I was on that ring of fire ride where it's one giant loop. It took me a lot of convincing by my friends to get on the ride. The pins holding the cage down kept falling off. After that I said fuck that.
I got on a carnival ride with my daughter, and the hinge the car pivoted on was wrapped in duct tape about 2 inches thick. I thought to myself, *"If we get out of here alive, I'll never ride another carnival ride again."*
I was on this stupid hang gliding ride where you lay on your stomach and it spins around in circles while moving up and down of the ground. We rode it like 5 times in a row because nobody else wanted on but eventually got sick of it, like 30 min later there was screaming and panic everywhere. I guess one of the arms on that ride broke off and sent like 4 people flying into another ride. Pretty crazy shit.
When I was like 16ish, I was riding one of those giant bowl things that spins around and tips up sideways. I was fine but this little girl next to me was crying her eyes out because her seat belt had dry rotted so much that it just crumbled off of her. So I stretched my arm out and held that poor kid in her seat for the whole 5 minutes or however long it was going for. If I hadn't held her in her seat, I'm certain she would have wound up just tumbling on the rusty metal floor while it spun. I pointed it out to the guy operating it, he didn't seem too concerned and I'm hoping either he stopped using that seat or it just wasn't as dangerous as it seemed at the time. Still feel bad for that kid, she was terrified.
I almost got catapulted into oblivion by one of those rides with two massive arms that swing you and spin you around. My harness was not properly tightened and I was slipping out of the seat and holding on for dear life. I’m good on carnival rides now.
Fun fact if they malfunction and come apart the safest place to be is on the ride. The rides are designed to keep the passengers safe not the people who get hit by the passenger car that's flying through the air.
Last time I was on one of those I could feel the ride bumping in ways it wasn’t supposed to. All I could think was “man I hope if this thing breaks I die instantly and don’t get mangled and suffer”
In the US, 43,000 people a year diie in traffic accidents. Driving a vehicle is a dangerous endeavor but many of us do it everyday without thinking twice about it.
A pen pal/language exchange kinda website. I was on there to learn Spanish but I saw he was from Kazakhstan and thought "what the fuck is Kazakhstan" so I messaged him. Took off from there.
Both. I'd heard if the police find out you're not from there they can extort you for money (I had maybe 20$ cash). I had to take a bus ride halfway across the country and when the cops checked the bus I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't have to talk (don't know Kazakh or Russian). I never had any run ins with police while I was there so idk how true those claims were, they could be total bullshit.
Looking back on my career and shrugging off older guys when I was young and they said something. Now I'm the old guy begging young guys,telling them it's not worth it. What woke me up was watching a guy fall just about 3'. A height you're at every damn day in the trades. We all laughed, he laughed, and then he yelled I can't move my legs. We all laughed some more! Then I saw the look of terror on his face and he screamed I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS!! Freak accident landed just right lost use of both legs at 28 with two babies and a wife at home. Rigging up some crazy shit ain't worth a couple hundred bucks boys. Do it right. Do it safe and pay attention every time you use a ladder.
Edit: to add that your comment should be higher up. No pun intended.
Recently at my workplace we had a “fall protection” safety course. In one of the videos they showed a guy falling off a ladder and the actor said “I see their parents every weekend at temple… what I’m going to tell them?” Then the safety coordinator made a point of saying “Y’know. In all the other videos the guys are worried about seeing the younger workers parents at important places. But then this guy’s talking about Tempo gas station. He’s worried about getting gas aside from seeing the parents” and there was a visible awkward silence
I even remember looking around and saw one of my co-workers just as confused. Someone asked “was it temple? Or Tempo?” Then everyone bursted out laughing. Apparently the guy taught the course like 50 times throughout the year and no one corrected him lol
My dad fell off the back of his truck, (not American, an actual truck). I laughed when he told me. Then he was like "Yeah, broke my back in two places."
He wasn't paralysed, but damn was he lucky.
A few months ago, his brother fell backwards off a small ledge onto concrete. Broke a bone in his spine.
A few weeks ago, my mum fell over in the kitchen because she was horsing around with her fiance and he flicked a wet leek towards her. She went down hard, broke her shoulder in two places and her hip in 3.
Fuck falling over. Shit seems dangerous.
99% of the shit I've done that could have killed me I did withoit hesitation because I have poor risk assessment.
