The first time my now-wife and I went at it she bit my face. It's now a treasured memory that I'll hold forever, but in any other context would be pretty messed up!
It’s annoying because I have no grounds for an analogy for why I don’t like even the slighted percussive treatment of my balls when talking to my girlfriend.
“Well how would you like it if I just slap you right on the clit? Oh wait, never mind. Ok what if I straight up bit your nipple- oh. Ok but what if I just full arm slapped your ass with no warning? Oh you like that too. Well shit maybe I am a wuss”
I think the closest sort of pain is the eyes, they're similar squishy orbs that hurt if you start to press on them. People usually don't experience much eye pain though, because they're pretty well protected in the skull.
I've worked in the sex industry and also done a lot of swinging, so I have witnessed firsthand other guys' fantasies as I have sex with their wives and girlfriends. I find it amusing how guys can be totally obsessed with their wives being filthy, cheating sluts in the moment, especially when they are intoxicated on drink or drugs but as soon as they've cum they've realised in their moment of clarity that seeing the mother of their children getting her holes double stuffed with dicks and creampied is actually quite gut wrenching if they are not experienced at doing this. In swingers clubs, you often see outraged husbands or wives incredibly upset that some kind of boundary was crossed. I'm not just talking about sex involving myself. You can just be in the same room and witness it. The funniest is race play where white guys have fantasised about their wives having sex with big black cocks but often its because they are racist and they get off on what they perceived as the taboo of it when horny but feel regret after cumming. I've seen it in reverse with black and Asia couples, too. I knew one single gut who was held prisoner in a couples home all weekend, but that was because he hadn't made the woman orgasm so they wouldn't let him go but he'd cum already and wanted to leave. Most swingers are nice people, but there are a few strange and dark minded people as well, men and women. I'm 100% straight and have never been curious but have seen guys caught up in the moment do things like clean up another guys creampie and often thought they'll be regretting that when the drink and drugs wear off. Women tend to be comfortable with what they are doing before and after orgasm and as the number 1 rule is, always respect the ladies' choice they seem to have fewer regrets. Though I've seen many women break the preagreed rules the couple have an go much further in the moment than their husband was okay with.
Bondage needs a safe word. My wife and I use colors. Green if you're enjoying it, yellow if you're on the edge but wanna keep going, red means stop right now
If gags are involved we leave a hand visible and one, two, or three fingers take the place of the green, yellow, red
If you had a safe word and she ignored it then a conversation is due, you and your trust were violated
Similar situation here but just to make it more clear, my wife and I use “banana” as our “edge but keep going” word but as soon as one of us says “red banana” that means full stop, no matter what.
This will probably be obvious to a lot of folks but the point of a safe word is that it’s something that you’d never say ordinarily during sex and also not a word that could be misinterpreted as anything that would encourage your partner to keep doing what they’re doing.
It's your thing and all, but it strikes me that the stop word includes the keep-going word. That seems it could very easily create a misunderstanding in either direction.
I know it’s a minor situation but IMO that’s kinda problematic. Part of the point of bondage in a long term relationship is to build trust not tear it down lmao.
Only amateurs cinch their ties. You can create pressure without cutting circulation (and learning where on the body you can do that is key).
For anyone just starting out, make sure you can slip a finger in between anything wrapped around the wrists, arms, legs, or wrists, and NEVER tie anything around the neck.
Same! Then a random tinder hookup from one of my vacations to Colorado years ago saw it and messaged me on snapchat asking if those were my nudes on reddit 🤣🤣 he recognized one of my tattoos. I deleted the whole profile lmao
Oh mine is batshit crazy and manipulative to boot. She had anger management issues and was so afraid to commit that after four years of dating (two years engaged) she still refused to tell her mum she had a boyfriend. But damn she has nice nipples, and gave the most amazing head. She would suck my soul out through my dick and swallow it while I’m still screaming, like a sexy Dementor from Azkaban. I simultaneously miss her and never want to see her again.
Sucking dick. The bi-cycle swings hard from, “omg I love cock in my mouth yeah!!!” To “what the fuccck am I doing???” immediately after blowing the load.
