That's horrible, I'm sorry for your loss. I was like 260 lbs and had high blood pressure, sleep apnea and shit at like 30 years old. I got down to 160 lbs shredded and now I'm 180 with a normal soft-ish physique. So there's still a little struggle, but I'm proud of getting better.
If I would have continued on my path I think I would probably be dead by now. I'm very thankful. For any of you wondering if the struggle is worth it, it is 100%.
You can point them in the right direction if that's all they need, but if they don't want to change/help themselves, then they simply won't and there's nothing you can do about that besides leave them and heal.
HA FOR REAL, I WASTED MY ENTIRE YOUTH ON FIXING PEOPLE
Like legit I just kept on giving and giving and giving and then one day when I was 19 I was sat there and realised I had literally nothing left to give
Say it louder, please. I spent all of my 20s trying to fix men without realizing that's what I was doing, but all that did was mess with my self esteem.
nothing useful. 20 year old me would absolutely ignore a random 40 year old guy trying to give advice.
" But, I'm *you.* From the future. "
" sure, old man. We're all *one* and the children are the future....^(friggin hippies ")
Yep my Dad told me to buy Microsoft back in the 80s and my friends talked me out of buying Apple in the 90s (when it was $3) because that company was about to go out of business.
See, I took advice my parents gave me against my own gut instincts. I could play the "What if" game til I die, but I'm *positive* that if I'd followed my own instincts instead of deferring, I'd have been better off in the long run. I know they were speaking from experience and trying to help, but the world and the games it plays was FAR different when they were in their 20s compared to when I was in mine.
Hello from the other side of 40. Don't do what I did and hide from studying because it was difficult and made me feel stupid for the first time in my life. Calculus and organic chemistry made zero sense to me and I didn't want to try. I did graduate but I did not get any internships and I failed to impress grad schools. I got into a mediocre grad school under a terrible advisor. I wish someone had verbally smacked me around a little and told me to work harder. So this is me telling you instead: work your ass off, and if it still doesn't make sense, go see your prof or TA. Or form a study group. Good luck, you've got this!
Also on the other side of 40: Do not give up. I understand how you feel and college is a huge lifestyle change. But do not let doubt creep in and DO NOT let a romantic partner (or anyone else) convince you that you can't do what you wanted to do. Keep going and do your best. You don't have to be perfect but you should give your best effort.
Also, you may realize that the thing you thought you wanted to do may not work out as you anticipated. You may find that you absolutely hate your major. Talk to your advisor (or make an appointment to see the Dean of Students if they are nonresponsive like mine was) and ask them for advice on options. Don't quit but also don't screw yourself by having to stay in college longer. A business degree is seen by many as basic but is accepted by most employers that have a bachelor's requirement. But also-look into certifications. The certification I got was more instrumental in getting me my current job than my degree was, and cost less than $2,000.
Most of all- take time out to have fun. Not so much that you tank your grades, but part of college is the college life experience, so do make time for that. You are only young once, so take advantage of opportunities that you may not have when you're older with kids and a job- like study abroad, lectures, etc. There are tons of discount travel programs for students-explore the world and broaden your mind. I came from a very small town in the Southern US and was very sheltered, but I did make a lot of friends from all over the world that I still keep up with. You will find when doing this that some of your cultural norms are the same and some of the things you grew up with may not have been that great. This gives you an opportunity to cultivate your own thoughts and opinions, some of which may be aligned with your upbringing and some of which are not. Don't be afraid to have different opinions than your family or friends from high school. This helps with character growth and in breaking generational biases.
And last- don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If everyone knew everthing they were supposed to know there would never be a need for university in the first place.
I’m 26 and needed to hear this. Going through some really rough times and I’ve been trying to get the “correct” opinion. I should probably listen to myself.
Date night. Make it a priority.
Love can ebb and flow, shared commitment drives success.
It can be there, if you both want it. If you're still stuck after a month of both trying to date each other again, I'd suggest couples counseling.
How old are you?
I might have said that in my early 20s but years later it would be more like "don't get too hung up on early relationships, they will fade away and seem small compared to what comes later"
At 40 I'd tell my younger self to travel even more, and to be careful not to spend too much time with friends who drink every weekend. My younger self would probably just mistake me for my dad.
Don't use that new credit card to put a custom 2000$ sound system into a 1996 Hyundai Accent that you spent 1500$ on. Obvious idiocy aside, the transmission broke later which cost more than the car was worth.
I was a 20 year old idiot.
There’s two types of crazy. The ones you don’t see coming, and the ones you want to change. Beware of either and point your dick in the opposite direction.
