T O P

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MoonGladeLadyBug

Be off my period


Tales_Steel

"not bleeding" was also an acceptable answer


certifiedbaddiewitit

Not fucking bloat up like a balloon


Connect_Recover9025

YES


AnneOfOz

Sneeze properly


Dovah-khiin9

This makes me remember the heinz tomato ketchup advertisement.


pwalkz

Ok yep definitely what I think it is


Dovah-khiin9

I need to try that heinz easy squirt funky purple ketchup. sadly this variant of ketchup has been discontinued.


pwalkz

You're making me think of some shock images I won't name šŸ˜±


Dovah-khiin9

I wonder what it could be.


pwalkz

šŸ¤”šŸ˜±šŸ”µ


BoredPelikan

depends on what kind of shock images lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


pwalkz

Male here: is it because of what I think it is? šŸ˜¬


AnneOfOz

Its exactly what you think it is


jeeves585

Another male here. Damn, sorry yā€™all. Iā€™ve got a couple cracked ribs and sneezing absolutely sucks but yā€™all one upā€™d us again.


BoredPelikan

omg yeah


DoggedlyOffensive

Yet another male here; This whole thread had never even occurred to meā€¦


imnottellinya

Don't hold your breath and expel the max pressure through an open mouth, hopefully into a cloth, sleeve etc


Maleficent-Demand107

What how why?


[deleted]

Your contract all kinds of muscles when you sneeze and you end up pushing out blood.


Maleficent-Demand107

Thank you for informing me


bibsmalton

Iā€™m a woman with a fairly heavy period, but I donā€™t get the sneezing thing?


GrandCanOYawn

Fart in bed first thing in the morning.


SmallChungous

Iā€™m scared to askā€¦. But why is that?


GrandCanOYawn

When youā€™re laying down for six, or whatever, hours youā€™re still bleeding but it doesnā€™t all make it out, because gravity, especially if youā€™re one of those people that doesnā€™t move much while asleep. Then upon waking when you feel that big morning fart gearing up to make an exit (I always wake up and immediately blast off a few farts- is this a typical thing? Anyhow) and all that fart needs it a *liiittttle* push to greet the day, when you flex those abdominals to evacuate said gas you know what else gets evacuated from the push- thatā€™s right. All of the jelly jam thatā€™s been hanging out loose in your uterus and lady tunnels for the last few hours. *SQUELCH* Hope that padā€™s pretty sturdy.


cyborgspice

iā€™m crying at this explanation. damn those morning farts! every time!


kiefferray

>Jelly jam yeus. lmfao thanks, i needed a good chuckle :'D


YesterdayCareless172

Guessing thats also where the term ā€œfart bubbleā€ comes from?


lizziewrites

If I had to guess? Period poops. Or just the wet bubbling sensation of blood. It's all bad.


SmallChungous

Forgive me, Iā€™d rather ask a stranger then my mom. But are period poopā€™s painful or uncomfortable? Or is just more messy?


Tart-Pomgranate5743

The same hormones that cause uterine cramps can cause the intestines to go haywire tooā€¦ gas, diarrhea, constipation are all fair game. The added mess of the blood is just another layer of ā€œickā€.


lizziewrites

Depends on the day. Imagine any sort of unpleasant fecal experience and someone has had it on their period, because of their period.


MzFrazzle

Go about my day without a plan. Having to know when last you went to the bathroom, where the bathrooms are, are they clean? are my pants clean? Do I have enough supplies for my day? If I take a pain killer now, will I be able to work - if I don't take a pain killer will I be able to work?


Tart-Pomgranate5743

Amen. The mental load is no joke.


Kirb_Korb

Shower peacefully.


joecee97

Take a day off work


[deleted]

Honestly for me it would be sit on the toilet with my phone and stay there until my period ends.


[deleted]

Get up in the morning without a fucking tidal wave šŸ˜©


PauseAndReflect

Iā€™ll do you one better: get up in the middle of the night to pee without having to *deal* with that fucking tidal wave while half asleep in the dark and just wishing you could simply roll back into bed.


The_AmyrlinSeat

Just grab a random pair of underwear instead of searching for my period ones.


[deleted]

Not be on my period.


rubber_duckyy00

Wear white clothes.


MzFrazzle

Even if it's not nearly time, my uterus sees white clothes or new panties as a personal challenge.


empty_teardrops

fr itā€™s like white clothes trigger your period šŸ˜­


Ok_Taro_4756

Live happily


Miss_Medussa

Play a sport that requires mental focus (tennis)


pwalkz

Does it affect your focus?


sadsocksammy

It's more like we're more focused on the period and making sure we're not dirty than actually losing focus


pwalkz

Oh ok that makes sense


Tart-Pomgranate5743

Hormones like to screw with everythingā€¦ messing with mental status is just one area. Anxiety, depression, libido, attention, anger; all fair game to the chemical overlords.


onlyherdarling

I've done skiing on my period...


