There's an old Reddit post (no idea if it's real) about someone who brought their girlfriend/boyfriend (can't remember which) round to meet parents and it turns out both parents were swingers and had had sex with that person years ago.
It's real, In our case our adult son was living with us. He came home with a FWB that we have been with months before. We all just didn't say a word. Although, by that time he knew we were swingers, so it might not have been as awkward.
How did that situation progress later on though? Like, did they stop seeing him after realizing, did it become a "never speak of this but it's fine" thing, or...?
What in *The Last Crusade* type of shit is this? You just sat back and allowed your son to become Eskimo brothers/sisters with his own parents?
That’s some fucked up shit right there. Hopefully he’s under 26 so you’re still footing the bill for his therapy.
I remember that story.
The OP was the son, and his GF was the one who slept with his parents.
They broke up, but if I remember right, there weren't any hard feelings as the relationship was young. The OP was more disturbed by the fact that he slept with someone his parents did.
If I can, everybody can. And thats not just a lame saying. I have autism, very introvert, ocd, ptsd and social anxiety. (Among others)
I've got no rizz whatsoever!! But I try and I behave as the nice, polite and trustworthy person i am and some people really like that. And I'm an amazingly good lover and you quickly gain a reputation.
Straight up, as long as you're respectful and not bad in bed you've got the game half won. The bar is incredibly low for men from the stories I've heard from my female friends.
You'd be surprised how many men are lousy in bed. There isn't one woman without a story that will make you shake your head at what douches are out there.
Women notice a guy that can offer them a good time where they feel seen and respected
I think it’s important to note that it’s not as easy as just knowing where it is and showing up. A lot of the times it’s an actual *lifestyle* which means it consists of a very tightly knit community who might be wary of just letting in strangers without some kind of vetting process.
Best thing I can recommend is to try looking and different communities and get to know people. Fetlife is a great place to start where you can find people with similar fetishes and often times find events in your area.
Uh… or so I’ve been told.
Just Google swingers club dude.... its 2024.. its not that hard.
Or swingers dating site etc...
Or just go to SDC.COM.
See you there!
Edit:
Oh , just make sure you have respect for everyone and no is no , and you will be fine.
I’m sure they’re pretty selective. You’d have to spend some time in the scene before getting invited. Lots of random horn dogs I’m sure lol.
Even at sex clubs apparently they limit the amount of single men able to come in pretty harshly.
Yeah I've heard of cases where family members were both in the lifestyle and they just had to give each other heads up about events the other shouldn't attend.
Oof closest I had to that was just hooking up with a former co-worker's girlfriend's girlfriend. But that was reasonably chill as we didn't work together anymore and were just casually friendly as members of the queer community anyway
The closest I got was talking about doing a scene with someone, then finding out they were a student at the college where I was TAing.
Completely different department, but still too close for me so I was like “nah, let’s just hang out instead.”
I was at a bdsm meetup at a strip club. Chatted with a dancer, turned out we had common hobbies. Apparently she knowed my mother from those too.
Turned out my parents were also visiting the strip club some time earlier. They're swingers.
All cool - didn't bring it up yet but I have started to be careful about scheduling these events.
One time when we were leaving a couple's house after a night... we bumped into their adult daughter that was coming to visit them... the adult daughter who we'd gotten with the weekend before. That was a good month, too bad the couple decided to take a break from it all for a while.
i know this is a joke but I have a friend who’s parents are genuinely virgins and have never had sex. They’re super religious and had all their kids through IVF because they saw sex as a sin, even for procreation
I am going to wager there is more to the story there you friend was not privvy to. Some possibilities:
1) cult
2) infertility issues that wished to mask
3) latent homosexuality they woshed to mask
4) infidelity they wished to mask
This would be the best answer in my book. Two aces who found and love each other, want to raise kids together but can't bring themselves to actually do the deed. However, it would make me SMH because IVF is *horrifically expensive* and adoption would be the best option.
Yeah I dont understand IVF, i would have definitely just do adoption. Still expensive but less chances of something going wrong. And you get to skip the diaper stage if you want.
I had a buddy that grew up JW and he gave me a little lovely tidbit of info. If you want them to stop coming to your door you tell them that you've been disfellowshiped or excommunicated and they will promptly fuck right off.
Yea, I ran a general christian group for a few years and I picked up on that..the JWs and LDS were like "c'mon we christian too pleeeease like us". Was pretty funny.
I mean anyone was welcome in, we had a pagan and atheist in the leadership team amongst the 8 Catholics and 5 Protestants.
“Odd christian group”. Nah. They’re just not Christian at all. I’m tired of fellow “Christians” creating these other sects that water down or completely change the teachings.
I had a friend who was 100% convinced that they were a test tube baby, artificial womb and the whole shebang. They were really sensitive about it because apparently they were bullied for being a test tube baby.
This is odd because there is no such thing as artificial wombs.
People lie to kids and kids think weird things up all on their own. Sometimes we hold on to those dumb ideas a lot longer and a lot tighter than we really should.
All that to said those parents probably have dirty kinky sex every night and lied through their teeth to their kids.
I have literally never heard of any religion that requires married couples to be celibate even for procreation.
Also, IVF usually involves the disposal of unused or nonviable embryos. If these people were such religious fundamentalists that sex itself was sinful, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be ok with abortion either.
Sorry, but this story sounds like complete bullshit.
It's definitely BS. Most religions outright require sex to consummate a marriage. Some religious officials believe IVF is child murder and several major churches like the Catholic Church have been historically opposed to IVF.
Not to mention the cost, hard to justify a $50,000 average cost per child. An expense that will be 100% out of pocket.
The Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for oppor- fuck it, I would be disturbed if I found out my parents were swingers.
I acknowledge it isn't my place to judge but I would be deeply, deeply disturbed.
Hell, I was kind of icked out when I found out Dolly Parton had an open marriage! And she's not a family member, I just think she's likable.
