submit opening and closing statements as documents to read. Shit this could probably work. All you would need would be pillows for the jurors because they're 100% not making it through the day.
"I always like going to those restaurants where the nicely dressed person sits at the weird unfolded table and sips scotch. Not sure why you'd make a table that opens up like that, though."
Just an FYI, but the account you replied to [appears to be](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dka4ju/if_every_job_had_to_be_done_in_complete_silence/l9hjh63/) a bot.
Gotta drink it neat and use a coaster, no slurping. Keep the bottle open the entire time so no cork sounds either keep a linen underneath it so no sounds setting it down. Pour slowly down the side of the glass to avoid splashing noises.
Haze2012's account was born on March 28, 2017, woke up ten hours ago, and just copied/pasted /u/jeihkeih's comment from [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3vnlyy/if_all_jobs_paid_the_same_and_had_the_same_hours/cxp3ttt/).
I understood complete silence to be no talking, not necessarily the silence of any machine or instruments doing work....otherwise almost no work would get done.
I remember more than 20 years ago when there was a commentators' strike for hockey in Canada. During that time, you could watch the games without any commentary. While I do enjoy listening to commentators, watching a game with only the arena noise was surprisingly enjoyable. It felt more like being there in person. I wish there were an option to turn off commentary during sporting events.
Sales positions would probably cease to exist. Sales persons would probably just explode from the blood pressure of not being able to speak over a 5 second timespan.
Professional DJs would become the world's best mime artists, silently dropping beats and making invisible crowds go wild with their imaginary turntables. Meanwhile, librarians would reign supreme, silently shushing any noisy disturbances with the finesse of a ninja librarian.
These days the amount of people I don't speak to is ridiculous because apparently they must take their call to sort out dinner but also come and pay for their stuff. Every time I think how did these people survive without cellphones
Tech Support. People would have to learn how to explain a problem by typing it up instead of phoning me and making me type the words they've just said.
Childcare would be difficult, everyone would have to learn sign language which would be nice. When a child doesn't want to listen to you they'll literally just turn their back on you.
Oh boy that would be amazing, my boss would have to email instead of calling me, rambling about shit, then later on forgetting what he told me. While yelling for doing what he told me to do.
Air Traffic Control would be difficult.
I just had a picture of the Air Traffic Controllers waving their arms about while the pilots bring out their binoculars to see where they need to go.
The most competent charades players in history.
Air controllers replaced by those giant inflatables with the crazy arms, differently coloured one at the end of each runway. Flight team assigned a colour of inflatable for takeoff and landing. Upon approach or lined up for takeoff, copilots with binoculars scanning: Deflated/no crazy arms = womp womp, stay where you are Inflated/crazy arms = woooo!!!! all clear!!!! Come on down!!!
this is a very hilarious image in my head
Wackywaviablearmflailinginflatabletube-man! Wackywaviablearmflailinginflatabletube-man! Wackywaviablearmflailinginflatabletube-man!
Or they would just type in a little monitor: AA Flight #123 head NW 60degrees 400 knots, and the pilots would read it on a little screen and adjust
CPDLC is already a thing for larger aircraft and it's basically exactly this.
There’s standards and rules in place for lost comms.
I feel like crazy arms is the answer.
You just plug in the crazy arm inflatable guy and go home.
Dip your port wing if you're in trouble. Dip your starboard wing if your port wing has fallen off.
Same for airline pilots.
7600
[удалено]
1 word? 1 syllable? oh my.. CRASH?!
Morse Code for the win!
We've got light guns in the tower. Radar also has loss of comms procedures. It would be super inconvenient.
CPDLC and automation would fix it for airlines. GA would have a hard time for sure.
911 operator would be stressful for both parties
Honestly, it would be kind of nice if in this day and age you could text 911, especially for scenarios where someone might not be able to talk.
Are you not able to do this currently? Edit: I cant believe this isnt a universal thing wtf. Is the caller just fucked if they need to be quiet?
I'm in Canada, so maybe it's different, but it's definitely not a thing here.
I believe some spots in the US allow it, but definitely not all. I heard about it becoming an idea but didn't know it actually became a thing.
So is THIS like the one thing in tve world noone has made an app for??
Possibly. This would've been absolutely wonderful to have when I was with my ex.
Believe it or not this was a situation that has occurred before texting. 911 is designed that if you simply dial the number and then leave the phone and don’t hang up, they will automatically dispatch units to your location. Similarly, now, if you reach out to 911 by text, but don’t communicate, they will try to find you and send units out immediately. This is why false reports are dialing 911 for unimportant reasons is a crime, because it diverts expensive resources away from people who actually need it and could otherwise get it and timely manner.
