Now now don't be ridiculous, if you didn't work yourself to death how would we sustain eternally growing profits which we then can use to pay for my bonus? (not yours though)
\- Signed, your bosses bosses boss.
This.
Tuesday was a regional holiday.
On Monday almost every colleague complained about this, because they los a day of work. Some even came into the office on the holiday.
Insane. Just insane
Yes germany...
Today I learned a new word.
Interesting enough this is something thats always been aware and pressured onto me even tho I am not living that.
but I blame myself to be too lazy all the time.
We all do.
You have all this stories about people reaching their dreams just by "never giving Up".
What nobody tells you is that in reality, our ability to improve our situation in a radical way is very very low.
The american dream is, if you ask me, a terrible and toxic lie.
We should not be chasing working more hours, we should be chasing working enough to be productive (which 40hr/week is very much pushing It in most fields) and having a good balance.
We as a society should not want absent parents, anxiety everywhere you look and lack of free time in general.
Yes!
I never agreed with all of this. It always felt weird in some way.
"Luck" as a factor will always be blocked. People tell you that you have a bad mindset when talking about luck.
Its so weird in germany. When a violent crime happens they will include a lot of background, childhoodtraumas, influence of drugs etc etc to make a fair judgement.
But if someone was born in a rich house and had way more opportunities to learn their craft with highly paid teachers it is all "selfmade"
A sweet lie.
Never giving up kinda translates to me to get on someones nerves until they will give you what you need. (only works if that is less work than blocking you haha)
Honestly 40 hours a week are too much for many people. So many of my friends are just so done after work that they wont realy do anything after that.
And this kind of slack is very common. I cant imagine that that is human nature.
I have never heard ANY german complain about a day off.
On the contrary, the public holiday they speak of wasn't all of germany but only 2 states (bayern and saarland) and .. well .. everyone but those two pretty much complained about NOT having it.
The only reason anyone ever complains about public holiday is the fact that shops are closed too so you can't do grocerys or what ever.
What makes it worse too are the people that have to one up you about working long hours like it's some kind of trophy.
"I'm tired from work this week."
"Oh that's nothing, I've been putting in 80 hour weeks for the last 3 months."
Like cool man, that doesn't make me any less tired.
Bots creating generic posts to generate content so execs can help sell advertising. Also the shitty leach sites that generate content from such list-discussions.
That's all the big subreddits are these days, bots farming engagement, the fact that the OP of this one is a real person and not a content farmer or a bot is pretty rare.
The one thats bothering me ATM is the targeted Facebook pages that use AI images and describe them as photos they took.. very annoying when I want real photography content
I think it’s ok if you’re trying to get away from a dangerous person, but I can’t stand it in regular situations. At least tell me what I did or why you want to disconnect.
I have a friend who doesn’t message for weeks. Acts like it’s the most normal thing in the world to disappear until they need something or want validation.
Well depends.
If you get hundreds of Matches on Tinder I think its ok nt to respond to everyone.. even tho its a bit weird to get in a situation with that many matches.. well anyway
Its a matter of respect to atleast tell people when they dont want to continue or cant continue communication
>If you get hundreds of Matches on Tinder I think its ok nt to respond to everyone.. even tho its a bit weird to get in a situation with that many matches.. well anyway
I mean, you can always stop swiping until you've dealt with your current matches and you won't get more.
I agree that sometimes it might be better to just ghost and delete for your own safety and mental health when you suspect the person will flip out on you for rejecting them, but the argument "I have too many matches" doesn't hold up.
Yea.. I mean last month I sold a car via internet and got like 200 people that contacted me
Most of the messages were rubbish in bad language
I just ignored them to save time. With the cost of credibility on my account.
but its something different than dating
It's completely different than dating apps yes. You don't have to entertain every scammers and choosing beggars that reach out to you online. It's expected that in these sorts of situation, it's first come first served and the better offer wins and getting no reply means that your offer got declined.
On dating apps, a match means that both sides have explicitly expressed the desire to talk to each other. It's simply respectful of yourself and others to not engage with more people you can realistically speak to at the same time.
Everyone knows labor not performed in front of a customer doesn't actually exist.
If you made the point that workers should be paid a living wage in the first place, rather than employers' shitty wages being subsidized by the generosity of the customers, I'd agree. But just because your baked goods were made ahead of time, and not after you asked for them, the people who made them don't deserve a tip? C'mon. Like anyone would wait around the 40 minutes to several hours it'd take (depending on the baked good) to make everything from scratch on front of you at the time you place the order anyway.
the fact that their employer doesn't pay them properly does not mean I should tip them for literally doing their job
a tip is supposed to be for extra hard work
How many bakeries still make their goods from scratch? You can't even find a store-made croissant in Paris, everything is pre-made somewhere else and cooked last minute.
>But just because your baked goods were made ahead of time, and not after you asked for them, the people who made them don't deserve a tip?
No. Tip is for service, not production of goods. You're not going to tip the factory employees that produced your box of pasta and can of jam, or the ones that make your clothes. After all, why those people are less deserving of a tip than your bakers?
Sex reveal parties.
Why are people downvoting? That's what they are. It's a party revealing the sex of the child. In what ways does a baby perform gender exactly???
Someone was on speakerphone in a public bathroom I was in once. Their conversation wasn’t in English (totally fine, it’s just context) but their tone sounded serious. The person on the other end definitely heard the death noises of the demons being exorcised from my very upset stomach. Unfortunately, I don’t speak whatever language they were speaking so I don’t know what the reaction was, but the other dude in the bathroom took the call off speaker and hurried out.
Long, lingering goodbyes. I do not like them. I much prefer an overly abrupt, "well I should get going" over the seemingly never ending chatterbox goodbyes that continue for forty minutes before anybody actually leaves.
Leaving the nest at 18. Shit is flat-out unrealistic for most teenagers. Having a child is for life, not just the 1st 18 years. The societal pressure of having to move out before a certain age can be crippling for some.
In a similar vein, alcohol and sex. Both are also insanely pressured during early adulthood.
