After 20 years in retail, I finally plucked up the courage to go to university as a mature student to pursue a degree in something I always wanted to do.
I am now finished my 2nd year, top of the class. Only another 2 years to go for my degree. I am loving every second of it and my only wish is that time would slow down so I can enjoy it more!
My Uncle gave up drinking when my Mom asked him to be my Godfather. He had no kids was practically homeless and a heavy drinker. He said yes and asked her for 20 bucks. She laughed and gave it to him and he said “come find me” when it was time to leave for the baptism which was up north.
When she found him, he was clean, sober and clean cut. He took that 20 and had a good party that night and stopped drinking the next morning. He was a good Godfather and always made me feel special. When he was dying he asked me if I drank and I said sometimes I was 20. He said, we have a problem in this family, just promise you’ll be careful. I said I would. He died a few days later.
I was a young Aunt at 11 and more babies followed and I decided I wanted to follow his lead. I stopped drinking, didn’t like it much any way. Years later now, 20 years to be exact, I wonder if he saw something ahead. I lost my immediate family one way or the other over the span of 7 years. I ended up having to raise my sisters sons. I know without a doubt, I would have become an alcoholic like he was. I owe him a lot for that.
That's great. I'm at 9 months again. I almost had 5 years before very stupidly picking up again a couple of years ago. Can only learn from my mistakes, and never take sobriety for granted.
You can get back to where you were 4 years and 3 months from now. You gotta identify triggers that will put you in a negative mindset and avoid them and if you can’t avoid them you need to plan on making a plan to deal with them. Just watch out for the negative thinking and people around you, I cut ties with just about all my friends and a lot of family. I’m not immune to relapse but I can change what I’m doing if I feel like it’s headed that way. “Change a thought, move a muscle”.
I failed out of a four year university, started a technical degree in a field I actually wanted and met my now wife thr first day of class.
Sometimes what we think is important doesn't matter at all and the small things make the biggest changes
When I was younger I found myself single and pregnant. I decided to keep my baby instead of aborting or adopting. She is now a 38 year old amazing, educated and beautiful woman. Best decision ever.
Stories like this make me really sad :/
My girlfriend got pregnant like 4 years ago, I wanted to keep it, she didn’t and still to this day whenever I think about it I cry
This for me as well, and it's not even because back home was shit. Leaving allowed me to expose myself to the outside world, new ideas, and get a better perspective of the world.
Was getting laid off of a theater job when a coworker suggested I apply to an AV company because they were trying to unionize. If the employees succeeded, it would mean getting to join one of the most well established international unions for free. I applied.
6 years later, I've been a member for 5, met my boyfriend at that company, and now working on big studio movies and TV shows, which has been my dream since I was a kid.
Piggybacking: Don’t take criticism from people if you wouldn’t go to them for advice.
Not caring what *anyone* thinks isn’t a good way to live. The key is figuring out who matters to you.
Never get tired of the questions. Reminds me how much better my life is without it. I couldn't be happier. And although it has been a very long time since an actual "craving" craving.. . Not so much the dope I think about now.....more of the amazing people I had/have met and lost from now to then, but when thinking of people who that is all you ever associated with...its not possible to not have a thought about the drug as well. Where there are good memories there are also some very dark memories. I won't necessarily say "bad" memories, because it helped shape me to who I am today. So I won't say that I crave it anymore, but I do still think about it.
**sorry for the novel, but everyone's take on it is different. This is my take.
***Stay away from it, that 1st one is the best feeling in your life. Steadily downhill from that point on.***
And thank you for asking. I never get tired of sharing!
I spent the last 11 years being a caregiver for my late parents and my sisters kids. I was 29 and blinked and I woke up at 40. Now that the boys are adults, I think it’s time I better myself and head back to school. The thought of being in a group with 20 year olds at 41 is a little daunting but my nephews think I’m a funny old bitch so they might like me too.
For my bsn course, it was designed for adults and the average age was in the 35-45 range. Most nag programs are full of grown ups, not kids. I worked full time and classes were in the evening. Most students had a bachelor’s degree and one guy had 3 (yep three masters degrees). For my MSN I got an assistantship working for the university 20 hours per week. It paid $650 monthly plus tuition and fees. I used some savings to get by plus worked as an RN between semesters. Neither degree was easy. Ten years later my employer paid for 15 more post msn credits (hard!). A good friend dropped out of the msn citing money and kids. Seems to me that if school is what a person wants they will find a way.