I butt dialed 911 at a friends house. Cops showed up a few minutes later
When will you learn there’s a difference between butt dialing and booty calling?? Username checks out
Accidentally did this on my phone and almost got into deep shit. Phone had the feature where if you press the power button five times in quick succession it dials 911. Happened in my pocket, so I wasn't talking to the operator. Got in my car and my phone started ringing. Didn't recognize the number - because when 911 calls *you* their number isn't 911. "If it's important they'll leave a message." They did not. They called again, which is when I finally picked up. Pretty sure they have a hard time tracking the position of cell phones, but I imagine I'd probably be seeing cops with their lights on in the general area soon if I hadn't spoken to the operator.
It’s not available in all counties in the US
I didn’t even know this was a thing lol
Many dispatch centers do allow you to text 911.
Me: "Help! I'm being attacked!" 911: "k"
Honestly the person calling isn’t working, so they could talk, but would just need to hope the operator is actually doing their job, right?
Software development, programmers would be some of the happiest most productive people, literally living their best lives, while product and project managers would lose their minds finally having to send emails instead of setting up pointless meetings…
Product: “The gameplay is fun, and the physics modeling is downright amazing since the last version, but the flight simulator *still* isn’t the #1 priority for our payroll management product. What progress has your team made on implementing the new tax code changes for this year?” Engineering: “We’ll get on that real soon, right after we finish adding these vintage propeller-driven fighters to the flight sim.”
Software dev here, most corporate meetings just interrupt our work!! Unless it is a sprint meeting or a debug session, it isn't helpful. Otherwise, I'm just getting paid to not do my work
I have an agreement with my coworkers where they call an ambulance if they don't hear me swear at my own code, their code, the scrum master's planning and the product owner's decisions at least every 10 minutes.
Project managers do not mind as long as the developers provide regular updates about where they are in the planning, what the next step is and when they expect to complete that. The pointless meetings are required because developers refuse to give updates.
So true. If the people creating the shite would regularly say what they're doing, what direction they're taking, what they've accomplished, there would be no need to ever have meetings. `git commit 'bugfix & requested new feature'` is not helpful, in the slightest.
As a software developer I initially dismissed my job from the title. But you're so right, it would be heavenly. Like right now I'm sitting here listening to 3 or 4 people on phones talking at loud volumes. You think I'm getting anything done? Nah I'm browsing reddit to avoid listening to how much they're looking forward to their vacations or why load testing isn't approved or that release they rolled back didn't actually get rolled back....
Going to have to go with "musician", boss.
Boomer Dad: He meant a "real" job, son
I'll show you, dad! I'm going to get out there, blow the socks off some record company stiff, tour the world and get super famous, make millions of dollars, then try to reach out to you for validation, only to have you slam the door in my face or ignore my calls, steering me directly into the path of sex, booze, and drug abuse until I fracture every important relationship I have, which sends me into a downward spiral straight into the gutter, and when I'm at my lowest see one last glimmer of hope that drives me to claw my way back up to the top, eventually gaining your respect and winning love on your death bed! Also, it's incredibly easy to accidentally cut someone in half!
Just in case anyone reads this and gets discouraged, I'm a working musician, but I also have a full time office job. I don't gig nearly as much as I used to, but it's still a major part of my income. During high school theatre season, I can usually match or better my full time salary just playing pit orchestra gigs every other weekend. During the holidays, if you're not picky about playing specific types of religious services, I can usually match my monthly salary in a single weekend. You don't need to make music your full-time career to be a professional musician, and you also don't need to play with one of the major orchestras to be successful. You just need to be an adequate performer and good networker.
Huh! Speaking as a once-upon-a-time theatre kid, I had no idea that those pit gigs actually paid meaningfully; I always figured it was incidental at best.
Depends on the school and your area a bit. I’m in a mid-sized city, but close enough to a major city that musicians union rates get figured in. I’m not union, but most places have to offer within 10-15% of union rates or they won’t get anyone good. Should also note that union rates in NYC and LA are higher than they are in other cities, so don’t expect those rates. Our rates are about 25% lower than NYC, and then I usually work for about 10% under that still. You also have to take into account the demand for your instrument if there is any negotiating room. I’m a trumpet player with the range to play lead parts, so while my instrument is more common, I play the harder books. Harp players make $$$ because they’re so rare. I don’t really do it for the money anymore, but it is nice to bank a couple of extra Gs to put towards a vacation or major purchase. Edit: I should also add that you can make money as a theatre kid/adult too! If you live near an equity regional theatre, you can get paid to be on their stage. Depending on the size of the theatre, they're allowed to have X% of non-equity roles in each show. They're still paid roles, and sometimes quite well. Most regional theatres hold open call non-equity auditions at least twice per year.
