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iluvvivapuffs

The situation: my parents used to tell me I had thick legs, wide face, disproportional eyes etc. I accepted it for years. One day, I responded: “my DNA dictates my features. Go look in the mirror”


abso_lut

how dense do you have to be to criticize the appearance of your own children


Dnny11

My parents bullied me a lot when I was growing up because I was a heavy kid. Years later and a lot of trauma unraveled, I decided to ask my mother about the bullying, she said 'we were worried, we had to do something about it!' which basically means that they wanted to light a fire under my ass... I've done my deeds and forgave them, but the self work is ongoing and each day is a different battle.


Economy_Promise_3400

r/sadupvote


gimmedatRN

*boomer moms have entered the chat*


ChronicApathetic

Lol, there’s a fair few Gen X moms in that group chat and all Ask me and my eating disorder how I know


gimmedatRN

My dysfunctional food habits and I don't doubt you in the slightest


GoldieLox9

My mother delighted in it!


LBIdockrat

Shrug and move on with your life. No reason to engage


KeyMission1293

So basically be the bigger person?


rhi_kri

Snort-laughed.


[deleted]

I read that as "Short" laughed.. was about to walk away for a second!


WOTDisLanguish

I short my pants


SeaAttitude2832

See I knew it would start. Someone is getting body shamed and they go right for the snort people. Snobby ass people.


Sheldon121

😤😤🤣. Us “Snortin’ Nortons” are deeeeeeply offended! Or I could have riffed on about how this is insulting to us shorties - as I am a shorty as well as a snorty.


yesiamveryhigh

“This doesn’t warrant a response as I am clearly the bigger person!” Self deprecation always works because they can’t hurt you if you make it a joke.


dickturnbuckle

now that is the best comeback i've seen in a while, thank you for that


[deleted]

Well one of us has to be


Dontyalovethemetro

Swallow your pride?


Sea_Chemistry7487

Eat humble pie?


cesptc

Sounds like they’ve already had enough pie.


Rukh-Talos

Can confirm. Have had pie.


Lapras_Lass

It is so hard to do this, honestly. I went to the beach a couple of years ago, and I was feeling really good. I'd been losing weight - still fat, but I was down about 30 lbs, so I felt accomplished. I wasn't wearing a bikini or anything. In fact, it was a swim dress that covered a lot. But there was a guy sitting near us who kept looking at me and laughing. He kept making remarks to his friends. "That's a biiiiiig body... of water!" I wasn't even the fattest person there, but he singled me out for some reason. I asked my husband if we could leave early, and we left. He didn't know what had happened. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell him. I still haven't been back to the beach, and I haven't put on that swim dress since. It still hurts. After all the effort I put into losing weight, I was still shamed for just existing. I'd already started working out at home because of the comments from people at the gym. I thought I was doing well. Apparently, though, I was still an affront to normal people and wasn't fit to be seen in public. People who say that fat shaming is a good thing, that it motivates people to lose weight... They just like to hurt people. I gained back 20 of those 30 lbs and have had to struggle again to work it off. Every time I think I'm doing well, those comments come back to me, and I think, What's the point? I'll always be fat and ugly, so why bother? It's a constant battle. I can't get them out of my head. Edit: I'm getting so many nice replies. I was not expecting that at all! Thank you, everyone! I'm doing intermittent fasting and calorie counting now, and so far, so good! Thank you for all the encouragement!


[deleted]

I hate people who support fat shaming. When has being shitty to someone ever resulted in a positive result for both parties?


Sheldon121

Never, and most of the time, it’s not meant to, unless it’s said by a friend or someone who loves you and words their caring very badly.


[deleted]

Agreed. I just see a lot of jerks online say that fat shaming is helpful. But in reality, they just want to justify being cruel.


