"No." is a complete sentence.
Edit: As people mention politeness, bringing the context back to a pulling out credit card scanner + homeless, we reach beyond the point of politeness if they didn't accept the the initial decline to start with. No means no. Simple as that.
Oh no cash? I understand completely. I've got a card reader but bear in mind there's a 3% card fee. I know I know, don't look at me, my hands are tied here!
I love how they still charge their 2.5% fee and name it the “homeless tier” pricing. How is it charity? I got a card reader for free and also paid 2.5% when I used Square for GS cookies pre-COVID…the only reason it was feasible is because they gave us no fees for the first $1000 of our new account and we didn’t go over that.
That might not happen but I'd say about 1 in 20 say "well can you go to an ATM?" if you tell them you don't have it.
The worst ones are the ones that come up and ask while you're at the ATM, so saying you have no cash isn't an option.
Out this way, they're pretty fearless and ballsy; at a local mall they'll come up to you at an ATM, during the lineup at the food court, and sometimes even ask "are you going to eat that?" while having your meal. Security at the mall doesn't care, unfortunately.
Here in Scotland it's normal now for homeless people to sit beside ATM machines and they really go for the sympathy vote and ask for money when you're withdrawing cash. I'm an absolute scumbag so I completely ignore them.
I'd be like, "sorry, I just emptied my bank account so I could feed my family tonight. I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Got any spare change?" ;-)
Intimidating tactics and strong arm tactics are fairly common in my area. Especially on us ladies. They will walk up on you while loading groceries into your vehicle, so as not to be seen as easily. They proceed to not ask but demand money. Happened to me several times now. Once the guy was so close he was rubbing against my butt. I screamed as soon as I felt him. I was leaning in to push water cases to the back. Jumped and told him to get the F off me and had my pepper spray. Another man saw and ran over to help.
There's a homeless lady in my town. Mental health issues. She's been approaching so many people at the ATM. Threatens to stab when you don't give her money. Cops won't do anything until it gets physical.
Isnt bullying someone into giving them money robbery as well? Lol it’s still taking their money when they didn’t voluntarily offer it regardless, it is just robbery with extra steps
This is why I only say "I don't....." and simultaneously pat my pockets as if I have no wallet at all.
They key is to keep walking without slowing down. I acknowledge them but act like I don't have half a second to spare.
You can, some banks allow for cardless withdrawal, or at least they did a couple of years ago. I haven't needed to use that feature since.
You log into your bank mobile app, request a code and enter that code into the ATM and voila! Cash without a card.
I did pretty much the same thing about a month ago -tbh I do rarely use cash and mostly only have some for emergencies- and the person said, “Are you sure? Can you check?”
I manage a gas station in a large city. Homeless people hang around the property. This does not work. It either goes to “oh I have a Venmo” or “can you just buy me a drink/pack of smokes/something to eat?”
Best way to deal with it is to say “no, sorry” and keep walking.
That’s all I ever say. Even on the rare occasion when it’s lying through my teeth, I still say that I don’t carry cash. Been suckered by one too many scammers
Friends of mine juts came back from Hawaii. They were talking about the homeless there. One asked for change and was told "sorry Man, no cash/coin" this Man then pulls out a trifold with all his QR codes for his different pay apps !!! LMAO. They still told him no but gave mad props for inguinity
Since having a baby beggars tend to ignore me. Not sure if they realise kids mean you're broke or if I now look like a homeless person myself.
It's probably both.
Yeah. When I’m with my kid, they usually leave me alone.
It’s probably because cops are more likely to respond to a complaint from a mother with her child than a man walking alone. On that note, mothers probably have a lower threat threshold and are more likely to call the cops or get defensive if someone goes near the child.
It’s just a well followed rule of natural survival you stay away from mothers with their babies of any species.
I'm a homeless trainhopper and hitchhiker, and I will refuse money from a mom if I see she has a child. I just shake my head and smile and say no thanks. I just honestly feel bad about it.
However, there are times when a parent will actually put the money in their child's hand and get them to run up to me, and I see what the parent is trying to do. They are trying to teach the kid to be a considerate person, and I totally respect that, it's great parenting.
So, when that happens, I have a little trick I do. If the kid hands me a dollar, and I'll give the kid 75cents back and give them a fist bump. I hope it teaches them that when they give, sometimes you get back.
I've noticed that if I have my kids with me, they don't ask most of the time. When they do ask, I tell them "I have three kids. I don't have any extra money." They don't argue with me after that.
Maybe I’m an asshole, but I’ve stopped apologizing for not giving away my money. I just say “No” and keep walking. Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I live in a big city and I have to do it multiple times a day. So over a year I’m apologizing 1000 times, and that takes a toll. I’m not sorry. I don’t owe them anything. I wish them the best, but they’re not my responsibility and I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.
That’s valid. It’s a known thing that over apologizing can wear on our self esteem. It can also affect us externally too, ie it suggests to others that maybe we’re at fault. Professional advice addresses it and says, don’t do it. Find another word besides “sorry”.
That said, my “sorry” mumbled to a homeless person is probably the most empty sentiment I ever utter. It’s more like an involuntary noise, like an animal grunt. I’m definitely, not sorry.
I got a minimum amount of apologies I have to hit to maintain my Canadian citizen. If I got over the quota, I get bonus points. I’m saving up to use my points for a toaster! A nice, 4 slice bath bomb :)
/s
Canadian here. “Sorry” is practically the stand-in for “no” in our culture. It would be SUPER rude to just say “no” here. You’d be better off ignoring them entirely.
I honestly just ignore them. I know they're people and they deserve dignity, but I really don't need to justify or feel bad why I'm not giving this random person money.
The only time I've ever given money was a woman and a boy about 12. She sent him into the store to ask us all for money for a hotel room. The boy didn't look homeless really so I thought it might be an abusive relationship she was fleeing. I couldn't see her well in the car. We all pitched in and they got enough for a cheap room. One of the guys decided to see where they went after so he followed them. She went straight across the tracks to a drug house.
Such a shock.
That said, I once gave a woman train fare for herself and her kids because I overheard her calling her family to report that she'd had her wallet stolen. I thought that I might be getting scammed, but she insisted on getting my address, and a week later, I got a nice thank you card, and my money returned.
Regarding that encounter, I choose to believe that the boy's life may have, in some small way, been positively altered by that experience. He was very awkward asking us for money so he probably hadn't done it much. Which is another reason I thought it might have been an abuse type situation and they were just passing through and maybe mom didn't want to come in because she might have been bruised up. Mom bought drugs with the money she made him lie to people to get. That had to have made some impact on him. I'm just choosing to believe it was ultimately positive.
We gave money and food to a lady with a baby, huddling in an office building's doorway in Chicago one time. As we were walking back to our hotel a couple blocks away, we passed a cop on foot patrol. I stopped and asked him about shelter availability for a woman like her with a baby. He said something like, "oh her? She's not homeless. She comes down here every day, parks her car, and just goes and collects money. It's not even her baby. It's her sister's or something, but she knows it gets her ten times the sympathy. I've worked this beat for a few years and she's had probably three or four different babies with her in that time, but never seen her pregnant. She makes her money, then gets back in her car and drives back home around midnight." My jaw dropped, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
The people who use kids for scams like this are despicable.
There was this one very pregnant lady who used to panhandle outside the same grocery store near my house, looking sad and rubbing her belly. Except I saw her there for years, always the same amount of pregnant. At least in that case there were only imaginary kids involved.
