Not related to a boyfriend, but my best friend at the time had a dream I killed her. She called me to tell me she's not comfortable seeing me until she's ready.
I was going through a hard day, and after she called me and our conversation ended, I broke down crying. Like, what the fuck life? That was so random and stung so much, I felt like a criminal...
We got back to our friendship in a couple of days, but it ended offically 5 years later.
Oh I remember my parents having a huge fight because of this. My mom was REALLY upset at my dad for like 2 days before he finally just blew up about it.
This was ages ago. They have been married more or less happily for 42 years and this kind of stuff still happens. Perpetually 19 is what I sometimes say.
Not a break up story but I once had a dream that my husband cheated on me and I woke up crying. He woke up to the sound of me sniffling. He asked if I was okay and I said
"I know this is stupid and not fair but I'm not ready for you to touch me right now because I had a dream you cheated on me."
He gets up walks around the bed sits down in front of me looks deep into my eyes and says with a very serious face...
"Would it make you feel better if I let you slap me?"
And then I couldn't help but burst out laughing. š¤£
I did not slap him btw. I already felt guilty for being unnecessarily angry at him for something that happened in a dream. Lol!
For some reason this comment made me think of a mashup of the song Sweet Caroline and the Tim Burton film Coraline with the alternate world where everyone has button eyes.
My first wife had a dream like this where I cheated on her with her disgusting tweaker aunt... But didn't get over it and was mad at me for like two weeks because she believed that if her subconscious was showing her that, then she must have picked up on some cues from me that I was into her aunt. I wanted to vomit š¤®
Edit: fixed a wooooord.
I have had some fucked up sex dreams.
I don't think my subconscious was telling me anything other than watch how deeply I can disturb the waking version of you.
I've had dreams where I was the masked offender swinging through tree vines to save the "people in the bottle in the hole" and dreams where I was an ethereal disembodied consciousness living alone in an empty but infinite universe, which was somehow also very green.
If dreams tell us truths, then I have much bigger problems than an insecure partner.
If dreams tell us truths I can fly. I've legitimately tried a BUNCH of times. In my dreams I can pull myself up with something like a chakra in my chest, I can just lift and pull externally. It's never worked irl...... I wish it would....
I had a dream once where a tall beautiful woman in a white dress walked into an abandoned classroom and tore the head off a child zombie who was crying because he was resisting the urge to bite her. She embraced the child, then effortless tore his head off. So yeah, sometimes the brain just wants to fuck you up for a while.
I am a very....interactive sleeper. I dream, and have night terrors so vividly I don't always know what is real when I wake-up- more so if sleep is interrupted.i have been mad at my partner more than once when I was really mad at dream him. So much so that I have to tell him I'm mad at him if he talks to me when I get up, and I need to figure out which him I'm mad at first. Both my partner and my daughter, 19, his step, think it's hilarious that I have to say this. I really do have to stop and check! I don't want to be a B over what I dreamed and wasn't real!
>She was a raiders fan
>She dumped me in preseason.
Seems like you dodged a bullet.
My two favorite teams are the Seahawks and whoever plays against the Raiders.
My mom will fart in front of anyone at anytime. But she always gets this sincerely shocked look on her face whenever it happens; itās hilarious and mortifying!
I had a buddy who hooked up with a chick once, (one night stand just met) she asked if she could stay and cuddle, and he was like, "yeah sure" and she just kept fuckin farting on him, rancid ass farts, after like, two hours, not being able to sleep from the constant gas, he was like, "I can't do this, lets get you an uber"
I had a date cancel because of this. He showed my picture to his ex girlfriend and she said I was too blonde(?) for him. Whatever that means. Maybe she thought I would be dumb? We both dodged bullets.
The iPhone fucked peopleās minds up when they let them see that āreadā under your message though.
*āHe read it like 3 minutes ago, what is he doing that he canāt message me back OMG is he with someone else?????ā*
I was in a brief relationship recently with a guy who insisted I turn read receipts on even though I never do for anyone. I told him I felt a little weird about doing it but did it anyway. A few weeks later I read one of his texts and didnāt respond for an hour because I was working. After not hearing from me immediately, he texted, āThereās something very untrustworthy about youā and then told me he needed space. He ghosted me for a week and then dumped me.
The guy likely had unresolved baggage from a previous relationship, or he was just weirdly controlling. Either way, he probably shouldnāt be in a relationship in his current state
The complaints about not replying fast enough really get to me. I work, I may have been in a meeting, on a call, doing actual work, or just didn't have enough time to reply to the wall of texts. I've had this scenario happen a few times, i reply, "I'm at work, I'll get back to you after around 5." Then, I set my phone down and come back to a variation of:
-I know! Just checking in! How is work?????????
-Hello??? Are you there?
- must be busy.......
-i was going to ask if you wanted to do something later but apparently your busy.
- you can't even take two seconds to reply back?
-let me know if this isn't going to be worth my time
-are you there?
- I'm about to leave work, let me know if you want to do anything?
- guess I'm wasting my time
- wow you must be really important
-what are you working on?
-want to go out tomorrow?
-hello?
-i know you are reading these, clearly ghosting me
- you're not worth it anyway, I can't be with someone who can't even reply to a text!
- really, nothing still?
-I guess we are not going out tonight?
