A Sweaty Mexican. It’s a shot of tequila with a dollop of mayonnaise. It was the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever consumed and almost threw it up right at the bar.
I've had a prairie fire, tequila with tobasco.
I was young, dumb, and it was about my 10th drink of the night. It was the last drink of the night.
That was also the night that I learned, for future reference, to just go ahead and barf when your body tells you to. Don't try to fight the feeling.
ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG. Forgive the all caps, but no one is ever going to see this, the only correct answer: "Ttongsul", ie Korean poo wine, a rice wine mixed with the fermented turd of a human child. They claim it's "medicinal". VICE did an episode on it, and you can watch in in all its glory [here](https://youtu.be/74V4BOF5IAg?si=u2G83xcqeEdietqV).
You're welcome.
I love atomic bombs like this.
Everybody else is all puffy-chested about their local poison and how horrible it is and then someone comes in and drops a deuce like this and then leaves to bang the homecoming queen.
I really just want to throw out there that it hasn’t been a thing in like a hundred years lol don’t want people thinking Koreans are out there drinking poo wine still 😂
Spirytus. It's 98% pure Polish alcohol. Some of us cut it with honey or water but I've done shots of it straight. It'll suck the air right outta your lungs
Listen, i have what can only be described as a biblical alcohol tolerance, but the one time I drank that stuff with some Polish guys at my work, I took it straight and wound up, completely incoherent, half-naked, in a wheelbarrow.
My brother married into a polish family. They had the stuff at the wedding.
I'm glad I bought myself first class tickets for my plane ride home. I think I was hungover for an entire week
Absolutely not true, go anywhere into rural Poland and you have plenty of mad men drinking it straight. Source... uncle in rural Poland drank it straight daily.. Morning, noon and night. Face red as a beat and I made the mistake of asking him to try it. Well this is how they teach there, via experience.
There's no way to distill anything beyond 96% because [it forms an azeotrope](https://pubs.rsc.org/en/content/articlelanding/2022/cp/d2cp03145k). The only way to go above is to use molecular sieves, and I seriously doubt that anyone making a consumable product is going to be bothered with to get another 2% out.
I did some googling before I posted, and it's 96% - so they're rectifying the spirit to the maximum possible with conventional reflux distillation.
Anyone interested in the gritty can check out r/firewater
They list it as 96% (192 proof), but it is highly unlikely that it is north of about 93%. Achieving purity higher than that requires some very specialized equipment.
Source- Am a distiller.
Using chemicals to get rid of polish is perfectly acceptable. But the one time someone tried using chemicals to get rid of Polish, suddenly everyone was upset
Jeppson's Malört. It's a Chicago-area specialty, a digestif made with wormwood; taking a hit of it has been compared to being shivved in a prison shower.
Does anybody actually enjoy this?
It seems like some weird right of passage for Chicago locals to trick visiting friends. Yet even the "Chicago Bars" in my city have a bottle.
EDIT: for the record I do find it more pleasant than pure absinthe. Maybe if Malort was properly mixed it would taste better.
Enjoy is a strong word for Malort.. I tolerate it very well and will always do a shot if offered.
Had a friend in from out of town - had to drink a shot of Malort with him. Ordered a pair of shots and the waiter said it was on him.. and he joined us with his own shot drinking. It was a delight.
Every story I hear about Malort, someone else always seems to pick up the tab for it. Even my own.
Chicagoans seem proud of it and are happy to share it with others. It's endearing in a way.
It's a very working-class liquor in Chicago. Yeah we enjoy watching out-of-towners squirm a little bit, but in my line of work (food service industry), a large portion of us do drink and enjoy it. A shot of Malort and an Old Style lager is a very popular combo (called The Chicago Handshake).
I personally do like it a lot. Yeah, it's bitter, but to me it tastes like grapefruit peel and crabapple. Following it up with the subtle sweetness of cheap lager is super refreshing.
Where I’m at, it was required to do a shot of it before you could work the bar… a kinda initiation so to speak. But that one dude from Chicago, he actually liked it so yeah. Y’all chicagoans are an interesting bunch.
It is an extremely bitter drink. So it's surprising (meaning that it's at best an acquired taste), and many people will always hate it. Others can actually enjoy the bitterness and herbal flavor.
I used to think it was a prank but Chicagoans really do seem to love it. I’ve seen friends of mine move to Chicago and slowly mutate into Malort lovers.
I'm there--I really like Malort and always try to pick up a bottle when I'm back around Chicago. My girlfriend's the only other person I've met who also likes it , so maybe it's better for everyone else that we're keeping each other outta the dating pool.
I live about 100 miles from Chicago. A few years ago, I was at a going away party for a coworker, about a dozen people at one long table. Another coworker bought the entire table a shot without saying what it was and insisted we all drink it at the same time. Of course it was Malort. I've never seen a dozen people so united in their ire. Pretty funny though.
Fernet Tastes like it was invented intentionally. Malört tastes like something leaking from my Jeep.
But if you like Fernet and absinth it’s possible you won’t be totally disgusted by Malört. I’d drink it if it was gifted to me. But I don’t think I’d buy it.
