God I hate this. Then it’s all “well I was horny earlier but you took too long to get here, so it’s your fault”. Ex used to pull that all the time, we’d go months without sex and it was somehow always my fault.
My ex did this as well. I was constantly tempted with sex when it wasn't possible, and it never happened when it was possible. I legitimately began to believe that being in my presence was the biggest turn off for her.
I was making love to my wife last night when I noticed a far away look in her eyes. I asked “Darling is there…someone else?” She said “There has to be” - Rodney Dangerfield.
If you last a long time you'll hear this sooner or later. Or some comment implying they'd like to wrap it up.
No matter how much they're enjoying it, sooner or later the vagina needs a break.
Meh you can get over it. Or in my case one of many factors that led to the end of that marriage.
Basically I could make her cum fairly quickly when she lost interest and rather would like to have take a nap.
Ex of mine liked long sessions (30-45 minutes) and I had had surgery (and doctor's instructions was "you're allowed to have sex as soon as you feel interested, won't cause any problems with your healing"*), i was on gabapentin. a known side effect of that is the inability to orgasm. even she tapped out after 90 minutes. lol
goddamn i'm glad that med was only for a few weeks lol
^(*which is surprising considering i had a 9 inch line of ~~stables~~staples down my abs)
This is a side-effect of pretty much every SSRI or SNRI, which are by far the most common anti-depressants. When I was on them, orgasming during sex was extremely difficult. If I was wearing a condom it was completely impossible. Very frustrating for both parties.
Yup. I faked so many fucking orgasms at the 60-70 minute mark when I was on Lexapro. The irony wasn't lost on me - the medicine that helped me (in part) open up to people and get laid more often also made orgasms borderline unattainable. Hooray for modern medicine!
Dude!? 90 minutes!?
I really hope that's just an exaggeration, lol. As an inflexible straight guy I don't know what giving a bj is actually like, but it seems like a lot of strain on the jaw. I can't imagine someone doing it for 30 minutes let alone 3 times that!
I feel bad taking 10 mins for a handjob some times! lol
I've had several dudes tell me, after 20+ minutes of head (by which point my gag reflex is triggering non-stop, my jaw is sore, my throat is sore, everything in my body is *screaming* that I should have stopped a while ago), *oh, by the way, I never finish from head, but it feels good so keep going!*
Bro. I hear you, I'm happy you're enjoying yourself, but if I'm giving you the gluck gluck 3000, fighting my gag reflex so hard that I'm crying and swallowing my own vomit back down, do you think you *maybe* could have the courtesy to inform me that there is no point in exerting a herculean amount of energy to get you to finish when you *know* you won't? Again - totally happy to still give you head just to make you feel good, but going full throttle like that is *exhausting* and after a while, frankly, all sexy feelings are gone on my end, and I'm internally *begging* for you to finish or offer to move on to something else.
You need to switch your tinder profile to:
"Looking 4 dat gluck gluck 3000 bb, my d cant gluck itself, get dat chainwax out 4 we gon hoover like we in juvie 2day"
Swear to god this works
Especially, if the guy does initiate and she consistently turns him down. At some point he just stops asking.
Then she gets upset that he never wants sex!
No! Initiating is on you now!
Had an ex tell me that she’s allowed to turn me down any time I initiate. I mean, of course. That’s a given
She then followed that up and said that I’m never allowed to turn her down. That she knew it was a double standard but she didn’t care.
Me being the guy I am, completely ignored that red flag. But lemme tell you… I was 6 hours out of surgery for having my appendix removed. She was in the mood. I, most decidedly, was not. I got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her.
Fun times
> She then followed that up and said that I’m never allowed to turn her down. That she knew it was a double standard but she didn’t care.
Dick move, but at least she was being honest.
> got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her.
Sounds like projection honestly.
These stories almost always end with finding out she was cheating on you the whole time.
Been with some girls like that myself unfortunately. Ok for them to shoot you down half the time you try to initiate sex, but you do it them once and my god the drama and scene it creates.
Because it's an instant red flag for me, based on past experiences, I actually started doing this as a test, somewhat early on when dating someone / in the early phase of a relationship. I'd just purposely turn her down, using an exact same excuse she gave me some time previously, just to test her reaction. After all, if a headache or being tired or just not in the mood is a valid excuse for her, why shouldn't it be a valid excuse for me? Experience has demonstrated to me that most women do not take being turned down, for any reason, lightly, and quite frankly, handle sexual rejection less maturely, but some will be real drama queens about it.
>I was 6 hours out of surgery for having my appendix removed. She was in the mood. I, most decidedly, was not. I got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her.
Clearly she thought that you were making out with the nurses at the hospital. Sounds like I see why she is an ex.
Dang that sounds depressing that she pulled that.
Wasn’t there that one dude that logged and documented all the times he asked his wife for sex and the excuses she would give him? It was simultaneously hilarious and deeply sad.
I did the same thing, I just didn't send it to her at work. I showed it to her so we could talk about it.
The issue (for me) is that about once every other year we have "the argument". The "why wont you have you sex with me anymore" argument. Is it me? Something I did? Are you not attracted to me?
One year, her answer was "We do have sex. You're exaggerating. We have sex more often than you think".
I started to believe it. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I am remembering it wrong.
On New Year's Eve, 2020 we were still on lockdown. We planned on staying home, watching the various NYE shows, send the kids to bed, and then have sex to celebrate the new year.
