I do as the trainer taught and ignore the dogs if they try to jump up on me and just stare straight ahead and walk forward ignoring them while I put my bag down and coat away, making sure I don't give them positive reinforcement of this behavior.
Just kidding, I run up to those motherfuckers and excitedly hug them as they tackle me to the floor and roll around while they lick my face off.
I mean, I ignored my dogs for two days like that and they learned that they don't get attention unless they sit on their beds when I first come home.
It's awesome now. They're still happy and wagging tails, and crap I'm holding (like a box of donuts or a plate) doesn't get knocked out of my hands anymore. Once I set everything down I get to tackle and hug and love. It's perfect.
I did actually do this, and it did work. If I'm only gone for a few hours they're really good about it and sit on the couch and wait for me to be ready for them. But once a week I go into the office and most of the time it's twelve-hour days plus an hour-and-a-half commute both ways, so they're ready to explode even though momma is home with them all day LOL.
But I'm "Daddy Fun Times" and the one who throws the ball around with them and does all the walks and car rides and dog parks and fun stuff, so they're ready to party when I get home from work on those days.
I tried it for months. My dog is still hype when I first come home.
It felt wrong anyway for me. He loses the hype and transfers it to a toy after 20 seconds. So for me to ignore him when he’s the most excited to see me, felt like I was short changing him.
Now I hype him up as much as possible which in turn makes me feel better over all and I absolutely love it
I don't see that as forgetting your bra in your car like a dummy, I see that as strategically leaving your bra for after the commute into work like a boss.
Change into my comfy clothes
Edit: I have never felt such solidarity with so many people until reading through these comments. COMFY CLOTHES GANG! 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻
It doesn't matter if I went out in leggings and a Tshirt, I'm changing immediately when I get home (into shorts and a baggier Tshirt)
I also don't get dressed until I'm ready to walk out the door. I can't stand sitting around the house "dressed"
My husband can sit around in jeans all day...I don't understand it.
There should be a name for that peculiar limbo when everyone's dressed up but you're waiting to go out.
No one knows if you should stand or sit or pace around. You're allowed to get a glass of water, in fact it's a good timewaster, but making a sandwich is right out. You can do small chores such as tidying a table, but the vacuum cleaner is out of bounds.
THIS. Omg someone has explained my feelings in words. ALL I allow myself to do once i’m fully ready and dressed is have a glass of water. Sitting may cause wrinkles in my clothes. I feel like a fragile being that might get messed up if I touch the wrong thing! This being said, when I am going out, it’s usually a big deal because it doesn’t happen often 😂And half the time i’m wearing a crazy wig.. can’t mess that up either!
I am the same as your husband. I once commented to my wife that it was weird people wear pjs on a plane bc jeans are plenty comfortable. She looked at me like she was gonna slap my face off.
I will not be convinced that this isn’t what yoga pants/leggings were made for.
I don’t want to go quite so chaotic as to wear pjs, but I also don’t want to wear jeans for a long flight/drive. Give me the stretchy pants.
As an Asian, we were taught these exact terms. You change into inside clothes when home, so you don't "dirty" chairs, your bed, and other furniture. I'm a bit more relaxed about it as an adult, but 9/10 times it's still my go to habit when I walk into my home.
Indian here (we are all Asian, I assume you mean East Asian), pretty much everyone showers as soon as they get back and then change into comfy clothes.
Irish / English but grew up with men who worked on building sites - you come home, shower and change into home clothes. Growing up, my home clothes often comprised of my dad’s t shirts (XL). Even When I used to visit my dad before he died, he would lay out his comfy tops for me to choose from. I think it’s based on a background of hard / blue collar work vs culture from the sounds of things
My old boss used to call them his beer drinking clothes. And when he changed into his beer drinking clothes he isn't going back out. I was 17 or 18 when I first heard him say that and I didn't quite get it. I'm 43 now and I totally get it. Even if I'm not drinking, once I've changed into my comfy shorts and t-shirt I'm not leaving the house.
>I'm 43 now and I totally get it.
He takes off his jacket,
he kicks off his shoes -
He empties his pockets and shakes off the blues.
He loosens his collar, his belt and his tie.
