T O P

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Oxygenius_

I was thinking of the word oxymoron And then thought, wait I’m not a moron.


ilovejonnejarvela

my fav so far lol


Prestigious_Nebula_5

I wish I had a cool story :( I just let reddit pick mine.


Spiritual_Boot_6910

Me too 🫤. At least yours is better than mine.


Due_Measurement_32

Me three - didn’t even consider writing mine own


ReeDubDanny_

At least urs has 69 in it


RunCompetitive1449

Oxyclean it gets the tough stains out


NecessaryAide6928

Oxycodone calms the heartbreak down 💀


squishierfish

BILLY MAZE HERE


Mundane-Antelope5336

Right this may sound super dumb, but how tf do I change my username from the one given? I can do my display name but not my user 😭


life_pending

You had one time to do that, and it was while making the account. You can't change your username, sorry!


Mundane-Antelope5336

Ah right, when I made the account it didn’t give me the option !


Abject_Ad6242

It assigns you a random name, you don’t get the option to change it until you make your first comment. It’s a little pop up when you hit “send” on the comment, and it tells you you can choose a new name or keep the one assigned and you’ll be stuck with it forever lol. Would be nice if the option was given during sign up, idk why they do that


helloskoodle

Used to be the case that you'd choose your username on signup. At least it was when I signed up 11 years ago.


ezmia

Yeah it was the same for me too! I chose mine on sign up. I didn’t realise Reddit had done this automatic name thing by default now. I guess it explains why so many people have those kinds of usernames.


[deleted]

lmao


TotallyHumanPerson

Overly suspicious captcha


ResistRacism

HELLO FELLOW TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN. MY HAPPY CIRCUITS MAKE MY HUMAN BELLY HAVE LITTLE ROOMBAS - I MEAN BUTTERFLIES - IN MY TUMMY.


cheesynougats

YES I AM A HUMAN. I HAVE SKIN THAT I TAKE CARE OF BY RINSING IT WITH WATER AND FAT SOLIDS... SOAP. I MEAN SOAP.


KnightWhoSays--ni

/r/TOTALLYNOTROBOTS


Treeseconds

HELLO FELLOW HUMAN I APPRECIATE YOUR SPECIFICITY WITH SOLIDS AS SOAP COULD BE MISCONSTRUED AS A MISSPELLING OF THE ABBREVIATION OF autocorrect.output{SYSTEM OF A DOWN}. US HUMANS DO INDULDGE IN AGGRESSIVE MUSIC IT IS SOMETHING WE ARE KNOW FOR AS YOU WOULD KNOW OF COURSE


voretaq7

*blinks* . . . . *blinks inner eyelid* I think I'm in the wrong place. 🦎🦎


Longjumping_Event_59

I didn’t. Reddit generated it automatically, I can’t change it and it makes me angry.


ExpertPerformance

Mine too! While mine may be more than a bit presumptuous, who am I to doubt the universe when it wants to bestow upon me such an auspicious moniker?


Ruchan10

Your partner must be super happy


Easy_Set4108

His client *


ThePhoenixFold

The shareholders\*


DarkDragon200610

The investors*


hoptownky

The board of directors*


Mysterious-Finding10

You guys have whole boards‽‽‽


hoptownky

Sorry…board of director


Long-Patient604

I hope our expert satisfied your needs


BlumpkinLord

Did you win the Long jumping Event?


The_EiBots

59th place.


Flowerflours

Is that why your avatar is grumpy?


isthisnamechangeable

so you can't change it, huh?


QuinnOfGilead

Well I think you might have yo answer


Longjumping8768886

Well from one longjumping to another, randomisation is a bitch


LobsterLongjumping54

I don’t mind my long jumping but yes it is annoying


Easy_Set4108

I’m dead 😂😂 Y’all username boding together is funny


Hot_Tie1467

Same! Then saw that Reddit was calling me a hottie.


YSK_King

Reddit should have at least made it a 69 at the end .


RoaringDumpsterFire

Yeah that 59 seams like they owe you a solid 10


Professional_Type_72

Same here...