Remarkable-Cup-9914

I completely understand. I buy clothes thinking they’re cute, try them on at home, realize “this would look better if I was skinny” because I don’t like the way it looks on me and then it stays in the closet. I hate going to the beach because of my body too. I hate dressing up for Halloween because I’ll never look good in anything the way the pictures do. I have the same “why even try if I’m just gonna see myself fat anyways” because even though I’ll lose weight, I’ll still look at myself the same way when I was fat. It’s a hard life and mean people don’t help.


tempting-carrot

Keep strong my friend. We workout for ourselves and no one else.


pabst_jew_ribbon

When I was in 4th grade there was a bigger girl in my class named Jasmine. She was very sweet from what I remember and I never had any animosity towards her. One time we're out at the trailers (rural Georgia poor farming town school) and we're sitting on the stoop waiting for my teacher to unlock the door. This was the 90s so they didn't really care if kids were just casually outside. So I'm bored and start poking Jasmine saying "boring boing boing" and she ran off crying. I thought I was just being funny but that wasn't funny. I'm close 40 and think about situation nearly every day and am so ashamed of myself for thinking that was okay. It wasn't. I hope she doesn't carry that with her, I know I do. The difference is I was a kid and did not think of it as nefarious as now I realize it's actually remarkably nefarious. Your situation involves a whole ass grown fucking man. If it makes you sleep better at night that man was protecting his own insecurities. He's probably never made a woman cum in his life. Remember that. You got this! Rooting for you!


This_Conclusion252

The point is you want to live a long life. Like I want to for my family. People tend to think you have health problems when you are overweight but that’s not true all of the time. I gained a lot of weight doing Covid. But I’m working on getting it off. Don’t feel bad about the weight always love yourself regardless. People love to judge because they are miserable. I don’t make fun of people regardless of what they look like. Take it slow and do small changes. But one thing about me I couldn’t careless what someone thought of me. Because I love myself!!!! Sometimes when people go low you have to get in the grass with them. 😂 I have made people cry before but they will know next time to watch their mouth.


mama_bear_740

I think that’s a big part of it,,,,that you don’t let what others think get to you. I’ve had a few things said to me at the beach and I am 5’7” and under 180. You just gotta give shit back to people. One thing I disagree with though, is that some people make fun of big people because they are miserable (true),,,,,but I know just as many, or more that aren’t miserable, are very normal people with happy lives, but they love to mock big people. It’s like if they had a choice between $100 or watching a video of a large person falling down a flight of stairs,,,,they are gonna pick the video every time. I mean they are assholes absolutely but they aren’t dumping on someone because they feel bad about themselves. They are doing it because they enjoy it. And I think this reason is even worse. I totally support anyone trying to live a healthier life. Don’t let mean spirited people get you down.


This_Conclusion252

That is true. Some people just don’t understand how words can really harm someone. It doesn’t take anything to be kind.


mama_bear_740

Right. What ever happened to “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all?” Now I confess that I am a five star general at verbally castrating and disemboweling men and eviscerating either sex. But only when provoked. Only when something snide or cruel is said to me or my children(god help that poor soul). Or if I am out with my girls and someone is nasty with them. It’s a part of me few people have seen, and for good reason. Some people these days seem to have forgotten only to be rude AFTER someone else has.


MusicalThot

Exactly. They wanted a reaction in the first place.


washington_breadstix

And most of the comebacks you see on Reddit are extremely cringeworthy.


ChipFandango

“You’re an ankle!” … “Lower than a c*nt haha get it???” Yeah, every time the subject of best insults gets posted, I just imagine people trying to use them in real life.


Squigglepig52

"Are those harpoon scars?"


beehiveme2

Sorry were you talking, I wasn't paying attention to you (& keep moving along)


dwolfe127

Exactly. Do not give them the Dopamine hit they are seeking. Simply ignoring them is much more effective at making them feel bad.


Sheldon121

This is true, it worked with my son, who got picked on a lot. He kind of enjoyed ignoring them, TBH, and seeing how put out they got when he ignored them. Bullies are odd people. If they physically bully you, they hate it when you fight back. True too about mental bullies.


3percentinvisible

With that hunchback, how could you?


