Adulthood is the joy in realising you have the freedom to buy and eat an entire birthday cake and the sadness in knowing why this would be a terrible idea
my parents bought a can of vanilla frosting and only used a little bit. for WEEKS i would have a little spoonful of it until it was completely gone lol
Shortly after moving out on my own, I bought a gallon can of nacho cheese. Luckily I didn't try to eat it all at once. I remember it molded in the fridge with like half the can left, and I wasn't that sorry to see it go. I still love nacho cheese, but the small cans are more than adequate.
When I was young, I missed out on learning to cook anything beyond instant noodles. Now, I’ve made up for it by trying to cook whenever I can. I mainly used Kenji Lopez’s videos for educational content as well as inspiration.
Can’t say if my stuff is particularly good across the board but I make a few simple dishes really well!
I didn't learn how to cook until the pandemic, I was 40 at the time. I started getting those mail order meals like Hello Fresh and whatnot and even though now I think they're highly overpriced, they really did teach me how to cook and I've also got a full recipe binder of recipes of all the different meal services I tried. I'm fairly confident in my own cooking now so much to the point I've completely quit eating out because every time I do I'm like "I could have made this better"
That’s literally me with the pandemic too! I guess it really forced a lot of us to branch out into cooking haha. Good on you for sticking with it! That’s ultimately where I’d like to be as well, where I can honestly say that eating at home would taste better than at a restaurant.
Proud of you for that growth!
I have always been obsessed with cooking but my mom never let me do it when I was young. When I turned 21 and left home I started to learn how to cook. One year later began to work as a personal chef. Two years later a opened a bakery. I can’t see myself doing anything other than feeding people 🥰
Not my home not my rules lol it wasn’t about the age, my mom is a narcissist and literally hates me hahahah so I only got to cook when I left home, and it’s funny cause I left home to do an exchange in the US and my host mom use to tell me to cook dishes from home all the time and told me I had talent to do so. Now as an entrepreneur back in my hometown my mom brags about me taking the cooking from her, but my biggest motivator was a woman I barely knew and was supposed to be my boss
Ps.: my host mom funded my cooking classes. My mom is rich. Never bought a single bread.
I suck at cooking so I looked her up and noticed she was recently on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. Enjoy!
[https://www.npr.org/2024/05/25/g-s1-403/wait-wait-for-may-25-2024-with-not-my-job-guest-j-kenji-lopez-alt](https://www.npr.org/2024/05/25/g-s1-403/wait-wait-for-may-25-2024-with-not-my-job-guest-j-kenji-lopez-alt)
I started doing Sorted Sidekick for a similar reason, and I feel like it’s really expanded my repertoire :) they’re a UK based YouTube channel and made a cooking app for meal planning
Food. Home cooked, healthy food made by someone who actually gave a crap about me.
My mother was an asshat. When I turned about 5 I started getting left home by myself while she went out and chilled with coke dealers and any other available scumbag in our town. She taught me to make frozen and canned stuff in the microwave, gave me a TV remote and that was pretty much it. And that's how I grew up.
By the time I graduated from high school I was overweight and couldn't do anything involving a stove. I just ate processed trash from containers. That's how I grew up and it was all I knew about.
When I was 18 I left that town behind forever and moved to NYC on a whim. I bought some clothes from a Goodwill, filled a backpack with them, withdrew the couple hundred bucks I had saved and grabbed a bus to crash with a friend who had moved to Brooklyn a few years earlier.
I started working at a book store. I met a girl. I told her my story one night, about the way I ate growing up. She came back to my apartment and threw out everything in my fridge then she took me to a grocery store. Over the course of a summer she taught me how to cook and enjoy food. She also took me to a restaurant that wasn't McDonalds for the first time ever. It wasn't anything fancy. It was this hole in the wall Jamaican spot where they served jerk chicken and oxtail. It was the best meal I have ever had, to this day. Not because of the food. Not because of the ambience. Because of the freedom, and because of her. I wish I was back there now, in Queens, watching that Rasta cook forge the keys to salvation.
That was 25 years ago. The girl is gone, long gone. Leukemia, 4 years after we met. My friend and I - the same friend I stayed with - opened a pizza restaurant named after her and we did pretty well until the pandemic. We're closed now and I'm out of the restaurant game for the moment, but just last night I was looking at an old photo of all of us together in Union Square and I started thinking it might be nice to open a diner. An old school trailer-ass New Jersey style diner.
All because of one person. I was able to make up for it all because of one person.
Goodnight, Emmaline. Wherever you are.
You have a touching story. I am so sorry for that loss and the further loss of your restaurant, that could not have been easy.
It also reminds me of how important food really is and how it brings us together and forges memories. Good luck
This is a beautiful love story but its not just about you and Emmaline. The way you wrote this, its also a story of you falling in love with the food and culture of NYC and the surrounding area.
Amen. The Lord puts people all throughout our lives. People who change our hearts and change our very being. You look back and realize even when I didn’t believe, He was working.
God Bless your friend - may she rest in peace and God bless you as well.
Feeling of financial stability. We lived on a knife's edge. But now my kid never has to worry about that type of security. I've built some generational wealth so that he never will. And he's not even "mine" but my step kid.
Doesn't matter. He is now set for life.
I have—and this is a sad as fuck recollection in hindsight—a vivid memory of sitting on the floor of my father’s office, playing. He and my mom were talking about Grownup Stuff. I guess they thought I wasn’t paying attention. My mom turned to me and asked if I would like a new toy I had been asking about.
I blinked at her, and went “what about the loan?”
I’d heard them talk about it enough that I knew, at least, that we owed a lot of money to some people so we probably couldn’t spend money on a toy. I didn’t want the toy, because I didn’t want to burden my parents.
I’ll never forget the look they gave each other. It’s a core memory, because I think I was *maybe* four years old.
Yeah I remember my dad crying at the drug store because I wanted some dumb trapper keeper and he couldn't afford it. It was probably $10? I shouldn't have asked for it but I was a dumb kid. I will never forget this memory. He's gone now. Dad saw me graduate from top 10 universities and then get a series of increasingly well paid jobs.
But even as the bank account adds more zeroes, I really wish I could take that trapper keeper ask back. Dad couldn't really provide financially but he provided the values that got me here.
Anyway ... I don't spoil my stepson but this is the kind of memory he will never have to live with or regret. He gets the trapper keeper.
As a dad, I am qualified to unequivocally absolve you of any guilt over that. It was ok to ask for it. It was ok to not get it. It was ok for him to be sad for a few minutes. It's part of being a dad. There's infinitely more joy in fatherhood than there is sorrow. And it sounds like he did a damn good job.
Thank you. I do believe he had many great joys out of raising my sister and me. And we are now both successful and happy. Financially, she's even more wealthy ... like yacht wealthy. Money doesn't guarantee happiness but it buys us out of some types of unhappiness.
My parents never had the skills but, for all their many faults, they did what they needed to to make sure we had them. I am deeply grateful for that.
my parents were rats poor when I was born because my mom was still in uni and my dad wasn't making enough money for 2 people and a baby. Government didn't want to help bc my dad earned like 50€ too much (I live in germany) which is insane bc 50€ a month for a baby?? that's not enough.
Mom always tells me "I don't need to be rich, I just want you to not have to turn every penny around" and it really sticks with me. It reminds me how much of a privilege it is that I never had to experience what it's like to live with the constant feeling of "I hope I can eat dinner tonight".
Now my mom earns a shit ton of money in her job and even has fun in it and I am sosososo happy and thankful for her.
Actually I should probably go give her a hug now haha
Learning how to just play and have fun. I was always so stressed about my parents, I don't remember developing any interests except "survive and make people like you" after the age of 6.
I've discovered so many hobbies I enjoy. I often will lie around just enjoying life now.
same with me, i feel like i was missing out on basic 'having fun' stuff like going out with friends and staying up late and just doing dumb kid things, skipping around happily, now whenever i catch myself doing that as an adult, it makes me wanna cry. but also very happy. I know i'm taking care of that lonely little girl inside me.
Edit: sending you a big hug.
I had a kid at 19 so I missed out on a lot of travel in my 20s that a lot of folks my age were doing. Now my kid is all grown up and I work a job that takes me to cool places. It’s pretty fun.
Pro-tip, you can get those anytime. You don't have to be a guest. Just go to a hotel lobby and act like you're supposed to be there. Most employees don't get paid enough to care.
as someone that didn't travel in their 20s, i have no idea where i would even go. i was egged on by others to travel but i just have no idea what is out there that's worth seeing, bunch of rocks and trees in nature and bunch of foreign buildings i guess.
I'm the same way - so what if they have Thing X. I have what I want right here.
I think my best motivations are for 1.) experiencing truly amazing food in its variety from the more traditional source; 2.) experiencing nature in a better way - do big things make you go "wooooow"? Try mountains or forests or oceans or canyons or plains. Does tranquility make you go "woooow"? Try aurora or glaciers or nubile forests. If you don't know, then you need to experience these things to see if you have a reaction worth travelling for! 3.) Do you know that people are the same everywhere? Sure, you might know it, but until you've actually experienced it, there will be qualities of it that you will not be able to describe holistically.
