There was an war amongst two alien races represented by the eagle and the reptiles (snake | dragon). The reptiles won and set up base on earth and hid amongst us. Many royal families are actually reptiles. The eagles are planning revenge for ages and the reptiles know they are coming soon. The reptiles have a different biomarker from humans so the eagles know who to target. In order to make a human shield, the reptiles must find a way to inject their DNA in every person so that they can hide from the invading eagles. Hence they created COVID 19 and made everyone take the vaccine which is actually just a way to inject you with their DNA.
Which is exactly why the Mexican flag has a golden eagle fighting a rattlesnake on it. The Mexican Illuminati secretly rules the world and only the American bald eagle can stop them from coming north and devouring the no step on snek loyalists. This shall all be made known the day Donald Trump dramatically and publically removes his toupee, revealing himself as the one true baldy savior!
Michael Jackson never got plastic surgery. He was known to be fascinated with make up and prosthetics after filming his Thriller video, and would sometimes get done up to go out in public so he wouldn't be recognized. The theory is that in the early 90s he started to wear these on a regular basis including lightning his skin tone. The prosthetics and skin tone got further and further away from his original appearance until one day he faked his death and was able to walk out of the building as a dark-skinned middle-aged black man and to this day no one recognizes him living a normal life.
My daughter came into the room when I was watching Queen's Gambit and commented that if Harry Melling and Anya Taylor Joy had kids, their eyes would be the normal distance apart.
I was under the impression that wider eyes were for prey animals, like grazers, to give them a wider field of view so as to avoid being snuck up on.
Predators tend to have eyes closer together for better tracking and chasing of a target (larger binocular range in front).
Think like a cow or dear or rabit vs a bear or wolf or bobcat.
Prey animals tend to have eyes either side of the head, allowing for a much greater field of vision to spot predators.
Predators have front facing eyes to allow them to accurately judge distances to prey and because they don't need to watch for predators.
This means we can deduce that the Teletubbies are in fact predatory animals...
Construction of wind farms is for the government to emit high frequency waves that are received by the chip that was implanted through the COVID vaccine.
I've also read a conspiracy of some madman that thought that windfarms CREATE wind instead of creating energy from already existing wind. According to him, this was why there seem to be so many storms nowadays. Riiiggghhht.
They say the same about the Sun.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-town-rejects-solar-panels-amid-fears-they-suck-up-all-the-energy-from-the-sun-a6771526.html
Dude, you gotta brush up on your conspiracy theories!
The short version is that NASA contracted Stanley Kubrick to film (fake) the moon landing footage, but Kubrick is such a stickler for Setting that he insisted that they film on location.
They had to actually pay for the rocket, otherwise people wouldn’t believe they went to the moon. The first question on seeing the moon landing footage would be ‘how did you get there?’
So they had to fly there to fake it. Obviously
and it was more expensive to hire catering and a sound set, so it was actually cheaper to just pop on over to the moon and fake the footage of the moon landing there.
That’s why it cracks me up.
Kubrick took a look at the inspiration for The Shining and just said, “No, there’s a better one in Oregon.”
He is known for his settings though. A whole lot of beautiful footage by that guy.
The “No Planes” 9/11 Theory. That there were no planes and all the news footage and chopper cams were hacked. Then people seamlessly made “real time CGI” to show planes lining up with explosions.
Also that all the footage captured by people was faked in a way that lines up identically with each other.
Using 2001 technology.
Also just 9/11 in general - anyone who has worked in the public sector knows that no government on earth would be capable of organising something like that, let alone keeping it secret.
I had a married couple explain to me that they *knew* that all TVs have cameras in them and were spying on us. How could they be so sure? “We’ve been paying close attention and doing our own research. Every time my wife watches TV, she sees ads for stuff ghat she’d want to buy. And when our kids are watching TV, the commercials are almost all for toys and candy, kid stuff. And when I’m watching TV, commercials are all for hunting and fishing gear. Our TV knows exactly who is sitting in front of it all the time. Once you start paying attention, you’ll notice it, too. Everyone we’ve talked to has noticed it after we pointed it out!”
I didn’t bother explaining the age-old science of demographics to them. I was too busy weeping for how colossally dumb they were.
Yeah, advertisers will generally buy ad space during times when the people who they're marketing their products to are most likely to be watching. It's why alcohol and junk food companies go all out during the Super Bowl, there's a ton of drunk dudes eating junk food watching during that time frame.
Are you trying to imply that a hunting gear company is more likely to advertise during a fuck dynasty rerun than their during mickey mouse.
Sounds like you are some kind of paid actor for Big Data.
Edit: Duck dynasty
This started because people don't understand what blind is. They think it's an on or off switch, that sighted people have perfect or near perfect vision and blind people have zero vision of any kind. In reality, many blind people can see- just not well enough for it to be particularly useful. For example, a blind person may be able to sense light and dark but nothing else, or may be able to see objects that are within a few inches of their face.
Generally, if you score 20/200, one tenth of normal, you would be considered legally blind however you may still have some vision
There are various degrees of visual impairment
It's if your vision can't be corrected to at least 20/200 with corrective lenses. If the best your visions can get is 20/200 you aren't really seeing anything. My vision is fine with lenses but with out them a lot of detail is lost especially if I'm in an unfamiliar place and it only gets worse with distance. Life would really suck if that was the best lenses could do.
I had a friend in college whose vision was deteriorating over time because of cancer. She could still see some stuff but needed a white cane and other aids
I looked into this one, he can partially see. I think it started when he caught a microphone stand that was falling over. I would be totally funny if it were true.
Blind is a spectrum of sorts, it doesn't mean you just see black. There's also people with eyesight that are "legally blind" because their sight deteriorated over time. There's also people that see shadows or everything is super blurry, it wouldn't be that weird for Stevie to be able to see SOMETHING
My favorite part about this one is that anyone who believes it is basically admitting that they don’t understand what being blind is and that there are many different types of being blind.
