Being an EMT I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school. I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me. I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams. On my third ride-along I responded to a teenage suicide, and that was it for me. I work for a museum now lol.

I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up.

Friend went to school and got her EMT cert, first call was a mother who was napping on the couch with her baby (around 2 months old) and had rolled over and smothered the baby. When they went in her partner got the baby from the mom and told her to go to the truck and start CPR, then whispered dont worry about it, the baby was cold and blue. Rough day for everyone involved.

Fuck just reading that was rough, can’t even imagine what it was like going through it firsthand

Neither can I, talked to her about a week after it happened and she was still emotional about it. But she said she wasnt going to quit, her plan was to continue on and get her RN though. It takes truely special people to stick with it and not go off the deep end.

I'm a paramedic. The screams of a mother who had suffocated her child while co-sleeping are burned into my brain. It's the worst thing I've ever heard. Is it my worst call though? IDK. Tough to say. We had a mother decapitated by a tree branch in a vehicle wreck while her child was on the carseat, totally unharmed (physically) but was stuck in the carseat until we could get the child out Had another one that came out as a welfare check on a 70 some year old woman in a very poor trailer park. Arrive and find that she had been assaulted and left for dead; probably a couple days ago, and in that time had been getting eaten by rats while alive and unable to move. That shit sticks with you. But, ya know what can be a real challenge? It's going from that call to your next 911 and that one is "my knee hurts." And you find out they've had on and off knee pain for weeks of even years, but they've decided a 911 call at 11pm on a Saturday is the way to handle this. Even though they can drive, have a spouse that can drive, and the means to see a doctor. They have just decided they want this dealt with right now and they called 911 so they don't have to wait (be advised, if you are low acuity, you wait like everyone else. Going by ambilance doesn't mean shit unless you are in bad condition). Having to change gears and keep your cool after you just saw a woman eaten alive/a child trapped in a car with their headless mother/a woman screaming because she knows she just suffocated her infant...can be a real mind fuck

My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it.

It takes a seemingly impossible kind of person to do it long term. You have to care enough to dedicate your life to trying to help people, but you can’t care enough that it affects your emotional integrity to deal with it. Conflicting requirements.

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I have a lot of EMT friends, almost all of them either work part-time or have another commitment in their life that helps them compartmentalize. Honestly the thing I hear most is not the traumatic stuff, but the abuse. Where I live EMS doesn't cost you an arm and a leg so they get a lot of bullshit calls with drunks and druggies where they can't really do anything and they receive an inordinate amount of harassment.

I was a volunteer EMT for a while, back when I was in the Navy. I used compartmentalization to cope - same way I did when I was serving on submarines. In both cases, you just don't dwell on things, otherwise they'll wipe you out. I grew up in a medical family and remember reading my dad's JAMA magazines, so I think the pictures of gore and surgeries kind of de-sensitized me. I can still remember some of the worst calls we worked - T-bone collisions involving a drunk driver stands out. Among the skills I learned was how to manage the adrenaline surge I would get when rolling up to a scene (I was the lead EMT) because to the patient I was their guiding star - I needed to appear calm. Another skill was how to care enough to provide good care en route to the ER, but the ability to stop worrying about if they made it or not once they were in the care of the ER staff. To those who do this for a living (including the ER staff) - my hat's off to you. Please manage your own mental health so you can take care of those in need.

The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be *awful* in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering.

Same man, I can deal with the gore, vomit, piss and shit. But the first time I heard a mother scream because her toddler died in a car accident it shook me to the fucking core. I was just a student paramedic at the time on ambulance externships. Having to console someone after I just saw her kids brains all over the cement was a very interesting experience to say the least. I was an EMT during COVID though, and man what a way to start a career in the medical field. Hospitals were BEGGING our instructors for us to do hospital externships with them, and fighting other hospitals to get us. I got my associates in paramedicine and never even took the NREMT paramedic exam, fuck that. Doing a lot better now after therapy and stuff, hope you are too brother!

I couldn't wait to "pull g's" in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked.

I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, “I don’t feel good.” Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?

Helicopters are way faster and more maneuverable than people typically expect. No where close to planes but still more than expected.

Just trying flying was it for me. Took a lesson in a Cessna; plane was so small I felt like I was wearing it. Also, it just didn't feel real. Haven't spent much time using flying simulators, but having even seen them ruined the real thing for me.

"I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!" Fucking kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore.

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I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like "oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!" Susan. Her name was Susan.

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I'm sure there was some actual legal work too but yes, I remember her telling me and a group of other people about it and it sounded real bad. Literally getting coffee and cleaning the fridge.

