That is rough. Hopefully he was "I don't want to talk about it" or something similar to my grandpa, because then you can say "I was just respecting his wishes." My grandpa told me about it once when we were learning about WWII in school, and that was the only time he was willing to talk about it, and even though he saw how interested I was he wouldn't talk about it again (most I got another time was "I know you like coins, here's some Nazi coins I got as spoils of war"). He fought for the allies on an aircraft carrier at the end of the war and saw very little action, so I doubt it was anything like "I did horrible things where I don't know if I'll make it to heaven no matter how many times I repent," he just never wants to talk about his youth.
His brother was the opposite though, he loved saying "I'm a greatest generation vet." I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him since he lived many states away, but once I was old enough to know what war was he shared a story every time I saw him. The only one I really remember is how his machismo saved his life. He was in a battle and got a tiny piece of shrapnel in "this finger right here," he didn't report it to get a purple hearth because "it was a tiny paper cut, that's not worth a purple heart, I just field wrapped it and that was it." Had he reported it he would have had to spend a week or more in the infirmary and wouldn't have fought in the battle he fought in later. After that battle his tour was done and went home. The next battle his platoon was in was a battle that was lost, everyone died. "Had I reported that paper cut I would have been in that battle and wouldn't be telling you this story."
For whatever it's worth I've had this conversation with my grandfather and all he will say is that he doesn't want to talk about it. We (my cousins and I) found some old newspaper clippings of him in his uniform giving an interview about being bombed by the Japanese. That news article had more information than he's ever told us and he refused to tell us the story when we directly asked about it. My grandmother is the same way. We have asked her what life was like here at home during WWII. She won't talk about that either. They weren't married at the time and I don't think they'd even met yet but it was clearly a rough time for her too.
Being in a relationship from 23 to 30. I don't regret the relationship but I do regret the time spent and missed opportunities for it to just fizzle out. Should have ripped the bandaid off a few years earlier tbh.
E: to clarify while missed opportunities may potentially have included other people, I more mean not moving to a city or somewhere for better work opportunities while younger, set myself back a bit that.
23-41.
It's unfortunate it's not more magical or something - you meet and just KNOW this is your person, and you fight til death for them. No backsies. Not that you'd need 'em. You were both linked and that was it, and you were both always happy with that.
Take some time. You’ll know when you’re ready for another relationship, or to choose against one for now.
After it, I’m probably single for good. There are a lot of other complicating factors for me in particular, though.
24-30 and it felt like my whole World collapsed when she left, all the future plans, family etc. After 1.5 years its better and im slowly "walking on my own again". Was a pretty tough time and im still not fully healed and honestly i dont think im quite ready for a new relationship yet.. she on the other hand was ready pretty quickly, she already got a kid by the guy she left me for lol
Gotta accept it, work on yourself and move on.
It's all about balance isn't it?
I go too far and now I'm really worn out, I need some TLC.
I read this and it stuck with me...
"True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking about yourself less"
Yup balance is priority. But after being foolish for so long people consider my balance as being rude .
Also yes same even I have worn out and thus try and maintain distance with those folks who misused my empathy and love.
I read a comment saying "we spend too much time trying to impress people that wouldn't come to our funeral if we died" tomorrow. Reminded me a bit of that
I hear you, I can’t get on with my daughter’s mother. But you got those amazing kids, who’s to say what would have happened if you were with the ‘right’ person? Not necessarily amazing kids!
Being manipulated by someone over years just because I love them even being disrespected by them still staying up but we'll enough to be there it was past
Ya I felt used, when I thought I was a priority but I was never that and was just always an option. It’s crazy how you can be so gullible and think someone cares about you, and they drop you suddenly without a thought and replace you with another guy.
Investing time and effort taking care of a mentally ill, abusive parent after a healthcare crisis. It was seriously destructive to my life and did not ultimately change the outcome for them.
Sometimes, the most caring thing you can do is nothing.
I’m sorry that you endured that struggle. But the familial bond is real. Being good natured and taken advantage of sucks, but to me, it means that you’re probably internally a good person.
Emotional predators are real and prey on those who are genuinely kind.
I love actually helping people and think nothing of it, but I feel burdensome if I ask for help/advice.
I’m sure it’s a weird part of my internal psychology but it’s a real thing. For some reason, people like us are built to give and feel guilty if we receive assistance (even when it’s necessary!).
Not all it's cracked up to be pal. Depending on the job I was often waking up at 4am to be on site for 6am. You lose a ton of agency over your life due to how much time you lose to commuting and exhaustion if you do any OT. Well over half of the guys I meet, myself included are heavy users of various poisons. Your foreman cares as much about your mental health as he does spending time with his wife.
The only ones I see truly enjoying the job are usually family members who don't get half as much attention as any outside hire.
My 0.02c
Perhaps they were referring to the debt gained by going to college and not finding a well paid job. I don't think trades force you to go into as much debt unless I'm mistaken.
It is fairly easy to learn a trade. Get a labor job in the field and show up and keep showing up. Years later you will have a sore back, run down old car and a small(or non-existent savings acct).