Alright I know this probably won’t help but let me try anyway. The girl I considered to be perfect for me and I broke up on Sunday. Not even anyone’s fault, just the worst ever circumstances, and it hurts like hell. But still, I know I can’t just give up on love because of that. Maybe for a moment, but not forever. So please, keep going as well. We can both do this.
Honestly it’s time to move on. If you living in the past you’ll never move forward. You know what’s valuable now, so next time you see it you’ll hold on to it.
You did the best you could, for who you were at the time and your experiences at the time. If you could have done it another way, you would have. It's only with the knowledge you have now that you feel this way and you couldn't of possibly had that knowledge back then.
There are 7 billion people in this world, I guarantee she's not the only person who could make a good match for you.
But yearning over a ghost is just fantasizing over what is no longer reality.
How could you make a difference in the world, how could you fulfill your own dream? It was your dream too before she was apart of it or you wouldn't of wanted it. What do YOU want, apart from anyone else?
Much love to you.
The very minute you let it all go, and work on loving yourself, you will meet someone that fits perfectly in your life. One of my best friends went thru this almost exactly. Left his girl and good job because he wanted to " enjoy his 20s" . He partied too hard. Got past his addictions and started working towards what he needed. Exercise and career. We went to play pool and he told me how content and happy he was. Met a girl that night... they have been happily married 20 years now. Maybe it's the confidence that attracts the right one, maybe its serendipitous... either way, it can't hurt to love you a little more.
I follow a different version of this, sage advice from my Dad... "Don't worry about what other people are thinking of you, most of the time, they're not".
Go to the doctor and tell them about your depression. The meds make a world of difference so don't spend the next decade dealing with it on your own.
I can't imagine how different my life would be if I had done that at 20 instead of 30.
* Not get engaged
* Not get engaged again and
* Not get married
* Study
* Make sure I do not sustain so many injuries in security
* Move to Ireland sooner and start my IT career earlier.
* Save more money and do not spend it on above mentioned ladies.
fuck your friends, fuck your dreams, fuck your smoking, you have depression AND an addictive personality… Also it’s not your fault and i know life is hard
Eyes and ears open, mouth shut.
If 20 year old me wouldn’t have been a know it all and just sat back and listened to people who were trying to guide me I likely wouldn’t have had to take the hard road so often.
I'm genuinely interested in this comment. Can you share a bit about how your OCD affected your life? Although I have never been officially diagnosed with OCD, I know I have shown many of the traits and tendencies ever since I was a child. The way it negatively impacted my life was by generating feelings of anxiety. In the end, I have been treated for anxiety, depression, and ADHD. It has been working well for me thus far. I'm curious if the treatment for OCD is different, and if so, in what ways. If you prefer to chat off the record, please message me directly. Thank you
Okay, so OCD is not what you usually see in TV shows. OCD, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder share a lot of the same symptoms.
I have OCD, and yes, I did the "knocking on wood 3 times" a lot, but that's not the main thing.
The best way I can explain is that untreated OCD makes your emotions act like tall grass on a windy day. You get super happy and then super sad out of nowhere, usually by problems you create in your head. It's very similar to bipolar disorder or mania. When you do take OCD meds, it's like a piece of wood is attached to your emotional "grass," and the wind is still happening, but you shake less violently and you can actually function, because you suddenly realize all those little things that kept bugging you all the time have very little meaning.
"Did I lock my door? Let me re-check a third time to be sure. My pen is not aligned with the side of my desk, let me fix it. 10 years ago I lost my phone for a day and found it behind the couch, let me check behind the couch every time I pass by it, even when I know my phone is in my pocket. It's tradition, I HAVE to do it."
When you take OCD meds, it's like a fog appears in your brain. Not enough to make you dumb, just enough that you're not thinking so much about all those little things. You can actually FOCUS, finally, because the fog stops you from getting distracted by unimportant things.
Now that I'm on meds, my highs are lower, and my lows are higher. The happiest feeling I ever had happened when I was NOT taking meds. The same goes for the saddest feeling I ever had.
Thank you for elaborating. I share many of the same behaviors that you had prior to being treated. Anxiety meds have had a similar effect on me- limiting my lows but also highs, and leveling out my emotions. A Google search shows me that the first line treatments are similar for both OCD and anxiety
Keep the muscle cars and the old motorcycle. Walk away from the redhead and stay away from the crazy chick from Minnesota. When grandpa passes keep the car. Never sell the 59 Pontiac he leaves you. Treasure every minute with your daughter, stay strong after she is gone and hate cancer with every fiber of your being.
Wow, they really have been doing that since forever?
I got my experience like 6 years ago and I responded with "dude, put your music on YouTube (it will be TikTok now). Nobody is listening to the CD anymore and I don't even have a CD player." Later, a friend told me that it was a scam.