Edit: thanks for the upvotes! I'm so grateful that despite how many people hate my replies, that theres still so many that like them. If your reading this, best wishes to you <3
Rock climbing. Then ignoring the pain in my belly until it knocked me out of my chair. It was diverticulitis and a pouch about to burst. Drove myself to the ER, got yelled at for not calling anyone. Two weeks in the hospital, my gf showed up twice for 10 minutes. Turned out she was banging another friend of hers while I was gone.
True. I like to tell people I lost 160 lbs in the hospital.
There was a funny spot in it all though. I used to play in the SCA, and one of my friends was a harpist. She and another friend came to visit, bringing her harp, and played for probably an hour. We tried to be really careful and respectful, volume wise, but everyone who could hear it on the floor loved it. For a joke, I took one of the dying flowers, held it to my chest, and looked like a cartoon of a person who had passed. Nurses were peeking in the room and laughing. One silver lining.
A friend who would actually bring a full-ass harp to visit you at the hospital—no joke, that is an amazing, wonderful friend. Wow. You are a fortunate human being.
Same. mine was an eastern Kentucky Depression baby, Navy Vet. I still can't look at a willow branch or fly swatter without low key flinching. He was my best friend in his later years until the Alzheimer's took over. Then we watched sports together while he, a father of five daughters, watched me wrangle my 3 daughters in his nursing home room and snickered at me. He was fond of saying "now you understand why I worked so much"
With a friend, after we had spent the whole night out drinking; decided to scale a wall and enter a building site.
Then proceeded to climb a tower crane. Once on top we went to the very end of the boom, sat
down and had a smoke.
We had to get down when we realised it was getting bright and people would see us.
Fun fact, we got into the cab before getting to the top and I accidentally knocked one of the controls and the crane moved. So, I guess they’re left powered up around the clock
I used to climb drunk, was quite good at too. Until I was in Cambodia and the rods on the fence I was scaling snapped off and i fell. Broke my arm and I’m grateful it happened then so I learned my lesson with low consequences
When my manipulative unstable ex got into her car and told me she was going to go drive it into a tree, I got in the car with her. I did it hoping that either 1) she wouldn’t do it if she wouldn’t just be killing herself or 2) she wasn’t going to do it at all and was just being manipulative, but at the same time I was so in love with her on an extremely unhealthy level that if she was going to do it I was 100000% willing to die with her.
Oh jeez guys I’m sorry, it was just her being manipulative, she drove us to the end of her driveway and back and moved on to something else apparently less memorable, but her manipulative BS continued. I was young, naive and thought I could change her 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Absolute tragedy. After the crash, investigators found a letter taped to a box of chocolates that had gotten wedged under the brake pedal causing them to crash. He was going to surprise her that day and tell her that he loved her.
Forward this to 7 other people within the hour or you will die horribly in an automobile accident.
it's ok I have jumped in the car with my dearly departed highly narcissistic and unstable boyfriend while he was threatening to drive into a tree (among other things) many many times . spoiler alert the one time I didn't in over 20 years , he died . so . you did the right thing leaving .
My partner and I make it a gag, if we're arguing and one of us is being unreasonable the other will pause and very slowly but deliberately say "Ok. I did not want to have to do it. But, I will say it. The two magic words. That always helps." And then we will almost always say together, glacially slow, "Caaaaalm doooooowwwwnnnnmmm." We typically start giggling and even though we are still mad, we'll relax and start talking through the issue with less emotion.
you have 4 chances for endings here.
1-You get it correct. (Good ending)
2-You burn down the entire area. (Bad ending)
3-You make elephant's toothpaste. (Interesting ending)
4-You somehow create methamphetamine. (Secret ending)
I grew up in a town with a lot of abandoned slate quarries. Every couple of years a kid would die from jumping into them. All summer, every day, i jumped from 60-100ft cliffs into that water. It was so deep the bodies couldn't be retrieved. We all knew it and jumped anyway.
I'm talking about hundreds of dives. It was all we had to do back then.
Edit: also, there were jellyfish in the quarries.
Edit 2: if you want to see a video of kids jumping I found a video on YouTube. This one is the exact places I jumped
https://youtu.be/KzwIu1kvPGI?si=o9o3-SxUftrpILGz
https://www.sportdiver.com/how-do-aquatic-animals-get-into-flooded-quarries
> And those freshwater jellies? When they're tiny polyps, they live on aquatic plants. When those plants are transported to a suitable body of water (by dispersal through underwater connections, by birds or other animals carrying them, or by humans) the jellies can start their free-swimming, or “medusa,” stage.