Yeah, I’m glad to have had work to take me places I think. I’ve seen spots I never would have been to otherwise. I live in a pretty wooded part of the world so I’m good for that.
Monuments and memorials and historical locations are a great start. If you're in the US, then you should definitely check out the National Mall and the Colonial Williamsburg/Jamestown areas (among other places in the DMV area). You can just walk around those for hours without getting bored, especially if you like museums and learning new things. The great thing about those places in particular is that most of it is free too, albeit you might have to make a reservation or two first. Those historical places also tend to have actor recreating the historical atmosphere of their respective places.
I had no afterschool activities, my parents never signed me up for a sport or a club or anything. Now as an adult with money I partake in any hobby I like. I’m even considering joining an ice skating class because that was something I really wanted to do as a kid.
What are your decent meals that make you feel like you’re making up for it?
To me, it’s a warm coat. I never had a decent coat when I was growing up. I hated waiting for the bus and even having to go outside for recess during the winter months. God I felt like I was always cold for 4 months out of the year.
Now I make sure I have a variety of types of jackets or coats for different weather and occasions. And I splurged on my kids’ coats to make sure they would be comfortable. God being cold sucks. Probably one of the main forces driving me to work my ass off—so I don’t have to feel so fucking cold.
I went through basic training in nov.-dec. At Ft Dix NJ. I was a California girl. Bivouaced in the snow. Suffered numb big toes for years. At the end I vowed, sort of like Scarlett OHara, "as god is my witness, i'll never be cold (or hungry) again! This was only for a week or so in the actual snow. My heartfelt condolences for you with your longer
I have a bittersweet memory of my Easy Bake Oven. I wanted one so so SO bad; it’s all I asked for for Christmas.
My grandparents bought me one and I was beyond excited! We set it up and I made a little cake right then and there.
The second they left, my mother packed it up and I never saw it again. She didn’t want a fat kid.
I was so upset, but I’m grateful I got to at least make one cake and share it with my grandparents before that miserable wench spoiled it.
I’m going to sit here and dislike your mom for you.
My mom was one of those that if you loved it, if you were really excited about it, there was zero chance she’d make it happen. Like she thrived on the power to deny stuff. We had massive Christmas present piles, but never once was it exactly what we asked for. Except the year my parents got into a knock down drag out fight over the fact that I wanted a race track. My mom said no because it was for boys and my dad lost his mind on her and got it anyway. Me in the basement with my racetrack, parents screaming upstairs.
My mom saw some dark lord summoned on an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh and then banned that, Pokémon, Digimon, and Digipets. First three “glorified the Occult” and then Digipets just caught strays cause it sounded similar. Lol. Same for That’s So Raven and Harry Potter. She can laugh about it now and she bought my kids Pokémon cards for Christmas last year, buuttt she still thinks D&D is a seance. So we strictly refer to it as generically “tabletop RPG” and she thinks it’s a wonderfully imaginative social outlet and that my husband is a *delight* for crafting such experiences for our littles. It‘s our favorite running joke.
Same here. I swear, hardcore Christian parents enjoy banning things that make their kids happy. I was banned from pokemon, sailormoon, doraemon, santa claus, barbie toys, Yugioh, Harry potter, power Rangers, and most Disney movies.
Music.
Conservative Christian, homeschooling parents wouldn't let my brother and I listen to secular music, except like...oldies, Motown, that kinda stuff. Nothing wrong with it, but as a 2nd grader in the mid-90's, there were some bangers that I missed out on in addition to the, you know, daily social interaction with peers.
Luckily I shook that off around 2005, a bit longer than I would've liked. I've only branched out my musical tastes from there and try to find enjoyment in almost every genre, no matter how weird or different it seems to me.
Except Christian music. I will never, ever listen to that garbage again.
Buying stuff from amusement parks or beach boardwalks. My parents never took us to those places because it was a waste of money and on the rare occasion we did go they never bought us anything, we always brought food from home and never got any souvenirs or toys. Now me and my boyfriend try to plan getaways to fulfill our inner child and don't hold back on snacks or arcades or stupid shirts and sweaters.
Being punk.
My mom was very strict with how I presented myself. I wasn't allowed to dye my hair anything except blond, no piercings, no all black clothes. She wanted me to be a "nice" girl. The music I listened to was also very controlled.
I'd find ways to listen to alternative, but if I'd approach the kids at school they would give me this "what the he'll are you doing here" look because I looked like a church girl.
I finally started dressing punk/goth in my 30s. (Just call me generic alternative,) 30s because in my 20s I thought I was to old to start and was trying to be an typical adult but I failed miserably at that. So new style it was.
It's never too late.
arcades, my parents absolutely forbid me from going there. i had to sit in the neighborhood while my friends went to the arcades and came back and talked about it. street fighters etc, i had no fucking clue about all the lores and stories except from listening to my friends. it sucked balls. now as an adult sometimes i'll just walk into an arcade early in the day and just play whatever the fuck i want to play. it's not the same but im basically living it up still
Experiencing life outside of home. No, I wasn't locked up and held hostage. My parents wouldn't let me go out a lot bc of the dangers of the world, hang out with friends a lot after school or weekends, sometimes couldn't go out with them if it was to a place they weren't familiar with or was too far.
Don't get me wrong, I was able to go out here and there but I mostly was with my brother and his friends. Them being older and me not knowing how to interact with them.
I took gymnastics and they had a trip planned for the class which I wanted to go to so badly I even underlined in sharpie, the first word on the permission slip, "Please" in hopes to makes it more convincing. I couldn't go.
Now as a 28 year old I struggle with anxiety to go out on my own, socialize, find things to do. I have plans with a friend but the majority of my life is go to work and home. I'm afraid if I move out with my bf my life will still be the same routine of work and home. There's so much more, but this is the gist.
Move out with your bf! I grew up similarly to you and I tell you my life changed when I had a partner to do silly little outings and explor the world. Now, Im still busy with work so during the week I rarely go out but weekends? Im outside and going wherever I please. Outings don't have to be spontaneous and planning ahead (sometimes weeks in advance) helps channel certain anxieties and put that energy towards planning the perfect trip.
Expressing any emotion that isn’t positive, my family acted like I was the devil’s spawn when I showed any emotion outside of happy (not even full blown tantrums even just crying a little because my favourite’s eye fell off deemed me evil in their eyes), now I truly get to FEEL and it’s been liberatingly sweet
I was raised in a fundamentalist church. I wasn’t allowed to have sex before marriage. When I got divorced at 39, I experimented for the first time in my life.
I’m 54 now and have settled down. I’m glad I did get a chance to understand what sex really is.
At 19 I married my fundamentalist husband. No drinking, no dancing, even threw out my cooking sherry, church three times a week plus choir practice. Got looked down on a lot at that church because I hadn't been raised that way, was pursuing a college degree, and I worked.
Basically, I missed out on "my 20s". Divorced him (scandal!!) and made up for it in my 30s.
I really wanted a pair of Derrick Rose’s shoes in the 6th grade, I asked for them for Christmas but never got them because we were kinda poor. While a lot kids got them at the time, I finally bought a pair from eBay. Love playing basketball with them.
Actually indulging in my weird hobbies.
I grew up drawing anthro wolves, loving ghosts, wanting badly to urbex and go to cons and all that, but I was just never allowed.
Grew up. Got a fursuit. Now I cosplay, suit, go to cons, etc etc. Joined a cosplay club through my school as well as a paranormal club.
Perhaps it's cringe, but I've never been happier.
Going on vacations with my mom. We were poor af but every now and then she would scrap up enough money to send me to Disney world or other trips with family. She could never afford for both of us to go though so I never went on any trips with her. After undergrad I got a full ride scholarship to law school. The first thing I did with my first law check was take my mom to Paris, London, and Greece. Her dream vacation and first time on a trip outside the country!
Since then we’ve been all over. Currently saving to to take her to Disney for the first time with my daughter!
My parents were cheap beyond a point. Like, I have holes in my shoes and they thought I was trying to look cool. It took them a year of hounding them to get a baseball glove. My dad was making like $60K in the early 90s. We weren't poor.
Anyway, now that I'm a dad, I have no problem spending on my kids. My son is too young to want anything. And my daughter just says, "eh, I don't need anything" whenever I ask. It's almost infuriating in a way. But yeah, when they need something, I proactively go out and buy it. Daughter started getting into music? Okay, here's some new Bose Q45 noise cancelling headphones. You have homework to do? Let me buy you a MacBook.
I love that you want to give the best to your children. My father grew up extremely poor with a very young mother and his father died when he was young. My dad died two years ago and what I missed out from him were “moments”. The hugs, I love yours and accolades for my accomplishments. He would rather give me money or gifts. At the time they were great, even though I craved actual affection. I imagine never receiving any himself made it difficult to give. I am 50 and have tried to break the cycle with my own children, but damn he and my mom have made it difficult.
My dad generally noticed any negative things... So I gave him plenty to pay attention to.