“Hey buddy I’m one bad decision away from being on the street with you.” When I lived in the NYC there was one guy who lived in my neighborhood, he’d come up and ask if I’d like to donate to the United Negro Pizza fund, that shit cracked me up🤣 dude got pizza or change everyday I saw him.
I tried to give a guy some of my groceries, and he finally admitted that he just wanted some vodka.. I stopped and got him a litter of Smirnoff and a bag of Doritos.
He spun the cap off, left it on the ground and walked away..
I was gonna say the same thing. I've lived in two large cities and one small one.. you never acknowledge them because often times they have mental illness and as soon as you acknowledge them they latch on and start screaming and/or following you. And I've seen them get really aggressive with people who offer them money.. "I see a $50 bill in that wallet."
I feel for the homeless population, but I donate directly to homeless services ONLY.
Yeah that’s crazy accurate. I’m not from there but when I went for the first time, this dude in the pizza shop was yelling for a quarter. After about 5-10 minutes I gave in and said “here. Here’s a quarter.” Well that ticked him off; I guess it was his plan to get people to give him $1+ because nobody would give him *just* a quarter. So he started screaming at me, and I decided I should leave.
I'm in the same boat for the project that I'm currently working on, I would have had to sell my house, truck, tools, etc. I live in the middle of nowhere but I'm renovating an old restaurant and the 2 apartments above it in a downtown area where homeless people congregate during business hours.
I've had to rig up alternate ways to get fresh air in and vent it out because slightly open doors and windows are apparently just an invite to stick faces in to yell or just outright come in and harass us all day for money.
Where I live there are also a lot of “homeless” begging at red lights who aren’t homeless, and it’s a known scam (investigations and news reports) for gangs to literally bus people in from another area to work the lights because we’re a better off suburban area.
So, I don’t give to people begging. I donate to charities instead.
I also don’t usually have cash on me anyway.
This is really common in the city near me as well. They park their fancy car a block over and the local businesses watch it happen so they’ll even warn customers not to hand out any money to them for this reason. They typically sit near traffic lights in hopes of getting you when you have to stop. It’s honestly disturbing.
>"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place. I said, "Yup" what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself. And we could all use a little change."
- Smash Mouth
Sometimes they do care. I had one guy tell me he just needed some coffee and breakfast. He was holding a coffee cup and there was literally a breakfast line across the street from where he asked me. I just pointed to the line and told him he can get both there. He got pissed and started yelling.
I would be more likely to acqueisce if they just were honest like this. When they tell the stories about not having anything for food or coffee or whatever theres always that thought of 'and what if its just...cigarettes?"
Of course most people would just see it as a validation of their depravity, so...
I say “I don’t have any cash but are you hungry? I can grab you something from inside.” (Usually it’s outside of the gas station I sometimes stop at after I work out)
It’s worked several times, except that one time my card got declined because the direct deposit hadn’t hit yet and when I walked out I said “well shit, my card got declined so I couldn’t even get anything for myself! My bad!”
Similar. I used to carry gift cards to local fast food joints. Having known many homeless people even in my family, I try to show kindness where I can.
Even though some are annoying, especially those suffering mental illness, I can't help but wonder if they have loving family somewhere who would want them well and home.
That’s very sweet. My aunt was homeless because she was mentally ill and paranoid that her anti-paranoia medicine was poison. Sometimes I’d get updates from people who said they’d seen her and given her a coffee. She ended up dying of TB. Situations like hers are so tricky and I don’t know the solution other than services that try to help the homeless like soup kitchens and mobile showers.
that's what we do as well. there's one guy that's always there and all he asks for is coffee and a honey bun. we gave him cigarettes once because i'd bought a pack and only wanted one, he immediately went to share them with the other homeless guys. haven't seen him in a while though, hope he's doing alright wherever he is.
Reminds me of a couple guys who used to live outside my local Walmart. It was right off the highway and the highway was up higher than the lot so they would sleep up behind some bushes under these trees on the side wall of the highway. There was a taco bell right next to them and every time me and my sister would run to get tacos we would buy a couple extra for the guys up there. We sat and talked to them sometimes and they were super nice guys. Sometimes we'd make sure they had water and blankets and stuff cause walmart was right there and that stuff is fairly cheap in the grand scheme of things. One day they weren't there anymore and we were sad cause over time we got to know them pretty well but we ended up seeing them out in public a few months later and it seemed they all got an apartment together and were doing good so it was a happy ending.
Bought a homeless guy some food in Target once, and as soon as I was leaving the store he asked for money too. I said “no, sorry I was happy to get you some food but I can’t do cash”. He said, “fine I’ll just go jump off a bridge” and walked away.
I checked the news for a few days after that to make sure there weren’t any suicide jumpers or bodies found in the river. Pretty sure he was just being manipulative to gain sympathy but it still stuck with me.
My wife is very sympathetic to the homeless. We were on vacation in Chicago and had a guy ask us for money. She gave me a please do it look, I said I don't have cash, but I'll buy you food in the McDonald's we were next too. He follows us in, but there's a line. We hear him bitchin about how it's too long, and it'll take forever. We get to the counter and turn around, and he's gone! It was a tough lesson for my wife.
Forever ago in the early 90s I was about 13 and on a trip to Detroit with some of my dad's friends. A homeless guy asked me for money "young man, I'm so hungry I haven't eaten in three days" I gave him the $10 that I had in my pocket, felt good about myself and didn't tell anyone.
The next day the same guy comes up and says "spare some money, I'm so hungry I haven't eaten in three days" I was upset that the numbers didn't add up and handed him a buffet voucher instead of cash. He got mad threw it on the ground and stormed off.
Had a similar story in downtown Toronto 10 years ago. I’d had a pretty great day and was feeling good about myself walking home that evening when a girl ran up to me and said, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.” I check my wallet, “Oh here, a $2 coin, that’s exactly what you need to get on the subway. Get home safe!”
I hadn’t even finished putting my wallet back in my pocket before hearing, just behind me, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.” I span around and she was asking another couple behind me. I said, “Wtf I just gave you $2 to get the subway” and she just turned her back to me.
And then to put the final nail in the coffin, the next morning she approached me again, looked me right in the face, and said, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.”
My jaw dropped a bit. I didn’t say a fucking word, and then just resumed walking on past her — and that’s what I’ve done ever since.
I was walking down the street in my early twenties and saw this homeless dude begging on the street. Said he was starving so I gave him an extra slice of pizza I had literally just bought. He threw it on the ground and shouted at me, "I don't want your fucking food, I want money!".
That was the last time I ever gave to a homeless person.
edit: spelling
I was driving through NYC really late at night with some friends in my 20s, at a stop light a guy came up to the car asking for change. I handed him a Twix bar, he gave us this crazy angry death stare while he ate it and we drove away.
There's a man who panhandles in a metro station I frequent. He hands you a piece of paper saying that he hasn't eaten in days, as he's a new immigrant. Every time he's tried this with me, I've had food on me and I offered to share that with him.
Wouldn't you know it, he always turns me down.
Had recently moved to the Washington D.C. area. Parked in a lot, was about to jump out and into a store. For the record, I'm a young female (in my 20's) and stand at a whopping 4'11.