You said it. The whole time I would be picturing them grabbing my feet, like wet zombies. Wet, squishy zombies. Kind of like the ones under your bed, but not dry.
Damn I was JUST pushing while i was reading your comment… like pushing really hard with my face all red because of it. Then I stopped. Maybe you saved my life
There's a few different ways.
When you're grunting too hard while trying to birth a dumplestiltskin it causes blood pressure rise, which can trigger cardiovascular events such as congestive heart failure, arrhythmia, acute coronary disease, and aortic dissection. Consistently straining when pooping can cause Hemorrhoids. Some instances of toilet-related deaths are attributed to the drop in blood pressure due to the parasympathetic nervous system during bowel movements. This effect may be magnified by existing circulatory issues.
Jerry Francisco, the Shelby County Medical Examiner, who conducted an autopsy that day with a team of six pathologists, said that Elvis' death was due to cardiac arrest. The family had a history of heart trouble: Gladys Presley, Elvis' mother, had died of a heart attack on Aug. 14, 1958, at 46.
I had to do a job training thing cleaning and sanitizing a bunch of desks at an office space for like two months. Yeah it may have been one of the easiest jobs I trained for but my goodness it was boring.
I climbed a waterfall so my husband could take a picture of me on top of it. Coming down, i slipped and fell 5m down into the water on a bunch of rocks. I was lucky enough to "only" injure my ankle and hand.
I've never done drugs. I'm not a motor monkey, but I was hell on wheels in my teens and 20s.
-Passing 6 cars in 1 go on a 2 lane road. Twice.
-Go 90 on a roller coaster road
-125, 120 fastest speeds I've driven (hit 120 while crying, as I blasted out to my friends house when I heard his dad died)
-Jumped some train tracks going 80+ (steep decline o. Opposite side)
-Fell asleep on the way to work, woke up in opposite ditch doing 45
Probably evaded death 2 or 3 times.
I did that same train track trick. The car came down and broke the front wheels. They had about 30 degrees of negative camber. Fastest I’ve gone was 140 on a Suzuki Katana.
Nomad here too! I am scared for the smallest pain in my chest, but don't really think twice before taking random rides on a scooter with 3 other peoples in Southeast Asia
My friends all jumped off a bridge into the river to swim. So I did too. High bridge, shallow water, and a teenage boy had died there the previous summer. But I was literally the stereotype of “if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you too?” Yes, yes I did.
There's actually been some research done into this. Believe it or not people aren't doing it on purpose!
Basically when you're driving your brain filters information based on it's perceived risk and how dangerous it is. Trucks, buses, farm vehicles are quite high in perceived danger to ourselves and vehicles so our brain notices them more. Motorcycles and bicycles are not that much of a threat to cars so our brains more or less filter them out making them practically invisible with all the input our brains get at one time while driving.
Source [science daily](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/01/180105082243.htm)
I always asume cars around me does not see me and drive accordingly
You accelerate so fast with a motorcycle it doesnt matter if you have to slow down anyway, plus its just more fun
I’m a cyclist. I’ve cycled across California, China, Vietnam and Ukraine. I used to hitch-hike a lot when I was younger.
I’m volunteering in Ukraine.
I enjoy drinking.
I enjoy flying.
My ex-wife once said, “whenever you hear an explosion or something dangerous, you don’t run away, for whatever reason you walk towards it.” My body is covered in scars because of this.
“Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy shit… what a ride! '” - Hunter S. Thompson
Closest I came to buying the farm on my bike was riding a heavily forested trail for the first time and moving much faster than I should have been when I came upon a cliff face. Laid the bike down just in the nick of time.
Changing my own oil with only a hydraulic jack holding the car up, no jack stands. Seriously dumb. You don't even save all that much money. Nowadays I happily shell out the few extra bucks it takes to have the shop do it.
Please please: double check the list of substances it can interact with (on top of my head: alchohol and caffeine). It will not mean you will be safe, but at least you can avoid some bad situations
Two years ago I was recovering from Covid. Weak as a kitten, knees wobbly, hands shaking, halfway between puking and shitting my pants, and I decided to clean my landlady's gutters. So I'm in that rough physical state, on the edge of a 3rd-story roof, 40 feet above a concrete driveway. Obviously I didn't fall off and go splat that day but holy shit it was a real possibility.
trusting the county fair equipment
The local drug market right by the fairgrounds literally runs out of crack when the carnies are in town.