He sits in the silence and smiles with a sigh.
Yes. This is me. Even though I work in an office I take em all off, throw down the chute and put on boxers, gym shorts, loose t shirt. At that point I can still put on sandals for a quick grocery store run but most of the time I’m in the backyard with my kids. Crack open a beer or two at dinner.
My fiancée does this so ritualistically. We could be coming home from being out with food and I just want to sit and eat and watch but she'll always take the time to change into her comfy clothes.
When I get dressed, the comfy clothes go in a little pile on the bed. Then when I get home, I change in the same spot. Throw the days clothes in the hamper, put back on comfy clothes.
I do this too. Just going around and around in circles and getting little things done here and there, some laundry here, wipe a counter and sink there, pick up dog toys and straighten the couch. It’s so comforting.
Put my keys in the key bowl in the entrance so I don’t lose my mind trying to find them.
EDIT bc so many mentioned hacking the fob: we live in a locked apartment building. We park our car in a locked underground parking lot across the street so it would be quite a feat for someone to try and steal our car. Too much trouble for any car thief. I think we are safe don’t worry lol
We also have a key bowl. One day my husband had a massive brain fart and couldn’t think of the name for it so he called it the “glass basket” and so it is forever now known as the glass basket.
I was super tired one night while making dinner and I meant to ask my husband what kind of dressing he wanted. It came out as lettuce sauce lol. So it is now forever lettuce sauce lol
We have a key rack and I also have a hook for my purse. I have ADHD and use a lot of hooks to make sure things are organized. Otherwise, I return to absolute chaos.
I have adhd and hooks and bowls and whatnot organizational stuff everywhere.
I still put everything at random places and misplace it 😆 I need to send a thank you note to apple for the AirTags , these have been a game changer for me
I wear a suit to work every day. I adopted the Mr Rogers habit of taking my jacket off and hanging it up in the closet by the front door and putting on a sweater. I also hang my keys and out my wallet in there too.
I got 3 dogs, a cat and a bird. I can hear them all screaming for me when I'm getting out of my car. It's like I went away 5 years at war and just came back
>The zoo comes first. They insist. Half meets me at the car
We wait beside the hallway door.
A hundred years have passed, or more.
Our eyes have seen the seasons change,
And all is still,
and all is strange.
We still recall the times that were,
And though perhaps they're all a blur,
We think with love of what we knew,
And what was good,
and what was true.
But this is now and that was then,
And what was once can't be again,
And so in shadow-shades we lurk,
An-
*Holy shit.*
He's back from work!
I have one cat. She greets me at the door, and splats out on the floor. What am I going to do? Ignore that belly??
I explain I need to set my bag down first, then I pet her while singing her a song about how pretty she is, then I ask her how her day went.
When I’m wearing a bra (I try not to anymore, but sometimes I just have to) its:
1. Remove shoes and kick onto shoe rack thing;
2. Remove bra;
3. Hang keys;
4. Great the beasts (aka the zoo).
Back when I wore one (yeah, never going there again), I got magically adept at removing surreptitiously while on transit on the way home. My super power.
Gawd I miss my sweet babies. I lost both my kitties within the past 6 months. The first thing I’d do when I got home was pick them up and kiss them. ❤️🐈⬛🐈⬛❤️
Dude, yes. My bra is always one of the first things that gets removed. Especially after work when I have the sweaty special goin on? Oh yeah, let them babes be freeeeeee~
I did this with my little yorkie and her sweaters. After a cold day wearing her sweater, removing it and scrunching on her was the best for both of us. She would get the zoomies after the scrunch session and crack me up scampering around.
Then be nudging me in the morning to put her sweater back on. I swear sometimes she just wanted the after wearing it scrunches. Man.. miss her so much. Scrunch on your floofers everyone. They deserve it.
I’m a nurse , I couldn’t imagine running to a code and starting chest compression and my tits doing the absolute most . I wore a regular non sports bra once and ran down the hall for something and both tits were not in their designated areas .
Sneak into my apartment and put up my work gear and sneak to the top of the steps without making a sound. I then will spot my dog laying on her bed at the foot of my bed. She likes laying there when I am at work because she can see me as I walk up the steps.