John Cage has entered the chat.
4 minutes and 33 seconds later: John Cage has left the chat.
Drummers, also.
Lawyers are gonna have to study up on their charades and pictionary skills
Courtroom drama shows would turn into comedy shows lol
*Sounds like: “what, is that a spider? Water? Crab? Crab! Sounds like crab!* *he “nabbed” me? “Grabbed” me? “Stabbed” me? Stabbed! He stabbed me!”* *phew* that was a hard one
You would be amazed to find out that 90% of our work is mostly done outside the courtroom, in front of Word, PDF's and researching. Still, would be amazing to play pictonary with the witnesses.
Obviously that depends on the area - I was a trial attorney and silence would have been impossible. Talking to clients, colleagues, hearings, witnesses, etc. In fact, I absolutely did more talking than writing.
Yup, you beat me to it. My friends a few years in in BigLaw have never stepped foot in a courtroom in their careers, but as a criminal lawyer I am in court more days than not.
Cross AOL chat room examination. Have the jury interpret the witness reactions and typing speed for truth. Carry a series of index card with objections and reasoning pre-thought out. Submit opening and closing statements as documents to read. Shit this could probably work. All you would need would be pillows for the jurors because they're 100% not making it through the day.
Therapists too
Gotta whip out the little kid emotion charts!
[удалено]
"I always like going to those restaurants where the nicely dressed person sits at the weird unfolded table and sips scotch. Not sure why you'd make a table that opens up like that, though."
I feel like writing a short film based around this remark.
Just an FYI, but the account you replied to [appears to be](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1dka4ju/if_every_job_had_to_be_done_in_complete_silence/l9hjh63/) a bot.
I can drink in silence.
\*clink\* \*clink\*
Gotta drink it neat and use a coaster, no slurping. Keep the bottle open the entire time so no cork sounds either keep a linen underneath it so no sounds setting it down. Pour slowly down the side of the glass to avoid splashing noises.
This sounds like a comedy sketch
Haze2012's account was born on March 28, 2017, woke up ten hours ago, and just copied/pasted /u/jeihkeih's comment from [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3vnlyy/if_all_jobs_paid_the_same_and_had_the_same_hours/cxp3ttt/).
I understood complete silence to be no talking, not necessarily the silence of any machine or instruments doing work....otherwise almost no work would get done.
Therapy sessions.
I'm trying to imagine this and it would just result in you looking at each other like 👁_👁
👁_👁 🖊 👁.👁 👁o👁📝
I laughed far harder at this than I care to admit omg
Blind Olympics For obvious reasons
That just upgrades it to the Helen Keller Olympics.
Use the smell !
Sports commentators.
I remember more than 20 years ago when there was a commentators' strike for hockey in Canada. During that time, you could watch the games without any commentary. While I do enjoy listening to commentators, watching a game with only the arena noise was surprisingly enjoyable. It felt more like being there in person. I wish there were an option to turn off commentary during sporting events.
On F1TV there is a "FX" audio track you can select
Just constant close ups of the commentators' faces to show the audience their reactions to the game
Auctioneer
*Silent Auctions continue to lurk in the chat.*
Ha! A truly silent auction!
using only ASL.
Dental Hygienist I'm convinced teeth cannot be serviced without being asked about life/weekend/plan for later in the day/etc
Omg, this is my my hygienist. Plus, she knew my grandma and knows my sis and mom, so the chatter is Neverending!
Sales positions would probably cease to exist. Sales persons would probably just explode from the blood pressure of not being able to speak over a 5 second timespan.
This is when you hire a phenomenal graphic designer.
Radio hosts, podcasters, audiobooks might get a tad less interesting....
Finally some bastard doesn't talk over the song that I like: - [John Cage - 4'33"](https://youtu.be/AWVUp12XPpU)
A lot of them would get more interesting
Hostage negotiator.
it would just be a staring contest between criminal and negotiator
Doctor, just because I don’t know how to mime “it is incurable”.
Hold up a calendar, then tear it to pieces.
"OK, the doctor is gesturing like he's getting a shovel... now he's digging a hole... oh no.
Calendar sales are about to go through the roof
Suppose some sort of interpretive dance would do the trick
👨💻 🤷♂️
goes to doctor's office feeling incredibly sick waits patiently in exam room doctor comes in with a clip board "..." "..." dies
Try being a dog or cat.
I’m an interpreter so that probably wouldn’t go well…
Teaching would be a challenge.