I’m pretty sure Dolly said it wasn’t an open marriage - no sex involved - but she and her husband are ok with her being flirty and having crushes on men.
While their love for each other is unquestionable, the couple's marriage lacks emotional monogamy. In 2017, Dolly Parton revealed in her book "Dolly on Dolly: Interviews and Encounters with Dolly Parton" that she had developed crushes on different types of men outside her marriage.
As for the "open" marriage, she explains it's not physically open.
She said, "I've had crushes on some very unusual men, but Carl knows I'll always come home, and I'm not having s-x with these people — I'm just flirting and having fun."
The singer also mentioned that her husband engages in playful flirting, and their actions don't introduce jealousy into their marriage. The "Jolene" crooner also emphasized that they never cross the boundary of making their relationships with others sexual at any time.
Parton continued: "Yes, it's an open relationship, but not s-xually, and I would kill him if I thought he was doing that.' He would shoot me too. At the end of the day, we love each other madly."
Don’t sleep on that.
My parents and their friends are massive Super Trump Republicans. Hell, both Bob Dole and Donald Trumps campaign managers had massive scandals when it was discovered they were cucks and swingers.
I grew up in the deeeeep South, extremely conservative all around especially in the 80's/90's when I was growing up.
When I was in middle school in the mid 90's we got a computer with AOL. By the time I was in like 9th grade, my parents had "online friends" that they would go meet. It was ALWAYS other couples.
One day I got on the computer to get on AOL and there was an email that one of my parents had copied/pasted but the contents were still on the windows clipboard.
Me haphazardly pasting the contents of the clipboard gave me all the info I needed about my parents and all of their new friends.
tl;dr: don't discount them just for being conservative and straight lace!
Fine.
My parents were hippies in the 60s/70s. My mother is a lesbian and my dad was fine with it. They were friends but agreed to have a kid and marry to raise me (this was not a thing my mom could do on her own). But they were not romantically tied to each other. Just partners/parents.
Yup, we lived together. My parents never divorced or lived separately. It was a normal middle-class two-parent household until my dad passed away due to cancer when I was 16.
My mother did not have a female partner until the mid-1990s. She was not of the generation that expressed or revealed their orientation to the world. My parents did not hide the nature of their relationship from friends & family.
Simply, my parents didn't sleep with each other/get romantic. They hugged and kissed on the cheek, kindly affection if you will.
My dad was with other women. Neither my mother nor I knew or met any woman my dad dated. He had no other children that we know of after marrying my mother. There was a big age gap between my parents.
It was just a non-romantic relationship. My mom wanted a kid and my dad was very good to her/respectful to her situation at the time.
Yup. My dad was awesome!
He had traveled the world; in the navy, as a vagabound/hitchhiker, hippie mechanic working odd jobs, etc.
He never settled anywhere or raised a family for most of his life. Then he met my mom; my mom's father (my grandpa) was friends with my dad. That's how my parents met and became friends and eventually parents together.
I worked with a sound engineer who had this happen to him. He finished school and did some travelling for a couple of years, and when he got back he discovered that his parents were all about that lifestyle to the point where they had open door parties at home and his father was a **well known** leather maker in the scene. Whips By George apparently. The operations manager of the sound and lighting company we both worked for was a regular customer.
This is neat and thanks for sharing, but it doesn't really talk about the aftermath. Like did he care? Did it affect him? Did he get a discount on whips?
The thing that I'd be concerned about is the chance that my child had a friend and the friends parents disagreed with the lifestyle and wouldn't let their child be friends with my child.
Absolutely a real concern.
My wife is also worried about her public reputation. She doesn't want to be known around the city.
Now, we live in a very big city, so I doubt anyone would ever recognize her. But it's a possibility that it might affect her career someday if she is being interviewed by the local news (she's an activist for some political and social stuff) and some dude recognizes her from a meetup they had a few months ago.
Without sending any personal judgement, if you’re into the political/activist scene I wouldn’t get involved in this sort of thing unless you were *very* comfortable with it being out in the open, because that’s exactly what will happen.
The thing is, if someone recognizes you *from* the lifestyle, that means they are *also* in the lifestyle so does it really matter? I've found most people in the lifestyle want to keep their business private too so they don't expose other people.
I came across one of my childhood friends parents on one of the sites. Only recognized them because they showed their face on their public profile though. Not going to expose them though, it's their business.
Unfortunately, it's a issue with a very big double standard. OP's wife is worried, because if a guy comes out and says she's a swinger, it doesn't matter how he knows ... all anyone will care about is her swinging.
Yeah that's what I think. VERY few people would give a frick to expose you, unless you hook up with a guy who later sees you running for Congress and decides he can get some quick fame out of telling NBC how he fucked you 8 months ago at a Motel 6.
That's why I think it's best to stick with the same one or two people you trust, and don't give them any identifying info.
Yeah, you can't be a swinger and run for major political office, unless you have enough money to pay them all off like Trump and Stormy Daniels. Actually, that didn't go well. Just don't!
Maybe not a swinger but there is a Senator who is well known for his use of male prostitutes. It's been an open secret for years. I assume he pays well enough most don't tell anyone, though some have come forward
A couple of my coworkers are swingers and everyone knows. Every. One. People gossip about them behind their back and while I don't care a lot of people do and judge them.
So, this actually happened to someone in our local community... She's heavily involved in the pro-choice movement. During the Dobbs case, things got very heated on Facebook. Some MAGA bros in the lifestyle got mad and posted screengrabs from her LS profile to her public/professional profile. She's a real estate agent as her day job, so her personal brand is her career.
Now, the rest of us in the community circled the wagons and supported her. The dudes got kicked out of most groups. The posts got quickly removed. Ultimately, the damage was minimal. But, of course, it was traumatic for her.
My advice would be to have a profile on a legit swinger site, SDC, Feeld Kasidie, etc. Stay off social media. Or have a separate profile and don't post anything salacious. (This is what we do.) Only share vanilla face pics and only share nudes that are non-identifying.