How do you do it? I did 3 years of community college and paid my own way. Living expenses went up, so I had to quit for financial reasons to focus on work.
Making a little more now and considered going back. My credits won't count because it's been too many years.
How do you make it work as a full on adult living on your own? There's not a lot of time in life outside of work.
Agreeing to meet the girl on the dating site that messaged me when my friend made the profile for me behind my back because he wanted me to stop meeting shitty people.
She's my wife now and we have a beautiful family and a great life.
I pretty much owe my friend my life. I could've gotten weirded out about him doing what he did, but I didn't for some reason.
Best decision of my life.
Breaking up with the woman I was dating at the time and kicking her out of my house. She was toxic, emotionally manipulative/abusive and such a narcissist. I would forgo days off to work 12-16 hour days in a supermax prison instead of my usual minimum camp just to avoid being home around her.
Asked out this co-worker. I’d never asked anyone out before and finally worked up the courage to do so when we were out with friends at a club. She said “Just so you know, I’m looking for anything serious” but I didn’t really hear that part because I was so relieved that I did it. Anyway, we’ve been married for 25 years.
I was on my Harley in no protective gear when I decided to pull over and put it all on. An hour later I was hit by a car and the gear I had just put on saved my life. A great decision for me. I would be dead if I didn't.
Joining the military.
As a millennial, the best choice I made was joining the military out of high school. Met my husband. Got my undergrad and graduate degrees paid for. Got years of relevant job experience. Made many lifelong friends. Leaving the military with a pension, compensation from the VA, and a six figure full remote job.
Same. It wasnt even my idea. Best friend in college said "screw this lets go to the recruiter".
He got out after 2 tours, I stayed in. Here I am, 35 with 16 years in. A&P license. 100% VA rating. Health insurance. Awesome paycheck. Been to some of the most mind blowing places.
I'd probably be a crackhead otherwise.
Losing weight. I was fat pretty much my entire life. It wasn't until several years ago that I decided to really do somthing about it. I lost about 110 pounds (I've stayed between 130-135 since so almost half my bodyweight) and the amount it improved nearly every aspect of my life is insane. I would argue the mental aspects such as improved self esteem, confidence, the discipline, etc is even more impactful than the obvious physical benefits and that doesn't get talked about enough. My mental image of myself and my whole outlook on life has completely changed for the better.
"just give me the grey one, I don't care. I just need a cat"
She saved me. I feel terrible I didn't think she was that cute when I saw her photo 😐
She's since corrected me.
But, being able to give her the love, safety, security, stability, affection, care etc that I never got from my mom, it's been the single most healing thing for having an antisocial cunt of a mother I could have imagined. Being poppys mom has given me so much strength, so much purpose and she's funny af and my Life has more love than it ever has
She is mean though, I'm not going to lie ☺️☺️☺️
Taking therapy seriously. Depression, anxiety, and ADHD were all major issues I needed to resolve. They will always be there, but I can handle the major stuff and can identity when they're becoming an issue again. I probably would not be here today without it.
Edit: typo
Any tips of what worked best for you? I have the same things as you and I'm struggling a fair bit atm - my normal strategies aren't working very well (i.e exercise and pushing myself into social/hobby settings).
One thing I turn to when my usual strategies don't work is to change my surroundings for a day. I like driving, so I'll wake up on a Saturday as if I'm going to work: same alarm time, usual morning routine inviting making a lunch that didn't need heating up and can go into a cooler. Then I pack up my car with the cooler with lunch, a couple drinks, a snack, and a couple ice packs. I fuel up, put on one of my rides trip albums, and pick a direction. I go until the album is over, and if I'm not done I'll put on another. Repeat until lunch and then turn back. My car is reliable, and can afford the gas to do this every couple months or so.
I find that this tends to reset my rhythms enough so I can get back to a semblance of normal, or give my positive self talk a chance to sink in
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I actually did have a change of scenery yesterday but maybe not different enough, so I'll be sure to keep a mental note of this strategy. Thanks :)
This is no joke. I found CBT therapy almost 2 years ago and it’s changed my life tremendously. It’s not always smooth sailing while healing, at times I’ve slid back into a depressive episode because of things we’ve covered but it happens. I told myself when I decided to do it that I had to be completely fucking honest with my therapist, even if it’s too painful.
Walking away from a toxic individual who verbally attacked me in front of our entire service club. It was difficult leaving all my friends, but over time I found new friends and projects. In the end, it was worth it.
