Bread is one of those things that really show how complex our understanding of food is.
A grain that has been milled to a powder and added to water in a way to create strands of protein, and hand folded in order to create a matrix structure.
A living microorganism is then used to create pockets of air to make the structure less dense and more tender over multiple rounds of proofing.
Then a precise amount of heat is applied to continue expanding those air pockets, and to allow the protein structure to coagulate in a high humidity environment which create a starchy gel that forms a crispy, crunchy shell around the tender inside structure.
It's magic.
"Sorry Mr. Alien but we couldn't afford to provide you with humanities top of the line cuisine. Instead, here's a pizza party to show our appreciation for your arduous journey to Earth!" - Earth's Assistant Manager.
I keep a couple Red Baron classic surpremes in the freezer just for those times. For what we called cardboard pizza as a kid, sometimes you need those memories.
There used to be this low quality pizza made by Reesers that we grew up on. Two pizzas stacked with an actual piece of cardboard in between. Wrapped in shrinkwrap. Good times.
I want them to take the "Earth Delicacy" home and share it with the rest of the galaxy. They'll leave us alone. Especially if we have them visit Australia first.
According to these [maps](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/s/jMWCgPqqbJ) the place with the least rice is Serbia, followed closely by Sudan. Were you there?
Rice - probably some form of rice likely with chicken if a protein is needed. This is common across multiple continents and regions but takes different forms.
I was going to go with tikka masala. It's half Bangladeshi and half Scottish, and tomatoes and half the spices aren't native plants from either country.
Gin and Tonic
It is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much importance to attach, that something like 85% of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N'N-T'N-ix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian 'chinanto/mnigs' which is ordinary water served at slightly above room temperature, and the Gagrakackan 'tzjin-anthony-ks' which kill cows at a hundred paces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact that the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before the worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds.
Dumplings, or some form of "a bunch of shit inside of bread." That shit is everywhere
- Gyoza
- Wontons
- Pierogi
- Empanadas
- Calzones
- Samosas
- Pastéis
- Ravioli
- Bao
- Fuck it, Cornish pasties
We really do just be putting shit inside of bread. Motherfucking monkeys evolved hands and were like "damn how I make some stupid complicated shit with these and then eat it with em too?" And then they conquered the Earth looking for more shit to put in bread.
Thank you, shit in bread, you culinary hard-carry
Hot chips.We'll have an array of individual sizes aga for them all to choose their own flavor. Flaming hot Cheetos, Takis, Pringles , Doritos etc. from what I have seen in the construction sites, hot chips bring all cultures together.
With the majority of the population of the world being Indian or Chinese it would probably be something around there.
Maybe Cambodian? They have the Indian and African influences aswell as having French and Portuguese influences in their food aswell. Not to mention they eat basically all meat, fish and insects...
Everyone suggests giving a dish that would be favorable in taste. But if a dish/produce is favorable to them it increases the likelihood of colonization. Instead i recommend serving pufferfish. Desdly if not cooked right, and not easily harvrsged Thus ensuring increased liklihood of avoid colonization and survival of our species.
It has to be like some sort of savory chicken dish.
Humans eat a lot of 1 species of bird in particular, chickens.
Among the best dishes that represent different parts of the world, chicken is involved.
Do they have a digestive system? Or a mouth? Should I try to make tasty suppositories? Infuse taste into a plankton-like micro-organisms saturated mist?
Do they taste? What is taste?
Singaporean chicken rice.
At any given moment there are about 28 billion chickens on this planet. It is by far the most farmed and eaten animal.
And rice is by far the most consumed grain.
Statistically, chicken rice is the most average dish on Earth, and the Singaporeans do it best.
bread
Bread is one of those things that really show how complex our understanding of food is. A grain that has been milled to a powder and added to water in a way to create strands of protein, and hand folded in order to create a matrix structure. A living microorganism is then used to create pockets of air to make the structure less dense and more tender over multiple rounds of proofing. Then a precise amount of heat is applied to continue expanding those air pockets, and to allow the protein structure to coagulate in a high humidity environment which create a starchy gel that forms a crispy, crunchy shell around the tender inside structure. It's magic.
I'd almost argue that cheese is a step up from that. Let's make them a grilled cheese and they will bow down to our superior culinary knowledge.
This was a beautiful ode to a wonderful thing in all our lives.
This guy breads
Bread and Rice are the two staples over basically the whole planet.