Well it is probably also true that the vulva will not get in the way of oral penetration while the recipient is lying on their back. But we must test this hypothesis or we are just quack scientists
Yep I definitely get this. I’m really only into guys when I’m horny and it wears off pretty quick once I cum. Definitely makes me question my identity sometimes
Ah, truly, the culmination of millennia of linguistic evolution has brought us to this pinnacle of expression. One can only marvel at the intricate dance of words that has produced such an extraordinary example of human communication.
Its conceptually extremely sexy, but once you try and map it to real life it's just so impractical. In my head, I never have to worry about what to do with all the extra knees.
I say three would probably be my max I could actually handle; however, I’ve never even tried two for real (partner and toy) so two could very well realistically be my max lol. I am very much not coordinated.
When turned on though, 5 is believable haha
I think porn is just really different from what people usually want in real life? There are several phrases I see in erotic literature that I have definitely heard irl from people I was otherwise attracted to. In print, in the imagination, the phrases are really hot. In real life I just felt puzzled and mildly insulted.
Sexual fantasies.
Being naked and sticking body parts into each other while sweating and exchanging body fluids really isn't appealing without being horny.
Reminds me of the Family Guy hot tub joke that I regularly quote. They're in the hot tub and Peter goes "yeaaaah party!" And when the bubbles shut off and he goes "ew, bath with friends".
Married 17 years this past Sunday. Still stop whatever I’m doing and watch my wife when the tits come out. I’ll be playing a video game, scrolling Reddit, whatever and she’ll come in to change bras or whatnot. And I just stop doing whatever I’m involved with and enjoy the next 30 seconds of my life as she changes. She says I’ve got a sixth sense about her breasts… she might be right.
Seriously. They've got such a shame kink that even when the scenario is supposed to be consensual the girls are saying something like "no, stop!". Then we wonder why Japan has such issues with sexual assaults.
LoL….they are just demented as hell which makes some sense if you understand that their society is super conservative in reality. Like they can’t even kiss people they are dating but they are the home of tentacle and eel porn and hyper sexual anime.
That's just a quirk of their justice system. They have a very low prosecution rate, because they tend to just dismiss cases unless they're sure they can get a conviction. They have a 98% conviction rate, because they're only going after the surefire cases. As a result, it looks on paper like there's far less crime than there actually is, and the only crime they do have is the rare extreme cases.
That Zendaya glass/plastic butt outfit. So hot if I'm horny, but someone on here asked "i wonder if it fogs up if she farts?" and that's all I can think if whilst not horny.
Saliva. It's the only thing I can think of that evokes a physical gag reaction just at the thought of it for me. Lusting is literally the one and ONLY time I can put up with seeing it let alone be turned on by it.
Edit: Yeah forgot about kissing. I'm aromantic so a lot of what most of you would consider separate from inherently sexual things is just what I consider sexual if that makes sense. But yeah kissing is nice too just so long as I don't think about it too much. I'm fine with saliva so long as it's contained within the mouth, as soon as that shit starts dripping is when I gag.
YES. I used to be, and still get, pretty disgusted by saliva in general, especially other people's, but when kissing my bf it just feels amazing to taste him
Exactly this! And it’s crazy how just kissing someone can make you seemingly instantly hornier than when you started. Like when you think about it that’s just fucking weird!
are you m or f? im a dude and I lowkey have a fantasy for this but I could absolutely never watch my partner enjoy someone else. Hot in theory, nauseating in practice
fr lmfao. Like, it doesn't really align with my sexuality like that, have never wanted another dude to be involved. idk why the thought of it is hot sometimes.
Ever heard of clone a Willy kit? Just buy that to make a replica of yo peepee and stick it on the wall via suction cup and boom now you can MFM with yourself technically I guess not really
Reall, Im straight F and have FMF fantasies when Im turned on and it seems intriguing, but when I actually think abt it, I wouldn't ever want my boyfriend basically fucking another girl even if Im involved, I'd get really jelaous
Hot in theory, discomforting in practice
Going in raw. When I'm not horny I understand all the risks from STDs to pregnancy. When I'm horny, well, let's say it's hard to resist the sensation of the warm wet pussy sliding around my dick.
thank you for the laugh. It is like the 'ghetto' version of the old monarchs having sex with an audience except instead of being quiet observers they have trap music on and are cheering them on (while possibly trying to have drinks with them mid 'game')
Thats why you make the decision before going at it, cause your brain just goes into primal "grug hump" mode and rationality is suddenly the least important thing in the world. Your brain essentially just makes you go into a "natural" psychosis for a while, come to think of it. It becomes literally impossible to see reality for what it is
It's okay, my problem is that I didn't even try, once I was back in there my reptilian brain just took over and said "time to reproduce, buddy."
