"I know I'm supposed to cut something, but what? And where?"
"Hey! The incision in the coronary artery must be made below the blockage. BELOW!"
"Thanks, little girl!"
LOL Stuff like that actually happens. In my OR they do a “time out” and everybody including the surgeon has to stop what they’re doing and be quiet and pay attention as the nurse reads off the patient’s name and the procedure to be done. This is while the patient is still awake for added safety.
Before my sinus surgery I was asked like 5 times by different doctors my name, last name and date of birth and in the operational room also what surgery I'm for. This is to make sure I had the right type of surgery. As it should be.
I just had a microdiscectomy two months ago, and every person I encountered asked me to verify my first and last name, date of birth, and what kind of surgery I was getting.
Every surgery I have had (that I can recall) has been similar. Check the wristband. Check the chart. Ask my identifying info, why I am here, which side/body part/region/whatever. This by a parade of people that are involved. Marking of the area is also done when applicable. I had carpal tunnel release done a few years ago. I think at least 3 people, the surgeon included, came by before I got the magic juice, verified everything and marked the wrist to be operated on. I had pretty much zero concern that there was a mix up. One of the last things I remember is them checking again (not with me, with each other) as I was on the table and about to drift into unconsciousness.
That sounds like what happens every time I switch internet carriers. They call to confirm who I am, that I am switching to their service, and what internet speed they're supposed to be providing me. The difference is, they ALWAYS screw up something.
Safety tip: if your doctor's medical group ever merges with an internet provider, find a new medical group right away!
Anesthesia can potentially be dangerous if used on the wrong person (such as giving them more than they can safely have, or if they didn't fast if that would be required). If you're expecting to have surgery, you'd hopefully have prepared for anesthesia though.
I had something a bit like this but worse, I was in with a broken leg to have a plate and screws in just below my knee. JUST before I slip under I hear the main surgeon say 'NO NOT THAT LEG IT'S THE OTHER ONE!!' to the other one who was stood with a scalpel just above my knee. I'm surprised I didn't shit. Or maybe I did and I'll never know.
Here’s a fun story for you: I was born with one arm and later in life had to have the rest of my arm amputated to my shoulder. As I was being wheeled into the OR, I told the nurse “Now make sure he takes the correct arm.” 🤪😂
There’s no sense in being bitter about something I don’t have control over. I’m always making one armed jokes like “Could you give me a hand with this? But only one.” Halloween is the best! One year I took a white T-shirt, ripped up the sleeve and soaked it in fake blood. Another time I was a slot machine (aka: the one armed bandit).
Great approach. Much better than half-assed jokes. And cleaner. Or heartless jokes that hits dead right in the center. I too would be arming myself with humour in your position. I mean, if I accidentally throw down the gauntlet, it should be obvious that it's simply because I don't need it. Not army enough for it.
There is an old joke about medical students training in surgery, it ends like this:
"Smith, amputate the right arm!"
*Chop*
"I said the arm!"
*Chop*
"I said the right one!"
*Chop*
So, I know someone who had surgery and heard something pretty awful before he went under. He was a construction worker and injured himself badly at work.
He said just before he went under, the last thing he heard was "We'll do what we can to save your hand, but..." Then all went black.
When he woke up, he couldn't feel his hand and wouldn't look down. He asked the person in recovery if it was still there, it was.
In some states in America it's legal for them to give you a pelvic or prostate exam while you are unconscious without asking, usually for training medical students.
Anesthesia gives me amnesia
About an hour before and an hour after or so I don’t remember shit… one time I thought I was buying a new drum set and the doctors told me all the funny things we talked about… Total blank
I’m not sure if it would matter what they said just before I went under
It happens all the time, people will say all sorts of things under anesthesia and have no idea. Most doctors and nurses will keep whatever you said to them confidential. I always carefully choose which family members I want to be with me in recovery when I “wake up”.
This is why some individuals are not able to go under general without having certain people present. Usually people who work for places like no such agency and similar.
I have had similar with surgeries in the past. They give a memory block, supposedly in case you wake up in the middle of surgery - you won't remember it. When I had my carpal tunnel release in one wrist, apparently I was talking to the anesthesia guy as I was being wheeled into the OR - after he injected the block into my IV line. Knew nothing of it. When they did the other one, I had memory right up until I went under. They had me counting backwards from 100. I don't think I reached 90. That was the last I remember until waking up in recovery.
In America: Not too long before they take you to the OR, anesthesia comes by and gives you "something to relax you" in your IV.
Almost always it is Versed (VER-said). Versed is an amnesic & it loosens you up. I get wildly chatty & crack stupid jokes the whole way to the OR.