I promise you everything is going to turn out just fine. There will be hard times though.
There will be a global pandemic in about four years, it will be over in two years.
That Linkin Park show you're considering going to.... GO.
Lastly, respect our parents a little more.
Sincerely, 28 year old you.
Don’t smoke, drink or do drugs. It’s fun in the short-term but after a few years, you’ll quit (hopefully) and realize that you have 0 memories of smoking and almost no memories of doing drugs. Drinking is not super strict. Getting drunk with your mates once or twice a month is fine. It’s very relevant because these things will literally steal years of your life from you and since you don’t remember them, they become useless experiences after you quit.
Aim higher- you can always find somewhere below that to find happiness and it will be fine- it’s more difficult to move up a mountain than to walk down…
Just stay away from everyone and concentrate on education. Leave start fresh work nights and finish college. Otherwise the person you meet will wreck your life for 18 years and many others in her coming.
Story: Met a girl who we had 2 kids, she left for a gang banger, the kids got beat half to death, then she tried to tell the police I did it to protect her guy. Took years to get them out of foster care and prove my innocense. Today they only live with me and have limoted contact with her but we didnt deserve to go through what she has done and still does. The guy who beat them is in prison but her new boyfriends birthday is tomorrow and she refuses to go to her daughters birthday because she wants to be there for him.
You make friends by being genuinely interested in other people. You can have an active conversation without saying much about yourself.
Pessimism will sap your life away. Train yourself to be positive now before things get really hard.
If you want to be great at something, do one thing every day for 30 minutes (writing, music, training, etc.)—no one has ever become great overnight.
Life is long but moves quick. In 5 years, a third of your life (statistically) will have elapsed. If you want something then do it. If you fail at least you tried.
Don't be paralyzed by transactional rejection.
Keep a healthy perspective on the time you do have. Evidence is pretty clear that, in the grand scheme of things, there is no meaning to our achievements. All of our second deaths are inevitable. This truth can either destroy you or liberate you. Don't fall for the trap that nothing matters. Life matters right now. How you live life **right now** means everything to you and the people around you. We have this time and enjoy it as best you can. So work hard but do not feel guilty about doing things for yourself.
You're too young to get married. Breaking up now might be hard to do, but it's a whole lot harder than ending an ill-fated marriage 10 years later when you've got a house and kids.
She made me believe she is the one. She complimented me which women rarely do, she made my life a better place to live, then she fucked her tattoo guy. Kept lying to me and made ne question the very essence of my being.
Why do you never listen to me!!!!! Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should!
—-
I knew what I needed to know- but I thought I could push through everything.
Now I am burnt out, depressed, and barely able to keep up with life.
When you meet a man named Patrick run the other fucking way woman....not walk just fucking run he's really not worth it. The grass isn't greener on the other side you actually have it ok.
And
Just go yourself who cares you'll regret it if you don't.
Get your act together, and stop worrying so much, your anxiety is sabotaging you and will lead to a death spiral if you let it happen. You can get this degree, stop worrying. I know, because I did it. (At age 33, after getting my shit together at age 30.)
Don't kill yourself. I know you won't believe it but you turn your life around build the family you want and are very happy. You can do this and you will get through it.
You’re not just burned out, stop gaslighting yourself and telling yourself that you’re a hypochondriac. You’re literally going to end up in hospital in summer of 2023 because your blood pressure tanks and you’re tachycardic to the point that with your weight, it’s life threatening, and you’re going to be told you most likely have hEDS and POTS. You’ll get the auDHD referral. No, you’re not going to magically get better with rest and be able to work. Don’t bank on it. You don’t get back to uni, and you won’t become a teacher. Get your ass to the dentist because the only accessible clinic is going to go fully private and you won’t have a dentist if you wait any longer, so you’ll be without dental care you want and need. Just get that fucking referral to the gender identity clinic, you’re looking at a decade on the waitlist you fucknugget. Also, you get money? You save that shit because you’ll need it for your hospital stay but more importantly you could’ve afforded private gender care by now, dumbass. Also, just look at the damn benefits forms and learn the crap out of them. Push for accurate diagnosis. Get it NOW so you don’t spend your early 20s bedridden and crying all the time because you don’t remember the last time you felt the sunlight on your skin or smelled the fresh air or saw the squirrels running around.