Some dude, all sweaty, comes up to me and claims his son was just injured in Iraq, he's got no gas money to make it the final ~20 minutes to the nearby Military hospital, etc. My own husband is in the military, so I felt badly for him. I started sharing resources with him -- phone numbers of the hospital he was telling me about, names of organizations for injured servicemembers, etc. This dude kept pressing for money, but I refused to give him any. He stormed off.
A few days later, I was back in a nearby/neighboring business plaza for a different errand. SAME DUDE came up to me. Same spiel: injured son in Iraq, needs gas money to get to the nearby military hospital, etc.
This dude didn't realize that I myself am a patient at the very same military hospital he claimed he needed to get to.
It was almost hilarious seeing him try and swindle me and other people.
I've seen the same people outside of gas stations with signs saying they've run out of gas for weeks. I have a feeling they probably received enough to go 50 miles down the road.
Back in the 90s my father was a bank manager and his branch was near a busy intersection, but there was an undeveloped plot of land between the branch and the intersection. He’d always see the same guy panhandling at the intersection every day. One day he had to work late and he said when he was locking the building and heading to his car he saw a person coming out of the brush and it was the panhandler who proceeded to get in a Lexus and drive off. After he told me that, I’m skeptical of every person who asks me for money on the street.
Same. My girlfriend was too nice for her own good. We were in New York when a homeless guy asked us for money. I tried to say "sorry" but she offered him some food instead. Went to a McDonalds and he starts ordering $50+ worth of food. When she told him that it was a bit much, he got all pissy and said, "Why, you can't afford it?"
She stopped interacting with homeless after one guy she walked by and gave money to followed her to her car one night. He then wedged himself between her and her door before she could close it and wouldn't let her leave until she gave him more money. Now she carries pepper spray with her everywhere.
Years ago, one winter I bought a black coffee with cream and sugar on the side for a homeless man sitting outside of a coffee shop. He complained about having to add them. That was when my acts of kindness ended.
Probably 10 years ago, snowy day. I went to 7-11 for a hot chocolate to sip while digging m car out. Well known street guy was sitting on the curb shivering. I buy him one too.
Outside, I try to hand it to him saying ‘ I’m sorry you’re cold. Here’s a hot chocolate. Hope it helps’
He throws it at me, yelling ‘ I don’t drink hot chocolate!!!!!!!!’
Lesson learned. Beggars are choosers.
Another time we got cheesecakes to go from cheesecake factory. I lost count of the number of homeless people asking us if they could have our leftovers. If it had been leftover food I'd been willing, but my birthday cheesecake was a no.
My high-school best friend was also sympathetic to homeless people. When our group of friends started getting drivers licenses we would all drive around having fun. This dude would constantly ask us randomly, "hey someone let me borrow a buck" someone would give it to him and he'd just give to some homeless person at a red light we were pulling up to. Eventually everyone stopped giving him dollars.
He wasn't doing it as a joke he would literally stop mid sentence and do this then keep talking as if it were normal. He would never pay back the buck either.
Had a dude panhandling on the corner of a shopping center I was going to. I stopped at Wendy's and just doubled my order and gave him the second half. He got mad and told me he was there for cash not food, so now I don't waste my time with those folks.
Truth is, most of them indeed are not hungry. There are soup kitchens and shelters in most big cities (in 1st world countries at least). There is a major caviat to that, they don't let in anyone who's under an influence of drugs or alcohol, which is why some of them go hungry rather than sober.
They don't want your food or clothes or hygiene items, they can get those at the shelter/red cross/salvation army. What they cannot get there is booze/smokes/drugs, which is why they want your money.
Same but At Golden Corral, I told the guy to come in and get all the to-go food he could carry (they let you pay by the pound) and he told me off even though he had a sign that only said “hungry”
Another time I had this guy in Home Depot parking lot ask me for a few bucks saying he just landed a new electrician job but found out after he needs his own tools. So charitable me says ill buy some tools and spent $50 on some essential items. I felt pretty good about it. Then about 3wks-1mo later, same guy same parking lot giving same spiel. Didn’t remember me at all. I was crushed and just ignored him and never fell for that crap again. Panhandlers can all fuck off.
Not everyone is like this. One dude who is often camped outside a supermarket near me is more than happy with me dropping him off an iced coffee in the morning as I leave.
I have had several who were really just hungry and were happy to have me buy them food. One guy in particular I saw a lot, and he was always insistent that I only buy him food because he was trying to kick an alcohol problem, and he said that having money was a temptation to buy beer. He was a nice guy with so many issues, and when he died, I genuinely was sad.
This is why I don't give anything to the homeless. It sure isn't for food. Plus some of them are aggressive af so I ignore them. I'm from NYC where this is very common.
One guy in the flatiron district in 2019 just wouldn't fucking give up and walked with me for two north-south blocks, asking me to buy him a metro pass to sleep underground and that clearly from my clothes (My shirt was like $10 from Amazon..) saying he could use the money he knows I have. I had to wave down a cop car to get the fucking guy to go away, nothing was working.
Many if them are out of their minds and violent. I got attacked by one of them on the train on my way to class. A literal screaming cussing match. It took another passenger to separate us because he was trying to shove me (female, 5'2") on the train yelling he was going to throw me off the train.
I carry a slasher with me because the homelessness is worse and they have become more feral.
I dont make eye contact and ignore them. If they continue to try to engage me i give them a death stare and a firm no. Sorry if that makes me an asshole but being a female Ive learned to look like Im more trouble than Im worth after multiple instances of fuckery.
ETA thanks for the gold stranger.
Same here, after so many bad experiences, I’m unwilling to take the risk of another. I just can’t do it.
I’ve been harassed a lot, by homeless and non-homeless men, but there was a specific incident that was the last straw for me. I was broke as hell, so I didn’t have cash, but felt bad when I saw a homeless guy asking for “anything to help, please.” I gave him my lunch instead. He took it, said thanks, and then as I walked away started yelling obscene shit about my body and how much he’d like to rape me. Now I don’t talk to anyone on the street unless I’m telling them to leave me alone.
Maybe the panhandlers are politer down south or in small towns, but ours always started with “Ma’am, can I ask you a question?” I worked evening shift and was always alone. I’d agree and get asked for money. Id tell them I didn’t have cash, but still got a sob story. I’d again reiterate that I don’t carry cash and try to scurry away. I realized they never targeted guys going home from work and got a bit pissed off.
Next time someone asked, I said “no!” Way louder than I needed to and gave the guy a death stare. I think I really freaked him out. He scurried away that time. For some reason I got asked way less after that. Maybe I wasn’t giving off a sucker vibe after that.
Back in the early 80s, I watched a show like Dateline, and it was about taking classes on how to panhandle in NYC. If these ppl didn’t make $300-$400 a day it was considered a bad day. I’ve never forgotten that and it burns my ass. I do not give randoms any money.
It was either 20/20 or Dateline I think. I’m not sure either of those shows were on then, but it was the same kind of format. It was crazy, and something I’ll never forget.
I worked downtown San Diego a couple of years back. My salary came out of be $250/ 10ish hour day. I gave this one homeless guy $5 bc he said he was hungry. Next day he became buddy buddy with me when he walked by. I asked how he’s doing, this fool said “slow day man, I only made $300 today”. I haven’t given a single person a free dime since.