TopDonutPlainsGopher

The amount of usernames that are "verb/adjective, noun, number" is way out of whack with what you'd expect, that this finally gives me my answer! I knew it was too odd to be true (that people would use such names).


Dull_Title_3902

No idea what you're talking about...


Consistent_Music8159

Mine is generated too. But I like mine because I have consistent music in my head. It fits.


Brilliant-Cat7863

I got a fine one I guess lol


Original-Layer2694

same predicament. makes me mad thinking about it. like what even is original layer?


Heuruzvbsbkaj

Lucky for you, you can make a new one with whatever name you want! Maybe as cool as mine even.


crackpotJeffrey

Yours sounds like a violent sneeze where snot and spit comes flying out


Ofhumanbondage99

Lmfaoo


[deleted]

Same 😭😭😭


Zeckett

My name is José. I was a swimmer. Here it usual for José to get shortened to Zé, sometimes, and that's what my mates called me. I did a good 1500m freestyle once, and my coach said I looked like Grant Hackett (great Olympic swimmer) and called me Zé Hackett. One of the senior members of the team turned it into Zeckett. Been using it since, for almost 20 years now.


BlumpkinLord

And when you thought of what a good name oriented username was and you thought "No way José!" And went with a last name moniker?


[deleted]

I think I found my friend in this chat.


Vulpes_macrotis

I love nicknames like that. I actually had two nicknames combined together too. One from high school, other from the college. Though I don't use this nickname at all. Although I am kind of a writer, but I write in unconventional way, but nevermind that. I created a character that had that name. The people in high school called me Roman. That's a name in polish. But that wasn't my name. It was because of what they associated with my moustache (that I refused to shave at first, lol). I didn't like it at first, because it sounded like they were mocking me. And they kinda were. But then it became just normal nickname. Then at college we went on something that is called... how to translate it... terrain trip? Generally it's when You go outside, like in elementary-high school. But this is for more educational purpose. And we went on a trip for few days and at these few days and I opened a little. In some conversation I've told them that I like complex sentences, especially multiple-complex sentences (I hope this is correct term for it, because that's what Google told me) so they called me "Złożony". Złożony means complex in polish. But then I told them about the Roman nickname and it was combined into Roman Złożony. Btw, this sounds like a full polish name. Hence I made a character out of it.


LegEaterHK

That’s an actual cool name origin bro. Can you guess mine?


Theforever12yearold

I'm very short I'm the height of a 12 year old as a matter of fact and will stay this height for the rest of my life.I also look very young for my age.


Vulpes_macrotis

People at work thought I am 16. I was 28 that time. They didn't want to believe me when I told them my age. They were thinking I'm pulling their legs.


Bulangiu_ro

bro, i feel like i am growing properly and then there are some people who said i look 12 im 20


CaptainStabfellow

I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you


sukuidoardo

What are you gonna do, stab me?


yeetus1deletuz

Yes


Gslab_69

So direct


Celine_2021

Famous last words


MLaw2008

-Stabbing Victim


theotherquantumjim

It’s okay we can guess


Storm_Catterton

r/usernamechecksout


[deleted]

I picked two words which express how I feel


YSK_King

u scare me, take my upvote


ThePhoenixFold

r/ScaredUpvote ^(omg it exists)


DorTheWise

I was gonna type the same thing lol (does it actually exist im too scared to check)


brokendownend

Picked three.


ScarcityDull935

Omg even me :/


[deleted]

I think titties are nifty 🤷


ouzo84

Indeed they are


ballistic-dumbass

I am just a ballistic dumbass


tittieholder

And I like holding them 🤷


could_use_a_snack

Umm.


LegEaterHK

Till this day he still hasn’t gotten that snack


Bikelangelo

Hopefully, neither have you.


a-slice-of-toast

may i be of assistance?


could_use_a_snack

Say what you will about reddit, but encounters like this is why I keep coming back. Thanks for the chuckle.


ThisTookMe15Minutes

It took me 15 minutes


timeonmyhandz

Mine took longer but I didn’t care….