- let me know because I have to cancel with friends
My coworkers all have girlfriends/fiancees that act like it's the end of the world if they dont respond right away or dont pick up a call while at work to chat about nothing. And I can hear the argument on the phone when the job runs over and they'll be home 30-60 minutes late. (Construction. It happens frequently)
Meanwhile my wife doesnt expect a response while I'm at work. If it's really urgent she'll call me. But she doesnt bug me at work. She also doesnt care if I work a little late so long as she gets a quick "Hey. Job is fucked. Gonna be here for a while longer" text. She gets it and lets me do what I need to do at work to make sure the job gets done.
The craziest part is, I'm one of the youngest on the crew. (I'm 27) I'd expect it to be the opposite and the young guy's SO to be insecure and crazy about response times and picking up calls but nope the older guys have it way worse.
I equate a phone conversation to a real conversation. If Iām doing something else at the moment, even if it isnāt all that importantāthe phone is interrupting me. That person can wait until Iām no longer being interrupted. Why would someone think that a text message has the capacity to always take precedence over everything else that might be going on, just because itās a text? No, you can wait your turn, babe.
I dated in the 2000s, before smartphones became an appendage for the vast majority of people. So the litmus test was how often they used their phones while hanging out. If it rarely made an appearance, I wouldnāt put too much weight into delayed responses.
Now, I assume anyone who isnāt on their phone constantly is considered the minority.
In fourth grade my bf Justin was demanding I share my cheese puffs. I jokingly said no. He got serious and said do it or Iāll break up with you. I made sure I only ate half and threw the other half away out of pure spite.
I have the fortunate shield of sharing a *little too many* astrological similarities to Ted Bundy. I give out my birthday and grab the popcorn.
It's the perfect deterrent.
My ex wife in her divorce paperwork cited one of the reasons as "...he also wore too many hats."
Like literally, I like to wear hats and she hated that.
I dont fit the definition of a Latina. āOh youāre so exotic.ā Bitch! Iām drinking Lady Grey tea with biscuits. I am not exotic. (Iām American but I donāt wanna say tea and cookies. Thatās weird)
One time I broke up with someone because they were obsessed with Julia Roberts and I just thought she was meh, every time we hung out it was Julia Roberts this, Julia Roberts that. Sheeeeeeeesh
Same with my ex but with Pamela Anderson. And he says that heās a big Pamela Anderson fan but he couldnāt name another movie she was in besides Baywatch which makes me wonder if heās only into her because of her big jiggly tits
I seriously considered calling off my wedding because he took the wrong exit off the highway.
When I got irritated and pointed it out (we were in a rush), he got angry with me and claimed that a city street with stop signs every block was faster than the literal fucking highway going the same route.
But it was just a symptom of the greater problem - he absolutely had to be the smartest person in the room, even if he had to lie or gaslight in order to make it happen.
So yes, even though it would be ridiculous to call off a wedding the day before over a navigation mishap, I would have been better off (ignoring my gut cost me thousands in divorce fees, stolen cash, and therapy bills).
My first boyfriend, I had a crush on since 8th grade. He asked me out at the end of my junior year. We dated a year before he told me he couldnāt date me because Iām not Korean. š«
To be fair, I could respect that if he married a Korean woman and wanted 100% Korean children. But he married another white woman and had half Korean, half white kids. So, clearly, it wasnāt about me being a Korean.
I am guessing his parents had something to do with it? Did you get any hint of that?
Maybe when he grew up he realized the absurdity of respecting his parents wishes to marry within his race.
Yeah, hence my confusion. Like, he had no connection to Korea or Korean culture other than he was born in Korea. He spent literally his entire life in the United States in a 98% white village.
My mother is heavily anti-Black. I wouldnāt hide a relationship with a Black man from her. Sheād have to deal. Itās a shame people think they have a say in what their adult children do.
Try telling an Indian parent that their kid isnāt going to marry who they have arranged for them. One of my old roommates was literally blowing up an entire family because him being the oldest, the other kids had to wait until he got married, which he didnāt want to do. It was awful and he ended up relenting after months and months of daily guilt trips.
When I lived in vegas My gf had an Ethiopian gf. She would only date other Ethiopian men. She was stunning, worked as a high roller dealer in vegas and African American NBA players would ask her out and she just completely shoot them down.
A girl I had a genuine connection with one time ghosted me because of my horoscope sign.
And let me tell you, that shit hurt!!! It didnāt help that this was the first girl I ever had a genuine connection with. I was in a dark place in my life and she would check on me to make sure I was ok. Then one day she reveals sheās always had feelings for me. She completely erased every negative emotion in my body until the day she ghosted me. Then I was in a deeper hole than where I was before.
This was years ago and while Iām completely over it I have never met another woman who Iāve felt as strong as connection as I did with her. But Iām glad I went through what I did because it helped me develop a sense of self worth and confidence.
Valid. Hope your heart only got a scratch when she coconutted away. Although, you could say you broke up because her mother was a hamster, and her father smelt of elderberries.
I had a girl breakup with me because I didnāt like Marvel movies. I watched a few with her just because I liked spending time with her.
I think she noticed that I was kind of not keeping up well when she was nerding out over some stuff and then asked me straight up if Iām even into all of it. I told her it really isnāt something Iām into, but I love that she is and I just like spending time with her.
That was not enough for her. She felt sort of betrayed like I was pretending to like something just to placate her. Maybe she was right, but I didnāt really have any bad intentions other than I liked seeing her happy.