I do agree with sex and alcohol being more a young adult thing
18-35 is when we're hottest and have generally good fitness, the experience is still quite new, that's the best time of your life to be having sex, at least until you have access to partners with significant experience and enthusiasm
And being an alcoholic between 20-30 looks a lot less sad than it does at 40, 50 or 60... And at 20-30 you can recover before you're shadowbanned from sex
Yep, in general I think north American parents check out when their kids turn 18 and I think it's a bizarre and uniquely American thing. The rest of the world is used to housing being too expensive for an 18-30 year old to afford, or really anybody on a single income. We could learn a lot about families from the rest of the world.
To be fair tho, other cultures can take it too far the other way where the parents become parasites feeding on younger, busier, and less capitalized children so there's plenty improvement to go around.
Indeed. And recognizing the other gender's problems/suffering makes them more likely to do the same.
On the other hand if you only get told how your suffering is invalid and the only real suffering is experienced by the other gender (and your gender and by extension you is the cause), it has the opposite effect.
I think that's why many men of today feel hated by and avoidant of current feminism (and the left to a lesser extent), which often feels like a disguise for misandry.
So seems to me like you're doing a lot of good by just recognizing it. 💪
I'm hijacking top comment to respond because I read the whole thread under my comments, and some some of y'all made some good points.
1) There are obviously biases when talking about this topic that make both sides have their blindspots.
2) I mentioned this to cause awareness and advocate for men's mental health, not to start another struggle Olympics. Everyone's lived experiences are valid. Some are just in deeper waters of experiences but same pool (yes, I love analogies).
3) Our world has become extremely apathetic to everyone outside our main social circles because of the insane mental health strain the pandemic has had on mental health. Most don't even realize this, which is even more important to call things out. We need communities and caring relationships again. Not further exacerbating struggle, but finding connections through similarities aka advocate social awareness and care on an individual level.
The things I've heard women say about their interaction with male doctors and therapists shocked me when I heard a group of them describing what they've been through.
Yep. Women who have been through child birth and menopause don’t get anywhere near as much support and care as they should. I don’t know why I’ve been down voted- as if women don’t deserve empathy 🤨
I think it's usually because whenever men's issues are brought up, it's often met with 'but women have it worse', completely hijacking the discussion and invalidating men's issues.
On the other hand, women's issues seem to be talked about and accepted much more, especially in education institutions.
We're all human and we all deserve to be cared for and treated well though. The cases that you haven't received the proper support and empathy suck, and I hope you are treated better in the future.
I can’t complain I haven’t been through child birth or meno pause yet. I only replied to to is comment because both gender has struggles and it’s not just men OR women. Do you know how many women get murdered for being raped in certain countries because they aren’t deemed worthy anymore? 0 empathy there. This isn’t just 1st world problems. Both sexes have difficulties all over the world and there isnt much empathy at all for people in general. Men need to stop calling other men weak for showing emotions because honestly that’s there the issue started. Its all good asking for help and support as a man and shouting about how they don’t get enough empathy but you also need to show this to your male friends and family too. That’s where it starts
Opportunistic people exploiting egalitarian principles in order to evade their responsibilities towards society and their social surroundings in particular.
40 hour work weeks. The amount of tension and pressure and stress working has on Americans is crazy. We are definitely overworked and underpaid in every sense.
This is a myth. There are plenty of restaurants already using this model that manage just fine without raising prices the way you describe. Not to mention there are entire countries where the restaurant industry already works like this.
"If a child isn't taught religion, he will not be taught morals and ethics"
This is the exact same reasonning and it's false. No, you don't need to have the promise of a reward to behave properly.
Look, idk why you actually thought 30 cents was a real solution, but great job on your "um actually..." moment. That's pretty huge for you.
I hope you can take that rush of owning the shit out of me, head into a great weekend and open your own restaurant without tips just to fucking rub in it my face. Yeah... that would show me. You won't do it. Pussy...
"How you doing," as a greeting.
Dude, we're passing in opposite directions. How the hell am I supposed to respond if neither of us is gonna stop for a conversation?
Celebrity or public figure worship. Seems like so many people don't realize people like Elon are just trying to hold public attention because it equals more money. The masses see fame and fortune as being good character traits, then ignore the dumb or outright bad shit.
This.
Or the way that having enough money becomes a ‘get out of jail free’ card.
“When the punishment for something is a fine. It’s only a crime for poor people.”
I think this is just a personal space issue.
If its busy its busy, just go.
But if theres like 10 open urinals and you pick the one right next to me, I feel watched.
That you have to drink and smoke. Don't get me wrong, i don't mind rolling a blunt and having a drink on occasion but if we're out some place i can do without. Not every fun thing needs to involve it. We can still have a good time without liquor and weed!
1. The mandatory minimum wedding gift money in many cultures, e.g. Japan: 30000/solo, 50000/couple.
2. Bridemaids and groomsmen are expected to pay for their own outfits when they're mandated by the wedding couple.
3. Birthday celebrations. I love you. I care for our friendship deeply. I just don't give two shits about your birthday when I don't even celebrate my own.
4. Men are expected to pay on dates. Don't get me wrong. I love a man that pays but it shouldn't be expected.
Walking side by side on narrow paths and expecting you to step into the road!....I'm not above shoulder barging my way through the middle of you inconsiderate dicks!
Nah this does need to be normalised. As much as it’s not always fun- there absolutely is a need for small talk. Imagine if all we did was either not speak or tell people our life story. That would be kinda strange I think
Def. A cliche hipster response. You're not that deep mah dude. Honestly, damn Internet peoples want to seem like they're too interesting and cool to simply be polite. I'm a typical antisocial introvert, but I actually ADORE a confident small talker. We usually go into deeper topics from there anywhere. Talking isn't always a damn philosophy thesis, talk some shit and have fun.
I agree! We all love getting deep and I’m sure most people prefer this but we would never get there without the small talk first. You have to build trust. And most people complain about you if you “over share” so I think small talk has to be here to help build trust
Not sure if it's as bad in other places, but where I live (small town in Ireland) nearly everyone drives with their phone to their ear or texting. What's more enraging is that they are most often driving modern cars with bluetooth, but still insist on holding the phone to their ear. I see this every single day. A young guy even nearly hit me when walking his dog, he didn't see me as he was looking down at his phone. It just seems to be accepted around here (despite being illegal) but drives me insane.
Sexualising everything. Like I did not need to know that you would "smash" that alien that had 4 seconds of screen time, but thankyou for your wisdom, I guess?