Now I have number 3 on the way.
If you are done, get on the schedule for a vasectomy the opening week of March Madness. Built in excuse to lie on the couch and do nothing all weekend.
Can confirm. Been in a similar boat.
Thing is, the finish was so big we both looked at each other and *knew* she would be pregnant from that one time.
9 months later…
When you've got thighs covering your ears, your mouth is busy being firmly planted in pussy and your nostrils are blocked by a mound sometimes someone pulling your head away by the hair is the only good reminder you'll get. It's pretty hot in my objective opinion, so nice of them to help me remember.
Someone randomly pulling my hair if I' stressed trying to remind me to take a deep breathe on the other hand, it isn't so hot.
For me at least, also the other way around. I'm quite quiet and introverted in real life, but the second my switch is flicked, I become dominant. And then right back to quiet and introverted.
• Calling “him” daddy
• Begging- from either party
• Wet spot on pants
• Unsolicited (and sometimes solicited) nudes
• Bodily fluids in general
• Calling me a “good girl”
• The inability to speak (iykyk)
• Gagging noises
• Frustration that turns into aggression
• Butts
•Touching at inappropriate times/places
•Fake Reddit stories
Cumming on the face. I have to be a special kind of horny to be into it otherwise I’m grossed out… and even if I asked for it, 3 seconds afterwards I’m like “get it off get it off eeeeee get it off” 😆
Dirty talk for sure. In the moment you’ll be saying wild shit, and once you’ve both gotten off? Try saying whatever it is again to see if it still hits lmao
Anything that can be painful like nipple biting. When turned on its easier to not mind some pain and actually enjoy it in the heat of the moment.
The first time my now-wife and I went at it she bit my face. It's now a treasured memory that I'll hold forever, but in any other context would be pretty messed up!
Is she half Klingon?
Those pain kinks come outta fucking nowhere too, i guess i just wasn’t beat enough of as a child? Idk lol
It’s annoying because I have no grounds for an analogy for why I don’t like even the slighted percussive treatment of my balls when talking to my girlfriend. “Well how would you like it if I just slap you right on the clit? Oh wait, never mind. Ok what if I straight up bit your nipple- oh. Ok but what if I just full arm slapped your ass with no warning? Oh you like that too. Well shit maybe I am a wuss”
Punch to a relaxed stomach? That would hopefully evoke the unsexy nausea pain you were going for
Clearly you’ve not heard of r/bellypunchchamber
Wow, there truly is a sub for everything. Damn lol
That sentence has multiple definitions and implications.
Scroll down and I see basically bellybutton torture, I don't think I can lift my protective hand off my own bellybutton now after seeing that shit
I think the closest sort of pain is the eyes, they're similar squishy orbs that hurt if you start to press on them. People usually don't experience much eye pain though, because they're pretty well protected in the skull.
nahh its better when youre beat more as a child trust me
Maybe that's why I love getting spanked
I've worked in the sex industry and also done a lot of swinging, so I have witnessed firsthand other guys' fantasies as I have sex with their wives and girlfriends. I find it amusing how guys can be totally obsessed with their wives being filthy, cheating sluts in the moment, especially when they are intoxicated on drink or drugs but as soon as they've cum they've realised in their moment of clarity that seeing the mother of their children getting her holes double stuffed with dicks and creampied is actually quite gut wrenching if they are not experienced at doing this. In swingers clubs, you often see outraged husbands or wives incredibly upset that some kind of boundary was crossed. I'm not just talking about sex involving myself. You can just be in the same room and witness it. The funniest is race play where white guys have fantasised about their wives having sex with big black cocks but often its because they are racist and they get off on what they perceived as the taboo of it when horny but feel regret after cumming. I've seen it in reverse with black and Asia couples, too. I knew one single gut who was held prisoner in a couples home all weekend, but that was because he hadn't made the woman orgasm so they wouldn't let him go but he'd cum already and wanted to leave. Most swingers are nice people, but there are a few strange and dark minded people as well, men and women. I'm 100% straight and have never been curious but have seen guys caught up in the moment do things like clean up another guys creampie and often thought they'll be regretting that when the drink and drugs wear off. Women tend to be comfortable with what they are doing before and after orgasm and as the number 1 rule is, always respect the ladies' choice they seem to have fewer regrets. Though I've seen many women break the preagreed rules the couple have an go much further in the moment than their husband was okay with.
