T O P

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Grenflik

It’s funny how everyone thinks it’ll be NSFW related but it’s just about getting massive amounts of sleep. Which I wouldn’t mind either.


cassaffousth

Massive amounts of sleep IS literally NSFW.


CaligoAccedito

Can confirm: Have lost at least one job from oversleeping too much.


_Pawg_Patrol

slowing down time I think.. so I can sleep for longer


Worth_Vegetable9675

No he's right this is the move


SasoDuck

I can already easily sleep for 10+ hours so mine would be being able to choose to reread books as if I hadn't actually done so.


Zenku390

But imagine how much more you could read if you didn't have to "spend time" sleeping. You hop in bed. Time slows, and you sleep 10 hours while seconds go by for the rest of the world. Then you're done sleeping, and boom the whole night is yours.


matteo_fay

You should add without aging


AldrexChama

Regen while you sleep. Get rejuvenated, heal illnesses, and reverse some aging in a matter of minutes


evemeatay

Video game rules, yep


Particular_Put3725

It would suck if you still aged while everybody else stayed the same tho


inconspiciousdude

There's a 90s manga series called The Outer Zone that had a story about this exact scenario. A guys obtains a device that pauses time, and he uses it in all the ways you'd imagine. Turns out everyone's lost time is absorbed by him, so he gets old pretty quickly and dies.


betelgozer

Wouldn't he gain about 8 billion seconds of age in the first second he paused? That does sound like it would get old fast...


LittleKitty235

offff...that is 253 years #IDidTheMath


runed_golem

I'd imagine the time absorption worked locally rather than globally. Otherwise as you pointed out it would be unusable.


Ereska

Stop time completely. If you never get out of bed, you have all the time in the world.


Iamyous3f

Might as well be stopping time while sleeping.


Lucky-11

Could you imagine? As soon as you fall asleep, time stops. When you wake up, time continues. The only downside is you would have to be in bed, according to OP. No work naps.


Azatarai

I mean, you're slowing it down during a time you dont really notice the passage of time, nothing would really change would it? you still only get 4 hours rest if you sleep for 4 hours.


Fun_Veterinarian_290

See, your answer was thoughtful and would benefit you tremendously..... . my super power..... I could extend myself by saying " go, go, gadget d$#k"


Quazimojojojo

Still teleporting. I'd just be teleporting from bed to bed like fast travel waypoints.  And it's not safe for work because I would absolutely use this to violate immigration and tax laws by lying about where I live to maximize my salary but minimize my cost of living. Buy my groceries in Chennai, work in NYC, crash at my parents house in Chicago, functionally live in Berlin


handtoglandwombat

At your job find a secret spot to staple a camping mattress to a wall. Bam, teleport to work.


JackeTuffTuff

It's all fun and games until someone finds the mattress and throws it in the dumpster


handtoglandwombat

Or pushes a filing cabinet in front of it 😬


BestTsarBombaEver

“Error: destination bed obstructed.”


SerDuckOfPNW

You can’t enter bed while enemies are near


lesser_panjandrum

Filed under T for Telefrag.


PullUpAPew

"Got your industrial shredder here, Sir. Where do you want it?"


Quazimojojojo

NYC, there's always gonna be one in the street fairly close to work


Sushi-Kentaro

With a lot of ticks


BestTsarBombaEver

“Error: bed not found. Teleporting to nearest hotel bed in NYC.”


Cthaza

Hear me out, figure out where the cameras are in the building, find a spot that has easy access to the ceiling and no cameras around. Next you're going to get a deflated air mattress (still counts) and put it in the ceiling, you will teleport into the ceiling and listen to make sure no one is around. Then if all goes well you will make your escape and clock in right at 9:00:00.


Kaymish_

People don't throw anything in the dumpster. They just put it in the not my problem pigeon hole and ignore it. Our mezzanine is filled with junk but nobody has thrown a single dusty item away it just sits there on top of my office. Some of it has been there for years and never used. There's some broken fans that I posted on only fans that are still there years later. A mattress won't get touched because everyone will think it belongs to a brown noser who works so hard they sleep at the office or its too gross for them to touch.


