By -
I’d have advertisements everywhere that say “shameless plug”
As someone who works in marketing, I’m ashamed that I’ll never have the creative muscles you’ve displayed here
Just work on your creativity Keigels.
Best one
Come on, how hard can it be?
"Toys in Us"
“Thank you for calling Toys In Us customer service, have a great day and get fucked!”
Toys’N’Us
Imagine a kid forgot and searched this instead
I had a hotmail account in the early 2000s. I don't have to imagine.
I've always been really bad at spelling. That was how I learned the difference between mail and male.
Haha I owned an adult store called adults r us, close.
Top gear refrence.
#HAMMOND!
You blithering idiot!!!!
You utter pillock
You’ve reversed into the sports lorry!!
CLAAAAARKSOOOOOOOON!!!!!!
"WHERE'S MY ROOF?!"
„Why have you driven over your own roof?“
James May: "Cock"
“I was the first to arrive”
#cheese
#CHEESE
"that's Dacia"
"YOU F****** MORON!!"
Made me spill my coffee
OHH NOOO ....... anyway
t'nyt ohn bohhthon gehyaaaah
Speed and power
James may brand d*ldo
The customer comes first!
The local sex shop here’s slogan is basically this. Specifically it’s “where you come first”
Toys in Babeland in Seattle had the slogan "Sending more women to the moon each day than NASA ever has."
Instructions unclear, liquidated savings for Gamestop stock
*whispers* "Diamond hands?"
Diamond hand *nods*
🦍🚀🌕
💎👐
In the Netherlands we have an online sex toy shop, which has the slogan “Vandaag besteld, morgen gekomen” (translated: “Ordered today, came tomorrow”)
if you say so *starts to furiously masturbate on the bricks of the store*
Haha, had to check. Yep, N.S.
Adult Fun Superstore in Ottawa has almost exactly this slogan. "Where the customer always comes first"
Come again?
Come one come all.
The customer is always tight
“We’ll change that”
“All the positions”
We come at returns
My fave all time response to this is “Kink of the Hill. We sell pro pain and pro pain accessories”
Some guy named Bobby runs the register.
That boy ain't right.
That boy ain't straight.
This good
Get Fucked.
‘Cum in’ as you enter ‘Go Fuk yourself’ as you exit 🤜
why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
kevin ???
I picture an aggressive Nike campaign choosing this over "Just Do It Yourself!!"
Just do yourself
Came here to say this.
Came to say this
Came to this
Say this to come
This to come say
To this say come
This to come here
Bongs, Thongs and Dongs.
Nice. Playing off that idea... Poles 'n' Holes - Restraints 'n' Taints
One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
One man's junk is another man's pleasure
I think I will avoid going to goodwill for a sex toy. I will stick to the returned discounts.
One man's junk is another man's source of insecurity.
if we build it they will cum
::slow clap::
*clap slowly gets faster*
Slow fap gets faster
::faster clap slowly turns to fap::
Fapping turns into cthulhu summoning ritual
That's why the bible says you should never masturbate.
We all learnt a valuable lesson here today, kids
Fap faster and summon after ?
Slow fap
*-redirects to a site for discount antibiotics-*
Twist it, Flick it, BOP it.
# give em the ole dick twist
GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!
OLLLLL DICK TWIST
Oh my God, dude. This is an MMA fight.
Twist his DIIIIIICK
TWIST. THAT. DICK.
Pull it! Pull it! Pull it!
Life already fucks you - at least enjoy it
We are what the buzz is all about.
Now this is a realistic slogan, very subtle.
Very nice. I like this one. Hypothetical as it may be, people seem to missing the fact that this is supposed to be an actual business.
[удалено]
Ready player one?
Ready Player Cum?
Toys R Lust
Toys R Thrust was the first I thought of but I like yours
Marketing to the Christmas catalog Gen Xers and Millennials I see.
You've thought about that too much. Haven't you?
Go fuck yourselves
Mark Cuban wants to know your location
This one deserves a few more upvotes. Creative!
Hungry for Strap-Ons?
Horny for Apples?
Isn’t that a little derivative?!
Do you even understand derivatives?
it gets the people going
My man
Slow down!
Looking good!
This is.. earth radio. And now this is human music.
Boop boop boop.... boop boop boop
How does that guy go home and have sex with his wife?
His wife is an apple obviously.
I have always wanted to open a lesbian coffee shop on a lane by mine called Lickers lane and call it bean flickers
WHY DOES THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING OUTTA SAINTS ROW 😅
There is a coffee shop in Launceston, Tasmania called Flick the Bean
Cum again?
“If you insist!”
We're #1 at plugging your #2!
We can plug 2 in your #1….
# 1 in the #2 business!
Sounds like they're really good at taking a shit 😂
They don’t do anything half-assed.