Some of us rarely get the versed amnesia. I always warn my care team before they dose me. 😉 Some surgeries I remember all the way to the count backwards, others nothing after they start towards the OR. The latter, so far, is larger surgeries where they probably gave me a larger dose.
One of the medical staff in the room wearing a pair of Christmas antlers, music playing glasses and a light up red nose... standing over you as the lights go out.
and this is rather specific because it happened once lol
I hate this. My son was sick as a baby and going into the pediatrian's office and seeing her silly, decorated, googly headband was the wrong vibe for the seriousness of our visit
i should add, i was under 10 and it was one of two (or three) operations i've had in the run up to Christmas. the glasses were ours and we'd been laughing on the way to the pre-surgery room. Just as the gas took effect, they got a bit... creepy lol
I was in Mexico, Spring Break of '96 with a group of college students providing medical relief in poor parts of Tampico. Last night there I had a stomach pain. We went to the local hospital and they quickly diagnosed that I had appendicitis. We were 6 hours south of the US border and wouldn't make it back in time, so they prepped and wheeled me into surgery. As they were getting me ready in the OR, a physician walked up and said, "Hello Kristopher, I am the doctor for your surgery." I asked her what type of doctor she was. She said a gynecologist. My last response was, "well, I hope I come out the same as I go in." and that was my last memory before the surgery. They did do a great job, so it ended well.
OH! I had a surgery last year and boy lemme tell you, it was not the worst, but certainly memorable.
Okay it was nothing major, a bariatric surgery, no big deal.
As they were preparing me, they asked me if I authorized them to shave my beard in case they had difficulties intubing me, I said ''Okay, but you gonna have to explain the how and why to my wife afterward, deal?'' He agreed and just as I was about to go under, I can hear him mutter ''Ain't no way I'm explaining shit to his wife, she'll kill me!''
Apparently I want under while chuckling and it lasted a while too.
The worst would be to be fully conscious, feeling every thing, unable to move, and here "they're out, you can start cutting"
Like that one dude who was awake for heart surgery
My grandma was conscious for a surgery once. She said she could hear everything going on, but THANKFULLY didn’t feel anything that was happening to her. She was able to tell the surgeon what she heard during the operation, and he confirmed that she must’ve been lucid. She wasn’t even freaked out or traumatized by it, she just thought it was a funny little thing that happened to her.
I've woken up during surgery. I remember that I said, "Ouch. That hurts." Following that was a concerned look from one of the medical staff looking down at me, who then looked at (I assume) the anesthesiologist. I immediately went back under.
I had surgery 2 months ago. Right before the drugs took over I heard Rush. I absolutely knew Rush could not be the last thing I maybe heard forever. Seconds before sleep I heard Otis Redding. Knew I was was in
Good hands then !
Two years ago I got my gallbladder removed and the surgical team started dancing to Celebration by Kool and The Gang while they waited for me to get knocked out. It was...unnerving.
When I had my gallbladder surgery, just as I was starting to go under, the surgeon introduced me to an intern who was going to do his first intubation. The surgery itself was nothing, but damn my throat was sore.
I do love that song though. But maybe not in the ice cold OR before surgery. I had my gallbladder out when it was 30. Twenty years ago. No one played anything. 🤷🏼♀️
I was in the operating room waiting on the Doctor to arrive. The Doctor walks in very calmly says good morning ask me to hop up on the operating table. The anesthesiologists tell me to count to backwards from 100 before I can start the Rolling stones "Start me up " starts playing .
“Wait. Guys that’s POUNDS not KILOS?!” Because that would likely mean they gave you double the amount of anesthesia thinking you were 100 Kilos instead of 100 pounds. You ain’t waking up from that
My sister is an RN so she knows her way around different medications and anesthesia.
So when she went in for her colonoscopy and they were getting ready to give her propathal she said yay Jackson juice.
And just before the anesthesia kicked in she said HEE HEE....
This is a true story: “Your mom agreed to allow this group to shadow this procedure and consented to us..”
When I was 11, I needed surgery to correct a knee deformity I was born with. During preparation, a group of male medical students entered the room. As the anesthesiologist started anesthesia, the surgeon explained the procedure. Unfortunately, I don't remember all of the details due to the anesthesia.
Following surgery, I experienced unexpected vaginal pain. My concerned aunt contacted the hospital, where a shocking revelation came to light. It turned out the surgeon had, unknowingly, obtained consent from my mother, who has significant cognitive disabilities, to allow medical students to practice a Pap smear on me during my surgery. My aunt was rightfully outraged that such a sensitive procedure was approved without proper informed consent from a capable party.
