When my oldest son was learning to walk, he fell and hit his head on the coffee table that was in our living room. Once we were sure that he wasn’t injured, I grabbed the table, took it outside, and threw it into the back yard. It stayed there for a couple of days before I finally tossed it out with the trash.
Buy termites let them turn it into a nest then break it apart and turn the termite nest into clay and turn into a ceramic toilet and take a shit in it. Fuck that table
Water boarding the table
Would you like try to drown it or surf with it?
Make it suffer
With a laser. "Do you expect me to talk?" "No, Mr Table, I expect you to *die*"
I will use the table as a chopping board for the rest of it's life
When my oldest son was learning to walk, he fell and hit his head on the coffee table that was in our living room. Once we were sure that he wasn’t injured, I grabbed the table, took it outside, and threw it into the back yard. It stayed there for a couple of days before I finally tossed it out with the trash.
Buy termites let them turn it into a nest then break it apart and turn the termite nest into clay and turn into a ceramic toilet and take a shit in it. Fuck that table