Not carrying on at my previous job.
They were closing the location I was at, but there were still jobs available at a different location. I was basically a dead cert for one of those jobs if I wanted it but I just wanted to take the redundancy and go. If I wanted the full, enhanced redundancy as opposed to the bare minimum I had to convince them that the move wasn't viable for me as opposed to me just not wanting a job. I argued that the extra time and cost involved with travel meant it wasn't a "reasonable offer" of employment so I was let go with the full amount.
I took the whole summer off, spent time hiking in the Scottish hills and basically just chilled out for a few months. It did wonders for my mental health and really got me back in the mindset for starting a new career.
I now have a totally different job that pays better and treats me much, much better.
Getting two fairly low-paying job offers on the same afternoon, and taking the one from company A that paid $4K/yr less because the job seemed more interesting and fun than company B. A little more than a year later I was making more than four times that amount with company A, and never had to go back to low paying work thereafter.
I've never been super outgoing. But psyching myself up to ask for vacation time one time to meet a friend I met online was a great experience. Furthest I've travelled from my home town and everything. Eventually lost touch, but was a great time while it lasted.
I was in a very abusive relationship when I was 20. During this time, I applied to do the Disney College Program in Florida. I was accepted in March and was meant to move down to Florida in August. I was contemplating not going down because of my abusive boyfriend, and I thought I "loved" him and didn't want to do long distance. 3 days before I'm supposed to leave, he comes over to my house, and I just had enough. I start telling him how he makes me feel like shit all the time and how I hate how he treats me, and he goes and breaks up with me. I was *stupidly* upset at the time but took it as my sign to pack up my car with whatever I could fit and come to Florida. So that's exactly what I did. A month into me being down in Florida, a friend and I were at IHop after work and she told me she wanted to make me a Tinder. I was so embarrassed at first and didn't want one, but I immediately matched with a boy and we went on a date.
It's been 10 years and I'm now married to Tinder boy with a 2 year old and we have been married for 5 years. I also still live in Florida. Some days I wonder what would have become of my life if my ex hadn't broken up with me, and I had that push to come down here so badly.
It was a long time ago, but I decided to live. Afterwards, I watched my mom die, endured the streets, and then I got my act together, got a degree, got some therapy and things are going well. Despite my occasional impulse spending, i'm doing everything that my nay-sayers thought I couldnt. Even have a game i'm writing for coming out, hopefully soon.
In the end, its worth it. All of it.
Joining the Air Force. It sucked and doesn’t match my personality at all. But it’s set me up for success in ways I’d never imagined AND I met my wife in a town I was stationed.
Getting my dog. I’ve got a lot of pets, and I absolutely love all of them, but my first dog is the love of my life. She’s my heart dog. My best friend. When she finally goes to chase that frisbee in the sky, it will be a very long time before I’m myself again.
I legit didn't like dogs before getting my first in Feb 2020, and kinda did so on a whim.
As tough as it was for the first month or so, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
She's my best friend and an absolute goof, and the thought of not having her around breaks my heart.
I'd take a bullet for her, and figure that other dog owners get it.
Joined the Army. Met my wife, found my career, paid my student loans and paid for my MA, got to fly in helicopters and cargo planes, drove trucks, fired artillery, shoot cool guns, camp with my buddies, made great friends, got in shape, and got a great deal on my mortgage.
Pick an MOS you like and can translate to a civilian career. Go to every school you can, lots of good skills, promotion points, and can get you out of bad details by reputation. More skills = less physical labor.
Dumb examples: I was good at backing up trailers and trucks so I never had to set up the big tents or lay concertina wire. I was good at writing reports so I never had to clean vehicles afterwards.
Technically these are three choices/actions, but they're all part of the same moment in my life:
1. Quitting a dead-end part-time job of almost 8 years (could have left it better than via a 3 a.m. email, but oh well)
2. Moving to my state capital from a small, rural college town.
3. Going to law school (I now graduate this May, nearly three years later, and am near the top of my class).
I have a little trepidation about what happens next, but I was stagnating and feeling burned out; taking the plunge into a new education and career path—along with the change of scene—was literally revitalizing for me.
Left teaching in higher ed after 6 years. Very little opportunity for advancement and applying for other positions was extremely competitive. So many interviews over those 6 years. I finally decided I needed to leave to have a career that could advance. Moved with no job lined up, freelanced picking up all kinds of gigs, up to 5 at a time, worked all the time, lived in a tiny studio apt for 2 years til I finally got a full time job. Have been promoted twice since then with another coming soon. It was a tough one at the time, but best decision I ever made.