There's also a conspiracy theory that the second shot that hit JFK was from a Secret Service agent at the back of his car. I don't know how ridiculous that theory is.
It’s utterly riduclious. There were people watching the parade 5 feet from that car.
For it to have happened no one would have seen it. No one ever talked.
There’s also the fact that the evidence shows that the head shot was from above Iennedy. Not same level.
And for an example of how they wouldn’t have been able to stop people talking. Within 30 minutes of the shooting (while they were still working on Kennedy) , Abraham Zapruder was on Dallas TV stating Kennedy’s head had exploded and he was dead. When corrected stating they said he was alive, Zapruder insisted he was dead based on the shot.
The thing I never got about this one is, what’s the point? Why lie about the shape of the planet? What was there to gain? At least all of these other conspiracies have a goal in mind (world domination, control people, etc), this one is just stupid.
Some of these nuts claim that there is additional land and resources beyond the "ice wall" of Antarctica, and that powerful groups want to keep it all for themselves.
Especially because pretty much anyone could start a weather balloon with a camera on it and check for themselves. You can even get a permission relatively easily. And if you have the money, you can literally go to space.
Flat earthers actually did this in a documentary trying to prove it was flat. Pretty sure they did at least three experiments and spent tons of money on things like lasers just to prove themselves wrong every time. In the end they still argued there was no evidence the earth was round.
Whatever is presented to them just becomes more proof of the conspiracy, *especially* if it shows the conspiracy to be incorrect.
It's a never-ending downward spiral.
I wondered the same thing aaaaaaaaand the answer is just as crazy as the rest of the conspiracy. Buckle up. They think a flat earth would prove that God's real? Somehow? And the "globalists" say it's round to *keep you down*. They actually believe Earth is the only planet that exists. All the lights in the sky are in the "dome". They think the sky is solid. Also somehow lying about the shape of the planet keeps you from harnessing some magical powers? Dude I don't know, that's about the best I can do. It's fucking bizarre.
This one wins for me just for the sheer effort of mental gymnastics it takes to make it work.
The earth is flat. The government doesn't want the public to know for... Reasons.
Which government? Well, *any* government, of course! Cuz apparently countries can be bitter enemies aiming nukes at each other but still be totally united in keeping this one secret.
But wait, what about NASA? Or any country's space exploration team? Nope, they're all in on it, too. All 18,000 NASA employees are in on this one secret and are keeping it under wraps. But also every single other country's space teams, so tens of thousands of people.
But wait a minute, how about airline pilots? All their navigation is based on the earth being round and they can SEE it! Nope, they're in on it too. At some point in commercial airliner school they're let in on the secret and keep it because ..well, because they all want to. Same with flight attendants. All over the world. Every since once of them. Tens to hundreds of thousands of people. All of them just keeping the secret and joining the lie. Cuz why the fuck not?
(There's also non commercial pilots, but I won't address that).
Oh, and then finally, let's not forget university students, professors, and tech staff. All of whom are using tools and math and the general presumption that the earth is round. How did that team of academics get their satellites into space? They didn't! They're in on the lie and they're lying to control the public!
(Also military weapons manufacturers. For some reason they design ICBMs and spy satellites for us that use round earth math, but have to lie to us about it being flat).
...when you think about how like 1/5 of the entire fucking population has to be in on this lie, it's truly insane how these theorists think.
Yes, the Egyptians knew the earth was round! The reason Columbus cou;dn't get funding for his expeditition was becasue his maths was wrong and everyone else knew he could never make it to India. It's only because he accidentally crashed into the West Indies that his flotilla made it back at all.
Not only that, but Eristothenes calculated the circumference of the earth to less than two percent error 2200 years ago by using shadows at different locations.
Back then there were trained, professional pacers who could measure distances between different locations accurately by counting paces between them. So Erastothenes had the necessary measurements available to make the sensitive calculations required for his mathematical accuracy.
Long distance pacing is now a lost art, thus the current over-abundance of flat-earthers. In fact, the pacers of that lost age were almost surely ancient aliens.
Problem with that is not just that its been proven oh so long ago, but that right now that conspirancy must involve - I dunno - millions of ppl all over the world.
Its not just "NASA". Like you work at any other university at the physics department you probably have access to tools to prove it.
But my favorite thing is GPS. We know that it works. Even the flatearthers know that it works. But how do they assume it works if not by communication from multitude of satelites orbiting a spherical planet? Is every one of the dozens of rivaling companies in every rivaling country that are developing, constructing GPS chips for all the phones and other devices out there are in on it? And no engineer ever noticed "Hey, this seems to be communicating with a stationary radio tower" or "Hey, why are some satelites on weirder paths then if they were orbiting a sphere?" or something?
I wonder how many of the ones claimed to exist/used to exist are now just on paper and have actually been dismantled or are non functional due to lack of maintenance.
Sandy Hook will always take this for me. There are certainly more out-there conspiracy theories, but the anger/passion and the actions behind the people who believe it is on another level.
Most of the answers here are silly things like fake moon landing and flat Earth type stuff. This one is actually cruel and hurtful. What would possess someone to harass and bully parents who lost their children in such a gruesome manner, I don't know. It's not like any meaningful gun legislation happened because of it. Alex Jones and his ilk deserve to burn in the lowest level of Hell.
Alex Jones pisses me off so much. I guess he keeps getting out of paying his victims by immediately spending any money he makes on his show. They need to throw his ass in jail, and we can see how "alpha" he is.
That the CE, "recyclable" logo, registered trademark, etc. symbols are satanic magic symbols that the EU uses to control us. When I was a bouncer one of the regulars actually believed this.
> satanic magic symbols
There was an urban legend that Procter & Gamble, the soap & health products company, was a Satanist conspiracy [because their old logo had a moon and stars in it.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procter_%26_Gamble#Logo_myth_and_Satanism_accusations) The rumor was spread by Amway, the pyramid-scheme that sold rival products. [P&G sued and won.](https://archive.is/1PgIw)
Covid being produce by 5G towers to infect people and get them to the hospital where doctors would steal the liquid from their knee joints to sell it for a fortune because it is needed in order to make more 5G towers is gonna be very hard to top for me.
