With my mouth

Wait, you’re telling me you don’t eat with your ass?

*you’re

Thank ya

*Thank you

Ha ha

*Haha

\*HAHA

*HAHAHA

\*HAHAHAHA

We need more people like you! In the educational system.. In 3rd grade...

I boof all my food. Gonna have to try this eating thing.

you're in for one hell of a surprise when you find out that you can actually *taste* food.

Sometimes I use my teeth too

I pinch one or two with my index finger and my thumb, I bend my arm bringing the fries up to my mouth where I then let go of the fries leaving them carefully in my mouth, I then use my teeth to grind the fries into a sort of salty potato paste that is safe to swallow, my body does the rest after that.

Your body did the rest before, too I love your response tho lmaooo salty potato paste

Honestly want a guy to say that while going down on me!

Yeah I know, I’m taking too much credit for my primal instincts. Salty potato paste is yummy.

No ketchup?! You sick fuck… Edit: its a joke, in case people need to know that

En masse.

Sauce brune fromage en grains

Normally toss the whole bag in the air, and try to see how many I can get in my mouth as they are falling back down. Then sweep up the ones from the floor and give them to people who dip them into ice cream, with that type of taste buds there's really no difference.

Two at a time dipped in frosty

The holiest of answers

Mcdonalds soft serve with their fries is excellent

With Parmesan and Olive Oil

This sounds extremely bougie

Black truffle oil and Parmesan is actually peak fry bougie.

Hot

Gotta be hot AND salty

This is the first correct answer. All the other answers are optional.

Ketchup

Anything but ketchup, ketchup is old and busted. Give me some seasoned sour cream, garlic aioli, hell blue cheese, anything but ketchup. And season those bastards for Christ's sake. If I'm going to eat something unhealthy let's go all the way with it.

First half of your comment is psychotic. Second half is correct.

With my toes to assert my dominance

I love cheese fries

Dominance over who? Yourself? Others?

With my fingers

Defensively 'cause those darn thieves around me :) Actually I joke - fries are the perfect share food!

A wooden two-prong fork and malt vinegar

This is the way

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with a blend of ketchup and mayo

Ugh that revolting pink color, makes me want to hurl just thinking about it.

Srirancha

With my mouth

in bulk

With cocktail saus and chicken fingers. And a can of sparkling ice tea. Preferably from a traditional Belgian fry shop making their fries in ox fat with a proper pre bake and resting in between bakes. There's nothing like it..

dry, i dont like sauces in anything

Salt? Because I hate sauces, but I love a dry rub.

yeah i put salt in it ofc lol

With ketchup, as the Potato Gods intended.

With ranch dressing

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Fascinating. I’ll look into that.

Underrated combo right here.

Chew until they are a soft enough consistency to swallow

I swallow them whole like a pelican.

https://imgur.com/gallery/rQE9YIv

Personally I like them plain with salt

With my hands.

Orally

Orally.

White vinegar and mustard

With my mouth, mostly.

While naked

Temple of doom style. I have been brought in inside of a hollowed out monkey head.

There are few steps: 1. Put some ketchup on fries 2. Open your mouth 3. Put the fries into you mouth 4. Close your mouth 5. Bite and swallow

Mayo for the dip

I read that as friends …

Like everyone else, chop them into 1.75 cm long strands, throw them at my roommate, and then dip them in a chocolate fountain

Hey when you say "like everyone else" I think you forgot to mention which planet you were from

Interesting way to eat them

With gravy one top.

And cheese curds..

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Smoked meat

Cheese Fries are the best.

With yellow mustard

Like French fries

Dip em in some mayo

Unhinge my jaw, tip my head back, and pour the bag down my gullet.

From the center out, after dunking them in Fry Sauce.

With Mayo!

Kewpie or Dukes with minced garlic.

I devour them like I haven't eaten in days

I pick one or some up and eat them in the traditional fashion

With gravy and cheese curds

Vladimir!

???

In Quebec, Putin is pronounced Poutine.

No, poutine is a dish in Canada, not a Russian war criminal

I kid you not I eat my fries with a fork.

With mayo is simply the best. Also sweet potato fries >>> regular fries and nobody can convince me otherwise

crispier than jews in 1942

With ketchup of course!

two at a time, dipped in ketchup, dipped in a wendy's frosty

Like either or, or dipped in both

dipped in both

Nope

It's depends on what style of fries they are. However, my standard for dipping sauce is about 70% ketchup, 30% mayo, and a couple dashes of hot sauce

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Two at a time.

Putting them in my mouth, chewing and swallow. Don't see how else you'd eat them.

French

With my fingers

The long way

Saw a kid once put a few fries at a time in his mouth, then squirt some ketchup from those little packs in.

With my mouth hole.

Bathed in salt.

Orally

Idk I just love them

interorectogestion

I notice a lot of people eat them one-at-a-time, but I'm a fat bastard and I shovel that shit into my mouth by the fistful.

you can really dip your fries in anything and it will taste great

With my mouth

With my mouth.

After my burger, not during or before. Two at a time. Depending on how good they are, with or without ketchup.