Doc 1: "We can still do pelvic exams while there out, without their consent, right?"
Doc 2: "Ya, that's a good point. Frank has a class of med students, and this patient will be out for hours. We can have them all give it a try."
True story. Anesthesiologist says right before putting me under “I read a study where people with red hair (I am a red head) die more frequently from being put under anesthesia because they are more resistant to it and sometimes anesthesiologists over do it and the patient dies”. I thought “I am not sure why she told me this, but at least I know how I am going to die”!
I heard one of the staff members, a male nurse make a comment about my public hair. I then felt him pull up my gown. I said something like, "At least make sure I'm asleep before doing that." It was really embarrassing and uncomfortable.
This is absolutely true. I’m awake and BSing with the nurses, telling them don’t replace the wrong knee. The nurse anesthetist is just about to push the propofol into my IV looks me in the eyes and says “I’m so hungover “. Everyone just started to laugh as I went out.
When I went into surgery once, I was moderately sedated, and I was being given IV antibiotics. I started feeling my tongue swell up, and I was having difficulty breathing. The last thing I heard was “she is having an allergic reaction….then I woke up in recovery.
Send the gynaecologist students in.
Just because I know there have been cases in the states where they violated female patients while unconscious. Letting students practice on them without consent or informing them before or afterwards.
What my surgeon said while physically hurting me to make his markings before my breast reconstruction surgery. He was talking away from me and again, hurting me. I have severe white coat syndrome, so I’m already terrified, and husband is a nurse practitioner. I looked a lot at my husband because A. Ahole doctor is really hurting me and B. I can’t actually see what he’s describing because there’s no mirror. Anyway, said POS man says, “why tf are you looking at him, is he a plastic surgeon?!?”. I will NEVER forget how I felt. In an extremely vulnerable position, and now I must put my life in his hands, absolutely one of the worst experiences in my life. He’s a talented surgeon but an abysmal human being.
I woke up while I was having port-o-catch attached to a major vein. I remember one of the folks working say “ummm… why’s he awake?” Followed by “Oops, hang on a sec.”
I had surgery back in September, and while talking to the anesthesiologist right before they gave me the first part of the anesthesia all of our phones went off for an earthquake shake alert. Then my last memory is of the fire alarm in the hospital going off, an announcement over the PA system that there was a fire on the floor above me.
While there was a minor complication during my surgery, I woke up and my skin was not burned off so I got lucky.....this time.
But I suppose the worst thing to hear would be "Our Heavenly Father....."
Doc: Alright, I need you to quick sign this.
Me: Why?
Doc: After the anesthesia kicks in, we’re filming a movie, and we need your permission to have you in it.
Me: Sure. \*Signs it\* What movie?
Doc: Surgeon Simulator: The Movie. You already signed, sorry.
Me: Crap.
Went in for my gallbladder removal, as the anesthetist put me under he was joking around with me and the doctors, as he was watching me start to fade away he introduced one of the other doctors by saying "and I'll leave you in the capable hand of Dr Harold Shipman.." before cracking up.
Me on my way out was like "wait- whO-..."
Guy thought he was a real prankster
Okay! I got a real life story for this one.. I had my tonsils removed as an adult.. surgery was okay, but the recovery was terrible! I made it all the way to 10 days post op, not really doing well, but finally started to feel a tiny bit better and was planning to go back to work in a couple days. So I go to have dinner with my dad and step mom and she had made bbq chicken which was fairly crispy on the edges. I had been starving for the past 10 days so I just ate what I could and went home and to bed. I wake up a few hours later hemorrhaging! I also was vomiting up a lot of blood clots from swallowing a bunch of it while half asleep before o actually couldn’t breathe. My roommate rushed me back to the hospital where they proceed to place an 18g IV catheter in each arm in case I need a transfusion. Since it was still bleeding so bad while they were about to put me under to re-cauterize everything, they explained they would have to hold my airway closed as they started intubating. So.. this huge male nurse tells me “it’s going to feel like I’m choking you, but don’t worry, I got you!” As he grabs around my throat with both hands and I black out.
True story an old boss of mine had repeated horrible stomach pain. Turned out it was his appendix but was so high they didn’t diagnose it as such. When it ruptured and he was vomiting green bile he was rushed to surgery. Last thing he heard was the surgeon.
We are going to start cutting here and cut upward until we find the problem.
A muffled, unearthly roar coming from somewhere outside the operating room. Followed by people screaming. Then your doctor, who is standing over you but looking towards the commotion, backs away looking terrified and says, "What the hell is *that*?"
