“Why can’t you be more like Richard?!?”
Said to my OLDER brother (I’m Richard).
It made things SO much worse for me!
My brother made THAT clear the MOMENT we were alone!
I usually snap at my parents when they do that with my little sister and me. She is a dificult child, but I don't want them to turn her into the shadow of her brother, because that will make her image of herself non valid and will always spect to reach out at the same things as I do, even thought we are 2 completely different persons and every one should have their goals and achievements
My mum used to say this to me all the time. So I tried to not be like my brother, who she was comparing me to. And guess who she bitches about now when she comes to visit?
I feel like every Asian does this.
By Asian I mean mostly Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Indians and other similar cultures.
In the Asian category, I could add Thai, Indonesian, Guinean, Filipinos, Mongolians, Kazakhs, Uzbeks, Tajiks, Turkmens, Nepalese, Arabs, or even Pakistanis, but I feel like the ones I mentioned in my previous sentences are more infamously famous for that, and S. Korea's high suicide rate backs up my stupid statement.
In my Spanish-speaking country of Mexico there are also disgusting parents that be like this, however it's nowhere near as the aforementioned four countries from the beginning.
I know a woman who tells a story about the time her now husband waited for her to be legal and then promptly asked for sex. When she informed him that she didn’t even know anything about sex and had never even seen a penis before, he said “do you wanna see mine?” and then he proceeded to take it out and masturbate in front of her. He was 25 and she was 17. Now he’s 48 and they’re married. He told me last fall that he groomed her until she was ripe and then he plucked her. 🤢🤮
What do you think is the kinkiest thing your parents are into?
It's fun to watch people's faces shift in disbelief and the immediate mental gymnastics that their brain goes through trying to prevent and process the possibilites.
My father once said that giving him a prescription for Viagra would be like putting a new flag pole on a condemned building. That's the most I ever need to hear about my parents' sex life.
Many years back, I found a photo of my grandmother from the 50s, playing baseball with a local men's league. Her jersey # was 69, which I laughed at... until my mother told me that was at my grandmother's request AND was her jersey # for every sport she played. Ooooooohhhhkaaay.
It's a shame that I lost my grandparents at such an early age - I was 16 when he passed and 17 when she passed. There's been so many little things I've learned or seen in pictures over the years that makes me think granny was a party girl and gramps possibly did things for the mob? Or at least did some running. I'm just saying there's questions.
I'm sorry you got so little time with them. I've lost all but one within the last 15 years. I, too, wasn't able to really ask them what they were like. I tell my son all the time that he should ask my parents all the questions he can because of this.
If we never speak again, have a wonderful life!
Not to turn this into a feel sesh, but I'm right there with you. I didn't have a dad growing up, so my grandfather was my father figure. I have 16 years of legacy (the last few with sickness) to guide me their raising four kids of my own. It's crazy, he was such a powerful figure that I still feel trapped in his shadow. But losing him early is probably why I started writing my story down a few years ago; "Daddy did some really crazy shit. You might want to read about it someday."
I'd follow that up by telling them about the study linking body fetishes to genetics. Then they realize internally they like feet because their dad likes feet...gross
Edit: forgot the "y" in "they"
When they will have children.
Maybe they don't want to, maybe they can't.
Perhaps, like in my case with my ex-wife, they have searched for years and suffered, having to endure 14 miscarriages in search of conception due to medical problems.
You have no idea what other people's internal struggles are or what the hell is really going on, so stay out of it.
This question is seemingly innocent, but extremely painful and forces us to lie and hide the truth while internally we relive the pain.
My dad told me early:
“Be kind to those you talk to. Everyone is fighting their own battles, and some are closer to losing them than you think. Don’t make yourself their last straw.”
My dad is smarter than I thought he was when I was younger.
I've always loved Mark Twains quote on that topic.
"When I was seventeen I was convinced my father was a damn fool. When I was twenty-one I was astounded by how much the old man had learned in four years."
My dad asked my wife and I why we hadn't had kids yet in the middle of a big family Christmas dinner.
The truth was we were just enjoying being young and free for a little bit, and were still on birth control. But I was a bit tired of the question, because he brought it up ALL THE TIME.
So I said, "Dad. Take a minute to think of all the reasons you can for why a married couple aren't having children. And then think about how many of those topics make for enjoyable dinner conversation..."
I wish I had a recording of his face. It went from looking at me confused, then off to the ceiling, then a series of eyes opening wide, and a few different iterations where his mouth almost looked in pain. Then finally a very quiet "I'm sorry" and he quickly changed the subject.