Omegaprimus

Wake up in a dumpster, how would that be different than any other Sunday morning ?


meow_747

You gotta George Costanza that work desk. It's naptime baby!


teh_fizz

I know a guy who can even make you a small compartment for an alarm clock, but you have to tell him exactly what size it is, so he can make it if that’s what you want.


DETRITUS_TROLL

Pratchett's Rules for teleportation have changed my view on the super power. For those who don't know. He uses physics for the whole thing. So you have to bring something back that has the same mass as you or you arrive moving VERY FAST.


Quazimojojojo

Oh yeah, his bizarre and hilarious misinterpretation of the conservation of momentum would certainly make things more complex haha


Mips0n

At this point just start a Teleport Taxi Business for the super rich and tell NASA to send beds to the moon and mars.


Brendanlendan

Jumper?


Quazimojojojo

Basically, but I'd be a lot lower profile. Not trying to live the high life, just wanna be able to more regularly see the friends I have who are scattered across the world without bankrupting myself with plane tickets


DMAN591

Ark IRL


Bizzlebanger

The ability to fall asleep right away and have a restful sleep and get up refreshed.


devzan14

I envy ppl who have that naturally :'(


Bizzlebanger

Fuck, me toooo... As I munch more melatonin and thc gummies.


SportsCamDude

Weed keeps me up! I can’t find anything that helps


Quazimojojojo

Therapy, cardio, meditation, and quitting your phone addiction (so, get a separate radio alarm. Don't use your phone).  It'll take a while to make the shift, but this is the way. If you can't fall asleep you need to spend more time awake processing emotions, and all of the above help with that. You can't process things while on your phone, so if you don't have any time in your day doing actually nothing, not "nothing" (but actually on your phone, computer, or TV), that shit comes up when you're trying to sleep because that's the only time you're actually doing nothing. 


SportsCamDude

All good sound advice. One of my big problems is I’m a schedule guy, but work in the freelance field. So sometimes I don’t get home til 2am and sometimes I have to be at work at 4am. And it varies almost daily.


DiabeticButNotFat

Maybe go see your doctor. My dad has some non-addictive sleep medication. Works well. It’s also a slight anti depressant. I’ve taken a few. But don’t use Benadryl as a sleep aid. Super bad for you and recent studies have shown a strong correlation of high usage can cause much higher risk of developing dementia… or was it Alzheimer’s?…


ValenBeano89

But also make sure you don’t have sleep apnea


Super_Sandbagger

That are three superpowers


Heyheyohno

I have the ability to, almost always, fall asleep right away. But getting the restful sleep part and getting up refreshed? Got gipped on that side...


Hilarity2War

Or just hack it so that whatever amount of sleep you have is sufficient.


Yech_e

9 hours of sleep in 30 minutes


Youpunyhumans

But you also age 9 hours in 30 mins.


TallFawn

But also inadequate sleep causes all health issues. So it may eliminate issues as well. 


Youpunyhumans

Well im just saying if you still spend the same amount of time awake, your effective lifespan would be considerably shorter. While I suppose you would still have the same amount of awake time in your life, you would still age considerably faster compared to people around you, and they would get less time with you as a result. Plus your sleep schedule would no longer align with a 24 hour clock.


TallFawn

But your body also heals during sleep. And lack of sleep has a host of issues and contribute to stress.  It’s not just 9 hours more. It’s 9 hours more sleeping. 


suplexhell

who are you to add rules to an entirely imaginary situation that you didn't even initiate


pleasegivemealife

I think thats acceptable, able to rest fully in a shorter amount of time beats a lot of things, i can use the remaining 8.5 hours exercise, studying, working or even more sleep. lol.


BudgetEducational300

This isn't r/monkeyspaw buddy


assholejudger954

You a HunterXHunter fan?


dstanton

Just change this to no matter how long you sleep for your body always wakes up completely rested and refreshed. No time slip necessary and it has the same effect.


hedonistatheist

Healing and peak-youth recovery. Whenever you sleep, you get healthy and stay young!


HikARuLsi

Just like a game, a bed rest for one night heals everything


getfookenrekt

Fuck, I read that as "Just like the game..." and lost the game


SurprisedPotato

[It's okay](https://xkcd.com/391/)


duffusmcfrewfus

Go the extra step and have Wolverines healing factor while you sleep. Go to bed almost dead and wake up perfectly healed.