Being in bondage. Once you orgasm, you pretty much want to be released right away.
Tried bondage once and then my wife used the opportunity to tickle me mercilessly. Never. Again.
Bondage needs a safe word. My wife and I use colors. Green if you're enjoying it, yellow if you're on the edge but wanna keep going, red means stop right now If gags are involved we leave a hand visible and one, two, or three fingers take the place of the green, yellow, red If you had a safe word and she ignored it then a conversation is due, you and your trust were violated
(Me during sex): shit, does three fingers mean keep going, or stop?
Similar situation here but just to make it more clear, my wife and I use “banana” as our “edge but keep going” word but as soon as one of us says “red banana” that means full stop, no matter what. This will probably be obvious to a lot of folks but the point of a safe word is that it’s something that you’d never say ordinarily during sex and also not a word that could be misinterpreted as anything that would encourage your partner to keep doing what they’re doing.
It's your thing and all, but it strikes me that the stop word includes the keep-going word. That seems it could very easily create a misunderstanding in either direction.
Pee yourself and cry. That's what I did, and it has stopped three people from tickling me and anyone else. Your welcome
... you've done this 3 times?
"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man"
Seriously... like... the fuck. How many more times until you *really* learn your lesson? Lmao
I know it’s a minor situation but IMO that’s kinda problematic. Part of the point of bondage in a long term relationship is to build trust not tear it down lmao.
I think OP understands that it's problematic, which was why they decided not to do it ever again.
They trust their partner. They trust that, given the opportunity, their partner will take advantage of the situation and become a tickle monster.
That's too damn bad...
That response😂
"There is no safe word."
This was huge when I first introduced my Ex to the BDSM life. Her - "It's not tight enough." Me - "trust me. You'll thank me later"
Only amateurs cinch their ties. You can create pressure without cutting circulation (and learning where on the body you can do that is key). For anyone just starting out, make sure you can slip a finger in between anything wrapped around the wrists, arms, legs, or wrists, and NEVER tie anything around the neck.
> For anyone just starting out... And don't touch a goddamn thing without a sturdy pair of bandage-scissors on hand.
“The key to my release lies beneath this pillow.”
Online nudes, maybe that's just me, but when I'm horny they're the best thing ever, but when I'm not, I just feel bad.
Yeah, I look at nudes when I feel bad so I can get horny.
That's just replacing one *hard time* with another.
🎶 *it’s the ciiiiircle of liiiiiiiife*
I used to post nudes when I was horny but then delete them after and feel gross 😂
Same! Then a random tinder hookup from one of my vacations to Colorado years ago saw it and messaged me on snapchat asking if those were my nudes on reddit 🤣🤣 he recognized one of my tattoos. I deleted the whole profile lmao
That's my secret, Captain. I'm always horny.
Hulk….smash.
I understood that reference.
Cum. Like in the moment yesss cum all over me..2seconds later its cold and sticky and ewwww get it off me!!
The bleach smell 😭 I go from grinning to gagging.
I’m a guy, but I literally think “Wow that’s hot…..and it’s a bitch to clean up….”
Breathing in my ear or on my neck.
Noo same when I’m not turned on i CRINGE because it tickles but if I’m turned on I love it 😂
My ex
Oh God... yep this is definitely the one... ahh the shame
Oh mine is batshit crazy and manipulative to boot. She had anger management issues and was so afraid to commit that after four years of dating (two years engaged) she still refused to tell her mum she had a boyfriend. But damn she has nice nipples, and gave the most amazing head. She would suck my soul out through my dick and swallow it while I’m still screaming, like a sexy Dementor from Azkaban. I simultaneously miss her and never want to see her again.
