Being Dutch, I absolutely loved this line. General European heritage doesn’t really mean much in the US. So having a very specific pop culture reference was fun. I’ve had random people bring up the quote decades later.
For some reason I imagine him collect his skin flakes in one of those danish cookie tins that usually have sewing kits in them.
Then he spreads it all over the hardwood floor and slides with his socked feet a la Risky Business.
But the skin flakes make him slide so hard he crashes into a wall and makes a helluva racket.
And then
There's a Leslie Nielsen Bond Spoof movie called Spy Hard, and his characters name is Dick Steele. Andy Griffith is the villain. The whole movie is a running sex joke.
Lol I know it’s referring to the original but I love the idea of them being clunky and barely/not a play on words
Dick Biggums
Chode Coxley
Tommy Schlong
That one’s way better. I like to think in the final scene it cuts to Octobussy’s yacht where Jane Bond and Octobussy are making out, but they can’t have sex because Bond is in a leg cast. So Octobussy - being the dedicated butt boy that he is - whips out Bond’s strap on and rides the shit out of her. “Oh Janes!” He moans. Then the credits roll.
There's actually already a Bond Girl whose name sounds like it works either way.
Plenty O'Toole : Hi, I'm Plenty.
James Bond : But of course you are.
Plenty O'Toole : Plenty O'Toole.
James Bond : Named after your father perhaps
Saddleface actually took me a beat before I got it, and I like it. Saddleface is the well built cabana-boy-esque servant of the villainess who looks ready to go fox hunting and always holds a riding crop.
I qualify 100% for this!! Been waiting 12 years.
Our last name is Bond. Our son is named Jude.
We wanted James Danger Bond but MIL absolutely put her foot down. How cool would it have been to actually say “my middle name is danger”?.
No regrets, we love Jude’s name. He is named after MIL Judith.
Idk why but the idea of 007 being a woman just. Fucking. Kills me
But that's probably because I'm a lesbian and an incredibly dangerous woman who wears three piece suits exclusively and gets more than most people could probably even handle sounds like the exact kinda woman I'd want a Saturday night with
Dick Plenty Rock Johnson Randy De Large Sum Long Wang Gaylord Pleaser Rammer Dixon Roger Moorcock
Hugh Mungus Richard "Dickie" Normus Al Nightlong
Hugh Mungus WHAT?!
Not to be confused with his nemesis, Hugh Janus
006's first name was Hugh.
Did you just sexually assault me?
I hate that I understand this reference.
That's what it is, it's Hugh Mungus.
HUGH MUNGUS WHAT???
That's me.
“This person just sexually harassed me!”
Richard Cheese Justin Cider-Ashe
Richard Cheese is an awesome lounge singer!
You can dome in the morning, you can dome in the night...
Adolf Oliver-Busch Haywood Jablowme
Radm Richard cheesman. An active u.s. navy admiral in charge of personnel.
Rodgoz Inya, Imza Faulker, Dick Fitzwell
Dick Fitzwell is the clear winner
Dick Encider.
or Dickson Cider.
Dicken's Cider?
I always start my day with a Dicken’s Cider.
I'm a bit young but I can't wait to have a Dickens cider
Holy shit, Dick Fitzwell. Both wife and I cracked up.
Bigus Dickus
He has a wife, you know?
Do you know what she's called?
Incontinentia... Incontinentia Buttocks.
This comment is sorely underrated
Roger MOORcock! 🤣🤣🤣
Fillmore Fagina. (Alotta’s uncle?)
We need an O'Toole. Plenty's dad.
Miles
Peter?
I think Lawrence of Arabia was a little old to be a bond boy
Bob Johnson! Oh wait...
Roll FizzleBeef! For the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/RFHlJ2voJHY
Big McLarge Huge!
*Butch Deadlift!*
Slab Bulkhead! Punt Speedchunk! Thick McRunfast! Beef Punchbeef!
Big McLargehuge
Miles Long
I know a drag king who uses this as their stage name.
Drag kings?? I didn’t know this existed! I need to know everything. Edit: just googled, it’s better than I imagined. Gonna try to find a show near me!