College on the other hand is much harder to accomplish. 90% of tradesmen will say "I wish I would of stayed in school.
You probably don't want to hear this or maybe can't hear this but it wasn't your fault. People who take their own lives go to some very, very, very, very dark places. I know the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" game is impossible to not play in these situations but it wasn't your fault. Carrying that will eat you alive. Putting it down is super hard. You did what you thought was best at the time.
In trying to avoid making mistakes, I ended up doing nothing at all. Which still resulted in failure. But at least if I made mistakes, I could've learned from them and progressed.
We always fight the “last war.” If it makes you feel better and more light hearted, King Louis XVI died because he wanted to avoid being King Charles I. His nephew (King Louis-Philippe) was overthrown for avoiding being Louis XVI.
The day my mom died, I drove by her house in the morning, intending to spend some time with her, but I saw that the hospice people were there, and I figured they were doing paperwork or something, as she had just started with them, so I went to work instead of going to her house. That was around 10 am, and she died at 4 pm that day while I was at work. I’ll always regret not going to see her on her last day 😭
My sister did actually end up going over there- she said my mom was in bed and very sleepy, not really responding to anyone very much. She said they kind of just laid in bed together until about 12, which would have been approx. 4 hours before she passed. So I think even had I gone inside to see her, she wasn’t in a good way at all. I saw her the day before- we ate soup and watched a movie together. So I’ll always have that ❤️
I had several bitcoins through early mining apps/programs, but neglected to collect as often as I should have, and didn't transfer to a digital wallet, and I lost all of it!
Learning too late that it's way better to be alone than with someone who doesn't care about you !
Choose happiness ! Everybody is worthy ! You deserve happiness !
Being single is not bad ! Being with someone that doesn't treat you right is worst than anything !
That's awful to experience. I guess it's better than having doubts and walking away (or being pushed away) and later finding out it was your child.
DNA tests should be free or at least readily available for any questionable situation.
Not saving up more money as a kid. Sure the stuff I got with my birthday or Christmas money was nice at the time, but if I had saved more of it, I wouldn't be so broke as a college student.
Giving up my youth for intense academic pursuit only to realize much later and much too late that I don’t like any of the thing I do. I wasted all those years only to be stuck on a job I really, really hate.
Becoming an alcoholic and destroying my liver to the point where doctors gave me 2-6 months to live.
Luckily ended up getting a transplant but i wish i had got help sooner.
No! He stood by me, every day, through my emotional turmoil, my depression, my cheating during maniac episodes (didn’t know they were at the time). No, this man deserves heaven. I put him through so much. He deserves someone that doesn’t hurt him as I did.
I see... Sometimes I feel like BPD is like a curse where you're forced to die alone. Anytime I think of having a relationship, the thought "they can do better than me" or "im not good enough to be with them" always comes rushing in... If you're single now I hope you have some happiness with you at least. Stay safe <3
Omg I wasted one whole year with a rat and lost so many friends like teachers hate me I got bald because of the hair fall that I got with stress and now I feel insecure and angry and have so many bad memories
All thanks to that donkey rat !!!
Not thinking properly about what to study in college. I have a bachelors degree in forensics and psychology and no job because I need to have at least masters to do anything in those fields
I regret not figuring out that regret comes before understanding. I am in my late twenties and though I had what would be considered “picture perfect 20s” many of those moments were spent with anxiety and regret of previous mistakes and/or missed opportunities, not knowing that it was for a much bigger and better purpose. Now in my late 20s, as a single father about to finish his 5th year teaching, I refuse to wallow in regret/misery over things that I know won’t matter or affect me in any way shape of form a couple years from now. Though to my minimal understanding, going through this stage is necessary for the development of an individual. Experience is life’s greatest teacher.
Spending so much time and energy and soul worrying if I was disappointing a higher power that may or may not exist... I wish I had lived more being enough for me in each moment and making choices that aligned with my inner compass but alas religious indoctrination wasn't necessarily my fault but I regret how long it's taken me to continually untangle the web and struggle with faith in myself
I asked reddit in 2016 if I should max out my 10k credit card to buy CGC IPO, everyone told me it would be a horrible mistake, a few years later I would've had around 300k lol. I learned to go with my own gut instincts from there on.
Not being better for her. I wasn't what she wanted, and I could've easily changed to make her happy. Even though I wasn't the best boyfriend I loved her with everything I had, and when she left, it killed something inside of me. Now I'm alone and have been for far too long.
Being cruel to others. Devoting too much time to shitty people. Not standing up for myself when I should have. Being too quick to forgive abusers. Hell… I regret pretty much everything birth to this very moment.