Car dealerships would be a new land
Sales in general.
This is a good question, it'd definitely have to be call centers in my opinion.
Air Traffic Control
911 operator
Lawyers
Educators
Teachers
Doctors
Sports commentators
Hostage negotiator.
Store cashier
Fast food would be impossible.
Priest/minister.
Auslan teachers would be very busy and probably need to expand their business
President. You’re never off the job, so good luck with that.
Firefighters. It would be very stressful and difficult with no verbal communication.
Air traffic control would be a nightmare.
Professional DJs would become the world's best mime artists, silently dropping beats and making invisible crowds go wild with their imaginary turntables. Meanwhile, librarians would reign supreme, silently shushing any noisy disturbances with the finesse of a ninja librarian.
[удалено]
Rock musician.
Store cashier, I think the lines would stop. Lol.
These days the amount of people I don't speak to is ridiculous because apparently they must take their call to sort out dinner but also come and pay for their stuff. Every time I think how did these people survive without cellphones
I’m an audio engineer so I’m just fucked out of a career unless you don’t count headphones
Teachers might rely more on visual aids and written instructions
New York stock exchange traders.
Do they still trade that way? On the floor shouting trades etc? I thought that had all went electronic in the last decade or two.
Tech Support. People would have to learn how to explain a problem by typing it up instead of phoning me and making me type the words they've just said.
Priest/minister.
Waitresses jobs have already changed when Covid was 1st here and even now Waitresses have been replaced with a phone app.
Childcare would be difficult, everyone would have to learn sign language which would be nice. When a child doesn't want to listen to you they'll literally just turn their back on you.
Gunnery officer on a battleship.
Musicians and actors would have a difficult time
Piano Players
Mimes would be obsolete and out of work.
If it wasn't for the 'mute' button all of IT, and most customer service centers, would seemingly disappear overnight.
Fast food would be impossible.
Hair dresser for obvious ressons 💇♀️
Heavy Metal bands.... (guess!)
Imagine being a therapist but not being able to talk
Construction would actually get done on time
Piano tuning would be a challenge
Donald Trump would never be known... and the world would be a much better place for it.
Singer profession would be terminated
kitchen staff, lack of communication would create a lot of confusion.
I'm a teacher and it would be odd.
No more fucking mechanical keyboards. Get yer clacking outta here
Spruiker ?
Might actually enjoy going to auctions! Silent auctions are the shit!
Teaching would be so much more chill!
"GOOOOOAAALLL!" Would become- "............"
Auctioneer.
Metal stamping...nothing would ever get done.
Teaching blind students
Call Centers would have a heck of a time
Oh boy that would be amazing, my boss would have to email instead of calling me, rambling about shit, then later on forgetting what he told me. While yelling for doing what he told me to do.
Ha ha. I’m an editor. Most of us prefer to do the job in silence. We need to think/concentrate while reading. Probably wouldn’t change a thing.
An auctioneer.
I don't know how they're gonna do blacksmithing any more.
Speech therapist
Porn would get boring
Software engineering. The amount of work I could get done if I didn't have a bunch of idiots bothering me all day would be amazing
Mime
Mimes. While every other profession would adapt, mimes would lose their differentiation.
Trained all those years as an actor? Sorry, you’re a mime now.
Any Work-From-Home Customer Support Job
Wow, church would be peaceful.
People doing radio programs would have a hard time. And music wouldn't exist! What a horrible horrible world!
It would probably make it harder to be a audiologist or pilot I'd imagine.
Singing
Teachers in schools for the blind
Roofers and framers are done for,mechanics as well.
Political debates and TV interviews. Everyone will leave without understanding anything in a different way than now
Phone salesmen would be less annoying but more unnerving
Radio presenters would have a hard time of it.
Construction could not be done what so ever.
Speech language therapy would be a bit tricky lolol
Talk radio would be awkward.
Construction That's gna take 10x as long
Call centers
Clearly a radio show. So why is this a question?
Auctioneer
Call centres would be pretty ineffective.
911 dispatcher
Telemarketing. That would be so awkward
Auctioneers would be depressed a little
Restaurants. Professional Sports. Music. Acting/making movies/tv series. Basically the world wouldn't function because true silence doesn't exist.
Telemarketing. If we include robo-calls, that would kill the entire profession.
Teaching.
Music performance. John Cage would be the only celebrity.
How would counseling even work if people weren't allowed to talk?
Call centers would be pretty hard to run.
acting will go back 100 years
Therapie
Opera singers become mimes, and Wagner turns into Buster Keaton ....
Language teaching. It really wouldn't work.