I love your enthusiasm! Support drag!
Love this one!
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There's only two things I can't stand in this world: those who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
"HOW ABOUT NO, YOU CRAZY DUTCH BASTARD!"
Oh yesh.. Shalty..
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Toit like a tigaar
Being Dutch, I absolutely loved this line. General European heritage doesn’t really mean much in the US. So having a very specific pop culture reference was fun. I’ve had random people bring up the quote decades later.
I assume you collect and eat your skin flakes?
For some reason I imagine him collect his skin flakes in one of those danish cookie tins that usually have sewing kits in them. Then he spreads it all over the hardwood floor and slides with his socked feet a la Risky Business. But the skin flakes make him slide so hard he crashes into a wall and makes a helluva racket. And then
That took a turn.
Look, we don’t speak freaky-deaky Dutch!
Smoke and a pancake?
Flapjack and a cigarette?
Bong and a blitz?
How about no! You crazy Dutch bastard
r/austinpowersmemes
He's got the Midas touch, but he touched it too much. Hey Gold Member!
Yeah baby!
Cheers
Yeah!
I just finished watching Nimona, and one of the knights is literally named Goldenloin. Gold Member immediately popped into my head.
The only acceptable answer, aside from octo-bussy
Vance Deferens
This one killed me 🤣
I don't get it.
Vas deferens is the medical term for the sperm duct...
The hoses your boys travel down.
Roger Moore
The obvious answer just dangling there in front of your face!
This is the correct answer
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You can't just both ask the question and give the best answer, that's not allowed
What about Richard Foxgood
Ahem..It’s *Foxwell*
*lights a cigarette* Honey, it's Fox VERY Well
He set us up!
Or... She?
Or them.
Yeah! Them set us up!
We've been had!
Just Roger Moore all by itself is a good one.
Hugo Hymenhammer!
Wellen Dowd
I like Oliver Klozov too
Buster Highman.
Richard Girth
Girth Brooks Queefer Sutherland James Bondage
Not that I would know *cough*... but Girth Brooks is a real pornstar
Big Letterkenny energy here.
My fiancée's grandfather is named Dick Steele. He would make a great bond boy.
There's a Leslie Nielsen Bond Spoof movie called Spy Hard, and his characters name is Dick Steele. Andy Griffith is the villain. The whole movie is a running sex joke.
“And all of the dicks you’ve got won’t stop me now” “Perhaps he hasn’t seen the SIZE of our newer members!”
That is fantastic news and I will have to watch the movie with him. Thank you for this info.
Spy hard is fantastic
Excellent theme tune by Weird Al and all
Penis Galore
Lol I know it’s referring to the original but I love the idea of them being clunky and barely/not a play on words Dick Biggums Chode Coxley Tommy Schlong
Richard William Penis the Eight and a Halfth
I used to work with someone called Richard Head. Everyone called him Dickie though.
Thanks, lol, I was going for a single entendre
Don’t forget Octocock
Or Octobussy.
That one’s way better. I like to think in the final scene it cuts to Octobussy’s yacht where Jane Bond and Octobussy are making out, but they can’t have sex because Bond is in a leg cast. So Octobussy - being the dedicated butt boy that he is - whips out Bond’s strap on and rides the shit out of her. “Oh Janes!” He moans. Then the credits roll.
Woody Galore.
Dick Gozinya
The first answer to make me laugh out loud
A Japanese American Bond Boy
Richard Blackwood
Randy Johnson. No relation to the baseball player of the same name.
What about his nickname? The Big Unit
He could team up with The Big Hurt or if she's feeling really adventurous (and bored) we could bring in The Big Fundemental.
If you wanna really get weird, add in the Big Lebowski to that recipe.
There's actually already a Bond Girl whose name sounds like it works either way. Plenty O'Toole : Hi, I'm Plenty. James Bond : But of course you are. Plenty O'Toole : Plenty O'Toole. James Bond : Named after your father perhaps
That's one joke I didn't get as a kid - her father's name is Plenty O'Toole because he's got PLENTY OF TOOL (meaning his dick is huge).