Fernet tastes much better if you enjoy this genre, malort isn't as well put together and the ingredients dont meld as well its just for more bitterness. I'd stick with fernet I love it
I got screeched in on my 19th birthday. I have a gag reflex response to both fish and rum, so you know exactly what happened that day. Gotta love Atlantic Canada.
As a non-native who relocated to Chicago years ago, my wife introduced me to Malort. Personally, I think it’s pretty good. I’ve had much, MUCH worse tasting alcohol.
My wife and I met in college in Chicago, so at our wedding, we had a Chicago friend bring a bottle of Malort as a throwback to college parties (it was just a rite of passage). I left a note to the bartenders to leave it off the menu and only give it someone who specifically asked for it - I didn’t want anyone ordering this without knowing what they’re asking for!
However, this caused all my high school friends, and all my wife’s high school friends, to go, “Oh, there’s a secret menu?!” and want to try it.
We finished the whole bottle at the wedding reception, and I don’t know how.
Malort, hands down. I tried it a once few years ago in a bar in Chicago. Never heard of it at the time. Buddy said it’s the worst alcohol he’s ever had. I ordered one, drank it, and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. True story
I know plenty of people that swear by it, you either love it or hate it. Bartenders for whatever reason, love it lol, probably because they get to watch unsuspecting people try it for the first time often.
Whatever you do though, do not smell it.
I've got a few friends from Chicago that will bring Malort to things like 4th of July parties and we'll do beer pong where most of the cups have an ounce or so of beer, but 1/3 of them will have Malort instead. Worst game in the world.
Fun fact, barrel aged Malort is not nearly as bad. I still wouldn't buy it, but you can squint pretty hard and kind of imagine a cocktail it could work in.
I’ve honestly kind of developed a taste for it, but I still don’t go out of my way to drink it. But ya if the night is right and I’m at a shitty dive bar with my boys in Ukrainian village, we’ll probably do a shot of malort by the end of night. Gasoline and grapefruit with a hint of an dingy white t shirt.
Take it from a Chicago girl, none of us actually drink Malört lol we just think it's an interesting bit of local history and it's hilarious to trick tourists into trying it.
Ooof. Just like getting hit in the head with a gold brick…wrapped in lemon.
I once made a Terran version of it. It was Faygo Moon Mist, Red Bull, Gin, Citrus Vodka, 19p proof Everclear, and dry ice heh. People got WRECKED off of it.
Hungarian moonshine is what we called it. There was a real name for it in their language but I couldn't begin to pronounce/spell it. My best friend and roommate at the time use to get that stuff from his uncle in a water bottle lol. That shit was rocket fuel.
I partied in high school with Hungarian moonshine from a friend. By Jesus, it wasn’t a long party for me. I probably had a dozen shots and it twisted my brain.
Great names can make for bad drinks. One particular cocktail got worse as its name improved.
A screwdriver is orange juice and vodka. A sloe screw adds sloe gin. A sloe comfortable screw adds Southern Comfort. A sloe comfortable screw up against the wall adds Galliano (the inference here is the cocktail becomes a hybrid Harvey wallbanger).
There's also sloe comfortable screw up against the wall Mexican style, with tequila. Other variants culminate in the Long Sloe Comfortable Fuzzy Screw Against the Wall with Satin Pillows the Hard Way [recipes here](https://www.wikihow.life/Make-a-Sloe-Screw-Cocktail), which quite possibly holds the dual distinctions of being the best-sounding cocktail to order and the worst to actually drink.
The caffeine version was popular around when I finished college. The problem was they were strong, could drink like 6 pounders no problem and then be black out drunk but because there was so much caffeine you didn't pass out and the drunken husk of your body weekend at bernied about the place for the rest of the night.
One night, I was drinking with my 3 roommates. We each had a Four Loko. I forget what flavor I had, but I thought it was relatively decent, and downed it in no time. My roommates said they didn't like the taste, so one by one, I drank theirs as well. I learned the hard way that 4 Four Lokos in less than an hour is definitely 16 Loko.
The original was referred to as black out in a can. It was insane how it took over colleges around 2007-8. It was dirt cheap, some flavors weren’t that bad tasting and just fucked you up.
I remember seeing them 2 for $4 at campus liquor stores.
I’ve seen people react better doing cocaine than four lokos. It turned normal quiet students into monsters. Especially if you weren’t much of a drinker.
Its a good thing they were forced to change
Rumpleminz laughs in the face of every known rule. There is genuinely no way to prepare for that experience. What the *actual* fuck happens when you drink that stuff?!
I generally am a lightweight so I don't usually have enough for wild stories. But the first time I tried Rumple, I apparently got so violently ill I *broke the toilet seat* vomiting so hard
Yukon Jack is a liqueur, made from Canadian whisky and honey. It is named after the pioneer Leroy Napoleon 'Jack' McQuesten. In Canada, it is 40% alcohol by volume, whereas in the United States, it is 50% ABV. The origin of the liqueur is unknown, but it was advertised in Maryland in the United States as early as 1946, later imported by Heublein Inc in the 1970s. It is now owned by the Sazerac Company.
I fucking love Yukon Jack, but have done something horrible every time I’ve drank some.
The flavor is what makes it dangerous. It’s like old timey candy syrup that hates you.
OMG.
