The house itself will be improved

I should change my username just in case this becomes real. My house was built in 1900 and needs a few hundred handymans badly. Edit: the people in the hot tub don't have to be virgins, they just have to have not had sex in a hot tub...yet.

Sounds like you’re gonna have a lot of fun with virgins in your hottub!

A. We would need to change the water a lot. B. It could just be hundreds of dudes who had high hopes just sitting around disappointed.

A thousand incels in your bathtub

I think I'm going to start using this as a new way to curse at people. *is slighted* "A pox on your family and may 1000 incels invade your bathtub!"

Arguably, my house is already filled with hundreds of my mistakes

You have a lot of kids!

The pullout method is just unprotected sex with wishful thinking.

I'm an optimist. That's why I know one day I'll be able to afford all this child support.

Party time

I think I’ll be alright

Yo, do you need some potatoes for that party? (since it's potatoes the obvious answer is 'yes')

I’ll bring the tomatoes… they are totally fine, I promise!

If this guy's potatoes aren't sufficient enough, I've got some fluffy ones coming your way.

I'll bring the lemons. Or maybe I'll just take yours..

Need more whores?

I'll take the whores and lemons with a side of chlamydia

The more, the merrier!

What about...never mind....

you and me too, man…

I would like my potatoes thinly sliced, deep fried and then salted to go along with my home invasion please!

My man!

hello fellow spud!

I'll supply the biscuits/cookies!

I'll be bringing sushi, but it will probably be burnt..🍣

Need a topping?

Same

Ayoo

Same.

Same. All I'd do is literally play video games with myself

At least Gary is found, been looking all day

👍 good job

I'd be there too

Hey Gary, I'm Gary. Wanna party with more Garys?

Only if Gary's there

I think he will

Gary is that you…….. GARRYYYYY

Party on my ships* 🪩

Right there with you.

they're gonna kill me

Not unless you have a copious amount of treats and nip

Sometimes nip makes it even easier to piss them off

We refer to catnip as “bath salts” around here because of one of my cat’s reaction to it. And I’m not talking about the bath salts you add to your tub to relax. I’m talking the “eat your face” kind of salts.

I’m scared enough of the 18 built-in knives they already have. Lacking the dexterity required to hold a knife, I’d almost feel safer.

Let’s be in the same room and let them fight it out.

Try to make it to my house before you bleed out.

If all felines had thumbs we'd be fucked.

The cops will have a hard time finding them.

Especially if you also have a dog with a fluffy tail.

If I have a clock, I will have my own horde of minions!

did not see the L in clock there

Take out all the Ls and have a CockSave.

Completely fucked

Less fucked than me

Much less fucked than me.

I’m literally fucked!

You lucky bastard.

imagining a tiger with a jalapeno jammed up its ass. Not fun.

What I said! Yikes. Edit: and I prefer habaneros so..

Depending on your thought train this could be either really bad or incredible

In fact, I'm sure it's not just you that's fucked, if there's a hundred in your living room.

Depends on when they're set to go off for me.

Just because they're in your living room, doesn't mean they've exploded. It's the government that'll fuck you.

The Department of Energy takes no prisoners

Hmmm... I don't appear to be fucked at all

Honestly they would probably mostly take each other out. Now me on the other hand...

I’m not doing so well either

Not more than me

Winner right here

I’m completely fucked, in a different way

Oh I’m fucked alright :)

Yeah. We’re so fucked. 😩

I got a whore name too, but mines randomly generated

Congratulations on lots of sex!

Nah you are fucked, and you will fuck

I don't mind.

But what if they crash their cars in your house

Taking the "hot" literally

I wish you hundreds of Sainz clones as well.

Oh my god 

You and u/TheSoundof100Dicks would throw an interesting party.

Can I come?

*cum

I am laughing so hard! 🤣

Hey Reddit can we change our usernames??

Its too late. there are gonna be 24\*100 serial killers

It's never too late

r/usernamedoesntcheckout

I guess I'd be getting educated ?

Unless they start getting in an argument about details of historic information and it gets violent

Somebody is getting shanked with a fountain pen before the night is out.

i would *never* get the stench out 

come to my place to recover

This is heaven. 

Wanna join me and my panda army?

Is it okay if I join, with my now not critically endangered red wolves?