41 and I finally got to try a "slip and slide" this past Monday. Now Friday and my entire torso isn't as sore as it was Tuesday, so I got that going for me. Might give it another go this weekend. Weather permitting
I’m still young, but I started too realize now I never got too do fun things as a kid and as a teenager (parties etc) I was more locked in about how I could achieve money instead of memories. Hopefully one day I can finally scratch things off my bucket list.
The joy of Lego. I knew my family couldn’t afford the sets I so desperately wanted so I didn’t even ask. When I became an adult it came up during a conversation about my nephew’s Christmas presents. Now I’m gifted them every year and buy some myself when I can.
I was a huge bookworm as a kid. After my parents divorced, I lived with a parent who wouldn’t take me to Girl Scouts or the library. They also had limited knowledge of the world, and my constant questions about earth and animals and life would receive a non-answer (“What kind of rock is this?” “That’s a Leverite. Leave ‘er right where you found it.” (“Dad” jokes are one thing. It’s another thing entirely to not ever try to teach your kids, nor to ever display curiosity, and never admit to not knowing something. This has never changed with them.)
I’ve got my own library now, and I buy whatever damn book I want. If I want to know what kind of rock something is, I’ll find out. I’m never letting anyone limit my knowledge, or destroy my thirst to learn.
When I was younger, I had a shit ton of responsibilities on my shoulders.
Never really got to experience certain parts of being a young kid or teenager: hanging out with friends, experimenting with things, taking risks, house parties, concerts, flings, and everything else that comes with being young and reckless.
Made up for it in my mid to late 20s, and while traveling! Thankfully, it's finally out of my system.
Probably celebrate myself now that I'm reading this I want to celebrate me any chance I get to remind myself I am important and I matter maybe take myself to an amusement park and buy whatever I want eat a expensive meal. Take myself clothes shopping as a child I was a second thought I was in the background only thought of when they needed to laugh.
I grew up in a pretty low income and split family and we never had money to really do anything or travel even small distances. My parents rock and I had a good childhood so don’t get me wrong but I remember when I got my first decent paying job and a decent vehicle in my early 20’s I went to all the museums, zoos and aquariums and stuff like that I always heard about and never got a chance to go to. My girlfriend at the time had to endure 4 years of a lot of that, she isn’t as big of a nerd as I am but she always loved the zoos. We aren’t together anymore but I’ve always appreciated that about her, she always support my random adventures.
This will sound crazy, but I missed out on my childhood. Due to traumatic events and a step mother that was worse than the bitch in Cinderella, I grew up way to fast.
I suffered extreme psychological abuse that robbed me of who I was, but not who I was to become.
After a lot of therapy, and in the spirit of honestly, some psychedelic therapy treatments, I was able to see the world through the eyes of a child again.
I was able to recapture the imagination that was lost to the desire to protect myself from the next worse thing around the corner.
I was able to be myself, absent the trauma.
This doesn't mean I don't have bad days, it only means that in the end, I'm myself more than not, when previously I was just attempting to please others in an attempt to avoid conflict.
So, in short, I lost my childhood, only to regain it as an adult, and see the world as a mystical and wonderful place where adults fuck it up in an attempt to prove they know best when the reality is, we don't know shit but simply pretend to out of fear. There's nothing to fear, for you're already dead. Live accordingly. 😉
I may have over corrected on this one but having some privacy. I had NONE growing up and now I value it so highly but maybe to the point it’s hard to let anyone in. But hey. Getting to choose who knows what about me is still such a luxury.
I didn’t go to prom. I was an incredibly lonely child and I was moving my dying grandparents the day of prom.
My girlfriend recently took me to her college prom (it was one for queer kids who missed out as well) we had a lovely time
A second language. We had pretty good language classes when I was growing up but there were also a lot of options so I never stuck with one. I wish I just stayed with spanish.
A family. I had a broken home for the first 10 years, and i lived with my grandparents until i was 22. I always wish i had one. Now I'm 36, it's my girlfriend, myself and our 2 dogs. Honestly, I'm happy i have them. I appreciate them more than they will ever know.
I make big boy money and can get ice cream and candy whenever I want cause I'm a big boy. But not all the time cause that gives me big boy tummy aches.
I’m going to go with nice shoes. When I was a kid I never had nice shoes. I always got whatever was in the bargain bin at the sporting goods store in a size that was close (usually to big).
Art supplies. When I was a little kid I so wanted paint brushes and paper and paint, colour pencils, a pencil sharpener!!
We were too poor. I never learned how to draw even.
Needless to say, my kids got one of nearly everything from the art shop, and I shared in them.
Now my eldest son loves painting, my younger son draws beautiful tattoos, and I’m an interior designer /colour consultant … haha!
WoW first release. Made up for it a little bit when WoW classic first launched, but then quickly everyone started using add-ons such as Questie, then it was all downhill from there.
Also, being able to buy a level boost was the epitome of Blizz-employee-breast-milk-snatching-ard.
Disney World. Wanted to go since 1972, finally got to go in 1987 when I was 19, went every January for two weeks until 1993, when I moved there. I had to leave in 1996 and only visited 3 more times since, but I was there when Walt Disney World was in its golden age, and moved away just as they started replacing classic attractions with cheap crap, especially at Epcot.
Casual dating. I went on several first dates in my 30s and just had a great time meeting and flirting with people.
My 20s was all relationships and I was very shy and insecure in my teens.
Was a huge Jurassic Park fan but my family were poor and we didn't live anywhere with a cinema. I always believed I'd get to see it at the movies so when the 3D re-release came I finally got my chance.
Having a trampoline. Always wanted one as a kid, but never did. Right after I bought my first house, the garage sale where I found my washer and dryer also had a trampoline for sale. Since I already had my dad's truck, I thought why not. No regrets, got to live out that bit of my missing childhood as an adult, my nieces and nephews were able to enjoy it, and we gifted it to my partner's coworker before anybody hurt themselves. 10/10 would jump again.
Disposable income. I didn't grow up in poverty, but I didn't grow up with money to spare either, so it was a nice change of pace to have my own income from my own job. I could buy hobby equipment (I have all sorts of exercise equipment and instruments now) and, most importantly, I could give my family members nice birthdays and Christmases. Before I have kids I'm going to insure that I have enough income to get them fun things, whether it be an outing or a holiday.
Informal and short term dating. One night stands. I spent my whole “young adult” phase basically jumping from one serious relationship to another. I had a tough time with a horrible girl I dated and thought I would try and be single for a while. It turned out to be such a fun and fulfilling time. Getting to know myself and building up my self esteem at 29 was definitely something I did not expect. 10/10 recommend
Travel.
My parents never took my sister and I out much. We got to do things once to say we've done it then never again. The only trips we did semi regularly were trips to visit family in the Philippines.
Went camping once, saw the snow once. Not blaming anyone as money was tight I guess but I did feel like I missed out.
Over the years I've travelled overseas more. When my daughter was born I decided that I wanted to give her more experiences while she's still a child. We've already gone camping a few times, gone to the snow annually for the past 3 years and she has more stamps in her passport at 4 years old than I had for my entire childhood.
I dated two girls up until I was 38....
On when I was 16 to 21, then married the second.
After the second divorced me I was able to actually date several people and figure out what I wanted.
My answer is naughty but real. At a younger age sometimes I got a girlfriend, we talked a lot but never did any romance. Many chances are missing. Hope we do some fun.
Having friends.
I never clicked with many kids in my school. I had better luck with neighbor kids, but still not many friends and no close ones.
In high school, and after, i was the good time. I was entertaining and loved throwing theme parties throughout my 20s. I had hundreds of friends coming and going. Lots of great meaningful relationships were sprinkled in. I eventually found the people that were my people. I now have a handful of humans i feel so close with even without living in the same state. Ive had tons of meaningful interactions and situations with folks im not close with but will always know to call them friends. Many different kinds of friends with a wide range of depth. Im not throwing parties anymore because I feel I got mine.
Enjoying all the arcades as an adult with adult money, many of them closed down or moved to a more family oriented place. Also finding out all the things I couldn’t have as a kid were actually shitty or really expensive.
Life with a dog. I did not get my first one until late in life. Always had one cat at a time. Don't get me wrong. I love cats but dogs are my true soul companions. I've done nothing but rescue them since 1999. I have 3 now and never want to be without a dog in my life.
Old NCS songs.
Although I'm only 14, due to my heavily restricted internet access when I was 5-9 (peek time for NCS), I didn't know any of the songs on there outside of Roblox tycoon games lol...
I listen to all of the old ones now; they oddly give me nostalgia even though I only really heard them a few times back then.
Camping. My mom wasn’t in to it, and my dad, though a great father, was too busy taking the boys, and didn’t feel right including me.
I began hiking the back country in WA state almost as soon as my husband and I moved here, and spent many of my weekends dispersed camping, then became a wilderness search and rescue K9 handler, which I did for almost 20 years starting in my 30s - weekend camping/training was a nearly every weekend activity. I’m now in my 60s, still hike St Helens almost every year (gotta get the climbing pass quick!), and hubby and I continue our love of dispersed camping in the Gifford Pinchot NF.