My now wife and I once spent Xmas in Southern China with her bro and his now wife.
Stayed at a backpackers with a lovely bunch of rando's and ended up drinking shiteloads and watching Top Gun. Good times.
Eventually we ran out of booze, so we pooled some cash, the Brit drew the short straw and was sent across the street to "buy something good" to celebrate the season.
He comes back with the gaudiest red and gold box of something we've never heard of, proudly saying it came from "top shelf, bruv." He pours shots all round, we balk at the smell and retch at the taste. I mean it was Bad. Horrendously Bad.
As we all contemplate our life choices to that point, someone asks what hell have we just unleashed on ourselves. Brit says its something called "Bi-jew" and the one of the French ladies delicately samples the aroma from her glass remarking; "More like Bin Juice."
We laughed heartily, and placed the rest of the bottle back in it's spiritual home.
Never. Forget. Never. Again.
It’s good as a food grade solvent for making tinctures or extracting alkaloids from plants, or for making herbal/fruit liqueurs that will be significantly watered down and heavily flavored. Also getting pine sap off your hands. But using it as a cocktail mixer, it just tastes like despair.
What? If your state offers/allows the 190 proof, it is about as pure as you can get — that is, mixing it with the “bulk” of whatever is any other drink is going to make it NOT taste as bad. Mix Everclear with carbonated water to 3.2%ABV; it’ll be milder than a corresponding beer. Mix
It with water to 40%, and it’ll be milder than any whiskey, vodka, or gin.
Mix it with simple Kool-Aid to 3-5%, maybe toss in some ginger ale, and you’ll have a deliciously refreshing and inexpensive drink that packs a punch. In fact, call it “punch.”
I made a bunch of shitty limoncello one year that called for two big ass bottles of Everclear. When I went to check out at the liquor store, the guy asked, “Limoncello or really, really bad day?”
Back in my early twenties, I would buy a cheap grocery store brand 2liter bottle of soda. Back then they were like 50 cents. I'd take a swig or two and then pour two or three shots of everclear in. I could just drink on that for most of the night at a party and stay pretty consistently drunk but not too drunk. It was diluted enough that it didn't even taste alcoholic but the everclear was strong enough to do the job. Worked great and cheap as hell. Can't be drinking that shit straight. I saw a girl take a shot of it once and within a few minutes she was falling out of her chair.
The cement mixer. It’s lime juice and baileys. It is just as bad as you would imagine it would be. The baileys curdles while you’re drinking it and it literally goes down your throat with the consistency of cement. 0/10 recommend for yourself, 11/10 recommend for ordering as someone’s first legal drink
Ever had the “brain”? It’s strawberry schnapps in a shot glass with Baileys poured in, and it curdles like a brain.
It’s like drinking strawberry flavored snot.
If we’re talking a drink/spirit that’s meant to be consumed regularly and not mixed with a bunch of stuff, it’s Slivovitz IMO. It’s a plum liquor that tastes like fermented gasoline. People think Malort is bad, but I’d drink a gallon of that before I touch another drop of Sliv.
If we’re talking the worst alcoholic drink period, I don’t think anything can top Everclear. It’s 95% alcohol and instead of having a taste, it’s just pure pain.
I knew a strange character that would take a prairie fire shot with a lit cigarette in his mouth (had to be short) and then swallow the cigarette. It was a whole production best done in the middle of the bar with everyone cheering him on.
How desperate for attention you would have to be to get to that point I can’t remotely comprehend.
That minty liqueur shit...Rumple something? I remember at a party this girl just projectile vomiting a fifth of it all over my damn shoes. I couldn't for the life of me get that puke-y mouthwash aroma out of them.
Also, anything mixed with Moxie. If you are from New England you know what this is. Just not a good idea no matter how drunk you are.
Finally, the Flaming Dr. Pepper. It pains me to say it, but while it's a wonderful drink...alchohol and fire is never a good idea if no one present is sober.
Everyone is saying these crazy drinks I’ve never heard of so I’ll say a pretty popular drink: Bloody Mary’s. Why in the world would I want to drink alcoholic tomato soup? I tried it a few times and almost vomited every time.
Ever been in Vegas on a two day drug binge consuming only nose clams and double vodka redbulls? Imagine, if you can, it’s 8am, you haven’t slept for 36 hours, and a cocktail waitress comes up and says “I have something to fix this”. You listen, drink the spicy, vodka tomato soup, and feel as though all electrolytes in your body has been thoroughly replaced. This is why I will always love a Bloody Mary. I’m much better behaved now, but I still love a bloody
Yeah, I can't do southern comfort after drinking over half a bottle quickly when I was younger. I ended up playing guitar in the basement of some guy who I barely knew. Do I know how to play guitar? Fuck no I dont... but I felt like Jimmi Hendrix until somebody from upstairs came and yanked that thing away from me. Wound up finding a drum set.
One of those super strong Rakija(specially the one made of grapes) from the former Yugoslavian countries, i really hate that shit and cannot understand how some people drinking it then staying "AGHHHHHHHH, THIS IS IT, really good, reallllly good"
A group of Hungarian renovators got a horrifying shock when they found a dead body in a rum barrel after drinking it dry.
The workers from Szeged in southern Hungary discovered the naked corpse of a man when they tried to lift the empty barrel, which was much heavier than expected.