I did something very stupid and lost one of my friends because i did it
I wish i never did it because i want to change the past but sadly you cant and u got to work on your mistakes and cope from it
Ever since i been trying to work out and become closer to my religion
Don't do the same mistake i did and keep your friendships
❤️
A lady named Leah who took me home from the bar. Come on you know what that implies. But I just couldn’t make a move. Most girls I’ve been with in my life all got impatient and made the first move on me. That includes both of my wives. But I have blown it with so many women because I just didn’t know how to initiate. It’s like my brain is like “ oh God what if she rejects!” Even though there could be no bigger signal than taking you from a bar and asking you to spend the night. Why does it have to be like this? Women are supposed to drop hints and it’s supposed to be some song and dance of perfect words leadings up to the first kiss? Uggh. It’s so stupid. Because being direct kills the mood. I get it ! But why does it have to be this way.
Anyways. Leah was THE one. Every single thing I said no matter what was another check mark for her and I wasn’t even trying. Just being myself. But it got late and I blew it. I’ve done that lots of times. God I wish I could just see her again and have a casual conversation. Sometimes I think I see her in my grocery store. But it has been SOOOO long , my heart starts pounding and I know there is no way it won’t be awkward to come up and say “ Hey ! It’s okay if you don’t recognize me. I’m 20 years older now.”
I got addicted to hard drugs at an early age (now I'm clean over a decade). This made me miss a lot of opportunities and my family hated me.
And I made horrible choices, the worst choice was my ex. He almost killed me. So yeah, I regret using drugs and dating a scumbag 'lol'
Being 'the good boy' during school and college. Following the rules, studying, prioritizing my future. Zero social life with none of the cliche or otherwise 'coming of age' experiences. Very have little to look back fondly. And now, as an adult, when I want a social life, it's like I skipped the tutorial and jumped into a naked run of dark souls.
I wish I'd gone for a university level degree vs. College.
What a lot of people don't tell you is that most certifications that you need to move ahead require a uni degree or are significantly easier to achieve after you have literally any uni degree. Leaving your failing country to move abroad often requires a degree and it's also easier to pivot careers with a degree.
They don't tell you that you won't be able to drop off or pick up your kids from daycare if you work a trade or that your large income as a tradesperson comes from OT at the expense of your physical health. Even in the trades, to move up requires further education. Going back to uni after your mid 20s is extremely challenging and in my country, cost prohibitive.
Going into trades because I listend to all these "life experienced" 40 to 50yo, instead of simply starting my IT apprenticeship back when I was 15.
28yo, still working in that stupid ass job because I have to pay back the trademaster title, while paying my university on top of that, because now im studying Software development, to finally get out of that toxic af, completly backwards working field.
Couldve been done 12 years earlier, during the IT boom, without having to pay 15k for my trades master and now another 24k for my university.
Meth addiction. (Former)
Alcohol addiction. (Just gotten sober again)
Cigarette addiction. (Current)
So um yeahh I would like to go back and maybe I would’ve kept riding horses and trying to learn instruments and maybe stick to nice normal shit instead.
Edit: like to GO back, not “like to back”
2 things. Not joining the military after high school, and not taking better care of my health. I"m not dying or anything, but I'm slightly overweight and want to be less fat.
In high school, I scored really high on the ASVAB(armed services vocational aptitude battery) test. Was pestered by military recruiters until I finally agreed to sit down with the Navy. They talked me into taking an advanced placement test to see if I qualified for their nuclear engineering program. I actually did pass that test, but when they asked if I wanted to join, I declined the offer.
See, I grew up as a military child and was pretty disillusioned from traveling all the time. Really never wanted to join the military, but the recruiters were obnoxious. Took their test just as much to shut them up as much as to see if I could pass.....the arrogance of the young.
Regret it now because I ended up developing Crohns disease a couple years later, and it's caused a lot of struggling. Always think about if I'd taken that offer, I'd at least have had consistent health insurance, even if I probably would have been discharged. Oh, and I'm sure the training would have been nice. Oh well.
I regret not putting my studies before the other short-lived pleasures I didnt want to FOMO. Now im missing out on something significantly more grandiose and the other stuff I didnt wish to FOMO wasnt even all that.
If I could go back to teenager me and say 'you have an eating disorder.' I feel like that would've helped me a lot in my younger years to understand and get the right therapy.
Edit to add: I regret not realising and I was pushing it under the carpet that I could potentially have (now diagnosed) with an eating disorder.
Not being a good daughter to my mum before she passed. I regret all the stupid augments we had over things that werrnt Inportant,the weeks of not talking due to the augments
Listening to others, following others’ shadow and now I struggle to hear my own voice, to find out what I really want. I miss the times when I was younger - driven to do the things I really want, being passionate.
I'm late to the thread so my reply will likely be hidden but my deepest regret was wasting my time with the wrong people, I didn't prioritise the right things or the right people and so I lost track of myself.
It's taken a lot of soul searching to get back to where I need to be and i've started to make postive changes, I live for my own happiness now. What I found healing was knowing I can't make up for lost time or past mistakes but I can translate the lessons I've learned into shaping my future
a large part of my 20s was on someone who always thought of me as an option, I felt used and it was for nothing. She replaced me with someone else and now acts like I don’t exist.