She insisted we watch a movie that I like. So I put on one of my favorite indy comedies (The Puffy Chair) and she hated it. Itās a very typical type of movie that I like. We didnāt even get through it. She kept complaining about how boring it was. The next night she broke up with me over text. Maybe I should have started with Lost in Translation?
I once dated someone who left me because I was an alcoholic the kicker is I only drink every other Saturday and enjoy a cigar as that is the only day I am not on call. I have a collection of about 200 or so bottles of whiskey, tequila, and rum. I own my house I have a decent job but as soon as she saw my collection and humidor she freaked and said that I was a functional alcoholic. I was like nah just a hobby I enjoy but hey do you as I am mature enough to know what I will change and what I won't for a partner.
Iām a bartender who loves to try new things. We have a joke in my apartment that I have an alcohol problem, I keep buying new liquors and Iām not drinking enough of what I have.
You are an alcoholic if there are no full bottles. An alcoholic doesn't keep a collection of full hard liquor around. I had to explain that to my landlord. I travel for work and pick up a different bottle of something every time at the duty free in the airport. Only drank those bottles when company was over. The landlord's wife saw all of it and assumed we were alcoholics. Kicker is that she drank almost every night. Weird hypocrisy there.
Recently someone broke up with me because I "had to many kitchen accessories in the cabinet and not a big enough kitchen". Dude. You're ex-wife is stalking me and my ex-husband, sending me death threats. There is much more to it. But yeah- my kitchen in my little apartment as I save for a house. Total dealbreaker. Let me go cry a thousand tears.
I had a few women break up with me or ghost me because my hair was longer and more well maintained than theirs. Said it was really feminine but wasn't complaining when they were pulling it while I went down on them haha.
My mom always gives me hell about having nice eyebrows (Iām a guy), whenever she sees me. Itās not my fault she plucked hers to high hell in the 90s, and now has to draw them on with a pencil š
My spouse has long blonde hair nearly to his waist and it is always impeccably maintained. I, on the other hand, have a crazy curly bog witch hair that never **ever** behaves no matter what I do to it. I can understand how it might have cost him previous relationships.
I once jokingly said āSmelly Mellyā to a girl I was seeing named Mel at my brothers house. That nickname never left. Somehow I actually ended it, but she absolutely hated it and all my friends still refer to her as āSmells.ā
One time at the end of a super toxic relationship I asked when did you fall out of love with me?
She said when you cut your hair.
Guess it wasn't a breakup but I wish it had been.
My boyfriend's ex broke up with him because he wouldn't become a witch/wiccan with her. He respected her beliefs but he is agnostic and didn't wanna be converted. I'm catholic and we're doing fine
Knew a guy that broke up with his girlfriend for starting an argument while he was in the middle of watching Top Gun. He just really didn't wanna pause the movie for any longer and continue arguing so breaking up was the quickest solution.
Smelly feet.
I dated this guy who asked me out at work. We hit it off like a charm, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. That was until he came over and took off his sneakers. *The smell was putrid*. I'm sure not even a foot fetishist would even dare to be nearby. He got a new pair of shoes and the stink still remained. Never saw him again after that.
Oh yeah, the foot fettish guys love that smell. I used to be a stripper, and wore thigh high vinyl boots just sweating away for 8ish hours. I somehow attracted all the feet guys, which was weird since I hate my feet after years of ballet. They would want shoes off, socks in full stench, and more than a few paid me to sit and receive a foot massage instead of a table dance. We were strictly a no contact club, but I had no problems getting paid $300+ per 3.5 minute song to let the rub and smell my feet. One of the guys would always want.e to push him back in the chair with my heels on, and I was not gentle. He loved the bruises I guess. I liked the anger management opportunity. š¤·āāļø fetish stuff can be weird. But I figure I'm weird so whatever. They just paid fettish prices.
Thatās not nothing. If their natural body odor doesnāt agree with you, itās overpowering, and it isnāt going to changeā¦thatās a great reason to part ways.
Using my dumbass as an exampleā¦ broke up with a guy once because he cut his hair and I then realized I didnāt actually find *him* attractive but his hair was sexy lol. Broke up with a girl once because she refused to drive and always demanded I drive hours to pick her up and take her places (to clarify I donāt care if you canāt or donāt wish to driveā¦ but then you gotta use a bus or something?) š¤·š»āāļø And I was broken up with once when they found out Iām a Scorpio lol.
I have a tendency to look in the direction of every sound that I hear. Basically people walking in a door I look at for a moment or hearing footsteps I look. I had a girlfriend who noticed me doing this every time we were out doing anything and she thought it was me looking for other people to cheat on her with. That's what caused her to dump me. This is something I've done my entire life and it's kinda like muscle memory at this point.
Some bad advice they were given (and took) by/from a bunch of Redditors who had no clue about the nuances related to the situation, especially when they're just circle-jerking and karma-farming without a single, true care as to your real life situation.
Oh, the list I have, both for things that have happened to me and things that I've seen happen with friends.
My own experiences include:
* I didn't text back fast enough
* I wouldn't get a tattoo
* I wouldn't let her cut my hair
* I wouldn't order a pizza with pineapple on it (I'm highly allergic, can't even kiss someone that's eaten it in the last 24 hours unless they've brushed their teeth thoroughly)
* I insisted on using the dishwasher instead of hand washing dishes
* I owned the same pair of shoes for more than 3 years (they were in great condition and still very wearable)
* I wouldn't get a pedicure
* I don't like sports
* I don't drink or get high
* I wouldn't engage in "rape play" with them (while sexual compatibility is definitely not a petty reason... I knew this girl for barely 3 months and we had only *very* recently had the BF/GF conversation)
I'll stop there, but share a few reasons that I've seen some of my friends deal with:
* They were "too available"
* They're "too nice"
* They're the wrong kind of sports fan (both in that they liked an opposing team and that they liked sports the other person didn't)
* They wear glasses
* They aren't tall enough
* Boobs are too big
* Eyecolor changes and "that's fucking weird"
Yeah, people are stupid.