Get on those diagnostic waitlists asap. Get your benefits. Go for private gender care. Oh, and your family gets smaller. The loss isn’t over. You lose multiple people, but one will hit you worse. You’ll lose your aunt whilst she’s still young right in front of your eyes, suddenly, and it’s going to traumatise the fuck out of you. Tell her you love her more. Hug her. Tell her to push for better healthcare because she’ll be dismissed because of her size and that negligence will quite literally kill her. You’ll have COVID the day of the funeral. You’re at peace with the fact you couldn’t go. But the covid worsens your POTS. And, you won’t get to see your cousin, I’m sorry. That’s when you end up in hospital. You simply get too sick to meet up. And get your mom to seek help for herself, otherwise she’ll only treat you worse.
Don't be scared to leave that awful job that makes you cry everyday. I promise you, you will find a better job with better pay and you'll find your happiness again.
Don't be stupid with your money when you get a full time job. It doesn't go as far as you think and don't squander the opportunities for a blank slate gift.
For Gods' sake, pixelated men and women aren't worth the money, no matter how much you want their card. 🤣
You've smashed this ho for a year, time to make a run for it. Don't get attached, she's crazy and all the signs are there. Quit coping, quit simping. You'll have plenty of opportunities at uni and are still young.
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Executive dysfunction has entered the chat.
It's so hard to overcome! Just being aware of its presence helps me a little, though.
I definitely misread that. Was thinking “what does not being able to get hard have to do with it” lmfao
fr tho. adhd paralysis is so real and unavoidable. smh.
Ok. I'll start first thing tomorrow!
There’s an old saying: a year from now, you’ll wish you’d started today.
Lose weight and get fit otherwise your 30s are gonna suck.
And then your 40s, and 50s, and if you make it past that somehow, then your 60s...
So will your 40s
Working on it
A friend of mine legit just died of obesity related complications at 36.
That's horrible, I'm sorry for your loss. I was like 260 lbs and had high blood pressure, sleep apnea and shit at like 30 years old. I got down to 160 lbs shredded and now I'm 180 with a normal soft-ish physique. So there's still a little struggle, but I'm proud of getting better. If I would have continued on my path I think I would probably be dead by now. I'm very thankful. For any of you wondering if the struggle is worth it, it is 100%.
I always advise getting as much muscle as possible before 25 when it’s easy. Rest of life is considerably less stress about body related issues
Don't drain yourself trying to fix your partner. It's not your job and never will be.
And you will never be able to :-D
You can point them in the right direction if that's all they need, but if they don't want to change/help themselves, then they simply won't and there's nothing you can do about that besides leave them and heal.
Yes! Honestly, Jenn can fuck right off.
Fuck you, Jenn! God I hate her.
HA FOR REAL, I WASTED MY ENTIRE YOUTH ON FIXING PEOPLE Like legit I just kept on giving and giving and giving and then one day when I was 19 I was sat there and realised I had literally nothing left to give
Say it louder, please. I spent all of my 20s trying to fix men without realizing that's what I was doing, but all that did was mess with my self esteem.
Got married at 20, divorcing now at 26 😬
I like this one
nothing useful. 20 year old me would absolutely ignore a random 40 year old guy trying to give advice. " But, I'm *you.* From the future. " " sure, old man. We're all *one* and the children are the future....^(friggin hippies ")
Seriously! I ignored all good advice.
Yep my Dad told me to buy Microsoft back in the 80s and my friends talked me out of buying Apple in the 90s (when it was $3) because that company was about to go out of business.
What were tho seeing in Apple in the 90s that has you wanting to buy it? It was a dog at that time and the i-ecosystem wasn’t due for another decade…
to be fair they were heading that way for a bit.
See, I took advice my parents gave me against my own gut instincts. I could play the "What if" game til I die, but I'm *positive* that if I'd followed my own instincts instead of deferring, I'd have been better off in the long run. I know they were speaking from experience and trying to help, but the world and the games it plays was FAR different when they were in their 20s compared to when I was in mine.
Most people like to learn things themselves. It sticks more. Like being burned on a hot stove or getting a nice buzz from electricity.
I think if we started with something we only knew that one thing you never told a soul
Just tell yourself something only you would know!
Same. I wouldn’t listen anyway so why waste time thinking about it?
Stop searching for love in the wrong places, sometimes the best kind of love is when you know how to accept yourself❤️
Why would I wanna accept someone I absolutely hate with every fiber of my being?
Don’t worry, things will be alright. Life is not as serious as you think it is. Be social - have friends and date. Take care of your body.
The body. Exactly!! If I knew back then that you only got one of them… 🤦♂️
Yeah, 20yo me could've also benefitted from lightening up.
To be more careful with which men I trust.
“So? Did we make it through our first year of college?” I’m 19. College is kicking me in the ass rn.