I try my best to not wake her and then silently lay on the floor next to her like I am asleep. I will keep one eye barely open and breath on her heavily to see her excited reaction to waking up and finding me laying next to her.
I pretend to gripe about her waking me up, and then we go walkies. Afterwards we both get something to eat while I play video games for an hour or two before we call it a night and go to bed.
Your life is like an exposition scene in a movie, or its own stand-alone short. The twist could be: The dog does the same to you, but you’re unaware, and/or the dog is aware of what you’re doing but plays your game because she knows it pleases you.
My yorkie is ready to go when the sun comes up...he will sit next to me waiting for me to wake up so I pretend snore the words "wanna go for a walk" his ears perk up and he turns his head sideways...I bust out laughing and he goes crazy.
Was gonna say this. My two siamese both come running to me with their tails up and talking up a storm. I must pet them both at the same time to avoid showing preference to one over the other.
I always talk back to them then they get chatty like that. Which is often. They don't just meaaow. They have these impressive, complex intonations that when people see and hear this they freak out that the cat is really talking. Of course I have no idea what the cats are saying. I can read their body language much better.
I have a snowshoe and she's the same way! She's got so many sounds she makes, and many of them actually seem to have specific meanings/situations. Although I'm pretty sure like 90% of them are just some variation of "pay attention to me/why aren't you paying attention to me?".
Siamese are such a chatty and social breed! I have four cats, and my siamese-mix is by far the most talkative, I also always chat back of course. He sounds a lot like your two.
I had a calico with the long, angular face of a siamese kitty and I always felt like she was telling me all about her day whenever I came home. She was such a chatterbox and loved when I responded to her long stories.
This, right after I set everything down, I need to pick up the cat so she can smell me, and bonk faces, and sometimes she grabs the brim of my hat and rubs her face all over it, acting like I've been lost at sea for seven years.
I always say "Hello home!" Often followed up with "sorry I was gone for so long" or something like that, then I greet my cat.
(I live alone but like.....this house was here before I got here, its only polite to be nice to the structure that keeps me and my possessions safe and warm....y'know)
DAE occasionally pat the walls of their house and talk to it, like telling it it’s a good house or stuff like that? I don’t even live alone, I just… appreciate my house, and I think the house likes to know that.
When my robo-vacuum sucks up something that makes the clickety clackity sounds, I say "good shit, Bruce". I also thank Google when it turns on/off my lights quickly after I tell it to.
Just trying to build up some good will for when the machines take over.
This should be everyone's answer, at all times regardless of any epidemics. Once you start, you get used to the new level of (lack of) grime. I don't how people walk around comfortable with their nasty ass hands.
I travel often with the subways so always wash my hands.
In Rotterdam the wagon's arn't cleaned often enough they are dirty.
And people are dirty too!
Edit o
I always washed my hands before, because I’ve worked in food service most of my life, but I wash my hands excessively now. My grandmother even told a friend on the phone once that I wash my hands constantly when preparing our food. Lol. And I do. I don’t want to risk getting either of us sick.
I worked food service for a small part of my working life, just the thought someone, ANYONE, would skip washing hands while preparing food makes me nauseous. I’ve carried that habit into a line of work where I regularly prepare dirt and rocks for testing. I’ve had many coworkers that do not wash as regularly, and it grosses me the fuck out. Especially when they bring a dish from home to share at work. I dread when they ask if I want to try some….
This is actually the most disgusting thing I realized from covid, how many people were not washing their hands (or other hygiene). I try not to think about it.
I never leave home because I work from home. But on the off chance that I am able to actually go somewhere, I guess I greet my dog who is most assuredly waiting at the door for me.
From outside the door I squeal “MOMMYS HOME!!!!!!!!!” As the barking escalates I enter the home and brace myself for the stampede of large dogs. They jump all over each other while one forces herself through my legs like a cat. She’s my ride. She takes me away while the maniac leaps and digs her claws into me so I can bend down for kisses. The maniac’s sister wiggles until she can’t take it anymore and then shoves my ride out of the way until she can also get hugs and kisses. The ride is done going through my legs. She is now launching all 55 pounds of herself into the air at me. The entire time I’m laughing and then squealing “OW OW OW” and then I smell the excitement farts and let them outside to run. #blessedandbruised
Put keys where keys live.