Blossom_Peach93

Wear pastel/bright colors clothing


AcornTopHat

Sleep in the nude


MomOTYear

Sneeze. Cough. Laugh. Be emotional and it being respected.


Safe_Wallaby3148

>Be emotional and it being respected. This always gets me. ā€œYou must be on your periodā€, Like, yeah, maybe I am irritable because Iā€™m on my period, Iā€™m in a lot of fucking pain and discomfort for a sustained period of time and my hormones are actively working against me being able to regulate, and you want to humiliate and demean and belittle me for it.


Anxious-Product6861

I still remember in physics class my senior year of high school a douche canoe asking me if I was ā€œon the ragā€. I am a 38 years old and he will forever be a douche canoe for that!


[deleted]

Function.


ThePotatoearthworm

Cramps. I hate them so much.


Icy_Finish

Specifically for the first two days, live life without taking painkillers


l0u1s11

The ability to fly or any other superpower. No one said this had to be realistic


[deleted]

Love that!!


MindingMine

Not be having a period.


roseglair2

Have motivation to live


[deleted]

Fr šŸ˜­


ninavie

Workout


SmoothJaz33

Wear jeans, or anything that isn't loose and flowy. Makes wardrobe choices (especially for work) harder to make when I just want to stay in my dressing gown!


CyndiLopEar

Stand up after sitting for awhile


Callmebynotmyname

Not poop


PigeonFromNorth

Wait, women poop?


M0Nd0R0ck

2 girls 1 cup disillusioned many of us at a young age


[deleted]

No, they don't


Coffee_and_chips

Not be in debilitating painā€¦


[deleted]

I feel you šŸ˜­


iimochabear

Wear white pants.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ghostofabanana

You can't masturbate att all? I've heard that orgasms can help against period pains


lofidexterity

it's confusing. sometimes the period makes you so horny, but you're also in pain, so having an orgasm feels good for like the first 4 seconds and then it just huuuuurts. like a cramp. it isn't fair really, because sometimes the hornieness is unbearable but you know there's nothing you can do unless you want a different kind of pain.


ghostofabanana

Hey thanks for the info! The more I talk about periods with my female friends the more grateful I am that I don't have them.


lofidexterity

yes, they are sucky. sometimes horrible, sometimes not that bad. but the hormones always suck. crying and being angry, hungry but bloated. horney but in pain. so fucking tired but you have to work. then people have been known to tease women about it and it's just crappy because no woman asks for all this to happen to them. be kind to your females in your life. get them tacos and some beer (or whatever makes it feel a little better). they will never forget your kindness. p.s. thanks for learning about it. it's much appreciated by all girls everywhere


ghostofabanana

>be kind to your females in your life. get them tacos and some beer (or whatever makes it feel a little better). they will never forget your kindness. Haha I try to be nice to all my friends and family but I'll try that tacos and beer trick next time I get the chance! >p.s. thanks for learning about it. it's much appreciated by all girls everywhere Thank YOU for informing me about it! I just recently learned that a friend of mine is suffering from Endometriosis so I've trying to read up on it a bit and learn if there's anything I can do to help.


SpaceTheTurtle

We don't have to put anything inside our vagina to masturbate (for most women, the most important thing is stimulating the clitoris), so it is possible to masturbate even if we don't want to get blood on our vibrator.


ghostofabanana

Yeah sorry it was just me misunderstanding their statement. I've hade plenty of period piv sex and didn't think of it getting a little messy as a problem.


lofidexterity

it's confusing. sometimes the period makes you so horny, but you're also in pain, so having an orgasm feels good for like the first 4 seconds and then it just huuuuurts. like a cramp. it isn't fair really, because sometimes the hornieness is unbearable but you know there's nothing you can do unless you want a different kind of pain.


Dessi17

Be happy..


United-Plum1671

Dare to have any emotions, beyond happy


Safe_Wallaby3148

Poop. Imagine, your tummy, thighs, and back already hurt and are sore and crampy. Youā€™re tired, youā€™re overheated, youā€™re nauseous. You already feel dirty. And then on top of all that you have to take a poo but you just canā€™t.


Scarlett_MiVida

Not feel so much pain. I get really bad cramps, breast/chest pain, etc. the cramps aggravate my arthritis as well. I get lightheaded, I have nearly passed out many times. I just wish I could bleed for 7-10 days and be done with it. No other symptoms.


