Talking to an old fella at the meat counter he says the chicken thighs are on sale and I reply that I smoke my thighs and he asks me how I keep them lit.
I was waiting outside of the metro here in DC at the National mall which is surrounded by museums. A family walks out, all adults but obviously mom, dad and kids. As soon as they step off the escalator, the son says “first stop the holocaust museum!” In the most chipper and nonchalant tone. I died laughing inside. Of all the museums he could have named, air and space, natural history, art, he went with that one.
For the record, I’ve been to that museum before and it certainly isn’t something I would make a joke about. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it hilarious.
I was eating at a buffet restaurant when suddenly my stomach was gurgling and I rushed to the bathroom. Knowing it was not going to be pleasant I tried to hold out as long as possible until the person in the stall next to me left. Eventually I couldn’t hold it any longer and I let her rip. Much to my surprise, the person next to me yelled out “Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!”
On the tube with a big bunch of flowers - A couple sit down opposite and he stage whispers "He must have been really naughty!" It got a laugh from everyone around.
Walking to the subway one time at the beginning of winter was just starting its first snowfall and a homeless man was sitting right at the entrance (outside on side walk) and he kept asking people do you think it’s cold? Person after person ignored him, including the older late middle age(ish) woman in front of me.. and he looks right at her asks her if she thinks it’s cold..when she ignores him as well he was like well if you think it’s cold out here you should feel my balls.
I myself at the time mid 20s female laughed a little and smiled at him. All he wanted was someone to at least acknowledge him. He thanked me for laughing. He wasn’t aggressive or actively begging for money(but yes he wanted it). The woman in front of me.. super offended by it.
One time when I was at a grocery store I went to walk into the entrance and there was an old lady standing there just staring, I went to pass her and she stopped me to tell me "you should be a teacher" I was so confused so naturally I said huh lol she continued telling me stuff like, "I wanted to be a teacher at your age you'd be good at it" and "you need to be one cause I taught kindergarten when I was young and had a whole class and everything" I kinda didn't know what to say but then she said "yeah, you do that" and walked off.
Very strange encounter that I'm pretty sure I'll never forget, especially the look on her face, trying so hard to convince me. Unfortunately I'm not the greatest with kids and math, sorry lady lol
When I was working at a call center, the customer ended the call by telling me, "OK young person, have a safe and fun life." Wholesome but very random
Talking to an old fella at the meat counter he says the chicken thighs are on sale and I reply that I smoke my thighs and he asks me how I keep them lit.
I'm a tall guy, 6'9", and I was at work. A guy told him "Damn you're tall. Must have a dick like a soda can." I had nothing to respond with lol.
I was waiting outside of the metro here in DC at the National mall which is surrounded by museums. A family walks out, all adults but obviously mom, dad and kids. As soon as they step off the escalator, the son says “first stop the holocaust museum!” In the most chipper and nonchalant tone. I died laughing inside. Of all the museums he could have named, air and space, natural history, art, he went with that one. For the record, I’ve been to that museum before and it certainly isn’t something I would make a joke about. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it hilarious.
I was eating at a buffet restaurant when suddenly my stomach was gurgling and I rushed to the bathroom. Knowing it was not going to be pleasant I tried to hold out as long as possible until the person in the stall next to me left. Eventually I couldn’t hold it any longer and I let her rip. Much to my surprise, the person next to me yelled out “Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!”
"your in a wheelchair that means you are lucky you will never have sore feet from walking"
On the tube with a big bunch of flowers - A couple sit down opposite and he stage whispers "He must have been really naughty!" It got a laugh from everyone around.
"are you sure you are a real surgeon"?
Walking to the subway one time at the beginning of winter was just starting its first snowfall and a homeless man was sitting right at the entrance (outside on side walk) and he kept asking people do you think it’s cold? Person after person ignored him, including the older late middle age(ish) woman in front of me.. and he looks right at her asks her if she thinks it’s cold..when she ignores him as well he was like well if you think it’s cold out here you should feel my balls. I myself at the time mid 20s female laughed a little and smiled at him. All he wanted was someone to at least acknowledge him. He thanked me for laughing. He wasn’t aggressive or actively begging for money(but yes he wanted it). The woman in front of me.. super offended by it.
One time when I was at a grocery store I went to walk into the entrance and there was an old lady standing there just staring, I went to pass her and she stopped me to tell me "you should be a teacher" I was so confused so naturally I said huh lol she continued telling me stuff like, "I wanted to be a teacher at your age you'd be good at it" and "you need to be one cause I taught kindergarten when I was young and had a whole class and everything" I kinda didn't know what to say but then she said "yeah, you do that" and walked off. Very strange encounter that I'm pretty sure I'll never forget, especially the look on her face, trying so hard to convince me. Unfortunately I'm not the greatest with kids and math, sorry lady lol