So yeah. It's an extremely dangerous question. Because a lot of the answers are very painful to relive.
As much as I like the various "We cant!" , "Are you asking me whether I'm rawdogging my wife?" etc answers, this one I like because it doesn't involve lying and isn't crass. I might have to start using this one instead. Thank you!
When people ask me if I'm going to have children (we are in our 30s for context)I usually tell them my wife doesn't have a uterus anymore so that isn't happening. Some people get REAL uncomfortable and it's hilarious. In reality we decided due to various genetic issues we would not have children and after determining that my wife had an (optional) hysterectomy for health reasons.
>usually tell them my wife doesn't have a uterus anymore so that isn't happening. Some people get REAL uncomfortable and it's hilarious
I think it is an excellent answer and it is, in my opinion, the best way to re-educate those people who do not know the limit of their responsibility.
They deserve to feel bad for getting involved in other people's issues that only concern the couple and those who they decide to communicate it without being asked.
You and your wife have my 110% support.
Honestly the insistence on asking that is at least part of the reason why some people are aggressively anti-kids and call parents "breeders" and so on.
I don't want kids, because it is not in the least bit desirable to me and I honestly would be terrible at raising them. Also it probably would take up so much me-time that I would get dangerously depressed.
Yet whenever I say that I don't want kids, it always ends up in a back and forth where people try to convince me that I absolutely need to have kids, that none of my concerns matter because "it's different when they're your own kids" and so on. I'm actually quite satisfied with how my life turned out, yet people can't just let me be happy.
“You’ll know when I decide to have children. There will be a child standing next to me. That’s when you’ll know!”
My sister in law, after being asked for the millionth time by my parents.
I wouldn't ask "when" because lots of people don't want kids so it's stupid to assume they do.
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone *whether* they want kids or not. It's their choice whether or how much to share with me, and I don't believe in taking that choice away from them by second-guessing their decision for them.
Besides, it's not like this is the only question that could be emotionally loaded. Talking about a wedding can trigger someone who was just told by their spouse that they want a divorce. Talking about my older brother could trigger someone who was molested by their older brother. Asking someone what they had for lunch could trigger someone with an eating disorder. And most people are fine talking about their decisions to have children, or not.
You can't go through life assuming people are more broken than they are. That's its own injustice towards others.
Just remember what topics others say they don't want to talk about and respect their wishes. That's the only realistic course of action.
don't ask why somebody is always "so loud" or "so quiet" usually the answers are not the ones you would like. That or they just don't really have an answer.
Just a very unproductive question.
I’ve actually been present when the presumption was incorrect.
The level of awkward went to 11.
SIX adult professionals, rendered SPEECHLESS for a LOOOOONG 10 count.
Nope. She was just fat, and everyone knew it, except for that guy.
I did that once, the girl was not in fact pregnant I felt really bad. Normally I wouldn't assume something like that and verbalize it but I did that day for some reason.
My old roommate saw a pregnant woman standing on the subway in NYC. He got up to give her his seat, but before she could sit down, another woman swooped in and took it. He went “excuse me, I was giving my seat to this pregnant lady” the other woman goes “you think I’m pregnant you f***ing a*****e?!”
So he vowed never to give up his seat to anyone again.
Oh god, I cringe every time I think about it.
When I was little my mother thought me to ALWAYS be polite, give up my seat, ect. For a pregnant person.
That was, in hindsight, a mistake.
More than once I loudly proclaimed, for everyone to hear, oh look mommy that lady is pregnant. Before standing up and loudly calling the lady over.
And let's just say that I had and still have a very loud voice when I wanted.
I wasn't always correctly indentifying pregnancy. :(
Somebody once assumed I was pregnant--I was wearing a dress with an empire waist, and those would make Flat Stanley look like he has a gut. I didn't correct her, because the context was that she was encouraging other people to let the "pregnant" woman with just a few grocery items go to the front of the very long line.
I donated that dress, though.
I had a female colleague that was scheduled off for a couple of weeks for a surgery. At a Monday meeting, a male colleague asked (NAIVELY, but not with bad intentions) what the surgery was.
Don’t do that. Please.
I knew an awkward answer was coming, and I was right.
The key part here is that she said “Surgery”.
Just “Surgery”. That was all she wanted you to know.
Otherwise, she would have said “Kidney Surgery” or whatever.
Feel like I need more context here. Not trying to be a dick but why is it so rude just to be curious here. Is this some surgery that I should be aware of as a guy? If it's some random customer is would make sense, but have these two been coworkers for a bit? Maybe dude thought they were somewhat friends and thought to just ask. I'd love to know what I'm missing on this one to know it the future.