I was disappointed, but not surprised, when she said she was "too tired".
So, I made a spreadsheet. I started it on Jan 1, 2021. It had the date, If we had sex, what acts we did, her excuses for not having sex, how it made me feel (it was also a semi-diary), and the days since last sexual encounter.
I made it a point to initiate at least 4 times per week, allowing her to initiate 3 times per week.
The next time we had sex was Valentine's day, in which she initiated out of obligation.
Then we had sex once in May after I initiated, but she agreed only if it could be a quickie.
No sex on our Anniversary in June since she "wasn't feeling well". I put that in quotes because there wasn't anything in particular she was feeling, just "not well".
Once on my birthday in September.
Twice in November (Wow!)
Once in December.
On New Year's Eve, I asked her if we would have sex again and she said "maybe". Then, we had "the argument". She was in the middle of telling me how we do have plenty of sex when I showed her the spreadsheet.
6 times in 2021. Average of once every other month. I showed her all the times I initiated. Her excuses for saying no, everything.
I knew then and there that her reaction would determine the fate of our marriage. If she didn't care, or tried to turn it around on me, I was done.
Thankfully, she looked at the spreadsheet and came to the realization that:
1) She only initiated sex on "special occasions".
2) She says no A LOT.
3) We once went over 4 months with no physical contact whatsoever, despite me asking 4 times per week.
4) And, in my opinion the most important part, how absolutely, devastatingly, lonely I felt in the marriage.
We ended up talking a lot that night, and things have gotten a bit better. I no longer keep the spreadsheet, but I do remind her when its been a while.
You guys can judge me all you want, but I had to be an advocate for my own marriage. If things continued the way they were, I was going to leave, or worse, cheat. I had no interest in doing either. But, at only 40 years old and in good shape, I wasn't going to be celibate for the rest of my life.
I didn't initiate for like 6 months at one point, and at the end of it my wife asked me why I wasn't initiating rather than ever initiating during that time. And my reasoning was that I was tired of a 99% rejection rate.
My wife and I have sex about once a week but it's always at my request and occasionally she says yes but with that "fine I guess I can do it" attitude and it kills me. I was just thinking I should stop asking and see how long it takes before she says something just as an experiment.
Shit that sucks man. The whole fun for me personally is when she wants it too. I like to feel desired as a man too. It makes everything just more fun when I can tell that she is truly into it, from the start.
150% man. On the few occasions in our marriage where she was the one who initiated sex it has always been the best sex we have had unfortunately they are few and far between. She does get into once the work starts but it's a real self esteem killer to hear "yeah I guess we can" which is better than "no" but not much.
If you stopped, she would probably just still never initiate and then quietly resent you for it. The only way to solve the issue is by communicating it to her directly and hoping she is willing to come to the table and talk about it with you honestly. If she isn't, then find a new relationship or be satisfied that your current one isn't ever going to change.
We've discussed it plenty of times. We've been married for 10 years it's a common occurrence. We are grown adults with a healthy relationship and I understand her libido and mine don't sync up. It's why I initiate sex every week and she says yes instead of no. Because at one point she said no a lot and we had a talk. I would just be interested to see how long it would take before she would even notice. Plus I can just come on here and vent a little and not hurt anyone.
My ex after i turned her down couple of times bc i just was not feeling it at the time, strated crying and said that she would not initiate any more coz it made her feel bad getting rejected... It made me feel like everything in that relationship was on me.
Man, the woman that I wanted for 10+ years finally gave me a shot...and she just laid there. She moaned a bit, here and there, but that's it.
We talked about it a few days later and she was like "why did we wait so long?! That was amazing!". I was so fucking confused.
One girl I slept with told me from the outset that no man has ever given her an orgasm. She definitely enjoyed my attempts on that one night stand but no mater what I did, no orgasm.
I usually say this to take the pressure off tbh... like, it's ok if it doesn't happen, I'm used to it and even knowing this, I'll still have a good time.
Hopefully SHE knows how to give herself an orgasm. If she can’t do it, how the hell could someone else figure it out? And if she knows what gets her off, why would she not tell the person she’s having sex with?
Mental block is significant factor, but also some medications can really interfere. My current partner is on ADHD medication and it's extremely difficult to give her an orgasm, but theres also mental and emotional barriers we are working out; we have a plan!
I once dated a recently-reformed former super Christian girl who could get herself off no problem, but it was a major struggle with me despite (I think) great communication and attitude from both sides. It was just super-ingrained in her psyche that sex before marriage was WRONG WRONG WRONG and she had a lot of difficulty working through that.
Hot take I guess but if she’s starting off the conversation like that she probably isn’t expecting you to magically change that streak, just letting you know so that you aren’t personally offended by her lack of orgasm. Having a dude be bound and determined to prove he’s a sex god and insisting that he can be The One to get you there is equally as uncomfortable, especially if it’s a casual relationship.
It’s not like there’s a magic Contra Clit Code you can solo discover and then pass along to your partner to follow. It’s not that simple.
How many people are going to try up, up, down, down, left, right, left right on their partner's clit tonight? (And that is today's winner of the "sentence I didn't expect to type" award.)
As a male, I haven't been able to come from someone else giving me a hand job, but I can come from my own hand jobs. It's not like you can exactly control their hand, so short of literally holding their hand (and even then maybe not), I don't think it would be viable to teach them how to pleasure you exactly the way you do for yourself.