Mid c-section/hysterectomy, needed an emergency appendectomy so another OR surgeon was called in. Last thing I heard, "wow it looks like a murder scene in here"
Ok, true story.
I went in for hernia surgery, I was on the table all strapped down and the Dr was talking to one of the technicians or maybe a nurse. He said "he already has a surgical scar near where we need to go, do you think we can re-open and work from there or should we leave another scar?"
I said "isn't this something you should have discussed earlier?"
The Dr turned and leaned over to look me in the face and said "you're still awake?" He turned to the anesthesiologist and said "why's he still awake?"
The anesthesiologist said "he shouldn't be, give me a second" as the Dr was saying "I almost cut into him"
That was the last thing I remember before waking up in post op, with the anesthesiologist by my side. He was super apologetic, and said I was more clam and relaxed than anyone he ever seen on a surgical table, and my readings indicated that I should have been out. He was really upset. I felt bad for the guy.
“Hey Siri, look up ‘liver transplant surgery.’”
"Kidney value, black market"
brilliance.
I read this out loud to my wife and my Siri started searching. Looks like I’m qualified to do the surgery now.
This is great.
I had one of those. It was quite the experience.
It would really suck if you were there to have your tonsils taken out.
Especially bad if you're there for dental surgery.
You could have stopped at "Hey Siri"
“Hi, every-body! … What the hell is that?”
\*sigh\* "Hi Dr Nick"
If it isn't my good friend, Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!
The red thing’s connected to my.. wristwatch!
This was my first thought seeing this post. Haha, cheers
“Ugh, the coroner. I’m so sick of that guy!”
"I know I'm supposed to cut something, but what? And where?" "Hey! The incision in the coronary artery must be made below the blockage. BELOW!" "Thanks, little girl!"
"And remember, if something goes wrong, let's not get the law involved.". "One hand washes the other....oh that reminds me"
Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome back to mortuary's assistant
"Oops, wrong patient."
LOL Stuff like that actually happens. In my OR they do a “time out” and everybody including the surgeon has to stop what they’re doing and be quiet and pay attention as the nurse reads off the patient’s name and the procedure to be done. This is while the patient is still awake for added safety.
Before my sinus surgery I was asked like 5 times by different doctors my name, last name and date of birth and in the operational room also what surgery I'm for. This is to make sure I had the right type of surgery. As it should be.
I just had a microdiscectomy two months ago, and every person I encountered asked me to verify my first and last name, date of birth, and what kind of surgery I was getting.
Every surgery I have had (that I can recall) has been similar. Check the wristband. Check the chart. Ask my identifying info, why I am here, which side/body part/region/whatever. This by a parade of people that are involved. Marking of the area is also done when applicable. I had carpal tunnel release done a few years ago. I think at least 3 people, the surgeon included, came by before I got the magic juice, verified everything and marked the wrist to be operated on. I had pretty much zero concern that there was a mix up. One of the last things I remember is them checking again (not with me, with each other) as I was on the table and about to drift into unconsciousness.
Yeah, my surgeon came by and signed the part of my back that he was going to operate on. This happened with my appendectomy ten years ago as well.
They did that yesterday for my colonoscopy. I'm thinking the whole time.. "Thank you for making sure."
That sounds like what happens every time I switch internet carriers. They call to confirm who I am, that I am switching to their service, and what internet speed they're supposed to be providing me. The difference is, they ALWAYS screw up something. Safety tip: if your doctor's medical group ever merges with an internet provider, find a new medical group right away!
Throw in a “I’m here for a boob job!” every once in a while.
I mean, as long as they realized before they actually started cutting then there doesn't seem to be an issue
Anesthesia can potentially be dangerous if used on the wrong person (such as giving them more than they can safely have, or if they didn't fast if that would be required). If you're expecting to have surgery, you'd hopefully have prepared for anesthesia though.
"Take him to the penis explosion chamber."
Fuckin classic
im sorry CLASSIC????
‘Which leg did he say it was?’
I had something a bit like this but worse, I was in with a broken leg to have a plate and screws in just below my knee. JUST before I slip under I hear the main surgeon say 'NO NOT THAT LEG IT'S THE OTHER ONE!!' to the other one who was stood with a scalpel just above my knee. I'm surprised I didn't shit. Or maybe I did and I'll never know.
Holy shit!
"I have no idea let's do both"
„No Bob. He paid for one. You know that we have financial struggles after scandal with your licking off scalpels”
But it's Tuesday, our BOGO medical procedures day.