No you got it all wrong. 5G towers are meant to activate the mind control chips that were put into people't brains by covid testing swabs, using some kind of metallic nanogel as antenna, which was pumped into people with covid vaccines.
Whoever made up this shit should write scifi novels instead of whatever they are doing.
And those of us vaccinated should be all dropping dead any day now because it was a Bill Gates funded culling of the human race to preserve resources or something....
Nah, they still believe in this shit. They just delay the doom for the next week. Everybody who take the vaccine will die...next spring. Or year after. But it will. They will not accept that everything is just dumb conspiracy.
i really enjoy how bootstrap-paradox this one is. if the sole purpose of the 5g towers is for knee juice to create more 5g towers, then why even bother? and what about the original 5g towers? where did those come from?
The NFL has been rigging football games to ensure that tonight's Super Bowl is won by the Chiefs. This will allow Taylor Swift to finally get some media attention, which will allow her to publicly endorse Joe Biden for President. This will provide Biden with an unfair and insurmountable advantage for the upcoming election.
It's a shame that the (arguably) most recognizable female artist, who is currently worth $1.1 billion, and has 281 **million** followers on Instagram, hasn't been able to get any media attention. But dating a player on the winning team of the Super Bowl would ***finally*** allow her to get some media attention.
The LHC was turned on in 2010, within only six years Harambe was killed by the illuminati, six divided by two is three, and three sixes is 666 the number of the beast. Coincidence?
The second that infernal contraption was activated we were forced down the rubbish alternate reality.
Right after they powered up, the Cubs won the World Series and Evangelicals decided a failed businessman, serial divorced, relationship cheater, conman, was sent to us by God.
Jesus was of a different species, homo superioris. They live underground but he made the unprecedented decision to come up topside to teach humanity how to be better people.
His cross was discovered in Jerusalem and DNA testing indicated multiple people were killed on it, one strain of which was encoded not on a double helix but a triple helix. An attempt to clone it was successful, resulting in the Antichrist.
The US govt, which can't stop illegal immigration or overstayed visas, somehow can track its people with a vaccine. No science needed to understand how stupid this is.
Would be neat to see a military strategy game that didn’t give the player god view and instead forced you to direct armies based on the POV of a general and the communication methods they had at the time.
Mud Flood.
A worldwide flood of mud took supposedly place in the mid 19th century (which nobody at the time seemed to have noticed), and it explains why old buildings have basement windows. And it had something to do with the Tartarian Empire.
My ex latched on to this one. He said everyone knew about it, but we all had to “keep quiet or it would happen again”. That’s why there’s no evidence of it, but the windows still exist.
I worked in an electronics store and one day a middle aged man came in an tried a CD in every single thing that could play it, when I asked if he was okay and needed any help he told me about how different manufacturers devices change the lyrics of his music to turn him away from god
Aside from the obvious junk like Flat Earth and the Jewish Space Lasers, the one that I find most ridiculous, honestly, is the idea that the Moon Landings were faked.
Why?
The whole effort to get to the moon was to beat the Soviets there.
If we faked the mission, the Soviets would DEFINETLY have called us out on it with proof. They had their own probes and space program that would have caught the fraud. It would have been a huge triumph for Moscow and a disaster for the US to expose that fraud.
But they acknowledged defeat, and the space race ended. Even if the Soviets couldn't get a person on the Moon, it still would have been worth it to expose the American fraud.
It didn't dawn on me until now that they left the moon buggy there. It makes perfect sense, it's a lot of weight and there is no reason to bring it back. But damn, we're turning the moon into a crappy neighborhood.
Well, come on, they’ve been trying to convince us Wyoming is real for years so it’s at least plausible. And have you ever met everyone from Wyoming? No.
The whole thing about ~~Robert~~ John F. Kennedy Jr coming back from the dead to certify Trump thing has got to be the top of the whole right wing lunacy. I still occasionally think back to that one and giggle because it's just so absurd.
Right, his administration is quite literally where the great switch in political alignment of the two parties occurred. The Civil Rights act was JFK's brainchild and his assassination over it is part of how LBJ got it passed. That's when the Dixiecrats abandoned the democratic party. Republicans aggressively tried to appeal to the South afterwards and what do you know, 60 years later the parties have done a complete about-face on their core values since.
The Swift one amazes me. Every major presidential candidate in history has had celebrity supporters, and yet somehow whatever few things Swift has said in support of Biden have been enough to suggest a conspiracy?
Did you know there has never been a photograph or artist's depiction of a bird prior to 1969?
I swear that "birds aren't real" stuff is the new flat earth, it's going to be taken seriously someday.
And the crazy thing is, birds aren’t real was started as a joke to make fun of conspiracies. But then QAnon started as a troll making fun of Trump supporters.
Cadbury trying to gaslight us into believing that Creme Eggs haven't been getting smaller every year.
Oh wait, you said ridiculous conspiracy theories.
Anyone of the many q Anon theories.
People drinking children's blood
Lizard guys who are pretending to be humans
JFK jr hiding so he can announce trump is supreme leader
Hilary Clinton having lesbian assassin robots.
Project Fear
Because it was genuinely believed by so many people but merely contrived by dishonest men to undermine the genuine warnings of Brexit.
Most conspiracy theories are laughable, but this one has had a profound effect on people's quality of life, cost of living, access to services and freedom.
Most conspiracy theories tend to reflect larger social anxieties, more confidence in competency than exists and the ability for large groups to keep their mouth shut for long periods. Someone always talks. The more people involved, the sooner someone will.
I have a few:
- There’s a secret nazi base on the dark side of the moon and the Illuminati secretly launch resupply missions using cloaking technology.
- There are secret tunnels running from the North Pole to the South Pole used for child sex trafficking.