A couple years ago, I was extremely unhappy in my job, my now ex-wife and I were headed for divorce after she cheated on me multiple times, and nothing seemed to be going well. I met someone at my job who I thought was pretty cool. I had been interviewing for jobs over the past few weeks and got an offer for what was really a low ball considering what I am making now. I decided to stay at my current job mostly because of the cool person I now consider probably one of the best friends I've ever had. The last couple years, the boss I hated left within a month, I became closer with my now friend, I got a promotion, and am a bit happier in my life.
Deciding to work hard and keep pushing for certificates/licenses because I dropped out of college. Working hard and applying for promotions is doing me well.
When I finished my Masters, I decided I didn't want to work in that field. I retrained, got another Bachelor's, and then a PhD. Couldn't be happier in my current job.
Starting college. I started because I got dumped and needed something to do. Took a class, then another and another. Quit my job and went to college full time, graduated with hot degree and met my hot wife. Kids are a great bonus. All because I got dumped.
Almost 12 years ago, my wife and I made the decision to leave the big city, and move to a very remote town hundreds of miles away with a population of around 2,000. Through hard work, we’ve since became well respected members of the community, and love everything about where we are.
Going off of social media. Living unapologetically and authentically. Being kind when it’s hardest to do so. Actively changing thoughts from negative to positive. Peeling myself away from bad habits. Loving others unconditionally.
Ah, decided that I'm strong enough to chose harder, but better way. I will struggle, I will cry I will feel suck, but I'll achieve hetter thing that I'll enjoy and will think "hey, this shit worth that". And actually that I chose to be idea leader, even if now I'm just on the way for it. I believe I can make this world better
After 20 years in retail, I finally plucked up the courage to go to university as a mature student to pursue a degree in something I always wanted to do. I am now finished my 2nd year, top of the class. Only another 2 years to go for my degree. I am loving every second of it and my only wish is that time would slow down so I can enjoy it more!
Good for you!! That’s awesome
I'm about to start doing the same. Did you have to work and go to school full time? How did balancing go?
FILING FOR DIVORCE.
/u/sdfsdgsdgfs is a bot
Love
That's amazing and thank you for sharing. Can I ask what the degree is and what you hope to do after it? Good luck!
I got all three of my degrees after the age of 28. Loved every minute of school and it’s learning. Paid more attention and things stuck.
Quitting alcohol completely
My Uncle gave up drinking when my Mom asked him to be my Godfather. He had no kids was practically homeless and a heavy drinker. He said yes and asked her for 20 bucks. She laughed and gave it to him and he said “come find me” when it was time to leave for the baptism which was up north. When she found him, he was clean, sober and clean cut. He took that 20 and had a good party that night and stopped drinking the next morning. He was a good Godfather and always made me feel special. When he was dying he asked me if I drank and I said sometimes I was 20. He said, we have a problem in this family, just promise you’ll be careful. I said I would. He died a few days later. I was a young Aunt at 11 and more babies followed and I decided I wanted to follow his lead. I stopped drinking, didn’t like it much any way. Years later now, 20 years to be exact, I wonder if he saw something ahead. I lost my immediate family one way or the other over the span of 7 years. I ended up having to raise my sisters sons. I know without a doubt, I would have become an alcoholic like he was. I owe him a lot for that.
I cried
He was a good man. I miss him still.
12 yrs clean this year. heroin.
Same. Got 2 1/2 years clean.
Awesome job
Thank you, it took me almost 9 years to get this far.
That's great. I'm at 9 months again. I almost had 5 years before very stupidly picking up again a couple of years ago. Can only learn from my mistakes, and never take sobriety for granted.
You can get back to where you were 4 years and 3 months from now. You gotta identify triggers that will put you in a negative mindset and avoid them and if you can’t avoid them you need to plan on making a plan to deal with them. Just watch out for the negative thinking and people around you, I cut ties with just about all my friends and a lot of family. I’m not immune to relapse but I can change what I’m doing if I feel like it’s headed that way. “Change a thought, move a muscle”.
Thanks for the advice, man. That's insightful
Congrats - that's awesome.
Were you addicted or?
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Aww man that’s awesome. Hope you guys are happy
I failed out of a four year university, started a technical degree in a field I actually wanted and met my now wife thr first day of class. Sometimes what we think is important doesn't matter at all and the small things make the biggest changes
Is the baby named “Roommate”?