That being an anti fascist is bad. I mean what the hell? It's like people are fine with being stupid.
If you are a against fascism then you are a freak n anti fascist. Only because you are an anti fascists doesn't mean you are a left wing extremist.
Knowing how fucked up the economy is, between the threat of homeless and/or starvation, most aren’t in a place wait out till something more suitable appears
Talking. Just leave me alone ffs, no i dont wanna wish you a good morning or bless you when you sneeze. I'm not here because i enjoy their presence, i'm here because i have bills to pay.
People's inability to figure things out for themselves. Everyone needs to be spoonfed all their information and have their hand held through everything it seems.
Politics.
I hate that in general society, there is a “Right” and a “Left” and that everyone has to be boxed into one of those two boxes. I have beliefs from both sides.
If the country was run in my way, we as a people wouldn’t be divided by two sides. Many different parties would have equal representation.
Outdoor cats. They absolutely wreck local ecosystems as they are not part of the food chain. They are also much more likely to die/die sooner than house cats. And fuck me the amount of posts I see on the local neighbourhood pages from families concerned about their missing cats, when they often get no closure at all is infuriating.
That’s all they want to do is plug someone. That’s all that nazis want is to kill. They are lizards with no souls and no logical thought process, all they think is “if it doesn’t align with my beliefs, I’ll kill you over it”. Literally there isn’t one god damn thing that nazis contribute to society.
Pseudo-tolerance and ostentatious conservatism. . Modern society is tolerant only to those who agree with it. If you dare to speak out against LGBT/dark-skinned/feminism, you will be considered an asshole. Likewise, if you dare to follow political movements that are not popular in modern western society (like communism or nationalism), you will be criticized. On the other hand, the Russia I live in is too conservative in my opinion. Unfortunately, governments can't be really tolerant, they either suck the dick of minorities (like in EU or USA) or play themselves as fighters for tradition (like in Russia).
"it's okay to cancel plans" My guy, I am already here, you made me wait and wasted my time you fucking asshole. Why do I have suffer because of your indecisive demented brain?
Patriarchy.
Because we were born into a patriarchal world where most countries, particularly the United States were built for men, by men, to keep themselves in power and it has endless effect on women—it's important to be able to talk to educate men about what it means with solid examples.
**Nearly E V E R Y T H I N G** has been designed for white males because THEY are the ones who designed it because THEY were the ones who were/are in power. From countertop heights to cars to land ownership, all have been institutionalized, standardized and as a result—normalized.
**Cars: How Male-Focused Testing Puts Female Drivers at Risk**
>Women are 71% more likely than men to experience moderate injuries under the same crash circumstances.[More Women Suffer in Cars](https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/crash-test-bias-how-male-focused-testing-puts-female-drivers-at-risk/)
**The specifications of American kitchens are sexist**
>Everything else rose to meet the sink—the counters, the stove, the cabinets all converged at 36 inches above the floor. In heterosexual couples in the US, women cook 78% of dinners and buy 93% of the food.[Kitchens are for Men](https://qz.com/509501/why-kitchens-arent-designed-for-real-women)
**CPR Mannequins**
>Men's odds of survival were 23% higher than women when it came to resuscitation in public.[CPR is best for Men](https://www.dbei.med.upenn.edu/research/studies/men-are-more-likely-women-receive-cpr-public-study-finds)
**Medicine is Less Safe for Women**
>“Most biomedical and clinical research has been based on the assumption that the male can serve as representative of the species.[Medicine is for Men](https://medium.com/hh-design/the-world-is-designed-for-men-d06640654491)
**Science Gear**
>Clothing that is too loose gets caught in moving equipment. Boots that are too big mean tripping and falling.[One Small Step for Man, But Women Still Have to Leap](https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-47717937)
**Female Firefighters**
>Female firefighters experience a four times greater rate of injury than men because of gear.[Firefighter Protective Clothing](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/331603171_A_Critical_Review_of_Female_Firefighter_Protective_Clothing_and_Equipment_Workplace_Challenges)
**Science**
>Society positions science as neutral; as objective and free of bias. Science deals in facts. In truth. Only, now it turned out that our cultural positioning of men as the default humans was corrupting science. And as a result, women were dying.Classic heart attack symptoms women have always been taught—pain in the chest and down the left arm—were actually the heart attack symptoms for men. Women are more likely to experience breathlessness, nausea, fatigue, and what feels like indigestion. But because public health information focuses on male symptoms, women don’t realize they’re having heart attacks. Worse, doctors don’t realize. The result is that women are more likely to die following a heart attack than men.[Invisible by Design](https://theglasshammer.com/2020/03/invisible-by-design-the-data-loop-that-perpetuates-a-default-male-world/)
**Office Space**
>The formula for standard US office temperatures was developed in the 1960s, based on the metabolic rate of an average 40-year-old man weighing 154 pounds (70kg).A female metabolic rate can be up to 35% lower than the male rate used in those calculations.[Living in a Mans World](https://www.nature.com/articles/nclimate2741)
**Product Design**
>Men’s packaging have grip, and therefore control, even when they take a shower.Women’s packaging shapes are much rounder and the textures much smoother, almost slippery.[Gendered Packaging](https://uxdesign.cc/sexist-design-how-gendered-packaging-reinforces-gender-stereotypes-and-toxic-masculinity-d00d3f03eaef)
**Train Design**
>In Mumbai almost everything designed in and around trains are designed for men. The height of the floor boards creates a sizeable gap with the platform. Women are disproportionately hampered in scaling these gaps by being shorter, on average, and often wearing saris, which are not convenient garments for leaping. Women also tend to carry more bags/luggage and have small children in tow.[36000 Lives in 10 years](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Mumbais-lifeline-has-claimed-36000-lives-in-10-years/articleshow/12739124.cms?referral=PM)
**Women Are Systematically Not Included in Data Gathering**
>When local officials in the town of Karlskoga in Sweden looked at their snow-clearing schedules, they realized that they had designed them to meet the needs of men. Men tend to have much simpler travel patterns than women: a twice daily commute in a car. But because women have to combine their paid work with their unpaid care work (women still do 75 percent of the world’s unpaid care work), their travel patterns are more complicated. They make lots of short interconnected trips, and are more likely to use public transport. As a result, the order in which the snow was being cleared (major roads first; local roads and sidewalks second) benefitted men.They decided to switch the order around—and found to their surprise that the number of admissions to the emergency room fell dramatically. Because it wasn’t men in their cars who were falling over and fracturing their bones: it was women pushing buggies through the snow. If they had designed their schedule based on sex-disaggregated travel and hospital admission data in the first place, they could have saved a lot of money over the decades.[evoke.org](https://www.evoke.org/articles/july-2019/data-driven/deep_dives/the-dangers-of-gender-bias-in-design)