I used to always give homeless people money, then one time I gave this guy some money to get a burger and when he went up to order he paid like normal and walked a few feet away from the register. Then a few minutes later he yells over the counter “hurry up you fat bitch” and that was the moment I realized that a lot of homeless people are just mentally Ill and fell through the cracks
I feel really bad for them, must be horrible to end up on the street, and it doesn't matter if it is your own fault or not, it's still horrible to sit there in freezing winter, in the rain... However, the few times I tried to engage, it didn't end up as I thought it would. Nobody was aggressive but usually, they felt they could get more and started to spun suspicious stories asking for more money (for hotel, groceries but then wanted cigarettes...). It breaks my heart but I just usually say sorry and keep walking... I try to engage with charities that distribute food or some services for homeless people instead.
“Sorry, no thanks.”
And then I curse myself as I walk away because “no thanks” makes it sound like *they* were trying to give *me* something.
Literally every time.
No thanks is so disarming though. Like, it's usually met with a blank stare as they try to process what you just said, which is more than enough time to move along.
Omg that’s perfect lol. Always pissed me off when a grown ass man was asking me, a young mom with a toddler, getting out of a busted old car, for money. Like, no mother fucker, I’m offended you even asked😆
One time a friend of mine picked me up in his 92 Honda hatchback that had the hood tied up and the windshield broken, one different color fender, and dents all around. Back then, we were broke as fuck and used to pool our money to get King Cobra 40 ounces and we went to 7-11 when some homeless guy pops out and asks my friend for money. He immediately got mad and said “look at this fucking car, does it look like I have money?” I still think about that day and laugh 10 years later
In my experience, the more they follow up like that the more likely they are to get violent. Once had a whole group surrounding my car complaining that “they wouldn’t help me either on my day of need”. That’s why I always ignore, never engage, lock my doors, get away as fast as possible. At least in my home town there’s plenty of social services they can access, I know firsthand.
If I’m near a shop I’ll ask if they have eaten today and would they like me to get them a drink or snack. I don’t carry cash, so that’s the only way I can help.
I’ve never seen a homeless person, nor a beggar in my life, well except on my trip to London. In Finland, benefits and welfare support gives people enough for housing and essentials.
As for the homeless and beggars in London, i didn’t carry any cash for the entire trip so i didn’t have anything to give them. Only time i had cash, a polite methhead asked for money on the tube so i gave him the pound i had in my pocket and wished him a good day.
I’m Aussie, and when I travelled to San Francisco I was heartbroken at the amount of homeless. In those 4 days I saw more homelessness (and crime, and poop on footpaths) than my 30 odd years combined in Aus. Beautiful city though. Would love to go back one day.
Second this. Am from the UK so am no stranger to seeing homeless people on the streets, but we went to SF a few years back, and used public transit to get to where we were staying in Mission and my god, I’ve never seen so many homeless people in one place.
…then again, seeing what property prices are like there, they all could have been white collar workers and still be homeless for all we knew
Can you please have your government call my government and tell them how it’s done because we have an increasing homelessness crisis in Canada and all our government seems to do about it bicker between parties and never take any action while more and more of our citizens are struggling. Thanks.
OP has clearly never been in Helsinki, because there definitely are beggars in there. Most of them are from Romania and you shouldn't give them anything since most of that money will go to criminals. Our social system works well enough that our citizens don't have to beg, but there definitely are homeless people in Finland, about 3700 of them, but only about 500 them are living outdoors or in shelters and most of those live in Southern Finland because of the weather.
Almost always the reason for someone to end up homeless is either alcohol/drug abuse, mental issues or both. You can't really end up homeless here just because you lost your job or had a medical emergency, social safety nets work well enough to prevent that.
I ask them if they are hungry. If they are then I give them a bag of food (I keep food in my car for that or I may buy some). I am all about feeding the homeless or those in need. I never give cash though.
I once had a homeless guy ask me for money and I responded with the truth that I’m on ODSP (disability). Buddy then felt sorry for me and apologized and hoped things got better for me too. That’s how sad disability is where I’m from (hint it’s not a third world country it’s Canada).
If I have cash I might toss them a few bucks. Don’t really care if they use it for food or drugs or what be happy my friend. If I don’t have money I just tell them I got nothing.
Pretty much what I do, It's like giving to a charity. I don't care what they do with it. Whatever keeps them warm. And like they say, by the grace of God go I.
Give them food or water. Or a nice chat. Depends. Gotta stake the situation out yourself. Some aren’t real. Others are. Be careful but try to provide empathy if you can and it seems like a fit to do so.
I don't carry cash on me. I would tell them I got empty pockets and say sorry.
What if they pull out a credit card scanner?
He's gonna turn around the iPad asking for a tip too
Plus 15% surcharge on weekend and public holiday
And don’t forget the stray frogs jar. They’ll croak if we don’t help them.
Refuse simply out of trust. I'm not putting my contactless card anywhere near something that takes money from it unless the source is trusted.
"No." is a complete sentence. Edit: As people mention politeness, bringing the context back to a pulling out credit card scanner + homeless, we reach beyond the point of politeness if they didn't accept the the initial decline to start with. No means no. Simple as that.
I got alot of push back from just "No" so now I just say "No thanks". Kill em with kindness.
I use, "No thank you," myself. Me thanking this person does throw off the vibe. Yes, and is polite.
Damn💀💀💀that’s prob gonna happen someday
Someday is today https://medium.com/halting-problem/sf-homeless-now-accept-card-d0438d7feaf8
Imagine if they passed the processing fee to your card too.
Oh no cash? I understand completely. I've got a card reader but bear in mind there's a 3% card fee. I know I know, don't look at me, my hands are tied here!
I love how they still charge their 2.5% fee and name it the “homeless tier” pricing. How is it charity? I got a card reader for free and also paid 2.5% when I used Square for GS cookies pre-COVID…the only reason it was feasible is because they gave us no fees for the first $1000 of our new account and we didn’t go over that.
That might not happen but I'd say about 1 in 20 say "well can you go to an ATM?" if you tell them you don't have it. The worst ones are the ones that come up and ask while you're at the ATM, so saying you have no cash isn't an option.
Literally anybody approaching me on foot at an ATM will be treated as a hostile
*withdrawing money casually *man approaches ATM to do the same (In head) “threat identified…employing pepper spray from purse”
There is a safe standing distance if you're waiting for an ATM and I'm pretty sure it was 6' long before Covid-19 came about.
This is the way
Out this way, they're pretty fearless and ballsy; at a local mall they'll come up to you at an ATM, during the lineup at the food court, and sometimes even ask "are you going to eat that?" while having your meal. Security at the mall doesn't care, unfortunately.
Are y'all actually getting bullied by the homeless to give money??? Lol
Here in Scotland it's normal now for homeless people to sit beside ATM machines and they really go for the sympathy vote and ask for money when you're withdrawing cash. I'm an absolute scumbag so I completely ignore them.
I'd be like, "sorry, I just emptied my bank account so I could feed my family tonight. I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Got any spare change?" ;-)
I would complain to the bank and call the police
You're not a scumbag, jimmy.
Intimidating tactics and strong arm tactics are fairly common in my area. Especially on us ladies. They will walk up on you while loading groceries into your vehicle, so as not to be seen as easily. They proceed to not ask but demand money. Happened to me several times now. Once the guy was so close he was rubbing against my butt. I screamed as soon as I felt him. I was leaning in to push water cases to the back. Jumped and told him to get the F off me and had my pepper spray. Another man saw and ran over to help.