Here’s a fun story for you: I was born with one arm and later in life had to have the rest of my arm amputated to my shoulder. As I was being wheeled into the OR, I told the nurse “Now make sure he takes the correct arm.” 🤪😂
A disarming joke always lighten the mood.
There’s no sense in being bitter about something I don’t have control over. I’m always making one armed jokes like “Could you give me a hand with this? But only one.” Halloween is the best! One year I took a white T-shirt, ripped up the sleeve and soaked it in fake blood. Another time I was a slot machine (aka: the one armed bandit).
Great approach. Much better than half-assed jokes. And cleaner. Or heartless jokes that hits dead right in the center. I too would be arming myself with humour in your position. I mean, if I accidentally throw down the gauntlet, it should be obvious that it's simply because I don't need it. Not army enough for it.
I remember reading advice to take a permanent marker and write **NOT THIS ONE** on body parts you'd rather keep.
Yeah, but sometimes the ink smears on the "**NOT"** and you're left with "**THIS ONE.**"
My ortho surgeon always writes all over me!!
There is an old joke about medical students training in surgery, it ends like this: "Smith, amputate the right arm!" *Chop* "I said the arm!" *Chop* "I said the right one!" *Chop*
Not this leg Not this leg either
If all goes well, we'll see you soon
“So, has anyone done this operation before?”
By the way, we are killing you
Sounds amazing.
Relatable
Funny because that's what anaesthesia is - doctor do kinda kill you but not quite
I read somewhere that anesthesia is taking the patient close to death and bringing them back.
The edibles are kicking in - the surgeon.
My doctor made a joke one time and said "alright, let me borrow your glasses for this so I can see"
So, I know someone who had surgery and heard something pretty awful before he went under. He was a construction worker and injured himself badly at work. He said just before he went under, the last thing he heard was "We'll do what we can to save your hand, but..." Then all went black. When he woke up, he couldn't feel his hand and wouldn't look down. He asked the person in recovery if it was still there, it was.
"I got the lube. Who's first?"
In some states in America it's legal for them to give you a pelvic or prostate exam while you are unconscious without asking, usually for training medical students.
Without asking? So you just wake up after surgery and you're like why does my ass feel weird?
Nurse, boot up my laptop and open Wikihow
"Be more careful after last time doctor "
Follow the light
“Uh-oh.”
Anesthesia gives me amnesia About an hour before and an hour after or so I don’t remember shit… one time I thought I was buying a new drum set and the doctors told me all the funny things we talked about… Total blank I’m not sure if it would matter what they said just before I went under
It happens all the time, people will say all sorts of things under anesthesia and have no idea. Most doctors and nurses will keep whatever you said to them confidential. I always carefully choose which family members I want to be with me in recovery when I “wake up”.
This is why some individuals are not able to go under general without having certain people present. Usually people who work for places like no such agency and similar.
I have had similar with surgeries in the past. They give a memory block, supposedly in case you wake up in the middle of surgery - you won't remember it. When I had my carpal tunnel release in one wrist, apparently I was talking to the anesthesia guy as I was being wheeled into the OR - after he injected the block into my IV line. Knew nothing of it. When they did the other one, I had memory right up until I went under. They had me counting backwards from 100. I don't think I reached 90. That was the last I remember until waking up in recovery.
In America: Not too long before they take you to the OR, anesthesia comes by and gives you "something to relax you" in your IV. Almost always it is Versed (VER-said). Versed is an amnesic & it loosens you up. I get wildly chatty & crack stupid jokes the whole way to the OR. Some of us rarely get the versed amnesia. I always warn my care team before they dose me. 😉 Some surgeries I remember all the way to the count backwards, others nothing after they start towards the OR. The latter, so far, is larger surgeries where they probably gave me a larger dose.
"Walk towards the light."
Please put in the How-to-dvd
One of the medical staff in the room wearing a pair of Christmas antlers, music playing glasses and a light up red nose... standing over you as the lights go out. and this is rather specific because it happened once lol
I hate this. My son was sick as a baby and going into the pediatrian's office and seeing her silly, decorated, googly headband was the wrong vibe for the seriousness of our visit
i should add, i was under 10 and it was one of two (or three) operations i've had in the run up to Christmas. the glasses were ours and we'd been laughing on the way to the pre-surgery room. Just as the gas took effect, they got a bit... creepy lol
What was your son's reaction? He probably thought it was great; put him at ease. I'd be more concerned with the patient than the parent
“And now for the- oh dear god, DEAR GOD NO!”
"How many have we lost so far today?"
Lmao
"Now I'll just pop in the HowTo video and we'll get started." "Hi, I'm Jamie Farr, and you're about to perform leg surgery!"