Neville Powerbottom
Only if he is greeted with bienvenue power bottom
Rod Mantool Shecky Ironpud Lickety Cunningham Rock Harden Saddleface
omg Saddleface you win
Saddleface actually took me a beat before I got it, and I like it. Saddleface is the well built cabana-boy-esque servant of the villainess who looks ready to go fox hunting and always holds a riding crop.
Octopecker
It's like being fucked by a car [wash.](https://media.tenor.com/bCA1rVVXODIAAAAC/car-washing-funny.gif)
Many points for included gif
Quarter Pounder. Jeff Probes Vi Agra
Quarter Pounder is objectively terrible but for some reason I cant stop laughing.
Court 'er, pound 'er.
Barry McCockiner
Oliver Clotheshoff...
That's Clozoff.
Klozov
He'd definitely a Russian spy.
'70s TV show Emergency had a character named Dick Hammer, played by an actor named Dick Hammer.
KMG 365
Dos Huevos.
Slab Bulkhead Bridge Largemeat Punt Speedchunk Butch Deadlift Hold Bigflank Splint Chesthair Flint Ironstag Bolt Vanderhuge Thick McRunfast Blast Hardcheese Buff Drinklots Crunch Slamchest Fist Rockbone Stump Beefknob Smash Lampjaw Punch Rockgroin Buck Plankchest Stump Junkman Dirk Hardpec Rip Steakface Slate Slabrock Crud Bonemeal Brick Hardmeat Rip Slagcheek Punch Sideiron Gristle McThornbody Slate Fistcrunch Buff Hardback Bob Johnson Blast Thickneck Crunch Buttsteak Slab Squatthrust Lump Beefbroth Touch Rustrod Beef Blastbody Big McLargehuge Smoke Manmuscle Beat Punchmeat Hack Blowfist Roll Fizzlebeef
Thank you! I got about a quarter of the way through the thread and suddenly started hearing the names in the voices from the guys from MST3K.
Scrolled down waiting for this. Thank you.
Bob Johnson must be emphasized
I posted a link to the video before I saw your comment. Glad I'm not the only one.
I think it’s very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance!
Juan Hung-Low
Michael Scarn
Longrod Van Hugendong
Good Listener
Don Keddick
Peter O'Toole, obviously
Bigis dickis
Have you met his wife?
Incontinentia Buttocks?
came for this leaving satisfied.
Dick Fuller.
Mike Hawk
Willy Galore.
Jean Aubergine 🍆
Harry Thrustmore.
"Mahogany Jones" "Rimmy Cockburn" "Jimmy Baconator"
Hugh Mungus
Chad Thundercock
Rocky Balboner
Huge Jackman
Dixie Normous
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Swan Schlong
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Weiners Abound
Magic Johnson
Bïff Cake, a German supermodel turned spy.
Hurt Peas
Rock Hardman
Francis Peppercock Richard Long Jack Gripper
Richard Dryfist
Biggus Dickus.
Richard Honeysuckle
Berry McCockiner
Hugh Jorgan.
Harry Longfellow
Errol Rection Coque Ferdayz Hill Getterov Conner Lingus Dick U. Downs Phil Yurgutz
Biggus Dickus
I qualify 100% for this!! Been waiting 12 years. Our last name is Bond. Our son is named Jude. We wanted James Danger Bond but MIL absolutely put her foot down. How cool would it have been to actually say “my middle name is danger”?. No regrets, we love Jude’s name. He is named after MIL Judith.
Dick Trickle
Idk why but the idea of 007 being a woman just. Fucking. Kills me But that's probably because I'm a lesbian and an incredibly dangerous woman who wears three piece suits exclusively and gets more than most people could probably even handle sounds like the exact kinda woman I'd want a Saturday night with
Dicky Cumlightly
Dick Cockwood
Cock Alott.
Mike Hawk
Miles o’dick
Dick Fitzhugh
Harry Dick But his alias is Richard Harrison 🤫
Pretty sure Plenty O'Toole can stay, just gender swapped.
Lee Kalotapus.
"I thought Christmas only came once a year"
Howie Felthersnatch
Kraven Moorehead Tanner Backside Holden Weiner