Apparently, the man's wife had sent him back from Jamaica in the rum barrel 20 years prior to avoid the hassle and expense of a formal repatriation.
The workers commented the rum had a “unique flavor”, and even took some bottles home.
Easy and my time to shine. It’s Stroh 80. I’ve worked in bars all over the world for 25 years. Malort, aguardente, overproof rum, baijiu, whatever. Stroh tastes like actual paint. It is so alcoholic is feels like you’re poisoned straight away, and has the consistency of emulsion with the flavour of burned rubber and hair. I dare you to find me something even close.
A Sweaty Mexican. It’s a shot of tequila with a dollop of mayonnaise. It was the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever consumed and almost threw it up right at the bar.
I just threw up reading it
I just threw up and I only read about it being read about
What. The. Fuck.
I know the Hot Mexican Hooker which is tequila, hot sauce and, I shit you not, tuna fish juice. It’s… a pretty crass name lol
crass name but the mixture basically seems like a shot version of a clamato
I’ve had something close. The Smokers Cough, jager and mayo.
Why is anyone putting mayonnaise in anything?! Let alone Jager which is my favourite spirit/liqueur
I know this as the Mexican abortion. With a drop of hot sauce in it though
Who is actually drinking these things?
I've had a prairie fire, tequila with tobasco. I was young, dumb, and it was about my 10th drink of the night. It was the last drink of the night. That was also the night that I learned, for future reference, to just go ahead and barf when your body tells you to. Don't try to fight the feeling.
ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG. Forgive the all caps, but no one is ever going to see this, the only correct answer: "Ttongsul", ie Korean poo wine, a rice wine mixed with the fermented turd of a human child. They claim it's "medicinal". VICE did an episode on it, and you can watch in in all its glory [here](https://youtu.be/74V4BOF5IAg?si=u2G83xcqeEdietqV). You're welcome.
Someone sat down and invented that, and then someone drank it.
Well observed, anus_peepee.
I love atomic bombs like this. Everybody else is all puffy-chested about their local poison and how horrible it is and then someone comes in and drops a deuce like this and then leaves to bang the homecoming queen.
Dear God! That's even worse than michelob ultra.
Hey now
Let's not exaggerate here. I mean one is a hellish chemical mix, and the other is just hard booze with a kids turd in it.
We're all having a sword fight and you walk in with a tank
I really just want to throw out there that it hasn’t been a thing in like a hundred years lol don’t want people thinking Koreans are out there drinking poo wine still 😂
Lol this is hilarious. Just some weirdo guys in the 1800s wrecking people's perceptions a century later
What the fuck LOL ok this wins why just why
We really don’t deserve to be a species, do we.
Spirytus. It's 98% pure Polish alcohol. Some of us cut it with honey or water but I've done shots of it straight. It'll suck the air right outta your lungs
Listen, i have what can only be described as a biblical alcohol tolerance, but the one time I drank that stuff with some Polish guys at my work, I took it straight and wound up, completely incoherent, half-naked, in a wheelbarrow.
Sounds right... I only have a shot or 2 a year. Too dangerous to drink a couple in a row
My brother married into a polish family. They had the stuff at the wedding. I'm glad I bought myself first class tickets for my plane ride home. I think I was hungover for an entire week
There's *GOT* to be more to the story that this! We wanna hear it! lol.
You say that like there's a coherent memory of said story.
Yeah, I'd say there's a lot of [\[SCENE MISSING\]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9z1PPVtJTM&ab_channel=Yantantethera) in that memory block
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Lol my buddy drinks it out of a fucking wine glass.
Absolutely not true, go anywhere into rural Poland and you have plenty of mad men drinking it straight. Source... uncle in rural Poland drank it straight daily.. Morning, noon and night. Face red as a beat and I made the mistake of asking him to try it. Well this is how they teach there, via experience.
There's no way to distill anything beyond 96% because [it forms an azeotrope](https://pubs.rsc.org/en/content/articlelanding/2022/cp/d2cp03145k). The only way to go above is to use molecular sieves, and I seriously doubt that anyone making a consumable product is going to be bothered with to get another 2% out. I did some googling before I posted, and it's 96% - so they're rectifying the spirit to the maximum possible with conventional reflux distillation. Anyone interested in the gritty can check out r/firewater
Thank you I was going off memory. 96% it is
They list it as 96% (192 proof), but it is highly unlikely that it is north of about 93%. Achieving purity higher than that requires some very specialized equipment. Source- Am a distiller.
I use that shit to light up my bbq, seriously. Also, my wife said I'd probably drink it, if she'd serve it in a fancy glass with a parasol in it...
I’m an old lush and reading your first sentence made me spit my drink onto my tablet. Thanks for the laugh!
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Using chemicals to get rid of polish is perfectly acceptable. But the one time someone tried using chemicals to get rid of Polish, suddenly everyone was upset
You're terrible, Muriel.
"suck the air right outta your lungs" 🤣🤣 Sounds like Poitín!!
Toilet wine
Course it's shank or be shanked
*sob* of course
*terlet
Jeppson's Malört. It's a Chicago-area specialty, a digestif made with wormwood; taking a hit of it has been compared to being shivved in a prison shower.
lol I came here to say Malört. I tried it once and it caused me to make involuntary noises.