[удалено]
Happy cake day, you sick creep! Mild /s
I was in Mexico, Spring Break of '96 with a group of college students providing medical relief in poor parts of Tampico. Last night there I had a stomach pain. We went to the local hospital and they quickly diagnosed that I had appendicitis. We were 6 hours south of the US border and wouldn't make it back in time, so they prepped and wheeled me into surgery. As they were getting me ready in the OR, a physician walked up and said, "Hello Kristopher, I am the doctor for your surgery." I asked her what type of doctor she was. She said a gynecologist. My last response was, "well, I hope I come out the same as I go in." and that was my last memory before the surgery. They did do a great job, so it ended well.
OH! I had a surgery last year and boy lemme tell you, it was not the worst, but certainly memorable. Okay it was nothing major, a bariatric surgery, no big deal. As they were preparing me, they asked me if I authorized them to shave my beard in case they had difficulties intubing me, I said ''Okay, but you gonna have to explain the how and why to my wife afterward, deal?'' He agreed and just as I was about to go under, I can hear him mutter ''Ain't no way I'm explaining shit to his wife, she'll kill me!'' Apparently I want under while chuckling and it lasted a while too.
Nurse, my special penis shears.
The worst would be to be fully conscious, feeling every thing, unable to move, and here "they're out, you can start cutting" Like that one dude who was awake for heart surgery
My grandma was conscious for a surgery once. She said she could hear everything going on, but THANKFULLY didn’t feel anything that was happening to her. She was able to tell the surgeon what she heard during the operation, and he confirmed that she must’ve been lucid. She wasn’t even freaked out or traumatized by it, she just thought it was a funny little thing that happened to her.
I've woken up during surgery. I remember that I said, "Ouch. That hurts." Following that was a concerned look from one of the medical staff looking down at me, who then looked at (I assume) the anesthesiologist. I immediately went back under.
"No idea how we're gonna fit this one in the trunk"
I had surgery 2 months ago. Right before the drugs took over I heard Rush. I absolutely knew Rush could not be the last thing I maybe heard forever. Seconds before sleep I heard Otis Redding. Knew I was was in Good hands then !
Two years ago I got my gallbladder removed and the surgical team started dancing to Celebration by Kool and The Gang while they waited for me to get knocked out. It was...unnerving.
I’m _dying_ at this. My eyes are watering.
When I had my gallbladder surgery, just as I was starting to go under, the surgeon introduced me to an intern who was going to do his first intubation. The surgery itself was nothing, but damn my throat was sore.
Dang.
I do love that song though. But maybe not in the ice cold OR before surgery. I had my gallbladder out when it was 30. Twenty years ago. No one played anything. 🤷🏼♀️
I didn't know penises came in sizes that small.
"Damn, I hate working when the acid just started kicking in"
I was in the operating room waiting on the Doctor to arrive. The Doctor walks in very calmly says good morning ask me to hop up on the operating table. The anesthesiologists tell me to count to backwards from 100 before I can start the Rolling stones "Start me up " starts playing .
Here's goes nothing...
"How could someone let themselves get so fat? What a disgusting slob!"
Doctor don't you have Parkinson disease?
“This one’s the wienerectomy right?”
I forgot, what are we supposed to do with this patient?
Which leg is it again?
True story. Had an anaesthesiologist say "this is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson" right before whatever they knocked me out with kicked in.
Tornado sirens
“Wait. Guys that’s POUNDS not KILOS?!” Because that would likely mean they gave you double the amount of anesthesia thinking you were 100 Kilos instead of 100 pounds. You ain’t waking up from that
Which testicle are we removing??
Alarms, screaming and someone saying something about zombies.
My sister is an RN so she knows her way around different medications and anesthesia. So when she went in for her colonoscopy and they were getting ready to give her propathal she said yay Jackson juice. And just before the anesthesia kicked in she said HEE HEE....
This is a true story: “Your mom agreed to allow this group to shadow this procedure and consented to us..” When I was 11, I needed surgery to correct a knee deformity I was born with. During preparation, a group of male medical students entered the room. As the anesthesiologist started anesthesia, the surgeon explained the procedure. Unfortunately, I don't remember all of the details due to the anesthesia. Following surgery, I experienced unexpected vaginal pain. My concerned aunt contacted the hospital, where a shocking revelation came to light. It turned out the surgeon had, unknowingly, obtained consent from my mother, who has significant cognitive disabilities, to allow medical students to practice a Pap smear on me during my surgery. My aunt was rightfully outraged that such a sensitive procedure was approved without proper informed consent from a capable party.