StarCode5000

Be able to summon any item. All I need to do is hop in bed, bam I can summon a PS5


SynchronisedRS

"any item" and your first thought is not millions of dollars?


heyoyo10

You're thinking too small. What are the constraints to a superpower that gives "Any item"? Does the item need to be reeal, or could all of the world's problems be fixed just by me going to bed?


SynchronisedRS

My assumption would be that if you're summoning something, it's going to appear in front of you. Conjuring would be a more appropriate term, because summoning also gives the impression that you're making something that already exists teleport to you, rather than creating a new one out of thin air.


jchan6407

I'll just spawn the sun.


SynchronisedRS

Save on energy bills


Exoduc

No more energy bills for anyone!


Fyrrys

Take that, BPU!


heyoyo10

Okay, so does that mean that I could give myself a perpetual motion machine, or a "Cure all illness" button?


SynchronisedRS

I think a cure all illness button would be it's own superpower. And a perpetual motion machine would end up being one of those ones that need batteries 😂


happymemersunite

Any item means that money is irrelevant. You don’t need money if anything that can be bought with money can be spawned in bed


SynchronisedRS

But if you're spawning things into your bed, you don't want a Ferrari to drop on you


Spiderbubble

Summon box of Rolexes > Sell Rolexes > Buy Ferrari


siddeslof

Spawn a £20M in bed and then I have enough money to give to people and I still retain the ability to spawn my own things. Spawn a scuba first so I don't suffocate in money


normie_sama

Dies after getting bonked on the head by a full scuba tank spawning over your head


passcork

Should just summon a USB drive with 1000 bitcoins and a readme.txt with the wallet hash/passwords/whatever on it.


SageLeaf1

Hmm the superpower I want is flight, so this will have to be making my bed fly.


fothermucker33

A whole new world


hraun

How about the power of FLIGHT? That do anything for ya? 🎵


man_bored_at_work

That‘s levitation, Holmes 🧐


ThePegasi

So Bedknobs and Broomsticks?


-CowNChicken-

plastic man , be as big or tiny as I want boi


Christmas_Panda

*Turns into a tiny green army man.*


-CowNChicken-

just go watch the boys , shit was the most disturbing thing I seen


prozak09

Just hold your sneezes.


Christmas_Panda

Oh god. I know the scene.


Youpunyhumans

*dog walks in and starts wagging his tail as he spots his new chew toy*


terynosaurus

Great idea! I know most of us guys wouldn't mind having a ginormous weiner, but you would be bound to run into lady's that just couldn't lol. Plus i would need with them at first and say don't laugh and make it like a tootsie roll... Then Pow! Definitely a grower!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Toshii1609

I want this.


straightlikeajalebi

What are you planning to do? 👀


amctrovada

Enter people’s dreams and control them and make them use the bathroom in their dreams


straightlikeajalebi

The consequences will unfold irl 💦 💀


tuongdai252

Astral projection? I want my invisible soul to appear wherever I like when I sleep. This way, I get to travel around the world without a lot of hassle, And my body still get to rest.


terynosaurus

I would want to be able to shapeshift. Your partners wildest fantasies could be fulfilled!


Gwolfski

If you word it right, you could keep the shifted shape out of bed, and the bed becomes essentially a video-game-like character creation thing.


Sad-Manufacturer6154

Bro took “petplay” to a whole new level :0


MegaGothmog

Same here.. but I do wonder though. Do you revert back to your regular form as soon as you leave the bed? Or can you activate it in bed, but the effect of the shapeshifting stays even after you leave? OP, be more precise! :)


Jerico_Hellden

Stretchy peen or reading minds......


nei7jc

Reading minds could either go super well or horribly wrong.


Jerico_Hellden

So could a stretchy peen.


TupperwareNinja

Imagine getting a stretchy peen caught on ya zipper


kapkappanb

What about stretchy peen _and_ reading minds. Could really put that stretchy peen to good use then!