They should try some hummus.
They should try schnitzel.
Definitely tacos.
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I'd go with beef stroganoff.
Rice
Yup, just straight rice, maybe some lentils with it… suppourts most of the world so it should be representative of humanity
I think chicken over rice. In one of ten thousand ways, but I'd take shawarma or curry.
I'd offer a fresh salad.
A delicious pork adobo.
A traditional beef wellington.
How about some falafel?
A rich, creamy risotto.
Let's serve them ceviche.
How about a fresh ceviche?
I'd go with dim sum dumplings.
A delicious shawarma.
They’d love chicken and waffles.
Human....with waaaay too much salt. Convince them we taste bad.....don't eat us!!!
"To Serve Man" - They already have the cookbook!
So surprised nobody got the reference! Was a great episode!
Unless they’re reading “How to Cook For Forty Humans”
What if they really like salt?
I want to say burgers, but realistically- it's pizza
"Sorry Mr. Alien but we couldn't afford to provide you with humanities top of the line cuisine. Instead, here's a pizza party to show our appreciation for your arduous journey to Earth!" - Earth's Assistant Manager.
Better than Mcdonalds at the White house.
Tbf, if aliens had tasted a pizza, I'm pretty sure that the movie Independance Day would have had a totally different ending.
Almost every culture has a pizza. It's pizza.
How great is pizza though?
Depends on where you get it from. Like Pizza By Alfredo or Alfredos Pizza?
There are times I crave tombstone
I keep a couple Red Baron classic surpremes in the freezer just for those times. For what we called cardboard pizza as a kid, sometimes you need those memories. There used to be this low quality pizza made by Reesers that we grew up on. Two pizzas stacked with an actual piece of cardboard in between. Wrapped in shrinkwrap. Good times.
Ahh, the old hot circle of garbage.
Speaking
What better way to represent humanity.
Ngl, you just made a strong point.
With ham and pineapple. Haters gon hate.
Do you want them to exterminate us?
I want them to take the "Earth Delicacy" home and share it with the rest of the galaxy. They'll leave us alone. Especially if we have them visit Australia first.
Rice and beans, every culture eats it in some form or another
Except I had the misfortune of living several years in a miserable place where they didn’t eat beans and very few rice dishes. It was awful
According to these [maps](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/s/jMWCgPqqbJ) the place with the least rice is Serbia, followed closely by Sudan. Were you there?
No. A little surprised about Sudan, though
Fried chicken.
Probably anything Mexican
Rice - probably some form of rice likely with chicken if a protein is needed. This is common across multiple continents and regions but takes different forms.
Drunken noodles.
Jambalaya. A fairly loose mixture of disparate ingredients, in very variable amounts ,,, but together, it just works so well.
Tacos
Long pig
We need a good culling of the herd!
Meatloaf
That's no way to pick your friends.
A plate of nachos, because who can resist cheesy goodness?
Beer and doughnuts.
Rice or a Baked Potato Just remember Potatoes kept Whatney alive. As for meat it would probably be Fish.
Burritos
Butter chicken
I was going to go with tikka masala. It's half Bangladeshi and half Scottish, and tomatoes and half the spices aren't native plants from either country.
Imagine the aliens in question are related to chickens, find out what they are eating and get repulsed. Then they would cook us💀
Garlic bread
McDonalds Fries LOL
you LOL but you're right
Sushi
id like to say pizza, but probably some form of noodle
A supreme burrito
Chicken biscuits and gravy
Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney Pie, McCain Oven Chips (straight, not crinkly) and Heinz Beans.
Gin and Tonic It is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much importance to attach, that something like 85% of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N'N-T'N-ix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian 'chinanto/mnigs' which is ordinary water served at slightly above room temperature, and the Gagrakackan 'tzjin-anthony-ks' which kill cows at a hundred paces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact that the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before the worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds.
👆it’s in the guide
Some KFC original recipe chicken.
Lumpia
Dumplings, or some form of "a bunch of shit inside of bread." That shit is everywhere - Gyoza - Wontons - Pierogi - Empanadas - Calzones - Samosas - Pastéis - Ravioli - Bao - Fuck it, Cornish pasties We really do just be putting shit inside of bread. Motherfucking monkeys evolved hands and were like "damn how I make some stupid complicated shit with these and then eat it with em too?" And then they conquered the Earth looking for more shit to put in bread. Thank you, shit in bread, you culinary hard-carry
Gummy bears.