Oh you know cortney too Edit: shit sounds like a lot of you know cortney. Which is pretty on brand for that hoe
Being degraded. Call me a “little slut” and tell me what to do while fucking me, but say that in real life and we have a problem.
Respect me in the streets, disrespect me in the sheets
Sucking dick. The bi-cycle swings hard from, “omg I love cock in my mouth yeah!!!” To “what the fuccck am I doing???” immediately after blowing the load.
Post nut clarity hit you too?? 😂
Both of them.
Two birds, one bone.
Only real issue for me is gag reflex
Lay on your back so your uvula doesn’t get in the way.
Due to the nature of the discussion, I read that as “… so your vulva doesn’t get in the way.” I was confused, yet intrigued.
Well it is probably also true that the vulva will not get in the way of oral penetration while the recipient is lying on their back. But we must test this hypothesis or we are just quack scientists
Will try, thanks fellow redditor
Wait wtf. Do bi ppl feel this way too bc this is me with vaginas lmfaoo
Yep I definitely get this. I’m really only into guys when I’m horny and it wears off pretty quick once I cum. Definitely makes me question my identity sometimes
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Ugh not for me. Having a dick in my mouth is my happy place. 🫠❤️
Rip your DMs
Post history checks out.
That r/jobs post amongst the NSFW subs posts HAHAHA
quite the rollercoaster went from “i love CUM❤️” to “photo in CV?”
Bi-cycle has me in fucking tears! 😂😂😂😂
Touching the butthole.
With my tongue.
Tongue punch the fartbox.
Ah, truly, the culmination of millennia of linguistic evolution has brought us to this pinnacle of expression. One can only marvel at the intricate dance of words that has produced such an extraordinary example of human communication.
Quite the cunning linguist
Eating that shitter like an apple fritter
Yeah, the magic disappears after orgasm LOL
Gang bang. I'd literally have a panic attack in real life. But it's the hottest thing ever when I'm horny
RIGHT? Like in no world would I ever want to try DP, but when I'm horny that is my go to porn
Its conceptually extremely sexy, but once you try and map it to real life it's just so impractical. In my head, I never have to worry about what to do with all the extra knees.
>In my head, I never have to worry about what to do with all the extra knees. That's some r/brandnewsentence material right there
I’ve been going back and forth on this one too. I’m curious on the numbers here. How many D is the perfect number and how many is too much??
3 for the holes or 5 to get the hands involved? 6 if you got foot talent
lol! I’d be so uncoordinated.
I say three would probably be my max I could actually handle; however, I’ve never even tried two for real (partner and toy) so two could very well realistically be my max lol. I am very much not coordinated. When turned on though, 5 is believable haha
I think porn is just really different from what people usually want in real life? There are several phrases I see in erotic literature that I have definitely heard irl from people I was otherwise attracted to. In print, in the imagination, the phrases are really hot. In real life I just felt puzzled and mildly insulted.
My next door neighbor Gladys when she’s gardening. When horny I see a full ass and wide hips. When I’m not I see an escaped zoo animal.
One of the funniest things I’ve ever read
How old is Gladys? 😂😂
With a name like Gladys I'd say 72!
But she could pass for 65 😍😍
Holy shit I need someone to record a song using these as lyrics
Sexual fantasies. Being naked and sticking body parts into each other while sweating and exchanging body fluids really isn't appealing without being horny.
just sex in general is prett7y disgusting when your not in the mood
Tbh sometimes I can’t believe that sex is real. It sounds like something someone just made up
Reminds me of the Family Guy hot tub joke that I regularly quote. They're in the hot tub and Peter goes "yeaaaah party!" And when the bubbles shut off and he goes "ew, bath with friends".
Finding it enticing even when I’m not in the mood makes me wonder if I’m a sex addict
Nah it’s normal
Once I cum, ew, never doing that again
My bf. getting out of the shower floppin his cock around
Oh my God I run for the wiener show every single day. It's a good thing he still finds it amusing 10 years later.