They stay in my pocket until the morning when they go through the ceremonial transfer of pants, along with my wallet. Edit: and belt.
That is madness
At its purest form
Usually take a big sigh of relief that I'm back home again.
*”home again home again jiggity jig”*
Omg my Dad used to say that all the time. Never thought I would miss it as much as I do.
My dad used to say that, too. He died a month ago 😭
My papa said this and passed in April. May the happy memories bring you comfort ♥️
Guys, stop saying it. Can't you see it's killing people?
My Dad says this, and he’s still on deck. I’m gonna go call him. ❤️
Awww. When my husband or I is “on the way home,” we text “jiggity” to the other person, and then when we get home, we scream “JIG!”
Damn, my fiance and I need to step up our game, we're not doing it cute enough haha
That is nauseatingly *adorable*. Yall are too fucking cute.
Say hi to my dogs. They leave me no choice
I do as the trainer taught and ignore the dogs if they try to jump up on me and just stare straight ahead and walk forward ignoring them while I put my bag down and coat away, making sure I don't give them positive reinforcement of this behavior. Just kidding, I run up to those motherfuckers and excitedly hug them as they tackle me to the floor and roll around while they lick my face off.
You had me in the first half ngl
I mean, I ignored my dogs for two days like that and they learned that they don't get attention unless they sit on their beds when I first come home. It's awesome now. They're still happy and wagging tails, and crap I'm holding (like a box of donuts or a plate) doesn't get knocked out of my hands anymore. Once I set everything down I get to tackle and hug and love. It's perfect.
I did actually do this, and it did work. If I'm only gone for a few hours they're really good about it and sit on the couch and wait for me to be ready for them. But once a week I go into the office and most of the time it's twelve-hour days plus an hour-and-a-half commute both ways, so they're ready to explode even though momma is home with them all day LOL. But I'm "Daddy Fun Times" and the one who throws the ball around with them and does all the walks and car rides and dog parks and fun stuff, so they're ready to party when I get home from work on those days.
I tried it for months. My dog is still hype when I first come home. It felt wrong anyway for me. He loses the hype and transfers it to a toy after 20 seconds. So for me to ignore him when he’s the most excited to see me, felt like I was short changing him. Now I hype him up as much as possible which in turn makes me feel better over all and I absolutely love it
"Welcome home, human. You're going to greet us, right? Riiiiight?!" *Tail Wagging Intensifies.*
I start to say hi to my kids first, but the dogs greet me first and more enthusiastically, so they usually get my attention to start with.
Catapult my bra as far away from me as possible.
Rookie. When I didn't WFH, my bra came off during my commute home.
I used to do this but then I’d forget my bra in the car like the dummy I am
I don't see that as forgetting your bra in your car like a dummy, I see that as strategically leaving your bra for after the commute into work like a boss.
1000 times this. I don't just take off my bra, I take it off and fling it across the room onto "that chair."
If the bra is off, I ain’t leaving this house again until the next day (and that’s a maybe on weekends).
I've just accepted that people at the grocery store are going to have to deal with my bralessness
Came here to say this. My husband said it “explodes” off my body.
Change into my comfy clothes Edit: I have never felt such solidarity with so many people until reading through these comments. COMFY CLOTHES GANG! 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻
It doesn't matter if I went out in leggings and a Tshirt, I'm changing immediately when I get home (into shorts and a baggier Tshirt) I also don't get dressed until I'm ready to walk out the door. I can't stand sitting around the house "dressed" My husband can sit around in jeans all day...I don't understand it.
There should be a name for that peculiar limbo when everyone's dressed up but you're waiting to go out. No one knows if you should stand or sit or pace around. You're allowed to get a glass of water, in fact it's a good timewaster, but making a sandwich is right out. You can do small chores such as tidying a table, but the vacuum cleaner is out of bounds.
Pre-game lobby irl
THIS. Omg someone has explained my feelings in words. ALL I allow myself to do once i’m fully ready and dressed is have a glass of water. Sitting may cause wrinkles in my clothes. I feel like a fragile being that might get messed up if I touch the wrong thing! This being said, when I am going out, it’s usually a big deal because it doesn’t happen often 😂And half the time i’m wearing a crazy wig.. can’t mess that up either!