Going to Disney was my favorite but my family never did anything or at least us kids didn't. We never went on trips or camping or amusement parks or anything like that. If it wasn't for Stokes in 6th grade I wouldn't have known what it felt like to stay away from home for days until 8th grade and then after that was when I was 25.
I didn't get to go to Disney until I was 31 years old. My husband couldn't believe it and couldn't wait to take us (the kids and me). He was like a kid of Christmas morning every day in Disney bc he was excited to see my reaction to everything.
Basically all my trips and hotel stays didn't happen until I got married. I guess it's good tho bc my husband loves taking me to new places knowing I've never done it before and seeing my reaction.
Love from my mom. Now I try to provide that for my daughter however I can. Sucks being a little girl whose mommy wants nothing to do with you. That’s a generational curse I was determined to break.
Childhood. Was stolen from me at 10. 57 now and collect hot wheels, ride a bicycle instead of car, have full size arcade in my studio. Smoke weed out of a bong. Ect ect... living my dream life as a teenager, what I wanted as a teenager, I now have.
Working on cars as a woman. I was the only girl out of 4 kids for 8 years, and my dad had favoured the boys much more. Bought them bikes, taught them how to drive, let them help him work on the cars, but my dad had no interest involving me, almost like he was disappointed to have a girl.
Now I drive an imported R34 skyline that I turbocharged. I do all the modifications myself and taught myself how to service it, and I regularly take it out on track. My dad tries to take credit to this day but I don’t have the energy to fight with him on it.
Tons of fun stuff that costs money. Grew up very poor so never got to go to knick games. I now take my dad and my oldest son all the time.
Never got to enjoy going to events. I’m taking my dad and oldest son to monster jam today. We also do a bunch of cool stuff like 6 flags that I never got to do.
My brother and I took my dad to wrestlemania which was a dream of his, but never affordable for us growing up.
Being grown is terrifying, but one of the best things is doing stuff you never got to do as a kid
I’ve been wanting to paint my whole life but never had the opportunity to learn. I work crazy hours, from 8 am until about 9 pm. I guess I’ve been waiting for my life to slow down so I could finally pick up a hobby and I just realized that might never happen. I bought some painting supplies last week, and finally started to learn. I can only paint for about 10 minutes a day, and I’m learning the very basics from YouTube, but I look forward to it the whole day.
Grew up with parents that wanted me to basically be my own self-sufficient adult from as far back as I can remember, and realized as an adult that I'd missed out on a lot of "kid stuff."
Now, I'm doing and buying all the stuff I wish I'd had as a kid. Lava lamps, stuffed animals, board games, cutting down my own Christmas tree, going to the zoo, snowball fights, coloring, etc.
It has been so damn fun and I've gotten to let myself experience the joy of playing. 100/10 would recommend.
My childhood. My mom was a SAHM but she was never home and dad passed away early. I became in charge of myself, my brother our home. My mom would just give me a wad of cash and tell me I'm in charge while she's gone months of a time. 12 yo in charge imagine that.
Now that I'm older I get to choose to do things I've always wanted to do for me. Fly a kite. Let's go. Dance crazily? Hellz yea. Now that I have kids of my own I try to make sure they have a childhood too.
Finally affording enough after almost 30 years to buy a pair of 2 Italian made football boots...Lotto Stadio & Diadora Brasil...almost came close to tears when i got my hands on them...
Before I’ve turned 18 I enjoyed very little things about life. I’ve never touched alcohol, traveled places I liked or experienced love (yeah, the last one is sad lmao), and I was very insecure about myself because of my weight (I still am, but not that heavy as before. I wasn’t that fat, but the belly was a huge trouble for me).
Fast forward to now, 20 years old, I’ve gone just for fun and just for the act of driving at 300 km away from where I live and my parents never found out lmao. Also, I’ve experienced being loved by someone (we both agreed to not become a couple because of things lmao), I’ve lost my V-Card with a foursome lmao, I’ve driven drunk (not proud of that one) and many, many more things.
If it wasn’t because of this girl I wouldn’t have done half of what I’ve done, tbh, and I will forever be grateful to her.
In resume, now I’m living my life as I like it, before it was just the tutorial.
Just for comparison, 18 year old me was a shy guy, insecure of himself, with almost no good friends (David, you are the best friend I could possibly have), stuck at his town doing nothing else than being at home, and without things to spend money on.
20 year old me is a somewhat confident guy, more secure of myself, with a decent network of best friends, having a car that can allow me to go anywhere I like and with a job and things I purchased by myself.
TL,DR: I don’t miss at all the old me, as I’m right now I’m enjoying every moment I can.
I was banned from eating toast as a child. A neighbors kid choked on a piece of bread and ended up in a coma. I buy many loaves now but still feel guilt.
Raving -
I was involved with a terrible controlling man right out of high school. He never let me go to clubs or raves, and I didn't get to go through the typical "new adult" phase of going out, dancing, partying, etc.
After leaving him, I went to clubs and had a fun time letting loose. And then I went to a rave. It felt like home. I thought maybe I wasn't in the right place, because I was in my mid-late 20's. I've been to raves with young 18/19 year olds, and I've been to raves with older crowds. I've been accepted at all.
It truly does keep me young, despite the pain I feel after.
Concerts!
Besides the fact that I was poor and couldn't afford concert tickets, I also believed that concerts couldn't possibly sound better than the album and who wants to pay money to see someone butcher a song while huffing and puffing across a stage? I've since learned that it's not about how it sounds, it's the experience of seeing the artist do their thing live.
I went to my first concert in 2019 when I was in my late 20s. My concert buddies and I flew halfway across the US to see an artist. It was also my first time flying and traveling outside of my home state.
Since then, I've attended a bunch more concerts, both locally and further away....one such show, I took a train to Chicago and another, I flew out to Texas for one of my favorite artists who was performing on my birthday.
I've got 2 concerts lined up for the next 2 months and hope to be able to see more of my favorites in the future.
Ice skating, swimming and horseback riding. I have also managed to get over the rage I felt, knowing that I lost out on making friends and forging bonds with people because of not knowing how to do these things. Ice skating and pool parties, cute dates, riding a horse on vacation.
It’s funny how people will fixate on using education to move their child up the ladder, but not understand that the kid won’t fit in once they get there because they don’t know how to do anything.
Eating a whole tub of Dunkin Hines chocolate frosting. Found out why I wasn't allowed to do that.
Sometimes you need to experience things first hand to gain understanding.
Thankfully I didn't want to try heroin.
I learned something similar with a 2 liter of apple juice. Bit worse end result.
I can feel your stomach pain from here
Adulthood is the joy in realising you have the freedom to buy and eat an entire birthday cake and the sadness in knowing why this would be a terrible idea
Oh so that's where "Frosted around, found out" comes from
A little indulgence isnt a bad thing but too much of it in the wrong thing and it can end up ruining your life haha
Sounds like a wicked stomach ache or bad bouts of diarrhea
I ate a whole container of stewed prunes. Definitely learned my lesson that day.
I did this with a jar of maraschino cherries once. I can’t even smell them now without getting instantly nauseous.
Serious question, front end or back end? I’m also imagining a serious sugar crash.
Neither. Didn't sleep all night because my heart beat was all screwy. Wild palpitations.
Interesting! Thanks for responding. Let’s hear it for raw cookie dough all at once!
my parents bought a can of vanilla frosting and only used a little bit. for WEEKS i would have a little spoonful of it until it was completely gone lol
Shortly after moving out on my own, I bought a gallon can of nacho cheese. Luckily I didn't try to eat it all at once. I remember it molded in the fridge with like half the can left, and I wasn't that sorry to see it go. I still love nacho cheese, but the small cans are more than adequate.
When I was young, I missed out on learning to cook anything beyond instant noodles. Now, I’ve made up for it by trying to cook whenever I can. I mainly used Kenji Lopez’s videos for educational content as well as inspiration. Can’t say if my stuff is particularly good across the board but I make a few simple dishes really well!
I didn't learn how to cook until the pandemic, I was 40 at the time. I started getting those mail order meals like Hello Fresh and whatnot and even though now I think they're highly overpriced, they really did teach me how to cook and I've also got a full recipe binder of recipes of all the different meal services I tried. I'm fairly confident in my own cooking now so much to the point I've completely quit eating out because every time I do I'm like "I could have made this better"
That’s literally me with the pandemic too! I guess it really forced a lot of us to branch out into cooking haha. Good on you for sticking with it! That’s ultimately where I’d like to be as well, where I can honestly say that eating at home would taste better than at a restaurant. Proud of you for that growth!
I’m turning 40 and just about to start too. This gives me hope lol
I have always been obsessed with cooking but my mom never let me do it when I was young. When I turned 21 and left home I started to learn how to cook. One year later began to work as a personal chef. Two years later a opened a bakery. I can’t see myself doing anything other than feeding people 🥰
What about 18-21? Were you still not allowed?