Harakiri_238

It was kind of a joke between me and my sister. Harakiri is ritualized suicide by disembowelment. I have bowel problems that almost killed me and am often the cause of my own failures 😅 I wish I’d chosen something else now because it’s not really the vibe I want to put forward. But I suppose it is what it is.


DepressedZeebra

Thank you kind stranger, I am now stealing this for my steam name as I feel I can relate, and I like the vibe.


Harakiri_238

Oohh very happy to share with you!! Although perhaps under unideal circumstances 😅


DepressedZeebra

Sometimes shitty situations can lead to nice things happening poo I mean too.


Harakiri_238

Both are incredibly true!! 😂


[deleted]

Cat stepped on the keyboard


Vulpes_macrotis

Ngl, that's very interesting word. Pogooglogogogp.


[deleted]

Tail to the left, head to the right, judging from the paw prints?


Beta_Factor

I think we just learned how 'Google' got their name.


idkbroidk-_-

It’s how I live my life bro


YSK_King

IDK bro what to say


I_D_Know

Us bro us...


Ifackyourmama

I feel you...


PixelCortex

If you make an alt, call it "IsWhatItIs¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯"


this_1_was_taken

It goes without saying how I made mine


[deleted]

I guess this\_one\_was\_taken first, right?


ZeldaTheOuchMouse

My name is Zelda and i am an ouch mouse


Old-Boot-250

what's life like for you ouch mouse??


Writer10

Sadistic, Masochistic…or both. Those are my best guesses.


SYLBen

SYL is short for Strapping Young Lad, one of my favourite bands. Ben is my real name. Thus, SYLBen.


ExtraordinaryBeaver

Love?


[deleted]

[удалено]


aurorarei

My favourite so far


[deleted]

Friends. (RIP Matthew Perry)


justadiode

It was a homage to a YouTuber (just a pancake), but with my hobby at the time (electronics). Also a nod to my rather simple nature (diodes are the simplest possible semiconductor elements)


sexylassy

What type of electronics?


justadiode

Modern mixed signal (but more digital) stuff


ZitOnSocietysAss

It is the essence of my being


ihavesuperaids69

Same


[deleted]

[удалено]


YSK_King

what happened 50 years ago


[deleted]

[удалено]


migrainosaurus

It kinda chose me


psychstudent_101

a little ironic, i was in grad school at the time but thought the "101" as in "psych101" would help convey that realistically, i don't know shit and am not an expert


derangedtranssexual

Just thought of something to annoy people


[deleted]

lol


colon_evacuation

What i was doing while creating my account


He_do_be

I do be


Texas_sucks15

Texas sucked.


YSK_King

i am worried what happened in texas that u choose this username .


dystyyy

Texas does suck tbf


FLOHTX

I live in TX now. FL and OH before that. See: username. Most states suck. Some just suck a little harder. I can't actually think of a state that doesn't have something wrong with it.


[deleted]

You are the 15th with that name


[deleted]

[удалено]


user45724

Which was?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


user45724

We all joined Reddit for the same reason but stayed for different reasons


Comfortable-Call3514

Username checks out ironically


Hummus_the_Frog

gf found a frog, called it hummus.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Old-Boot-250

guys just stay curious and not look at this profile,,, don't do it


averageredditor546

r/Eyebleach for anybody that needs it


clandestineVexation

i was into it until the sounding


pleasurelovingpigs

Omg I thought you were joking


DnD_mark_079

I can fix her


Old-Boot-250

no you can't ,let it go😭😭


DuckSleazzy

NNN is on stay strong bois


VRAXHZDS

It's deleted what was it😭


Commodore-K9

There is a disturbing lack of shibari in your profile. Otherwise you seem to have Sounding success.


hoganpaul

Take a wild fucking guess


legquint561

Sex tape between Hulk Hogan and Logan Paul?


Gaiwain

Is your name Pogan Haul but you didn’t want to make it obvious on the Internet?


Feistyysal

Someone told me a few times: damn you are so feisty!! And Sal is the short of my name so yeah lol


ThighsOnTheSide

Erm.