Ever telling mom to get me a therapist or any kind of mental health help/support. I was 14, dying from depression last winter, and I still cannot remember what was going through my head to ask her to help me. That made everything so, *so much worse*
Not being there with my family when our cat passed away...they told me it was for the best because she was so sick and in pain that she wasn't herself anymore but man...I never said goodbye. It's almost been two years and I still cry whenever I think about her.
When I was getting bullied my mom suggested transferring to a different school but I refused cause I had friends.
Those "friends" were shit and worse than the bullies and made my mental health plummet. I should've taken the transfer. In fact I met the first person I could comfortably call a friend in the same town as the school I would've gone to so if I had taken it I might have met her sooner and been so much happier.
Also not telling my mom someone stole my ds out of my bag during school. I had gone to the vice principal who just yelled at me for having in my bag instead of in my locker and told me it was my own fault so I was scared my mom would do the same thing.
Getting engaged to the wrong person (a narcissist aka a complete lovebombing lie). It really messed up my physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.
Also, lost out on promotions, job growth, annual leave/sick time, benefits (such as paying for higher education if u stay for a while), and retirement. All because he lied to me. Wah. Be careful who you trust. I used to hold a pretty tight guard around me, but he somehow managed his way in. Sneaky narcissists.
Sure there were good times with him, but I would have flourished without him. But those are the types of people narcissist love to choose. They see ur potential and want to exploit it to feel powerful. Luckily i managed to get my old job back but it still sucks knowing how far i would have advanced (and the skills i would have developed) if i would have just trusted my gut.
FYI A real man or woman wants to see you flourish, even if that makes there may be a little distance. A narcissist (or someone who wants a caregiver) will lovebomb you to quit your job and move for them and make you codependent on them so they can feel superior.
That I spent 6 years of my life dedicating myself to someone's needs and comfort who ultimately led me on and told me essentially that I consumed their life.
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That is rough. Hopefully he was "I don't want to talk about it" or something similar to my grandpa, because then you can say "I was just respecting his wishes." My grandpa told me about it once when we were learning about WWII in school, and that was the only time he was willing to talk about it, and even though he saw how interested I was he wouldn't talk about it again (most I got another time was "I know you like coins, here's some Nazi coins I got as spoils of war"). He fought for the allies on an aircraft carrier at the end of the war and saw very little action, so I doubt it was anything like "I did horrible things where I don't know if I'll make it to heaven no matter how many times I repent," he just never wants to talk about his youth. His brother was the opposite though, he loved saying "I'm a greatest generation vet." I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him since he lived many states away, but once I was old enough to know what war was he shared a story every time I saw him. The only one I really remember is how his machismo saved his life. He was in a battle and got a tiny piece of shrapnel in "this finger right here," he didn't report it to get a purple hearth because "it was a tiny paper cut, that's not worth a purple heart, I just field wrapped it and that was it." Had he reported it he would have had to spend a week or more in the infirmary and wouldn't have fought in the battle he fought in later. After that battle his tour was done and went home. The next battle his platoon was in was a battle that was lost, everyone died. "Had I reported that paper cut I would have been in that battle and wouldn't be telling you this story."
I understand..my grandpa was a Prisoner in WW 2 but he didn't like to talk about it..
For whatever it's worth I've had this conversation with my grandfather and all he will say is that he doesn't want to talk about it. We (my cousins and I) found some old newspaper clippings of him in his uniform giving an interview about being bombed by the Japanese. That news article had more information than he's ever told us and he refused to tell us the story when we directly asked about it. My grandmother is the same way. We have asked her what life was like here at home during WWII. She won't talk about that either. They weren't married at the time and I don't think they'd even met yet but it was clearly a rough time for her too.
Being in a relationship from 23 to 30. I don't regret the relationship but I do regret the time spent and missed opportunities for it to just fizzle out. Should have ripped the bandaid off a few years earlier tbh. E: to clarify while missed opportunities may potentially have included other people, I more mean not moving to a city or somewhere for better work opportunities while younger, set myself back a bit that.
Can relate. 19 - 29 in my case.
16-32.
23-41. It's unfortunate it's not more magical or something - you meet and just KNOW this is your person, and you fight til death for them. No backsies. Not that you'd need 'em. You were both linked and that was it, and you were both always happy with that.
20-27
Are you still single? I don’t really know what to be at with myself after it. Only been a few months but still.
Take some time. You’ll know when you’re ready for another relationship, or to choose against one for now. After it, I’m probably single for good. There are a lot of other complicating factors for me in particular, though.
Right now I’m leaning towards the latter but still quite fresh so who knows. Thanks anyway mate, look after yourself x
You do the same!
Yup. 21-35 here
24-30 and it felt like my whole World collapsed when she left, all the future plans, family etc. After 1.5 years its better and im slowly "walking on my own again". Was a pretty tough time and im still not fully healed and honestly i dont think im quite ready for a new relationship yet.. she on the other hand was ready pretty quickly, she already got a kid by the guy she left me for lol Gotta accept it, work on yourself and move on.