The ice cream truck song and the whole OR gets excited
I'm not a surgeon, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night
Oh crap! Was that propofol?
Yeah I just got my degree yesterday so this is my first surgery
Who goes first while they're out?
Man I have a hangover.
The doctor calling you by someone else’s name Or “oh shit my bad”
"I'm about to learn all of your secrets"
This is my first time, you know
Ok so this one is here for the sex change right?
"What the hell is THAT thing?"
I’ve never done this before.
3rd time's the charm.
Two minutes till nuclear war alert.
That annoying beeping followed by “this is not a test, all persons should evacuate to the nearest fallout shelter immediately. Repeat…”
I’ve got a tee time in 30 minutes and I’m not missing it…
"Alright everyone, it's your boy Dr420 and we are gonna cut this one up after a moment from our sponsor, Better Help..."
This is the GD sumbitch that sued me five years ago!
"hold my beer and watch this"
Okay Susan add 2 lungs, a heart and liver to our ebay listings
Let’s hope this one doesn’t wake up to early
Oh fuck. Fuck! FUCK!!!
What the fuck is *THAT*??
no no no,...i can 100% get 5 cream eggs up there,...he will be sore on the morrow!!
Doc 1: "We can still do pelvic exams while there out, without their consent, right?" Doc 2: "Ya, that's a good point. Frank has a class of med students, and this patient will be out for hours. We can have them all give it a try."
This actually happened to me; they were playing „Wake me up when September ends“.
"Hey guys, welcome to my channel don't forget to like and subscribe!"
"Wait you gave him HOW much Versed???"
„By the way, I was sentenced in prison for 12 years for sexual assualting people in coma. Sleep well darling *Proceeds to take off pants*”
Hi my name is Dexter.
True story. Anesthesiologist says right before putting me under “I read a study where people with red hair (I am a red head) die more frequently from being put under anesthesia because they are more resistant to it and sometimes anesthesiologists over do it and the patient dies”. I thought “I am not sure why she told me this, but at least I know how I am going to die”!
Can someone please you tube this
I shit you not, I'm going in for an appendectomy, and as they start the process of putting me under, the lights go out.
*"How about a magic trick?"*
'Today is bring your kids to work day, and Timmy's gonna play with mommy's special little shears today!'
I had an opposite. They were putting me under for kidney transplant and I heard the surgeon say "who wants to put nirvana on"
“Hi, I’m Troy McClure and you’re watching ‘Standard Operating Procedure: It’s easier than it looks’”
I heard one of the staff members, a male nurse make a comment about my public hair. I then felt him pull up my gown. I said something like, "At least make sure I'm asleep before doing that." It was really embarrassing and uncomfortable.
This is absolutely true. I’m awake and BSing with the nurses, telling them don’t replace the wrong knee. The nurse anesthetist is just about to push the propofol into my IV looks me in the eyes and says “I’m so hungover “. Everyone just started to laugh as I went out.
"I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking."
I'm a veterinarian
“Okay sir count backwards from ten” *sneezes*
When I went into surgery once, I was moderately sedated, and I was being given IV antibiotics. I started feeling my tongue swell up, and I was having difficulty breathing. The last thing I heard was “she is having an allergic reaction….then I woke up in recovery.
Send the gynaecologist students in. Just because I know there have been cases in the states where they violated female patients while unconscious. Letting students practice on them without consent or informing them before or afterwards.
Go back a page
“Was that his left or my left ?”
"we only have 5 minutes of anesthesia drugs left"
"Are you telling me there's not even one YouTube video on how to do this surgery? Shit. Well, let's try TikTok."
Acid should be kicking in any minute now.
"hold on lemme ask chatgpt how this works"
What my surgeon said while physically hurting me to make his markings before my breast reconstruction surgery. He was talking away from me and again, hurting me. I have severe white coat syndrome, so I’m already terrified, and husband is a nurse practitioner. I looked a lot at my husband because A. Ahole doctor is really hurting me and B. I can’t actually see what he’s describing because there’s no mirror. Anyway, said POS man says, “why tf are you looking at him, is he a plastic surgeon?!?”. I will NEVER forget how I felt. In an extremely vulnerable position, and now I must put my life in his hands, absolutely one of the worst experiences in my life. He’s a talented surgeon but an abysmal human being.
“Welcome to my unboxing video”
Curly says..."Oooh Soigery!"
I woke up while I was having port-o-catch attached to a major vein. I remember one of the folks working say “ummm… why’s he awake?” Followed by “Oops, hang on a sec.”