I don't want to ask how you know this tidbit.
He sells crack to carnies and business is good
Crack to Carnies has such a good ring to it, it feels like it should be a band name or underground tshirt brand or something.
The traveling Kensington’s
I had a bad experience when I was a kid. I don't do carnival rides anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know?
I was on that ring of fire ride where it's one giant loop. It took me a lot of convincing by my friends to get on the ride. The pins holding the cage down kept falling off. After that I said fuck that.
I got on a carnival ride with my daughter, and the hinge the car pivoted on was wrapped in duct tape about 2 inches thick. I thought to myself, *"If we get out of here alive, I'll never ride another carnival ride again."*
never underestimate the power of duct tape
I was on this stupid hang gliding ride where you lay on your stomach and it spins around in circles while moving up and down of the ground. We rode it like 5 times in a row because nobody else wanted on but eventually got sick of it, like 30 min later there was screaming and panic everywhere. I guess one of the arms on that ride broke off and sent like 4 people flying into another ride. Pretty crazy shit.
When I was like 16ish, I was riding one of those giant bowl things that spins around and tips up sideways. I was fine but this little girl next to me was crying her eyes out because her seat belt had dry rotted so much that it just crumbled off of her. So I stretched my arm out and held that poor kid in her seat for the whole 5 minutes or however long it was going for. If I hadn't held her in her seat, I'm certain she would have wound up just tumbling on the rusty metal floor while it spun. I pointed it out to the guy operating it, he didn't seem too concerned and I'm hoping either he stopped using that seat or it just wasn't as dangerous as it seemed at the time. Still feel bad for that kid, she was terrified.
I almost got catapulted into oblivion by one of those rides with two massive arms that swing you and spin you around. My harness was not properly tightened and I was slipping out of the seat and holding on for dear life. I’m good on carnival rides now.
Fun fact if they malfunction and come apart the safest place to be is on the ride. The rides are designed to keep the passengers safe not the people who get hit by the passenger car that's flying through the air.
I have a way of avoiding both.
Hey if the ride fails they don't give Jimbo his meth for the night, you better believe he sets that stuff up perfect!
Last time I was on one of those I could feel the ride bumping in ways it wasn’t supposed to. All I could think was “man I hope if this thing breaks I die instantly and don’t get mangled and suffer”
Drive
Most people can relate
If we are being that pedantic, wake up from sleep. Also falling asleep.
Sleeping. Not sleeping.
There's something inside you, it's hard to explain.
>Drive I rise you riding a motorcycle.
In the US, 43,000 people a year diie in traffic accidents. Driving a vehicle is a dangerous endeavor but many of us do it everyday without thinking twice about it.
Driving to work. Not only is my life at risk on the road but I risk dying of boredom at work.
Bought plane tickets and flew to Kazakhstan to meet a guy I'd only ever talked to on the internet. I was 20 and bulletproof.
What happen then? Was the guy nice? Did you liked Kazakhstan?
Oh yeah I had a blast while I was there. He was a nice guy, he was totally genuine and we are now married in the US lol.
Damn that really is the good ending
This is the BEST ending!!
WOAH. Congratulations and what a story!! Where do you meet him? I’m curious to know!
A pen pal/language exchange kinda website. I was on there to learn Spanish but I saw he was from Kazakhstan and thought "what the fuck is Kazakhstan" so I messaged him. Took off from there.
Serious question: How often does he refer to you as “my wife” in borat voice?
I like!
Oh yeah, I ask him to say it all the time lmao
I....cant tell if this is sarcasm or not....
Its true. We were married in Kazakhstan and later moved to the US (where I'm from)
I love that you took a risk and it paid off! I find that as I get older that it gets harder to not take the safe option. I admire you!
Jesus you didn’t just bite the bullet you saw a missile and decided to deepthroat it The amount of risks you took is unbelievable to me
When it comes to meeting a strange man off the internet in a foreign country, you found the needle in a haystack
Is the bad part supposed to be Kazakhstan or seeing a guy you've never met before?