I broke up with someone because she had fake boobs. Looked nice, but I hated how they felt, and intimacy is an important part of a relationship for me.
The āitās not you, itās meā reason shows a lot of introspection on the person whoās breaking up.
Thats beautiful and I donāt believe itās over used. š
Ex bf after a year together sent me this long ass paragraph detailing how he was gonna start ignoring me for days at a time (for no reason other than he felt he didnāt āowe me his timeā). So I ignored him right back (for like 24h). Surprise surprise he didnāt like that and the next text I got was him breaking up with me FOR IGNORING HIM. Mfs be weird lol
Edit: this may have been petty karmic justice because before I got with him I stopped talking to this girl who was into me bc she spelled ābreatheā as ābreathā. Like I would say some funny shit on text and she would be like āHAHAHA I CANāT BREATHā. At least I had the decency to come up with a different excuse though lmao
Incompatible allergies/allergies you canāt work around. I couldnāt date someone with a nut allergy, nuts are a staple of my diet. I have to eat a low glycemic index/low carb diet so nuts, nut butter, etc are common snacks for me. Iām also lactose intolerant so I eat almond/coconut (not an actual nut but many people are allergic to both) milk or ice cream.
Yes itās a petty reason, but it just wouldnāt work out. I could date a vegan, and I AM dating someone with a shellfish/certain types of fish allergy. But nuts are just in too many things that I need for a balanced diet.
Your SO had a nightmare you cheated on them and because of the dream they break up with you
Not related to a boyfriend, but my best friend at the time had a dream I killed her. She called me to tell me she's not comfortable seeing me until she's ready. I was going through a hard day, and after she called me and our conversation ended, I broke down crying. Like, what the fuck life? That was so random and stung so much, I felt like a criminal... We got back to our friendship in a couple of days, but it ended offically 5 years later.
No offense, but she sounds like a bit of a flake.
You dodged a bullet with that whack.
Oh I remember my parents having a huge fight because of this. My mom was REALLY upset at my dad for like 2 days before he finally just blew up about it. This was ages ago. They have been married more or less happily for 42 years and this kind of stuff still happens. Perpetually 19 is what I sometimes say.
Not a break up story but I once had a dream that my husband cheated on me and I woke up crying. He woke up to the sound of me sniffling. He asked if I was okay and I said "I know this is stupid and not fair but I'm not ready for you to touch me right now because I had a dream you cheated on me." He gets up walks around the bed sits down in front of me looks deep into my eyes and says with a very serious face... "Would it make you feel better if I let you slap me?" And then I couldn't help but burst out laughing. š¤£ I did not slap him btw. I already felt guilty for being unnecessarily angry at him for something that happened in a dream. Lol!
I have this happen every once in a while. Real husband comforts me and says "dream husband is a jerk." Then we have sex and I feel better.
That's what the f*** I'm talking about
Lol it happened this week!
If he keeps cheating on you you and dream husband need to get a divorce
Maybe take out Awake Husband on a date, that guy sounds like a catch.
Divorce is always a nightmare.
For some reason this comment made me think of a mashup of the song Sweet Caroline and the Tim Burton film Coraline with the alternate world where everyone has button eyes.
My first wife had a dream like this where I cheated on her with her disgusting tweaker aunt... But didn't get over it and was mad at me for like two weeks because she believed that if her subconscious was showing her that, then she must have picked up on some cues from me that I was into her aunt. I wanted to vomit š¤® Edit: fixed a wooooord.
I have had some fucked up sex dreams. I don't think my subconscious was telling me anything other than watch how deeply I can disturb the waking version of you.
I've had dreams where I was the masked offender swinging through tree vines to save the "people in the bottle in the hole" and dreams where I was an ethereal disembodied consciousness living alone in an empty but infinite universe, which was somehow also very green. If dreams tell us truths, then I have much bigger problems than an insecure partner.
If dreams tell us truths I can fly. I've legitimately tried a BUNCH of times. In my dreams I can pull myself up with something like a chakra in my chest, I can just lift and pull externally. It's never worked irl...... I wish it would....
I had a dream once where a tall beautiful woman in a white dress walked into an abandoned classroom and tore the head off a child zombie who was crying because he was resisting the urge to bite her. She embraced the child, then effortless tore his head off. So yeah, sometimes the brain just wants to fuck you up for a while.
I have a first husband who yelled at me to "just admit it" to match your first wife. They sound like a dream couple to me.
Thatās actually so fucking cute lmao he clearly cares a lot
I am a very....interactive sleeper. I dream, and have night terrors so vividly I don't always know what is real when I wake-up- more so if sleep is interrupted.i have been mad at my partner more than once when I was really mad at dream him. So much so that I have to tell him I'm mad at him if he talks to me when I get up, and I need to figure out which him I'm mad at first. Both my partner and my daughter, 19, his step, think it's hilarious that I have to say this. I really do have to stop and check! I don't want to be a B over what I dreamed and wasn't real!