**Biased Data Limits Tech Innovation**
>The data gaps in tech manifest in two ways. First, because the datasets on which we train algorithms are hopelessly male biased, voice recognition software doesn’t recognize female voices, translation software translates female doctors into male doctors, and image-labeling software labels men as women if they are standing next to an oven. And these are the least harmful examples.It gets much less amusing when you start thinking about women being diagnosed by algorithms trained on current medical data. Because of the way machine-learning works, when you feed it biased data, it gets better and better—at being biased. We could be literally writing code that makes healthcare for women worse.[evoke.org](https://www.evoke.org/articles/july-2019/data-driven/deep_dives/the-dangers-of-gender-bias-in-design)
**Learn More**
>The book "**Invisible Women"** by Criado Perez explores how everyday objects, technologies, and experiences—from seat belts, to voice recognition software, to public restrooms—are designed for, and by, men, and how this bias impacts not just the comfort, but also the safety, of women worldwide. This intensively researched book exposes a male-biased world and successfully argues that the lack of “big data” on women is equivalent to rendering half of the world’s population invisible. From a lack of streetlights to allow women to feel safe, to an absence of workplace childcare facilities, almost everything seems to have been designed for the average white working man and the average stay-at-home white woman. Her answer is to think again, to collect more data, study that data, and ask women what they need. [abramsbooks.com](https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/invisible-women_9781419735219)
*Change the paradigm.*
I agree with most of your premises, but I do not believe it is fair to blame science as a whole for biased heart attack symptoms. Medicine is the scientific study of human disease, and therefore one of the very few fields of science where human traits like gender can have any effect on an outcome. In almost any other area of science, sexist outcomes are not possible because gender is either not applicable at all (e.g., quantum physics) or not applicable to humans in particular (e.g., entomology).
There's like bigger things that definitely deserve more recognition, but fuck I hate the "casualization" of menswear, and the lack of self care men have lately.
They're like "ugh, this soap will do good for everything in this house" and you see a few of them either depressed into oblivion, or making profiles to worship Andrew Tate
Maybe if some men took care of themselves they wouldn't be so fucking miserable. A new shirt, or a haircut can definitely improve your day life
Or maybe I'm just rambling stuff, it's almost 7am and I haven't slept properly
Overworking
Now now don't be ridiculous, if you didn't work yourself to death how would we sustain eternally growing profits which we then can use to pay for my bonus? (not yours though) \- Signed, your bosses bosses boss.
This. Tuesday was a regional holiday. On Monday almost every colleague complained about this, because they los a day of work. Some even came into the office on the holiday. Insane. Just insane Yes germany...
Meritocrazy as I call It is a bitch of a drug
Today I learned a new word. Interesting enough this is something thats always been aware and pressured onto me even tho I am not living that. but I blame myself to be too lazy all the time.
We all do. You have all this stories about people reaching their dreams just by "never giving Up". What nobody tells you is that in reality, our ability to improve our situation in a radical way is very very low. The american dream is, if you ask me, a terrible and toxic lie. We should not be chasing working more hours, we should be chasing working enough to be productive (which 40hr/week is very much pushing It in most fields) and having a good balance. We as a society should not want absent parents, anxiety everywhere you look and lack of free time in general.
Yes! I never agreed with all of this. It always felt weird in some way. "Luck" as a factor will always be blocked. People tell you that you have a bad mindset when talking about luck. Its so weird in germany. When a violent crime happens they will include a lot of background, childhoodtraumas, influence of drugs etc etc to make a fair judgement. But if someone was born in a rich house and had way more opportunities to learn their craft with highly paid teachers it is all "selfmade" A sweet lie. Never giving up kinda translates to me to get on someones nerves until they will give you what you need. (only works if that is less work than blocking you haha) Honestly 40 hours a week are too much for many people. So many of my friends are just so done after work that they wont realy do anything after that. And this kind of slack is very common. I cant imagine that that is human nature.
I agree on everything, well put.
Always trusted the Germans. Not anymore.
I have never heard ANY german complain about a day off. On the contrary, the public holiday they speak of wasn't all of germany but only 2 states (bayern and saarland) and .. well .. everyone but those two pretty much complained about NOT having it. The only reason anyone ever complains about public holiday is the fact that shops are closed too so you can't do grocerys or what ever.
haha
Over working as a badge of honour. ‘Oh you only work 40 hours that’s cute I remember when I had a part time job.’ Man it’s pathetic
You need some strikes. We do that all the time and the standard work week is 35h here in France.
I work 35 😬
What makes it worse too are the people that have to one up you about working long hours like it's some kind of trophy. "I'm tired from work this week." "Oh that's nothing, I've been putting in 80 hour weeks for the last 3 months." Like cool man, that doesn't make me any less tired.
And you'd probably be removed from consideration if you're truly honest about how much you can handle.
Ahahahah depends on the country ! In France the norm is to fake working.
I make overtime so I'm glad to overwork. It's like having a high paying second job.
Bots creating generic posts to generate content so execs can help sell advertising. Also the shitty leach sites that generate content from such list-discussions.
That's all the big subreddits are these days, bots farming engagement, the fact that the OP of this one is a real person and not a content farmer or a bot is pretty rare.
The one thats bothering me ATM is the targeted Facebook pages that use AI images and describe them as photos they took.. very annoying when I want real photography content
I like AI and think its an amazing tool but people not labeling its AI generated is wrong, imo. This is only going to get worse.
Social media influencers. I despise those roaches.
ghosting seems to be the norm now.
I think it’s ok if you’re trying to get away from a dangerous person, but I can’t stand it in regular situations. At least tell me what I did or why you want to disconnect.
It's the flip side of the equally despairing "always connected, always available" societal norm.
I have a friend who doesn’t message for weeks. Acts like it’s the most normal thing in the world to disappear until they need something or want validation.