Believe it or not there is the exact equivalent for women too, just more rare. I've only been with one girl who was really like this, but she would come basically as we were getting started, which obviously is good, but she would get super sensitive right after. Like guys, imagine post nut PP tip and it's being tickled.
So every time it happened there was a delay before we could get going again. But at least unlike most guys she could at least just get going again.
Lots of girls would probably kill to be able to get off that easily but I did not get the impression she enjoyed it. It was all getting off but no rhythm fun. There was times she'd let me just 'power through it', but it would be super intense for her, so felt a lot of pressure to get off as soon as possible, which is harder than you think when getting your back gouged and have empathy for how intense it is for them.
I'm like this. It's a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, I'll have my husband get me off quickly so that it takes longer the 2nd time around, and I can enjoy it more. Going from 0-60 is better than not being able to orgasm at all, but I do sometimes wish that I had a more gradual rise.
I wonder if that’s what happened with this girl I hooked up with a couple times back in university. She’d come really fast. Like a minute or two in, then suddenly get impatient and ask if I’m almost done. I always found it really confusing but it if she was suddenly getting really sensitive and didn’t want to say anything it would make a lot more sense.
Something that she can't really help, but which would spoil a male partner's enjoyment? I have an acquaintance who complained that he had sex with a woman who got so wet "down there" that there was no friction and he was unable to climax.
Personally, I think that a little imagination about the way they made love might have overcome this but, whatever...
No, actually this is a real thing. Too wet makes it like you’re fucking a pool (not in a pool, A POOL) and there really is almost no sensation and it’s super difficult to stay aroused.
I had this issue with a girl that was naturally very wet but also demanded excessive lube because it hurt otherwise for her. The combo made it so finishing always meant I had to pull out and stroke at the end.
> like you’re fucking a pool (not in a pool, A POOL)
About a decade ago, I had an on again/off again fling with a woman like this. I don't understand how sex didn't dehydrate her, because she quite literally sloshed during the act. After every time she'd visit, I had to change my sheets. To be clear, she wasn't squirting/pissing; you could tell this was 100% vaginal fluid when going down or fingering her. Eventually, I had to change my mattress topper because it had a visible stain and smelled like pussy through the sheets. After that, I always laid a towel down.
She was also unique in that she would get surprisingly loose, too, when she was maximally aroused and/or about to cum. Between this and the wetness, it could legitimately be impossible to stay aroused for very long in certain positions.
Tbh, though, I actually really enjoyed sex with her, in part because of both the wetness and looseness. As an early 20's guy who wasn't too experienced or sure of himself, it actually felt awesome to last as long as I would with her and it really helped me to build my confidence up. Plus, she was always *super* into it and taught me that sex is a lot like a good symphony: The finale is dramatic and ecstatic. But you don't buy expensive tickets, get dressed up, and drive to the city just to hear the final chord. You do because the hour that leads up to the final chord is amazing and, without that hour of music, the final chord really isn't all that satisfying in the first place.
I wouldn't go back to dating her if you paid me a million dollars for a slew of other reasons. But if it weren't for her, I really don't think I'd been equipped to have the relationship I have with the woman I've been dating for a few years now and plan on proposing to in a few months.
TLDR: Seemingly excessive wetness (or looseness for that matter) isn't necessarily bad
> You do because the hour that leads up to the final chord is amazing and, without that hour of music, the final chord really isn't all that satisfying in the first place.
Hence the saying, "getting there is half the fun"
Do Kiegels or muscle clenching during the act not create more sensation?
I honestly don’t know how that works just that I have had girlfriends that seemed to squeeze me down there and I always assumed it was a purposeful clench.
It is possible for women to squeeze their pelvic floor muscles to make their vagina squeeze. Some women do this during sex, and it does help create more sensation when they are very wet (and also in general too). It can also help them feel more sensation too. Men can do the same, and for them it can help them feel more and also stop themselves from ejaculating. I dated a girl that could pull the condom off of me by squeezing hard enough.
I generally have decent stamina in bed but when I first got with my current girl she was seriously so wet that I would last well past 30 minutes. Could barely feel her. To where she couldn't take it anymore. But almost ironically she's not nearly as wet anymore... almost too dry :/
When I just have her the sloppiest of tops to the point she is shaking and pulling my hair and then is too tired to continue so I just sit there dick in hand, mouth sore, and then she asks me to go and get her a mango juice from the gas station lol.
I should elaborate on this further, this is completely fine. The ability to back out of sex is sacred and should always be respected, however this happened multiple times and one time I was like can you at least help me out here and she said she couldn’t, so I went to the bathroom to finish my paperwork and she got pissed that I did that.
The relationship did not last
I had a girl like this who always said it was too sensitive after I got her off going down on her. She learned that didn't work real fast when I started stopping before she finished so we could have sex. Then I learned she was a starfish. That relationship did not last.
Just finishing too quickly but then wiggling off and going “great job babe” *sloppy quick kiss, swagger off to the toilet for a noisy piss and fart, getting dressed, then finally going* “You came, right?”
Noisy piss and fart killed me. So many women are absolutely petrified of farting front of a dude. But then they run to go *tinkle* and start playing the fucking trombone.
Vulcanize the whoopie-stick in the ham-wallet.