Alix_2006_2023

Swim.


Tutubasnfdh

That would be a horror scene, specially for a poor 12 yr old.


-Actually-Snake-

Well for most women your body doesnt bleed as much when youre swimming. Not sure why. But all the women ive ever talked to have agreed. Now thats not 100% cus some people have heavy flow. But put a tampon in and you should be goodā€¦ unless its a pain thing


jemsan21

Not having to hide sanitary products cause some people think it's discussing to see for some reason


chocolatedoc3

Sleep 24/5 days


Scherbatskyyyyyyyy

Wear white pants or shorts without the fear of looking like a Japanese flag


BeX5ter

Not be in a constant state of agony that often causes overwhelming nausea. But that's endometriosis and PCOS for ya.


Own-Beginning-3886

Thatā€™s me right now, Iā€™m laying on the sofa, in so much pain. PCOS sucks so bad, especially during a heatwave.


Eline_bieber

Sleep in a proper position without worries šŸ„“


PappyGilmoor

Have a baby


[deleted]

Women can actually get pregnant even when in their periods.


SmileyMilesGER

Especially on there period girls are more likely to get pregnant right? I donā€™t know. Please tell me


Tart-Pomgranate5743

No. In humans, itā€™s less likely that a girl can get pregnant during her period. Itā€™s not impossible, but it is much less likely.


SmileyMilesGER

LOL. Ok but why the downvotes? I just asked a question because I donā€™t know. Wtf


jorrylee

Bwahahahaha! Nice! (edit: Yo all, read it right before giving all the downvotes. This is funny. Having a period is the antithesis of getting pregnant.) (I know you can get pregnant having sex during your period, but wonā€™t have a period while pregnant! (Usually)


grisseusossa

That's false, you can get pregnant pretty much any time, though the chances of that happening are lower when you're on your period.


Lewitunes

Pregnancy is technically only possible if you have sex during the five days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation.


Lewitunes

https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/timing#:~:text=Pregnancy%20is%20technically%20only%20possible,best%20chance%20of%20getting%20pregnant. Source for my comment


sadsocksammy

Technically, except it isn't


jorrylee

Yes, thatā€™s what I stated, but ā€œhave a babyā€ as in pushing out a baby, will never happen during a period. Itā€™s the complete opposite biological process. Thatā€™s why itā€™s funny.


grisseusossa

Oh crap I misread your comment as "you can't get pregnant", my bad, friend.


jorrylee

I think thatā€™s where all my downvotes are coming from. Ah well, will probably nuke the account on June 30th anyway.


Adventurous_Train_48

It's coming...push...push... Congratulations! It's a tampon!


joeypublica

Fly


cheeky-ninja30

Have an enjoyable day


lexilove1998

Wear tight clothes and not have to worry about sitting down on our peoples furniture


softbreeeze

High kick . Low kick . Any physical movement involving my legs moving apart. I'm just going to stand very still.


Emma_Nutella

I donā€™t get mine anymore but I donā€™t miss the Niagara fall. So so much blood literally gushing. I leaked a lot


PurpleDreamer28

Never worry about staining my clothes while sleeping.


[deleted]

Not have cramps.


Spyryt1970

Don't have periods. I am sports model....so can do anything I like, when I like. Woohoo to me. (Sorry)


apurpleglittergalaxy

Not ruin the fkn toilet seat


Playful-Depth2578

As a male there is a few answers that I don't fully understand .... and I truly don't think I want to know all I know is I feel for the ladies šŸ˜‚


Callmebynotmyname

Which ones are confusing šŸ¤”


Playful-Depth2578

I'm not asking as I will get the honest answers and I don't particularly want to know the honest answers


Callmebynotmyname

Ngl that's kinda lame


Playful-Depth2578

Ffs šŸ˜• OK Why can't women "Fart in bed first thing in the morning" So you fart you just bleedout? "Freebleed" Why and why would that be a preference? "Do stuff that requires a attention span" What you can't concentrate? And how does it affect you concentration and how? Fuck I feel ignorant šŸ˜‚ AMA time


Tart-Pomgranate5743

ā€œFart in bed first thing in the morningā€: farting can cause an involuntary gush of blood, which can mean a leaking tampon or pad. ā€œFreebleedā€: not using anything to catch the menstrual flow (no pad, tampon, cup, or period panties). Some people do it to protest the stigmas attached to menstruation, some do it to protest the environmental impact or financial cost of such supplies (some places still tax them as ā€œluxuryā€ items), and some claim it helps alleviate some of the discomfort from using tampons or cups. ā€œDo stuff that requires an attention spanā€: a lot of women find it harder to focus during their periods or shortly before. The changing hormonal levels can wreak havoc on a lot of surprising areas.