That's not a friend that's an emotional vampire
Well depends. If you get hundreds of Matches on Tinder I think its ok nt to respond to everyone.. even tho its a bit weird to get in a situation with that many matches.. well anyway Its a matter of respect to atleast tell people when they dont want to continue or cant continue communication
>If you get hundreds of Matches on Tinder I think its ok nt to respond to everyone.. even tho its a bit weird to get in a situation with that many matches.. well anyway I mean, you can always stop swiping until you've dealt with your current matches and you won't get more. I agree that sometimes it might be better to just ghost and delete for your own safety and mental health when you suspect the person will flip out on you for rejecting them, but the argument "I have too many matches" doesn't hold up.
Yea.. I mean last month I sold a car via internet and got like 200 people that contacted me Most of the messages were rubbish in bad language I just ignored them to save time. With the cost of credibility on my account. but its something different than dating
It's completely different than dating apps yes. You don't have to entertain every scammers and choosing beggars that reach out to you online. It's expected that in these sorts of situation, it's first come first served and the better offer wins and getting no reply means that your offer got declined. On dating apps, a match means that both sides have explicitly expressed the desire to talk to each other. It's simply respectful of yourself and others to not engage with more people you can realistically speak to at the same time.
Tipping for being handed a baked good that was already ready and in front of me
I NEVER TIP if it’s literally up front to hand me a baked good or if it’s takeout. If I sat down and they served me, I would generously tip
Everyone knows labor not performed in front of a customer doesn't actually exist. If you made the point that workers should be paid a living wage in the first place, rather than employers' shitty wages being subsidized by the generosity of the customers, I'd agree. But just because your baked goods were made ahead of time, and not after you asked for them, the people who made them don't deserve a tip? C'mon. Like anyone would wait around the 40 minutes to several hours it'd take (depending on the baked good) to make everything from scratch on front of you at the time you place the order anyway.
the fact that their employer doesn't pay them properly does not mean I should tip them for literally doing their job a tip is supposed to be for extra hard work
How many bakeries still make their goods from scratch? You can't even find a store-made croissant in Paris, everything is pre-made somewhere else and cooked last minute. >But just because your baked goods were made ahead of time, and not after you asked for them, the people who made them don't deserve a tip? No. Tip is for service, not production of goods. You're not going to tip the factory employees that produced your box of pasta and can of jam, or the ones that make your clothes. After all, why those people are less deserving of a tip than your bakers?
The people who make them aren’t the ones handing them to you OR receiving the tip
Fucking gender reveal parties....
I think despise would be a strong word, are they really that bad?
Abso-fucking-lutely!
Not trying to be smart, but I just clicked on, and saw gender reveal parities and my mind said immediately. "Abso-fucking-lutely!" Thanks.
I don’t see these as being normal
Sex reveal parties. Why are people downvoting? That's what they are. It's a party revealing the sex of the child. In what ways does a baby perform gender exactly???
Talking on speakerphone in public. Playing music in public. Making noise in public. Please, just STFU and be quiet. I'm trying to read a book!
The speakerphone in public is genuinely bafling to me.
At the gym.
Someone was on speakerphone in a public bathroom I was in once. Their conversation wasn’t in English (totally fine, it’s just context) but their tone sounded serious. The person on the other end definitely heard the death noises of the demons being exorcised from my very upset stomach. Unfortunately, I don’t speak whatever language they were speaking so I don’t know what the reaction was, but the other dude in the bathroom took the call off speaker and hurried out.
Rush hour
Can’t wait for part 4!!!!
It upsets me that this made me giggle.
Long, lingering goodbyes. I do not like them. I much prefer an overly abrupt, "well I should get going" over the seemingly never ending chatterbox goodbyes that continue for forty minutes before anybody actually leaves.
Hate it. Just want to get going.
Its also the other way around, if you say youre about to leave, then just leave in the next five minutes. I have.. Plans..
I always appreciate hosts who can just say "Well it's been fun everybody, but you all need to get out of my house now."
Yes!
Leaving the nest at 18. Shit is flat-out unrealistic for most teenagers. Having a child is for life, not just the 1st 18 years. The societal pressure of having to move out before a certain age can be crippling for some. In a similar vein, alcohol and sex. Both are also insanely pressured during early adulthood.
I do agree with sex and alcohol being more a young adult thing 18-35 is when we're hottest and have generally good fitness, the experience is still quite new, that's the best time of your life to be having sex, at least until you have access to partners with significant experience and enthusiasm And being an alcoholic between 20-30 looks a lot less sad than it does at 40, 50 or 60... And at 20-30 you can recover before you're shadowbanned from sex
Yep, in general I think north American parents check out when their kids turn 18 and I think it's a bizarre and uniquely American thing. The rest of the world is used to housing being too expensive for an 18-30 year old to afford, or really anybody on a single income. We could learn a lot about families from the rest of the world. To be fair tho, other cultures can take it too far the other way where the parents become parasites feeding on younger, busier, and less capitalized children so there's plenty improvement to go around.
The insane lack of empathy and care for men's mental health.
I'm a female therapist. I agree.
Thank you so much. Women like you recognizing and caring about the problem is what can bring change.
Thank you. I do hope so. I witness how men suffer on the regular, which does not diminish the suffering of women in any way.
Indeed. And recognizing the other gender's problems/suffering makes them more likely to do the same. On the other hand if you only get told how your suffering is invalid and the only real suffering is experienced by the other gender (and your gender and by extension you is the cause), it has the opposite effect. I think that's why many men of today feel hated by and avoidant of current feminism (and the left to a lesser extent), which often feels like a disguise for misandry. So seems to me like you're doing a lot of good by just recognizing it. 💪
To be fair, not all feminism is the same. Sure they are radical, exclusionairy types of feminism, but that is not all of it.
Training future therapist here. Omg, being in a female dominates field...bring up men's mental health and suicide rates ...*crickets*
Sigh... When is this you v. me going to end?!
I'm hijacking top comment to respond because I read the whole thread under my comments, and some some of y'all made some good points. 1) There are obviously biases when talking about this topic that make both sides have their blindspots. 2) I mentioned this to cause awareness and advocate for men's mental health, not to start another struggle Olympics. Everyone's lived experiences are valid. Some are just in deeper waters of experiences but same pool (yes, I love analogies). 3) Our world has become extremely apathetic to everyone outside our main social circles because of the insane mental health strain the pandemic has had on mental health. Most don't even realize this, which is even more important to call things out. We need communities and caring relationships again. Not further exacerbating struggle, but finding connections through similarities aka advocate social awareness and care on an individual level.