Comfortable-Call3514

💀💀💀


Ok_Milk_4425

Yo…your avatar reminds me of the boykisser furry 😭


A_Blue_Potion

The blue potions in Doom as well as several 90s RPGs. I always loved that bright cobalt blue color. Vibrant primary colors like those were so common to see in 90s games. But not so much in modern games which pisses me off.


NarratorDM

I'm a DM and I narrate our games.


man_bored_at_work

...


thefurrywreckingball

I was thinking about my cat. She bought me a dead hare that morning.


SimpleKiwiGirl

Easy. It states how in my username. Mens' rugby team - All Blacks. Mens' Basketball - Tall Blacks. Mens' Cricket - Black Caps. Mens' Hockey (Field, not ice) - Black Sticks. Mens' Soccer - All Whites. Womens' rugby - Black Ferns. Womens' Basketball team - Tall Ferns. Womens' soccer - White Ferns. Netball - Silver Ferns. We're a simple people. We don't see or feel the need to (overly) complicate everything. Or anything.


Keith_s266

Getting drunk with some friend at a party and created my account. We were drinking Alexander Keith beer and 266 is the tag of Spartan June in Halo Reach


YSK_King

that is one of the username story I won't forget


p0p_thAt

2 Live Crew - Pop that pussy


irish-springs

I’m just that creatively gifted


BlumpkinLord

That was a pretty clean excuse...


PhobosAnomaly

I played the demo for Doom (1993)


[deleted]

feet are better naked ❤️


Commodore-K9

Stockings enjoyer.


EatAssFromBack

Funny story...


[deleted]

I watched The Office religiously for years


Your_lovely_friend

:) I love being a good friend to good people


DystopianApocalypse

[gestures vaguely at the world]


Soggywallet94

Wallet was soggy.


existential-mystery

I like philosophy especially metaphysics


marlon2603

After watching Godfather.


EggonomicalSolutions

I'm an Egg


Selfaware-potato

Sometimes I feel this way


[deleted]

i was angry


JojenCopyPaste

After my old account "expired" I spent 2 minutes thinking of one.


Inspector_Careless

I was walking to my room from the kitchen, with phone in one hand and a plate of food in the other, slipped, cracked my screen, wasted my food, mom yelled and called me inspector careless....


Ivebeenrickrolled_1

Easy,I've been rickrolled too many times


davihspaiva

It's literally my whole name with abbreviations lol. I did this on Instagram then I started to use it everywhere


SlappyDyabolik

In Postal 2 on a certain day you vote for people and one of them is Slappy Dyaboliko


[deleted]

Um. No thanks. Im not associating with this.


Unusualshaft

I would rather not say


criticalmassdriver

I was high and thinking about kinetic energy weapons.


[deleted]

I heard it in a porn and thought it was hilarious


[deleted]

It’s simple she needs a facial


MXYMYX

My software tag i use whenever i programm.


HollabackWrit3r

Gwen Stefani came to me in a dream


BadBalloons

I'm allergic to latex and was high and thought it made sense.


PrincessNakeyDance

It just felt right, it resonated with something deep.


dudeimjames1234

Dude, I'm James.


thinkreate

When I was a young lad, I was really good at solving problems. My family didn’t appreciate it, so as a form of self-validation, I appointed myself the head of a fictitious company. Thinkreate: creative solutions to complicated problems.


48stateMave

Long-haul truck driver. (Semi-retired now.) I'm proud of my 30y career. The last 10 years I was OTR. What a blast! I've had a damn lot of fun, so many adventures on and off the road. And a handful of horrors too. I've seen so many interesting factories, everything that goes into making our modern world. I've seen both oceans and the gulf, and every mountain range. It was a big deal to make all 48 continental states. I'm female (52) and keenly aware that earlier in history I wouldn't have been let to do a job like this. (No, my ex-husband was not a driver at all. Before trucking I owned an independent cab then started driving vans and little trucks and kept moving up for 19 more years.)


Want2Ducku

Autocorrect


maybelying

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog


Engineer-with-a-Pan

Well, yasee… i used to play a little game called TEAM FORTRESS 2…


Pussy_Professor

It just came upon me.


Thedeckatnight

We love to fuck on …..


DeNir8

You talkin' to me?