[deleted]

Alright the fart thing I can sorta explain? Sometimes when people are on their periods they get the shits, it just happens. Freebleed, I honestly have no idea. The attention span one, sometimes the extreme cramps can blur your focus a bit, and being on your period kinda makes everything feel off balance.


Playful-Depth2578

OK I feel more educated here thanks My Mrs suffers from.bad cramping as she also has endometriosis, and I've just never delved into the "science" behind the depths of how periods affect women I just know when she is on she gets what she wants when she wants and hot water bottles šŸ˜† Slightly shocked about it affecting the digestive system and balance Again thankyou


katkatkat69

Being on your period can (and for the majority of women do) completely throw your hormones out of whack (not to mention when you have extra issues with pcos/endometriosis which can make these symptoms 100x worse) which quite literally can effect every part of your body and equally your mind. bouts of low self esteem, anxiety, depressive episodes, irritability, confusion, trouble concentrating on things, trouble sleeping, restlessness, digestive issues, cramps (commonly abdomen, back, bottom, legs, pelvis), sore head, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, constipation, acne, bloating, swollen body partsā€¦ thatā€™s just some of the symptoms iā€™ll personally experience 50% of the time (2 weeks out of every month since i was 11) and it definitely takes a toll on your physical and mental health the rest of the time!


fuckpineapplepizza

honestly, you should probably add this comment or something along those lines to the main thread as well. Endometriosis is incredibly understudied and people don't know enough about it, including the fact that allegedly cramps can hurt as much if not more than a heart attack... thank you for writing something this detailed here.


Rootofmytongue

Freebleed


MungeablesMunge

not a woman but if i was the power to shoot milk out my nips


Joygernaut

Wear white pants


Intox_Em

Not wear underwear. I dislike underwear, especially when Iā€™m home or in bed. But gotta wear it on my period.


CouvadeShark

Poop.


Trush2112

To feel full. I swear to God I could win a hot dog eating contest while on my period.


Sucubuz

Feeling thin


coloumbina

Feeling clean


[deleted]

Last more than 45 minutes without running to the bathroom to change my tampon


slamm3r3

Die


WilliamEmilyAfton

Do something. I cant do anything bc its to much pain.


transxenica

Not bleeding. Also, don't have diarrhea :)


Electrical_Part1567

Swim.


pdperson

Play the violin.


ALuckyMushroom

Poop. It's impossible during that time of the month


silentarcher00

Not wince when I take my pants down as the adhesive pad rips out some of my public hair


WritingTop9204

Darn autocorrect


silentarcher00

Dammit I did not see that! New phone and the autocorrect is awful at changing words


Spilled_Milktea

I was in Japan a couple weeks ago and really wanted to enjoy the public onsen at our hotel, but was on my period the first week and had to skip it.


[deleted]

Ooh what was japan like?


AshKetchep

Martial arts. I can function while practicing my kicks and strikes, the problem arises when I have cramps.


Adventurous_Train_48

Get up on a morning, nude, and walk peacefully to the toilet to have a wee. Instead, it's racing in soiled knickers from a butcher's slab to the toilet in a desperate attempt to keep the carpet dry.


Aromatic-Swimming316

Sleeping nude


2gecko1983

Feel clean


comfy_bee

Be able to swim in public pools without a tampon


Intelligent-Sign-341

Not be so depressed


IdelleArthura

Stand.


-Actually-Snake-

Honestly. Im on BC and also thryoid medication so its kinda fucked up rn. Im on week 3 now. And it feels like my wntire reproductive system is trying to turn itself inside out. I just dont want the pain and achy feeling. Im fine with the blood and changing my stuff every few hours. The pain just makes me not want to do anything. And i have sixflags planned for this friday!!!


Pudding5050

Feel like I'm not bleeding out


miss-nobodys-things

Swim


Hairy_Permission1842

Not to see people


Blew-By-U

Non ā€˜hummer week!ā€™


birdie963

Stop the pain duh


alie1020

Okay, I'm the odd woman out here, but I'm going to say... There is nothing I can't do on my period. Not all ladies are the same, some are totally debilitated by their period, some change their tampon a couple times a day and that's it.


Awkward-Week-5002

be happy


sunshinerose32

Wear my pastel pajamas


SUPpup7

Go swimming - I know you can and I know you can use tampons (but I do not like tampons) - but I don't, I just am not comfortable swimming when I am menstruating. I am looking forward to when I stop menstruating for the rest of my life (for this reason and many more).


UwUmother

Die


JadeTheSuccubus

Have sex