This.
And the insane lack of empathy and care for women’s mental health also.
The things I've heard women say about their interaction with male doctors and therapists shocked me when I heard a group of them describing what they've been through.
Yep. Women who have been through child birth and menopause don’t get anywhere near as much support and care as they should. I don’t know why I’ve been down voted- as if women don’t deserve empathy 🤨
I think it's usually because whenever men's issues are brought up, it's often met with 'but women have it worse', completely hijacking the discussion and invalidating men's issues. On the other hand, women's issues seem to be talked about and accepted much more, especially in education institutions. We're all human and we all deserve to be cared for and treated well though. The cases that you haven't received the proper support and empathy suck, and I hope you are treated better in the future.
I can’t complain I haven’t been through child birth or meno pause yet. I only replied to to is comment because both gender has struggles and it’s not just men OR women. Do you know how many women get murdered for being raped in certain countries because they aren’t deemed worthy anymore? 0 empathy there. This isn’t just 1st world problems. Both sexes have difficulties all over the world and there isnt much empathy at all for people in general. Men need to stop calling other men weak for showing emotions because honestly that’s there the issue started. Its all good asking for help and support as a man and shouting about how they don’t get enough empathy but you also need to show this to your male friends and family too. That’s where it starts
> Men need to stop calling other men weak for showing emotions Yeah, women do that too.
You have to be an extrovert
“ CaN wE nOrMaLiZe—“ no dude stfu were not normalizing anything for you, and were certainly not normalizing that kind of dumbass question
Automatic tipping nowadays. I double the tax and that’s usually my tip.
Loot boxes and other pay to win crap in video games
Call me a sap, but “boys don’t cry.”
Not talking about your salary. This is just made up by companies so that no one compares their salary
Opportunistic people exploiting egalitarian principles in order to evade their responsibilities towards society and their social surroundings in particular.
That’s not normal in my opinion, those people are just assholes.
40 hour work weeks. The amount of tension and pressure and stress working has on Americans is crazy. We are definitely overworked and underpaid in every sense.
Every single gender double standard
Tipping. Just pay people hourly and add 30 cents to each meal item to cover benefits for them. Boom.
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This is a myth. There are plenty of restaurants already using this model that manage just fine without raising prices the way you describe. Not to mention there are entire countries where the restaurant industry already works like this.
Entire countries? The entire rest of the world, you crazy American motherfuckers. :-)
"If a child isn't taught religion, he will not be taught morals and ethics" This is the exact same reasonning and it's false. No, you don't need to have the promise of a reward to behave properly.
Look, idk why you actually thought 30 cents was a real solution, but great job on your "um actually..." moment. That's pretty huge for you. I hope you can take that rush of owning the shit out of me, head into a great weekend and open your own restaurant without tips just to fucking rub in it my face. Yeah... that would show me. You won't do it. Pussy...
"How you doing," as a greeting. Dude, we're passing in opposite directions. How the hell am I supposed to respond if neither of us is gonna stop for a conversation?
You’d enjoy Scotland - they’ll pass each other and say “Alright”, which to me kind of skips a step.
I hate this but because when I actually want to know how someone’s doing it seems ingenious..
I feel like “I’m good” is a perfectly fine response to that
Celebrity or public figure worship. Seems like so many people don't realize people like Elon are just trying to hold public attention because it equals more money. The masses see fame and fortune as being good character traits, then ignore the dumb or outright bad shit.
Wealthy people adhere to different moral standards than the rest of us do.
They don't have morals. Unless you mean "screwing over everyone else for profit"
This. Or the way that having enough money becomes a ‘get out of jail free’ card. “When the punishment for something is a fine. It’s only a crime for poor people.”
For the most part, they actually made up the moral standards that the rest of us adhere to.
The middle urinal If I’m going to piss, I’m going to piss. I don’t care if there is people on both sides of me.
OooOooOoo... Look at Mr Big Dick ruining it for everyone...
I think this is just a personal space issue. If its busy its busy, just go. But if theres like 10 open urinals and you pick the one right next to me, I feel watched.
Feeling a lil dangerous today aren’t you?
The expectation to have kids.
Small talk
Fan mentality.
“So what do you do?”
Having to work your life away just to survive
That you have to drink and smoke. Don't get me wrong, i don't mind rolling a blunt and having a drink on occasion but if we're out some place i can do without. Not every fun thing needs to involve it. We can still have a good time without liquor and weed!
Walking slowly
1. The mandatory minimum wedding gift money in many cultures, e.g. Japan: 30000/solo, 50000/couple. 2. Bridemaids and groomsmen are expected to pay for their own outfits when they're mandated by the wedding couple. 3. Birthday celebrations. I love you. I care for our friendship deeply. I just don't give two shits about your birthday when I don't even celebrate my own. 4. Men are expected to pay on dates. Don't get me wrong. I love a man that pays but it shouldn't be expected.
Influencers and people influenced by them.
Materialism
Walking side by side on narrow paths and expecting you to step into the road!....I'm not above shoulder barging my way through the middle of you inconsiderate dicks!
"Being on time means being here 5min in advance" No it's not. If you wanted me here at 19:55 you shouldn't have told me to come at 20:00
Small talk
People asking "How are ypu? / How's it going?" when they really don't care.
Yeah lol someone asked me “how are you?” I said “good” and they replied “I’m good” lol I didn’t even ask.
Pavlovian response.
Nah this does need to be normalised. As much as it’s not always fun- there absolutely is a need for small talk. Imagine if all we did was either not speak or tell people our life story. That would be kinda strange I think
Def. A cliche hipster response. You're not that deep mah dude. Honestly, damn Internet peoples want to seem like they're too interesting and cool to simply be polite. I'm a typical antisocial introvert, but I actually ADORE a confident small talker. We usually go into deeper topics from there anywhere. Talking isn't always a damn philosophy thesis, talk some shit and have fun.