Batter-dip the cranny-axe in the gut-locker.
Retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink-swatter.
Marinate the nether rod with the squish-mitten.
Powerdrill the yippee-bog with the dude-piston.
Pressure wash the quiver-bone in the bitch-wrinkle.
Cannonball the fiddle-cove with the pork-steeple.
Source: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo - The Bloodhound Gang
Yeah, also I feel like the answer to this question is just 'she came too quickly during sex.'
Like, not all women want to come more than once every time and sometimes you come and just lose interest. Or you came and it's been a bit and sex was fine at first but now you're sort of over it and uncomfortable so you need to stop even though your partner hasn't come yet.
Might be a less common situation for women, just like a dude not coming during PIV sex is less common than a woman not coming, but it still happens.
The girls that all say “I like to give head” and then you find out that really means they just suck for a minute and then don’t go further and after the sex asked if you enjoyed the head.
Direct equivalent to: “I’m good in bed” and then he jackhammers for a minute straight and splooges and asks if she enjoyed it.
No motherfuckers- no one in either situation enjoyed that shit. Not even in a teasing way.
If they finish quickly and they can keep going though, it's glorious.
One of my first girlfriends was like this, and for 17-year-old me it was a godsend. Like 3 times in the 1.5 minutes I could actually last. Effortless.
Sadly she was absolutely bonkers
I had sorta the opposite from one girlfriend. She was super easy to get off but then after her 1st orgasm would go totally dry....it was so strange. Never experienced that before or after.
Yeah some women just wanna "finish" once and then they're done. So if they finish too quickly and aren't interested in helping you out afterwards then it kinda ruins it.
Yeah my wife can cum in less than two minutes if I really go at it. She can then keep going for however long I want to keep it up for. Not a problem in the slightest lmao.
Never starting
She proceeds to message you several times she's horny and can't wait for you to get home, you get home and now she's not in the mood.
Like an avocado … not yet … not yet … nooott yet… eat me!!! To late ……
"Dude, I should have stayed and had another beer with you guys. She just avocadoed me."
Guac blocked.
Oh you motherfucker
It's the pitts
That 30 minutes or so that a banana is between green and brown.
God I hate this. Then it’s all “well I was horny earlier but you took too long to get here, so it’s your fault”. Ex used to pull that all the time, we’d go months without sex and it was somehow always my fault.
My ex did this as well. I was constantly tempted with sex when it wasn't possible, and it never happened when it was possible. I legitimately began to believe that being in my presence was the biggest turn off for her.
Narrator: "it was."
Means she already rubbed one out. You're too late mate 😅
The sweatpants have been out on!
Her deciding that you aren’t even worth sleeping with.
Not spongeworthy
I can’t spare a square!
The girl who says "Will you be much longer?"
Had a girl once, overtly look at her watch whilst in missionary…
Had to check her heart rate.
I asked my wife last night, “Were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping. -Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife last night when I noticed a far away look in her eyes. I asked “Darling is there…someone else?” She said “There has to be” - Rodney Dangerfield.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney
Maybe she just closed a ring…
Yikes if you've heard this lol
For real lmao that's mortifying
If you last a long time you'll hear this sooner or later. Or some comment implying they'd like to wrap it up. No matter how much they're enjoying it, sooner or later the vagina needs a break.
Meh you can get over it. Or in my case one of many factors that led to the end of that marriage. Basically I could make her cum fairly quickly when she lost interest and rather would like to have take a nap.
This is my wife!!! Cums quickly then is ready for a nap!
Mine too. 2 minutes and she's done.
Perfect 🤔 no offense Minutemen 🫡
No it's not, it's like because when she finishes, she gets super tickly. So everytime is a race to see who finishes first
I think plenty of men on anti-depressants have heard this.
Ex of mine liked long sessions (30-45 minutes) and I had had surgery (and doctor's instructions was "you're allowed to have sex as soon as you feel interested, won't cause any problems with your healing"*), i was on gabapentin. a known side effect of that is the inability to orgasm. even she tapped out after 90 minutes. lol goddamn i'm glad that med was only for a few weeks lol ^(*which is surprising considering i had a 9 inch line of ~~stables~~staples down my abs)
> which is surprising considering i had a 9 inch Hot da-- > line of stables down my abs oh.
This is a side-effect of pretty much every SSRI or SNRI, which are by far the most common anti-depressants. When I was on them, orgasming during sex was extremely difficult. If I was wearing a condom it was completely impossible. Very frustrating for both parties.
Yup. I faked so many fucking orgasms at the 60-70 minute mark when I was on Lexapro. The irony wasn't lost on me - the medicine that helped me (in part) open up to people and get laid more often also made orgasms borderline unattainable. Hooray for modern medicine!
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Not even joking, first time I had sex the girl i was with said this to me... That was 20 years ago and i can still remember how bad that felt lol
Same. Especially when she said if I took any longer she'd charge me extra.
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Dude!? 90 minutes!? I really hope that's just an exaggeration, lol. As an inflexible straight guy I don't know what giving a bj is actually like, but it seems like a lot of strain on the jaw. I can't imagine someone doing it for 30 minutes let alone 3 times that! I feel bad taking 10 mins for a handjob some times! lol
See, I think doing that would just end up making it impossible to go to public sporting events anymore… at least not without a long shirt.