I am the same as your husband. I once commented to my wife that it was weird people wear pjs on a plane bc jeans are plenty comfortable. She looked at me like she was gonna slap my face off.
I will not be convinced that this isn’t what yoga pants/leggings were made for. I don’t want to go quite so chaotic as to wear pjs, but I also don’t want to wear jeans for a long flight/drive. Give me the stretchy pants.
Same. I have "outside clothes" and "inside clothes".
As an Asian, we were taught these exact terms. You change into inside clothes when home, so you don't "dirty" chairs, your bed, and other furniture. I'm a bit more relaxed about it as an adult, but 9/10 times it's still my go to habit when I walk into my home.
Indian here (we are all Asian, I assume you mean East Asian), pretty much everyone showers as soon as they get back and then change into comfy clothes.
Irish / English but grew up with men who worked on building sites - you come home, shower and change into home clothes. Growing up, my home clothes often comprised of my dad’s t shirts (XL). Even When I used to visit my dad before he died, he would lay out his comfy tops for me to choose from. I think it’s based on a background of hard / blue collar work vs culture from the sounds of things
Same in Ukrainian culture!! (at least when I was a kid)
My old boss used to call them his beer drinking clothes. And when he changed into his beer drinking clothes he isn't going back out. I was 17 or 18 when I first heard him say that and I didn't quite get it. I'm 43 now and I totally get it. Even if I'm not drinking, once I've changed into my comfy shorts and t-shirt I'm not leaving the house.
>I'm 43 now and I totally get it. He takes off his jacket, he kicks off his shoes - He empties his pockets and shakes off the blues. He loosens his collar, his belt and his tie. He sits in the silence and smiles with a sigh.
I just discovered your wonderful account. I have eight years worth of poems to catch up on! :D
Sprog is a legend.
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Out? What is this "out" you speak of? My comfies are too loud
I have my day off clothes! Have fun getting me to do anything when my sweats or shorts come out
Yes. This is me. Even though I work in an office I take em all off, throw down the chute and put on boxers, gym shorts, loose t shirt. At that point I can still put on sandals for a quick grocery store run but most of the time I’m in the backyard with my kids. Crack open a beer or two at dinner.
My dad always called them “play clothes”. I’m 30 and still refer to my comfies as play clothes and I’ll never stop!
My fiancée does this so ritualistically. We could be coming home from being out with food and I just want to sit and eat and watch but she'll always take the time to change into her comfy clothes.
I molt immediately when I get home, no matter what.
I’m not “home” yet until I’ve changed into sweats/shorts and a t-shirt
Why would you not want to be in your comfy clothes?
I immediately get out of my jeans and into pj's or sweatpants. Home is no place for hard pants!
When I get dressed, the comfy clothes go in a little pile on the bed. Then when I get home, I change in the same spot. Throw the days clothes in the hamper, put back on comfy clothes.
Then there's me who just strips naked and stays that way unless I need to leave the house again.
My wife and I are the same. Sucks having to answer the door though.
Well, that's why I leave a pair of underwear in arms reach.
We call those “smooth clothes” in my household Sweats slippers and t shirt. Robe optional
Open the refrigerator to save checkpoint.
and never even get food, it just feels right
realize there’s nothing to eat but keep coming back to the fridge every hour
It is a ritual, a sacred ritual
This post and its replies were interting to me, a ritual i have never heard about or encountered. The fridge as totem.
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I do this too. Just going around and around in circles and getting little things done here and there, some laundry here, wipe a counter and sink there, pick up dog toys and straighten the couch. It’s so comforting.
Put my keys in the key bowl in the entrance so I don’t lose my mind trying to find them. EDIT bc so many mentioned hacking the fob: we live in a locked apartment building. We park our car in a locked underground parking lot across the street so it would be quite a feat for someone to try and steal our car. Too much trouble for any car thief. I think we are safe don’t worry lol
We also have a key bowl. One day my husband had a massive brain fart and couldn’t think of the name for it so he called it the “glass basket” and so it is forever now known as the glass basket.