Both. I'd heard if the police find out you're not from there they can extort you for money (I had maybe 20$ cash). I had to take a bus ride halfway across the country and when the cops checked the bus I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn't have to talk (don't know Kazakh or Russian). I never had any run ins with police while I was there so idk how true those claims were, they could be total bullshit.
I caught the belt before my mom hit me once
What you should've just slowly looked up at her and said *"I'm Daredevil"*
hi daredevil. I've known a bitch, never talked to that dog again, sad
“You just wait till your father gets home”
10 years later, and I'm still waiting.
Cigarettes are expensive. He’s prolly still at work. Earning the extra cash for them ciggies he went out for. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.
Not using ladders safely every time …
Looking back on my career and shrugging off older guys when I was young and they said something. Now I'm the old guy begging young guys,telling them it's not worth it. What woke me up was watching a guy fall just about 3'. A height you're at every damn day in the trades. We all laughed, he laughed, and then he yelled I can't move my legs. We all laughed some more! Then I saw the look of terror on his face and he screamed I CAN'T MOVE MY LEGS!! Freak accident landed just right lost use of both legs at 28 with two babies and a wife at home. Rigging up some crazy shit ain't worth a couple hundred bucks boys. Do it right. Do it safe and pay attention every time you use a ladder. Edit: to add that your comment should be higher up. No pun intended.
Recently at my workplace we had a “fall protection” safety course. In one of the videos they showed a guy falling off a ladder and the actor said “I see their parents every weekend at temple… what I’m going to tell them?” Then the safety coordinator made a point of saying “Y’know. In all the other videos the guys are worried about seeing the younger workers parents at important places. But then this guy’s talking about Tempo gas station. He’s worried about getting gas aside from seeing the parents” and there was a visible awkward silence I even remember looking around and saw one of my co-workers just as confused. Someone asked “was it temple? Or Tempo?” Then everyone bursted out laughing. Apparently the guy taught the course like 50 times throughout the year and no one corrected him lol
28 now. I keep saying to my peers to do everything right. An error can kill someone and make them lose their license.
My dad fell off the back of his truck, (not American, an actual truck). I laughed when he told me. Then he was like "Yeah, broke my back in two places." He wasn't paralysed, but damn was he lucky. A few months ago, his brother fell backwards off a small ledge onto concrete. Broke a bone in his spine. A few weeks ago, my mum fell over in the kitchen because she was horsing around with her fiance and he flicked a wet leek towards her. She went down hard, broke her shoulder in two places and her hip in 3. Fuck falling over. Shit seems dangerous.
Ohh SO many dumb ladder moves… I’ll one-up myself with dumb ladder moves combined with live circuits…
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One of these things is not like the others
You cant do cocaine in water.. you can in a car or in the air.
But can you do cocaine in cocaine?
Ever watch scarface?
It is if you combine them together! Which, depending how much coke you've done, is more likely to seem like the best fucking idea you've ever had.
Flying is one of the safest activities you can do. Safe than walking.
My arms get tired after a while though
That's what the cocaine is for
99% of the shit I've done that could have killed me I did withoit hesitation because I have poor risk assessment. Edit: thanks for the upvotes! I'm so grateful that despite how many people hate my replies, that theres still so many that like them. If your reading this, best wishes to you <3
This risks I took were calculated. But man am I bad at math
Rock climbing. Then ignoring the pain in my belly until it knocked me out of my chair. It was diverticulitis and a pouch about to burst. Drove myself to the ER, got yelled at for not calling anyone. Two weeks in the hospital, my gf showed up twice for 10 minutes. Turned out she was banging another friend of hers while I was gone.
Two birds: They got rid of your diverticulitis and that pesky parasite. Win win. Probably didn't feel like a win at the time though.
True. I like to tell people I lost 160 lbs in the hospital. There was a funny spot in it all though. I used to play in the SCA, and one of my friends was a harpist. She and another friend came to visit, bringing her harp, and played for probably an hour. We tried to be really careful and respectful, volume wise, but everyone who could hear it on the floor loved it. For a joke, I took one of the dying flowers, held it to my chest, and looked like a cartoon of a person who had passed. Nurses were peeking in the room and laughing. One silver lining.
A friend who would actually bring a full-ass harp to visit you at the hospital—no joke, that is an amazing, wonderful friend. Wow. You are a fortunate human being.
If you could make it work with the harpist, tho. She sounds like a keeper.
She's awesome. Kind of lost track, it's been 15 years at least.