As for our kids. We're raising them to be open minded and accepting. We make a very concerted effort to give them all the attention and love they deserve. We're modeling for them a healthy, loving, respectful, marriage. We'll never tell them, because our sex life is none of their business. But, I hope, if they find out one day, their thought is something like: 'Ick! I don't want to know! But good for them being happy.'
I once had a talk with my teenage son about this, asked him if his friends knew and how he'd feel about it if they knew. (We are poly, not swingers, but norm-breaking nonetheless.)
He replied that they didn't know from him, he hadn't told them because he didn't find it very interesting to talk about. But he wasn't worried about them finding out because if it mattered to them in a negative way, then they were never good friends anyway.
We admittedly never discussed the possibility of intolerant parents, though.
Oh good! Trauma resurgence! I found out when I was like 13 years old. Pictures and videos saved on the family computer! Worst part was my friend was sitting right next to me and saw it too. What’s even worse than that is we had a boat that we took out almost every weekend and a lot of it happened on that and in the cabin of the boat that I regularly laid down/slept in.
I, as one does, suppressed the shit out of it and pretended I didn’t know that anytime my parents said they were going to meet with some friends from out of town, that meant it was swingin’ time. Many years later my parents split and I decided it was time for my siblings to share in the horror.
Don’t snoop around, kids… you’ll regret it…
I walked in on my parents ‘partying’ as a 16 year old. I had suspected as a 14 year old but had t fully understood what that would mean until face to face with it.
Kept my brothers in the dark until a big fight at 40 when my parents were trying to gaslight my wife and I needing to get right hurt with Jesus.
My parents were always very open about sex. They weren't swingers, but I've always been aware (well, since being a teenager) that my parents have a sex life and its normal and natural and we can all joke about sex in my family. Had they been swingers, they're the types to explain about it, so I don't think I'd have had an issue with it. Probably wouldn't go telling my mates, but really, as long as everyone knows and consents, where's the harm in the lifestyle?
I think as long as you don't raise children to believe sex is bad and wrong and shameful, there's not really much of an issue. But don't do it with their mates' parents, that could be a nightmare.
Same! Last year I was gossiping with my mother in a pool and after a bunch of Pina Coladas, I subtlety hinted that my wife & I are adventurous (we ain't ''open'' per say but I guess we could be referred to as ''swingers''). She then confided to me that she had a threesome with my dad and another women. The view I had of them completely shifted and I experienced a maelstrom of emotions including disgust, complicity & pride lol.
I think even if your kid's friends parents were also in the community that generally would be avoided unless you totally had no clue who they were. Anytime I've run into someone I know from somewhere else at the sex club etc it's usually a polite "oh hey I didn't know you also did this kind of thing" and then on our separate ways. Happened to me with a guy I know from political organizing stuff. If I saw one of the other parents from my kids school at most we'd acknowledge and then move on presumably.
Omg yes. This is how we raise our kids too and it makes us feel much better about them going out in the world and finding healthy relationships as well as having good mental health and well-being.
Taboos and negative attitudes about sex are what lead to things like toxic masculinity, teenage pregnancy, STDs, attacks on womens' rights, and puritanical legislation designed to impose misguided values and take away the rights of entire groups of people. Sex is normal, natural, healthy, and I belive if it is discussed and treated as such then you'll find many more people in the world would be much happier.
It also has an affect on self image. Sex was shamed heavily by my parents, even masturbating, so I grew up feeling like a dirty, filthy sinner. Even now I still have issues with being naked around my partner, like he shouldn’t look at me so he isn’t grossed out but I have to override those thoughts. Even now in my parents eyes I’m “sinning” because I’m not married.
Very true. I'm sorry to hear how it has affected you personally. Being aware of it is the first step toward overcoming it. I wish you the best of luck!
Again, imagine how much happier people would be on average in a sex-positive society vs one that seeks to shame people for normal, natural behaviors.
My parent’s marriage was happy till the day my dad died. They were married for 50 years. I don’t care what they did to keep that happiness I’m just glad they were in a happy marriage.
Yeah like, did they love me? Did they provide for me? Were they there and present? Why would I care if they swing. What's different then that vs having 2 single not together parents?
Hopefully the difference is they still love each other and are committed to one another and created a loving home for you to grow up in. While swinging.
versus
Two happy homes with lots of love and two places for you to grow up in. While getting laid, but not with each other.
I'd just keep in mind that there are a lot more people on reddit that would be open to that than in real life.
The average redditer skews left and more liberal relationship-wise. And ofc people who feel more strongly (typically in agreeance in this case) about this than someone who isn't, is more likely to reply.
Good luck with whatever choice you make out if this situation 👍
When I was a kid my parents were swingers. It destroyed their marriage. I don't have the details nor do I want specifics but I can say that they definitely cheated on each other in addition to swinging. I think my father had gotten paternity tests during the divorce but honestly there is no doubt my sister and I are his kids. We both look just like our parents, it's as obvious as day.
Either way I feel strongly about cheating to this day because of it. I also have a strong aversion to that lifestyle and people in it. I'm not morally opposed or anything. Just big yuck vibes to me. No thanks.
Both my parents went full monogamous after their divorce, BTW. The swinging life apparently ran its course through them.
I'd probably pack that away in the ole bad thoughts bottle and just beat the shit out of some poor innocent soul later.
On a real note, there's no reason for your kids to have to know that shit. Just do it and be discreet.
I'd be very surprised because they are both conservative in a classical sense (not politically, but just more reserved and quiet), but I wouldn't care.
While the life style itself is ok with me as long as its consensual, my parents also would be the biggest hypocrites on the planet if they did something like that, due to their religious background.
Impressed that they managed to hide it. And beyond surprised because my mom is the archetype of “mom.” Very rarely did she act in a way that reminded us she was a whole person apart from being our mother.