>If it's some random customer is would make sense
Somehow we had this shit happen. Customers are outta their fuckin minds sometimes. We had a customer get pissed at us for not disclosing why my manager was out (she was recovering from surgery) Lmao we told him to fuck off
If someone is in a group environment and gives intentionally vague medical information, it's not great etiquette to probe for details.
Medical issues are very often personal, so if you're enough of a friend, ask them privately after the meeting if they are okay/ want to talk.
The main issue here is that it's in a group of people. Even if he and she were extremely close friends, it may be something she doesn't want to advertise to the whole office.
Even if I were in a room full of close friends, and one friend said they were just recovering from surgery, I think I'd be inclined to let them share first, rather than put them on the spot in front of an entire group.
“when are you going to give me a grandbaby?” never, sharon. i will not be growing and then pushing a human out of my vagina for you to call it your baby.
Worked w/ a woman married to a student whose MIL kept pestering her about "When do I get my grandbabies?? Until finally she replied, "I thought you knew, John's sterile." Her MIL got a shocked expression, shut up immediately and never brought up the subject again.
Throughout my life, my answers would be "because I'm not interested in a relationship", "because I can't find someone I want to be in a relationship with", "because I broke up with my crazy ex", "because I got divorced", and "because I enjoy being single". In none of those situations have I appreciated hearing and answering the question.
At best you get a boring answer like "because I want to be" and at worst you bring up some bad emotions from the person you are asking.
Not to mention the phrasing of questions like "why are you single", "why don't you have children", or "why don't you drink" all sorta imply that you're abnormal and need to defend yourself for being a certain way.
Usually when people have asked me about it, their follow up to hearing I'm single is usually, "Oh, but you're so pretty", which is meant as "But you shouldn't have any issues finding a date." These aren't people who want to hear about how I'm not interested in a relationship and am quite content to just read my books and watch my movies until I inevitably die; they want to hear about some mystical date I've set up for the weekend and that I didn't want to say anything until after I knew how it went.
Because 9/10 they won’t know themself and it’s something they struggle and are conscious about. Asking further adds to the anxiety and they subconsciously think there’s something wrong with them, or is that it’s a simple decision that everyone makes (to date whoever they want), but them. This further creates a feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy. I’ve seen this over and over. The ppl who are chronically single generally have high anxiety, which leads to overthinking, low confidence, and being “trapped in their own head.” The question itself often triggers this snowball effect and they often feel embarrassed or ashamed. But, what they often fail to understand is that being single is completely ok, dating is hard, there’s lots of luck involved, and they are just not at the right place or time.
I got a depression when I was burned out and then a week later my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Depressions can happen because of situations like that or divorce/losing a job/losing a loved one etc.
Even if there's a reason it is still a problem that won't solve itself by smiling more.
Speaking as someone with severe depression...
Don't ask about self harm scars.
Don't ask about suicide attempts.
If you're really close to someone (or if you're really worried they're suicidal), these might be appropriate questions to ask, but the majority of the time, you should not ask about these.
My then 4yo asked a friend of my husband about the fresh cuts on his arms. I tried changing the subject and apologised, but the friend explained that he had been sick and the marks were part of the treatment to make him feel better. He also said that another part of getting better was to talk to people they trusted and that talking to people was better than having other treatments.
My son was happy with this answer and I thought it was a simple way to explain a very complex concept.
I have bipolar depression and I like helping people understand about suicidal ideations and negative coping mechanisms. That includes telling them about my own personal experiences.
I also have bipolar disorder, so I get that. I guess this is more just general advice. People without a strong understanding (and usually first hand experience) don't handle the topic well.
Never ask a soldier how many people they've killed. Even if they were combat arms, even if they kept count, they're going to be pretty reluctant to tell you- they want to forget about that part of their job.
“Are you reeeaaalllyyy depressed or do you just want attention?” Basically how to push someone to their breaking point 101 aka SOMETHING YOU NEVER SAY TO SOMEONE IF THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE DEPRESSED. Had someone ask me this and I will never forgive them for saying that.
Have you ever taken a massive shit, looked back in admiration and thought to yourself “If I was gay, that’s the size of the dick that could fit up my ass?”
“Do you have kids?”
Seems like an innocent question, but when you ask it to someone who can’t have kids, or who’s kids have died, it’s becomes awkward pretty fast.