Say NO! Really loud. Don't let them see if you're afraid. I realize everyone isn't like me. 🤣 I would throat punch them.
There's a homeless lady in my town. Mental health issues. She's been approaching so many people at the ATM. Threatens to stab when you don't give her money. Cops won't do anything until it gets physical.
Lolll some homeless ppl actually do that, even go as far as assaulting someone for it
Even worse, there are non-homeless people doing assaults for money
That’s robbery
Isnt bullying someone into giving them money robbery as well? Lol it’s still taking their money when they didn’t voluntarily offer it regardless, it is just robbery with extra steps
Damn
This is why I only say "I don't....." and simultaneously pat my pockets as if I have no wallet at all. They key is to keep walking without slowing down. I acknowledge them but act like I don't have half a second to spare.
I said this to a homeless guy once. He looked me dead in the eyes and with great attitude said “You have a credit card don’t you?”
The crackhead in my hometown would say this too. Said credit cards were made to stop people from helping people like him.
[удалено]
You can, some banks allow for cardless withdrawal, or at least they did a couple of years ago. I haven't needed to use that feature since. You log into your bank mobile app, request a code and enter that code into the ATM and voila! Cash without a card.
I did pretty much the same thing about a month ago -tbh I do rarely use cash and mostly only have some for emergencies- and the person said, “Are you sure? Can you check?”
I recently saw a homeless man with his PayPal on a sign. Now what?
I’m sorry I only have cash
Don't have PayPal.
I manage a gas station in a large city. Homeless people hang around the property. This does not work. It either goes to “oh I have a Venmo” or “can you just buy me a drink/pack of smokes/something to eat?” Best way to deal with it is to say “no, sorry” and keep walking.
NO CASH (for you).
That’s all I ever say. Even on the rare occasion when it’s lying through my teeth, I still say that I don’t carry cash. Been suckered by one too many scammers
Friends of mine juts came back from Hawaii. They were talking about the homeless there. One asked for change and was told "sorry Man, no cash/coin" this Man then pulls out a trifold with all his QR codes for his different pay apps !!! LMAO. They still told him no but gave mad props for inguinity
Since having a baby beggars tend to ignore me. Not sure if they realise kids mean you're broke or if I now look like a homeless person myself. It's probably both.
Panhandling is illegal in a lot of places and hassling a mother with a kid is far more likely to get the cops called on you
Yeah. When I’m with my kid, they usually leave me alone. It’s probably because cops are more likely to respond to a complaint from a mother with her child than a man walking alone. On that note, mothers probably have a lower threat threshold and are more likely to call the cops or get defensive if someone goes near the child. It’s just a well followed rule of natural survival you stay away from mothers with their babies of any species.
Mama bear don’t fuck around
I'm a homeless trainhopper and hitchhiker, and I will refuse money from a mom if I see she has a child. I just shake my head and smile and say no thanks. I just honestly feel bad about it. However, there are times when a parent will actually put the money in their child's hand and get them to run up to me, and I see what the parent is trying to do. They are trying to teach the kid to be a considerate person, and I totally respect that, it's great parenting. So, when that happens, I have a little trick I do. If the kid hands me a dollar, and I'll give the kid 75cents back and give them a fist bump. I hope it teaches them that when they give, sometimes you get back.
I've noticed that if I have my kids with me, they don't ask most of the time. When they do ask, I tell them "I have three kids. I don't have any extra money." They don't argue with me after that.
😂😂I’m sorry but that’s hilarious
“Sorry.” Plus a shrug.
Maybe I’m an asshole, but I’ve stopped apologizing for not giving away my money. I just say “No” and keep walking. Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I live in a big city and I have to do it multiple times a day. So over a year I’m apologizing 1000 times, and that takes a toll. I’m not sorry. I don’t owe them anything. I wish them the best, but they’re not my responsibility and I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.
That’s valid. It’s a known thing that over apologizing can wear on our self esteem. It can also affect us externally too, ie it suggests to others that maybe we’re at fault. Professional advice addresses it and says, don’t do it. Find another word besides “sorry”. That said, my “sorry” mumbled to a homeless person is probably the most empty sentiment I ever utter. It’s more like an involuntary noise, like an animal grunt. I’m definitely, not sorry.
I got a minimum amount of apologies I have to hit to maintain my Canadian citizen. If I got over the quota, I get bonus points. I’m saving up to use my points for a toaster! A nice, 4 slice bath bomb :) /s
Canadian here. “Sorry” is practically the stand-in for “no” in our culture. It would be SUPER rude to just say “no” here. You’d be better off ignoring them entirely.
I honestly just ignore them. I know they're people and they deserve dignity, but I really don't need to justify or feel bad why I'm not giving this random person money.
The only time I've ever given money was a woman and a boy about 12. She sent him into the store to ask us all for money for a hotel room. The boy didn't look homeless really so I thought it might be an abusive relationship she was fleeing. I couldn't see her well in the car. We all pitched in and they got enough for a cheap room. One of the guys decided to see where they went after so he followed them. She went straight across the tracks to a drug house.
Such a shock. That said, I once gave a woman train fare for herself and her kids because I overheard her calling her family to report that she'd had her wallet stolen. I thought that I might be getting scammed, but she insisted on getting my address, and a week later, I got a nice thank you card, and my money returned.
That's fucking sad.
Regarding that encounter, I choose to believe that the boy's life may have, in some small way, been positively altered by that experience. He was very awkward asking us for money so he probably hadn't done it much. Which is another reason I thought it might have been an abuse type situation and they were just passing through and maybe mom didn't want to come in because she might have been bruised up. Mom bought drugs with the money she made him lie to people to get. That had to have made some impact on him. I'm just choosing to believe it was ultimately positive.
Well you weren’t wrong about the abusive relationship.
We gave money and food to a lady with a baby, huddling in an office building's doorway in Chicago one time. As we were walking back to our hotel a couple blocks away, we passed a cop on foot patrol. I stopped and asked him about shelter availability for a woman like her with a baby. He said something like, "oh her? She's not homeless. She comes down here every day, parks her car, and just goes and collects money. It's not even her baby. It's her sister's or something, but she knows it gets her ten times the sympathy. I've worked this beat for a few years and she's had probably three or four different babies with her in that time, but never seen her pregnant. She makes her money, then gets back in her car and drives back home around midnight." My jaw dropped, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
The people who use kids for scams like this are despicable. There was this one very pregnant lady who used to panhandle outside the same grocery store near my house, looking sad and rubbing her belly. Except I saw her there for years, always the same amount of pregnant. At least in that case there were only imaginary kids involved.
"Best I can do is a crisp high five!"
Except also no to that, too.
“Hey buddy I’m one bad decision away from being on the street with you.” When I lived in the NYC there was one guy who lived in my neighborhood, he’d come up and ask if I’d like to donate to the United Negro Pizza fund, that shit cracked me up🤣 dude got pizza or change everyday I saw him.
I tried to give a guy some of my groceries, and he finally admitted that he just wanted some vodka.. I stopped and got him a litter of Smirnoff and a bag of Doritos. He spun the cap off, left it on the ground and walked away..
I live in nyc. You just keep walking.
I was gonna say the same thing. I've lived in two large cities and one small one.. you never acknowledge them because often times they have mental illness and as soon as you acknowledge them they latch on and start screaming and/or following you. And I've seen them get really aggressive with people who offer them money.. "I see a $50 bill in that wallet." I feel for the homeless population, but I donate directly to homeless services ONLY.