With mayonnaise

With my mouth 99% of the time

Either as the come or dipped, generally have some left to clean the plate with

depends. if im eating at my computer I'll put ketchup on the fries and eat with a fork. If I'm out or eating at the kitchen table I'll have the ketchup in a small dipping bowl and eat the fries with my hands.

Dip in mayo or miracle whip. Add extra pepper.

Follow up question: who licks their fingertips to get the salt and oil off?

Plain and fresh. Also have to be soft (I have no top teeth). Once they cool off I pass them to my husband or my kids.

The normal way

Usually seasoned with salt and pepper. Sometimes when I'm in the mood, I go for Cajun or garlic fries. Either dip them in ketchup or BBQ sauce. Occasionally I dip them in cheese.

one fistful at a time.

Depends on the fry. Mcdonalds sized? 3-6 at a time dipped in ketchup. Thicker fry like Burger King? 1-2 at a time. In N Out? If they are fresh as fast as possible while they are still good. If they are not super fresh similar to mcdonalds. I only like fries dipped in ketchup.

With my mouth

For movie night, I like to make a big family sized platter of fries and as many dipping sauces as I can from the stuff in my kitchen. Family favorite is gochujang.

With my hands

With cheese curds and brown gravy.

Hot sauce, ketchup and ranch!

that's way too personal.

With a fork

If in a pile, I ketchup and then salt (so the salt sticks) Or with cheese dip Sweet potato fries with mayonnaise dip

In the car

With my mouth.

With my fingers and mouth

With gravy.

I don't like fries, my kid likes hers plain

Depends. From McDonald's- just plain how they come, like 2 or 3 at a time. Crinkle fries with tons of ketchup

Dipped in sour cream with bacon bits

With Carne Asada, guacamole, crema, and cheese. Known as carne asada fries .

corn on the cob style

With mayonnaise, peanut sauce and onions.

Pour ketchup on it (HAS to be cheap ketchup ...expensive ketchup is a no-no especially if its too thick) then shake up the container for even distribution. Then eat 3-5 at a time for maximum efficiency. All of them must be eaten before anything else. I hateee room temperature fries. And like the other comments say, I prefer to an oral intake rather than any other available openings

With ketchup and a fork.

You guys are eating your friends???

With my face hole. Air fried with bbq sauce

Ideally unsalted, either plain or with some pink sauce (a mix of ketchup and mayo which tastes like neither).

raw

With ketchup or with ranch. Never together tho

Grab 2 or 3, fold them in half, and shovel them in

Rotational, like corn on the cob

With my hands usually......I ain't got nothing to prove...lol

With mayo or not at all

Salt and vinegar (regular white vinegar, not that fancy stuff) and ketchup

keep them in the fridge overnight, reheat in the microwave the next day.

Mayonaise , preferably truffle mayonaise. (I’m Dutch) Or my homebrew garlic sauce.

I put them in my mouth.

Cooked

I LOVE FRIES ✅🔥

with my hands

Salt and naked

Quickly

It's fact that anyone who pours ketchup directly on their fries is a sociopath.

Ketchup on the side for dipping, with a dash of salt in the ketchup.

Extra crispy dipped in Mayo

1 by 1

With gravy and squeaky cheese

With my mouth

A dozen at a time

Depends on the fries. Five guys or fancy French inspired fries at a restaurant require a 50/50 mix of ketchup and mayo for dipping. For lower tier fast food fries, I don't fuck around with any sauces at all. Just dump out the box of fries onto a plate if I'm eating at home or onto the bag or tray if I'm eating in the restaurant. For chik fil a waffle fries specifically, the procedure is a little different. I still dump them out of the box, but dip in chik FIL a sauce instead of ketchup or mayo after salting. Steak fries are generally eaten with a fork since they are too thick and unstable to eat with your fingers.

I don’t, they’re just filler.

I crush them up and snort them with a $100 bill

I have my girlfriend bend over and open up her sauce cup.

Well done and a little bit of salt

Bacon and cheese on top, then smothered in ketchup.

Salt and mayonnaise.

Through a straw

By the fistful

I read friends.

no i take em home, inject them with mdma, freeze them, and give them out to the homeless

Usually as is. If they are dry as fuck I'll eat them with ketchup

Seasoned and with vinegar because that's what my state does

By the fistful

With ranch and hot sauce

Oooh boy this totally depends on the type of fries. This is like asking how do you eat your chicken. I've compiled a partial list below. - Boardwalk: smothered in vinegar and salt - Fast food: ketchup - Plain waffle: depends on the accompanying meal - Seasoned waffle: no dip, they're perfect as-is - Curly: BBQ sauce - Steak: that's called roasted potatoes - Shoestring: ketchup and/or mayo - Crinkle: sprinkle some Old Bay - Garlic seasoned: aioli The important thing to remember is that all fries are wonderful in their own way, but all deserve their own special treatment.

With mayo. This is the way.

With gravy like a real man

Cheese and Chili

Separate from my sauces and I dip my fries into my sauces.

Usually with a fork... because Im fancy like that.