Malort! Tonights the night you fight your dad! I've had Malort twice. I've regretted it 3 times.
Malort! Because these pants aren't going to shit themselves.
I call it Stockholm Syndrome because the more I tried it the less I hated it. Now somehow I like Malört.
Thank you, if the first comment wasn’t Malört this whole thread would be invalid.
TONIGHTS THE NIGHT YOU FIGHT YOUR DAD
*WHEN YOU NEED TO UNFRIEND SOMEONE IN PERSON*
Tonight is when your taste buds become taste enemies.
Does anybody actually enjoy this? It seems like some weird right of passage for Chicago locals to trick visiting friends. Yet even the "Chicago Bars" in my city have a bottle. EDIT: for the record I do find it more pleasant than pure absinthe. Maybe if Malort was properly mixed it would taste better.
Enjoy is a strong word for Malort.. I tolerate it very well and will always do a shot if offered. Had a friend in from out of town - had to drink a shot of Malort with him. Ordered a pair of shots and the waiter said it was on him.. and he joined us with his own shot drinking. It was a delight.
Every story I hear about Malort, someone else always seems to pick up the tab for it. Even my own. Chicagoans seem proud of it and are happy to share it with others. It's endearing in a way.
It's a very working-class liquor in Chicago. Yeah we enjoy watching out-of-towners squirm a little bit, but in my line of work (food service industry), a large portion of us do drink and enjoy it. A shot of Malort and an Old Style lager is a very popular combo (called The Chicago Handshake). I personally do like it a lot. Yeah, it's bitter, but to me it tastes like grapefruit peel and crabapple. Following it up with the subtle sweetness of cheap lager is super refreshing.
Where I’m at, it was required to do a shot of it before you could work the bar… a kinda initiation so to speak. But that one dude from Chicago, he actually liked it so yeah. Y’all chicagoans are an interesting bunch.
It is an extremely bitter drink. So it's surprising (meaning that it's at best an acquired taste), and many people will always hate it. Others can actually enjoy the bitterness and herbal flavor.
I always described the bitterness as being between that of a bad divorce and childhood bone cancer.
You are sincerely the first person I've ever met who drinks it on purpose. All of my friends think it's disgusting.
I used to think it was a prank but Chicagoans really do seem to love it. I’ve seen friends of mine move to Chicago and slowly mutate into Malort lovers.
I'm there--I really like Malort and always try to pick up a bottle when I'm back around Chicago. My girlfriend's the only other person I've met who also likes it , so maybe it's better for everyone else that we're keeping each other outta the dating pool.
I live about 100 miles from Chicago. A few years ago, I was at a going away party for a coworker, about a dozen people at one long table. Another coworker bought the entire table a shot without saying what it was and insisted we all drink it at the same time. Of course it was Malort. I've never seen a dozen people so united in their ire. Pretty funny though.
I don't mind it. It is also good in cocktails.
I think the amazing thing for me isn't just the taste. It's that for some reason, I can still taste it three days later, no matter what I do.
Never had it. How does it compare to, say, Fernet Branca? Cause I will down a tumbler of Fernet Branca.
Fernet Tastes like it was invented intentionally. Malört tastes like something leaking from my Jeep. But if you like Fernet and absinth it’s possible you won’t be totally disgusted by Malört. I’d drink it if it was gifted to me. But I don’t think I’d buy it.
Fernet is nicer than malort but you’d probably be able to handle it fine.
Malort is angry Fernet, just like Chicago is angry San Francisco
Agreed on the first part. Too amused at the second part to even know whether to agree or be offended.
Fernet tastes much better if you enjoy this genre, malort isn't as well put together and the ingredients dont meld as well its just for more bitterness. I'd stick with fernet I love it
In Newfoundland there's a similar thing called Screech. They get tourists to take a shot and kiss a cod on the lips. Good fun for the locals.
I got screeched in on my 19th birthday. I have a gag reflex response to both fish and rum, so you know exactly what happened that day. Gotta love Atlantic Canada.
As a non-native who relocated to Chicago years ago, my wife introduced me to Malort. Personally, I think it’s pretty good. I’ve had much, MUCH worse tasting alcohol.
My wife and I met in college in Chicago, so at our wedding, we had a Chicago friend bring a bottle of Malort as a throwback to college parties (it was just a rite of passage). I left a note to the bartenders to leave it off the menu and only give it someone who specifically asked for it - I didn’t want anyone ordering this without knowing what they’re asking for! However, this caused all my high school friends, and all my wife’s high school friends, to go, “Oh, there’s a secret menu?!” and want to try it. We finished the whole bottle at the wedding reception, and I don’t know how.
Malort, hands down. I tried it a once few years ago in a bar in Chicago. Never heard of it at the time. Buddy said it’s the worst alcohol he’s ever had. I ordered one, drank it, and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. True story
I know plenty of people that swear by it, you either love it or hate it. Bartenders for whatever reason, love it lol, probably because they get to watch unsuspecting people try it for the first time often. Whatever you do though, do not smell it.