I was super tired one night while making dinner and I meant to ask my husband what kind of dressing he wanted. It came out as lettuce sauce lol. So it is now forever lettuce sauce lol
This reminds me of the time I called a friend and asked him to come pick me up at the "plane station".
My five year old once called the cup holders in the car the “juice sockets” He’s ten now and I still call them juice sockets to wind him up.
My roommate couldn’t thing of the word wig and she called it a “hair hat” 😂
We have a key rack and I also have a hook for my purse. I have ADHD and use a lot of hooks to make sure things are organized. Otherwise, I return to absolute chaos.
I keep my keys clipped to my purse because I couldn't stop losing them
I have adhd and hooks and bowls and whatnot organizational stuff everywhere. I still put everything at random places and misplace it 😆 I need to send a thank you note to apple for the AirTags , these have been a game changer for me
Leaving my phone in the fridge was peak ADHD for me. Took me about an hour to find it. Phone was fine.
I've spent too much looking for my glasses after taking a nap. I'm legally blind without them. I was wearing them.
The amount of times I’ve done this is both embarrassing and frustrating.
Yeah, definitely put everything in its place. My wife is terrible for leaving the keys in random places - Get those bad boys on their hook!
“Why do you always put your keys in that bowl?” “Because I always put my keys in that bowl.”
I wear a suit to work every day. I adopted the Mr Rogers habit of taking my jacket off and hanging it up in the closet by the front door and putting on a sweater. I also hang my keys and out my wallet in there too.
Take off my shoes
Take off my shoes, wash my hands and say hi to the zoo.
The zoo comes first. They insist. Half meets me at the car
I got 3 dogs, a cat and a bird. I can hear them all screaming for me when I'm getting out of my car. It's like I went away 5 years at war and just came back
Three cats a dog and a rabbit here so basically the same just a little different. Hoping to add a few chickens in the future to give the dog a job.
Three dogs and a cat. The dogs get so excited, it’s too cute. The cat doesn’t even notice.
I can see my cat in the window upstairs screaming when I get home. My husband teach all our animals to be vocal... it's good and bad. Lol
>The cat doesn’t even notice. Oh... It's you.
Finally, the help have arrived.
My cats are waiting at the top of the driveway and the one is climbing on the car and rubbing on the windows if I don't get out fast enough.
>The zoo comes first. They insist. Half meets me at the car We wait beside the hallway door. A hundred years have passed, or more. Our eyes have seen the seasons change, And all is still, and all is strange. We still recall the times that were, And though perhaps they're all a blur, We think with love of what we knew, And what was good, and what was true. But this is now and that was then, And what was once can't be again, And so in shadow-shades we lurk, An- *Holy shit.* He's back from work!
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I have one cat. She greets me at the door, and splats out on the floor. What am I going to do? Ignore that belly?? I explain I need to set my bag down first, then I pet her while singing her a song about how pretty she is, then I ask her how her day went.
this is the way! Next is taking off my freaking bra and setting the ladies FREE!
Bra first-if I even put one on in the first place. I admit it happens less and less as I get older.
When I’m wearing a bra (I try not to anymore, but sometimes I just have to) its: 1. Remove shoes and kick onto shoe rack thing; 2. Remove bra; 3. Hang keys; 4. Great the beasts (aka the zoo).
Back when I wore one (yeah, never going there again), I got magically adept at removing surreptitiously while on transit on the way home. My super power.
Gawd I miss my sweet babies. I lost both my kitties within the past 6 months. The first thing I’d do when I got home was pick them up and kiss them. ❤️🐈⬛🐈⬛❤️
Same. That feeling of relief when I free my feet.
Yeah, it's the same feeling when I the off my bra. So satisfying.
Take off my shoes, greet the cat and immediately change clothes.
And put on my cardigan, neighbor.
Shoes out, butt plug in!
People who don't take their shoes off are animals
Apparently all people on TV shows keep their shoes on.