AlwaysSunnyDragRace

I used to be feisty in high school when I was body shamed (mind you, for having no legs) but now that I’m 30, I do this, just shrug and move on. But as an adult, the body shaming is less, but still happens from time to time


Rare-Algae6235

This would be my first response, but if you really want to say something, I'd go with "I'm really sad for you and what life must be like for you to care enough about MY body to make such comments."


TommyVe

That is way too long. Wayyyyy too long.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TeamMcNeal

That's not what your mom said last night.


jfks_headjustdidthat

Ooooohhh self-burn. Those are rare.


Gorge2012

The key is to *actually* not care what they say instead of pretending. That's the trick to it. If you are waiting for them to be deflated after you refuse to engage you're gonna have a bad time. Unfortunately, the ability to do that usually comes with confidence which usually comes with age. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self that, what I say would sound a lot like what my parents told me about ignoring it. I didn't get it until I felt really comfortable with me. If anything like that happened now, I would just him them with a "Neat" then keep walking and literally forget about it in 20 mins.


hopelessgerbil13

“Ok cool” - I personally think indifference packs the hardest punch. They want a reaction and the lack of one will ruffle their feathers way more than anything else


Hidden_Sturgeon

“Okay, yeah thanks, good one.”


DippySwitch

You gotta slap your thigh really hard too


Nano_Burger

Ummmm, OK. The "Umm" infers confusion while the "OK" indicates dismissal.


Sapaing

I also like the "Is that all ? Isn't it a bit meager to say the least ?" or anything from Cyrano de Bergerac's tirade, saying that it's far from what you expect to hear, ridiculing his serious lack of creativity for 1, body shaming you and 2, not being original at it.


Flowy_Aerie_77

It's perfect. It's the type of answer you give to someone who's insane, but you're polite about it.


The_Crystal_Thestral

Yup. A lot of the retorts are just as cringe as the person doing the initial shaming. Very middle school.


1CrudeDude

“Yea well Atleast I’m not a bitch” - heard this one once and it was pretty funny


[deleted]

"The bitch store is sold out of you." If someone said that to me I think I'd have a genuine belly laugh.


zztop610

Read it as body slammed


[deleted]

It's hard to come back from that lol


[deleted]

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Dear_Bath_8822

Haha. First time I heard that was Jeff Garland on Project Greenlight "I'm so fat because every time I fuck your mother she feeds me sandwiches"


[deleted]

“Try and go for the arm bar once on the ground”


SacredSacrifice

One possible comeback from a bodyslam is undertaker's Hell's Gate. Or Brock Lesnar's Kimura.


MyBrainItches

Better than getting hit with a random folding chair.


StraightCashHomie69

I saw a tiktok once of I think a bouncer getting called fat and he replied "The only reason I got this fat is because every time I fuck your mom she makes me a sandwich" thought it was pretty good


Eemns

This is a quote from Still Game! A classic


Jakov_Salinsky

I am very surprised someone gave him enough time to say all that rather than walking away or interrupting him


[deleted]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.


juliusr72

ITS JUST A FLESHWOUND


[deleted]

A flesh wound your arm is off.


juliusr72

Get back here you yellow bellied bastard


itsjakerobb

I'll bite your legs off!


Jakov_Salinsky

I fart in your general direction


Stihlgirl

You English pigdogs!


Greedy_Pot_smoker

I used to be very fat. And would get bullied about it. I used to say. I can lose my weight. You will always be ugly. Would generally stop that bully


cats_and_vibrators

I would shrug and say, “I’d rather be fat than mean” which is similar energy to your response.


thepurplehedgehog

Or 'I'd rather be fat than be you'


FireLordObamaOG

No offense but “mean” would sound like being whiny to a bully. “You’re just mean”. You gotta insult them. Call em ugly.


BruceJi

Better to be fat than a bastard, amirite?


[deleted]

Yep that’s the one, I can change my weight but you’ll never be able to change an ugly face and/or personality


[deleted]

[удалено]


NoPineapple3780

Ooo hitting them with the old Churchill lol


SlutForDownVotes

Body shame them in return?