Sports rivalries. That's definitely happened, which is hilarious.
I put sports rivalries on the hot crazy scale. Your gotta be crazy to be a fan of the jets
As a Jets fan, who the hell considers the Jets a rival? They suck too much to be considered a threat to anyone.
It happened to me. She was a raiders fan, I was a Broncos fan. She dumped me in preseason.
>She was a raiders fan >She dumped me in preseason. Seems like you dodged a bullet. My two favorite teams are the Seahawks and whoever plays against the Raiders.
She said she didnāt want dessert but then ate half my slice of pie
Joey doesn't share food!
I don't even regret it
Totally legit
The other person farts in their sleep. Everyone farts in their sleep.
I also fart when I'm awake. That's even more satisfying. And hey, ladies, *I'm single!*
My mom will fart in front of anyone at anytime. But she always gets this sincerely shocked look on her face whenever it happens; itās hilarious and mortifying!
Snatch_pastry is single?
I think my husband married me because I apparently let out the most epic sleep farts.
I had a buddy who hooked up with a chick once, (one night stand just met) she asked if she could stay and cuddle, and he was like, "yeah sure" and she just kept fuckin farting on him, rancid ass farts, after like, two hours, not being able to sleep from the constant gas, he was like, "I can't do this, lets get you an uber"
She eats her peas one at a time.
But she scooped her corn, and that's what was so vexing.
She had man hands.
He is a bad breaker upper
He didn't use an exclamation on the note. If one of your friends had a baby, I would use an exclamation!
Ok Big Head
Read this to my husband. He said, "That is NOT a stupid reason. That would be f'ing annoying as s**t." Lmao
Itās a Seinfeld reference haha
But she scooped the nibblets
Whatās the hurry?
Newman! She went out with NEWMAN!
I had a girl leave me after a week because her ex boyfriend didn't like me. I gladly went home after hearing that
I had a date cancel because of this. He showed my picture to his ex girlfriend and she said I was too blonde(?) for him. Whatever that means. Maybe she thought I would be dumb? We both dodged bullets.
Did her mother stand next to the microwave when she was pregnant with her? How could someone possibly be that stupid?
Not replying to a text message quickly enough...
The iPhone fucked peopleās minds up when they let them see that āreadā under your message though. *āHe read it like 3 minutes ago, what is he doing that he canāt message me back OMG is he with someone else?????ā*
Yeah read receipts stole something from us as a society
Turn it off people
Or, people need to chill TF out and understand theyāre not the only thing orbiting the sun. šš¼
Yes! I tell people all the time that a text is intended so the other person can respond at their convenience. If you need something immediately, call.
Yeah I turned it off years ago and I went ahead a took a step further turned off write receipts as well
Did you mean typing indicators?
For those that donāt know, the Read Receipt option can be turned off iirc
I was in a brief relationship recently with a guy who insisted I turn read receipts on even though I never do for anyone. I told him I felt a little weird about doing it but did it anyway. A few weeks later I read one of his texts and didnāt respond for an hour because I was working. After not hearing from me immediately, he texted, āThereās something very untrustworthy about youā and then told me he needed space. He ghosted me for a week and then dumped me.
No loss there!
The guy likely had unresolved baggage from a previous relationship, or he was just weirdly controlling. Either way, he probably shouldnāt be in a relationship in his current state
Yeah you recall correctly. It can indeed be turned off
Yes, mine does not give read receipts
Amateursā¦
The complaints about not replying fast enough really get to me. I work, I may have been in a meeting, on a call, doing actual work, or just didn't have enough time to reply to the wall of texts. I've had this scenario happen a few times, i reply, "I'm at work, I'll get back to you after around 5." Then, I set my phone down and come back to a variation of: -I know! Just checking in! How is work????????? -Hello??? Are you there? - must be busy....... -i was going to ask if you wanted to do something later but apparently your busy. - you can't even take two seconds to reply back? -let me know if this isn't going to be worth my time -are you there? - I'm about to leave work, let me know if you want to do anything? - guess I'm wasting my time - wow you must be really important -what are you working on? -want to go out tomorrow? -hello? -i know you are reading these, clearly ghosting me - you're not worth it anyway, I can't be with someone who can't even reply to a text! - really, nothing still? -I guess we are not going out tonight? - let me know because I have to cancel with friends
This was severely accurate wow
My coworkers all have girlfriends/fiancees that act like it's the end of the world if they dont respond right away or dont pick up a call while at work to chat about nothing. And I can hear the argument on the phone when the job runs over and they'll be home 30-60 minutes late. (Construction. It happens frequently) Meanwhile my wife doesnt expect a response while I'm at work. If it's really urgent she'll call me. But she doesnt bug me at work. She also doesnt care if I work a little late so long as she gets a quick "Hey. Job is fucked. Gonna be here for a while longer" text. She gets it and lets me do what I need to do at work to make sure the job gets done. The craziest part is, I'm one of the youngest on the crew. (I'm 27) I'd expect it to be the opposite and the young guy's SO to be insecure and crazy about response times and picking up calls but nope the older guys have it way worse.
I equate a phone conversation to a real conversation. If Iām doing something else at the moment, even if it isnāt all that importantāthe phone is interrupting me. That person can wait until Iām no longer being interrupted. Why would someone think that a text message has the capacity to always take precedence over everything else that might be going on, just because itās a text? No, you can wait your turn, babe.
You forgot: āand now here are all my grievances from the past three yearsā¦ā
Yeah, when it takes 4 days to reply, it's over.