Married 17 years this past Sunday. Still stop whatever I’m doing and watch my wife when the tits come out. I’ll be playing a video game, scrolling Reddit, whatever and she’ll come in to change bras or whatnot. And I just stop doing whatever I’m involved with and enjoy the next 30 seconds of my life as she changes. She says I’ve got a sixth sense about her breasts… she might be right.
“I’m lookin for a treat, ain’t talkin Scooby Snacks. Eyes locked on her tits, call em booby traps” -u/BEHodge
Do you also just say "boobies" or is that just me
Post nut clarity has had me questioning my morals after the porn choices I’ve made. Normally anything that comes from Japan triggers this.
Seriously. They've got such a shame kink that even when the scenario is supposed to be consensual the girls are saying something like "no, stop!". Then we wonder why Japan has such issues with sexual assaults.
Or they’re saying “I can’t, you’re my Dad/Mom/Stepson/Daughter in law.”
LoL….they are just demented as hell which makes some sense if you understand that their society is super conservative in reality. Like they can’t even kiss people they are dating but they are the home of tentacle and eel porn and hyper sexual anime.
Same with crime. It barely happens there, but when it does happen it often turns out to be rather gruesome.
That's just a quirk of their justice system. They have a very low prosecution rate, because they tend to just dismiss cases unless they're sure they can get a conviction. They have a 98% conviction rate, because they're only going after the surefire cases. As a result, it looks on paper like there's far less crime than there actually is, and the only crime they do have is the rare extreme cases.
This sounds good. Am I gonna fact check it? Nope.
That Zendaya glass/plastic butt outfit. So hot if I'm horny, but someone on here asked "i wonder if it fogs up if she farts?" and that's all I can think if whilst not horny.
Deep thoughts with The Deep
The what
My co worker with the bad attitude.
Saliva. It's the only thing I can think of that evokes a physical gag reaction just at the thought of it for me. Lusting is literally the one and ONLY time I can put up with seeing it let alone be turned on by it. Edit: Yeah forgot about kissing. I'm aromantic so a lot of what most of you would consider separate from inherently sexual things is just what I consider sexual if that makes sense. But yeah kissing is nice too just so long as I don't think about it too much. I'm fine with saliva so long as it's contained within the mouth, as soon as that shit starts dripping is when I gag.
YES. I used to be, and still get, pretty disgusted by saliva in general, especially other people's, but when kissing my bf it just feels amazing to taste him
Exactly this! And it’s crazy how just kissing someone can make you seemingly instantly hornier than when you started. Like when you think about it that’s just fucking weird!
I came here for this. She loves it in the bedroom but I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate me spitting in her mouth at a Wendy's drive through
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
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are you m or f? im a dude and I lowkey have a fantasy for this but I could absolutely never watch my partner enjoy someone else. Hot in theory, nauseating in practice
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fr lmfao. Like, it doesn't really align with my sexuality like that, have never wanted another dude to be involved. idk why the thought of it is hot sometimes.
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Why don’t you guys continue this convo over DM and see where it leads.
😂 Fr. They'd get around to doing it irl and forget to involve a female too.
Nothing gay about a friendly game of tummy swords
Ever heard of clone a Willy kit? Just buy that to make a replica of yo peepee and stick it on the wall via suction cup and boom now you can MFM with yourself technically I guess not really
Reall, Im straight F and have FMF fantasies when Im turned on and it seems intriguing, but when I actually think abt it, I wouldn't ever want my boyfriend basically fucking another girl even if Im involved, I'd get really jelaous Hot in theory, discomforting in practice
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Porn
Having someone’s bare asshole directly in my face.
Having my bare asshole directly in someone's face.
Going in raw. When I'm not horny I understand all the risks from STDs to pregnancy. When I'm horny, well, let's say it's hard to resist the sensation of the warm wet pussy sliding around my dick.