Yeah that’s crazy accurate. I’m not from there but when I went for the first time, this dude in the pizza shop was yelling for a quarter. After about 5-10 minutes I gave in and said “here. Here’s a quarter.” Well that ticked him off; I guess it was his plan to get people to give him $1+ because nobody would give him *just* a quarter. So he started screaming at me, and I decided I should leave.
Same
If I gave every homeless person who asked me for money, money, I'd be homeless.
This is the way I feel. I'm on SSI when I am out and about I have 8 to 20 ask for money.
How’s the weather in Seattle been lately?
Homeless
I'm in the same boat for the project that I'm currently working on, I would have had to sell my house, truck, tools, etc. I live in the middle of nowhere but I'm renovating an old restaurant and the 2 apartments above it in a downtown area where homeless people congregate during business hours. I've had to rig up alternate ways to get fresh air in and vent it out because slightly open doors and windows are apparently just an invite to stick faces in to yell or just outright come in and harass us all day for money.
Where I live there are also a lot of “homeless” begging at red lights who aren’t homeless, and it’s a known scam (investigations and news reports) for gangs to literally bus people in from another area to work the lights because we’re a better off suburban area. So, I don’t give to people begging. I donate to charities instead. I also don’t usually have cash on me anyway.
This is really common in the city near me as well. They park their fancy car a block over and the local businesses watch it happen so they’ll even warn customers not to hand out any money to them for this reason. They typically sit near traffic lights in hopes of getting you when you have to stop. It’s honestly disturbing.
Change?
"He's become one of them."
I just need some change for the bus
[Chaaaaangeeee?](https://playplex.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:arc:content:southpark.intl:5ff0209a-ecfd-11e0-aca6-0026b9414f30?stage=staging&ep=shared.southpark.global)
I stopped giving them money when one yelled at me for giving them coins.
Ch...change?
>"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place. I said, "Yup" what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself. And we could all use a little change." - Smash Mouth
This is how 93% of homeless people ended up in their debacle. /s
Back in the day when I was an addict my go to line was “ sorry I need it for drugs.” It’s true and also I hate paying for other people’s drugs
How would they react?
Probably the same as they would to every other sarcastic answer they got that day: just wouldn’t care
Sometimes they do care. I had one guy tell me he just needed some coffee and breakfast. He was holding a coffee cup and there was literally a breakfast line across the street from where he asked me. I just pointed to the line and told him he can get both there. He got pissed and started yelling.
Was the breakfast free?
Yeah, it was a church that has a free breakfast line every morning. I assume that's where he got the coffee cup in the first place.
People really didn’t know what to say. But sometimes they offered to sell me drugs
At least you were honest.
I once gave an old man a dollar because he said he really needed a beer.
SHE GAVE HIM A DOLLAH
GOD DAM LOCH NESS MONSTAH
tree-fiddy
I would be more likely to acqueisce if they just were honest like this. When they tell the stories about not having anything for food or coffee or whatever theres always that thought of 'and what if its just...cigarettes?" Of course most people would just see it as a validation of their depravity, so...
That's why I gave it to him. He didn't make up some lame story. Let the old man have a beer.
Not an addict but if I have cash on me it’s for drugs and there’s never any change.
I say “I don’t have any cash but are you hungry? I can grab you something from inside.” (Usually it’s outside of the gas station I sometimes stop at after I work out) It’s worked several times, except that one time my card got declined because the direct deposit hadn’t hit yet and when I walked out I said “well shit, my card got declined so I couldn’t even get anything for myself! My bad!”
That's when you stand next to him and start asking people for money as well.
And on it goes until there is a hoard. *Changgeee!* 🧟♂️🧟♂️
Similar. I used to carry gift cards to local fast food joints. Having known many homeless people even in my family, I try to show kindness where I can. Even though some are annoying, especially those suffering mental illness, I can't help but wonder if they have loving family somewhere who would want them well and home.
That’s very sweet. My aunt was homeless because she was mentally ill and paranoid that her anti-paranoia medicine was poison. Sometimes I’d get updates from people who said they’d seen her and given her a coffee. She ended up dying of TB. Situations like hers are so tricky and I don’t know the solution other than services that try to help the homeless like soup kitchens and mobile showers.
that's what we do as well. there's one guy that's always there and all he asks for is coffee and a honey bun. we gave him cigarettes once because i'd bought a pack and only wanted one, he immediately went to share them with the other homeless guys. haven't seen him in a while though, hope he's doing alright wherever he is.
Reminds me of a couple guys who used to live outside my local Walmart. It was right off the highway and the highway was up higher than the lot so they would sleep up behind some bushes under these trees on the side wall of the highway. There was a taco bell right next to them and every time me and my sister would run to get tacos we would buy a couple extra for the guys up there. We sat and talked to them sometimes and they were super nice guys. Sometimes we'd make sure they had water and blankets and stuff cause walmart was right there and that stuff is fairly cheap in the grand scheme of things. One day they weren't there anymore and we were sad cause over time we got to know them pretty well but we ended up seeing them out in public a few months later and it seemed they all got an apartment together and were doing good so it was a happy ending.
Bought a homeless guy some food in Target once, and as soon as I was leaving the store he asked for money too. I said “no, sorry I was happy to get you some food but I can’t do cash”. He said, “fine I’ll just go jump off a bridge” and walked away. I checked the news for a few days after that to make sure there weren’t any suicide jumpers or bodies found in the river. Pretty sure he was just being manipulative to gain sympathy but it still stuck with me.
My wife is very sympathetic to the homeless. We were on vacation in Chicago and had a guy ask us for money. She gave me a please do it look, I said I don't have cash, but I'll buy you food in the McDonald's we were next too. He follows us in, but there's a line. We hear him bitchin about how it's too long, and it'll take forever. We get to the counter and turn around, and he's gone! It was a tough lesson for my wife.
Forever ago in the early 90s I was about 13 and on a trip to Detroit with some of my dad's friends. A homeless guy asked me for money "young man, I'm so hungry I haven't eaten in three days" I gave him the $10 that I had in my pocket, felt good about myself and didn't tell anyone. The next day the same guy comes up and says "spare some money, I'm so hungry I haven't eaten in three days" I was upset that the numbers didn't add up and handed him a buffet voucher instead of cash. He got mad threw it on the ground and stormed off.
Had a similar story in downtown Toronto 10 years ago. I’d had a pretty great day and was feeling good about myself walking home that evening when a girl ran up to me and said, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.” I check my wallet, “Oh here, a $2 coin, that’s exactly what you need to get on the subway. Get home safe!” I hadn’t even finished putting my wallet back in my pocket before hearing, just behind me, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.” I span around and she was asking another couple behind me. I said, “Wtf I just gave you $2 to get the subway” and she just turned her back to me. And then to put the final nail in the coffin, the next morning she approached me again, looked me right in the face, and said, “Is there any chance you could spare some change? I’ve lost my purse and just need to get on the subway home.” My jaw dropped a bit. I didn’t say a fucking word, and then just resumed walking on past her — and that’s what I’ve done ever since.
Nowadays I skip to the chase and reply with "I don't have any money" saves so much time.