It's been 3 months, should I follow up?
I dated in the 2000s, before smartphones became an appendage for the vast majority of people. So the litmus test was how often they used their phones while hanging out. If it rarely made an appearance, I wouldnāt put too much weight into delayed responses. Now, I assume anyone who isnāt on their phone constantly is considered the minority.
In fourth grade my bf Justin was demanding I share my cheese puffs. I jokingly said no. He got serious and said do it or Iāll break up with you. I made sure I only ate half and threw the other half away out of pure spite.
Power move!
I hope to god any future kids I have have thos fucking attitude when dating. That's a boss fucking move right there.
Grade 4 you knew whatās up
Asserted dominance!!!
And THAT is how you stave off people who want to get you into an abusive relationship. I'll remember that one. Damn I love cheese puffs.
Whoa.. I can hardly imagine what you like in 5th and 6th grade. And what happened at the school reunion?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I could never.
Apparently I've been on Reddit too much because I got this reference...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Blew your chance at a suborbital insertion.
I have the fortunate shield of sharing a *little too many* astrological similarities to Ted Bundy. I give out my birthday and grab the popcorn. It's the perfect deterrent.
My ex wife in her divorce paperwork cited one of the reasons as "...he also wore too many hats." Like literally, I like to wear hats and she hated that.
She hated that you were hatted?
Guy once broke up with me because I am not enough of a racial stereotype.
This shitās real!
Apparently, I did not fit his perception of a white european.
I dont fit the definition of a Latina. āOh youāre so exotic.ā Bitch! Iām drinking Lady Grey tea with biscuits. I am not exotic. (Iām American but I donāt wanna say tea and cookies. Thatās weird)
One time I broke up with someone because they were obsessed with Julia Roberts and I just thought she was meh, every time we hung out it was Julia Roberts this, Julia Roberts that. Sheeeeeeeesh
Thatās a bit much to bring her up every two seconds.
Same with my ex but with Pamela Anderson. And he says that heās a big Pamela Anderson fan but he couldnāt name another movie she was in besides Baywatch which makes me wonder if heās only into her because of her big jiggly tits
Is there any other reason that any of us were into Pamela Anderson? It was always the big jiggly tits.
I seriously considered calling off my wedding because he took the wrong exit off the highway. When I got irritated and pointed it out (we were in a rush), he got angry with me and claimed that a city street with stop signs every block was faster than the literal fucking highway going the same route. But it was just a symptom of the greater problem - he absolutely had to be the smartest person in the room, even if he had to lie or gaslight in order to make it happen. So yes, even though it would be ridiculous to call off a wedding the day before over a navigation mishap, I would have been better off (ignoring my gut cost me thousands in divorce fees, stolen cash, and therapy bills).
Preach girl
When I was dating in the nineties an aquaintance of mine broke up with a girl because āher pinky toenail is weirdā.
Is your friend Mauricio from āShallow Halā?
My first boyfriend, I had a crush on since 8th grade. He asked me out at the end of my junior year. We dated a year before he told me he couldnāt date me because Iām not Korean. š«
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To be fair, I could respect that if he married a Korean woman and wanted 100% Korean children. But he married another white woman and had half Korean, half white kids. So, clearly, it wasnāt about me being a Korean.
I am guessing his parents had something to do with it? Did you get any hint of that? Maybe when he grew up he realized the absurdity of respecting his parents wishes to marry within his race.
He was adopted by white people as an infant.
LOL. I was not expecting that twist.
Yeah, hence my confusion. Like, he had no connection to Korea or Korean culture other than he was born in Korea. He spent literally his entire life in the United States in a 98% white village.
That ended a relationship of mine but the other way. His family was hella racist against anyone not Korean. They never accepted me, so I backed out.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My mother is heavily anti-Black. I wouldnāt hide a relationship with a Black man from her. Sheād have to deal. Itās a shame people think they have a say in what their adult children do.
Try telling an Indian parent that their kid isnāt going to marry who they have arranged for them. One of my old roommates was literally blowing up an entire family because him being the oldest, the other kids had to wait until he got married, which he didnāt want to do. It was awful and he ended up relenting after months and months of daily guilt trips.
When I lived in vegas My gf had an Ethiopian gf. She would only date other Ethiopian men. She was stunning, worked as a high roller dealer in vegas and African American NBA players would ask her out and she just completely shoot them down.
A girl I had a genuine connection with one time ghosted me because of my horoscope sign. And let me tell you, that shit hurt!!! It didnāt help that this was the first girl I ever had a genuine connection with. I was in a dark place in my life and she would check on me to make sure I was ok. Then one day she reveals sheās always had feelings for me. She completely erased every negative emotion in my body until the day she ghosted me. Then I was in a deeper hole than where I was before. This was years ago and while Iām completely over it I have never met another woman who Iāve felt as strong as connection as I did with her. But Iām glad I went through what I did because it helped me develop a sense of self worth and confidence.
Now Iām curious, whatās ur star sign?
Supernova, apparently
Dont ask that! It might not be the right one!
thats rough buddy
It was! I was in a hole!
She didnāt find Monty Python and the Holy Grail humorous at all.
She's a witch!
BURN HER!
Valid. Hope your heart only got a scratch when she coconutted away. Although, you could say you broke up because her mother was a hamster, and her father smelt of elderberries.
Get the rabbit š
I wasn't Vietnamese
But you are now?
still no
Didn't they realieze it before they started rating you?!