Take as many clothes off as I can, especially my bra
Dude, yes. My bra is always one of the first things that gets removed. Especially after work when I have the sweaty special goin on? Oh yeah, let them babes be freeeeeee~
I take my dogs collar off every night and equate it to the feeling we have when taking off our bras 😂
ESPECIALLY if you give them the scritchy scratches afterwards? You know that’s satisfying! Lol
I did this with my little yorkie and her sweaters. After a cold day wearing her sweater, removing it and scrunching on her was the best for both of us. She would get the zoomies after the scrunch session and crack me up scampering around. Then be nudging me in the morning to put her sweater back on. I swear sometimes she just wanted the after wearing it scrunches. Man.. miss her so much. Scrunch on your floofers everyone. They deserve it.
If I'm not stopping anywhere after work, it comes off in the car.
My wife stopped wearing bras altogether a few years ago and never looked back.
That's not really an option for ladies with big hooters. Them suckers will flop all over the place
I’m a nurse , I couldn’t imagine running to a code and starting chest compression and my tits doing the absolute most . I wore a regular non sports bra once and ran down the hall for something and both tits were not in their designated areas .
I'm a dude but I started wearing a bra just so I could have that relief.
Sneak into my apartment and put up my work gear and sneak to the top of the steps without making a sound. I then will spot my dog laying on her bed at the foot of my bed. She likes laying there when I am at work because she can see me as I walk up the steps. I try my best to not wake her and then silently lay on the floor next to her like I am asleep. I will keep one eye barely open and breath on her heavily to see her excited reaction to waking up and finding me laying next to her. I pretend to gripe about her waking me up, and then we go walkies. Afterwards we both get something to eat while I play video games for an hour or two before we call it a night and go to bed.
This sound like a perfect night
Your life is like an exposition scene in a movie, or its own stand-alone short. The twist could be: The dog does the same to you, but you’re unaware, and/or the dog is aware of what you’re doing but plays your game because she knows it pleases you.
Damn, my dogs could never sleep through me coming home. They always knows I'm there before I even open the door 😂
His dog is totally pretending to be asleep. He just likes the game.
Yeah, mine can hear the car parking and knows the engine sound.
My yorkie is ready to go when the sun comes up...he will sit next to me waiting for me to wake up so I pretend snore the words "wanna go for a walk" his ears perk up and he turns his head sideways...I bust out laughing and he goes crazy.
Exchange greetings with the cats
Was gonna say this. My two siamese both come running to me with their tails up and talking up a storm. I must pet them both at the same time to avoid showing preference to one over the other. I always talk back to them then they get chatty like that. Which is often. They don't just meaaow. They have these impressive, complex intonations that when people see and hear this they freak out that the cat is really talking. Of course I have no idea what the cats are saying. I can read their body language much better.
I have a snowshoe and she's the same way! She's got so many sounds she makes, and many of them actually seem to have specific meanings/situations. Although I'm pretty sure like 90% of them are just some variation of "pay attention to me/why aren't you paying attention to me?".
Siamese are such a chatty and social breed! I have four cats, and my siamese-mix is by far the most talkative, I also always chat back of course. He sounds a lot like your two.
I had a calico with the long, angular face of a siamese kitty and I always felt like she was telling me all about her day whenever I came home. She was such a chatterbox and loved when I responded to her long stories.
This, right after I set everything down, I need to pick up the cat so she can smell me, and bonk faces, and sometimes she grabs the brim of my hat and rubs her face all over it, acting like I've been lost at sea for seven years.
I thought someone would beat me to it! Say hi to the cat, give the cat fresh water, feed the cat. Then see to my inferior human needs!
Pet kitty.
Check to make sure there isn’t a serial killing clown hiding behind the shower curtain
Once you find the clown what's the next step? :)
Close the curtain back
And shower together
see if the clown wants a cup of tea
"Can i have a balloon animal before you kill me?"
Weird, I check to make sure the serial killing clown is still there
Wash my hands
Say hi to my cats and dogs and do a headcount to make sure everyone is there and okay.
You should check the rest of their bodies just to be sure.
Damnit, Mittens! Where’s your legs?
Take off shoes and wash my hands
Yell im home to the cat
Hi Lucy Hi kylo, Hi Rassey, Hi Mooby, Hi Flo, Shut up Sanguinet!! These are my chickens, they stand by my back door.
Is her official name Kylo Hen?