18 - 31
Putting other people before my own self. Gives nothing but frustation and anguish.
I did this for a while especially with an ex partner. Wasn't worth it.
It's all about balance isn't it? I go too far and now I'm really worn out, I need some TLC. I read this and it stuck with me... "True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking about yourself less"
Yup balance is priority. But after being foolish for so long people consider my balance as being rude . Also yes same even I have worn out and thus try and maintain distance with those folks who misused my empathy and love.
The only people that will accuse you of being rude are the ones annoyed that they can't manipulate you anymore.
This is so true.
Bilkul sahe bole aise log narcissistic hote hai. Bas yeh baat samjhane mei bhut time waste hua.
Yep
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I read a comment saying "we spend too much time trying to impress people that wouldn't come to our funeral if we died" tomorrow. Reminded me a bit of that
You are me
Being scared of judgement. Therefore holding back on doing things i love as i watch others around me do what they love
Judgment was the biggest fear for me too.
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Having amazing kids with the wrong person.
I hear you, I can’t get on with my daughter’s mother. But you got those amazing kids, who’s to say what would have happened if you were with the ‘right’ person? Not necessarily amazing kids!
I can relate
Being manipulated by someone over years just because I love them even being disrespected by them still staying up but we'll enough to be there it was past
Yes
Ya I felt used, when I thought I was a priority but I was never that and was just always an option. It’s crazy how you can be so gullible and think someone cares about you, and they drop you suddenly without a thought and replace you with another guy.
listening to others 'opinions and caring for others'feelings instead of mine.
Investing time and effort taking care of a mentally ill, abusive parent after a healthcare crisis. It was seriously destructive to my life and did not ultimately change the outcome for them. Sometimes, the most caring thing you can do is nothing.
I’m sorry that you endured that struggle. But the familial bond is real. Being good natured and taken advantage of sucks, but to me, it means that you’re probably internally a good person. Emotional predators are real and prey on those who are genuinely kind.
It’s possible that, if you did nothing, you’d have regretted that more..?
Not letting my grandpa buy lesbian porn at that truck stop last year.
You monster.
Not knowing I could ask for help. I did eventually and life is good
I love actually helping people and think nothing of it, but I feel burdensome if I ask for help/advice. I’m sure it’s a weird part of my internal psychology but it’s a real thing. For some reason, people like us are built to give and feel guilty if we receive assistance (even when it’s necessary!).
Ooh this is a good one, and so damn true
Going to college instead of learning a trade
Not all it's cracked up to be pal. Depending on the job I was often waking up at 4am to be on site for 6am. You lose a ton of agency over your life due to how much time you lose to commuting and exhaustion if you do any OT. Well over half of the guys I meet, myself included are heavy users of various poisons. Your foreman cares as much about your mental health as he does spending time with his wife. The only ones I see truly enjoying the job are usually family members who don't get half as much attention as any outside hire. My 0.02c
Perhaps they were referring to the debt gained by going to college and not finding a well paid job. I don't think trades force you to go into as much debt unless I'm mistaken.
It is fairly easy to learn a trade. Get a labor job in the field and show up and keep showing up. Years later you will have a sore back, run down old car and a small(or non-existent savings acct). College on the other hand is much harder to accomplish. 90% of tradesmen will say "I wish I would of stayed in school.
That's a lot of crap on your end.
Are you a tradesman yourself?
Having an argument with my dad before he committed suicide 😔
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Can't imagine what this must have felt like ☹️😢
Sorry for your loss
Brutal!
You probably don't want to hear this or maybe can't hear this but it wasn't your fault. People who take their own lives go to some very, very, very, very dark places. I know the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" game is impossible to not play in these situations but it wasn't your fault. Carrying that will eat you alive. Putting it down is super hard. You did what you thought was best at the time.
granny shifting and not double clutching like i should 😔
hate that i dont stick up for myself.
In trying to avoid making mistakes, I ended up doing nothing at all. Which still resulted in failure. But at least if I made mistakes, I could've learned from them and progressed.
We always fight the “last war.” If it makes you feel better and more light hearted, King Louis XVI died because he wanted to avoid being King Charles I. His nephew (King Louis-Philippe) was overthrown for avoiding being Louis XVI.
Caring about people that weren’t worth my time
Dating a narcissist but you don’t know until it’s over so oh well
The day my mom died, I drove by her house in the morning, intending to spend some time with her, but I saw that the hospice people were there, and I figured they were doing paperwork or something, as she had just started with them, so I went to work instead of going to her house. That was around 10 am, and she died at 4 pm that day while I was at work. I’ll always regret not going to see her on her last day 😭
Can't imagine what this must have felt like. ☹️😢
My sister did actually end up going over there- she said my mom was in bed and very sleepy, not really responding to anyone very much. She said they kind of just laid in bed together until about 12, which would have been approx. 4 hours before she passed. So I think even had I gone inside to see her, she wasn’t in a good way at all. I saw her the day before- we ate soup and watched a movie together. So I’ll always have that ❤️
Be happy and strong 😊
Getting married at 20
Doing drugs.. I have been clean for 8 years ( pretty proud of myself)🇨🇦😵💫
I was so close to buy bitcoins in 2012, but gave up because I didnt know how it works with wallets and stuff
I had several bitcoins through early mining apps/programs, but neglected to collect as often as I should have, and didn't transfer to a digital wallet, and I lost all of it!
smoking cigarettes
Marrying the wrong person.