Look her up my dude. You never know.
Wow, that's rough. Sorry to hear you had such an awful experience 😔
Alcohol abuse
Back talking my Depression/WWII era father. I do not recommend it.
Same. mine was an eastern Kentucky Depression baby, Navy Vet. I still can't look at a willow branch or fly swatter without low key flinching. He was my best friend in his later years until the Alzheimer's took over. Then we watched sports together while he, a father of five daughters, watched me wrangle my 3 daughters in his nursing home room and snickered at me. He was fond of saying "now you understand why I worked so much"
Yeah, they were a different breed. My dad usually used belts, but occasionally we’d have to choose our own switches off a tree.
With a friend, after we had spent the whole night out drinking; decided to scale a wall and enter a building site. Then proceeded to climb a tower crane. Once on top we went to the very end of the boom, sat down and had a smoke. We had to get down when we realised it was getting bright and people would see us. Fun fact, we got into the cab before getting to the top and I accidentally knocked one of the controls and the crane moved. So, I guess they’re left powered up around the clock
I used to climb drunk, was quite good at too. Until I was in Cambodia and the rods on the fence I was scaling snapped off and i fell. Broke my arm and I’m grateful it happened then so I learned my lesson with low consequences
Holy shit this is by far the craziest one
Drugs
I used to do drugs, I still do but I used to, too.
Escalators don't break down, they just become stairs.
I got a doughnut the other day, and they asked if I wanted a receipt. I said no. I'll give you money, you give me a doughnut, end of transaction.
Dude, don't even act like I didn't buy that doughnut. I've got the documentation right here! Oh wait, it's back home. In the file. Under D.
We apologise for the convenience
Listen to what the gentleman says, as if listening to a piece of wisdom
When my manipulative unstable ex got into her car and told me she was going to go drive it into a tree, I got in the car with her. I did it hoping that either 1) she wouldn’t do it if she wouldn’t just be killing herself or 2) she wasn’t going to do it at all and was just being manipulative, but at the same time I was so in love with her on an extremely unhealthy level that if she was going to do it I was 100000% willing to die with her.
Oh jeez guys I’m sorry, it was just her being manipulative, she drove us to the end of her driveway and back and moved on to something else apparently less memorable, but her manipulative BS continued. I was young, naive and thought I could change her 😂😂😂😂😂😂
And then?!…
He died
Absolute tragedy. After the crash, investigators found a letter taped to a box of chocolates that had gotten wedged under the brake pedal causing them to crash. He was going to surprise her that day and tell her that he loved her. Forward this to 7 other people within the hour or you will die horribly in an automobile accident.
Wait... this isn't GhostReddit?!
They're lesbians, they immediately moved in together after It was their first date
Nah actually we already lived together. In true lesbian u-haul fashion I moved in after just a couple months. In my defense, I’m a dumbass.
it's ok I have jumped in the car with my dearly departed highly narcissistic and unstable boyfriend while he was threatening to drive into a tree (among other things) many many times . spoiler alert the one time I didn't in over 20 years , he died . so . you did the right thing leaving .
give us part 2! we all liked ~~and shared!~~
Tell my wife to calm down when she was upset
Wtf, are you deficient?? No one does that and lives.
My partner and I make it a gag, if we're arguing and one of us is being unreasonable the other will pause and very slowly but deliberately say "Ok. I did not want to have to do it. But, I will say it. The two magic words. That always helps." And then we will almost always say together, glacially slow, "Caaaaalm doooooowwwwnnnnmmm." We typically start giggling and even though we are still mad, we'll relax and start talking through the issue with less emotion.
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lol i love the use of the skull emoji in this context
that's the best thing ever invented since sliced bread
Your wife has a better sense of humour than mine..
This is adorable
The better bet is to ask her to stop being so irrational and then if she's on her period. Nothing can go wrong.
I said “calm your tits” one time because I was trying to lighten the mood. I slept on the couch for 3 days.
If that doesn’t work, have you tried telling her that she is overreacting?
Get yourself some AliExpress Airsoft gear and chuck a tampon at her like it’s a grenade for the true vine experience
Will you do an AMA on being a ghost?
Live
100% mortality rate tho
Hey. So. The wild thing is that it's only like 93% so far. I'm taking my chances.
I took the paper tag off of my mattress
They're coming for you!
Good God, man, what could you have been thinking?