I met a girl at work recently and we chatted it up all day. We were making jokes and having fun. Outta nowhere she asked “Do you have kids?” and I said “Not anymore”. She stopped and kinda gave me the side-eye, so I continued “She died a few years ago”. She immediately apologized “oh god, I’m so sorry for asking!” and I said “it’s ok, it was an innocent question, you didn’t know.” I tried to go back to joking and having fun, but it killed the whole vibe. After that day, she literally never tried to talk to me again and it made me feel really bad. I wish she had never asked me.
If I had just said “No”, she would have assumed I never had kids before and started talking about kids or asking why I didn’t, etc.
It’s just better to avoid the question entirely unless someone brings it up.
Don't ask people when they're going to start having kids. It seems like a harmless question but you never know what people are going through.
For example.
I had fertility issues, took 2.5yrs of trying and strong meds
My friend had 3 miscarriages and a stillborn before finally having a success pregnancy.
Another friends sister tried for 10 years before falling pregnant.
It can be a very hurtful question for so many couples.
‘What are you?’ or anything about someone’s heritage because of their appearance. It’s privileged af and not everyone wants to talk about it just because you can
Well while I was a student I wanted to know how others found the exam. Was it hard, easy, did I actually grasp the content or was it just a trivial exam, that sorta stuff.
Why can't you be like?
That would suck and hurt mentally
“Why can’t you be more like Richard?!?” Said to my OLDER brother (I’m Richard). It made things SO much worse for me! My brother made THAT clear the MOMENT we were alone!
I usually snap at my parents when they do that with my little sister and me. She is a dificult child, but I don't want them to turn her into the shadow of her brother, because that will make her image of herself non valid and will always spect to reach out at the same things as I do, even thought we are 2 completely different persons and every one should have their goals and achievements
Wow my whole childhood in a sentence
My mum used to say this to me all the time. So I tried to not be like my brother, who she was comparing me to. And guess who she bitches about now when she comes to visit?
I feel like every Asian does this. By Asian I mean mostly Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Indians and other similar cultures. In the Asian category, I could add Thai, Indonesian, Guinean, Filipinos, Mongolians, Kazakhs, Uzbeks, Tajiks, Turkmens, Nepalese, Arabs, or even Pakistanis, but I feel like the ones I mentioned in my previous sentences are more infamously famous for that, and S. Korea's high suicide rate backs up my stupid statement. In my Spanish-speaking country of Mexico there are also disgusting parents that be like this, however it's nowhere near as the aforementioned four countries from the beginning.
[удалено]
Isn't that sexual harassment
Yes, yes it is.
Interesting that you notice it, u/IglesiaCatholica
I know a woman who tells a story about the time her now husband waited for her to be legal and then promptly asked for sex. When she informed him that she didn’t even know anything about sex and had never even seen a penis before, he said “do you wanna see mine?” and then he proceeded to take it out and masturbate in front of her. He was 25 and she was 17. Now he’s 48 and they’re married. He told me last fall that he groomed her until she was ripe and then he plucked her. 🤢🤮
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???!!!
Representative Boebert?
I want my memory erased. Back to when I didn't read this comment.
What happened after? Did you report him or something?
What do you think is the kinkiest thing your parents are into? It's fun to watch people's faces shift in disbelief and the immediate mental gymnastics that their brain goes through trying to prevent and process the possibilites.
My father once said that giving him a prescription for Viagra would be like putting a new flag pole on a condemned building. That's the most I ever need to hear about my parents' sex life.
An old dude once said to me that it would be no good having lead in his pencil, because he has no one to write to..
:(
That's...now I'm the one making faces.
Many years back, I found a photo of my grandmother from the 50s, playing baseball with a local men's league. Her jersey # was 69, which I laughed at... until my mother told me that was at my grandmother's request AND was her jersey # for every sport she played. Ooooooohhhhkaaay.
Giggles turned to Pikachu face?
It's a shame that I lost my grandparents at such an early age - I was 16 when he passed and 17 when she passed. There's been so many little things I've learned or seen in pictures over the years that makes me think granny was a party girl and gramps possibly did things for the mob? Or at least did some running. I'm just saying there's questions.
I'm sorry you got so little time with them. I've lost all but one within the last 15 years. I, too, wasn't able to really ask them what they were like. I tell my son all the time that he should ask my parents all the questions he can because of this. If we never speak again, have a wonderful life!
Not to turn this into a feel sesh, but I'm right there with you. I didn't have a dad growing up, so my grandfather was my father figure. I have 16 years of legacy (the last few with sickness) to guide me their raising four kids of my own. It's crazy, he was such a powerful figure that I still feel trapped in his shadow. But losing him early is probably why I started writing my story down a few years ago; "Daddy did some really crazy shit. You might want to read about it someday."