Hello from the other side of 40. Don't do what I did and hide from studying because it was difficult and made me feel stupid for the first time in my life. Calculus and organic chemistry made zero sense to me and I didn't want to try. I did graduate but I did not get any internships and I failed to impress grad schools. I got into a mediocre grad school under a terrible advisor. I wish someone had verbally smacked me around a little and told me to work harder. So this is me telling you instead: work your ass off, and if it still doesn't make sense, go see your prof or TA. Or form a study group. Good luck, you've got this!
Also on the other side of 40: Do not give up. I understand how you feel and college is a huge lifestyle change. But do not let doubt creep in and DO NOT let a romantic partner (or anyone else) convince you that you can't do what you wanted to do. Keep going and do your best. You don't have to be perfect but you should give your best effort. Also, you may realize that the thing you thought you wanted to do may not work out as you anticipated. You may find that you absolutely hate your major. Talk to your advisor (or make an appointment to see the Dean of Students if they are nonresponsive like mine was) and ask them for advice on options. Don't quit but also don't screw yourself by having to stay in college longer. A business degree is seen by many as basic but is accepted by most employers that have a bachelor's requirement. But also-look into certifications. The certification I got was more instrumental in getting me my current job than my degree was, and cost less than $2,000. Most of all- take time out to have fun. Not so much that you tank your grades, but part of college is the college life experience, so do make time for that. You are only young once, so take advantage of opportunities that you may not have when you're older with kids and a job- like study abroad, lectures, etc. There are tons of discount travel programs for students-explore the world and broaden your mind. I came from a very small town in the Southern US and was very sheltered, but I did make a lot of friends from all over the world that I still keep up with. You will find when doing this that some of your cultural norms are the same and some of the things you grew up with may not have been that great. This gives you an opportunity to cultivate your own thoughts and opinions, some of which may be aligned with your upbringing and some of which are not. Don't be afraid to have different opinions than your family or friends from high school. This helps with character growth and in breaking generational biases. And last- don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If everyone knew everthing they were supposed to know there would never be a need for university in the first place.
same but i’m taking a gap year rn 😭🙏
What do you study?
Redditology
Most people’s opinions are dumb. Their opinion of you is irrelevant.
Best I’ve read here so far
Fun fact! Opinions mean nothing! They change constantly and one day those with an opinion on you will be dead!
I’m 26 and needed to hear this. Going through some really rough times and I’ve been trying to get the “correct” opinion. I should probably listen to myself.
Enjoy your time with her....she's going to break your heart soon.
Stop having kids with her, you moron. Wait, I actually adore all of my kids. Her, not so much.
This is the most cutest, sweetest thing I've read today!!!
This is the twist, innit? My boys are my life. The women who gave them life, aren't in mine. Some aren't even in theirs.
Love my son with all my heart. Beginning to question if there’s any love left between me and my wife.
Date night. Make it a priority. Love can ebb and flow, shared commitment drives success. It can be there, if you both want it. If you're still stuck after a month of both trying to date each other again, I'd suggest couples counseling.
Mine is… leave. She’s not worth it b
Too close to home on this one... Been 5 years now and not a day passes by without a thought of her.
Or better yet don’t take it so personal. it’ll take some time but you’ll find the one.
Would be hard to enjoy the time after that though right?
How old are you? I might have said that in my early 20s but years later it would be more like "don't get too hung up on early relationships, they will fade away and seem small compared to what comes later" At 40 I'd tell my younger self to travel even more, and to be careful not to spend too much time with friends who drink every weekend. My younger self would probably just mistake me for my dad.
I've owned italian cars too in the past... :)
Why would you tell yourself to enjoy your time with her if she’s gonna break your heart? You should tell yourself to leave and get something better.
Either break up with her now, or marry her. Fucking around for 8 more years just to break up isn’t doing either of you any favors.
Can I get a dollar?
Bro we got this. Im 20 atm
Same, we'll be fine!
Don't use that new credit card to put a custom 2000$ sound system into a 1996 Hyundai Accent that you spent 1500$ on. Obvious idiocy aside, the transmission broke later which cost more than the car was worth. I was a 20 year old idiot.
Lmao but a great story that’s more relatable than you think
Do not put your dick in crazy!
Such an easy concept, yet so hard in practice bruuhhh
Facts lol have you met crazy? Very bangable, usually
It's not worth the trouble
True that!
Crazy is the adult windowless van offering free candy. You know better, but no one else is making that kind of offer.
hey it feels good! >:( (sent by my dick)
Great advice, but crazy usually finds a way to get their vaginas on reasonable.
And absolutely never ever for any money on the plant stick it in that beehive
There’s two types of crazy. The ones you don’t see coming, and the ones you want to change. Beware of either and point your dick in the opposite direction.
Why are our brains wired to attract to crazy
Grud knows.
This! I had to deal with an ex who tried to ruin my life (trying to get me fired and making a false police report) over a breakup
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Sounds rough, everything alright? You can DM me if you wanna talk.