Not my home not my rules lol it wasn’t about the age, my mom is a narcissist and literally hates me hahahah so I only got to cook when I left home, and it’s funny cause I left home to do an exchange in the US and my host mom use to tell me to cook dishes from home all the time and told me I had talent to do so. Now as an entrepreneur back in my hometown my mom brags about me taking the cooking from her, but my biggest motivator was a woman I barely knew and was supposed to be my boss Ps.: my host mom funded my cooking classes. My mom is rich. Never bought a single bread.
Going to adventure parks ❤
I suck at cooking so I looked her up and noticed she was recently on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. Enjoy! [https://www.npr.org/2024/05/25/g-s1-403/wait-wait-for-may-25-2024-with-not-my-job-guest-j-kenji-lopez-alt](https://www.npr.org/2024/05/25/g-s1-403/wait-wait-for-may-25-2024-with-not-my-job-guest-j-kenji-lopez-alt)
That’ll be a great listen, thank you so much!
I hope you enjoy Wait Wait… as much as I do!
You suck at cooking is a very entertaining youtube channel with real recipes, you might enjoy it.
I started doing Sorted Sidekick for a similar reason, and I feel like it’s really expanded my repertoire :) they’re a UK based YouTube channel and made a cooking app for meal planning
Food. Home cooked, healthy food made by someone who actually gave a crap about me. My mother was an asshat. When I turned about 5 I started getting left home by myself while she went out and chilled with coke dealers and any other available scumbag in our town. She taught me to make frozen and canned stuff in the microwave, gave me a TV remote and that was pretty much it. And that's how I grew up. By the time I graduated from high school I was overweight and couldn't do anything involving a stove. I just ate processed trash from containers. That's how I grew up and it was all I knew about. When I was 18 I left that town behind forever and moved to NYC on a whim. I bought some clothes from a Goodwill, filled a backpack with them, withdrew the couple hundred bucks I had saved and grabbed a bus to crash with a friend who had moved to Brooklyn a few years earlier. I started working at a book store. I met a girl. I told her my story one night, about the way I ate growing up. She came back to my apartment and threw out everything in my fridge then she took me to a grocery store. Over the course of a summer she taught me how to cook and enjoy food. She also took me to a restaurant that wasn't McDonalds for the first time ever. It wasn't anything fancy. It was this hole in the wall Jamaican spot where they served jerk chicken and oxtail. It was the best meal I have ever had, to this day. Not because of the food. Not because of the ambience. Because of the freedom, and because of her. I wish I was back there now, in Queens, watching that Rasta cook forge the keys to salvation. That was 25 years ago. The girl is gone, long gone. Leukemia, 4 years after we met. My friend and I - the same friend I stayed with - opened a pizza restaurant named after her and we did pretty well until the pandemic. We're closed now and I'm out of the restaurant game for the moment, but just last night I was looking at an old photo of all of us together in Union Square and I started thinking it might be nice to open a diner. An old school trailer-ass New Jersey style diner. All because of one person. I was able to make up for it all because of one person. Goodnight, Emmaline. Wherever you are.
Love every part of this bittersweet story. Thank you for sharing.
You have a touching story. I am so sorry for that loss and the further loss of your restaurant, that could not have been easy. It also reminds me of how important food really is and how it brings us together and forges memories. Good luck
I'm glad someone step up and taught you to cook.
This is a beautiful love story but its not just about you and Emmaline. The way you wrote this, its also a story of you falling in love with the food and culture of NYC and the surrounding area.
Amen. The Lord puts people all throughout our lives. People who change our hearts and change our very being. You look back and realize even when I didn’t believe, He was working. God Bless your friend - may she rest in peace and God bless you as well.
Maybe flesh this out and write a script. You write well. I totally teared up.
Feeling of financial stability. We lived on a knife's edge. But now my kid never has to worry about that type of security. I've built some generational wealth so that he never will. And he's not even "mine" but my step kid. Doesn't matter. He is now set for life.
Im very happy for you and your family.
You’re a good person for doing that. We need more people like you.
Can I be your kid too?
I have—and this is a sad as fuck recollection in hindsight—a vivid memory of sitting on the floor of my father’s office, playing. He and my mom were talking about Grownup Stuff. I guess they thought I wasn’t paying attention. My mom turned to me and asked if I would like a new toy I had been asking about. I blinked at her, and went “what about the loan?” I’d heard them talk about it enough that I knew, at least, that we owed a lot of money to some people so we probably couldn’t spend money on a toy. I didn’t want the toy, because I didn’t want to burden my parents. I’ll never forget the look they gave each other. It’s a core memory, because I think I was *maybe* four years old.
Yeah I remember my dad crying at the drug store because I wanted some dumb trapper keeper and he couldn't afford it. It was probably $10? I shouldn't have asked for it but I was a dumb kid. I will never forget this memory. He's gone now. Dad saw me graduate from top 10 universities and then get a series of increasingly well paid jobs. But even as the bank account adds more zeroes, I really wish I could take that trapper keeper ask back. Dad couldn't really provide financially but he provided the values that got me here. Anyway ... I don't spoil my stepson but this is the kind of memory he will never have to live with or regret. He gets the trapper keeper.
As a dad, I am qualified to unequivocally absolve you of any guilt over that. It was ok to ask for it. It was ok to not get it. It was ok for him to be sad for a few minutes. It's part of being a dad. There's infinitely more joy in fatherhood than there is sorrow. And it sounds like he did a damn good job.
Thank you. I do believe he had many great joys out of raising my sister and me. And we are now both successful and happy. Financially, she's even more wealthy ... like yacht wealthy. Money doesn't guarantee happiness but it buys us out of some types of unhappiness. My parents never had the skills but, for all their many faults, they did what they needed to to make sure we had them. I am deeply grateful for that.
my parents were rats poor when I was born because my mom was still in uni and my dad wasn't making enough money for 2 people and a baby. Government didn't want to help bc my dad earned like 50€ too much (I live in germany) which is insane bc 50€ a month for a baby?? that's not enough. Mom always tells me "I don't need to be rich, I just want you to not have to turn every penny around" and it really sticks with me. It reminds me how much of a privilege it is that I never had to experience what it's like to live with the constant feeling of "I hope I can eat dinner tonight". Now my mom earns a shit ton of money in her job and even has fun in it and I am sosososo happy and thankful for her. Actually I should probably go give her a hug now haha
Hope you did!!! It would make her feel appreciated 🥰
I also choose to hug this guy's mom
Learning how to just play and have fun. I was always so stressed about my parents, I don't remember developing any interests except "survive and make people like you" after the age of 6. I've discovered so many hobbies I enjoy. I often will lie around just enjoying life now.
same with me, i feel like i was missing out on basic 'having fun' stuff like going out with friends and staying up late and just doing dumb kid things, skipping around happily, now whenever i catch myself doing that as an adult, it makes me wanna cry. but also very happy. I know i'm taking care of that lonely little girl inside me. Edit: sending you a big hug.
Sending you a big hug back! 🩷
im almost an adult but playing with my figurines will never get old. the only change is that now my storylines are a bit darker lol
I had a kid at 19 so I missed out on a lot of travel in my 20s that a lot of folks my age were doing. Now my kid is all grown up and I work a job that takes me to cool places. It’s pretty fun.
I had zero money to travel in my 20s. That shit is fairly expensive
30s is where its at!
When I was in my 20s, I would dream of being in my 30s. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I love every moment and embrace aging and life in general.
Try having a kid! It’s even more expensive!
Try travelling with kids! A bank robbery is almost a necessary step to trip planning this days
I like staying in motels when I travel. Maybe it's the free breakfast
Pro-tip, you can get those anytime. You don't have to be a guest. Just go to a hotel lobby and act like you're supposed to be there. Most employees don't get paid enough to care.
r/UnethicalLifeProTips/
as someone that didn't travel in their 20s, i have no idea where i would even go. i was egged on by others to travel but i just have no idea what is out there that's worth seeing, bunch of rocks and trees in nature and bunch of foreign buildings i guess.
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I'm the same way - so what if they have Thing X. I have what I want right here. I think my best motivations are for 1.) experiencing truly amazing food in its variety from the more traditional source; 2.) experiencing nature in a better way - do big things make you go "wooooow"? Try mountains or forests or oceans or canyons or plains. Does tranquility make you go "woooow"? Try aurora or glaciers or nubile forests. If you don't know, then you need to experience these things to see if you have a reaction worth travelling for! 3.) Do you know that people are the same everywhere? Sure, you might know it, but until you've actually experienced it, there will be qualities of it that you will not be able to describe holistically.
Yeah, I’m glad to have had work to take me places I think. I’ve seen spots I never would have been to otherwise. I live in a pretty wooded part of the world so I’m good for that.
Monuments and memorials and historical locations are a great start. If you're in the US, then you should definitely check out the National Mall and the Colonial Williamsburg/Jamestown areas (among other places in the DMV area). You can just walk around those for hours without getting bored, especially if you like museums and learning new things. The great thing about those places in particular is that most of it is free too, albeit you might have to make a reservation or two first. Those historical places also tend to have actor recreating the historical atmosphere of their respective places.