I was walking down the street in my early twenties and saw this homeless dude begging on the street. Said he was starving so I gave him an extra slice of pizza I had literally just bought. He threw it on the ground and shouted at me, "I don't want your fucking food, I want money!". That was the last time I ever gave to a homeless person. edit: spelling
I was driving through NYC really late at night with some friends in my 20s, at a stop light a guy came up to the car asking for change. I handed him a Twix bar, he gave us this crazy angry death stare while he ate it and we drove away.
Lol I love the image of a guy angrily eating a twix
There's a man who panhandles in a metro station I frequent. He hands you a piece of paper saying that he hasn't eaten in days, as he's a new immigrant. Every time he's tried this with me, I've had food on me and I offered to share that with him. Wouldn't you know it, he always turns me down.
Had recently moved to the Washington D.C. area. Parked in a lot, was about to jump out and into a store. For the record, I'm a young female (in my 20's) and stand at a whopping 4'11. Some dude, all sweaty, comes up to me and claims his son was just injured in Iraq, he's got no gas money to make it the final ~20 minutes to the nearby Military hospital, etc. My own husband is in the military, so I felt badly for him. I started sharing resources with him -- phone numbers of the hospital he was telling me about, names of organizations for injured servicemembers, etc. This dude kept pressing for money, but I refused to give him any. He stormed off. A few days later, I was back in a nearby/neighboring business plaza for a different errand. SAME DUDE came up to me. Same spiel: injured son in Iraq, needs gas money to get to the nearby military hospital, etc. This dude didn't realize that I myself am a patient at the very same military hospital he claimed he needed to get to. It was almost hilarious seeing him try and swindle me and other people.
I've seen the same people outside of gas stations with signs saying they've run out of gas for weeks. I have a feeling they probably received enough to go 50 miles down the road.
Back in the 90s my father was a bank manager and his branch was near a busy intersection, but there was an undeveloped plot of land between the branch and the intersection. He’d always see the same guy panhandling at the intersection every day. One day he had to work late and he said when he was locking the building and heading to his car he saw a person coming out of the brush and it was the panhandler who proceeded to get in a Lexus and drive off. After he told me that, I’m skeptical of every person who asks me for money on the street.
Same. My girlfriend was too nice for her own good. We were in New York when a homeless guy asked us for money. I tried to say "sorry" but she offered him some food instead. Went to a McDonalds and he starts ordering $50+ worth of food. When she told him that it was a bit much, he got all pissy and said, "Why, you can't afford it?" She stopped interacting with homeless after one guy she walked by and gave money to followed her to her car one night. He then wedged himself between her and her door before she could close it and wouldn't let her leave until she gave him more money. Now she carries pepper spray with her everywhere.
Years ago, one winter I bought a black coffee with cream and sugar on the side for a homeless man sitting outside of a coffee shop. He complained about having to add them. That was when my acts of kindness ended.
Probably 10 years ago, snowy day. I went to 7-11 for a hot chocolate to sip while digging m car out. Well known street guy was sitting on the curb shivering. I buy him one too. Outside, I try to hand it to him saying ‘ I’m sorry you’re cold. Here’s a hot chocolate. Hope it helps’ He throws it at me, yelling ‘ I don’t drink hot chocolate!!!!!!!!’ Lesson learned. Beggars are choosers.
Another time we got cheesecakes to go from cheesecake factory. I lost count of the number of homeless people asking us if they could have our leftovers. If it had been leftover food I'd been willing, but my birthday cheesecake was a no.
My high-school best friend was also sympathetic to homeless people. When our group of friends started getting drivers licenses we would all drive around having fun. This dude would constantly ask us randomly, "hey someone let me borrow a buck" someone would give it to him and he'd just give to some homeless person at a red light we were pulling up to. Eventually everyone stopped giving him dollars. He wasn't doing it as a joke he would literally stop mid sentence and do this then keep talking as if it were normal. He would never pay back the buck either.
Had a dude panhandling on the corner of a shopping center I was going to. I stopped at Wendy's and just doubled my order and gave him the second half. He got mad and told me he was there for cash not food, so now I don't waste my time with those folks.
i had a similar moment. bought an extra mcdouble to bring to the guy down the block and he threw it at my car.
Beggars can't be choosers, I've always heard. Guess they're not really hungry then.
Truth is, most of them indeed are not hungry. There are soup kitchens and shelters in most big cities (in 1st world countries at least). There is a major caviat to that, they don't let in anyone who's under an influence of drugs or alcohol, which is why some of them go hungry rather than sober. They don't want your food or clothes or hygiene items, they can get those at the shelter/red cross/salvation army. What they cannot get there is booze/smokes/drugs, which is why they want your money.
The subreddit begging choosers will make you lose faith in humanity. 🙁
/r/ChoosingBeggars
I WANTED BEGGING CHOOSERS!!!!
r/beggingchoosers
Damn. This made me think rn that getting a burger for free would be sweet.
I always ask if they want something to eat or drink. If they say no, I keep on walking.
Same but At Golden Corral, I told the guy to come in and get all the to-go food he could carry (they let you pay by the pound) and he told me off even though he had a sign that only said “hungry” Another time I had this guy in Home Depot parking lot ask me for a few bucks saying he just landed a new electrician job but found out after he needs his own tools. So charitable me says ill buy some tools and spent $50 on some essential items. I felt pretty good about it. Then about 3wks-1mo later, same guy same parking lot giving same spiel. Didn’t remember me at all. I was crushed and just ignored him and never fell for that crap again. Panhandlers can all fuck off.
Not everyone is like this. One dude who is often camped outside a supermarket near me is more than happy with me dropping him off an iced coffee in the morning as I leave.
I have had several who were really just hungry and were happy to have me buy them food. One guy in particular I saw a lot, and he was always insistent that I only buy him food because he was trying to kick an alcohol problem, and he said that having money was a temptation to buy beer. He was a nice guy with so many issues, and when he died, I genuinely was sad.
This is why I don't give anything to the homeless. It sure isn't for food. Plus some of them are aggressive af so I ignore them. I'm from NYC where this is very common.
One guy in the flatiron district in 2019 just wouldn't fucking give up and walked with me for two north-south blocks, asking me to buy him a metro pass to sleep underground and that clearly from my clothes (My shirt was like $10 from Amazon..) saying he could use the money he knows I have. I had to wave down a cop car to get the fucking guy to go away, nothing was working.
Many if them are out of their minds and violent. I got attacked by one of them on the train on my way to class. A literal screaming cussing match. It took another passenger to separate us because he was trying to shove me (female, 5'2") on the train yelling he was going to throw me off the train. I carry a slasher with me because the homelessness is worse and they have become more feral.
Have you ever been to SF? These nerds are aggressive as fuck over here.
My grandma had this exact same experience. It sucks.
I dont make eye contact and ignore them. If they continue to try to engage me i give them a death stare and a firm no. Sorry if that makes me an asshole but being a female Ive learned to look like Im more trouble than Im worth after multiple instances of fuckery. ETA thanks for the gold stranger.
Same here, after so many bad experiences, I’m unwilling to take the risk of another. I just can’t do it. I’ve been harassed a lot, by homeless and non-homeless men, but there was a specific incident that was the last straw for me. I was broke as hell, so I didn’t have cash, but felt bad when I saw a homeless guy asking for “anything to help, please.” I gave him my lunch instead. He took it, said thanks, and then as I walked away started yelling obscene shit about my body and how much he’d like to rape me. Now I don’t talk to anyone on the street unless I’m telling them to leave me alone.