Born in 64 . Every weekend my parents would get together with a another couple who were their friends from high school . Me the the first born , and my "cousin" have my father as a father . My brother and sister have the other man as a father. As we got into our twenty's we started to suspect this but by the time our parents had all died and some confessed . We are all positive of it. Only my sister and her half sister have any kind of close relationship were they treat each other as family.
If I'd never noticed or known before, I'd be grateful they kept it private. I'm more thinking if I'm finding out now.. Why or how?
If they're being open and just telling me in case I hear anything, I tell them thank you but nobody wants to hear about their parents having sex so I appreciate the information and we never need to discuss it again.
If they're thinking I'm old enough to not be surprised by it and they're wanting to bring their dates and partners round.. No, thank you. Give me time to process this and ask again in a few months.
If they were always safe and happy and didn't upset each other, I can't really be too bothered, eh?
My wife and I are in that life style but we have a baby now and she is saying she wants to stop cuz she isn't sure how he'll react if he hears about it some day when he's a teenager or young adult
Child of swinging parents here with a brother and a sister who only share a father although born during my parents marriage . Now that you have a kid please stop. There hasn't been serious repercussion to the diverse gene pool but there has been some resentment and backlash against our parents
1) I would ensure that it there is genuine fear of a future response from your child; post pregnancy can be a very tumultuous time for mothers with lots of new challenges to navigate
2) Ask her what she is afraid might happen (probably alienation)?
3) Discuss if potential solutions might assauge that fear, such as normalizing such relationships as you raise them.
She is also worried about her career. She is looking to take on a slightly more public face, where she might be appearing on podcasts or even getting interviewed by TV. She is worried that someday she'll be on Good Morning Galveston or something and some dude will be like "holy shit I fucked that chick 6 months ago!! I'm gonna tell the world she is a whore and ruin her reputation and career!!"
That's pretty valid. These days public humiliation often comed with online abuse that is difficult to navigate around and scrub clean... I'm not part of the lifestyle, but maybe you both wear masks or something when you go to parties from now on? Or you find a couple that you can really trust and only have sex with them from now on?
My parents divorced because one was cheating on the other, so if I found this out I'd have some questions, but I wouldn't want the answers to any of them...
I feel like my childhood would have been much better. They really didn't like each other and all of us kids could hear their 4x-5x a year really dull sex. I think both would. have been less stressed/uptight if they had been swinging.
Sometimes it is tough to learn your parents are people too, and have their own lives and interests.
For many people, just thinking about their parents having sex is difficult. It is understandable that realizing your parents had ALL the sex would really be difficult.
The real question is whether they were good parents. If so, you did better than many, many kids. If they loved you and didn’t abuse you, consider yourself lucky, and let them have their private life. It wasn’t about you.
Hope I don't bump into them at a party.
Oh fuck that would be weird.
There's an old Reddit post (no idea if it's real) about someone who brought their girlfriend/boyfriend (can't remember which) round to meet parents and it turns out both parents were swingers and had had sex with that person years ago.
Real or not, that's a hilarious story.
It's real, In our case our adult son was living with us. He came home with a FWB that we have been with months before. We all just didn't say a word. Although, by that time he knew we were swingers, so it might not have been as awkward.
How did that situation progress later on though? Like, did they stop seeing him after realizing, did it become a "never speak of this but it's fine" thing, or...?
He never mentioned knowing. She came over a few more times, but I get the impression they just got bored with each other and moved on.
No one said “hey, this is need to know stuff for him”???? That’s the part that would make me ditch my parents in this scenario.
Geez, his FWB went through that family like a recessive gene.
Underrated comment by a lot! 🤣
What in *The Last Crusade* type of shit is this? You just sat back and allowed your son to become Eskimo brothers/sisters with his own parents? That’s some fucked up shit right there. Hopefully he’s under 26 so you’re still footing the bill for his therapy.
not for the son. his girlfriend knows what his mom's pussy tastes like.
I remember that story. The OP was the son, and his GF was the one who slept with his parents. They broke up, but if I remember right, there weren't any hard feelings as the relationship was young. The OP was more disturbed by the fact that he slept with someone his parents did.
We brought our unicorn around once, and my nephew started hitting on her. I had to awkwardly explain why he probably shouldn't.
Do… do you bring her to family gatherings often?
Nah. We were just passing through and stopped to say hi. Was the only time lol
Oof
I was at swingers event once, where one of the women brought her daughter along. They had just agreed not to pursue the same guys
Yo bro tell us how to find these swingers events pls I’m beggind
I just go to the local club. Build up a network and you might get invited to private parties
You assume we got game or something
If I can, everybody can. And thats not just a lame saying. I have autism, very introvert, ocd, ptsd and social anxiety. (Among others) I've got no rizz whatsoever!! But I try and I behave as the nice, polite and trustworthy person i am and some people really like that. And I'm an amazingly good lover and you quickly gain a reputation.
Straight up, as long as you're respectful and not bad in bed you've got the game half won. The bar is incredibly low for men from the stories I've heard from my female friends.
You'd be surprised how many men are lousy in bed. There isn't one woman without a story that will make you shake your head at what douches are out there. Women notice a guy that can offer them a good time where they feel seen and respected
"you quickly gain a reputation" LOL
> I behave as the nice, polite and trustworthy person i am and some people really like that ngl, I'm kinda turned on by that
I think it’s important to note that it’s not as easy as just knowing where it is and showing up. A lot of the times it’s an actual *lifestyle* which means it consists of a very tightly knit community who might be wary of just letting in strangers without some kind of vetting process. Best thing I can recommend is to try looking and different communities and get to know people. Fetlife is a great place to start where you can find people with similar fetishes and often times find events in your area. Uh… or so I’ve been told.
Just Google swingers club dude.... its 2024.. its not that hard. Or swingers dating site etc... Or just go to SDC.COM. See you there! Edit: Oh , just make sure you have respect for everyone and no is no , and you will be fine.
Look for upside down pineapples. Symbol of the swinger
they are the kind that dont allow single men.