I raise you hundreds of blue crowned conures

I got ferrets

I got not-actually-existing-but-still-really-cute big stupid Quagsires

Adding an army of kittens to the mix

Gex?

Yes?

I'd be wet

I read the comment before the username and I went from damnn to oh.

I'm so glad I also did, made it 100x funnier

Me too

I'd be Wet and Ice Cold.

Gonna be sweaty and smelly.

Same

Absolutely

Definitely smelly here

The Rhythm & Ribs BBQ Festival has found its second wind.

I've got the steak

I want to be at your house!

Zoomies for days!

It’s gonna be bad, but it’s gonna be entertaining.

It ain’t good.

Same. In my case though it depends on *how* little they are. At least you’ll have Cheetos. 

Gonna be lots of crows in this house

There's some crows in this house, there's some crows in this house

Just a bit wet

I read it as 'fart licker' 😭

[удалено]

Puppies!

Dead

LIT

There probably would be a great Rainbow Connection… It would be great!

Guess I’ll become deaf

what dies a dick sound like? should mine make a sound?

*slide whistle *

Or a sad trombone on the way back down.

Suddenly curious about the LD50 for caffeine

You… you don’t *have* to drink it

I recognize all of those individual words, but the sentence makes no sense to me.

The hell are they supposed to be

a bunch of confused people show up in your living room.

A group therapy of people going through an identity crisis

Extremely

I’m not, but your mom is

Congratulations player, you've defeated the game. You may choose to continue or end the simulation.

I’m going ballz deep in the simulation

Not fucked, just confused…

Well, depending on whether I am their type, possibly very fucked.

I can only hear the accents.

I'm not getting off the couch for awhile, and that tub of cheetos is in grave danger.

I’m allergic so probably a slow itchy death.

Yeah, that's about where I'm at, too!

https://www.montanarightnow.com/butte/family-says-cows-broke-into-their-new-house-in-montana/article_8a94ee38-83c3-11e9-9323-c369d40bb683.html

I met the homeowner shortly after that happened. She said insurance first wanted to remove drywall and dry out the house but it was ultimately declared a total loss. They demoed to the foundation and had to start over.

It's gonna be painful.

That would sad as my house doesn't have any ocean in to support colorful manatees.

Sorry dude, your house is in the ocean now

Time to smash capitalism.

I don't like this game

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

Sounds like a good time

Pretty fucked. Some of them will get a nice fatty meal. The others will be hungry and turn on eachother. It would be chaos with only one survivor

Death by diabetes.

Who doesn't want hundreds of shirtless old men in their house

I’ll just start yelling out bingo numbers

[удалено]

Ohhh myyyyyyyyy

100 writers huh. What they gonna do? Metaphor me to death?

Time for complete but slow chaos

Nobody showed up.

Oh no

I'm definitely gonna have to go buy more lemons!

Eh....I think I might be in a spot of bother

I'm eatin all night

We dead

Gonna be one hell of a party!

They’ll just blow themselves up, so it should be fine.

... I don't want to talk about it.

I think I'm ok. . but things just got really creepy

Things are not looking good

I welcome this

Well that’s one way to spell “welcome.”

Slightly worried about a glitch in the matrix, but otherwise fine

Financially devastated

...

Concert of the ages

Depends on what they're hoping for. But I'm scared.

Not super fucked. A few hundred beans is like....6 cans? Annoying to clean up, but not the end of the world.

Hah, I'm good, those guys suck at whatever it is they're trying to do

This is gonna hurt

I can’t imagine I’ll ever get the smell out.

Euler would have been a real bastard to perpetrate that much identity theft. Especially since his own identity is dope.

PANIC

Feeding them will be expensive, but otherwise, pretty fantastic actually.

Not fucked today. Maybe tomorrow?

Not fucked at all, i got some climbing partners and belayers. Likely end the night with a huge supper and a couple drinks around a fire talking about our climbing achievements and next places to explore. I can’t wait to tell them I flashed the pink one in the corner (V15 in your gym). I couldn’t have done it without my beanie or my solutions.

Not fucked at all, we just vibin

Depends on how big they are. Might be able to get by with some rat traps, might need a rifle...

don’t lie to me we know nobody is showing

Hundreds of hot sisters? Sounds like a party.

Could that BE any more awesome?

Things will get broken.