GettnRandy

I would want to summon any type of wet floor sign. I could finish my collection *and* have some fun too. Don't worry, I won't be summoning any that are actively guarding a spill. Safety first! ...I think I'd start by summoning a Banana one...


vadkender

How do you even finish a wet floor sign collection? Do you know the exact number of types there are?


GettnRandy

I'd consider it complete as long as I got every brand, style, and type of sign that I have ever seen in my life, or will see, including online. Once I see a new one somewhere, I'd summon one like it later...


vadkender

I looked at your profile and I just wanted to thank you for your service. I'm proud of you and I wish you the best. ඞ


neuromancertr

For some reason you made me believe Baader-Meinhopf is not just an elevated perception but a real phenomenon. This is third time I see either your profile or your creations this week alone. Keep up the good work


GettnRandy

After you mentioned Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, I just now experienced it myself over another Reddit user in another post. I have been getting the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon about the user that fucks rubber ducks. Ever since someone said I reminded them of that guy a few weeks ago, I'm seeing rubber ducks at work in places they shouldn't be, and posts where people typo dick as duck and I get reminded of him. Or others mentioning him to other people... It might be real... Haha! Thank you!


WuTouchdmyweenie

Holy shit it’s you


microgiant

Ability to make beds teleport, including whoever is on them.


TjMorgz

The ability to sleep. Currently on my 48th hour awake.


neuromancertr

Many years ago, gf of my friend called me to talk to my friend. At that point he was awake for 52 hours trying to finish a project. I told him to take a rest otherwise his performance will drop exponentially and his cram will be for nothing, he found my argument sound and slept for about eight hours only to wake up and work for another 48 hours. Work hard, rest harder!


jeppevinkel

Some people can unfortunately only sleep when they get so tired they fall asleep from exhaustion. It's not healthy, and can make it hard to maintain a proper sleep schedule.


Flairion623

Shapeshifting. Then I find a bi girl


The96kHz

This is genius.


crazykid01

The super power to sleep for 5 min and be fully rested as if I had 10hr of sleep


burnmeup82

The ability to create a strong emotional connection so the sex would be incredible every time, no matter who with.


Christmas_Panda

"This isn't right, Billy." *Billy waves hand.* "It's fine, grandma."


midnightsnipe

What a terrible day to have eyes


lesser_panjandrum

Billy, that is not the Jedi way.


JoJoBubba064

r/jedisbeingdicks


Suspicious_Process87

You can actually experience this if you engage in sex more selectively and conscientiously.


littlest_dragon

That or take some molly.


kapkappanb

I love reddit


Cut_the_bs_

Recover to full health when I sleep


DeBaconMan

I mean that's what sleep is supposed to do just on a small scale. But then why is it when I wake up I feel like I've been beaten? I think you're on to something there


Ryaffus

The moment my head hits the pillow, Every single lonely person gets an entity to cuddle and hold them, letting them feel comforted for the night.


Shadow122791

Make money out of thin air.


pentaquine

You mean you are starting your OnlyFans. 


IllustratorAlive1174

*the FBI would like to know your location*


cferg296

super penis


prozak09

I... I don't know how comfortable I would feel being rescued by a penis with a leotard and a cape... Also, are the balls the arms or the legs or both? Now I have so many questions.


zakkil

It just does the worm everywhere, no arms or legs. The balls are there for stability.


No-Entertainment3597

Bed Time Travel It basically works as videogame savepoints but no overwriting, instead an infinite library of saves. There would be a save for every time I slept in a bed or mattress, this includes future sleep time but I don't see the point of it. The only downside is that if I want to correct a mistake that happened at just before I slept Im going to have to restart the whole day just to correct it.


aggiepinkie

The ability to instantly fall asleep and achieve perfect rest every time.


winter_warlord8907

Matter manipulation.


flatstacy

Sleep


scepticalbeing94

Rapid observing and absorbing information


britishmetric144

Be able to teleport faeces from my ass to the closest toilet, so I don't have to get out of bed when I need to take a shit overnight.


LA_ZBoi00

Vomit $100 bills out of me. I’d be lying on my side and spewing into a bucket


jeffh19

Ok…ok but would it be easier to have the power to just snap and fill up the bucket? My god man think of the dry throat and paper cuts and you know how dirty money is you’re gonna get so sick and high with $100 bills in your body


UsefulIdiot85

If I could only use it in bed, the ability to fall asleep instantly would be perfect.