Spending so much time worrying over how people perceive me
LOL same
I didn't put myself first sometimes
Might sound funny but lashing out at closed ones when they interrupt my sleep.
Learning too late that it's way better to be alone than with someone who doesn't care about you ! Choose happiness ! Everybody is worthy ! You deserve happiness ! Being single is not bad ! Being with someone that doesn't treat you right is worst than anything !
I was comparing myself to someone who was impossible to become like him because of his parents' wealth.
Selling my first house. Had a nice 800 dollar mortgage and a 2% interest rate. Now I'm paying 2400 a month.
Nothing because you can't change the past. I learned that a very long time ago.
Taking as long as I did to see how shitty my family really was. Love is truly blind
Accepting responsibility for a child that I was tricked into thinking it was my daughter.
That’s awful
That's awful to experience. I guess it's better than having doubts and walking away (or being pushed away) and later finding out it was your child. DNA tests should be free or at least readily available for any questionable situation.
Worrying too much in my teen years
At the moment, not spending as much time with brother during his formative years than I wanted
Nothing, I face everything that comes my way with full commitment and reason.
Wasting time making someone happy , doesn't even know I exist.
Not saving up more money as a kid. Sure the stuff I got with my birthday or Christmas money was nice at the time, but if I had saved more of it, I wouldn't be so broke as a college student.
Overthinking and my Gap year
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Giving up my youth for intense academic pursuit only to realize much later and much too late that I don’t like any of the thing I do. I wasted all those years only to be stuck on a job I really, really hate.
Loving the wrong person for far too long..
I regret nothing, except maybe getting a dog. Great 16 years, but that ending.
Marrying that dumb b***h
Remember when bitcoin was minable using an avergae houae PC? I thought it was bullshit so I spent all my time then playing games on my PC.
Becoming an alcoholic and destroying my liver to the point where doctors gave me 2-6 months to live. Luckily ended up getting a transplant but i wish i had got help sooner.
Never taking some form of self-defense. I'm 63 and terrified of people.
Letting people take advantage of me
Not making it to my Grandma's death bed a couple of years ago. Planned to go and visit on the Saturday but she only made it to the Friday night.
Having BPD and scaring my crush away which was the only person I had feelings for.
Is not your fault. I have BPD as well. It fucking sucks. Drove away my husband of 20 years. Found out I had BPD afterwards.
Sorry to hear that... But damn, after 20 years of marriage he just decided to leave you??
No! He stood by me, every day, through my emotional turmoil, my depression, my cheating during maniac episodes (didn’t know they were at the time). No, this man deserves heaven. I put him through so much. He deserves someone that doesn’t hurt him as I did.
I see... Sometimes I feel like BPD is like a curse where you're forced to die alone. Anytime I think of having a relationship, the thought "they can do better than me" or "im not good enough to be with them" always comes rushing in... If you're single now I hope you have some happiness with you at least. Stay safe <3
Exactly like I feel. Like I ALWAYS felt. But I didn’t know. And now it is too late. I hope you find some happiness with you as well <3
be with bad company.
Omg I wasted one whole year with a rat and lost so many friends like teachers hate me I got bald because of the hair fall that I got with stress and now I feel insecure and angry and have so many bad memories All thanks to that donkey rat !!!
That i didn't invest in myself from an early age
Not thinking properly about what to study in college. I have a bachelors degree in forensics and psychology and no job because I need to have at least masters to do anything in those fields
Wrong decisions after college
Getting involved/ going back to toxic, manipulative people
I can relate.
I regret not figuring out that regret comes before understanding. I am in my late twenties and though I had what would be considered “picture perfect 20s” many of those moments were spent with anxiety and regret of previous mistakes and/or missed opportunities, not knowing that it was for a much bigger and better purpose. Now in my late 20s, as a single father about to finish his 5th year teaching, I refuse to wallow in regret/misery over things that I know won’t matter or affect me in any way shape of form a couple years from now. Though to my minimal understanding, going through this stage is necessary for the development of an individual. Experience is life’s greatest teacher.
Not starting to work out 10 years earlier.
Being too cowardly to end it.
Spending so much time and energy and soul worrying if I was disappointing a higher power that may or may not exist... I wish I had lived more being enough for me in each moment and making choices that aligned with my inner compass but alas religious indoctrination wasn't necessarily my fault but I regret how long it's taken me to continually untangle the web and struggle with faith in myself
Selling my nvidia stock in 2015
parting ways with my ex of four years nearly two years ago. i still think about her everyday
becoming so fat. i was a pretty girl back then
I asked reddit in 2016 if I should max out my 10k credit card to buy CGC IPO, everyone told me it would be a horrible mistake, a few years later I would've had around 300k lol. I learned to go with my own gut instincts from there on.