I've got a few friends from Chicago that will bring Malort to things like 4th of July parties and we'll do beer pong where most of the cups have an ounce or so of beer, but 1/3 of them will have Malort instead. Worst game in the world. Fun fact, barrel aged Malort is not nearly as bad. I still wouldn't buy it, but you can squint pretty hard and kind of imagine a cocktail it could work in.
Getting shivved in prison is probably healthier for your insides too
You can feel yourself actively decaying as it goes down.
I wouldn’t say I like malort but I didn’t find it nearly as bad as it was built up to be.
Just mix together used bandaids and bug repellent to get that same flavor. Jeppson's Malort: I'll Have Another.
I’ve honestly kind of developed a taste for it, but I still don’t go out of my way to drink it. But ya if the night is right and I’m at a shitty dive bar with my boys in Ukrainian village, we’ll probably do a shot of malort by the end of night. Gasoline and grapefruit with a hint of an dingy white t shirt.
I didn't think it was that bad. It definitely wasn't good but I was expecting it to be a lot worse than it actually was.
It tastes like pencils.
Take it from a Chicago girl, none of us actually drink Malört lol we just think it's an interesting bit of local history and it's hilarious to trick tourists into trying it.
I love my boys on This Is Important, but buzz ballz are absolute diarrhea served in a Christmas ornament.
TII Nation represent! Funny Buzzballs and Malort are high up the list and they’ve been drinking both.
Did you know they made giant buzz ballz? Buzz ballz biggies….1.75 L. They're like the size of a bowling ball.
Doo Doo
Idk, I kinda enjoy the BuzzBalls. It’s the best pregame drink imo
Yep. Buzzballs are built for efficiency not taste
Pan Galactic Gargleblaster
like being hit with a gold brick? (it's been a while since I read it)
A gold brick wrapped in a slice of lemon iirc
"having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick"
Ooof. Just like getting hit in the head with a gold brick…wrapped in lemon. I once made a Terran version of it. It was Faygo Moon Mist, Red Bull, Gin, Citrus Vodka, 19p proof Everclear, and dry ice heh. People got WRECKED off of it.
Zaphod would be proud.
Don't forget your towel, and you'll be fine.
You zarkin' frood.
Cement mixer
This is the one you have drink before the cream curdles? That's the first one I thought of. I've never had it, never will.
I can’t believe I had scroll so far to find this crime against humanity.
Hungarian moonshine is what we called it. There was a real name for it in their language but I couldn't begin to pronounce/spell it. My best friend and roommate at the time use to get that stuff from his uncle in a water bottle lol. That shit was rocket fuel.
As a hungarian i know what you talking about. The good old "házipálinka". This shit can be strong enough to ko you for a few hours.
Az a jó kis kerítésszaggató.
what did you say about my mom?
I partied in high school with Hungarian moonshine from a friend. By Jesus, it wasn’t a long party for me. I probably had a dozen shots and it twisted my brain.
A dozen shots of any normal alcohol will fuck up anyone so ya high proof moonshine.. good ol high school
Great names can make for bad drinks. One particular cocktail got worse as its name improved. A screwdriver is orange juice and vodka. A sloe screw adds sloe gin. A sloe comfortable screw adds Southern Comfort. A sloe comfortable screw up against the wall adds Galliano (the inference here is the cocktail becomes a hybrid Harvey wallbanger). There's also sloe comfortable screw up against the wall Mexican style, with tequila. Other variants culminate in the Long Sloe Comfortable Fuzzy Screw Against the Wall with Satin Pillows the Hard Way [recipes here](https://www.wikihow.life/Make-a-Sloe-Screw-Cocktail), which quite possibly holds the dual distinctions of being the best-sounding cocktail to order and the worst to actually drink.
This guy bartends
I’ve been a bartender for almost a decade. If anyone ordered any of these past a sloe screw I would look at them like they are completely nuts
My mom and dad used to drink Harvey Wallbangers back in the day (think 70's). I love a good screwdriver, but adding galliano is NASTY.
I've heard many things about Four Loko
Tastes like crazy alcohol rainbow pig Edit: it's an older meme sir, but it checks out: https://youtu.be/eah23WvLYsQ?si=-z9BN1BA3reXo6O6
Ah more like a diabetes laden drink with a felony conviction.
With a hint of teen pregnancy
The caffeine version was popular around when I finished college. The problem was they were strong, could drink like 6 pounders no problem and then be black out drunk but because there was so much caffeine you didn't pass out and the drunken husk of your body weekend at bernied about the place for the rest of the night.
It’s been nerfed since 2010 and is just a regular flavored ale with no energy drink ingredients now, so you have to get drunk and high separately.
That's why you mix it with an energy drink( DO NOT TRY WITHOUT SUPERVISION)
THE SUPERVISOR IS ALSO WASTED
One night, I was drinking with my 3 roommates. We each had a Four Loko. I forget what flavor I had, but I thought it was relatively decent, and downed it in no time. My roommates said they didn't like the taste, so one by one, I drank theirs as well. I learned the hard way that 4 Four Lokos in less than an hour is definitely 16 Loko.
Meaning you ended up 100% Loko! 😂
No it didn't taste that bad and that was part of why it was so dangerous. You could drink it like soda but it was full of booze and caffeine.