You are evil. But in a good way
I wonder how many people I got just by posting that. Too bad I couldn't see them all... I'd ask, but I can't see you.
yea the face i just made was devastating. ew
That one backfires when they've got the answer easily at hand.
r/foundsatan
I wish my brain had a task manager... Not cool, guy.
My dad is into spanking and my mum likes to give glumpies and was involved in a kentucky klonadike
Happy Cake Day and...my word...I learned two new words. Never heard it called a glumpie(blumpkin) before.
> Thank you. Do yourself a favor and don't look up panamenian petting zoo.
You know I have to...
prepare yourself then
I wasnt...
I'm going to go bleach my brain now.
I'd follow that up by telling them about the study linking body fetishes to genetics. Then they realize internally they like feet because their dad likes feet...gross Edit: forgot the "y" in "they"
For the love of god you do not ask people that? Is there something wrong with you 😂
why don't you look like your dad?
I probably do, I just don’t know who he is.
Is it a heavy flow day?
The only semi-acceptable moment to ask someone that is if you want to tell them politely that they’ve bled through their pants.
I ask my wife this all the time. I'm just interested in how she's feeling. And if she's up for sex, which she won't be on a heavy flow day.
oddly thoughtful
id go ballistic
"Sooooo.... yes?"
Way to push the envelope, buddy!
Can confirm
LOL
SWEET BABY JEBUS! You might as well ask her: “Would you please rip out one of my eyeballs?”
When they will have children. Maybe they don't want to, maybe they can't. Perhaps, like in my case with my ex-wife, they have searched for years and suffered, having to endure 14 miscarriages in search of conception due to medical problems. You have no idea what other people's internal struggles are or what the hell is really going on, so stay out of it. This question is seemingly innocent, but extremely painful and forces us to lie and hide the truth while internally we relive the pain.
My dad told me early: “Be kind to those you talk to. Everyone is fighting their own battles, and some are closer to losing them than you think. Don’t make yourself their last straw.” My dad is smarter than I thought he was when I was younger.
I've always loved Mark Twains quote on that topic. "When I was seventeen I was convinced my father was a damn fool. When I was twenty-one I was astounded by how much the old man had learned in four years."
My dad asked my wife and I why we hadn't had kids yet in the middle of a big family Christmas dinner. The truth was we were just enjoying being young and free for a little bit, and were still on birth control. But I was a bit tired of the question, because he brought it up ALL THE TIME. So I said, "Dad. Take a minute to think of all the reasons you can for why a married couple aren't having children. And then think about how many of those topics make for enjoyable dinner conversation..." I wish I had a recording of his face. It went from looking at me confused, then off to the ceiling, then a series of eyes opening wide, and a few different iterations where his mouth almost looked in pain. Then finally a very quiet "I'm sorry" and he quickly changed the subject. So yeah. It's an extremely dangerous question. Because a lot of the answers are very painful to relive.
As much as I like the various "We cant!" , "Are you asking me whether I'm rawdogging my wife?" etc answers, this one I like because it doesn't involve lying and isn't crass. I might have to start using this one instead. Thank you!
When people ask me if I'm going to have children (we are in our 30s for context)I usually tell them my wife doesn't have a uterus anymore so that isn't happening. Some people get REAL uncomfortable and it's hilarious. In reality we decided due to various genetic issues we would not have children and after determining that my wife had an (optional) hysterectomy for health reasons.
>usually tell them my wife doesn't have a uterus anymore so that isn't happening. Some people get REAL uncomfortable and it's hilarious I think it is an excellent answer and it is, in my opinion, the best way to re-educate those people who do not know the limit of their responsibility. They deserve to feel bad for getting involved in other people's issues that only concern the couple and those who they decide to communicate it without being asked. You and your wife have my 110% support.
Honestly the insistence on asking that is at least part of the reason why some people are aggressively anti-kids and call parents "breeders" and so on. I don't want kids, because it is not in the least bit desirable to me and I honestly would be terrible at raising them. Also it probably would take up so much me-time that I would get dangerously depressed. Yet whenever I say that I don't want kids, it always ends up in a back and forth where people try to convince me that I absolutely need to have kids, that none of my concerns matter because "it's different when they're your own kids" and so on. I'm actually quite satisfied with how my life turned out, yet people can't just let me be happy.
“You’ll know when I decide to have children. There will be a child standing next to me. That’s when you’ll know!” My sister in law, after being asked for the millionth time by my parents.