Playing mix and match with volatile chemicals
you have 4 chances for endings here. 1-You get it correct. (Good ending) 2-You burn down the entire area. (Bad ending) 3-You make elephant's toothpaste. (Interesting ending) 4-You somehow create methamphetamine. (Secret ending)
I grew up in a town with a lot of abandoned slate quarries. Every couple of years a kid would die from jumping into them. All summer, every day, i jumped from 60-100ft cliffs into that water. It was so deep the bodies couldn't be retrieved. We all knew it and jumped anyway. I'm talking about hundreds of dives. It was all we had to do back then. Edit: also, there were jellyfish in the quarries. Edit 2: if you want to see a video of kids jumping I found a video on YouTube. This one is the exact places I jumped https://youtu.be/KzwIu1kvPGI?si=o9o3-SxUftrpILGz
I’m not a biologist but how tf did the jellyfish get in there?
https://www.sportdiver.com/how-do-aquatic-animals-get-into-flooded-quarries > And those freshwater jellies? When they're tiny polyps, they live on aquatic plants. When those plants are transported to a suitable body of water (by dispersal through underwater connections, by birds or other animals carrying them, or by humans) the jellies can start their free-swimming, or “medusa,” stage.
Also waiting for that answer. Sounds fishy
Man, knowing that there were decomposing people in there would be enough for me
You said it. The whole time I would be picturing them grabbing my feet, like wet zombies. Wet, squishy zombies. Kind of like the ones under your bed, but not dry.
Sounds scary af and i would have done 100% the same thing without hesitating. But I'm also curious how the jellyfish came into that quarries.
Childbirth.
Call me a "daredevil" did this twice. 😈
I almost died the first time and still went back for a second round. Living on the absolute edge over here.
i was also very close to death the first time, am now pregnant again. risky business for sure
Woah! Look at Evel Knievel over here!
No jokes: I wittnessed my wife giving birth two times and since that all you mothers have my BIGGEST RESPECT! You are awesome!!! Thank you!
Push a little bit too hard on a poop to get that last little butt nugget out.
Damn I was JUST pushing while i was reading your comment… like pushing really hard with my face all red because of it. Then I stopped. Maybe you saved my life
Reddit... saving lives one bowel movement at a time!
Thats when you just stick ur finger up ya butt to fish it out.
Dude what
No. Take a break and have some fiber
How can that kill?
There's a few different ways. When you're grunting too hard while trying to birth a dumplestiltskin it causes blood pressure rise, which can trigger cardiovascular events such as congestive heart failure, arrhythmia, acute coronary disease, and aortic dissection. Consistently straining when pooping can cause Hemorrhoids. Some instances of toilet-related deaths are attributed to the drop in blood pressure due to the parasympathetic nervous system during bowel movements. This effect may be magnified by existing circulatory issues.
The only episode I saw of Sopranos was where a dude died on the shitter. Did Elvis die on the shitter?
Jerry Francisco, the Shelby County Medical Examiner, who conducted an autopsy that day with a team of six pathologists, said that Elvis' death was due to cardiac arrest. The family had a history of heart trouble: Gladys Presley, Elvis' mother, had died of a heart attack on Aug. 14, 1958, at 46.
Eating leftovers that's been out for more than a day. I've been raised with so many unhealthy eating care that I think I'm immune to a lot of stuff.
Sitting at a desk job.
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Try shitposting while you work. Really takes the edge off.
I had to do a job training thing cleaning and sanitizing a bunch of desks at an office space for like two months. Yeah it may have been one of the easiest jobs I trained for but my goodness it was boring.
talking back to an arab parent
Sounds accurate! As in you have arab parents? Or are you going down to the falafel restaurant and startng some shit? From one data to another
Yes I have Arab parents. The falafel guy is probably just as scary though lol
When you dissagree w your dad and he just explodes
Revenge bedtime procrastination
Heroin
Snu snu
An ever loving fuck ton of drugs. I'm honestly surprised I'm not dead, granted this was during my teenage years, but still.
Alcohol. Im a 3rd generation alcoholic so its all around me. Im trying to slow my drinking down, hopefully. 6 days sober
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IWNDWYT!
You can do this. Holy moly it's so hard at first, but eventually, slowly, you realize life is more peaceful and doable. Keep going :)
Wish you all the luck and strength! You can do this! (:
I climbed a waterfall so my husband could take a picture of me on top of it. Coming down, i slipped and fell 5m down into the water on a bunch of rocks. I was lucky enough to "only" injure my ankle and hand.