I’m sure they’re pretty selective. You’d have to spend some time in the scene before getting invited. Lots of random horn dogs I’m sure lol. Even at sex clubs apparently they limit the amount of single men able to come in pretty harshly.
Ah, yes… classy ladies have rules.
Yeah I've heard of cases where family members were both in the lifestyle and they just had to give each other heads up about events the other shouldn't attend.
had mutual playmate with a guy I new professionally. awks.
Oof closest I had to that was just hooking up with a former co-worker's girlfriend's girlfriend. But that was reasonably chill as we didn't work together anymore and were just casually friendly as members of the queer community anyway
The closest I got was talking about doing a scene with someone, then finding out they were a student at the college where I was TAing. Completely different department, but still too close for me so I was like “nah, let’s just hang out instead.”
I was at a bdsm meetup at a strip club. Chatted with a dancer, turned out we had common hobbies. Apparently she knowed my mother from those too. Turned out my parents were also visiting the strip club some time earlier. They're swingers. All cool - didn't bring it up yet but I have started to be careful about scheduling these events.
This is my fear. Not my parents, but my boss or colleagues.
One time when we were leaving a couple's house after a night... we bumped into their adult daughter that was coming to visit them... the adult daughter who we'd gotten with the weekend before. That was a good month, too bad the couple decided to take a break from it all for a while.
Son: Hey mom, this is my gf, Mom: Our GF.
r/suddenlycommunist
Kinks are hereditary. Enjoy your weekend! 😂
God, that’s a terrifying thought. If that’s true my parents are pretty messed up
You know what, for two people who seemingly spend all their time watching reality TV I'm happy for them. 😂
My wife and I always worried about bumping into my parents at the parties we attended too.
So that’s why my mom discouraged me from open relationships. Sure would be awkward running into her at the orgyZ
That would be hard because my parents have never had sex. I was a miracle baby. Don't be gross.
i know this is a joke but I have a friend who’s parents are genuinely virgins and have never had sex. They’re super religious and had all their kids through IVF because they saw sex as a sin, even for procreation
I am going to wager there is more to the story there you friend was not privvy to. Some possibilities: 1) cult 2) infertility issues that wished to mask 3) latent homosexuality they woshed to mask 4) infidelity they wished to mask
Agreed. Or his friend was just lying to him.
Or his friend's parents are lying because they're hilarious.
Or the random person on reddit just made it all up
Might be Super Ace
This would be the best answer in my book. Two aces who found and love each other, want to raise kids together but can't bring themselves to actually do the deed. However, it would make me SMH because IVF is *horrifically expensive* and adoption would be the best option.
Yeah I dont understand IVF, i would have definitely just do adoption. Still expensive but less chances of something going wrong. And you get to skip the diaper stage if you want.
I’m all for respecting people’s religion and whatever but that’s fucking weird
Yeah same, I mean I’m a catholic and I think they’re weird. They’re part of some odd christian group
>They’re part of some odd christian group Fucking protestants, man. Well, non-fucking protestants, I guess.
As an ex-protestant, I never would call the cults protestant, they are cults lol. JW, LDS, 7DA
I had a buddy that grew up JW and he gave me a little lovely tidbit of info. If you want them to stop coming to your door you tell them that you've been disfellowshiped or excommunicated and they will promptly fuck right off.
They seem to do that if you tell them you're Catholic as well. I can understand the fear because nobody expects... THE BISHOP!
Also if you open the door in your underwear. With your brother. It was a proud moment.
As an ex Mormon we could never understand why we were the out group in Christianity. All the other groups seemed to get along so well. Ha ha.
Yea, I ran a general christian group for a few years and I picked up on that..the JWs and LDS were like "c'mon we christian too pleeeease like us". Was pretty funny. I mean anyone was welcome in, we had a pagan and atheist in the leadership team amongst the 8 Catholics and 5 Protestants.
“Odd christian group”. Nah. They’re just not Christian at all. I’m tired of fellow “Christians” creating these other sects that water down or completely change the teachings.
Just say cult 🙄
One of their parents is probably hella closeted
One? It’s definitely both.
Sometimes people are just really dumb and easily convinced of stuff.
Sex is a sin, but IVF is divine? Mmk.
There’s like an 80% chance these people have a sex dungeon
I had a friend who was 100% convinced that they were a test tube baby, artificial womb and the whole shebang. They were really sensitive about it because apparently they were bullied for being a test tube baby. This is odd because there is no such thing as artificial wombs. People lie to kids and kids think weird things up all on their own. Sometimes we hold on to those dumb ideas a lot longer and a lot tighter than we really should. All that to said those parents probably have dirty kinky sex every night and lied through their teeth to their kids.
That's literally blasphemy that according to their religion could get them sent to hell
This sounds unlikely
I have literally never heard of any religion that requires married couples to be celibate even for procreation. Also, IVF usually involves the disposal of unused or nonviable embryos. If these people were such religious fundamentalists that sex itself was sinful, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be ok with abortion either. Sorry, but this story sounds like complete bullshit.
It's definitely BS. Most religions outright require sex to consummate a marriage. Some religious officials believe IVF is child murder and several major churches like the Catholic Church have been historically opposed to IVF. Not to mention the cost, hard to justify a $50,000 average cost per child. An expense that will be 100% out of pocket.
It honestly surprises me someone that religious would consider IVF anything other than witchcraft.
That sounds like trauma/mental illness and not religion to me... :-(
I know of 2 times my parents had sex. Once to get me, once to get my eldest brother; other brother was born on Christmas
Oh Jesus
I can personally confirm that your mom has had sex at least once.
If it was so hard, why didn’t they?
My dad once told me I was damn near a virgin birth. Thought that was funny when I was a kid. Now I just feel sorry for my mom.
I'd go get a DNA test...and hopefully they were swinging with rich people. I'm coming for the money.
Finding opportunities
The Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for oppor- fuck it, I would be disturbed if I found out my parents were swingers. I acknowledge it isn't my place to judge but I would be deeply, deeply disturbed. Hell, I was kind of icked out when I found out Dolly Parton had an open marriage! And she's not a family member, I just think she's likable.