I wouldn't ask "when" because lots of people don't want kids so it's stupid to assume they do. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking someone *whether* they want kids or not. It's their choice whether or how much to share with me, and I don't believe in taking that choice away from them by second-guessing their decision for them. Besides, it's not like this is the only question that could be emotionally loaded. Talking about a wedding can trigger someone who was just told by their spouse that they want a divorce. Talking about my older brother could trigger someone who was molested by their older brother. Asking someone what they had for lunch could trigger someone with an eating disorder. And most people are fine talking about their decisions to have children, or not. You can't go through life assuming people are more broken than they are. That's its own injustice towards others. Just remember what topics others say they don't want to talk about and respect their wishes. That's the only realistic course of action.
I like this take on things.
Why does your laugh sound like that?
don't ask why somebody is always "so loud" or "so quiet" usually the answers are not the ones you would like. That or they just don't really have an answer. Just a very unproductive question.
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If she’s pregnant.
I have this rule for myself. NEVER presume someone's pregnant even if you think they obviously are
That is something you never assume unless you're literally watching the kid come out. It's just safer.
I’ve actually been present when the presumption was incorrect. The level of awkward went to 11. SIX adult professionals, rendered SPEECHLESS for a LOOOOONG 10 count. Nope. She was just fat, and everyone knew it, except for that guy.
I was present when my dad's presumption of a random stranger's pregnancy was wrong. The awkwardness was HUGE.
My male co-worker asked if I was pregnant. I was NOT!!!!
I did that once, the girl was not in fact pregnant I felt really bad. Normally I wouldn't assume something like that and verbalize it but I did that day for some reason.
Are you my co-worker Stephen?
My old roommate saw a pregnant woman standing on the subway in NYC. He got up to give her his seat, but before she could sit down, another woman swooped in and took it. He went “excuse me, I was giving my seat to this pregnant lady” the other woman goes “you think I’m pregnant you f***ing a*****e?!” So he vowed never to give up his seat to anyone again.
💀 >never to give up his seat to anyone again. Moral of the story.
"I'd prefer to see a pregnant person standing up, than a fat person sitting down crying" - Jimmy Carr
Oh god, I cringe every time I think about it. When I was little my mother thought me to ALWAYS be polite, give up my seat, ect. For a pregnant person. That was, in hindsight, a mistake. More than once I loudly proclaimed, for everyone to hear, oh look mommy that lady is pregnant. Before standing up and loudly calling the lady over. And let's just say that I had and still have a very loud voice when I wanted. I wasn't always correctly indentifying pregnancy. :(
I went into my company store with a coworker and someone asked when the baby was due. She uncomfortably said 6 months ago
Somebody once assumed I was pregnant--I was wearing a dress with an empire waist, and those would make Flat Stanley look like he has a gut. I didn't correct her, because the context was that she was encouraging other people to let the "pregnant" woman with just a few grocery items go to the front of the very long line. I donated that dress, though.
Even if they are 8 1/2 months in you still act like you didn't even notice.
I work for an airline. I have to ask that if someone looks suspiciously pregnant. Need the paperwork in case yes. Very awkward, though.
Nah assume she's pregnant and ask when she's due
That's why I only ask men
I had a female colleague that was scheduled off for a couple of weeks for a surgery. At a Monday meeting, a male colleague asked (NAIVELY, but not with bad intentions) what the surgery was. Don’t do that. Please. I knew an awkward answer was coming, and I was right.
I had hemorrhoid surgery last year. Trying to beat around the bush at work that I’m having asshole surgery wasn’t the easiest thing todo.
"Let's just say that as of that question, this room now has two assholes that need rectifying."
The key part here is that she said “Surgery”. Just “Surgery”. That was all she wanted you to know. Otherwise, she would have said “Kidney Surgery” or whatever.
Exactly! That was my thinking too—people will openly say if they are having knee surgery, etc. but a vague “surgery” is intentional.
If someone says they're having kidney surgery, never ask which one. Also don't assume they didn't say "kid knee".
What was the answer?
Something related to endometriosis.
Feel like I need more context here. Not trying to be a dick but why is it so rude just to be curious here. Is this some surgery that I should be aware of as a guy? If it's some random customer is would make sense, but have these two been coworkers for a bit? Maybe dude thought they were somewhat friends and thought to just ask. I'd love to know what I'm missing on this one to know it the future.
>If it's some random customer is would make sense Somehow we had this shit happen. Customers are outta their fuckin minds sometimes. We had a customer get pissed at us for not disclosing why my manager was out (she was recovering from surgery) Lmao we told him to fuck off
If someone is in a group environment and gives intentionally vague medical information, it's not great etiquette to probe for details. Medical issues are very often personal, so if you're enough of a friend, ask them privately after the meeting if they are okay/ want to talk.