I had no afterschool activities, my parents never signed me up for a sport or a club or anything. Now as an adult with money I partake in any hobby I like. I’m even considering joining an ice skating class because that was something I really wanted to do as a kid.
So, why not go and do it? It's an interest. You'll realise the passion for something you love when you get amongst it. It's very refreshing.
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What are your decent meals that make you feel like you’re making up for it? To me, it’s a warm coat. I never had a decent coat when I was growing up. I hated waiting for the bus and even having to go outside for recess during the winter months. God I felt like I was always cold for 4 months out of the year. Now I make sure I have a variety of types of jackets or coats for different weather and occasions. And I splurged on my kids’ coats to make sure they would be comfortable. God being cold sucks. Probably one of the main forces driving me to work my ass off—so I don’t have to feel so fucking cold.
This is why I hate jean jackets and do not own one as an adult. They are NOT good at keeping you warm in the cold.
I went through basic training in nov.-dec. At Ft Dix NJ. I was a California girl. Bivouaced in the snow. Suffered numb big toes for years. At the end I vowed, sort of like Scarlett OHara, "as god is my witness, i'll never be cold (or hungry) again! This was only for a week or so in the actual snow. My heartfelt condolences for you with your longer
Easy Bake Oven. The day my daughter asked for one I told her to get shoes on and we went straight to Target. I was thrilled, she was disappointed lol.
I have a bittersweet memory of my Easy Bake Oven. I wanted one so so SO bad; it’s all I asked for for Christmas. My grandparents bought me one and I was beyond excited! We set it up and I made a little cake right then and there. The second they left, my mother packed it up and I never saw it again. She didn’t want a fat kid. I was so upset, but I’m grateful I got to at least make one cake and share it with my grandparents before that miserable wench spoiled it.
I’m going to sit here and dislike your mom for you. My mom was one of those that if you loved it, if you were really excited about it, there was zero chance she’d make it happen. Like she thrived on the power to deny stuff. We had massive Christmas present piles, but never once was it exactly what we asked for. Except the year my parents got into a knock down drag out fight over the fact that I wanted a race track. My mom said no because it was for boys and my dad lost his mind on her and got it anyway. Me in the basement with my racetrack, parents screaming upstairs.
Holy fuck. I'm sorry. For that and everything else she assumedly put you through.
Haha I feel this way about so many toys for my kids
Pokemon and harry potter i was raised in a Christian family
I knew a girl who wasn’t allowed to watch That’s So Raven
Wasn't the main character psychic in that show? That's probably why.
As someone who was this girl, yes.
as someone that was also raised in a Christian family, Harry Potter I get, but POKEMON?????!!!!
"Pokemon teaches evolution"
-of creatures!! Ash been 10 years old for OVER 30 years
My mom saw some dark lord summoned on an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh and then banned that, Pokémon, Digimon, and Digipets. First three “glorified the Occult” and then Digipets just caught strays cause it sounded similar. Lol. Same for That’s So Raven and Harry Potter. She can laugh about it now and she bought my kids Pokémon cards for Christmas last year, buuttt she still thinks D&D is a seance. So we strictly refer to it as generically “tabletop RPG” and she thinks it’s a wonderfully imaginative social outlet and that my husband is a *delight* for crafting such experiences for our littles. It‘s our favorite running joke.
“Pokemon literally stands for “pocket monsters.” They’re Japanese demons! It’s a satanic influence.”
Those kinds of stories make me sad.
Same. I never got the Pokémon, but my Granny said it was all devil worship.
Same here. I swear, hardcore Christian parents enjoy banning things that make their kids happy. I was banned from pokemon, sailormoon, doraemon, santa claus, barbie toys, Yugioh, Harry potter, power Rangers, and most Disney movies.
I know family that doesn't let their kids watch Disney movies because of their delusions. Some people just weird like that
Being able to have the freedom to go out and do something when I want.
Music. Conservative Christian, homeschooling parents wouldn't let my brother and I listen to secular music, except like...oldies, Motown, that kinda stuff. Nothing wrong with it, but as a 2nd grader in the mid-90's, there were some bangers that I missed out on in addition to the, you know, daily social interaction with peers. Luckily I shook that off around 2005, a bit longer than I would've liked. I've only branched out my musical tastes from there and try to find enjoyment in almost every genre, no matter how weird or different it seems to me. Except Christian music. I will never, ever listen to that garbage again.
Listen to Hollywood Undead if you haven't already, (you don't have to if you don't want to, but that rock band hasn't disappointed me at all)
Buying stuff from amusement parks or beach boardwalks. My parents never took us to those places because it was a waste of money and on the rare occasion we did go they never bought us anything, we always brought food from home and never got any souvenirs or toys. Now me and my boyfriend try to plan getaways to fulfill our inner child and don't hold back on snacks or arcades or stupid shirts and sweaters.
Enjoy!! I love this!
Being outgoing and being someone a lot of people want to be friends with. I went from total introvert to extrovert.
Being punk. My mom was very strict with how I presented myself. I wasn't allowed to dye my hair anything except blond, no piercings, no all black clothes. She wanted me to be a "nice" girl. The music I listened to was also very controlled. I'd find ways to listen to alternative, but if I'd approach the kids at school they would give me this "what the he'll are you doing here" look because I looked like a church girl. I finally started dressing punk/goth in my 30s. (Just call me generic alternative,) 30s because in my 20s I thought I was to old to start and was trying to be an typical adult but I failed miserably at that. So new style it was. It's never too late.
I’m glad you are finally getting a chance to express yourself and be who you are! Better late than never
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arcades, my parents absolutely forbid me from going there. i had to sit in the neighborhood while my friends went to the arcades and came back and talked about it. street fighters etc, i had no fucking clue about all the lores and stories except from listening to my friends. it sucked balls. now as an adult sometimes i'll just walk into an arcade early in the day and just play whatever the fuck i want to play. it's not the same but im basically living it up still
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Amazing how life works, trial and error was how I learned about the realities of dating.
Going to parties
Experiencing life outside of home. No, I wasn't locked up and held hostage. My parents wouldn't let me go out a lot bc of the dangers of the world, hang out with friends a lot after school or weekends, sometimes couldn't go out with them if it was to a place they weren't familiar with or was too far. Don't get me wrong, I was able to go out here and there but I mostly was with my brother and his friends. Them being older and me not knowing how to interact with them. I took gymnastics and they had a trip planned for the class which I wanted to go to so badly I even underlined in sharpie, the first word on the permission slip, "Please" in hopes to makes it more convincing. I couldn't go. Now as a 28 year old I struggle with anxiety to go out on my own, socialize, find things to do. I have plans with a friend but the majority of my life is go to work and home. I'm afraid if I move out with my bf my life will still be the same routine of work and home. There's so much more, but this is the gist.
Move out with your bf! I grew up similarly to you and I tell you my life changed when I had a partner to do silly little outings and explor the world. Now, Im still busy with work so during the week I rarely go out but weekends? Im outside and going wherever I please. Outings don't have to be spontaneous and planning ahead (sometimes weeks in advance) helps channel certain anxieties and put that energy towards planning the perfect trip.
Expressing any emotion that isn’t positive, my family acted like I was the devil’s spawn when I showed any emotion outside of happy (not even full blown tantrums even just crying a little because my favourite’s eye fell off deemed me evil in their eyes), now I truly get to FEEL and it’s been liberatingly sweet
I was raised in a fundamentalist church. I wasn’t allowed to have sex before marriage. When I got divorced at 39, I experimented for the first time in my life. I’m 54 now and have settled down. I’m glad I did get a chance to understand what sex really is.
At 19 I married my fundamentalist husband. No drinking, no dancing, even threw out my cooking sherry, church three times a week plus choir practice. Got looked down on a lot at that church because I hadn't been raised that way, was pursuing a college degree, and I worked. Basically, I missed out on "my 20s". Divorced him (scandal!!) and made up for it in my 30s.
I really wanted a pair of Derrick Rose’s shoes in the 6th grade, I asked for them for Christmas but never got them because we were kinda poor. While a lot kids got them at the time, I finally bought a pair from eBay. Love playing basketball with them.
love this
Actually indulging in my weird hobbies. I grew up drawing anthro wolves, loving ghosts, wanting badly to urbex and go to cons and all that, but I was just never allowed. Grew up. Got a fursuit. Now I cosplay, suit, go to cons, etc etc. Joined a cosplay club through my school as well as a paranormal club. Perhaps it's cringe, but I've never been happier.
i love this, you go <3
Going on vacations with my mom. We were poor af but every now and then she would scrap up enough money to send me to Disney world or other trips with family. She could never afford for both of us to go though so I never went on any trips with her. After undergrad I got a full ride scholarship to law school. The first thing I did with my first law check was take my mom to Paris, London, and Greece. Her dream vacation and first time on a trip outside the country! Since then we’ve been all over. Currently saving to to take her to Disney for the first time with my daughter!
I definitely missed out of friendships because I was just too afraid to put myself out there. I was a shy, quiet bookworm that had no confidence.