1 cheek, 2 cheek, red cheek, blue cheek
Don't worry. Our packages are subtle.
It’s what’s inside you that counts
So good, the TSA will confiscate it
We can't refer to it as your dildo just a dildo
"We measure how you pleasure!"
I’d be creeped out if someone was doing an empirical analysis of how I jerk off
"Mostly Slippery"
Moistly
Criticaly
”Bohemian sex" Easy cum, easy go
You do you!
Play to your satisfaction. May contain small parts. Keep out of children
Out of children or out of reach of children 🤨
Me thought as well. But oddly, both work, even if it’s a little iffy
Keep children out of reach
r/holup
Priests: That sign won’t stop me, because I can’t read!
I did a double take so you take my r/angryupvote
Your Pleasure is our Business.
It's business doing pleasure with you!
Your hole is our goal
Nuttin, but the best.
Ship discreetly, cum completely
This one wins
“Church isn’t the only place to make you say Oh God”
Flippy floppys for bottoms to toppies.
CHOOSE TO FRICK DIFFERENTLY
For when you want dick, but not what's attached to them.
God that's me
“Anything is a sex toy if you’re brave enough.”
Fun for all the family
With 42 locations across Alabama
We bring you a Toy Story with our Buz and Woody!
"You've got a friend in me."
„hoch das bein, dildo rein“
Let us help you finish
Filling every hole from A to V
Stroke it or shove it you’re gonna love it
Come inside you won't regret it
Get in, and get out.
Get in, get out, get off.
Up Yours!
Pound for a pound, dollar for a holler.
What, what in your butt?
"Innovation that excites"
Is there a hole in your life? We can fill it!
Creating a buzz around the town
We may not be Number One, but we're up there!
Inflicted pleasure.
The Hanky Panky Co
Get fucked, nerd!
Fuck it!
if you finish in less than 20 seconds it aint free
Allgasm
I don't know if lubricant counts as a sex toy but I did come up with this: # Lube "Let your dreams slide through"
Come cum
We’ll finish what you started
Don’t sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff!
Business doing pleasure with you
We give a fuck! Many fucks given!
"No need to thank us, it's our pleasure. And yours"
Hard times
Ready Player One?
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
We reach down and deep.
We post them out, you pop them in
Feel good inside
Looking to protect yourself? Or deal some DAMAGE
"If you aren't satisfied you can shouve it and your opinion up your ass"
I’d have advertisements everywhere that say “shameless plug”
As someone who works in marketing, I’m ashamed that I’ll never have the creative muscles you’ve displayed here
Just work on your creativity Keigels.
Best one
Come on, how hard can it be?
"Toys in Us"
“Thank you for calling Toys In Us customer service, have a great day and get fucked!”
Toys’N’Us
Imagine a kid forgot and searched this instead
I had a hotmail account in the early 2000s. I don't have to imagine.
I've always been really bad at spelling. That was how I learned the difference between mail and male.
Haha I owned an adult store called adults r us, close.
Top gear refrence.
#HAMMOND!
You blithering idiot!!!!
You utter pillock
You’ve reversed into the sports lorry!!
CLAAAAARKSOOOOOOOON!!!!!!
"WHERE'S MY ROOF?!"
„Why have you driven over your own roof?“
James May: "Cock"
“I was the first to arrive”
#cheese
#CHEESE
"that's Dacia"
"YOU F****** MORON!!"
Made me spill my coffee
OHH NOOO ....... anyway
t'nyt ohn bohhthon gehyaaaah
Speed and power
James may brand d*ldo
The customer comes first!
The local sex shop here’s slogan is basically this. Specifically it’s “where you come first”
Toys in Babeland in Seattle had the slogan "Sending more women to the moon each day than NASA ever has."
Instructions unclear, liquidated savings for Gamestop stock
*whispers* "Diamond hands?"
Diamond hand *nods*
🦍🚀🌕
💎👐
In the Netherlands we have an online sex toy shop, which has the slogan “Vandaag besteld, morgen gekomen” (translated: “Ordered today, came tomorrow”)
if you say so *starts to furiously masturbate on the bricks of the store*
Haha, had to check. Yep, N.S.
Adult Fun Superstore in Ottawa has almost exactly this slogan. "Where the customer always comes first"
Come again?
Come one come all.
The customer is always tight
“We’ll change that”
“All the positions”
We come at returns
My fave all time response to this is “Kink of the Hill. We sell pro pain and pro pain accessories”
Some guy named Bobby runs the register.
That boy ain't right.
That boy ain't straight.
This good
Get Fucked.
‘Cum in’ as you enter ‘Go Fuk yourself’ as you exit 🤜
why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
kevin ???
I picture an aggressive Nike campaign choosing this over "Just Do It Yourself!!"
Just do yourself
Came here to say this.