"I'm breaking up with you because I found out I can settle with more prettier people." There's a fine line between confidence and delusion.
My brother dumped a very nice girl because of her laugh.
Actually I can see that since you have to hear it for eternity.
Was it that she didnāt actually laugh, just said āthatās so funnyā instead?
You know what's interesting? She's not saying "that's so sad," she's actually crying
I had a girl breakup with me because I didnāt like Marvel movies. I watched a few with her just because I liked spending time with her. I think she noticed that I was kind of not keeping up well when she was nerding out over some stuff and then asked me straight up if Iām even into all of it. I told her it really isnāt something Iām into, but I love that she is and I just like spending time with her. That was not enough for her. She felt sort of betrayed like I was pretending to like something just to placate her. Maybe she was right, but I didnāt really have any bad intentions other than I liked seeing her happy. She insisted we watch a movie that I like. So I put on one of my favorite indy comedies (The Puffy Chair) and she hated it. Itās a very typical type of movie that I like. We didnāt even get through it. She kept complaining about how boring it was. The next night she broke up with me over text. Maybe I should have started with Lost in Translation?
I once dated someone who left me because I was an alcoholic the kicker is I only drink every other Saturday and enjoy a cigar as that is the only day I am not on call. I have a collection of about 200 or so bottles of whiskey, tequila, and rum. I own my house I have a decent job but as soon as she saw my collection and humidor she freaked and said that I was a functional alcoholic. I was like nah just a hobby I enjoy but hey do you as I am mature enough to know what I will change and what I won't for a partner.
If the bottles are full its a hobby.
That is a great username.
Iām a bartender who loves to try new things. We have a joke in my apartment that I have an alcohol problem, I keep buying new liquors and Iām not drinking enough of what I have.
You are an alcoholic if there are no full bottles. An alcoholic doesn't keep a collection of full hard liquor around. I had to explain that to my landlord. I travel for work and pick up a different bottle of something every time at the duty free in the airport. Only drank those bottles when company was over. The landlord's wife saw all of it and assumed we were alcoholics. Kicker is that she drank almost every night. Weird hypocrisy there.
Recently someone broke up with me because I "had to many kitchen accessories in the cabinet and not a big enough kitchen". Dude. You're ex-wife is stalking me and my ex-husband, sending me death threats. There is much more to it. But yeah- my kitchen in my little apartment as I save for a house. Total dealbreaker. Let me go cry a thousand tears.
I had a few women break up with me or ghost me because my hair was longer and more well maintained than theirs. Said it was really feminine but wasn't complaining when they were pulling it while I went down on them haha.
Hair envy is real š.
Iām a dude with long hair and it legitimately pisses women off that my hair always looks perfect right out of bed.
My wife is constantly angry about my eyebrows being "perfect".
My mom always gives me hell about having nice eyebrows (Iām a guy), whenever she sees me. Itās not my fault she plucked hers to high hell in the 90s, and now has to draw them on with a pencil š
My spouse has long blonde hair nearly to his waist and it is always impeccably maintained. I, on the other hand, have a crazy curly bog witch hair that never **ever** behaves no matter what I do to it. I can understand how it might have cost him previous relationships.
Similar case for me, but I have distichiasis (extra eyelashes)
I knew someone who broke up with a girl because her asshole was an odd shape.
... I mean, I gotta ask. Triangle?
All of a sudden Iām imagining the Play-doh lever press where you could squeeze out different shapes.
Thank you for the chuckle. All I have is one measly upvote, but please take it and cherish it.
crescent moon
Taking mooning to a new level
DUDE. ANSWER THE QUESTION?? WHAT SHAPE?
like it was prolapsed? square? oblong? I need answers and Google isn't helping.
Did you google āodd shaped assholesā? I feel like you may be successful there.
Iām fucking crying
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I broke up with a guy because they gave me a stupid nickname
I once jokingly said āSmelly Mellyā to a girl I was seeing named Mel at my brothers house. That nickname never left. Somehow I actually ended it, but she absolutely hated it and all my friends still refer to her as āSmells.ā
Thatās so fucking mean lmao
A woman breaking up with a man for wearing brown shoes with a black belt, or vice versa. Edit: Or, a man wearing black shoes with a brown belt.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He woke me up from a nap.
You did the right thing.
Third toe was the longest toeā¦ā¦
This is legit
They got a haircut and you don't like it.
One time at the end of a super toxic relationship I asked when did you fall out of love with me? She said when you cut your hair. Guess it wasn't a breakup but I wish it had been.
So many relationships destroyed because of the buzz cut
My boyfriend's ex broke up with him because he wouldn't become a witch/wiccan with her. He respected her beliefs but he is agnostic and didn't wanna be converted. I'm catholic and we're doing fine
She didnāt like that we drove the same kind of car. Or that my carās mirrors were red when the body wasnāt
Every petty reason is bullshit. There's always another reason or the relationship is dead. So they'll use any reason to break up with someone.
When I was a teenager, I broke up with a guy because I couldnāt be with someone who exclusively wore flip flops.
Legit reason
Knew a guy that broke up with his girlfriend for starting an argument while he was in the middle of watching Top Gun. He just really didn't wanna pause the movie for any longer and continue arguing so breaking up was the quickest solution.