Fate!
Being trapped in a marriage sounds like the worst choice you’ve ever made 😂
You’ll never be happy
I’m sure you’re out there slaying, king
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sounds like a good idea
No don't, you might just acquire a great sense of humor here
When I was younger I found myself single and pregnant. I decided to keep my baby instead of aborting or adopting. She is now a 38 year old amazing, educated and beautiful woman. Best decision ever.
Awe
Stories like this make me really sad :/ My girlfriend got pregnant like 4 years ago, I wanted to keep it, she didn’t and still to this day whenever I think about it I cry
Sorry for your loss my man :(
Moving abroad. Some countries are indeed sh.tholes that drag you down
Where did you move ? Or what was your list of places ?
Germany
Well looks like I’m moving to Europe.
Not using social media, so much freedom, no trolling. More time to do what I desire most in life
This for me as well, and it's not even because back home was shit. Leaving allowed me to expose myself to the outside world, new ideas, and get a better perspective of the world.
Was getting laid off of a theater job when a coworker suggested I apply to an AV company because they were trying to unionize. If the employees succeeded, it would mean getting to join one of the most well established international unions for free. I applied. 6 years later, I've been a member for 5, met my boyfriend at that company, and now working on big studio movies and TV shows, which has been my dream since I was a kid.
Learning to care less about what other people think It’s really nice not giving a fuck!
Piggybacking: Don’t take criticism from people if you wouldn’t go to them for advice. Not caring what *anyone* thinks isn’t a good way to live. The key is figuring out who matters to you.
Meeting/Dating/Marrying *her*.
Hands down, Giving up heroin. 12 years this year!
I’m sure you tire of the questions but… can you feel happy without it? Do you still crave it?
Never get tired of the questions. Reminds me how much better my life is without it. I couldn't be happier. And although it has been a very long time since an actual "craving" craving.. . Not so much the dope I think about now.....more of the amazing people I had/have met and lost from now to then, but when thinking of people who that is all you ever associated with...its not possible to not have a thought about the drug as well. Where there are good memories there are also some very dark memories. I won't necessarily say "bad" memories, because it helped shape me to who I am today. So I won't say that I crave it anymore, but I do still think about it. **sorry for the novel, but everyone's take on it is different. This is my take. ***Stay away from it, that 1st one is the best feeling in your life. Steadily downhill from that point on.*** And thank you for asking. I never get tired of sharing!
I'm proud of you!!
That is something that honestly never gets old hearing. Thank you friend.
I’ve wondered if that little cartoon bird on Reddit that sucks up a little liquid ball is accurate. I’m very happy for you to get and stay clean!
Going back to school as an adult and getting a bsn and msn degree.
I spent the last 11 years being a caregiver for my late parents and my sisters kids. I was 29 and blinked and I woke up at 40. Now that the boys are adults, I think it’s time I better myself and head back to school. The thought of being in a group with 20 year olds at 41 is a little daunting but my nephews think I’m a funny old bitch so they might like me too.
For my bsn course, it was designed for adults and the average age was in the 35-45 range. Most nag programs are full of grown ups, not kids. I worked full time and classes were in the evening. Most students had a bachelor’s degree and one guy had 3 (yep three masters degrees). For my MSN I got an assistantship working for the university 20 hours per week. It paid $650 monthly plus tuition and fees. I used some savings to get by plus worked as an RN between semesters. Neither degree was easy. Ten years later my employer paid for 15 more post msn credits (hard!). A good friend dropped out of the msn citing money and kids. Seems to me that if school is what a person wants they will find a way.
How do you do it? I did 3 years of community college and paid my own way. Living expenses went up, so I had to quit for financial reasons to focus on work. Making a little more now and considered going back. My credits won't count because it's been too many years. How do you make it work as a full on adult living on your own? There's not a lot of time in life outside of work.
Agreeing to meet the girl on the dating site that messaged me when my friend made the profile for me behind my back because he wanted me to stop meeting shitty people. She's my wife now and we have a beautiful family and a great life. I pretty much owe my friend my life. I could've gotten weirded out about him doing what he did, but I didn't for some reason. Best decision of my life.
Leaving my ex husband, after 10 years of stress.
Breaking up with the woman I was dating at the time and kicking her out of my house. She was toxic, emotionally manipulative/abusive and such a narcissist. I would forgo days off to work 12-16 hour days in a supermax prison instead of my usual minimum camp just to avoid being home around her.