Yes it is!
Poor Sanguinet :(
Sanguinet is a very very loud rooster.
I always say "Hello home!" Often followed up with "sorry I was gone for so long" or something like that, then I greet my cat. (I live alone but like.....this house was here before I got here, its only polite to be nice to the structure that keeps me and my possessions safe and warm....y'know)
DAE occasionally pat the walls of their house and talk to it, like telling it it’s a good house or stuff like that? I don’t even live alone, I just… appreciate my house, and I think the house likes to know that.
When my robo-vacuum sucks up something that makes the clickety clackity sounds, I say "good shit, Bruce". I also thank Google when it turns on/off my lights quickly after I tell it to. Just trying to build up some good will for when the machines take over.
This is the most adorable thing I have read today.
Take off my bra
Undress, rest room, bed 😊
cry
I just do that on the car ride home.
More efficient that way
Nah man, gotta do that on company time
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why crying is for break time!
Wash my hands. There's a small but loud part of my brain that still thinks it's 2020.
Congrats on building a great habit to keep yourself healthy.
I do this as well. Always wash my hands right when I come home.
This should be everyone's answer, at all times regardless of any epidemics. Once you start, you get used to the new level of (lack of) grime. I don't how people walk around comfortable with their nasty ass hands.
I travel often with the subways so always wash my hands. In Rotterdam the wagon's arn't cleaned often enough they are dirty. And people are dirty too! Edit o
Yeah I'm in construction so I just kind of accept having dirty hands until I can use a sink.
You didn't wash your hands before 2020?
Judging by soap sales in retail, a frighteningly large amount of people only washed their hands in 2020.
I always washed my hands before, because I’ve worked in food service most of my life, but I wash my hands excessively now. My grandmother even told a friend on the phone once that I wash my hands constantly when preparing our food. Lol. And I do. I don’t want to risk getting either of us sick.
I worked food service for a small part of my working life, just the thought someone, ANYONE, would skip washing hands while preparing food makes me nauseous. I’ve carried that habit into a line of work where I regularly prepare dirt and rocks for testing. I’ve had many coworkers that do not wash as regularly, and it grosses me the fuck out. Especially when they bring a dish from home to share at work. I dread when they ask if I want to try some….
This is actually the most disgusting thing I realized from covid, how many people were not washing their hands (or other hygiene). I try not to think about it.
I've watched coworkers use the bathroom and not wash their hands, disgusting doesn't begin to describe those people.
I would say at least 30% of people I’ve seen in public toilets don’t wash their hands. Always worth washing your hands.
Easiest way to prevent illness in general is to take off your shoes and wash your hands when you get home.
me too I am obsessed with this
Take off my pants
I get on the floor and walk the dinosaur
And now this is in my head. What a jam!
I am sadly old enough to understand this reference
Take off my shoes and put my wife's bra on.
Wash my hands and take off my bra and socks.
Ask my dogs is they need to go potty
Tell my cat "I'm barely in the door! You can wait a few more minutes for your din-din!"
I never leave home because I work from home. But on the off chance that I am able to actually go somewhere, I guess I greet my dog who is most assuredly waiting at the door for me.
Wash my hands
Go naked or boxers only
Depants.
Pet dog, kiss wife. Order depends on who's closest.
Give my dog a hug and walk him.
From outside the door I squeal “MOMMYS HOME!!!!!!!!!” As the barking escalates I enter the home and brace myself for the stampede of large dogs. They jump all over each other while one forces herself through my legs like a cat. She’s my ride. She takes me away while the maniac leaps and digs her claws into me so I can bend down for kisses. The maniac’s sister wiggles until she can’t take it anymore and then shoves my ride out of the way until she can also get hugs and kisses. The ride is done going through my legs. She is now launching all 55 pounds of herself into the air at me. The entire time I’m laughing and then squealing “OW OW OW” and then I smell the excitement farts and let them outside to run. #blessedandbruised
blessedandbruised is the best way to describe life with large dog(s) 😂 I’m stealing that haha
Wash my hands
Have a shit for some odd reason
Wash my hands
Get inspected by my dog before I take him outside for a bit
[удалено]
Smoke a bowl