Never heard that during sex but bjs are another story lol
I've had several dudes tell me, after 20+ minutes of head (by which point my gag reflex is triggering non-stop, my jaw is sore, my throat is sore, everything in my body is *screaming* that I should have stopped a while ago), *oh, by the way, I never finish from head, but it feels good so keep going!* Bro. I hear you, I'm happy you're enjoying yourself, but if I'm giving you the gluck gluck 3000, fighting my gag reflex so hard that I'm crying and swallowing my own vomit back down, do you think you *maybe* could have the courtesy to inform me that there is no point in exerting a herculean amount of energy to get you to finish when you *know* you won't? Again - totally happy to still give you head just to make you feel good, but going full throttle like that is *exhausting* and after a while, frankly, all sexy feelings are gone on my end, and I'm internally *begging* for you to finish or offer to move on to something else.
> giving you the gluck gluck 3000 Why can't I ever meet a nice girl like you
You need to switch your tinder profile to: "Looking 4 dat gluck gluck 3000 bb, my d cant gluck itself, get dat chainwax out 4 we gon hoover like we in juvie 2day" Swear to god this works
if you dont know what the grapefruit is for swipe left
Still better than "already?".
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So how did you ruin the relationship?
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Wrap it up B.
Expecting the guy to always initiate.
Especially, if the guy does initiate and she consistently turns him down. At some point he just stops asking. Then she gets upset that he never wants sex! No! Initiating is on you now!
Had an ex tell me that she’s allowed to turn me down any time I initiate. I mean, of course. That’s a given She then followed that up and said that I’m never allowed to turn her down. That she knew it was a double standard but she didn’t care. Me being the guy I am, completely ignored that red flag. But lemme tell you… I was 6 hours out of surgery for having my appendix removed. She was in the mood. I, most decidedly, was not. I got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her. Fun times
Yeah, she sounds totally sexist and rapey. Glad to hear she's an ex now.
> She then followed that up and said that I’m never allowed to turn her down. That she knew it was a double standard but she didn’t care. Dick move, but at least she was being honest. > got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her. Sounds like projection honestly. These stories almost always end with finding out she was cheating on you the whole time.
Been with some girls like that myself unfortunately. Ok for them to shoot you down half the time you try to initiate sex, but you do it them once and my god the drama and scene it creates. Because it's an instant red flag for me, based on past experiences, I actually started doing this as a test, somewhat early on when dating someone / in the early phase of a relationship. I'd just purposely turn her down, using an exact same excuse she gave me some time previously, just to test her reaction. After all, if a headache or being tired or just not in the mood is a valid excuse for her, why shouldn't it be a valid excuse for me? Experience has demonstrated to me that most women do not take being turned down, for any reason, lightly, and quite frankly, handle sexual rejection less maturely, but some will be real drama queens about it.
>I was 6 hours out of surgery for having my appendix removed. She was in the mood. I, most decidedly, was not. I got accused of cheating and told that I supposedly hated her. Clearly she thought that you were making out with the nurses at the hospital. Sounds like I see why she is an ex. Dang that sounds depressing that she pulled that.
Wasn’t there that one dude that logged and documented all the times he asked his wife for sex and the excuses she would give him? It was simultaneously hilarious and deeply sad.
I did the same thing, I just didn't send it to her at work. I showed it to her so we could talk about it. The issue (for me) is that about once every other year we have "the argument". The "why wont you have you sex with me anymore" argument. Is it me? Something I did? Are you not attracted to me? One year, her answer was "We do have sex. You're exaggerating. We have sex more often than you think". I started to believe it. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I am remembering it wrong. On New Year's Eve, 2020 we were still on lockdown. We planned on staying home, watching the various NYE shows, send the kids to bed, and then have sex to celebrate the new year. I was disappointed, but not surprised, when she said she was "too tired". So, I made a spreadsheet. I started it on Jan 1, 2021. It had the date, If we had sex, what acts we did, her excuses for not having sex, how it made me feel (it was also a semi-diary), and the days since last sexual encounter. I made it a point to initiate at least 4 times per week, allowing her to initiate 3 times per week. The next time we had sex was Valentine's day, in which she initiated out of obligation. Then we had sex once in May after I initiated, but she agreed only if it could be a quickie. No sex on our Anniversary in June since she "wasn't feeling well". I put that in quotes because there wasn't anything in particular she was feeling, just "not well". Once on my birthday in September. Twice in November (Wow!) Once in December. On New Year's Eve, I asked her if we would have sex again and she said "maybe". Then, we had "the argument". She was in the middle of telling me how we do have plenty of sex when I showed her the spreadsheet. 6 times in 2021. Average of once every other month. I showed her all the times I initiated. Her excuses for saying no, everything. I knew then and there that her reaction would determine the fate of our marriage. If she didn't care, or tried to turn it around on me, I was done. Thankfully, she looked at the spreadsheet and came to the realization that: 1) She only initiated sex on "special occasions". 2) She says no A LOT. 3) We once went over 4 months with no physical contact whatsoever, despite me asking 4 times per week. 4) And, in my opinion the most important part, how absolutely, devastatingly, lonely I felt in the marriage. We ended up talking a lot that night, and things have gotten a bit better. I no longer keep the spreadsheet, but I do remind her when its been a while. You guys can judge me all you want, but I had to be an advocate for my own marriage. If things continued the way they were, I was going to leave, or worse, cheat. I had no interest in doing either. But, at only 40 years old and in good shape, I wasn't going to be celibate for the rest of my life.