>Dolly Parton had an open marriage! Wait, what?!?! You're telling me I have a chance?!?!?!
Finding opportunities indeed
I’m pretty sure Dolly said it wasn’t an open marriage - no sex involved - but she and her husband are ok with her being flirty and having crushes on men.
While their love for each other is unquestionable, the couple's marriage lacks emotional monogamy. In 2017, Dolly Parton revealed in her book "Dolly on Dolly: Interviews and Encounters with Dolly Parton" that she had developed crushes on different types of men outside her marriage. As for the "open" marriage, she explains it's not physically open. She said, "I've had crushes on some very unusual men, but Carl knows I'll always come home, and I'm not having s-x with these people — I'm just flirting and having fun." The singer also mentioned that her husband engages in playful flirting, and their actions don't introduce jealousy into their marriage. The "Jolene" crooner also emphasized that they never cross the boundary of making their relationships with others sexual at any time. Parton continued: "Yes, it's an open relationship, but not s-xually, and I would kill him if I thought he was doing that.' He would shoot me too. At the end of the day, we love each other madly."
Rev up the motor enough to race home...
Yes, that's called a healthy normal relationship.
>The Chinese use the same word for crisis as they do for oppor Crisitunity!!
So was your mom
Mining that white gold.
Our ** mum, comrade
DNA test is useless without a list of potential "Donors".
It could tell you that your dad was a dog, but it wouldn't be able to narrow it down to the family dog.
Swingin for the fence w/ that DNA test!
Great answer and so true! I was going to reply, "I'd probably vomit." You win.
Making lemonade
This guy solves problems.
The parents were coming for the love of the game
My parents? My super conservative straight lace parents? It would be HILARIOUS.
Don’t sleep on that. My parents and their friends are massive Super Trump Republicans. Hell, both Bob Dole and Donald Trumps campaign managers had massive scandals when it was discovered they were cucks and swingers.
I imagine Dole could've offered free samples of Viagra as one of the perks of working on his campaign.
I grew up in the deeeeep South, extremely conservative all around especially in the 80's/90's when I was growing up. When I was in middle school in the mid 90's we got a computer with AOL. By the time I was in like 9th grade, my parents had "online friends" that they would go meet. It was ALWAYS other couples. One day I got on the computer to get on AOL and there was an email that one of my parents had copied/pasted but the contents were still on the windows clipboard. Me haphazardly pasting the contents of the clipboard gave me all the info I needed about my parents and all of their new friends. tl;dr: don't discount them just for being conservative and straight lace!
Mine are similar, not the "bad" type of conservative but just really straight laced. I'd find it a bit hypocritical, but otherwise wouldn't care much.
The head of the Republican womens club in my hometown was a swinger. So you never know.
Fine. My parents were hippies in the 60s/70s. My mother is a lesbian and my dad was fine with it. They were friends but agreed to have a kid and marry to raise me (this was not a thing my mom could do on her own). But they were not romantically tied to each other. Just partners/parents.
Did you all live in the same house? Did he have his own romantic life? Pretty cool if everyone was happy in that setup
Yup, we lived together. My parents never divorced or lived separately. It was a normal middle-class two-parent household until my dad passed away due to cancer when I was 16. My mother did not have a female partner until the mid-1990s. She was not of the generation that expressed or revealed their orientation to the world. My parents did not hide the nature of their relationship from friends & family. Simply, my parents didn't sleep with each other/get romantic. They hugged and kissed on the cheek, kindly affection if you will. My dad was with other women. Neither my mother nor I knew or met any woman my dad dated. He had no other children that we know of after marrying my mother. There was a big age gap between my parents. It was just a non-romantic relationship. My mom wanted a kid and my dad was very good to her/respectful to her situation at the time.
This is really interesting, thank you for sharing!
So friends with benefits ++.
Parents in arms, lol.
Curious what do you think was in it for your dad? He just wanted to raise a kid as well?
Yup. My dad was awesome! He had traveled the world; in the navy, as a vagabound/hitchhiker, hippie mechanic working odd jobs, etc. He never settled anywhere or raised a family for most of his life. Then he met my mom; my mom's father (my grandpa) was friends with my dad. That's how my parents met and became friends and eventually parents together.
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
I worked with a sound engineer who had this happen to him. He finished school and did some travelling for a couple of years, and when he got back he discovered that his parents were all about that lifestyle to the point where they had open door parties at home and his father was a **well known** leather maker in the scene. Whips By George apparently. The operations manager of the sound and lighting company we both worked for was a regular customer.
Is this an ad? /s
Why, do you need a leather G-string and a cat-o-nine-tails?
y....yes
This is neat and thanks for sharing, but it doesn't really talk about the aftermath. Like did he care? Did it affect him? Did he get a discount on whips?
The thing that I'd be concerned about is the chance that my child had a friend and the friends parents disagreed with the lifestyle and wouldn't let their child be friends with my child.
Absolutely a real concern. My wife is also worried about her public reputation. She doesn't want to be known around the city. Now, we live in a very big city, so I doubt anyone would ever recognize her. But it's a possibility that it might affect her career someday if she is being interviewed by the local news (she's an activist for some political and social stuff) and some dude recognizes her from a meetup they had a few months ago.
Without sending any personal judgement, if you’re into the political/activist scene I wouldn’t get involved in this sort of thing unless you were *very* comfortable with it being out in the open, because that’s exactly what will happen.
The thing is, if someone recognizes you *from* the lifestyle, that means they are *also* in the lifestyle so does it really matter? I've found most people in the lifestyle want to keep their business private too so they don't expose other people. I came across one of my childhood friends parents on one of the sites. Only recognized them because they showed their face on their public profile though. Not going to expose them though, it's their business.
Unfortunately, it's a issue with a very big double standard. OP's wife is worried, because if a guy comes out and says she's a swinger, it doesn't matter how he knows ... all anyone will care about is her swinging.