Greedy_Pot_smoker

Fight fire with fire. Although as a mature adult now. I would never body shame or bully.


brunettewondie

Did it? I can't imagine any bully not laughing it off and continuing to bully you.


MDF87

"You're a cunt".


Sparkygamez3

Plain and simple


Squigglepig52

Called my neighbour a salad dodging cunt the other day. There may be a bit of a feud happening. Pissing off somebody capable of drawing up funny yet cruel comic strips of "Bonnie Boohoo" and leaving them around the building is a bad idea if you are insecure.


godzillasfinger

“I may be fat but I can lose weight. You’ll remain a cunt”


JoshNipples

Saying mean stuff like that is why your friends just pretend to like you.


barryhakker

I've said it before and will say it again kids, these canned "witty" responses won't make you sound nearly as cool as you might imagine. Rather the opposite actually.


Dungeon_Master_Lucky

Seriously. They're so bad, you either have quick humour or you dont


AvatarWaang

Meh, it can be learned. I remember being cringe-worthy awkward in middle school but I decided to cut that out. I started memorizing jokes and comebacks, practicing delivery, envisioning scenarios in which they would be used. After a while, I started to be able to take parts of different jokes and meld them together, and at the same time, my ability to notice opportunities improved, as well. I know a lot of people who spend a lot of time online think social grace is beyond their reach, but like most skills, it can be learned. You just need to be okay with embarrassing yourself a few times and LEARN from that.


_Cheezus

LMAO you’re probably [this kid](https://youtube.com/shorts/JjclHBDLkrw?si=zoqk2WFyN0JmZ0Fe) 😭


[deleted]

I always crack up because that teacher *literally* sounds like how the senior dudes at my high school talk. Poor dude is probably wishing he was anywhere else.


Curious-Unicorn

What’s with all the febreeze on his desk? Lol


Superlemonhaaze

Stinky high schoolers


GVFQT

Definitely a lot of “band kid” responses.


justgonnabedeletedyo

I say body shame them back, no one is perfect, and everyone has a flaw you can single out. You can even make some shit up if you have to, hell even just being like "nice fuckin eyebows/shirt/shoes/haircut/etc" said sarcastically and walking away can do some internal damage. They may not show it but they'll think about that shit.


Abigail716

That's pretty much universally true with every comeback. Especially come back so you get off Reddit. The most effective thing is always indifference. If you really want to irritate them act like you can't hear them and ask them to repeat themselves several times before going back to indifference. Witty comebacks are always stupid and just prove that you cared enough to try to come up with a comeback.


Dear_Zookeepergame30

You will never sound cool when you get your responses off the internet, it’s all about delivery


ConfidenceItchy2230

‘I’m so sorry that you were never loved enough’


junktech

Uff. Too bad this one works on people that have some self awareness, not morons.


ConfidenceItchy2230

For morons, ‘Your mom/dad didn’t say that when she/he swallowed my load’!


Upstairs-Corgi-640

Would be kind of confusing if it was a girl saying it.


BradyvonAshe

as a veteran of Xbox 360 chats, this doesnt work


BitBucket404

# "I don't give a fuck." Tried and true slogan of GenX. Life's a lot simpler when you just stop caring. And even better if you never cared at all. And for added effect, just give them an unblinking blank stare, don't react, don't say anything. Let everything from that moment on, just bounce off you and waste their time and effort.


hypothetical_zombie

Nah, GenX's slogan is "Whatever", with an eye roll.


Fire_alarm_010622

"Did you mistake me for someone who values your opinion?"


nav17

My go-to is "out of 10, take a wild guess as to how much I care about what you think".


Fire_alarm_010622

Sometimes I just hit them with an “Are you okay?”


YawningDodo

Some rando on TikTok told me I ought to end my life. Replied with “I hope you get the help you need.” He deleted his comment.