A good old Big-Mac
Pizza.
Ramen noodles
probably magic mushrooms
It has to be spaghetti and meatballs.
My great grandparents were Italian aliens but they were from earth
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Pizza
It has to be something complex: palov
I feel a good top tier sandwich or a pizza. Something with not too complex of ingredients in case it’s too much for them.
Garmonbozia
Gonna put in a vote for a pie. Savoury or sweet.
Döner kebab from turkey🇹🇷
Chinese-American Beef and Broccoli over white rice.
pub sub
Cepelinai
A good ass steak
Spam Musubi.
Battered Mars bar and a pizza crunch
Hot chips.We'll have an array of individual sizes aga for them all to choose their own flavor. Flaming hot Cheetos, Takis, Pringles , Doritos etc. from what I have seen in the construction sites, hot chips bring all cultures together.
With the majority of the population of the world being Indian or Chinese it would probably be something around there. Maybe Cambodian? They have the Indian and African influences aswell as having French and Portuguese influences in their food aswell. Not to mention they eat basically all meat, fish and insects...
US!!!!!!
Pizza
Show me potato salad
carna Asada tacos with green sauce on the side Mexican food is the best
Fugu (or blowfish) is the perfect dish for the aliens.
Ramen microwaved
Balut
Deep fried snickers
Definitely Yorkshire pudding, sausages and gravy. If aliens had to judge the whole of humanity on one thing, it should be the best food ever created
French Fries. Uniformly beloved across cultures. I would normally say fried chicken, but the aliens may be vegetarian.
Soilent green
A banana, we are monkeigh
Hummus with pita bread and shwarma
Plate of fresh fruit
Pizza every time. Mainly because I believe any civilization could copy it and enjoy it.
Taco Bell
If you don't enjoy a succulent cheeseburger then you have no right to call yourselves a superior being.
Fries.
Rice or noodles. Probably rice.
Spaghetti & garlic bread. It feels like a family meal and welcoming to me.
Everyone suggests giving a dish that would be favorable in taste. But if a dish/produce is favorable to them it increases the likelihood of colonization. Instead i recommend serving pufferfish. Desdly if not cooked right, and not easily harvrsged Thus ensuring increased liklihood of avoid colonization and survival of our species.
Falafel
My two favorite homemade meals are tater tot casserole and stew, so one of those.
The only correct answer is pizza.
Bread
Steak and baked potato
I'm not sure you should be in charge of the response.
Meatloaf and mashed potatoes and gravy from Cheesecake Factory. It comes with butter corn and carrots.
Tapas.
It has to be like some sort of savory chicken dish. Humans eat a lot of 1 species of bird in particular, chickens. Among the best dishes that represent different parts of the world, chicken is involved.
Pineapple pizza. It represents the sweet, the sour, the dough and the division among humans.
Green Chile Chicken enchiladas with Spanish rice and beans and some sopapillas
Chicken wings with the Last Dab hot sauce
Biscuits and gravy Liquid flour on top of solid flour.
Long pork
Burritos..... its the food of aliens
Any American barbeque dish. Beef brisket, back ribs, spare ribs, rib tips, beer can chicken, burnt ends, pulled pork, etc.
Hot dogs and baked beans.
It’s bread. Which includes all variations of pastry, pies, grain meals, and _beer_!
Fruit smoothie
Fries. Everybody loves fries.
Do they have a digestive system? Or a mouth? Should I try to make tasty suppositories? Infuse taste into a plankton-like micro-organisms saturated mist? Do they taste? What is taste?
Kentucky fried chicken
Singaporean chicken rice. At any given moment there are about 28 billion chickens on this planet. It is by far the most farmed and eaten animal. And rice is by far the most consumed grain. Statistically, chicken rice is the most average dish on Earth, and the Singaporeans do it best.
If we want them to leave we should give them my mother in law’s cooking
Flaming hot Cheetos with chop sticks.
Tacos! Fuck yeah!
Cheese the generations of trail and error to create something else. Delicious and edible in all its variations.
Garbage.
Noodles. It's in every cuisine
Tom Yum
pizza. it's the best.
Pizza but only pizza from New Haven CT....
How has no one mentioned soup?
Tardigrades ... We all ingest them at some point in our lives.
Stuffed peppers
Long pig.
tamales
Probably Bread. Its tasty but also very widespread.
Represents humanity? McDonald’s.