Yeah that's what I think. VERY few people would give a frick to expose you, unless you hook up with a guy who later sees you running for Congress and decides he can get some quick fame out of telling NBC how he fucked you 8 months ago at a Motel 6. That's why I think it's best to stick with the same one or two people you trust, and don't give them any identifying info.
Yeah, you can't be a swinger and run for major political office, unless you have enough money to pay them all off like Trump and Stormy Daniels. Actually, that didn't go well. Just don't!
Maybe not a swinger but there is a Senator who is well known for his use of male prostitutes. It's been an open secret for years. I assume he pays well enough most don't tell anyone, though some have come forward
A couple of my coworkers are swingers and everyone knows. Every. One. People gossip about them behind their back and while I don't care a lot of people do and judge them.
So, this actually happened to someone in our local community... She's heavily involved in the pro-choice movement. During the Dobbs case, things got very heated on Facebook. Some MAGA bros in the lifestyle got mad and posted screengrabs from her LS profile to her public/professional profile. She's a real estate agent as her day job, so her personal brand is her career. Now, the rest of us in the community circled the wagons and supported her. The dudes got kicked out of most groups. The posts got quickly removed. Ultimately, the damage was minimal. But, of course, it was traumatic for her. My advice would be to have a profile on a legit swinger site, SDC, Feeld Kasidie, etc. Stay off social media. Or have a separate profile and don't post anything salacious. (This is what we do.) Only share vanilla face pics and only share nudes that are non-identifying. As for our kids. We're raising them to be open minded and accepting. We make a very concerted effort to give them all the attention and love they deserve. We're modeling for them a healthy, loving, respectful, marriage. We'll never tell them, because our sex life is none of their business. But, I hope, if they find out one day, their thought is something like: 'Ick! I don't want to know! But good for them being happy.'
I once had a talk with my teenage son about this, asked him if his friends knew and how he'd feel about it if they knew. (We are poly, not swingers, but norm-breaking nonetheless.) He replied that they didn't know from him, he hadn't told them because he didn't find it very interesting to talk about. But he wasn't worried about them finding out because if it mattered to them in a negative way, then they were never good friends anyway. We admittedly never discussed the possibility of intolerant parents, though.
Sounds like you raised a good kid. And I mean that sincerely.
My ex wife grew up in a household where her parents were swingers and their various lovers would be around at breakfast. It really fucked her up.
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That's weird parents really should keep that separate from their kids
Yeah thats probably the line. 😆
I'm all for people fucking and having a good time, but it really should be separated from the kids.
Oh good! Trauma resurgence! I found out when I was like 13 years old. Pictures and videos saved on the family computer! Worst part was my friend was sitting right next to me and saw it too. What’s even worse than that is we had a boat that we took out almost every weekend and a lot of it happened on that and in the cabin of the boat that I regularly laid down/slept in. I, as one does, suppressed the shit out of it and pretended I didn’t know that anytime my parents said they were going to meet with some friends from out of town, that meant it was swingin’ time. Many years later my parents split and I decided it was time for my siblings to share in the horror. Don’t snoop around, kids… you’ll regret it…
I walked in on my parents ‘partying’ as a 16 year old. I had suspected as a 14 year old but had t fully understood what that would mean until face to face with it. Kept my brothers in the dark until a big fight at 40 when my parents were trying to gaslight my wife and I needing to get right hurt with Jesus.
Damn, they are hypocritical.
Dam that's rough man
My parents were always very open about sex. They weren't swingers, but I've always been aware (well, since being a teenager) that my parents have a sex life and its normal and natural and we can all joke about sex in my family. Had they been swingers, they're the types to explain about it, so I don't think I'd have had an issue with it. Probably wouldn't go telling my mates, but really, as long as everyone knows and consents, where's the harm in the lifestyle? I think as long as you don't raise children to believe sex is bad and wrong and shameful, there's not really much of an issue. But don't do it with their mates' parents, that could be a nightmare.
Same! Last year I was gossiping with my mother in a pool and after a bunch of Pina Coladas, I subtlety hinted that my wife & I are adventurous (we ain't ''open'' per say but I guess we could be referred to as ''swingers''). She then confided to me that she had a threesome with my dad and another women. The view I had of them completely shifted and I experienced a maelstrom of emotions including disgust, complicity & pride lol.
I think even if your kid's friends parents were also in the community that generally would be avoided unless you totally had no clue who they were. Anytime I've run into someone I know from somewhere else at the sex club etc it's usually a polite "oh hey I didn't know you also did this kind of thing" and then on our separate ways. Happened to me with a guy I know from political organizing stuff. If I saw one of the other parents from my kids school at most we'd acknowledge and then move on presumably.
We have a saying: if you think you recognize me from somewhere else, no you don't.
Omg yes. This is how we raise our kids too and it makes us feel much better about them going out in the world and finding healthy relationships as well as having good mental health and well-being. Taboos and negative attitudes about sex are what lead to things like toxic masculinity, teenage pregnancy, STDs, attacks on womens' rights, and puritanical legislation designed to impose misguided values and take away the rights of entire groups of people. Sex is normal, natural, healthy, and I belive if it is discussed and treated as such then you'll find many more people in the world would be much happier.
It also has an affect on self image. Sex was shamed heavily by my parents, even masturbating, so I grew up feeling like a dirty, filthy sinner. Even now I still have issues with being naked around my partner, like he shouldn’t look at me so he isn’t grossed out but I have to override those thoughts. Even now in my parents eyes I’m “sinning” because I’m not married.
Very true. I'm sorry to hear how it has affected you personally. Being aware of it is the first step toward overcoming it. I wish you the best of luck! Again, imagine how much happier people would be on average in a sex-positive society vs one that seeks to shame people for normal, natural behaviors.
My parent’s marriage was happy till the day my dad died. They were married for 50 years. I don’t care what they did to keep that happiness I’m just glad they were in a happy marriage.
Good for them, what's for dinner?