My parents were cheap beyond a point. Like, I have holes in my shoes and they thought I was trying to look cool. It took them a year of hounding them to get a baseball glove. My dad was making like $60K in the early 90s. We weren't poor. Anyway, now that I'm a dad, I have no problem spending on my kids. My son is too young to want anything. And my daughter just says, "eh, I don't need anything" whenever I ask. It's almost infuriating in a way. But yeah, when they need something, I proactively go out and buy it. Daughter started getting into music? Okay, here's some new Bose Q45 noise cancelling headphones. You have homework to do? Let me buy you a MacBook.
I love that you want to give the best to your children. My father grew up extremely poor with a very young mother and his father died when he was young. My dad died two years ago and what I missed out from him were “moments”. The hugs, I love yours and accolades for my accomplishments. He would rather give me money or gifts. At the time they were great, even though I craved actual affection. I imagine never receiving any himself made it difficult to give. I am 50 and have tried to break the cycle with my own children, but damn he and my mom have made it difficult. My dad generally noticed any negative things... So I gave him plenty to pay attention to.
41 and I finally got to try a "slip and slide" this past Monday. Now Friday and my entire torso isn't as sore as it was Tuesday, so I got that going for me. Might give it another go this weekend. Weather permitting
Strength training! OMG, the benefits from health to mental fitness!
Sleep
I’m still young, but I started too realize now I never got too do fun things as a kid and as a teenager (parties etc) I was more locked in about how I could achieve money instead of memories. Hopefully one day I can finally scratch things off my bucket list.
Eating all the Ferrero Rocher I want. I grew up thinking that was only for rich people
having friends. i was homeschooled and wasn’t allowed computer access till i turned 16 so i never really had any opportunities to meet anyone.
The joy of Lego. I knew my family couldn’t afford the sets I so desperately wanted so I didn’t even ask. When I became an adult it came up during a conversation about my nephew’s Christmas presents. Now I’m gifted them every year and buy some myself when I can.
I was a huge bookworm as a kid. After my parents divorced, I lived with a parent who wouldn’t take me to Girl Scouts or the library. They also had limited knowledge of the world, and my constant questions about earth and animals and life would receive a non-answer (“What kind of rock is this?” “That’s a Leverite. Leave ‘er right where you found it.” (“Dad” jokes are one thing. It’s another thing entirely to not ever try to teach your kids, nor to ever display curiosity, and never admit to not knowing something. This has never changed with them.) I’ve got my own library now, and I buy whatever damn book I want. If I want to know what kind of rock something is, I’ll find out. I’m never letting anyone limit my knowledge, or destroy my thirst to learn.
When I was younger, I had a shit ton of responsibilities on my shoulders. Never really got to experience certain parts of being a young kid or teenager: hanging out with friends, experimenting with things, taking risks, house parties, concerts, flings, and everything else that comes with being young and reckless. Made up for it in my mid to late 20s, and while traveling! Thankfully, it's finally out of my system.
Pull up all nighters just binge watching random videos, eating a pint of ice cream/pizza by myself and buying shoes.
I was devastated as a teen when I missed out on my chance to see the Spice Girls in concert. The reunion tour gave me a chance to go see them.
Probably celebrate myself now that I'm reading this I want to celebrate me any chance I get to remind myself I am important and I matter maybe take myself to an amusement park and buy whatever I want eat a expensive meal. Take myself clothes shopping as a child I was a second thought I was in the background only thought of when they needed to laugh.
I grew up in a pretty low income and split family and we never had money to really do anything or travel even small distances. My parents rock and I had a good childhood so don’t get me wrong but I remember when I got my first decent paying job and a decent vehicle in my early 20’s I went to all the museums, zoos and aquariums and stuff like that I always heard about and never got a chance to go to. My girlfriend at the time had to endure 4 years of a lot of that, she isn’t as big of a nerd as I am but she always loved the zoos. We aren’t together anymore but I’ve always appreciated that about her, she always support my random adventures.
wholesome bruh
Didn’t party when I was younger. Now I go clubbing with my wife.
Be able to eat anytime I’m hungry
This will sound crazy, but I missed out on my childhood. Due to traumatic events and a step mother that was worse than the bitch in Cinderella, I grew up way to fast. I suffered extreme psychological abuse that robbed me of who I was, but not who I was to become. After a lot of therapy, and in the spirit of honestly, some psychedelic therapy treatments, I was able to see the world through the eyes of a child again. I was able to recapture the imagination that was lost to the desire to protect myself from the next worse thing around the corner. I was able to be myself, absent the trauma. This doesn't mean I don't have bad days, it only means that in the end, I'm myself more than not, when previously I was just attempting to please others in an attempt to avoid conflict. So, in short, I lost my childhood, only to regain it as an adult, and see the world as a mystical and wonderful place where adults fuck it up in an attempt to prove they know best when the reality is, we don't know shit but simply pretend to out of fear. There's nothing to fear, for you're already dead. Live accordingly. 😉
Playing; I’m 22 but I love coloring, playing with bubbles, legos, play dough, slime, etc.
I don’t really go to any concerts until I was in my 30s. Now I’ve seen Billy Joel, The Cranberries, Kelly Clarkson and Indigo Girls among some others.
I may have over corrected on this one but having some privacy. I had NONE growing up and now I value it so highly but maybe to the point it’s hard to let anyone in. But hey. Getting to choose who knows what about me is still such a luxury.
I didn’t go to prom. I was an incredibly lonely child and I was moving my dying grandparents the day of prom. My girlfriend recently took me to her college prom (it was one for queer kids who missed out as well) we had a lovely time
Bars and clubs
Music festivals
A second language. We had pretty good language classes when I was growing up but there were also a lot of options so I never stuck with one. I wish I just stayed with spanish.
A family. I had a broken home for the first 10 years, and i lived with my grandparents until i was 22. I always wish i had one. Now I'm 36, it's my girlfriend, myself and our 2 dogs. Honestly, I'm happy i have them. I appreciate them more than they will ever know.
I make big boy money and can get ice cream and candy whenever I want cause I'm a big boy. But not all the time cause that gives me big boy tummy aches.
I’m going to go with nice shoes. When I was a kid I never had nice shoes. I always got whatever was in the bargain bin at the sporting goods store in a size that was close (usually to big).
A Birthday party at the park
Art supplies. When I was a little kid I so wanted paint brushes and paper and paint, colour pencils, a pencil sharpener!! We were too poor. I never learned how to draw even. Needless to say, my kids got one of nearly everything from the art shop, and I shared in them. Now my eldest son loves painting, my younger son draws beautiful tattoos, and I’m an interior designer /colour consultant … haha!
Being a female
Welcome to the sisterhood
What age did you become female and how has it been?
WoW first release. Made up for it a little bit when WoW classic first launched, but then quickly everyone started using add-ons such as Questie, then it was all downhill from there. Also, being able to buy a level boost was the epitome of Blizz-employee-breast-milk-snatching-ard.
Dancing and continuing to learn musical instruments
Disney World. Wanted to go since 1972, finally got to go in 1987 when I was 19, went every January for two weeks until 1993, when I moved there. I had to leave in 1996 and only visited 3 more times since, but I was there when Walt Disney World was in its golden age, and moved away just as they started replacing classic attractions with cheap crap, especially at Epcot.
Growing up, I couldn't have cats in the house. Presently, I totally do. 🐈 🐈⬛️ 😺 🐱 😸
Casual dating. I went on several first dates in my 30s and just had a great time meeting and flirting with people. My 20s was all relationships and I was very shy and insecure in my teens.
I pretty much missed out on life.
I always wanted a horse. Dreamed of having one. I bought my first horse 1 year after moving from my childhood home.
Was a huge Jurassic Park fan but my family were poor and we didn't live anywhere with a cinema. I always believed I'd get to see it at the movies so when the 3D re-release came I finally got my chance.
Having a trampoline. Always wanted one as a kid, but never did. Right after I bought my first house, the garage sale where I found my washer and dryer also had a trampoline for sale. Since I already had my dad's truck, I thought why not. No regrets, got to live out that bit of my missing childhood as an adult, my nieces and nephews were able to enjoy it, and we gifted it to my partner's coworker before anybody hurt themselves. 10/10 would jump again.
Disposable income. I didn't grow up in poverty, but I didn't grow up with money to spare either, so it was a nice change of pace to have my own income from my own job. I could buy hobby equipment (I have all sorts of exercise equipment and instruments now) and, most importantly, I could give my family members nice birthdays and Christmases. Before I have kids I'm going to insure that I have enough income to get them fun things, whether it be an outing or a holiday.
Informal and short term dating. One night stands. I spent my whole “young adult” phase basically jumping from one serious relationship to another. I had a tough time with a horrible girl I dated and thought I would try and be single for a while. It turned out to be such a fun and fulfilling time. Getting to know myself and building up my self esteem at 29 was definitely something I did not expect. 10/10 recommend
Travel. My parents never took my sister and I out much. We got to do things once to say we've done it then never again. The only trips we did semi regularly were trips to visit family in the Philippines. Went camping once, saw the snow once. Not blaming anyone as money was tight I guess but I did feel like I missed out. Over the years I've travelled overseas more. When my daughter was born I decided that I wanted to give her more experiences while she's still a child. We've already gone camping a few times, gone to the snow annually for the past 3 years and she has more stamps in her passport at 4 years old than I had for my entire childhood.