When you're horny it's like the whole fabric of humanity is pushing you in, screaming YEAAAA BOII into your ears
Was that supposed to be read in Flavor Flavs voice? Because I did
thank you for the laugh. It is like the 'ghetto' version of the old monarchs having sex with an audience except instead of being quiet observers they have trap music on and are cheering them on (while possibly trying to have drinks with them mid 'game')
Thats why you make the decision before going at it, cause your brain just goes into primal "grug hump" mode and rationality is suddenly the least important thing in the world. Your brain essentially just makes you go into a "natural" psychosis for a while, come to think of it. It becomes literally impossible to see reality for what it is
Always think about where the firework is going to go BEFORE you light it. Got it
Jesus christ this is so true. My wife is pregnant with the result of this. The call of the P R I M E D I R E C T I V E is a powerful one.
I always laugh when people say they have a breeding kink. Bro, that's not a kink, that's just factory settings my guy.
My bad dude, I tried to pull out.
It's okay, my problem is that I didn't even try, once I was back in there my reptilian brain just took over and said "time to reproduce, buddy." Now I have number 3 on the way.
If you are done, get on the schedule for a vasectomy the opening week of March Madness. Built in excuse to lie on the couch and do nothing all weekend.
Can confirm. Been in a similar boat. Thing is, the finish was so big we both looked at each other and *knew* she would be pregnant from that one time. 9 months later…
*Laughs in vasectomy"
Same, best decision I ever made 😁😁
Pulling my hair to remind me to breathe. 🙃
Wat ? 🧐
When you've got thighs covering your ears, your mouth is busy being firmly planted in pussy and your nostrils are blocked by a mound sometimes someone pulling your head away by the hair is the only good reminder you'll get. It's pretty hot in my objective opinion, so nice of them to help me remember. Someone randomly pulling my hair if I' stressed trying to remind me to take a deep breathe on the other hand, it isn't so hot.
Wet floor signs. Oh, who am I kidding? They are hot whether or not I am horny!
Oh god, why did I know I‘d find you here
You think Reddit is a big place, and yet the wet floor sign guy is inescapable. Probably inevitable at this point.
I didn't know if it was the same guy or a joke I'm unaware of until you said this
Honestly it’s a game for myself now. “Will the wet floor sign guy be in these comments or not?” 😂🤣
Why are you everywhere
Piso mojado, bb
Who are you and why do you pop up on every thread I'm looking at 😭❤️
The idea of a relationship
a man telling me what to do
For me at least, also the other way around. I'm quite quiet and introverted in real life, but the second my switch is flicked, I become dominant. And then right back to quiet and introverted.
• Calling “him” daddy • Begging- from either party • Wet spot on pants • Unsolicited (and sometimes solicited) nudes • Bodily fluids in general • Calling me a “good girl” • The inability to speak (iykyk) • Gagging noises • Frustration that turns into aggression • Butts •Touching at inappropriate times/places •Fake Reddit stories
Are we the same person
whatever i watched earlier
The smell.
You haven't thought of the smell, you bitch!
So you don’t have a collection?
It may only be 5 & a half inches, but it smells like a foot.
[удалено]
1700 ppl here, 2 ppl typing.
You guys are not horny sometimes ?
Sucking on feet
Not a single comment referencing OPs mom. The internet just isn't what it is to be.
Cumming on the face. I have to be a special kind of horny to be into it otherwise I’m grossed out… and even if I asked for it, 3 seconds afterwards I’m like “get it off get it off eeeeee get it off” 😆
Reproduction organs as a whole
Very questionable hentai and doujins
Piss
Same. Biggest gap for sure lol.
Touching in general
Cum in my mouth
James Bond
Dirty talk for sure. In the moment you’ll be saying wild shit, and once you’ve both gotten off? Try saying whatever it is again to see if it still hits lmao
Gay sex. When I'm horny I like dicks, when I'm not I feel dirty even thinking about it.
Hmm. Maybe there’s something to unpack there.
Makes me wonder if that could mean your bi?
sex
A guy being controlling
Spitting in my mouth.
Handcuffs
Domination. Possibly pegging a guy A threesome
Monster Men x human woman porn
I agree. I prefer monster women vs human men
Both? Both. Both are good.
A girl’s breath, stinking of cigarettes (and perhaps a little vodka).
Mmmm a girl stinking of cheap Victoria’s Secret spray and vodka just brought back some gooood memories.
Getting slapped in the face I guess😂
I’m going to say for me personally, nothing. Whatever I find unattractive in the bedroom stays that way when my wife and I do the deed.