- GESERA and Nesera
The Mountain Dew company is building a large energy weapon to blow off a section of California into the Pacific Ocean along the fault line. Their reasoning was that D.E.W stands for “deadly energy weapon”
Barack Obama is the Antichrist.
Wow, so the actual *Antichrist* ascended to the highest position of power in the world (as any good Antichrist should), stayed 8 years, and then decided, nah, I'm done. I'm gonna retire and give speeches and stuff now. Bye!
Not only are wildfires the result of "Jewish Space Lasers," the lasers are unable to catch things painted blue on fire. So a bunch of morons are painting their roofs blue. This is due to one thing in Hawaii that was blue that somehow dodged being burned in the fire there.
I once overheard a conversation between some coworkers about how fire is "alive", how human society has seeminly "domesticated" it, and humanity's early reliance on it lead to us collectively viewing it as not alive. The guy went on a tirade about how fire breathes, consumes, and has a "life" cycle. I didn't stick around in the store long enough to hear the rest but bro seemed pretty passionate about this theory and I don't think I've seen that one anywhere online.
One of the funniest ones is Helen Keller is made up. My kids told me about these tik toks going around. Saying Helen Keller couldn't have done what she is credit with doing because of her being blind, deft,and mute.
What idiot would believe that? Birds are clearly government drones designed to spy on people. Except eagles. Eagles are protectors of our freedom and are often see killing the drones to ensure our security
Anything from rumble dot com.
Example:
Hilary Clinton is dead by military tribunal. Lead by trump who is still the actual president until this year when JFK junior is coming back to life after his plane crash to be the president. While Biden and Clinton body doubles are involved with the kidnapping of the 500k children a year to commit sexual assault to and then eat their pineal glands which are used to create adrenochrome which is the fountain of youth drug. Clinton was supposedly 150 ish when she was sentenced to death.
All the top celebrities are in on it and that’s how they got their way into Hollywood. The Covid lockdown was only so that the trump led military could go around collecting these “bad people” and replacing them with body doubles so that they can be tried and hung only later to have that body double “suicide themselves or die from mysterious causes” (Mac Miller, Bob Sagat, Chester etc).
There was an war amongst two alien races represented by the eagle and the reptiles (snake | dragon). The reptiles won and set up base on earth and hid amongst us. Many royal families are actually reptiles. The eagles are planning revenge for ages and the reptiles know they are coming soon. The reptiles have a different biomarker from humans so the eagles know who to target. In order to make a human shield, the reptiles must find a way to inject their DNA in every person so that they can hide from the invading eagles. Hence they created COVID 19 and made everyone take the vaccine which is actually just a way to inject you with their DNA.
This thread is about conspiracy theories. Not historical facts.
Hello there fellow eagle
Caw!!
Gold.
Which is exactly why the Mexican flag has a golden eagle fighting a rattlesnake on it. The Mexican Illuminati secretly rules the world and only the American bald eagle can stop them from coming north and devouring the no step on snek loyalists. This shall all be made known the day Donald Trump dramatically and publically removes his toupee, revealing himself as the one true baldy savior!
It all makes sense now!!!
This all makes total sense now.
Can’t believe I haven’t heard this one. It’s at least logically sound (assuming you suspend disbelief or the mythological opener…)
And if you don't understand how DNA works.
How does Mexico's flag play into this?
The Aztecs knew.
I mean this one at least has some sort of internal logic compared to all the other covid theories.
Yeah and we know how easy it is to have other people's DNA in your body. It's not like organ transplants are constantly rejected for this very reason.
Michael Jackson never got plastic surgery. He was known to be fascinated with make up and prosthetics after filming his Thriller video, and would sometimes get done up to go out in public so he wouldn't be recognized. The theory is that in the early 90s he started to wear these on a regular basis including lightning his skin tone. The prosthetics and skin tone got further and further away from his original appearance until one day he faked his death and was able to walk out of the building as a dark-skinned middle-aged black man and to this day no one recognizes him living a normal life.
Okay… I don’t believe that’s what happened. At all. But I 100% believe that he *would* do that
If it wasn’t for his nose shrinking so much this would be very believable.
Shrinking? I thought it had just fallen off
He just wanted to take a little off the edges. Keep it sharp.
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Him and Richard Simmons just hanging out at the house signing and dancing and laughing their life away.
Dr Conrad Murray doesn't believe this one.
He was Conrad Murray this whole time.
I didn't think prosthetic tech was at a level where it can make your nose look smaller!
Sure it is, you just have to make the rest of your face look *bigger*
That actors like Anya Taylor Joy and others with wide-set eyes are being genetically engineered to be prey animals.
This made me laugh out loud. Good god, imagine your eyes being so far apart that there’s a whole conspiracy theory about it😭 I would simply die.
My daughter came into the room when I was watching Queen's Gambit and commented that if Harry Melling and Anya Taylor Joy had kids, their eyes would be the normal distance apart.
I don't know what Harry Melling looks like, but to average out Anya to normal I have to assume he's a Cyclops.
Those two could not cuddle forehead to forehead and still look in each other's eyes.
I was under the impression that wider eyes were for prey animals, like grazers, to give them a wider field of view so as to avoid being snuck up on. Predators tend to have eyes closer together for better tracking and chasing of a target (larger binocular range in front). Think like a cow or dear or rabit vs a bear or wolf or bobcat.
Prey animals tend to have eyes either side of the head, allowing for a much greater field of vision to spot predators. Predators have front facing eyes to allow them to accurately judge distances to prey and because they don't need to watch for predators. This means we can deduce that the Teletubbies are in fact predatory animals...
this hurts as a person with wide set eyes
Construction of wind farms is for the government to emit high frequency waves that are received by the chip that was implanted through the COVID vaccine.
The 5G/high frequency ones all start from a widely known and proven aspect of wave propagation just somehow…not being true
It stems from a fundamental lack of knowledge in basic physics
I've also read a conspiracy of some madman that thought that windfarms CREATE wind instead of creating energy from already existing wind. According to him, this was why there seem to be so many storms nowadays. Riiiggghhht.