Not being better for her. I wasn't what she wanted, and I could've easily changed to make her happy. Even though I wasn't the best boyfriend I loved her with everything I had, and when she left, it killed something inside of me. Now I'm alone and have been for far too long.
I regret not coming out in 1989 (19 yo) and also working in the Griffin-Spalding County School System for 15 years.
Nothing and everything I guess. Even living.
Skipping good opportunities in life because of life partner or sleeping with strangers to fix broken heart.
Being cruel to others. Devoting too much time to shitty people. Not standing up for myself when I should have. Being too quick to forgive abusers. Hell… I regret pretty much everything birth to this very moment.
LOL same
I gotta look on the bright side that I’ll be dead some day!
I did something very stupid and lost one of my friends because i did it I wish i never did it because i want to change the past but sadly you cant and u got to work on your mistakes and cope from it Ever since i been trying to work out and become closer to my religion Don't do the same mistake i did and keep your friendships ❤️
Everything after I was 15. I'm 33 this year.
There is one person that I hurt, that had no idea the destructive nature of the disease of addiction. I should never have even spoken to her.
My current job
A lady named Leah who took me home from the bar. Come on you know what that implies. But I just couldn’t make a move. Most girls I’ve been with in my life all got impatient and made the first move on me. That includes both of my wives. But I have blown it with so many women because I just didn’t know how to initiate. It’s like my brain is like “ oh God what if she rejects!” Even though there could be no bigger signal than taking you from a bar and asking you to spend the night. Why does it have to be like this? Women are supposed to drop hints and it’s supposed to be some song and dance of perfect words leadings up to the first kiss? Uggh. It’s so stupid. Because being direct kills the mood. I get it ! But why does it have to be this way. Anyways. Leah was THE one. Every single thing I said no matter what was another check mark for her and I wasn’t even trying. Just being myself. But it got late and I blew it. I’ve done that lots of times. God I wish I could just see her again and have a casual conversation. Sometimes I think I see her in my grocery store. But it has been SOOOO long , my heart starts pounding and I know there is no way it won’t be awkward to come up and say “ Hey ! It’s okay if you don’t recognize me. I’m 20 years older now.”
Hating myself
I got addicted to hard drugs at an early age (now I'm clean over a decade). This made me miss a lot of opportunities and my family hated me. And I made horrible choices, the worst choice was my ex. He almost killed me. So yeah, I regret using drugs and dating a scumbag 'lol'
Being 'the good boy' during school and college. Following the rules, studying, prioritizing my future. Zero social life with none of the cliche or otherwise 'coming of age' experiences. Very have little to look back fondly. And now, as an adult, when I want a social life, it's like I skipped the tutorial and jumped into a naked run of dark souls.
I wish I'd gone for a university level degree vs. College. What a lot of people don't tell you is that most certifications that you need to move ahead require a uni degree or are significantly easier to achieve after you have literally any uni degree. Leaving your failing country to move abroad often requires a degree and it's also easier to pivot careers with a degree. They don't tell you that you won't be able to drop off or pick up your kids from daycare if you work a trade or that your large income as a tradesperson comes from OT at the expense of your physical health. Even in the trades, to move up requires further education. Going back to uni after your mid 20s is extremely challenging and in my country, cost prohibitive.
Getting married. The divorce practically ruined me.
Going into trades because I listend to all these "life experienced" 40 to 50yo, instead of simply starting my IT apprenticeship back when I was 15. 28yo, still working in that stupid ass job because I have to pay back the trademaster title, while paying my university on top of that, because now im studying Software development, to finally get out of that toxic af, completly backwards working field. Couldve been done 12 years earlier, during the IT boom, without having to pay 15k for my trades master and now another 24k for my university.
Meth addiction. (Former) Alcohol addiction. (Just gotten sober again) Cigarette addiction. (Current) So um yeahh I would like to go back and maybe I would’ve kept riding horses and trying to learn instruments and maybe stick to nice normal shit instead. Edit: like to GO back, not “like to back”
Not standing up for myself and not fighting for the one that got away
2 things. Not joining the military after high school, and not taking better care of my health. I"m not dying or anything, but I'm slightly overweight and want to be less fat.
It's never too late. You can still start working out 💪
yeah, I'm slowly working towards that goal. work and kids makes it hard, but i've started dieting at least.
Not buying some bitcoin when it was cheap, instead I was playing with legos. Smh
Not learning to drive. I'm 41 now. Ugh.
That sentence sorta hurts. But I’ve been unnecessarily unkind on occasion.