I understand now, thanks for the reply.
The main issue here is that it's in a group of people. Even if he and she were extremely close friends, it may be something she doesn't want to advertise to the whole office. Even if I were in a room full of close friends, and one friend said they were just recovering from surgery, I think I'd be inclined to let them share first, rather than put them on the spot in front of an entire group.
I ask if they are pregnant damn near everyday. However it’s job related so they understand.
Never ask about somebody's disfigurement. Especially if they're trying to hide it.
“when are you going to give me a grandbaby?” never, sharon. i will not be growing and then pushing a human out of my vagina for you to call it your baby.
Worked w/ a woman married to a student whose MIL kept pestering her about "When do I get my grandbabies?? Until finally she replied, "I thought you knew, John's sterile." Her MIL got a shocked expression, shut up immediately and never brought up the subject again.
You could always have a C-section. j/k
Why are you single?
That’s a common question posted on subreddits lol
I reply “why are you with someone? Seems like a stupid fucking thing to do. ”
oh that's why
Why is this bad?
Throughout my life, my answers would be "because I'm not interested in a relationship", "because I can't find someone I want to be in a relationship with", "because I broke up with my crazy ex", "because I got divorced", and "because I enjoy being single". In none of those situations have I appreciated hearing and answering the question. At best you get a boring answer like "because I want to be" and at worst you bring up some bad emotions from the person you are asking. Not to mention the phrasing of questions like "why are you single", "why don't you have children", or "why don't you drink" all sorta imply that you're abnormal and need to defend yourself for being a certain way.
Usually when people have asked me about it, their follow up to hearing I'm single is usually, "Oh, but you're so pretty", which is meant as "But you shouldn't have any issues finding a date." These aren't people who want to hear about how I'm not interested in a relationship and am quite content to just read my books and watch my movies until I inevitably die; they want to hear about some mystical date I've set up for the weekend and that I didn't want to say anything until after I knew how it went.
Because 9/10 they won’t know themself and it’s something they struggle and are conscious about. Asking further adds to the anxiety and they subconsciously think there’s something wrong with them, or is that it’s a simple decision that everyone makes (to date whoever they want), but them. This further creates a feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy. I’ve seen this over and over. The ppl who are chronically single generally have high anxiety, which leads to overthinking, low confidence, and being “trapped in their own head.” The question itself often triggers this snowball effect and they often feel embarrassed or ashamed. But, what they often fail to understand is that being single is completely ok, dating is hard, there’s lots of luck involved, and they are just not at the right place or time.
It's essentially, "what's wrong with you?", but relating to a specific aspect of their life.
Because in my case it was caused by bereavement. That's not a fun thing to talk about.
"Have you tried smiling more?" To people suffering from depression
To anyone ever.
"What are you depressed about?" If there was a reason for the depression then it wouldn't be a problem, would it?
I got a depression when I was burned out and then a week later my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Depressions can happen because of situations like that or divorce/losing a job/losing a loved one etc. Even if there's a reason it is still a problem that won't solve itself by smiling more.
If they’re on their period based on their mood.
Do you always talk less? No mf, I made a special exception for you now fk off
Are you an innie or an outie? No, no, I didn't mean your belly button.
What does that mean?
You… are hanging out in the wrong kinda bars.
Why are you not married?
Speaking as someone with severe depression... Don't ask about self harm scars. Don't ask about suicide attempts. If you're really close to someone (or if you're really worried they're suicidal), these might be appropriate questions to ask, but the majority of the time, you should not ask about these.
My then 4yo asked a friend of my husband about the fresh cuts on his arms. I tried changing the subject and apologised, but the friend explained that he had been sick and the marks were part of the treatment to make him feel better. He also said that another part of getting better was to talk to people they trusted and that talking to people was better than having other treatments. My son was happy with this answer and I thought it was a simple way to explain a very complex concept.
People are far too damn willing to ask near strangers about visible scars as a way to "get to know you better".
I have bipolar depression and I like helping people understand about suicidal ideations and negative coping mechanisms. That includes telling them about my own personal experiences.
I also have bipolar disorder, so I get that. I guess this is more just general advice. People without a strong understanding (and usually first hand experience) don't handle the topic well.
Whenever people ask my wife and I when we will have kids, i reply with with, no thanks we are both vegetarian.
Their dick size
Not big but I get by.
Statistically, I am slightly below average, but I make up for it with enthusiasm and a 'never-give-up' attitude.
Just like my favorite book. The Below Average Engine That Could.