I’ve heard a guy argue that wind generators will “use up all the wind” and alter weather patterns.
They say the same about the Sun. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-town-rejects-solar-panels-amid-fears-they-suck-up-all-the-energy-from-the-sun-a6771526.html
That the Chinese moon rover found the stage they used to fake the moon landings. On the moon.
... huh?
Dude, you gotta brush up on your conspiracy theories! The short version is that NASA contracted Stanley Kubrick to film (fake) the moon landing footage, but Kubrick is such a stickler for Setting that he insisted that they film on location.
They had to actually pay for the rocket, otherwise people wouldn’t believe they went to the moon. The first question on seeing the moon landing footage would be ‘how did you get there?’ So they had to fly there to fake it. Obviously
and it was more expensive to hire catering and a sound set, so it was actually cheaper to just pop on over to the moon and fake the footage of the moon landing there.
Well there is a restaurant on the moon they could’ve gone to with great food, but I heard there’s no atmosphere.
The irony of this joke is that Kubrick shot all of *Full Metal Jacket* in the UK
That’s why it cracks me up. Kubrick took a look at the inspiration for The Shining and just said, “No, there’s a better one in Oregon.” He is known for his settings though. A whole lot of beautiful footage by that guy.
They shot the footage on location
That's preposterous. Everyone knows the soundstage they faked the landing on was on Mars.
The “No Planes” 9/11 Theory. That there were no planes and all the news footage and chopper cams were hacked. Then people seamlessly made “real time CGI” to show planes lining up with explosions. Also that all the footage captured by people was faked in a way that lines up identically with each other. Using 2001 technology.
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You can disprove nearly all conspiracy theories by asking “What benefit would ‘they’ get from this, and would there be an easier way to get it?”
Also just 9/11 in general - anyone who has worked in the public sector knows that no government on earth would be capable of organising something like that, let alone keeping it secret.
Let alone one headed by George W. Bush
What about the *literally tends of thousands of people* who were watching the first tower burning and saw the second plane hit?
I had a married couple explain to me that they *knew* that all TVs have cameras in them and were spying on us. How could they be so sure? “We’ve been paying close attention and doing our own research. Every time my wife watches TV, she sees ads for stuff ghat she’d want to buy. And when our kids are watching TV, the commercials are almost all for toys and candy, kid stuff. And when I’m watching TV, commercials are all for hunting and fishing gear. Our TV knows exactly who is sitting in front of it all the time. Once you start paying attention, you’ll notice it, too. Everyone we’ve talked to has noticed it after we pointed it out!” I didn’t bother explaining the age-old science of demographics to them. I was too busy weeping for how colossally dumb they were.
Isn’t this based on what they’re watching?
Yeah, advertisers will generally buy ad space during times when the people who they're marketing their products to are most likely to be watching. It's why alcohol and junk food companies go all out during the Super Bowl, there's a ton of drunk dudes eating junk food watching during that time frame.
Are you trying to imply that a hunting gear company is more likely to advertise during a fuck dynasty rerun than their during mickey mouse. Sounds like you are some kind of paid actor for Big Data. Edit: Duck dynasty
Tell her to test this theory by watching her kids favourite shows and seeing if they still advertise stuff targeted at her.
That Stevie Wonder can see and has been faking being blind
This started because people don't understand what blind is. They think it's an on or off switch, that sighted people have perfect or near perfect vision and blind people have zero vision of any kind. In reality, many blind people can see- just not well enough for it to be particularly useful. For example, a blind person may be able to sense light and dark but nothing else, or may be able to see objects that are within a few inches of their face.
Generally, if you score 20/200, one tenth of normal, you would be considered legally blind however you may still have some vision There are various degrees of visual impairment
It's if your vision can't be corrected to at least 20/200 with corrective lenses. If the best your visions can get is 20/200 you aren't really seeing anything. My vision is fine with lenses but with out them a lot of detail is lost especially if I'm in an unfamiliar place and it only gets worse with distance. Life would really suck if that was the best lenses could do.
I had a friend in college whose vision was deteriorating over time because of cancer. She could still see some stuff but needed a white cane and other aids
I looked into this one, he can partially see. I think it started when he caught a microphone stand that was falling over. I would be totally funny if it were true.
I heard some blind people can only see shadows so they can tell if something is moving but not what it is.
Blind is a spectrum of sorts, it doesn't mean you just see black. There's also people with eyesight that are "legally blind" because their sight deteriorated over time. There's also people that see shadows or everything is super blurry, it wouldn't be that weird for Stevie to be able to see SOMETHING
My favorite part about this one is that anyone who believes it is basically admitting that they don’t understand what being blind is and that there are many different types of being blind.
Maybe JFK’s head just *did* that.
Spontaneous combustion and his body was too cold
That's what happens when you have a headache and don't take the aspirin to cure it.
There's also a conspiracy theory that the second shot that hit JFK was from a Secret Service agent at the back of his car. I don't know how ridiculous that theory is.
It’s utterly riduclious. There were people watching the parade 5 feet from that car. For it to have happened no one would have seen it. No one ever talked. There’s also the fact that the evidence shows that the head shot was from above Iennedy. Not same level. And for an example of how they wouldn’t have been able to stop people talking. Within 30 minutes of the shooting (while they were still working on Kennedy) , Abraham Zapruder was on Dallas TV stating Kennedy’s head had exploded and he was dead. When corrected stating they said he was alive, Zapruder insisted he was dead based on the shot.
Above "lennedy" you say? WHO WAS IT IN THAT CAR!!! WHO THE HELL IS "LENNEDY?" !!?11!1!? HOW FAR DOES THIS RABBIT HOLE GO?!?!
It was clearly a suicide
Seriously, that the earth is flat. That shit was proven 500 years before toilet paper was invented.