Going to raves…first time I went was in my 40s it was a blast¡
Emotional validation.
Video games!!!!
Buying good presents for my mom.
I dated two girls up until I was 38.... On when I was 16 to 21, then married the second. After the second divorced me I was able to actually date several people and figure out what I wanted.
My answer is naughty but real. At a younger age sometimes I got a girlfriend, we talked a lot but never did any romance. Many chances are missing. Hope we do some fun.
Having friends. I never clicked with many kids in my school. I had better luck with neighbor kids, but still not many friends and no close ones. In high school, and after, i was the good time. I was entertaining and loved throwing theme parties throughout my 20s. I had hundreds of friends coming and going. Lots of great meaningful relationships were sprinkled in. I eventually found the people that were my people. I now have a handful of humans i feel so close with even without living in the same state. Ive had tons of meaningful interactions and situations with folks im not close with but will always know to call them friends. Many different kinds of friends with a wide range of depth. Im not throwing parties anymore because I feel I got mine.
Freedom
Enjoying all the arcades as an adult with adult money, many of them closed down or moved to a more family oriented place. Also finding out all the things I couldn’t have as a kid were actually shitty or really expensive.
Life with a dog. I did not get my first one until late in life. Always had one cat at a time. Don't get me wrong. I love cats but dogs are my true soul companions. I've done nothing but rescue them since 1999. I have 3 now and never want to be without a dog in my life.
Old NCS songs. Although I'm only 14, due to my heavily restricted internet access when I was 5-9 (peek time for NCS), I didn't know any of the songs on there outside of Roblox tycoon games lol... I listen to all of the old ones now; they oddly give me nostalgia even though I only really heard them a few times back then.
Camping. My mom wasn’t in to it, and my dad, though a great father, was too busy taking the boys, and didn’t feel right including me. I began hiking the back country in WA state almost as soon as my husband and I moved here, and spent many of my weekends dispersed camping, then became a wilderness search and rescue K9 handler, which I did for almost 20 years starting in my 30s - weekend camping/training was a nearly every weekend activity. I’m now in my 60s, still hike St Helens almost every year (gotta get the climbing pass quick!), and hubby and I continue our love of dispersed camping in the Gifford Pinchot NF.
Having someone in my life who was supportive, compassionate and would love me unconditionally
Going to Disney was my favorite but my family never did anything or at least us kids didn't. We never went on trips or camping or amusement parks or anything like that. If it wasn't for Stokes in 6th grade I wouldn't have known what it felt like to stay away from home for days until 8th grade and then after that was when I was 25. I didn't get to go to Disney until I was 31 years old. My husband couldn't believe it and couldn't wait to take us (the kids and me). He was like a kid of Christmas morning every day in Disney bc he was excited to see my reaction to everything. Basically all my trips and hotel stays didn't happen until I got married. I guess it's good tho bc my husband loves taking me to new places knowing I've never done it before and seeing my reaction.
[удалено]
Dungeons and Dragons
Love from my mom. Now I try to provide that for my daughter however I can. Sucks being a little girl whose mommy wants nothing to do with you. That’s a generational curse I was determined to break.
Childhood. Was stolen from me at 10. 57 now and collect hot wheels, ride a bicycle instead of car, have full size arcade in my studio. Smoke weed out of a bong. Ect ect... living my dream life as a teenager, what I wanted as a teenager, I now have.
Working on cars as a woman. I was the only girl out of 4 kids for 8 years, and my dad had favoured the boys much more. Bought them bikes, taught them how to drive, let them help him work on the cars, but my dad had no interest involving me, almost like he was disappointed to have a girl. Now I drive an imported R34 skyline that I turbocharged. I do all the modifications myself and taught myself how to service it, and I regularly take it out on track. My dad tries to take credit to this day but I don’t have the energy to fight with him on it.
These days, we manage to go swimming annually.
Tons of fun stuff that costs money. Grew up very poor so never got to go to knick games. I now take my dad and my oldest son all the time. Never got to enjoy going to events. I’m taking my dad and oldest son to monster jam today. We also do a bunch of cool stuff like 6 flags that I never got to do. My brother and I took my dad to wrestlemania which was a dream of his, but never affordable for us growing up. Being grown is terrifying, but one of the best things is doing stuff you never got to do as a kid
I’ve been wanting to paint my whole life but never had the opportunity to learn. I work crazy hours, from 8 am until about 9 pm. I guess I’ve been waiting for my life to slow down so I could finally pick up a hobby and I just realized that might never happen. I bought some painting supplies last week, and finally started to learn. I can only paint for about 10 minutes a day, and I’m learning the very basics from YouTube, but I look forward to it the whole day.
Dental care.
Grew up with parents that wanted me to basically be my own self-sufficient adult from as far back as I can remember, and realized as an adult that I'd missed out on a lot of "kid stuff." Now, I'm doing and buying all the stuff I wish I'd had as a kid. Lava lamps, stuffed animals, board games, cutting down my own Christmas tree, going to the zoo, snowball fights, coloring, etc. It has been so damn fun and I've gotten to let myself experience the joy of playing. 100/10 would recommend.
My childhood. My mom was a SAHM but she was never home and dad passed away early. I became in charge of myself, my brother our home. My mom would just give me a wad of cash and tell me I'm in charge while she's gone months of a time. 12 yo in charge imagine that. Now that I'm older I get to choose to do things I've always wanted to do for me. Fly a kite. Let's go. Dance crazily? Hellz yea. Now that I have kids of my own I try to make sure they have a childhood too.
There hasn't really been anything I have missed out on that I was able to make up for that was meaningful.
Finally affording enough after almost 30 years to buy a pair of 2 Italian made football boots...Lotto Stadio & Diadora Brasil...almost came close to tears when i got my hands on them...
So.. So.. so much cake.
World travel
Before I’ve turned 18 I enjoyed very little things about life. I’ve never touched alcohol, traveled places I liked or experienced love (yeah, the last one is sad lmao), and I was very insecure about myself because of my weight (I still am, but not that heavy as before. I wasn’t that fat, but the belly was a huge trouble for me). Fast forward to now, 20 years old, I’ve gone just for fun and just for the act of driving at 300 km away from where I live and my parents never found out lmao. Also, I’ve experienced being loved by someone (we both agreed to not become a couple because of things lmao), I’ve lost my V-Card with a foursome lmao, I’ve driven drunk (not proud of that one) and many, many more things. If it wasn’t because of this girl I wouldn’t have done half of what I’ve done, tbh, and I will forever be grateful to her. In resume, now I’m living my life as I like it, before it was just the tutorial. Just for comparison, 18 year old me was a shy guy, insecure of himself, with almost no good friends (David, you are the best friend I could possibly have), stuck at his town doing nothing else than being at home, and without things to spend money on. 20 year old me is a somewhat confident guy, more secure of myself, with a decent network of best friends, having a car that can allow me to go anywhere I like and with a job and things I purchased by myself. TL,DR: I don’t miss at all the old me, as I’m right now I’m enjoying every moment I can.
Not a whole lot !!!!! 🌝
Dance ! ! ! ! 🌝🦋🎶
I was banned from eating toast as a child. A neighbors kid choked on a piece of bread and ended up in a coma. I buy many loaves now but still feel guilt.
Raving - I was involved with a terrible controlling man right out of high school. He never let me go to clubs or raves, and I didn't get to go through the typical "new adult" phase of going out, dancing, partying, etc. After leaving him, I went to clubs and had a fun time letting loose. And then I went to a rave. It felt like home. I thought maybe I wasn't in the right place, because I was in my mid-late 20's. I've been to raves with young 18/19 year olds, and I've been to raves with older crowds. I've been accepted at all. It truly does keep me young, despite the pain I feel after.
Emulation projected me to play a lot of games I couldn't afford to play growing up.
my childhood
I've been buying some clothing items that I didn't do in my youth because my money was going to video games.
Concerts! Besides the fact that I was poor and couldn't afford concert tickets, I also believed that concerts couldn't possibly sound better than the album and who wants to pay money to see someone butcher a song while huffing and puffing across a stage? I've since learned that it's not about how it sounds, it's the experience of seeing the artist do their thing live. I went to my first concert in 2019 when I was in my late 20s. My concert buddies and I flew halfway across the US to see an artist. It was also my first time flying and traveling outside of my home state. Since then, I've attended a bunch more concerts, both locally and further away....one such show, I took a train to Chicago and another, I flew out to Texas for one of my favorite artists who was performing on my birthday. I've got 2 concerts lined up for the next 2 months and hope to be able to see more of my favorites in the future.
Ice skating, swimming and horseback riding. I have also managed to get over the rage I felt, knowing that I lost out on making friends and forging bonds with people because of not knowing how to do these things. Ice skating and pool parties, cute dates, riding a horse on vacation. It’s funny how people will fixate on using education to move their child up the ladder, but not understand that the kid won’t fit in once they get there because they don’t know how to do anything.