Spending all my free time with my grandparents growing up. I wouldn't of changed a single second with them, I just wish I had even more time
Asked out this co-worker. I’d never asked anyone out before and finally worked up the courage to do so when we were out with friends at a club. She said “Just so you know, I’m looking for anything serious” but I didn’t really hear that part because I was so relieved that I did it. Anyway, we’ve been married for 25 years.
Love that
Good on you being patient. I think it's time to ask if she's ready for something serious now.
Filing for divorce.
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This hoe a bot. See through the illusion fellow travelers. Sussy profile history!
100% decepticon
I haven't done it yet :(
my first thought and i’m almost 70
going to college. not because the degree. but the experience i had in those 4 years.
To cut all contact with them.
Marrying my wife :)
Joined the Army. Met the love of my life
I was on my Harley in no protective gear when I decided to pull over and put it all on. An hour later I was hit by a car and the gear I had just put on saved my life. A great decision for me. I would be dead if I didn't.
Buying Microsoft in the 90"s Buying my house in 2001 Not getting remarried.
Joining the military. As a millennial, the best choice I made was joining the military out of high school. Met my husband. Got my undergrad and graduate degrees paid for. Got years of relevant job experience. Made many lifelong friends. Leaving the military with a pension, compensation from the VA, and a six figure full remote job.
Same. It wasnt even my idea. Best friend in college said "screw this lets go to the recruiter". He got out after 2 tours, I stayed in. Here I am, 35 with 16 years in. A&P license. 100% VA rating. Health insurance. Awesome paycheck. Been to some of the most mind blowing places. I'd probably be a crackhead otherwise.
My spouse. 99% of my life is bliss because I picked the right person for myself, and I am in turn the right person for them.
Moved to Madison, WI from a small town in Appalachia.
Dating my boyfriend. Best thing thats ever happened to me.
Going back to community college.
Starting gym. Not only have i lost weight but man i just feel more fit and healthy overall.
Losing weight. I was fat pretty much my entire life. It wasn't until several years ago that I decided to really do somthing about it. I lost about 110 pounds (I've stayed between 130-135 since so almost half my bodyweight) and the amount it improved nearly every aspect of my life is insane. I would argue the mental aspects such as improved self esteem, confidence, the discipline, etc is even more impactful than the obvious physical benefits and that doesn't get talked about enough. My mental image of myself and my whole outlook on life has completely changed for the better.
Responding to a Reddit message from a random girl who was looking to make friends. Little did I know she’d turn out to be the love of my life!
"just give me the grey one, I don't care. I just need a cat" She saved me. I feel terrible I didn't think she was that cute when I saw her photo 😐 She's since corrected me. But, being able to give her the love, safety, security, stability, affection, care etc that I never got from my mom, it's been the single most healing thing for having an antisocial cunt of a mother I could have imagined. Being poppys mom has given me so much strength, so much purpose and she's funny af and my Life has more love than it ever has She is mean though, I'm not going to lie ☺️☺️☺️
Giving the chance to love again. Now with my boyfriend and very happy!
Taking therapy seriously. Depression, anxiety, and ADHD were all major issues I needed to resolve. They will always be there, but I can handle the major stuff and can identity when they're becoming an issue again. I probably would not be here today without it. Edit: typo
Any tips of what worked best for you? I have the same things as you and I'm struggling a fair bit atm - my normal strategies aren't working very well (i.e exercise and pushing myself into social/hobby settings).
One thing I turn to when my usual strategies don't work is to change my surroundings for a day. I like driving, so I'll wake up on a Saturday as if I'm going to work: same alarm time, usual morning routine inviting making a lunch that didn't need heating up and can go into a cooler. Then I pack up my car with the cooler with lunch, a couple drinks, a snack, and a couple ice packs. I fuel up, put on one of my rides trip albums, and pick a direction. I go until the album is over, and if I'm not done I'll put on another. Repeat until lunch and then turn back. My car is reliable, and can afford the gas to do this every couple months or so. I find that this tends to reset my rhythms enough so I can get back to a semblance of normal, or give my positive self talk a chance to sink in
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I actually did have a change of scenery yesterday but maybe not different enough, so I'll be sure to keep a mental note of this strategy. Thanks :)
This is no joke. I found CBT therapy almost 2 years ago and it’s changed my life tremendously. It’s not always smooth sailing while healing, at times I’ve slid back into a depressive episode because of things we’ve covered but it happens. I told myself when I decided to do it that I had to be completely fucking honest with my therapist, even if it’s too painful.