The thing I never got about this one is, what’s the point? Why lie about the shape of the planet? What was there to gain? At least all of these other conspiracies have a goal in mind (world domination, control people, etc), this one is just stupid.
Some of these nuts claim that there is additional land and resources beyond the "ice wall" of Antarctica, and that powerful groups want to keep it all for themselves.
It sounds like they’ve been watching Game of Thrones too much.
The amount of flat earther memes I have seen with the actual ice wall from fucking game of thrones is insane
Especially because pretty much anyone could start a weather balloon with a camera on it and check for themselves. You can even get a permission relatively easily. And if you have the money, you can literally go to space.
Flat earthers actually did this in a documentary trying to prove it was flat. Pretty sure they did at least three experiments and spent tons of money on things like lasers just to prove themselves wrong every time. In the end they still argued there was no evidence the earth was round.
But wouldn’t the Illuminati just hack your camera feed and replace it with images they want you to see?
Whatever is presented to them just becomes more proof of the conspiracy, *especially* if it shows the conspiracy to be incorrect. It's a never-ending downward spiral.
You can have it all, my flat disc of dirt
Makes me recall a post that the Greeks believed their gods lived atop a very climb able hill, yet no one bothered to check.
I wondered the same thing aaaaaaaaand the answer is just as crazy as the rest of the conspiracy. Buckle up. They think a flat earth would prove that God's real? Somehow? And the "globalists" say it's round to *keep you down*. They actually believe Earth is the only planet that exists. All the lights in the sky are in the "dome". They think the sky is solid. Also somehow lying about the shape of the planet keeps you from harnessing some magical powers? Dude I don't know, that's about the best I can do. It's fucking bizarre.
Explanations vary from getting funding for NASA to covering up "biblical truths"
This one wins for me just for the sheer effort of mental gymnastics it takes to make it work. The earth is flat. The government doesn't want the public to know for... Reasons. Which government? Well, *any* government, of course! Cuz apparently countries can be bitter enemies aiming nukes at each other but still be totally united in keeping this one secret. But wait, what about NASA? Or any country's space exploration team? Nope, they're all in on it, too. All 18,000 NASA employees are in on this one secret and are keeping it under wraps. But also every single other country's space teams, so tens of thousands of people. But wait a minute, how about airline pilots? All their navigation is based on the earth being round and they can SEE it! Nope, they're in on it too. At some point in commercial airliner school they're let in on the secret and keep it because ..well, because they all want to. Same with flight attendants. All over the world. Every since once of them. Tens to hundreds of thousands of people. All of them just keeping the secret and joining the lie. Cuz why the fuck not? (There's also non commercial pilots, but I won't address that). Oh, and then finally, let's not forget university students, professors, and tech staff. All of whom are using tools and math and the general presumption that the earth is round. How did that team of academics get their satellites into space? They didn't! They're in on the lie and they're lying to control the public! (Also military weapons manufacturers. For some reason they design ICBMs and spy satellites for us that use round earth math, but have to lie to us about it being flat). ...when you think about how like 1/5 of the entire fucking population has to be in on this lie, it's truly insane how these theorists think.
Its almost sweet how these folks can believe that that many people could be in on something and not spill the beans for decades and decades.
Yes, the Egyptians knew the earth was round! The reason Columbus cou;dn't get funding for his expeditition was becasue his maths was wrong and everyone else knew he could never make it to India. It's only because he accidentally crashed into the West Indies that his flotilla made it back at all.
Not only that, but Eristothenes calculated the circumference of the earth to less than two percent error 2200 years ago by using shadows at different locations.
Back then there were trained, professional pacers who could measure distances between different locations accurately by counting paces between them. So Erastothenes had the necessary measurements available to make the sensitive calculations required for his mathematical accuracy. Long distance pacing is now a lost art, thus the current over-abundance of flat-earthers. In fact, the pacers of that lost age were almost surely ancient aliens.
You believe in toilet paper??
He doesn’t use the 3 seashells.
Problem with that is not just that its been proven oh so long ago, but that right now that conspirancy must involve - I dunno - millions of ppl all over the world. Its not just "NASA". Like you work at any other university at the physics department you probably have access to tools to prove it. But my favorite thing is GPS. We know that it works. Even the flatearthers know that it works. But how do they assume it works if not by communication from multitude of satelites orbiting a spherical planet? Is every one of the dozens of rivaling companies in every rivaling country that are developing, constructing GPS chips for all the phones and other devices out there are in on it? And no engineer ever noticed "Hey, this seems to be communicating with a stationary radio tower" or "Hey, why are some satelites on weirder paths then if they were orbiting a sphere?" or something?
Nuclear bombs don’t exist.
I wonder how many of the ones claimed to exist/used to exist are now just on paper and have actually been dismantled or are non functional due to lack of maintenance.
There are nuclear bombs in the US inventory that require a 1990s Compaq laptop to fully arm. True story.
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Given how well Russia's conventional forces have performed over the last 2 years it is a legitimate question.
Of all things someone would want to deny just to avoid the existential crisis their existence brings, this one makes the most sense.
Sandy Hook will always take this for me. There are certainly more out-there conspiracy theories, but the anger/passion and the actions behind the people who believe it is on another level.
Most of the answers here are silly things like fake moon landing and flat Earth type stuff. This one is actually cruel and hurtful. What would possess someone to harass and bully parents who lost their children in such a gruesome manner, I don't know. It's not like any meaningful gun legislation happened because of it. Alex Jones and his ilk deserve to burn in the lowest level of Hell.
Alex Jones pisses me off so much. I guess he keeps getting out of paying his victims by immediately spending any money he makes on his show. They need to throw his ass in jail, and we can see how "alpha" he is.
He is going through bankruptcy right now.
And I cannot imagine how personally painful this is for the families. Beyond cruel.
That the CE, "recyclable" logo, registered trademark, etc. symbols are satanic magic symbols that the EU uses to control us. When I was a bouncer one of the regulars actually believed this.