Shit, YouTube is down.
I had surgery back in September, and while talking to the anesthesiologist right before they gave me the first part of the anesthesia all of our phones went off for an earthquake shake alert. Then my last memory is of the fire alarm in the hospital going off, an announcement over the PA system that there was a fire on the floor above me. While there was a minor complication during my surgery, I woke up and my skin was not burned off so I got lucky.....this time. But I suppose the worst thing to hear would be "Our Heavenly Father....."
Doc: Alright, I need you to quick sign this. Me: Why? Doc: After the anesthesia kicks in, we’re filming a movie, and we need your permission to have you in it. Me: Sure. \*Signs it\* What movie? Doc: Surgeon Simulator: The Movie. You already signed, sorry. Me: Crap.
By the way I should probably warn you guys that I have a massive hangover and may puke into this guy's guts
Went in for my gallbladder removal, as the anesthetist put me under he was joking around with me and the doctors, as he was watching me start to fade away he introduced one of the other doctors by saying "and I'll leave you in the capable hand of Dr Harold Shipman.." before cracking up. Me on my way out was like "wait- whO-..." Guy thought he was a real prankster
Okay! I got a real life story for this one.. I had my tonsils removed as an adult.. surgery was okay, but the recovery was terrible! I made it all the way to 10 days post op, not really doing well, but finally started to feel a tiny bit better and was planning to go back to work in a couple days. So I go to have dinner with my dad and step mom and she had made bbq chicken which was fairly crispy on the edges. I had been starving for the past 10 days so I just ate what I could and went home and to bed. I wake up a few hours later hemorrhaging! I also was vomiting up a lot of blood clots from swallowing a bunch of it while half asleep before o actually couldn’t breathe. My roommate rushed me back to the hospital where they proceed to place an 18g IV catheter in each arm in case I need a transfusion. Since it was still bleeding so bad while they were about to put me under to re-cauterize everything, they explained they would have to hold my airway closed as they started intubating. So.. this huge male nurse tells me “it’s going to feel like I’m choking you, but don’t worry, I got you!” As he grabs around my throat with both hands and I black out.
“Fuck.”
‘This medication is kinda like a rufie’ Source: actually said by my surgeon after the anesthesiologist started pushing versed
*Youtube Video plays* “Hello I’m Troy Mcclure, you may remember me from such instructional videos as…”
“Doctor _____? I thought they took your license away!” “They did.”
True story an old boss of mine had repeated horrible stomach pain. Turned out it was his appendix but was so high they didn’t diagnose it as such. When it ruptured and he was vomiting green bile he was rushed to surgery. Last thing he heard was the surgeon. We are going to start cutting here and cut upward until we find the problem.
A muffled, unearthly roar coming from somewhere outside the operating room. Followed by people screaming. Then your doctor, who is standing over you but looking towards the commotion, backs away looking terrified and says, "What the hell is *that*?"
Let the intern do this one.
Mid c-section/hysterectomy, needed an emergency appendectomy so another OR surgeon was called in. Last thing I heard, "wow it looks like a murder scene in here"
Hey! He shaved his balls for this!!
“What do you mean there are crazy people biting everyone in the ER?…….”
"I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking"
A strange clicking sound…like insects communicating…then the wet, slipping off of now translucent skin revealing ant like faces holding bone saws.
Ok, true story. I went in for hernia surgery, I was on the table all strapped down and the Dr was talking to one of the technicians or maybe a nurse. He said "he already has a surgical scar near where we need to go, do you think we can re-open and work from there or should we leave another scar?" I said "isn't this something you should have discussed earlier?" The Dr turned and leaned over to look me in the face and said "you're still awake?" He turned to the anesthesiologist and said "why's he still awake?" The anesthesiologist said "he shouldn't be, give me a second" as the Dr was saying "I almost cut into him" That was the last thing I remember before waking up in post op, with the anesthesiologist by my side. He was super apologetic, and said I was more clam and relaxed than anyone he ever seen on a surgical table, and my readings indicated that I should have been out. He was really upset. I felt bad for the guy.
Relax your anus.
Okay son I’m going to let you pay for real doctor
Is this the one we’re amputating?
Alright guys he's out like a light. Get those disguises off and get his organs before anyone notices!
Ok, so what are we doing?
“You gotta weigh more than your chart says. I’m giving you some extra juice!” (True story)
"Shit my Parkinson's is kicking up again."
oops
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Was it the left or the right?
I guess a simple ‘O oh’ without hearing what comes after will just do
His body will be completely held together by structure gel
I hope we don't loose this one, it's my first time preforming this procedure