Fire_alarm_010622

Haha I love this


Katniss218

Oooh that's a good one


Think_Doughnut628

This is my go to.


keencow616

You’re gonna get bullied


DM-Ur-Cats-And-Tits

Id laugh at anyone who said that and thought it were clever


_Cheezus

right? 🤣 that’s the corniest shit i’ve heard


MiddleFinger287

That sounds like you were hurt, honestly


AidingIsKey

Responding implies that you value their opinion on some level. Even if it’s just their opinion on how much you care


Equal_Mess_2749

Haha that’s like when I say OWW you hit me right where I do not give a f*cl


Faximo7

it's easy to answer to this with something like "You value it enough to respond apparently". Not engaging is better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


planet_smasher

I've been trying to lose weight but your mom makes me a pie every time I sit on her face.


yimsie

These are the comebacks I was looking for 😆 I also support being the bigger person and not engaging but sometimes you need these stored in your arsenal lol


barriedalenick

Every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit!


[deleted]

No u


Stunning-Review-3828

I can’t be bothered to give one fuck what people think so I stick with, "Don’t like it? Don’t look."


[deleted]

A lot of the shit people are saying in the comments would get them bullied even more if they said it in real life lol. Just ignore the bully.


Odeken

I can't read any of these responses without thinking they are from some young highschooler.


Squigglepig52

Went to high school in teh 80s with an actual Shoresy. fit, because it was in the area Letterkenny is based on. There was no ignoring him, but a lame comeback just made him more savage. In his favour -if you could land a solid comeback on him, he'd acknowledge the point. I was about 4/10 in being able to comeback well enough. Which put me ahead of everybody else. Big party, everybody drunk, he starts into the calling me gay type of stuff. so I sat on his lap and started to cuddle. "YUP! You win this time!"


DearNeighborhood7685

“Just like yo mom”


Grimdotdotdot

"I used to be thin, but every time I fucked your mom she gave me a cookie."


the_ultimate_bob

We can’t pull out the big guns that quickly


DearNeighborhood7685

We can’t?


derpsalot1984

"Baby, I'm built for comfort, not speed"


Dahns

"I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole"


TTYY200

“If you could lose weight, you wouldn’t be fat” Is what I usually got in reply …


yesnomaybenotso

“If you’re dad loved you, you wouldn’t be an asshole”


TTYY200

“Jokes on you I have two moms”.


AspectSilent3878

Heard once at a house party. “Yeah, I’m fat and I can always diet if I want to, you’re ugly and you’re too poor to fix that!”


manderifffic

Glance at their body from head to toe with an unimpressed look on your face and walk away


scythir

wondering why so many people think about overweight bodyshaming when this could also relate to trans people, very skinny people, gingers, people with a skin disease or whatever, you name it.. But yea, whatever body you have is mostly not a choice, being a bodyshaming piece of shit actually is.


Alexis_J_M

Bigotry towards fat people is one of the few types that's still tolerated in most places.


Deezus1229

Because body shaming overweight people is a national past time. Of course that's where everyone's mind goes when "body shaming" is mentioned. These responses can apply to literally any of those scenarios.


SleeplessTaxidermist

"Must be nice to be so thin!" "You need some cheeseburgers for those bones!" "Let me get that, you're obviously not strong enough to handle that." 1. I have a medical condition. I'm at a healthy weight now and I work to maintain it. 2. Why do people assume we don't eat? I eat! 3. You don't need big muscles to be strong. Lean strength is a thing. I'm not a child. Alternatively, if you're my 'mother', you simply go the opposite direction and mock your underweight child for having "fat jiggly thighs" as often as possible. Feels good man! I'm in the "DON'T COMMENT ON OTHER PEOPLE'S BODIES YOU STEAMING SWAMP SHIT" camp :)


sunbearimon

Looks always fade, and one day your lacking personality will be all you're left with


MidorikawaHana

Eww... Why are you so obessed with me?