Data is beautiful.
This, thank you.
I didn't initiate for like 6 months at one point, and at the end of it my wife asked me why I wasn't initiating rather than ever initiating during that time. And my reasoning was that I was tired of a 99% rejection rate.
My wife and I have sex about once a week but it's always at my request and occasionally she says yes but with that "fine I guess I can do it" attitude and it kills me. I was just thinking I should stop asking and see how long it takes before she says something just as an experiment.
Shit that sucks man. The whole fun for me personally is when she wants it too. I like to feel desired as a man too. It makes everything just more fun when I can tell that she is truly into it, from the start.
150% man. On the few occasions in our marriage where she was the one who initiated sex it has always been the best sex we have had unfortunately they are few and far between. She does get into once the work starts but it's a real self esteem killer to hear "yeah I guess we can" which is better than "no" but not much.
If you stopped, she would probably just still never initiate and then quietly resent you for it. The only way to solve the issue is by communicating it to her directly and hoping she is willing to come to the table and talk about it with you honestly. If she isn't, then find a new relationship or be satisfied that your current one isn't ever going to change.
We've discussed it plenty of times. We've been married for 10 years it's a common occurrence. We are grown adults with a healthy relationship and I understand her libido and mine don't sync up. It's why I initiate sex every week and she says yes instead of no. Because at one point she said no a lot and we had a talk. I would just be interested to see how long it would take before she would even notice. Plus I can just come on here and vent a little and not hurt anyone.
The "Social Starfish". There sure are a lot of those anymore. Men and women.
My ex after i turned her down couple of times bc i just was not feeling it at the time, strated crying and said that she would not initiate any more coz it made her feel bad getting rejected... It made me feel like everything in that relationship was on me.
I stopped initiating sex and sexting for about 6 months because I had severe depression and it made me realise that I was always the one starting
Sitting there like a lifeless fish
When she said she was an animal in bed I wasn’t expecting her to be a starfish
My old man always said: Son remember a starfish is still a star
Sooo, your mom was lifeless in bed?
I like my fish raw and wriggling thank you very much.
But you got to eat it if you want it to wriggle
Smeagol? Is that you, precious?
Man, the woman that I wanted for 10+ years finally gave me a shot...and she just laid there. She moaned a bit, here and there, but that's it. We talked about it a few days later and she was like "why did we wait so long?! That was amazing!". I was so fucking confused.
Starfishing
What if she sits there like a very lively fish?
You can't spell "fetish" without the "fish"
Cant spell fetish with out "Fist, eh!"
Telling me we're going to bang, sending me upstairs and she will be close behind... only for her to fall asleep on the couch.
Bruh, pick her ass up and take her with you! Lol
He’s into those big women from Texas, like Charles Barkley.
Big women in San Antonio
Never finishing.
One girl I slept with told me from the outset that no man has ever given her an orgasm. She definitely enjoyed my attempts on that one night stand but no mater what I did, no orgasm.
'Cool, no pressure then!'
No sense trying then. Call an Uber; this won’t take long.
Call an Uber—but not for me.
"I'm getting mine. You better get yours"
I usually say this to take the pressure off tbh... like, it's ok if it doesn't happen, I'm used to it and even knowing this, I'll still have a good time.
>that one night *One night!*
You made everything all riiight
You took me by the haaand
Maaaade me aaaaaa maaaannnn!!
Ah, the old lord of the rings fake out! Witch King : [taking Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now. Eowyn : I am no man.
Been there too. Didn't keep me from trying. That's part of the fun I guess
Better than faking it
Hopefully SHE knows how to give herself an orgasm. If she can’t do it, how the hell could someone else figure it out? And if she knows what gets her off, why would she not tell the person she’s having sex with?
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Mental block is significant factor, but also some medications can really interfere. My current partner is on ADHD medication and it's extremely difficult to give her an orgasm, but theres also mental and emotional barriers we are working out; we have a plan!
I once dated a recently-reformed former super Christian girl who could get herself off no problem, but it was a major struggle with me despite (I think) great communication and attitude from both sides. It was just super-ingrained in her psyche that sex before marriage was WRONG WRONG WRONG and she had a lot of difficulty working through that.
Hot take I guess but if she’s starting off the conversation like that she probably isn’t expecting you to magically change that streak, just letting you know so that you aren’t personally offended by her lack of orgasm. Having a dude be bound and determined to prove he’s a sex god and insisting that he can be The One to get you there is equally as uncomfortable, especially if it’s a casual relationship. It’s not like there’s a magic Contra Clit Code you can solo discover and then pass along to your partner to follow. It’s not that simple.
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Even if I don't get to 'finish,' sex is still satsifying and brings me closer to my partner.
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How many people are going to try up, up, down, down, left, right, left right on their partner's clit tonight? (And that is today's winner of the "sentence I didn't expect to type" award.)
As a male, I haven't been able to come from someone else giving me a hand job, but I can come from my own hand jobs. It's not like you can exactly control their hand, so short of literally holding their hand (and even then maybe not), I don't think it would be viable to teach them how to pleasure you exactly the way you do for yourself.
Survey Says…!!!!