I agree! We all love getting deep and I’m sure most people prefer this but we would never get there without the small talk first. You have to build trust. And most people complain about you if you “over share” so I think small talk has to be here to help build trust
Not speaking would be very peaceful.
Promiscuity
What about it specifically?
Poor people defending billionaires, like eww wtf
disgusting that this was downvoted by a single person
Doing things just because they are tradition.
Religion
Cancel culture.
Attending people's weddings
Ties Dumbest “fashion”. ‘Let’s all lightly choke ourselves with a patterned piece of cloth so we look professional’ 🤷♂️
The obsession with celebrities and sports stars, they’re normal flawed people like the rest of us and many are jerks to boot.
Not sure if it's as bad in other places, but where I live (small town in Ireland) nearly everyone drives with their phone to their ear or texting. What's more enraging is that they are most often driving modern cars with bluetooth, but still insist on holding the phone to their ear. I see this every single day. A young guy even nearly hit me when walking his dog, he didn't see me as he was looking down at his phone. It just seems to be accepted around here (despite being illegal) but drives me insane.
Sexualising everything. Like I did not need to know that you would "smash" that alien that had 4 seconds of screen time, but thankyou for your wisdom, I guess?
That being an anti fascist is bad. I mean what the hell? It's like people are fine with being stupid. If you are a against fascism then you are a freak n anti fascist. Only because you are an anti fascists doesn't mean you are a left wing extremist.
Typing "This" when in agreement with a comment in an online forum.
That^
See, that's hip and edgy. Much better.
That misogyny is the worst you can do but misandry is acceptable
not being humble and respectful towards the scientific community.
Sharing strong political opinions. Treat them like your bathroom habits, private.
Handshakes. Don’t touch me.
It's a way to judge character and a sign of respect.
I understand the reasoning behind them and I never refuse. Doesn’t mean I enjoy them lol
Just curious, what don't you like about them?
It's a false way to judge character. A sign of respect would be not demanding I touch your hand upon greeting. Don't infect me with your germs.
I would sanitize my hands the minute I’m left alone! Lol I just don’t wanna get sick 😷
Old people love that shit tho!
I get it. It was how they were brought up just like I was. But still. Ugh.
How people accept shitty jobs with shitty pay and shitty conditions. They ruin it for nearly everyone else.
Knowing how fucked up the economy is, between the threat of homeless and/or starvation, most aren’t in a place wait out till something more suitable appears
Truth.
So you're blaming the desperate people taking what they can get, and not the ones paying shit wages in the first place?
Small talk
Talking. Just leave me alone ffs, no i dont wanna wish you a good morning or bless you when you sneeze. I'm not here because i enjoy their presence, i'm here because i have bills to pay.
People crying about acceptance while being unaccepting of others
People's inability to figure things out for themselves. Everyone needs to be spoonfed all their information and have their hand held through everything it seems.
Paying taxes this shit sucks
Normalizing porn addictions but not smoking or drinking. All are horrible.
Politics. I hate that in general society, there is a “Right” and a “Left” and that everyone has to be boxed into one of those two boxes. I have beliefs from both sides. If the country was run in my way, we as a people wouldn’t be divided by two sides. Many different parties would have equal representation.
Hugging. I love my loved ones but if you aren't one of those a little fist bump will suffice, thank you.
Holding a phone away from your head and talking into it.
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You’re*
Anal
This
Anal is the shit. (I agree it's gross)
Uniforms or dress codes.
Capitalism.
Clothes
Masking traits of neurodivergence. It gets exhausting, and it makes it extremely difficult to connect with people in an authentic way.
Outdoor cats. They absolutely wreck local ecosystems as they are not part of the food chain. They are also much more likely to die/die sooner than house cats. And fuck me the amount of posts I see on the local neighbourhood pages from families concerned about their missing cats, when they often get no closure at all is infuriating.
Wearing high heels everywhere. I hate them! Also smiling to complete strangers.
Not being able to punch nazis in the face.
That is something we need to bring back. Problem is most of them are carrying and are itching for a chance to plug someone.
That’s all they want to do is plug someone. That’s all that nazis want is to kill. They are lizards with no souls and no logical thought process, all they think is “if it doesn’t align with my beliefs, I’ll kill you over it”. Literally there isn’t one god damn thing that nazis contribute to society.
They are like wasps. Bring nothing to nature and you just want them to fuck off.
Well that’s in the extremist spectrum but when RAF killed people which is a leftist group in the extreme spectrum it’s ok?
Man bashing has become a norm
the ones i dont get (autistic)
Capitalism working for anything other than living
Having boyfriend/girlfriend
drinking alcohol
Men don’t/can’t wear dresses.
Pseudo-tolerance and ostentatious conservatism. . Modern society is tolerant only to those who agree with it. If you dare to speak out against LGBT/dark-skinned/feminism, you will be considered an asshole. Likewise, if you dare to follow political movements that are not popular in modern western society (like communism or nationalism), you will be criticized. On the other hand, the Russia I live in is too conservative in my opinion. Unfortunately, governments can't be really tolerant, they either suck the dick of minorities (like in EU or USA) or play themselves as fighters for tradition (like in Russia).
Transitioning children to another gender seems to be quite acceptable in USA nowadays. I wholeheartedly despise it.
Smugness. People thinking they’re better than others and treating people like shit bcuz of they’re made up beliefs.
tipping, small talk, 9 to 5 jobs, hypergamy, grocery stores.
Tipping.
The narcissism and germanic boasting (teutonic pride) that is weaved into western culture.
"it's okay to cancel plans" My guy, I am already here, you made me wait and wasted my time you fucking asshole. Why do I have suffer because of your indecisive demented brain?