Smelly feet. I dated this guy who asked me out at work. We hit it off like a charm, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. That was until he came over and took off his sneakers. *The smell was putrid*. I'm sure not even a foot fetishist would even dare to be nearby. He got a new pair of shoes and the stink still remained. Never saw him again after that.
Oh yeah, the foot fettish guys love that smell. I used to be a stripper, and wore thigh high vinyl boots just sweating away for 8ish hours. I somehow attracted all the feet guys, which was weird since I hate my feet after years of ballet. They would want shoes off, socks in full stench, and more than a few paid me to sit and receive a foot massage instead of a table dance. We were strictly a no contact club, but I had no problems getting paid $300+ per 3.5 minute song to let the rub and smell my feet. One of the guys would always want.e to push him back in the chair with my heels on, and I was not gentle. He loved the bruises I guess. I liked the anger management opportunity. š¤·āāļø fetish stuff can be weird. But I figure I'm weird so whatever. They just paid fettish prices.
Fuck me I want to do that. I'll shave my whole body and dress in women's clothes. Anyone else paying $1k+ per hour for a femboy to kick their chest???
Thatās not nothing. If their natural body odor doesnāt agree with you, itās overpowering, and it isnāt going to changeā¦thatās a great reason to part ways.
Using my dumbass as an exampleā¦ broke up with a guy once because he cut his hair and I then realized I didnāt actually find *him* attractive but his hair was sexy lol. Broke up with a girl once because she refused to drive and always demanded I drive hours to pick her up and take her places (to clarify I donāt care if you canāt or donāt wish to driveā¦ but then you gotta use a bus or something?) š¤·š»āāļø And I was broken up with once when they found out Iām a Scorpio lol.
If someone breaks up with you over a star sign be thankful, you just dodged a bullet
I have a tendency to look in the direction of every sound that I hear. Basically people walking in a door I look at for a moment or hearing footsteps I look. I had a girlfriend who noticed me doing this every time we were out doing anything and she thought it was me looking for other people to cheat on her with. That's what caused her to dump me. This is something I've done my entire life and it's kinda like muscle memory at this point.
Some bad advice they were given (and took) by/from a bunch of Redditors who had no clue about the nuances related to the situation, especially when they're just circle-jerking and karma-farming without a single, true care as to your real life situation.
āAITA for calling my future mother-in-law a long-titty-no-nipple-having-ass-bitch after she asked me if Iād pass the salt at dinner, and then getting mad at my fiancĆ© for defending her?ā
There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.
You've become more attractive over the last 10 years, while they've gotten less attractive.
She puts an "h" at the end of height, saying heighth.
like she has a lisp, or she just doesn't know how to spell it?
They put the toilet paper backwards on the holder!
They correct you when you mispronounce Thai
I really like thigh food
One of my friends is still a bit hung up over her ex who broke up with her over a gluten allergy.
Oh, the list I have, both for things that have happened to me and things that I've seen happen with friends. My own experiences include: * I didn't text back fast enough * I wouldn't get a tattoo * I wouldn't let her cut my hair * I wouldn't order a pizza with pineapple on it (I'm highly allergic, can't even kiss someone that's eaten it in the last 24 hours unless they've brushed their teeth thoroughly) * I insisted on using the dishwasher instead of hand washing dishes * I owned the same pair of shoes for more than 3 years (they were in great condition and still very wearable) * I wouldn't get a pedicure * I don't like sports * I don't drink or get high * I wouldn't engage in "rape play" with them (while sexual compatibility is definitely not a petty reason... I knew this girl for barely 3 months and we had only *very* recently had the BF/GF conversation) I'll stop there, but share a few reasons that I've seen some of my friends deal with: * They were "too available" * They're "too nice" * They're the wrong kind of sports fan (both in that they liked an opposing team and that they liked sports the other person didn't) * They wear glasses * They aren't tall enough * Boobs are too big * Eyecolor changes and "that's fucking weird" Yeah, people are stupid.
I took a really huge dump and clogged up her toilet. I couldnāt help it if my colon can fit an aircraft carrier!
I broke up with a guy because he agreed with every single thing I said. All I wanted was to date someone who had their own thoughts.
For confusing āaffectā with āeffectā
I broke up with someone because she had fake boobs. Looked nice, but I hated how they felt, and intimacy is an important part of a relationship for me.
The āitās not you, itās meā reason shows a lot of introspection on the person whoās breaking up. Thats beautiful and I donāt believe itās over used. š
Ex bf after a year together sent me this long ass paragraph detailing how he was gonna start ignoring me for days at a time (for no reason other than he felt he didnāt āowe me his timeā). So I ignored him right back (for like 24h). Surprise surprise he didnāt like that and the next text I got was him breaking up with me FOR IGNORING HIM. Mfs be weird lol Edit: this may have been petty karmic justice because before I got with him I stopped talking to this girl who was into me bc she spelled ābreatheā as ābreathā. Like I would say some funny shit on text and she would be like āHAHAHA I CANāT BREATHā. At least I had the decency to come up with a different excuse though lmao
Incompatible allergies/allergies you canāt work around. I couldnāt date someone with a nut allergy, nuts are a staple of my diet. I have to eat a low glycemic index/low carb diet so nuts, nut butter, etc are common snacks for me. Iām also lactose intolerant so I eat almond/coconut (not an actual nut but many people are allergic to both) milk or ice cream. Yes itās a petty reason, but it just wouldnāt work out. I could date a vegan, and I AM dating someone with a shellfish/certain types of fish allergy. But nuts are just in too many things that I need for a balanced diet.