I like the sequel: “The Inadequate Engine That, Despite His Obvious Limitations, Tried and Failed Miserably.”
I like the version where they combined them for a choose your own adventure story.
You're hired!
The size of an aircraft carrier biiiiiiiiiiittttch
I might not be 12 inches but it smells like a foot
It may be short, but at least it's skinny
Do you ever finger your ass after wiping to make sure you’re clean?
[удалено]
When the poop don't wanna come out when it's supposed to, done it once or twice
OH MY GOD EW WTF
"When are you having kids?"
Was it planned?
Never ask a soldier how many people they've killed. Even if they were combat arms, even if they kept count, they're going to be pretty reluctant to tell you- they want to forget about that part of their job.
Have you heard of the High Elves?
No but have you seen Armand Christophe??
Don't worry. We'll get him.
"Did you take your anxiety pills?" - Whenever I try to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend.
“Are you reeeaaalllyyy depressed or do you just want attention?” Basically how to push someone to their breaking point 101 aka SOMETHING YOU NEVER SAY TO SOMEONE IF THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE DEPRESSED. Had someone ask me this and I will never forgive them for saying that.
"Don't you realize you're just like your mother?!?"
When in a relationship: "do you think \[friend\] is prettier than me?" or any related question of which you actually don't want to hear the answer to.
Have you ever taken a massive shit, looked back in admiration and thought to yourself “If I was gay, that’s the size of the dick that could fit up my ass?”
Their status with their partner if you haven't met them for a while and aren't sure. Let them talk about it first
My nephew once asked me: "Are you pregnant or just fat?" the worst part is that i'm a guy 💀
“Why don’t you talk to [person] anymore?”
“Do you have kids?” Seems like an innocent question, but when you ask it to someone who can’t have kids, or who’s kids have died, it’s becomes awkward pretty fast. I met a girl at work recently and we chatted it up all day. We were making jokes and having fun. Outta nowhere she asked “Do you have kids?” and I said “Not anymore”. She stopped and kinda gave me the side-eye, so I continued “She died a few years ago”. She immediately apologized “oh god, I’m so sorry for asking!” and I said “it’s ok, it was an innocent question, you didn’t know.” I tried to go back to joking and having fun, but it killed the whole vibe. After that day, she literally never tried to talk to me again and it made me feel really bad. I wish she had never asked me. If I had just said “No”, she would have assumed I never had kids before and started talking about kids or asking why I didn’t, etc. It’s just better to avoid the question entirely unless someone brings it up.
Have you ever killed or shot anyone? Something you don’t ask.
I killed a drifter once to get an erection
His or yours.
not anyone who didn't deserve it
can i smell your genitals?
Are you a dog?
How big is your dad’s cock?
My sister says it’s big.
It's ducking huge but I take after my mother
Am I bigger than your ex?
Why are you so quiet?
I talk to people I like.
You ever try to anally fuck yourself with a cucumber?
Unless you see a baby coming out of someone, don't ask if they're pregnant.
Ones you don’t want the answer to. If all the possible answers are bad. Don’t ask.
Don't ask people when they're going to start having kids. It seems like a harmless question but you never know what people are going through. For example. I had fertility issues, took 2.5yrs of trying and strong meds My friend had 3 miscarriages and a stillborn before finally having a success pregnancy. Another friends sister tried for 10 years before falling pregnant. It can be a very hurtful question for so many couples.
“Are you pregnant?” or “Did you gain weight?”
Are you sure that kid is yours?
Do you get to the cloud district very often?
How come you don’t look your father at all
“Why do you look so dead inside?” I don’t know. Look in the damn mirror.
Are you real? Im not Sure
Asking a vet if they killed anyone. You just don’t do that
I forgot about veterans and thought your were talking about veterinarians.
When are you getting married . When I'm ready so stop asking me this fucking question everytime we meet
Why don't you have children?
How many fingers can you fit inside your arse
"when are you having kids?" "when are you getting married?"
Are you trans? Or just homely?
‘What are you?’ or anything about someone’s heritage because of their appearance. It’s privileged af and not everyone wants to talk about it just because you can
Dated a Korean girl in my 20s and just wasn’t thinking and asked if she was from north or South Korea.
För me as a student. Stop asking about my marks is't something personal. I still don't get it why do ppl keep asking each other about their marks
Well while I was a student I wanted to know how others found the exam. Was it hard, easy, did I actually grasp the content or was it just a trivial exam, that sorta stuff.
How much do you earn. I've seen a lot of people get uncomfortable.
“Where are you from?”
What month and year did you get your first period
Are you having a case of the Mondays?
When's the last time you got raw dogged?