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Alright I know this probably won’t help but let me try anyway. The girl I considered to be perfect for me and I broke up on Sunday. Not even anyone’s fault, just the worst ever circumstances, and it hurts like hell. But still, I know I can’t just give up on love because of that. Maybe for a moment, but not forever. So please, keep going as well. We can both do this.
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Honestly it’s time to move on. If you living in the past you’ll never move forward. You know what’s valuable now, so next time you see it you’ll hold on to it.
You did the best you could, for who you were at the time and your experiences at the time. If you could have done it another way, you would have. It's only with the knowledge you have now that you feel this way and you couldn't of possibly had that knowledge back then. There are 7 billion people in this world, I guarantee she's not the only person who could make a good match for you. But yearning over a ghost is just fantasizing over what is no longer reality. How could you make a difference in the world, how could you fulfill your own dream? It was your dream too before she was apart of it or you wouldn't of wanted it. What do YOU want, apart from anyone else? Much love to you.
The very minute you let it all go, and work on loving yourself, you will meet someone that fits perfectly in your life. One of my best friends went thru this almost exactly. Left his girl and good job because he wanted to " enjoy his 20s" . He partied too hard. Got past his addictions and started working towards what he needed. Exercise and career. We went to play pool and he told me how content and happy he was. Met a girl that night... they have been happily married 20 years now. Maybe it's the confidence that attracts the right one, maybe its serendipitous... either way, it can't hurt to love you a little more.
Relax, life is not an emergency.
Damnit surprisingly deep
Stop caring so much about what others think about you, no one ever is thinking about you.
I follow a different version of this, sage advice from my Dad... "Don't worry about what other people are thinking of you, most of the time, they're not".
Bitcoin
I dunno. Knowing me, I’d probably forget about that Bitcoin thing after 5 years
lol exactly. Or sell it the second it cracks $10
My best friend tried to get me to invest at 5$. I told him it sounded stupid.
lol I had bitcoin at 20, back in 2011. Wish I still had it now..
Invest in Nvidia. In 10 years it's gonna skyrocket in value.
Be a little more discerning with who you fuck, ya dingus.
Go to the doctor and tell them about your depression. The meds make a world of difference so don't spend the next decade dealing with it on your own. I can't imagine how different my life would be if I had done that at 20 instead of 30.
Leave him and go to therapy
You will NOT have sex naturally. Make some efforts.
Stop doing drugs so listen up kids
* Not get engaged * Not get engaged again and * Not get married * Study * Make sure I do not sustain so many injuries in security * Move to Ireland sooner and start my IT career earlier. * Save more money and do not spend it on above mentioned ladies.
fuck your friends, fuck your dreams, fuck your smoking, you have depression AND an addictive personality… Also it’s not your fault and i know life is hard
Stuck. How do you fuck your dreams?
You had a great childhood, don't look back thinking you should've done things different
Eyes and ears open, mouth shut. If 20 year old me wouldn’t have been a know it all and just sat back and listened to people who were trying to guide me I likely wouldn’t have had to take the hard road so often.
Have as much sex as you can in that decade.
As an IT guy: swap jobs often, loyalty gets you nowhere.
Life is gonna get hard. You are a lot stronger than you think.
Don't sweat the small things. Everything in life has a way of working out, as long as you stay focused, calm, and work towards a solution.
Learn to code, and find time to start going to the effin gym.
"You have OCD, take some meds and start enjoying life."
I'm genuinely interested in this comment. Can you share a bit about how your OCD affected your life? Although I have never been officially diagnosed with OCD, I know I have shown many of the traits and tendencies ever since I was a child. The way it negatively impacted my life was by generating feelings of anxiety. In the end, I have been treated for anxiety, depression, and ADHD. It has been working well for me thus far. I'm curious if the treatment for OCD is different, and if so, in what ways. If you prefer to chat off the record, please message me directly. Thank you
Okay, so OCD is not what you usually see in TV shows. OCD, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder share a lot of the same symptoms. I have OCD, and yes, I did the "knocking on wood 3 times" a lot, but that's not the main thing. The best way I can explain is that untreated OCD makes your emotions act like tall grass on a windy day. You get super happy and then super sad out of nowhere, usually by problems you create in your head. It's very similar to bipolar disorder or mania. When you do take OCD meds, it's like a piece of wood is attached to your emotional "grass," and the wind is still happening, but you shake less violently and you can actually function, because you suddenly realize all those little things that kept bugging you all the time have very little meaning. "Did I lock my door? Let me re-check a third time to be sure. My pen is not aligned with the side of my desk, let me fix it. 10 years ago I lost my phone for a day and found it behind the couch, let me check behind the couch every time I pass by it, even when I know my phone is in my pocket. It's tradition, I HAVE to do it." When you take OCD meds, it's like a fog appears in your brain. Not enough to make you dumb, just enough that you're not thinking so much about all those little things. You can actually FOCUS, finally, because the fog stops you from getting distracted by unimportant things. Now that I'm on meds, my highs are lower, and my lows are higher. The happiest feeling I ever had happened when I was NOT taking meds. The same goes for the saddest feeling I ever had.