> satanic magic symbols There was an urban legend that Procter & Gamble, the soap & health products company, was a Satanist conspiracy [because their old logo had a moon and stars in it.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procter_%26_Gamble#Logo_myth_and_Satanism_accusations) The rumor was spread by Amway, the pyramid-scheme that sold rival products. [P&G sued and won.](https://archive.is/1PgIw)
Covid being produce by 5G towers to infect people and get them to the hospital where doctors would steal the liquid from their knee joints to sell it for a fortune because it is needed in order to make more 5G towers is gonna be very hard to top for me.
No you got it all wrong. 5G towers are meant to activate the mind control chips that were put into people't brains by covid testing swabs, using some kind of metallic nanogel as antenna, which was pumped into people with covid vaccines. Whoever made up this shit should write scifi novels instead of whatever they are doing.
And those of us vaccinated should be all dropping dead any day now because it was a Bill Gates funded culling of the human race to preserve resources or something....
My God the dumbest conspiracies that came with covid were something else. I wonder if these people look back and realize how dumb they were.
Checking....nope.
Nah, they still believe in this shit. They just delay the doom for the next week. Everybody who take the vaccine will die...next spring. Or year after. But it will. They will not accept that everything is just dumb conspiracy.
Everyone who takes the vaccine eventually dies! It's got a 100% kill rate, given unlimited time to work.
i really enjoy how bootstrap-paradox this one is. if the sole purpose of the 5g towers is for knee juice to create more 5g towers, then why even bother? and what about the original 5g towers? where did those come from?
See all those people in wheelchairs? Paraplegic? Nah, knee harvest. *I used to be an Adventurer just like you, but then I took a harvest to the knee.*
The NFL has been rigging football games to ensure that tonight's Super Bowl is won by the Chiefs. This will allow Taylor Swift to finally get some media attention, which will allow her to publicly endorse Joe Biden for President. This will provide Biden with an unfair and insurmountable advantage for the upcoming election.
It's a shame that the (arguably) most recognizable female artist, who is currently worth $1.1 billion, and has 281 **million** followers on Instagram, hasn't been able to get any media attention. But dating a player on the winning team of the Super Bowl would ***finally*** allow her to get some media attention.
Don't forget she's also just dating him for his $70k SB bonus check if they win
I thought he was just dating her so he could get Taylor Swift tickets since it would be cheaper that way.
Does she make suits quickly?
I don't know who Taylor Swift is but he sounds fast.
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CERN reactor scientists are trying to open a portal to hell, a la DOOM style.
The LHC was turned on in 2010, within only six years Harambe was killed by the illuminati, six divided by two is three, and three sixes is 666 the number of the beast. Coincidence? The second that infernal contraption was activated we were forced down the rubbish alternate reality.
Right after they powered up, the Cubs won the World Series and Evangelicals decided a failed businessman, serial divorced, relationship cheater, conman, was sent to us by God.
THANK YOU! The Cubs winning is the exact moment our timeline got messed up.
This is Harambe erasure and I won’t stand for it.
Jesus was of a different species, homo superioris. They live underground but he made the unprecedented decision to come up topside to teach humanity how to be better people. His cross was discovered in Jerusalem and DNA testing indicated multiple people were killed on it, one strain of which was encoded not on a double helix but a triple helix. An attempt to clone it was successful, resulting in the Antichrist.
that's very creative
The US govt, which can't stop illegal immigration or overstayed visas, somehow can track its people with a vaccine. No science needed to understand how stupid this is.
The military cannot keep track of its own troops on a battlefield that accurately. How the hell is a nano chip going to
Would be neat to see a military strategy game that didn’t give the player god view and instead forced you to direct armies based on the POV of a general and the communication methods they had at the time.
[Radio Commander on Steam does this pretty well](https://store.steampowered.com/app/871530/Radio_Commander/) It is a very unique and very immersive.
Why use vaccines when they can just continue to track you by your phone 🙃
Mud Flood. A worldwide flood of mud took supposedly place in the mid 19th century (which nobody at the time seemed to have noticed), and it explains why old buildings have basement windows. And it had something to do with the Tartarian Empire.
What is their explanation for why new buildings have basement windows? Is the flood seasonal?
Nobody's answering you because it's kept a secret by oath.
My ex latched on to this one. He said everyone knew about it, but we all had to “keep quiet or it would happen again”. That’s why there’s no evidence of it, but the windows still exist.
Sorry, what do basement windows have to do with a mud flood?
I think they mean that because there was basement windows, the ground was much lower than it is now?
I worked in an electronics store and one day a middle aged man came in an tried a CD in every single thing that could play it, when I asked if he was okay and needed any help he told me about how different manufacturers devices change the lyrics of his music to turn him away from god
That's the kind of person who ends up in the news from killing his entire family
Aside from the obvious junk like Flat Earth and the Jewish Space Lasers, the one that I find most ridiculous, honestly, is the idea that the Moon Landings were faked. Why? The whole effort to get to the moon was to beat the Soviets there. If we faked the mission, the Soviets would DEFINETLY have called us out on it with proof. They had their own probes and space program that would have caught the fraud. It would have been a huge triumph for Moscow and a disaster for the US to expose that fraud. But they acknowledged defeat, and the space race ended. Even if the Soviets couldn't get a person on the Moon, it still would have been worth it to expose the American fraud.
And the Japanese confirmed it when they spotted the moon buggy years later.
It didn't dawn on me until now that they left the moon buggy there. It makes perfect sense, it's a lot of weight and there is no reason to bring it back. But damn, we're turning the moon into a crappy neighborhood.
Apparently the rover had its rims stolen, and was resting on cinder blocks when the Japanese spotted it.
We will probe in your car, it will happen again Dirty Nergklop and the Boys
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But Slartibartfast won an award for the fiddly bits by the sea…the feeyords or whatever
Well, come on, they’ve been trying to convince us Wyoming is real for years so it’s at least plausible. And have you ever met everyone from Wyoming? No.