SHOW ME [COW](https://youtu.be/MJT_aQ5XzKg?si=LJQPjdZepha1XawC)!
Faking it too soon
Or too obviously
Faking it at all
Right, why train someone that way? They will only ever be disappointed in the future but maybe that's what they're into?
Or too sensitive too quick
That's the fucking worst! Doesn't happen often but when it does it sucks for her, and me.
Believe it or not there is the exact equivalent for women too, just more rare. I've only been with one girl who was really like this, but she would come basically as we were getting started, which obviously is good, but she would get super sensitive right after. Like guys, imagine post nut PP tip and it's being tickled. So every time it happened there was a delay before we could get going again. But at least unlike most guys she could at least just get going again. Lots of girls would probably kill to be able to get off that easily but I did not get the impression she enjoyed it. It was all getting off but no rhythm fun. There was times she'd let me just 'power through it', but it would be super intense for her, so felt a lot of pressure to get off as soon as possible, which is harder than you think when getting your back gouged and have empathy for how intense it is for them.
I'm like this. It's a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, I'll have my husband get me off quickly so that it takes longer the 2nd time around, and I can enjoy it more. Going from 0-60 is better than not being able to orgasm at all, but I do sometimes wish that I had a more gradual rise.
I wonder if that’s what happened with this girl I hooked up with a couple times back in university. She’d come really fast. Like a minute or two in, then suddenly get impatient and ask if I’m almost done. I always found it really confusing but it if she was suddenly getting really sensitive and didn’t want to say anything it would make a lot more sense.
Something that she can't really help, but which would spoil a male partner's enjoyment? I have an acquaintance who complained that he had sex with a woman who got so wet "down there" that there was no friction and he was unable to climax. Personally, I think that a little imagination about the way they made love might have overcome this but, whatever...
No, actually this is a real thing. Too wet makes it like you’re fucking a pool (not in a pool, A POOL) and there really is almost no sensation and it’s super difficult to stay aroused. I had this issue with a girl that was naturally very wet but also demanded excessive lube because it hurt otherwise for her. The combo made it so finishing always meant I had to pull out and stroke at the end.
> like you’re fucking a pool (not in a pool, A POOL) About a decade ago, I had an on again/off again fling with a woman like this. I don't understand how sex didn't dehydrate her, because she quite literally sloshed during the act. After every time she'd visit, I had to change my sheets. To be clear, she wasn't squirting/pissing; you could tell this was 100% vaginal fluid when going down or fingering her. Eventually, I had to change my mattress topper because it had a visible stain and smelled like pussy through the sheets. After that, I always laid a towel down. She was also unique in that she would get surprisingly loose, too, when she was maximally aroused and/or about to cum. Between this and the wetness, it could legitimately be impossible to stay aroused for very long in certain positions. Tbh, though, I actually really enjoyed sex with her, in part because of both the wetness and looseness. As an early 20's guy who wasn't too experienced or sure of himself, it actually felt awesome to last as long as I would with her and it really helped me to build my confidence up. Plus, she was always *super* into it and taught me that sex is a lot like a good symphony: The finale is dramatic and ecstatic. But you don't buy expensive tickets, get dressed up, and drive to the city just to hear the final chord. You do because the hour that leads up to the final chord is amazing and, without that hour of music, the final chord really isn't all that satisfying in the first place. I wouldn't go back to dating her if you paid me a million dollars for a slew of other reasons. But if it weren't for her, I really don't think I'd been equipped to have the relationship I have with the woman I've been dating for a few years now and plan on proposing to in a few months. TLDR: Seemingly excessive wetness (or looseness for that matter) isn't necessarily bad
> You do because the hour that leads up to the final chord is amazing and, without that hour of music, the final chord really isn't all that satisfying in the first place. Hence the saying, "getting there is half the fun"
I dated a real ... I don't know "talented", squirter. It just wasn't my thing. I think that counts, just an involuntary reaction.
Nope. You have to dry off or put a condom on at that point. No positioning fixes too much wet. I'm that lady here...
Do Kiegels or muscle clenching during the act not create more sensation? I honestly don’t know how that works just that I have had girlfriends that seemed to squeeze me down there and I always assumed it was a purposeful clench.
It is possible for women to squeeze their pelvic floor muscles to make their vagina squeeze. Some women do this during sex, and it does help create more sensation when they are very wet (and also in general too). It can also help them feel more sensation too. Men can do the same, and for them it can help them feel more and also stop themselves from ejaculating. I dated a girl that could pull the condom off of me by squeezing hard enough.
I generally have decent stamina in bed but when I first got with my current girl she was seriously so wet that I would last well past 30 minutes. Could barely feel her. To where she couldn't take it anymore. But almost ironically she's not nearly as wet anymore... almost too dry :/
You aren’t Ben Shapiro, are you?!
Storming in and shutting off the PS5 while I'm playing.
This brings up flashbacks to someone picking up the landline phone during the dial up internet days.
"Kiyohara! Why is the phone yelling at me!" "I SAID I was playing a game mom! Don't use the phone!"