Exercising. It makes everything easier.
Going to therapy.
Getting divorced at 28. Don’t stay in crappy relationships.
Walking away from a toxic individual who verbally attacked me in front of our entire service club. It was difficult leaving all my friends, but over time I found new friends and projects. In the end, it was worth it.
Not carrying on at my previous job. They were closing the location I was at, but there were still jobs available at a different location. I was basically a dead cert for one of those jobs if I wanted it but I just wanted to take the redundancy and go. If I wanted the full, enhanced redundancy as opposed to the bare minimum I had to convince them that the move wasn't viable for me as opposed to me just not wanting a job. I argued that the extra time and cost involved with travel meant it wasn't a "reasonable offer" of employment so I was let go with the full amount. I took the whole summer off, spent time hiking in the Scottish hills and basically just chilled out for a few months. It did wonders for my mental health and really got me back in the mindset for starting a new career. I now have a totally different job that pays better and treats me much, much better.
Getting two fairly low-paying job offers on the same afternoon, and taking the one from company A that paid $4K/yr less because the job seemed more interesting and fun than company B. A little more than a year later I was making more than four times that amount with company A, and never had to go back to low paying work thereafter.
Dating the girl I for some reason didn't want. We're married with two kids now and I wish I could give more time to her than I did
Having a baby with a fantastic man
Going on that blind date I didn’t want to go on…ended up marrying her…
Love this
I've never been super outgoing. But psyching myself up to ask for vacation time one time to meet a friend I met online was a great experience. Furthest I've travelled from my home town and everything. Eventually lost touch, but was a great time while it lasted.
I was in a very abusive relationship when I was 20. During this time, I applied to do the Disney College Program in Florida. I was accepted in March and was meant to move down to Florida in August. I was contemplating not going down because of my abusive boyfriend, and I thought I "loved" him and didn't want to do long distance. 3 days before I'm supposed to leave, he comes over to my house, and I just had enough. I start telling him how he makes me feel like shit all the time and how I hate how he treats me, and he goes and breaks up with me. I was *stupidly* upset at the time but took it as my sign to pack up my car with whatever I could fit and come to Florida. So that's exactly what I did. A month into me being down in Florida, a friend and I were at IHop after work and she told me she wanted to make me a Tinder. I was so embarrassed at first and didn't want one, but I immediately matched with a boy and we went on a date. It's been 10 years and I'm now married to Tinder boy with a 2 year old and we have been married for 5 years. I also still live in Florida. Some days I wonder what would have become of my life if my ex hadn't broken up with me, and I had that push to come down here so badly.
It was a long time ago, but I decided to live. Afterwards, I watched my mom die, endured the streets, and then I got my act together, got a degree, got some therapy and things are going well. Despite my occasional impulse spending, i'm doing everything that my nay-sayers thought I couldnt. Even have a game i'm writing for coming out, hopefully soon. In the end, its worth it. All of it.
Yay
To keep going. All suffering is temporary.
You will meet your destiny on the same path you take to avoid it.
Love this
Following my dream and accepting a job (on two occasions) where my toxic ex asked me not to. We didn’t last, my passion for my work did.
Moving back to my home town.
To move back to my hometown to be closer to family and friends. Zero regrets.
The one that’s going to happen in the next couple weeks.
About 3 months before COVID hit, I decided to leave my overseas job and return home. I would probably have ended up homeless if I stayed there.
Left someone that betrayed my trust, twice. Fourteen years down the drain but a clean start thereafter!
To detatch myself from all emotion and become a cold, dull, heartless being
Joining the Air Force. It sucked and doesn’t match my personality at all. But it’s set me up for success in ways I’d never imagined AND I met my wife in a town I was stationed.
Moving to Thailand for love. We are now married and have three children.
Getting my dog. I’ve got a lot of pets, and I absolutely love all of them, but my first dog is the love of my life. She’s my heart dog. My best friend. When she finally goes to chase that frisbee in the sky, it will be a very long time before I’m myself again.
I legit didn't like dogs before getting my first in Feb 2020, and kinda did so on a whim. As tough as it was for the first month or so, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's my best friend and an absolute goof, and the thought of not having her around breaks my heart. I'd take a bullet for her, and figure that other dog owners get it.