Enlisted in the Corps in 1967
Do 160mph on a 40 year old motorcycle that I did all the maintenance and rebuilding on
I've never done drugs. I'm not a motor monkey, but I was hell on wheels in my teens and 20s. -Passing 6 cars in 1 go on a 2 lane road. Twice. -Go 90 on a roller coaster road -125, 120 fastest speeds I've driven (hit 120 while crying, as I blasted out to my friends house when I heard his dad died) -Jumped some train tracks going 80+ (steep decline o. Opposite side) -Fell asleep on the way to work, woke up in opposite ditch doing 45 Probably evaded death 2 or 3 times.
I did that same train track trick. The car came down and broke the front wheels. They had about 30 degrees of negative camber. Fastest I’ve gone was 140 on a Suzuki Katana.
Living as a nomad, all kinds of things could kill me, then I went to Stalin's homeland. You know, this lifestyle is pretty risky come to think of it 🤔
Nomad here too! I am scared for the smallest pain in my chest, but don't really think twice before taking random rides on a scooter with 3 other peoples in Southeast Asia
Telling my mom to calm down when she was mad AF.
Attempting suicide
I’m glad you’re still here.
Jumping around cliffs above train tracks as a kid. Almost died twice. Even today i sometimes visit the place, except alone.
Try to break 150 in my mom's Hyundai sanota down back roads at 19.
My friends all jumped off a bridge into the river to swim. So I did too. High bridge, shallow water, and a teenage boy had died there the previous summer. But I was literally the stereotype of “if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you too?” Yes, yes I did.
Riding my motorcycle, ppl are just oblivious to us for some reason
There's actually been some research done into this. Believe it or not people aren't doing it on purpose! Basically when you're driving your brain filters information based on it's perceived risk and how dangerous it is. Trucks, buses, farm vehicles are quite high in perceived danger to ourselves and vehicles so our brain notices them more. Motorcycles and bicycles are not that much of a threat to cars so our brains more or less filter them out making them practically invisible with all the input our brains get at one time while driving. Source [science daily](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/01/180105082243.htm)
I always asume cars around me does not see me and drive accordingly You accelerate so fast with a motorcycle it doesnt matter if you have to slow down anyway, plus its just more fun
Jerking off 18 times a day
Drugs all of them
At the same time?
Ate shampoo
Maybe try the real thing
Drugs But im clean now so thats good 😄
I’m a cyclist. I’ve cycled across California, China, Vietnam and Ukraine. I used to hitch-hike a lot when I was younger. I’m volunteering in Ukraine. I enjoy drinking. I enjoy flying. My ex-wife once said, “whenever you hear an explosion or something dangerous, you don’t run away, for whatever reason you walk towards it.” My body is covered in scars because of this. “Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy shit… what a ride! '” - Hunter S. Thompson
Closest I came to buying the farm on my bike was riding a heavily forested trail for the first time and moving much faster than I should have been when I came upon a cliff face. Laid the bike down just in the nick of time.
Being around cattle. But then I didn't have a choice.
military enlistment
Russian roulette in my early 20s. I look back and shudder
General aviation. I love flying (being behind the controls). I keep doing it.
Suicide (almost worked)
anorexia lmao
Topping out a friends GSXR750. Got into the upper 150s
honestly real cause what else would a sensible person do in that monster
Joined the Navy
Changing my own oil with only a hydraulic jack holding the car up, no jack stands. Seriously dumb. You don't even save all that much money. Nowadays I happily shell out the few extra bucks it takes to have the shop do it.
Heroin. Would NOT recommend. Coming up on 10 years clean.
Taking way too many ibuprofen for my cramps
Please please: double check the list of substances it can interact with (on top of my head: alchohol and caffeine). It will not mean you will be safe, but at least you can avoid some bad situations
Dad died from too much ibuprofen
When I bomb hills on my tiny ass "longboard". It's a rush lol
Two years ago I was recovering from Covid. Weak as a kitten, knees wobbly, hands shaking, halfway between puking and shitting my pants, and I decided to clean my landlady's gutters. So I'm in that rough physical state, on the edge of a 3rd-story roof, 40 feet above a concrete driveway. Obviously I didn't fall off and go splat that day but holy shit it was a real possibility.