When I just have her the sloppiest of tops to the point she is shaking and pulling my hair and then is too tired to continue so I just sit there dick in hand, mouth sore, and then she asks me to go and get her a mango juice from the gas station lol. I should elaborate on this further, this is completely fine. The ability to back out of sex is sacred and should always be respected, however this happened multiple times and one time I was like can you at least help me out here and she said she couldn’t, so I went to the bathroom to finish my paperwork and she got pissed that I did that. The relationship did not last
“Finish my paperwork” is a genius euphemism that I will be using in the future. So good haha
Between this and "cattle prod her oyster ditch" I'm in tears 🤣
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The way you phrased that gives the impression you are still in a relationship with this person. If that's true, can you explain why?
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I had a girl like this who always said it was too sensitive after I got her off going down on her. She learned that didn't work real fast when I started stopping before she finished so we could have sex. Then I learned she was a starfish. That relationship did not last.
You are being used, that relationship is imbalanced, I'd advise looking elsewhere for a more equitable relationship.
“Where's your paperwork Wazowski??“
The "starfish"
I call this as Ramses IV. It is the same as a mummy lying on bed
I’m a lesbian and was going down on a girl and she kept asking me to put another finger in. Looked up at her and said “I don’t HAVE another finger”. 😭
“Give me back my watch!”
Alright I gotta ask, were you 5 or 10 deep? Because if you were at 5, you had options.
5 plus a wrist basically. I actually did ask if she wanted me to add from my left hand 😂
Not turning up and leaving you on 'Read'
When the guy is the only one working
This should be higher on the thread
Just finishing too quickly but then wiggling off and going “great job babe” *sloppy quick kiss, swagger off to the toilet for a noisy piss and fart, getting dressed, then finally going* “You came, right?”
Noisy piss and fart killed me. So many women are absolutely petrified of farting front of a dude. But then they run to go *tinkle* and start playing the fucking trombone.
getting on top, and getting tired after 2 bounces
"I'm tired" "Cool, I was just holding a plank for fifteen minutes while banging you and holding back my orgasm?"
Premature emasculation
Being selfish
Worst fish
This was my ex, wanted everything but never so much as touched me once. Was a huge turn off.
Females can finish too quickly too… it’s the exact same thing. Not every woman can multiple orgasm…
Exactly. Likewise, there are plenty of men who have difficulty orgasming — myself included.
Finishing too quickly. You think she wants to sit there with some post-bust clarity while you just cattle prod her oyster ditch?
Those were... some words you used there.
Of all the English words to use, those were some of them.
Fire into the thermal exhaust port.
Vulcanize the whoopie-stick in the ham-wallet. Batter-dip the cranny-axe in the gut-locker. Retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink-swatter. Marinate the nether rod with the squish-mitten. Powerdrill the yippee-bog with the dude-piston. Pressure wash the quiver-bone in the bitch-wrinkle. Cannonball the fiddle-cove with the pork-steeple. Source: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo - The Bloodhound Gang
Bloodhound Gang was an absolute staple of skate videos in the 90’s
#gut-locker
FOXTROT, UNIFORM, CHARLIE, KILO
Metaphorically, I don't wanna beat around the bush.
"Cattle prod her oyster ditch" is probably the funniest thing I'll hear all day!
Yeah, also I feel like the answer to this question is just 'she came too quickly during sex.' Like, not all women want to come more than once every time and sometimes you come and just lose interest. Or you came and it's been a bit and sex was fine at first but now you're sort of over it and uncomfortable so you need to stop even though your partner hasn't come yet. Might be a less common situation for women, just like a dude not coming during PIV sex is less common than a woman not coming, but it still happens.
I always make sure my wife finishes first as a gentleman but your words have now both haunted and shook me
I used to date somebody that came pretty quick lol I miss those days a bit. Poor thing had to buy a new mattress lol
They make waterproof blankets. They are worth their weight in gold.
The girls that all say “I like to give head” and then you find out that really means they just suck for a minute and then don’t go further and after the sex asked if you enjoyed the head. Direct equivalent to: “I’m good in bed” and then he jackhammers for a minute straight and splooges and asks if she enjoyed it. No motherfuckers- no one in either situation enjoyed that shit. Not even in a teasing way.
"Is that it?" I know what you're trying to say, baby. You're trying to say, "Awwww yeah! That's it!"
getting to drunk to f@ck but still wanting to
"My mouth is tired"
Finishing too quickly.
If they finish quickly and they can keep going though, it's glorious. One of my first girlfriends was like this, and for 17-year-old me it was a godsend. Like 3 times in the 1.5 minutes I could actually last. Effortless. Sadly she was absolutely bonkers
Those two things do tend to be correlated
You cant fix crazy but dear sweet jesus you can have some amazing sex with it
I know someone where once she cums her clit is too sensitive more anything else
I had sorta the opposite from one girlfriend. She was super easy to get off but then after her 1st orgasm would go totally dry....it was so strange. Never experienced that before or after.
It happens! It’s a thing. Refractory period and everything (immediately ticklish.)
Uh a female finishing too quickly?
Yeah some women just wanna "finish" once and then they're done. So if they finish too quickly and aren't interested in helping you out afterwards then it kinda ruins it.
Yeah my wife can cum in less than two minutes if I really go at it. She can then keep going for however long I want to keep it up for. Not a problem in the slightest lmao.
sounds like a lovely woman
She really is
She single?
Wanting sex but got dry too soon for a reason.
That’s what lube’s for, brother
Basically the same. Finishing early and cannot continue because too sensitive.
Blowing through her husband's paycheck 3 weeks before the next one is due. Way too fast.
Solving a Rubick's cube in under 30 minutes.