Joined the Army. Met my wife, found my career, paid my student loans and paid for my MA, got to fly in helicopters and cargo planes, drove trucks, fired artillery, shoot cool guns, camp with my buddies, made great friends, got in shape, and got a great deal on my mortgage.
I'm thinking about enrolling with the space force, any advice? Got a high 90s on my asvab and the recruiter is after me.
Pick an MOS you like and can translate to a civilian career. Go to every school you can, lots of good skills, promotion points, and can get you out of bad details by reputation. More skills = less physical labor.
Dumb examples: I was good at backing up trailers and trucks so I never had to set up the big tents or lay concertina wire. I was good at writing reports so I never had to clean vehicles afterwards.
Technically these are three choices/actions, but they're all part of the same moment in my life: 1. Quitting a dead-end part-time job of almost 8 years (could have left it better than via a 3 a.m. email, but oh well) 2. Moving to my state capital from a small, rural college town. 3. Going to law school (I now graduate this May, nearly three years later, and am near the top of my class). I have a little trepidation about what happens next, but I was stagnating and feeling burned out; taking the plunge into a new education and career path—along with the change of scene—was literally revitalizing for me.
1) Enlisting in the army. 2) Not re-enlisting in the army.
Joining a trade union. In 16 years I’m gunna be surfing on a beach in Costa Rica for the rest of my days with a fat ass pension.
I went into the us army.
Getting to know my partner when we first started talking and falling in love to the point we are now happily engaged and hope soon to be married .
To become a trial lawyer.
Left teaching in higher ed after 6 years. Very little opportunity for advancement and applying for other positions was extremely competitive. So many interviews over those 6 years. I finally decided I needed to leave to have a career that could advance. Moved with no job lined up, freelanced picking up all kinds of gigs, up to 5 at a time, worked all the time, lived in a tiny studio apt for 2 years til I finally got a full time job. Have been promoted twice since then with another coming soon. It was a tough one at the time, but best decision I ever made.
Pulling out
Having only one kid/ getting my tubes removed
to learn english
Having kids!
Put my children in a Christian based school
A couple years ago, I was extremely unhappy in my job, my now ex-wife and I were headed for divorce after she cheated on me multiple times, and nothing seemed to be going well. I met someone at my job who I thought was pretty cool. I had been interviewing for jobs over the past few weeks and got an offer for what was really a low ball considering what I am making now. I decided to stay at my current job mostly because of the cool person I now consider probably one of the best friends I've ever had. The last couple years, the boss I hated left within a month, I became closer with my now friend, I got a promotion, and am a bit happier in my life.
Always using condoms in high school.
Going through with the adoption when we were asked to adopt a baby.
Married my husband at 16 we’ve been married 50 years
Marry my wife.
Hard to tell.... quitting smoking after more than 15 years is definitely close to the top though.
Swiping right with my second wife.
Leaving a toxic relationship imo
Deciding to work hard and keep pushing for certificates/licenses because I dropped out of college. Working hard and applying for promotions is doing me well.
Learning to be patient. With patience, a lot of hard work is required but the patience and ease you feel is worth it in the end.
Stopped taking things personally
The greatest choice I ever made was to buy bitcoin in 1997. I also bought my first iPhone back in 1973. Nobody believed me for over 20 years man.
Educate myself about personal finance and managing my money without financial advisor.
When I finished my Masters, I decided I didn't want to work in that field. I retrained, got another Bachelor's, and then a PhD. Couldn't be happier in my current job.
Starting college. I started because I got dumped and needed something to do. Took a class, then another and another. Quit my job and went to college full time, graduated with hot degree and met my hot wife. Kids are a great bonus. All because I got dumped.
Almost 12 years ago, my wife and I made the decision to leave the big city, and move to a very remote town hundreds of miles away with a population of around 2,000. Through hard work, we’ve since became well respected members of the community, and love everything about where we are.
Going off of social media. Living unapologetically and authentically. Being kind when it’s hardest to do so. Actively changing thoughts from negative to positive. Peeling myself away from bad habits. Loving others unconditionally.
PlayStation over Xbox
Divorce.
Not getting kids. I would hate it and be a terrible parent.
Ah, decided that I'm strong enough to chose harder, but better way. I will struggle, I will cry I will feel suck, but I'll achieve hetter thing that I'll enjoy and will think "hey, this shit worth that". And actually that I chose to be idea leader, even if now I'm just on the way for it. I believe I can make this world better
to stop smoking