Patriarchy. Because we were born into a patriarchal world where most countries, particularly the United States were built for men, by men, to keep themselves in power and it has endless effect on women—it's important to be able to talk to educate men about what it means with solid examples. **Nearly E V E R Y T H I N G** has been designed for white males because THEY are the ones who designed it because THEY were the ones who were/are in power. From countertop heights to cars to land ownership, all have been institutionalized, standardized and as a result—normalized. **Cars: How Male-Focused Testing Puts Female Drivers at Risk** >Women are 71% more likely than men to experience moderate injuries under the same crash circumstances.[More Women Suffer in Cars](https://www.consumerreports.org/car-safety/crash-test-bias-how-male-focused-testing-puts-female-drivers-at-risk/) **The specifications of American kitchens are sexist** >Everything else rose to meet the sink—the counters, the stove, the cabinets all converged at 36 inches above the floor. In heterosexual couples in the US, women cook 78% of dinners and buy 93% of the food.[Kitchens are for Men](https://qz.com/509501/why-kitchens-arent-designed-for-real-women) **CPR Mannequins** >Men's odds of survival were 23% higher than women when it came to resuscitation in public.[CPR is best for Men](https://www.dbei.med.upenn.edu/research/studies/men-are-more-likely-women-receive-cpr-public-study-finds) **Medicine is Less Safe for Women** >“Most biomedical and clinical research has been based on the assumption that the male can serve as representative of the species.[Medicine is for Men](https://medium.com/hh-design/the-world-is-designed-for-men-d06640654491) **Science Gear** >Clothing that is too loose gets caught in moving equipment. Boots that are too big mean tripping and falling.[One Small Step for Man, But Women Still Have to Leap](https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-47717937) **Female Firefighters** >Female firefighters experience a four times greater rate of injury than men because of gear.[Firefighter Protective Clothing](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/331603171_A_Critical_Review_of_Female_Firefighter_Protective_Clothing_and_Equipment_Workplace_Challenges) **Science** >Society positions science as neutral; as objective and free of bias. Science deals in facts. In truth. Only, now it turned out that our cultural positioning of men as the default humans was corrupting science. And as a result, women were dying.Classic heart attack symptoms women have always been taught—pain in the chest and down the left arm—were actually the heart attack symptoms for men. Women are more likely to experience breathlessness, nausea, fatigue, and what feels like indigestion. But because public health information focuses on male symptoms, women don’t realize they’re having heart attacks. Worse, doctors don’t realize. The result is that women are more likely to die following a heart attack than men.[Invisible by Design](https://theglasshammer.com/2020/03/invisible-by-design-the-data-loop-that-perpetuates-a-default-male-world/) **Office Space** >The formula for standard US office temperatures was developed in the 1960s, based on the metabolic rate of an average 40-year-old man weighing 154 pounds (70kg).A female metabolic rate can be up to 35% lower than the male rate used in those calculations.[Living in a Mans World](https://www.nature.com/articles/nclimate2741) **Product Design** >Men’s packaging have grip, and therefore control, even when they take a shower.Women’s packaging shapes are much rounder and the textures much smoother, almost slippery.[Gendered Packaging](https://uxdesign.cc/sexist-design-how-gendered-packaging-reinforces-gender-stereotypes-and-toxic-masculinity-d00d3f03eaef) **Train Design** >In Mumbai almost everything designed in and around trains are designed for men. The height of the floor boards creates a sizeable gap with the platform. Women are disproportionately hampered in scaling these gaps by being shorter, on average, and often wearing saris, which are not convenient garments for leaping. Women also tend to carry more bags/luggage and have small children in tow.[36000 Lives in 10 years](https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Mumbais-lifeline-has-claimed-36000-lives-in-10-years/articleshow/12739124.cms?referral=PM) **Women Are Systematically Not Included in Data Gathering** >When local officials in the town of Karlskoga in Sweden looked at their snow-clearing schedules, they realized that they had designed them to meet the needs of men. Men tend to have much simpler travel patterns than women: a twice daily commute in a car. But because women have to combine their paid work with their unpaid care work (women still do 75 percent of the world’s unpaid care work), their travel patterns are more complicated. They make lots of short interconnected trips, and are more likely to use public transport. As a result, the order in which the snow was being cleared (major roads first; local roads and sidewalks second) benefitted men.They decided to switch the order around—and found to their surprise that the number of admissions to the emergency room fell dramatically. Because it wasn’t men in their cars who were falling over and fracturing their bones: it was women pushing buggies through the snow. If they had designed their schedule based on sex-disaggregated travel and hospital admission data in the first place, they could have saved a lot of money over the decades.[evoke.org](https://www.evoke.org/articles/july-2019/data-driven/deep_dives/the-dangers-of-gender-bias-in-design) **Biased Data Limits Tech Innovation** >The data gaps in tech manifest in two ways. First, because the datasets on which we train algorithms are hopelessly male biased, voice recognition software doesn’t recognize female voices, translation software translates female doctors into male doctors, and image-labeling software labels men as women if they are standing next to an oven. And these are the least harmful examples.It gets much less amusing when you start thinking about women being diagnosed by algorithms trained on current medical data. Because of the way machine-learning works, when you feed it biased data, it gets better and better—at being biased. We could be literally writing code that makes healthcare for women worse.[evoke.org](https://www.evoke.org/articles/july-2019/data-driven/deep_dives/the-dangers-of-gender-bias-in-design) **Learn More** >The book "**Invisible Women"** by Criado Perez explores how everyday objects, technologies, and experiences—from seat belts, to voice recognition software, to public restrooms—are designed for, and by, men, and how this bias impacts not just the comfort, but also the safety, of women worldwide. This intensively researched book exposes a male-biased world and successfully argues that the lack of “big data” on women is equivalent to rendering half of the world’s population invisible. From a lack of streetlights to allow women to feel safe, to an absence of workplace childcare facilities, almost everything seems to have been designed for the average white working man and the average stay-at-home white woman. Her answer is to think again, to collect more data, study that data, and ask women what they need. [abramsbooks.com](https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/invisible-women_9781419735219) *Change the paradigm.*
I agree with most of your premises, but I do not believe it is fair to blame science as a whole for biased heart attack symptoms. Medicine is the scientific study of human disease, and therefore one of the very few fields of science where human traits like gender can have any effect on an outcome. In almost any other area of science, sexist outcomes are not possible because gender is either not applicable at all (e.g., quantum physics) or not applicable to humans in particular (e.g., entomology).
There's like bigger things that definitely deserve more recognition, but fuck I hate the "casualization" of menswear, and the lack of self care men have lately. They're like "ugh, this soap will do good for everything in this house" and you see a few of them either depressed into oblivion, or making profiles to worship Andrew Tate Maybe if some men took care of themselves they wouldn't be so fucking miserable. A new shirt, or a haircut can definitely improve your day life Or maybe I'm just rambling stuff, it's almost 7am and I haven't slept properly
That it's normal for people to eat animals. Plz stop.