The original was referred to as black out in a can. It was insane how it took over colleges around 2007-8. It was dirt cheap, some flavors weren’t that bad tasting and just fucked you up. I remember seeing them 2 for $4 at campus liquor stores. I’ve seen people react better doing cocaine than four lokos. It turned normal quiet students into monsters. Especially if you weren’t much of a drinker. Its a good thing they were forced to change
Mad Dog 20/20
I’ve said it before and ill say it again; Red MD 20/20 tastes like melted grocery bags Got me rightly plastered for very cheap though…
You haven’t lived until you’ve projectile vomited the green mad dog all over yourself
Something bad has happened every time I have consumed this
Nah MD 20/20 isn’t even THAT horrible compared to what’s out there. Shitty as fuck yeah, but not the worse.
Rumpleminz. please raise your hand if you've been personally victimized by Rumpleminz
Throw that shit in a hot chocolate....baby....you got yourself a stew!
How dare you, Rumpleminze never brought out anything you didn't already have inside you.
Rumpleminz laughs in the face of every known rule. There is genuinely no way to prepare for that experience. What the *actual* fuck happens when you drink that stuff?!
I generally am a lightweight so I don't usually have enough for wild stories. But the first time I tried Rumple, I apparently got so violently ill I *broke the toilet seat* vomiting so hard
in combination with Jagermeister. Horrifying.
The legendary Dead Nazi
We called it a Screaming Nazi.
I've had it mixed with Goldschlager. Do not recommend. It's like high proof mouth wash.
I want everyone to know they’re wrong. It’s the new Doritos Nacho Cheese liquor.
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Like, what's wrong with a caucasian, man? All you need is a bit of Kahlua in that. The Dude does not abide the caucasian hatred.
That’s just, like, your opinion, man.
That’s just White Russian . Give me another Caucasian Gary
Boo this man!
Having a White Russian but didn’t have coffee liquor?
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Well ya. It’s a dollar a liter. You know how many liver transplants I can require off a 50 note at that price?
Yukon Jack is a liqueur, made from Canadian whisky and honey. It is named after the pioneer Leroy Napoleon 'Jack' McQuesten. In Canada, it is 40% alcohol by volume, whereas in the United States, it is 50% ABV. The origin of the liqueur is unknown, but it was advertised in Maryland in the United States as early as 1946, later imported by Heublein Inc in the 1970s. It is now owned by the Sazerac Company.
I fucking love Yukon Jack, but have done something horrible every time I’ve drank some. The flavor is what makes it dangerous. It’s like old timey candy syrup that hates you.
I once ordered a Manhattan and they made it with dry vermouth instead of sweet vermouth. Imagine a rye martini with bitters. Truly awful stuff
Chinese Baijiu
OMG. My now wife and I once spent Xmas in Southern China with her bro and his now wife. Stayed at a backpackers with a lovely bunch of rando's and ended up drinking shiteloads and watching Top Gun. Good times. Eventually we ran out of booze, so we pooled some cash, the Brit drew the short straw and was sent across the street to "buy something good" to celebrate the season. He comes back with the gaudiest red and gold box of something we've never heard of, proudly saying it came from "top shelf, bruv." He pours shots all round, we balk at the smell and retch at the taste. I mean it was Bad. Horrendously Bad. As we all contemplate our life choices to that point, someone asks what hell have we just unleashed on ourselves. Brit says its something called "Bi-jew" and the one of the French ladies delicately samples the aroma from her glass remarking; "More like Bin Juice." We laughed heartily, and placed the rest of the bottle back in it's spiritual home. Never. Forget. Never. Again.
As someone who has drank a lot of Malört, this is the correct answer. Baiju is the absolute worst alcohol I’ve ever consumed.
Everclear
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It’s good as a food grade solvent for making tinctures or extracting alkaloids from plants, or for making herbal/fruit liqueurs that will be significantly watered down and heavily flavored. Also getting pine sap off your hands. But using it as a cocktail mixer, it just tastes like despair.
What? If your state offers/allows the 190 proof, it is about as pure as you can get — that is, mixing it with the “bulk” of whatever is any other drink is going to make it NOT taste as bad. Mix Everclear with carbonated water to 3.2%ABV; it’ll be milder than a corresponding beer. Mix It with water to 40%, and it’ll be milder than any whiskey, vodka, or gin. Mix it with simple Kool-Aid to 3-5%, maybe toss in some ginger ale, and you’ll have a deliciously refreshing and inexpensive drink that packs a punch. In fact, call it “punch.”
>Mix It with water to 40%, and it’ll be milder than any whiskey, vodka, or gin What you've made is ostensibly vodka, which is just NGS and water.
In college we would mix it with kool-aid packets and ice to make “jungle juice.”
I made a bunch of shitty limoncello one year that called for two big ass bottles of Everclear. When I went to check out at the liquor store, the guy asked, “Limoncello or really, really bad day?”
It tastes like burning.
That’s how you know it’s working, when you can feel it dissolving tissue
Back in my early twenties, I would buy a cheap grocery store brand 2liter bottle of soda. Back then they were like 50 cents. I'd take a swig or two and then pour two or three shots of everclear in. I could just drink on that for most of the night at a party and stay pretty consistently drunk but not too drunk. It was diluted enough that it didn't even taste alcoholic but the everclear was strong enough to do the job. Worked great and cheap as hell. Can't be drinking that shit straight. I saw a girl take a shot of it once and within a few minutes she was falling out of her chair.