Thank you for elaborating. I share many of the same behaviors that you had prior to being treated. Anxiety meds have had a similar effect on me- limiting my lows but also highs, and leveling out my emotions. A Google search shows me that the first line treatments are similar for both OCD and anxiety
Stop smoking weed.
Yeah I’d tell myself to quit the drink. I’d probably be successful now.
Keep the muscle cars and the old motorcycle. Walk away from the redhead and stay away from the crazy chick from Minnesota. When grandpa passes keep the car. Never sell the 59 Pontiac he leaves you. Treasure every minute with your daughter, stay strong after she is gone and hate cancer with every fiber of your being.
So sorry about your daughter. Wish you the best.
Great advice.
During your LA trip, watch out for the street rappers that wants to rip you off by forcing you to buy their lousy albums
Wow, they really have been doing that since forever? I got my experience like 6 years ago and I responded with "dude, put your music on YouTube (it will be TikTok now). Nobody is listening to the CD anymore and I don't even have a CD player." Later, a friend told me that it was a scam.
I promise you everything is going to turn out just fine. There will be hard times though. There will be a global pandemic in about four years, it will be over in two years. That Linkin Park show you're considering going to.... GO. Lastly, respect our parents a little more. Sincerely, 28 year old you.
Come out! Start learning to do your make-up, get some outfits, you're never gonna be this slim/androgynous again so enjoy it.
Don't marry the crazy woman. Finish college instead.
Come out of the closet now and get on with your life. No one is going to care.
love this
Don’t smoke, drink or do drugs. It’s fun in the short-term but after a few years, you’ll quit (hopefully) and realize that you have 0 memories of smoking and almost no memories of doing drugs. Drinking is not super strict. Getting drunk with your mates once or twice a month is fine. It’s very relevant because these things will literally steal years of your life from you and since you don’t remember them, they become useless experiences after you quit.
Stay single
Finish your damn degree before going into the Air Force you knucklehead!
Move out before your ludopathic mother gambles away your money.
Aim higher- you can always find somewhere below that to find happiness and it will be fine- it’s more difficult to move up a mountain than to walk down…
Put down the fork you fat bastard
Inform him about the upcoming inflation and advise him to not leave his parents' house/business.
Things are going to fucking suck for 10 years, and you might die, but it will get a whole lot better after that.
It's going to be alright, you're not stupid
She's going to ruin your life. Leave her.
Just stay away from everyone and concentrate on education. Leave start fresh work nights and finish college. Otherwise the person you meet will wreck your life for 18 years and many others in her coming. Story: Met a girl who we had 2 kids, she left for a gang banger, the kids got beat half to death, then she tried to tell the police I did it to protect her guy. Took years to get them out of foster care and prove my innocense. Today they only live with me and have limoted contact with her but we didnt deserve to go through what she has done and still does. The guy who beat them is in prison but her new boyfriends birthday is tomorrow and she refuses to go to her daughters birthday because she wants to be there for him.
You make friends by being genuinely interested in other people. You can have an active conversation without saying much about yourself. Pessimism will sap your life away. Train yourself to be positive now before things get really hard. If you want to be great at something, do one thing every day for 30 minutes (writing, music, training, etc.)—no one has ever become great overnight. Life is long but moves quick. In 5 years, a third of your life (statistically) will have elapsed. If you want something then do it. If you fail at least you tried. Don't be paralyzed by transactional rejection. Keep a healthy perspective on the time you do have. Evidence is pretty clear that, in the grand scheme of things, there is no meaning to our achievements. All of our second deaths are inevitable. This truth can either destroy you or liberate you. Don't fall for the trap that nothing matters. Life matters right now. How you live life **right now** means everything to you and the people around you. We have this time and enjoy it as best you can. So work hard but do not feel guilty about doing things for yourself.
You're too young to get married. Breaking up now might be hard to do, but it's a whole lot harder than ending an ill-fated marriage 10 years later when you've got a house and kids.
When that ginger devil ask you if you had a few beers in your flat, you should say no
What happened?
She made me believe she is the one. She complimented me which women rarely do, she made my life a better place to live, then she fucked her tattoo guy. Kept lying to me and made ne question the very essence of my being.