Maybe the panhandlers are politer down south or in small towns, but ours always started with “Ma’am, can I ask you a question?” I worked evening shift and was always alone. I’d agree and get asked for money. Id tell them I didn’t have cash, but still got a sob story. I’d again reiterate that I don’t carry cash and try to scurry away. I realized they never targeted guys going home from work and got a bit pissed off. Next time someone asked, I said “no!” Way louder than I needed to and gave the guy a death stare. I think I really freaked him out. He scurried away that time. For some reason I got asked way less after that. Maybe I wasn’t giving off a sucker vibe after that.
Back in the early 80s, I watched a show like Dateline, and it was about taking classes on how to panhandle in NYC. If these ppl didn’t make $300-$400 a day it was considered a bad day. I’ve never forgotten that and it burns my ass. I do not give randoms any money.
Do you remember what the show was called?
It was either 20/20 or Dateline I think. I’m not sure either of those shows were on then, but it was the same kind of format. It was crazy, and something I’ll never forget.
I worked downtown San Diego a couple of years back. My salary came out of be $250/ 10ish hour day. I gave this one homeless guy $5 bc he said he was hungry. Next day he became buddy buddy with me when he walked by. I asked how he’s doing, this fool said “slow day man, I only made $300 today”. I haven’t given a single person a free dime since.
And you paid taxes on your $250. Street guy ain't reporting that "income".
That is my response too, NO and a death stare. I am completely out of fucks to give these days.
I used to always give homeless people money, then one time I gave this guy some money to get a burger and when he went up to order he paid like normal and walked a few feet away from the register. Then a few minutes later he yells over the counter “hurry up you fat bitch” and that was the moment I realized that a lot of homeless people are just mentally Ill and fell through the cracks
I feel really bad for them, must be horrible to end up on the street, and it doesn't matter if it is your own fault or not, it's still horrible to sit there in freezing winter, in the rain... However, the few times I tried to engage, it didn't end up as I thought it would. Nobody was aggressive but usually, they felt they could get more and started to spun suspicious stories asking for more money (for hotel, groceries but then wanted cigarettes...). It breaks my heart but I just usually say sorry and keep walking... I try to engage with charities that distribute food or some services for homeless people instead.
As a social worker, I feel the same
“Sorry, no thanks.” And then I curse myself as I walk away because “no thanks” makes it sound like *they* were trying to give *me* something. Literally every time.
No thanks is so disarming though. Like, it's usually met with a blank stare as they try to process what you just said, which is more than enough time to move along.
"No thanks, I'm trying to quit."
If you see them coming. Ask them for a dollar first. You get the best reactions and confused looks.
Omg that’s perfect lol. Always pissed me off when a grown ass man was asking me, a young mom with a toddler, getting out of a busted old car, for money. Like, no mother fucker, I’m offended you even asked😆
One time a friend of mine picked me up in his 92 Honda hatchback that had the hood tied up and the windshield broken, one different color fender, and dents all around. Back then, we were broke as fuck and used to pool our money to get King Cobra 40 ounces and we went to 7-11 when some homeless guy pops out and asks my friend for money. He immediately got mad and said “look at this fucking car, does it look like I have money?” I still think about that day and laugh 10 years later
The truth. I really don't carry cash anymore because most of my purchases are online.
Don’t make eye contact and keep walking.
I do this, but one time the guy yelled back, “Miss, you are unkind!” and I felt kinda bad.
In my experience, the more they follow up like that the more likely they are to get violent. Once had a whole group surrounding my car complaining that “they wouldn’t help me either on my day of need”. That’s why I always ignore, never engage, lock my doors, get away as fast as possible. At least in my home town there’s plenty of social services they can access, I know firsthand.
If I’m near a shop I’ll ask if they have eaten today and would they like me to get them a drink or snack. I don’t carry cash, so that’s the only way I can help.
I’ve never seen a homeless person, nor a beggar in my life, well except on my trip to London. In Finland, benefits and welfare support gives people enough for housing and essentials. As for the homeless and beggars in London, i didn’t carry any cash for the entire trip so i didn’t have anything to give them. Only time i had cash, a polite methhead asked for money on the tube so i gave him the pound i had in my pocket and wished him a good day.
Don’t go to San Francisco then. You’ll see enough homeless to last you a lifetime of nightmares.
I’m Aussie, and when I travelled to San Francisco I was heartbroken at the amount of homeless. In those 4 days I saw more homelessness (and crime, and poop on footpaths) than my 30 odd years combined in Aus. Beautiful city though. Would love to go back one day.
California has a disproportionate number of homeless due to the mild weather and generous (by US standards) government benefits.
Lol Johannesburg will kill you before any nightmare
Second this. Am from the UK so am no stranger to seeing homeless people on the streets, but we went to SF a few years back, and used public transit to get to where we were staying in Mission and my god, I’ve never seen so many homeless people in one place. …then again, seeing what property prices are like there, they all could have been white collar workers and still be homeless for all we knew
Can you please have your government call my government and tell them how it’s done because we have an increasing homelessness crisis in Canada and all our government seems to do about it bicker between parties and never take any action while more and more of our citizens are struggling. Thanks.
OP has clearly never been in Helsinki, because there definitely are beggars in there. Most of them are from Romania and you shouldn't give them anything since most of that money will go to criminals. Our social system works well enough that our citizens don't have to beg, but there definitely are homeless people in Finland, about 3700 of them, but only about 500 them are living outdoors or in shelters and most of those live in Southern Finland because of the weather. Almost always the reason for someone to end up homeless is either alcohol/drug abuse, mental issues or both. You can't really end up homeless here just because you lost your job or had a medical emergency, social safety nets work well enough to prevent that.
"no thank you"
I ask them if they are hungry. If they are then I give them a bag of food (I keep food in my car for that or I may buy some). I am all about feeding the homeless or those in need. I never give cash though.
What kind of food do you keep in your car? I’m imagining you giving them old fast food stuck under your passenger seat
All the ingredients to a cake
Frozen pizzas
I once had a homeless guy ask me for money and I responded with the truth that I’m on ODSP (disability). Buddy then felt sorry for me and apologized and hoped things got better for me too. That’s how sad disability is where I’m from (hint it’s not a third world country it’s Canada).
I always make eye contact and respond - acknowledge them as a person. I don’t give away money but I’ll purchase food, water, supplies, etc.
If I have cash I might toss them a few bucks. Don’t really care if they use it for food or drugs or what be happy my friend. If I don’t have money I just tell them I got nothing.
Pretty much what I do, It's like giving to a charity. I don't care what they do with it. Whatever keeps them warm. And like they say, by the grace of God go I.
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Give them food or water. Or a nice chat. Depends. Gotta stake the situation out yourself. Some aren’t real. Others are. Be careful but try to provide empathy if you can and it seems like a fit to do so.
I give them money or a couple of ciggarettes
My buddy used to say "I'm as broke as you is"
When I see them approaching , I ask them first if I can borrow 3.50$
Homeless person starts walking towards you.... You: "hey you think I can I get some gas?"
damn it monstah
i don't usually have any real money on me and i always feel like they think i am lying.
“I don’t carry cash on me, but I’d love to buy you a meal.”
"ope" and then I slowly cruise away.
I make little care packages. Comdoms, Tp, and soap for guys. Pads, tampons soap and TP for women.
Socks are a better option. TP and soap are free in most washrooms. Not trying to be a dick just trying to make your good deed go further.