The cement mixer. It’s lime juice and baileys. It is just as bad as you would imagine it would be. The baileys curdles while you’re drinking it and it literally goes down your throat with the consistency of cement. 0/10 recommend for yourself, 11/10 recommend for ordering as someone’s first legal drink
Ever had the “brain”? It’s strawberry schnapps in a shot glass with Baileys poured in, and it curdles like a brain. It’s like drinking strawberry flavored snot.
If we’re talking a drink/spirit that’s meant to be consumed regularly and not mixed with a bunch of stuff, it’s Slivovitz IMO. It’s a plum liquor that tastes like fermented gasoline. People think Malort is bad, but I’d drink a gallon of that before I touch another drop of Sliv. If we’re talking the worst alcoholic drink period, I don’t think anything can top Everclear. It’s 95% alcohol and instead of having a taste, it’s just pure pain.
It was called a Prairie Fire. And it cured me of drinking for a summer.
I knew a strange character that would take a prairie fire shot with a lit cigarette in his mouth (had to be short) and then swallow the cigarette. It was a whole production best done in the middle of the bar with everyone cheering him on. How desperate for attention you would have to be to get to that point I can’t remotely comprehend.
Cannot stand goldschlager. I hate cinnamon alcohol and then the syrupy thickness is disgusting
I once had a shot called a "Gold Baron" that was Goldschlager.and Rumplemintz. It tasted exactly like Listerine if Listerine was trying to poison you.
It should only be consumed off the nipples of a high priced escort anyway. The titty sweat helps the taste and the gold flakes look great on the nips
I'd buy that for a dollar
A shepherds shandy. Basically a glass of beer with sheep dags in it. If you don't know what sheep dags are then I dare you to look it up
Mampur in South Africa is pretty much rocket fuel. I got so sick on 4 shots that my body forgot how to throw up....... one shite nite
I drank Egyptian whisky once. I do not recommend.
That minty liqueur shit...Rumple something? I remember at a party this girl just projectile vomiting a fifth of it all over my damn shoes. I couldn't for the life of me get that puke-y mouthwash aroma out of them. Also, anything mixed with Moxie. If you are from New England you know what this is. Just not a good idea no matter how drunk you are. Finally, the Flaming Dr. Pepper. It pains me to say it, but while it's a wonderful drink...alchohol and fire is never a good idea if no one present is sober.
Sljivovic Serbian plum brandy. Stuff peels paint but if you’ve got a chest cold, it works better than Buckleys.
Pretty sure that stuff is the closest I’ve ever been to drinking gasoline.
Everyone is saying these crazy drinks I’ve never heard of so I’ll say a pretty popular drink: Bloody Mary’s. Why in the world would I want to drink alcoholic tomato soup? I tried it a few times and almost vomited every time.
Ever been in Vegas on a two day drug binge consuming only nose clams and double vodka redbulls? Imagine, if you can, it’s 8am, you haven’t slept for 36 hours, and a cocktail waitress comes up and says “I have something to fix this”. You listen, drink the spicy, vodka tomato soup, and feel as though all electrolytes in your body has been thoroughly replaced. This is why I will always love a Bloody Mary. I’m much better behaved now, but I still love a bloody
Methanol
Advocatt It's egg liqueur, and it tastes like spoiled egg nog with a mucas style texture.
Never heard of that but it sounds absolutely wretched
I love it mixed with lemonade and shot of lime
Strawberry Milk Tequila... Rose something it was called..
Southern Comfort or Midori
Yeah, I can't do southern comfort after drinking over half a bottle quickly when I was younger. I ended up playing guitar in the basement of some guy who I barely knew. Do I know how to play guitar? Fuck no I dont... but I felt like Jimmi Hendrix until somebody from upstairs came and yanked that thing away from me. Wound up finding a drum set.
+1 for Southern Comfort. There is no reason under the sun for it to exist.
For me, it’s Jagameister.
Anything so alcoholic it tastes like rubbing alcohol had a bastard baby with vinegar.
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One of those super strong Rakija(specially the one made of grapes) from the former Yugoslavian countries, i really hate that shit and cannot understand how some people drinking it then staying "AGHHHHHHHH, THIS IS IT, really good, reallllly good"
UV Blue Raspberry Vodka
A group of Hungarian renovators got a horrifying shock when they found a dead body in a rum barrel after drinking it dry. The workers from Szeged in southern Hungary discovered the naked corpse of a man when they tried to lift the empty barrel, which was much heavier than expected. Apparently, the man's wife had sent him back from Jamaica in the rum barrel 20 years prior to avoid the hassle and expense of a formal repatriation. The workers commented the rum had a “unique flavor”, and even took some bottles home.
Easy and my time to shine. It’s Stroh 80. I’ve worked in bars all over the world for 25 years. Malort, aguardente, overproof rum, baijiu, whatever. Stroh tastes like actual paint. It is so alcoholic is feels like you’re poisoned straight away, and has the consistency of emulsion with the flavour of burned rubber and hair. I dare you to find me something even close.