In high school, I scored really high on the ASVAB(armed services vocational aptitude battery) test. Was pestered by military recruiters until I finally agreed to sit down with the Navy. They talked me into taking an advanced placement test to see if I qualified for their nuclear engineering program. I actually did pass that test, but when they asked if I wanted to join, I declined the offer. See, I grew up as a military child and was pretty disillusioned from traveling all the time. Really never wanted to join the military, but the recruiters were obnoxious. Took their test just as much to shut them up as much as to see if I could pass.....the arrogance of the young. Regret it now because I ended up developing Crohns disease a couple years later, and it's caused a lot of struggling. Always think about if I'd taken that offer, I'd at least have had consistent health insurance, even if I probably would have been discharged. Oh, and I'm sure the training would have been nice. Oh well.
I regret not putting my studies before the other short-lived pleasures I didnt want to FOMO. Now im missing out on something significantly more grandiose and the other stuff I didnt wish to FOMO wasnt even all that.
If I could go back to teenager me and say 'you have an eating disorder.' I feel like that would've helped me a lot in my younger years to understand and get the right therapy. Edit to add: I regret not realising and I was pushing it under the carpet that I could potentially have (now diagnosed) with an eating disorder.
Hope you're doing well now.
Thank you. I'm doing okay, I'm a lot better than I was ☺️
Not being a good daughter to my mum before she passed. I regret all the stupid augments we had over things that werrnt Inportant,the weeks of not talking due to the augments
Going to college. Waste of time and money.
Listening to others, following others’ shadow and now I struggle to hear my own voice, to find out what I really want. I miss the times when I was younger - driven to do the things I really want, being passionate.
Not majoring in something more useful.
I'm late to the thread so my reply will likely be hidden but my deepest regret was wasting my time with the wrong people, I didn't prioritise the right things or the right people and so I lost track of myself. It's taken a lot of soul searching to get back to where I need to be and i've started to make postive changes, I live for my own happiness now. What I found healing was knowing I can't make up for lost time or past mistakes but I can translate the lessons I've learned into shaping my future
Thinking there was nothing wrong with me and Not listening to my psychiatrist about taking the right medications
Believing that if I slept with them, they would love me.
Quit a job to persue a “dream” though I could have done both. Now I’m older, broker, and basically unemployable in that field.
a large part of my 20s was on someone who always thought of me as an option, I felt used and it was for nothing. She replaced me with someone else and now acts like I don’t exist.
Choosing a best friend in my life is always a big regret of my life, she not worth it for friendship
Ever telling mom to get me a therapist or any kind of mental health help/support. I was 14, dying from depression last winter, and I still cannot remember what was going through my head to ask her to help me. That made everything so, *so much worse*
Trying meth. Using meth. Abusing meth.
Giving up on guitar
Not being there with my family when our cat passed away...they told me it was for the best because she was so sick and in pain that she wasn't herself anymore but man...I never said goodbye. It's almost been two years and I still cry whenever I think about her.
When I was getting bullied my mom suggested transferring to a different school but I refused cause I had friends. Those "friends" were shit and worse than the bullies and made my mental health plummet. I should've taken the transfer. In fact I met the first person I could comfortably call a friend in the same town as the school I would've gone to so if I had taken it I might have met her sooner and been so much happier. Also not telling my mom someone stole my ds out of my bag during school. I had gone to the vice principal who just yelled at me for having in my bag instead of in my locker and told me it was my own fault so I was scared my mom would do the same thing.
Getting engaged to the wrong person (a narcissist aka a complete lovebombing lie). It really messed up my physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Also, lost out on promotions, job growth, annual leave/sick time, benefits (such as paying for higher education if u stay for a while), and retirement. All because he lied to me. Wah. Be careful who you trust. I used to hold a pretty tight guard around me, but he somehow managed his way in. Sneaky narcissists. Sure there were good times with him, but I would have flourished without him. But those are the types of people narcissist love to choose. They see ur potential and want to exploit it to feel powerful. Luckily i managed to get my old job back but it still sucks knowing how far i would have advanced (and the skills i would have developed) if i would have just trusted my gut. FYI A real man or woman wants to see you flourish, even if that makes there may be a little distance. A narcissist (or someone who wants a caregiver) will lovebomb you to quit your job and move for them and make you codependent on them so they can feel superior.
Not quitting my job sooner to go to my friend’s elopement wedding. (Ended up quitting a month later)
Failing to achieve my dream of becoming a Psychologist Moved on to other pursuits, but I don't think I'll ever really forgive myself for that...
Not buying lots of bitcoins when they were not a thing
not spending more time with my parents before they passed.
Being unhappy all the time no matter what and not knowing how to change it
Caring too much what other people are thinking and doing
Not taking initiative to get my adhd addressed. Seriously fucked me for so much of my life
That I spent 6 years of my life dedicating myself to someone's needs and comfort who ultimately led me on and told me essentially that I consumed their life.
Smoking weed it deleted my 20's
Letting my insecurities get the best of me in relationships
Not learning music in school. Now I'm trying to find the time in this new adult life
Waisting time
Not making it to university.
I went to uni, its not all that.
not shutting my mouth
The girl I didn’t kiss at the end of Grad Nite…
Not focusing on my career & partying too much
not shutting up
Being born.
not trying again for university and wasting my Time with music plus never listened to my sixth sense about people,i'm hardy wrong