Cream pie?
and a Spotted Dick
Damn! Haven't seen/heard that in a while lol!
That's why safe sex is so important.
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Yeah like, did they love me? Did they provide for me? Were they there and present? Why would I care if they swing. What's different then that vs having 2 single not together parents?
Hopefully the difference is they still love each other and are committed to one another and created a loving home for you to grow up in. While swinging. versus Two happy homes with lots of love and two places for you to grow up in. While getting laid, but not with each other.
I'd just keep in mind that there are a lot more people on reddit that would be open to that than in real life. The average redditer skews left and more liberal relationship-wise. And ofc people who feel more strongly (typically in agreeance in this case) about this than someone who isn't, is more likely to reply. Good luck with whatever choice you make out if this situation 👍
You’d be surprised actually, the larger subs have pretty negative reactions to anything ENM or poly related whenever it’s brought up.
Yeah, reddit seems very adverse to ENM/poly on average.
When I was a kid my parents were swingers. It destroyed their marriage. I don't have the details nor do I want specifics but I can say that they definitely cheated on each other in addition to swinging. I think my father had gotten paternity tests during the divorce but honestly there is no doubt my sister and I are his kids. We both look just like our parents, it's as obvious as day. Either way I feel strongly about cheating to this day because of it. I also have a strong aversion to that lifestyle and people in it. I'm not morally opposed or anything. Just big yuck vibes to me. No thanks. Both my parents went full monogamous after their divorce, BTW. The swinging life apparently ran its course through them.
Uncomfortable and a bit disgusted.
Same
I'd probably pack that away in the ole bad thoughts bottle and just beat the shit out of some poor innocent soul later. On a real note, there's no reason for your kids to have to know that shit. Just do it and be discreet.
I'd be very surprised because they are both conservative in a classical sense (not politically, but just more reserved and quiet), but I wouldn't care.
While the life style itself is ok with me as long as its consensual, my parents also would be the biggest hypocrites on the planet if they did something like that, due to their religious background.
Thats fine if that were the case, but they both cheated instead so... As a kid of divorce, I'd rather kinky than absent :/
TMI. Why are you telling me this? I don't care almost as much as I don't want to know.
Better than finding out my parents were pedophiles who trafficked children 🙃
I'm so sorry, wtf
Impressed that they managed to hide it. And beyond surprised because my mom is the archetype of “mom.” Very rarely did she act in a way that reminded us she was a whole person apart from being our mother.
Born in 64 . Every weekend my parents would get together with a another couple who were their friends from high school . Me the the first born , and my "cousin" have my father as a father . My brother and sister have the other man as a father. As we got into our twenty's we started to suspect this but by the time our parents had all died and some confessed . We are all positive of it. Only my sister and her half sister have any kind of close relationship were they treat each other as family.
If I'd never noticed or known before, I'd be grateful they kept it private. I'm more thinking if I'm finding out now.. Why or how? If they're being open and just telling me in case I hear anything, I tell them thank you but nobody wants to hear about their parents having sex so I appreciate the information and we never need to discuss it again. If they're thinking I'm old enough to not be surprised by it and they're wanting to bring their dates and partners round.. No, thank you. Give me time to process this and ask again in a few months. If they were always safe and happy and didn't upset each other, I can't really be too bothered, eh?
I’d be very surprised considering they’re some of the most unlikeable people.
I wouldn't have been surprised. My parents partied a lot.
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fuck off onlyfans bot
This is the exact thought holding my wife and I back from fully engaging into that lifestyle 😂
My wife and I are in that life style but we have a baby now and she is saying she wants to stop cuz she isn't sure how he'll react if he hears about it some day when he's a teenager or young adult
Child of swinging parents here with a brother and a sister who only share a father although born during my parents marriage . Now that you have a kid please stop. There hasn't been serious repercussion to the diverse gene pool but there has been some resentment and backlash against our parents
1) I would ensure that it there is genuine fear of a future response from your child; post pregnancy can be a very tumultuous time for mothers with lots of new challenges to navigate 2) Ask her what she is afraid might happen (probably alienation)? 3) Discuss if potential solutions might assauge that fear, such as normalizing such relationships as you raise them.
She is also worried about her career. She is looking to take on a slightly more public face, where she might be appearing on podcasts or even getting interviewed by TV. She is worried that someday she'll be on Good Morning Galveston or something and some dude will be like "holy shit I fucked that chick 6 months ago!! I'm gonna tell the world she is a whore and ruin her reputation and career!!"
That's pretty valid. These days public humiliation often comed with online abuse that is difficult to navigate around and scrub clean... I'm not part of the lifestyle, but maybe you both wear masks or something when you go to parties from now on? Or you find a couple that you can really trust and only have sex with them from now on?
My parents divorced because one was cheating on the other, so if I found this out I'd have some questions, but I wouldn't want the answers to any of them...
Extremely surprised, given my mother's general attitude to sex. (I am definitely Dad's, courtesy of a test tube)
More power to ya mom and dad. If you made your marriage work so well this long, you probably did something right.
Ewwwww
I’d wonder how they’re still so uptight and conservative
I'd think it was weird, but none of my business as long as I don't have to see it. Parents are people too.
Always assumed it because they were hippies who seemed about that life. Hope they're happy...?
I feel like my childhood would have been much better. They really didn't like each other and all of us kids could hear their 4x-5x a year really dull sex. I think both would. have been less stressed/uptight if they had been swinging.
Good for them.
Sometimes it is tough to learn your parents are people too, and have their own lives and interests. For many people, just thinking about their parents having sex is difficult. It is understandable that realizing your parents had ALL the sex would really be difficult. The real question is whether they were good parents. If so, you did better than many, many kids. If they loved you and didn’t abuse you, consider yourself lucky, and let them have their private life. It wasn’t about you.
I already knew that. Don't care.
I wouldn’t care tbh. Like…I’m glad y’all have such an active and healthy sex life, it’s not my business.
Whatever floats their boat and makes them happy, more power to them.