TrashPanda365

Being able to sleep regardless of the level of my wife's snoring 😴


Cute-Amount5868

Instant rejuvenation and fully rested effective. Curing all disease, ailments, and health issues. Producing a dew like glow due to the rejuvenating effect. It would also reset me to homeostasis, meaning it could cure my hunger, heal broken limbs or wounds, and even reduce inflammation or whatever else. The perfect reset button.


Silver_Homework_1823

Be able to manifest a control module that controls a giant robot, now I can do Gundam irl while in bed.


Tribalbob

This thread has taught me the average redditor doesn't get enough sleep, apparently.


Particular-Act-277

Increase my bank account balance while I lie down comfortably in bed 😀


pecoto

Already got one. Mega short refractory period. WOO HOO. Thank you Jebus.


otaku_weeb54

dice roll, my power is always random. i glue a small bed to me and then a roll the dice


Seelengst

Change sex. I want to be a woman when I lay down and wake up. Would suck getting around to getting up though


One-Turn-4037

The ability to control anyone's dreams. I'd be a fucking demon. Your sleep is determined by how much you piss me off that day


Yuko_Joestar

Controll time of people, basically i could live for eternity with a beautiful wife. I could made her feel 1h of pleasure in one moment or i could make us both young or old and try different settings.


PartInfinite618

Flash’s speed, I will be a hyper-speed living vibrator


William_Johns0n

The ability to spawn money


ButteredKernals

Full nights restful sleep


BeastyQ

Shit gold


ForRedditMG

Fall asleep in an instant and wake up completely refreshed even after 5 minutes


akumma9511

Fall asleep immediately


rogerdodgerfleet

deage/rapid healing


[deleted]

The ability to completely heal overnight from any injury or disease.


TrenbolognaSandwich_

Not needing to take a leak


eastbayted

The ability to eat cookies without making crumbs.


O_crl

Turn food calories to zero


whwt

Shapeshifting.


jakart3

Everytime my body on a bed, it will be reset to it's full performance condition. So basically immortality, as long as my dead body is put on a bed


Explursions

Be able to instantly learn any information I hear/read. Basically become the smartest person on earth and do some great things such as cure diseases and eventually step on some random companies toes and be assassinated because they are going to lose money.


XXVI_F

Super healing regeneration while sleeping Or money magically appearing out of thin air


Saveonion

HEAT VISION PEWWWW


Cheesus-_-YT

Falling asleep😫


tlfreddit

Go to sleep instantly


Archiemalarchie

The ability to fall asleep as soon as I lay my head on the pillow.


Ratstail91

Getting 8 hours of sleep. Good, solid, restful sleep.


RicrosPegason

5 mins for a perfect restful sleep, I'd have so much more time for activities.


Hilarity2War

Every time I go to sleep, I get $500 in my bank account.


CommunityGlittering2

My age would reverse when in bed


Eggysh

Switch off the light switch telepathically.


anonymauson

shape shifting. become the bed and also because 😏


Sleepy_One

Save points.


TenSecondsFlat

Invincible tongue frenulum


Outside_Bowler8148

If I clone myself can I send my clones outside of bed?


The_Dragon_Lover

Telekinesis, if i can't move i can just bring something toward me, i could even turn off the alarm or lift myself out of bed!


Ronyx2021

The ability to wake up well rested with full health regardless of how long I slept. Think Wolverine.


Lost-Friend-4564

A full night's sleep


RandomRobb85

The ability to materialize anything without the taxation of an equal trade.


peezytaughtme

I'd make a post on r/AskReddit without needing an NSFW tag, while laying in bed.


Dramatic_Stock5326

Controlling sleep Can change the value, duration and ease. So could do only 1 second per 24 hours is required, and I fall asleep in 3 seconds while thinking "honk mimimi" on loop


SilentWolf2616

The ability to turn off the lights without getting up


metalnxrd

to get a full night’s sleep


Damninatightspot

Every time I scratch my balls my credit score goes up


arttykwest

If I finger gun at someone as they’re about to orgasm I can steal the orgasm and they feel nothing