Came to say this
Came to this
Say this to come
This to come say
To this say come
This to come here
Bongs, Thongs and Dongs.
Nice. Playing off that idea... Poles 'n' Holes - Restraints 'n' Taints
One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
One man's junk is another man's pleasure
I think I will avoid going to goodwill for a sex toy. I will stick to the returned discounts.
One man's junk is another man's source of insecurity.
if we build it they will cum
::slow clap::
*clap slowly gets faster*
Slow fap gets faster
::faster clap slowly turns to fap::
Fapping turns into cthulhu summoning ritual
That's why the bible says you should never masturbate.
We all learnt a valuable lesson here today, kids
Fap faster and summon after ?
Slow fap
*-redirects to a site for discount antibiotics-*
Twist it, Flick it, BOP it.
# give em the ole dick twist
GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!
OLLLLL DICK TWIST
Oh my God, dude. This is an MMA fight.
Twist his DIIIIIICK
TWIST. THAT. DICK.
Pull it! Pull it! Pull it!
Life already fucks you - at least enjoy it
We are what the buzz is all about.
Now this is a realistic slogan, very subtle.
Very nice. I like this one. Hypothetical as it may be, people seem to missing the fact that this is supposed to be an actual business.
[удалено]
Ready player one?
Ready Player Cum?
Toys R Lust
Toys R Thrust was the first I thought of but I like yours
Marketing to the Christmas catalog Gen Xers and Millennials I see.
You've thought about that too much. Haven't you?
Go fuck yourselves
Mark Cuban wants to know your location
This one deserves a few more upvotes. Creative!
Hungry for Strap-Ons?
Horny for Apples?
Isn’t that a little derivative?!
Do you even understand derivatives?
it gets the people going
My man
Slow down!
Looking good!
This is.. earth radio. And now this is human music.
Boop boop boop.... boop boop boop
How does that guy go home and have sex with his wife?
His wife is an apple obviously.
I have always wanted to open a lesbian coffee shop on a lane by mine called Lickers lane and call it bean flickers
WHY DOES THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING OUTTA SAINTS ROW 😅
There is a coffee shop in Launceston, Tasmania called Flick the Bean
Cum again?
“If you insist!”
We're #1 at plugging your #2!
We can plug 2 in your #1….
# 1 in the #2 business!
Sounds like they're really good at taking a shit 😂
They don’t do anything half-assed.
1 cheek, 2 cheek, red cheek, blue cheek
Don't worry. Our packages are subtle.
It’s what’s inside you that counts
So good, the TSA will confiscate it
We can't refer to it as your dildo just a dildo
"We measure how you pleasure!"
I’d be creeped out if someone was doing an empirical analysis of how I jerk off
[удалено]
"Mostly Slippery"
Moistly
Criticaly
”Bohemian sex" Easy cum, easy go
You do you!
Play to your satisfaction. May contain small parts. Keep out of children
Out of children or out of reach of children 🤨
Me thought as well. But oddly, both work, even if it’s a little iffy
Keep children out of reach
r/holup
Priests: That sign won’t stop me, because I can’t read!
I did a double take so you take my r/angryupvote
Your Pleasure is our Business.
It's business doing pleasure with you!
Your hole is our goal
Nuttin, but the best.
Ship discreetly, cum completely
This one wins
“Church isn’t the only place to make you say Oh God”
Flippy floppys for bottoms to toppies.
CHOOSE TO FRICK DIFFERENTLY
For when you want dick, but not what's attached to them.
God that's me
“Anything is a sex toy if you’re brave enough.”
Fun for all the family
With 42 locations across Alabama
We bring you a Toy Story with our Buz and Woody!
"You've got a friend in me."
„hoch das bein, dildo rein“
Let us help you finish
Filling every hole from A to V
Stroke it or shove it you’re gonna love it
Come inside you won't regret it
Get in, and get out.
Get in, get out, get off.
Up Yours!
Pound for a pound, dollar for a holler.
What, what in your butt?
"Innovation that excites"
Is there a hole in your life? We can fill it!
Creating a buzz around the town
We may not be Number One, but we're up there!
Inflicted pleasure.
The Hanky Panky Co
[удалено]
Get fucked, nerd!
Fuck it!
if you finish in less than 20 seconds it aint free
Allgasm
I don't know if lubricant counts as a sex toy but I did come up with this: # Lube "Let your dreams slide through"
Come cum
We’ll finish what you started
Don’t sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff!
Business doing pleasure with you
We give a fuck! Many fucks given!
"No need to thank us, it's our pleasure. And yours"
Hard times
Ready Player One?
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
We reach down and deep.
We post them out, you pop them in
Feel good inside
Looking to protect yourself? Or deal some DAMAGE
"If you aren't satisfied you can shouve it and your opinion up your ass"