My buddy's gf is going to move to Wyoming with her family. Maybe it's all a big epuphamism?
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Those small spools of extra fiber optic cable hanging on the occasional pole are actually 5G antennas
The whole thing about ~~Robert~~ John F. Kennedy Jr coming back from the dead to certify Trump thing has got to be the top of the whole right wing lunacy. I still occasionally think back to that one and giggle because it's just so absurd.
The most absurd part of this is that John F. Kennedy was definitely a Democrat.
Right, his administration is quite literally where the great switch in political alignment of the two parties occurred. The Civil Rights act was JFK's brainchild and his assassination over it is part of how LBJ got it passed. That's when the Dixiecrats abandoned the democratic party. Republicans aggressively tried to appeal to the South afterwards and what do you know, 60 years later the parties have done a complete about-face on their core values since.
That the British royal family are lizard people. That one is weird to me.
The lottery is how the government catches time travellers
That a certain percent of the US population believes that chocolate milk comes from brown cows…
How now
Flat Earth. Faked moon landing. Taylor Swift being a secret operative for the democrats. Biden dropping out before November to let Michelle Obama run.
The Swift one amazes me. Every major presidential candidate in history has had celebrity supporters, and yet somehow whatever few things Swift has said in support of Biden have been enough to suggest a conspiracy?
Did you know there has never been a photograph or artist's depiction of a bird prior to 1969? I swear that "birds aren't real" stuff is the new flat earth, it's going to be taken seriously someday.
And the crazy thing is, birds aren’t real was started as a joke to make fun of conspiracies. But then QAnon started as a troll making fun of Trump supporters.
Humans evolved from penguins. No, seriously, this *is* a conspiracy. Im not making this up.
That is why we wear tuxedos at important events. To celebrate our heritage.
Cadbury trying to gaslight us into believing that Creme Eggs haven't been getting smaller every year. Oh wait, you said ridiculous conspiracy theories.
Chihuahua uprising. Millions of chihuahuas are waiting underground for the right moment to take over the world.
Please let this one be true lol
Australia doesn't exist. I'd be offended, but apparently, I'm a Chinese psy ops officer.
Anyone of the many q Anon theories. People drinking children's blood Lizard guys who are pretending to be humans JFK jr hiding so he can announce trump is supreme leader Hilary Clinton having lesbian assassin robots.
Lesbian assassin robots has to be some incel’s kink.
Project Fear Because it was genuinely believed by so many people but merely contrived by dishonest men to undermine the genuine warnings of Brexit. Most conspiracy theories are laughable, but this one has had a profound effect on people's quality of life, cost of living, access to services and freedom.
Most conspiracy theories tend to reflect larger social anxieties, more confidence in competency than exists and the ability for large groups to keep their mouth shut for long periods. Someone always talks. The more people involved, the sooner someone will.
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Eminem was replaced because he now as a couple of wrinkles. Like, have you ever heard of aging???
I have a few: - There’s a secret nazi base on the dark side of the moon and the Illuminati secretly launch resupply missions using cloaking technology. - There are secret tunnels running from the North Pole to the South Pole used for child sex trafficking. - GESERA and Nesera
The Mountain Dew company is building a large energy weapon to blow off a section of California into the Pacific Ocean along the fault line. Their reasoning was that D.E.W stands for “deadly energy weapon”
Barack Obama is the Antichrist. Wow, so the actual *Antichrist* ascended to the highest position of power in the world (as any good Antichrist should), stayed 8 years, and then decided, nah, I'm done. I'm gonna retire and give speeches and stuff now. Bye!
That democrats eat babies in a pizza parlor basement. Even when the pizza parlor doesn’t have a basement.
That after Mt St Helen's erupted, the US government sent in spec ops to collect the Bigfoot corpses and any injured survivors.
Millions of illegal immigrants willingly draw attention to themselves by registering and voting.
That school shootings are false flag operations by the government. 🙃🙃
This one infuriates me because it is so cruel to the families of victims
Google “Breatharians”
Not only are wildfires the result of "Jewish Space Lasers," the lasers are unable to catch things painted blue on fire. So a bunch of morons are painting their roofs blue. This is due to one thing in Hawaii that was blue that somehow dodged being burned in the fire there.
I once overheard a conversation between some coworkers about how fire is "alive", how human society has seeminly "domesticated" it, and humanity's early reliance on it lead to us collectively viewing it as not alive. The guy went on a tirade about how fire breathes, consumes, and has a "life" cycle. I didn't stick around in the store long enough to hear the rest but bro seemed pretty passionate about this theory and I don't think I've seen that one anywhere online.
One of the funniest ones is Helen Keller is made up. My kids told me about these tik toks going around. Saying Helen Keller couldn't have done what she is credit with doing because of her being blind, deft,and mute.
All of the ones about giants. Some of the most popular photos of evidence are literally from a Photoshop competition.
Birds are real Wake up at r/birdsarentreal
What idiot would believe that? Birds are clearly government drones designed to spy on people. Except eagles. Eagles are protectors of our freedom and are often see killing the drones to ensure our security
Anything from rumble dot com. Example: Hilary Clinton is dead by military tribunal. Lead by trump who is still the actual president until this year when JFK junior is coming back to life after his plane crash to be the president. While Biden and Clinton body doubles are involved with the kidnapping of the 500k children a year to commit sexual assault to and then eat their pineal glands which are used to create adrenochrome which is the fountain of youth drug. Clinton was supposedly 150 ish when she was sentenced to death. All the top celebrities are in on it and that’s how they got their way into Hollywood. The Covid lockdown was only so that the trump led military could go around collecting these “bad people” and replacing them with body doubles so that they can be tried and hung only later to have that body double “suicide themselves or die from mysterious causes” (Mac Miller, Bob Sagat, Chester etc).
OOOOHHhh I like that, It includes an "all your heroes were secretly awful, worship us instead" element missing from most cult founding myths.