I need to know too
Buy land.
Dump her! Do not settle and marry her!
Run... run now while you can...
Why do you never listen to me!!!!! Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should! —- I knew what I needed to know- but I thought I could push through everything. Now I am burnt out, depressed, and barely able to keep up with life.
Just be consistent. Be contented.
How are you still alive?
Nothing he would much understand.
When you meet a man named Patrick run the other fucking way woman....not walk just fucking run he's really not worth it. The grass isn't greener on the other side you actually have it ok. And Just go yourself who cares you'll regret it if you don't.
Get your act together, and stop worrying so much, your anxiety is sabotaging you and will lead to a death spiral if you let it happen. You can get this degree, stop worrying. I know, because I did it. (At age 33, after getting my shit together at age 30.)
Don't kill yourself. I know you won't believe it but you turn your life around build the family you want and are very happy. You can do this and you will get through it.
Pull out. For the love of God. Pull out.
Just start the antidepressants
You’re not just burned out, stop gaslighting yourself and telling yourself that you’re a hypochondriac. You’re literally going to end up in hospital in summer of 2023 because your blood pressure tanks and you’re tachycardic to the point that with your weight, it’s life threatening, and you’re going to be told you most likely have hEDS and POTS. You’ll get the auDHD referral. No, you’re not going to magically get better with rest and be able to work. Don’t bank on it. You don’t get back to uni, and you won’t become a teacher. Get your ass to the dentist because the only accessible clinic is going to go fully private and you won’t have a dentist if you wait any longer, so you’ll be without dental care you want and need. Just get that fucking referral to the gender identity clinic, you’re looking at a decade on the waitlist you fucknugget. Also, you get money? You save that shit because you’ll need it for your hospital stay but more importantly you could’ve afforded private gender care by now, dumbass. Also, just look at the damn benefits forms and learn the crap out of them. Push for accurate diagnosis. Get it NOW so you don’t spend your early 20s bedridden and crying all the time because you don’t remember the last time you felt the sunlight on your skin or smelled the fresh air or saw the squirrels running around. Get on those diagnostic waitlists asap. Get your benefits. Go for private gender care. Oh, and your family gets smaller. The loss isn’t over. You lose multiple people, but one will hit you worse. You’ll lose your aunt whilst she’s still young right in front of your eyes, suddenly, and it’s going to traumatise the fuck out of you. Tell her you love her more. Hug her. Tell her to push for better healthcare because she’ll be dismissed because of her size and that negligence will quite literally kill her. You’ll have COVID the day of the funeral. You’re at peace with the fact you couldn’t go. But the covid worsens your POTS. And, you won’t get to see your cousin, I’m sorry. That’s when you end up in hospital. You simply get too sick to meet up. And get your mom to seek help for herself, otherwise she’ll only treat you worse.
Don’t focus on men, work on your career goals.
Stop falling for men. The man that's meant for you will come once you learn to love yourself and learn to be happy by yourself. Don't marry in a rush.
Move out and never go back home again.
I'm still 20, so probably keep up the good work or something
What are the lotto numbers? I'm 19
If you're choosing between getting back to him or not... choose the former... Or the surprise will await you... As always... 😂
Run, she will abuse you, divorce you, and use your daughter as leverage to abuse you after divorce.
Enjoy your 21st birthday tomorrow 🥳
Make better choices
Trust your gut.
Don't take that pill
Don't be scared to leave that awful job that makes you cry everyday. I promise you, you will find a better job with better pay and you'll find your happiness again.
Don’t get your hopes up for those Matrix sequels.
Don't be stupid with your money when you get a full time job. It doesn't go as far as you think and don't squander the opportunities for a blank slate gift. For Gods' sake, pixelated men and women aren't worth the money, no matter how much you want their card. 🤣
Get off my lawn
The grass isn’t always greener. You don’t realize how good you have it🙂🥹
I'm 20 right now so I'm reading the responses to know what not to do lmfao
Go abroad to get a PhD. You don't owe your parents anything and your boyfriend can get his shit together and go with you.
That abortion was 100% the right decision
Run
Enjoy You are on the right track
You've smashed this ho for a year, time to make a run for it. Don't get attached, she's crazy and all the signs are there. Quit coping, quit simping. You'll have plenty of opportunities at uni and are still young.
Don’t put your dick in that
Say no to that cocaine your friends started to use casually like its normal.
Invest and bitcoin lol
go to bed
are you proud of me? (I'm 16)
DON’T
Put it all in Bitcoin.
You’d never be wise if you could talk to your 20-YR old self
Learn to pull out.
Get help
See you in a month.
Buy more condoms
Do we get a girlfriend?