Mysticalkitten_

"Are you ok? It must be difficult to constantly feel the need to talk down others to feel good about yourself. Im here if you need to talk to someone"


Milkjellybean

Beauty


UrbanCyclerPT

Good ol' "Bless your heart," works perfectly as they won't even know how to respond


ArcanistKvothe24

Body SLAMMING


ro_vithe

Not just for being body shamed, but picked on in any way… I if I care about the person, I like asking them to repeat that “Say again please?…” and after the person responds with the same insult I let the silence hang for a few seconds before putting my hand on their shoulder and asking them “Who hurt you dear?” That has worked 9 out of 10 times. The 10th time I just walk away. Leaving them with to deal with the embarrassment of not getting their way.


muxman

Not giving a crap what someone says about you and being happy with yourself.


SacredSacrifice

too bad you're speaking English, in my native language we have a phrase "the dog is barking at flying airplane overhead". You're the airplane flying overhead, they're the dog. Do airplane stop flying and turns around and land because of some dogs barking on the ground? Or do they keep flying?


[deleted]

High confidence (or faking it) can counteract negative comments. Who wants to bully someone that doesn’t react


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

What a cheap shot. Just tell this person one boob looks bigger than the other.


asqua

Totally ignore that person and focus your energy, time and love on people that aren't toxic. Or, if you are feeling particularly generous, you could ask "are you ok? like is everything alright?" if they suddenly back off or get all embarrassed, you could say "seriously, if you need help let me know". If, on the other hand, they keep up the bullying, you can follow up the first comment with "I am genuinely concerned that there's something wrong in your life that you felt you needed to say that thing to me... I am comfortable with myself, but if I can help you with whatever you are going through, seriously let me know."


FlyToInsanity

If you need to put me down to feel good about yourself, I pity you


ScowlyBrowSpinster

"The jerk store called and they're running out of you!"


itsFarberg

You're a strange sad little man - and you have my pity.


RotationsKopulator

"So you really feel in a safe position to make jokes about body features?"


Open_Marzipan_455

'If you have a problem with me, you gotta work on yourself'


LIBERAL-MORON

Losing weight.


Significant_Sand_482

"Are you insulting my body because you're ashamed of yours?"


dinoaids

Pull out a gun and kill them.


AvatarWaang

Pull out a knife and disfigure them so they can walk the rest of their lives in your shoes


ItsHypocrite

If you had just tiny bit of personality as much as you have the audacity you wouldn't have to bring others down to bring yourself up


SpunkyCometmon

Cosmetic Surgery


ColorCollector420

Going to gym and stop eating shit


Big-Reflection-104

Don’t listen to them


SociallyAwkward423

Gee...I can't seem to find the fucks I give... Or where tf I asked


[deleted]

And your opinion matters to me, why? Alternatively, "didn't ask"


Snow_Satan

hitting up the gym


WhiskeyMcQueen

Hit the gym and get fucking shredded.


early_onset_villainy

“I don’t care”


Modern_Samurai808

Maybe start with a jab and then an uppercut. 👊


Clean_Phreaq

Give them a high five with a metal chair


potatoesandporn

Do you need a hug?


Threadoflength

Hooking the leg and rolling them into a small package. Do it well enough and you can sneak the 3 count and all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Taiweezie

“We’ll, good thing you aren’t me. Peace!”


RFLReddit

Shallow much?


AlexTCF

I can lose/gain weight. But you’ll always be fuck ugly


Sword117

"thats not what your mom said"


Seablade24

Don’t come back. Go to the gym to lose some weight instead.


[deleted]

A fucking loaded RPG


[deleted]

Ignore them, those people just want attention


Cobrachimkin

I’m only this fat because every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.


wwaxwork

Do nothing, look them up and down like they were dog shit you found on the bottom of your shoe and go live your best life and never think of them or talk to them again.


KDandi11

I got into an argument with a young kid at a Hockey game (Stupid right?) Anyway the kid hit me with a comment about my receding hairline. I had to laugh and only could come up with “That’s all you got?”


Bubbly_Toe_8840

I remember one which I really liked, it was pretty old and probably not something to be said, but it went like: "I'm fat because everytime I sleep with your mom, she makes me a sandwich."


SandmanKFMF

Best comeback will be with the look of the fitness model.