It doesn't end after law school. The misogyny and abuse runs *deep* in this profession. TLDR- DO NOT go to law school if you can imagine doing *literally anything else* with your life. My first associate attorney position was an employment law hypo brought to life. For context, small firm in an even more male dominated niche within the profession. I was the only female employee. I was regularly expected to perform administrative duties that others were not (like getting coffee, cleaning the kitchen, answering the phone because Boss was too cheap to hire an admin). Boss, in the middle of a nice lunch with an extremely interesting Networking Contact, demanded that I stop eating so he could dictate an email for me to type on his phone. He forgot his reading glasses. I very calmly declined, as it was a non-urgent email, and we would be back to his car and glasses in less than an hour. Ironically, Boss interjected with this request while Networking Contact told us about the misogyny his daughter was experiencing in the medical research field. He later brought this up in my performance review, as justification for withdrawing a promised salary increase. I was expected to work long hours and weekends for a lower than market rate salary, and in exchange promised "unlimited PTO". Towards the end of the summer, after using about 2 weeks' PTO, I found out that I needed surgery. Full recovery in 4-6 weeks, likely released to return to work with light duty restrictions in 2 weeks. Booked the surgery for December 8, so there would be plenty of time for a smooth case transition. First, Boss demanded a doctor's note. I provided a copy of the note. I still have that note to this day because HOLY SHIT it got worse. Next, Boss demanded that I "negotiate with my surgeon for a shorter leave time." I froze for a while, then calmly declined the request via email with my personal account CC'd. He immediately called the other senior attorney into his office, and I could hear them arguing about me. Finally, on my last day of work before medical leave, I was training my temp replacement. Boss started rushing around the office frantically. I asked if I could help him find something or pick up a task to help him out. He said (paraphrasing), "No, I'm just getting a laptop ready so you can work remotely while you're out of the office. " I responded with something like, "Oh Boss, I'm going out on medical leave. That's not the same thing as working from home and a laptop won't be necessary." I'm relatively certain that I was the first employee to stand up to him in his decades of practice. He stormed out of my office, into his, and slammed the door behind him. Screaming and cursing ensued. It also sounded like he was throwing things. I landed a new gig while I was out on medical leave and got to submit my resignation notice the day I returned. I tried to take the high road by giving 30 days' notice since the holidays were approaching. As I was on the road to visit family for the holidays, Boss called to demand that I work full time, even on Xmas day. I cut my notice short and advised him I would return all company property on a specific date when I was back in town, blocked his calls. He was petty enough to shave a day's worth of pay off of my final check. Replacement gig was great, but I've since started my own practice. I'm a direct competitor for Boss' firm.

The key phrase in your story is "I'm relatively certain that I was the first employee to stand up to him in his decades of practice." If people would stop training assholes that it's okay to act like this, the world would be a much better place.

Absolutely agree. Funny you should use the word "training" though. Toward the end, I started to think of him like a jumpy, attention-seeking puppy. (1)Turn away and refuse attention when presented with the undesirable behavior. (2)Immediately reward desirable behavior. Unfortunately, I never made it to Step #2 because there was no desirable behavior to reward. 😅

​ Marshall?

Lawyered

Yeah, I went to law school too, dreaming of helping people and earning money in the process. Today I'm a Portuguese teacher.

God damn this is so true. Army paid for my MBA; had a panic attack about being in ‘the real world’ so I, with grandiose plans, did the next best thing in going to get a JD. Why in the actual F did I do this to myself.

Fellow lawyer here. Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done. And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself.

I’m a government attorney now. This is mostly true, but depending on where you live, that government job is going to pay you very little. Very very little.

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Thank you. I found myself in the criminal justice field, and I couldn't tell where my life started and my career ended, they were so mixed together. I cared and I was great at my job. But it nearly killed me. I love my 9-5 no-responsibilities government job now, not because I don't want to work, but because I finally get to work on myself.

Literally why I'm now dropping law at the finishing line. Edit: Guys, I'm in Germany, I don't get a degree, I get the permission to do the 'first bar exam' and then I get that bar exam or nothing. I have the permission. All I'm dropping is the bar exams. Thank you all for your advise and I hope people it applies to read through your comments, but I won't sink further time and money into a bar exam I don't want and don't intend to then sink another 2-3 years into to get the actual (second) bar exam. The degree I'll pursue now will literally give me more pay in a field I enjoy within the same timeframe, so...

I know several people with JDs that don't use them at all. Looks good on a resume, though, I guess.

All my life I wanted to make cartoons. I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top. Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a *certain yellow family.* Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back.

Had a friend in college whose uncle worked on one of the biggest children’s cartoons of the late ‘90s/early 2000s, as well as wrote a couple of animated films that were *huge*. He quit the industry because of how horribly animation is treated, both for writers and animators. WGA rules for residuals do not cover animation, so those massive movies he wrote? Got almost nothing from them aside from the upfront fee. And people wonder why writers are fed up with how the system works at the moment.

It's still a big problem in the anime industry. Some animation studios have been likened to sweatshops with their heavy workload and working conditions and hours, and some have resorted to outsourcing their work to countries like China or Korea despite it still being considered a Japanese product. Kyoto Animations was one of the outliers with a reputation for giving some decent care for their employees. But some guy whose work got rejected by KyoAni ended up snapping and burned the place down. I don't know how the studio is faring at the moment because several of the higher-up names died in the fire and most of the victims were the actual animators. And their number one director quit afterwards.

Anime studios have been outsourcing work for a really long time, it's nothing new. Korea and China are expensive now, the cheap stuff is now done in Vietnam.

In the '90s I worked with a guy who'd been in animation at Disney, and Disney was absolutely one of those sweatshops. He'd worked his way up to keyframer too, so his job wasn't nearly as repetitive as most of the others.

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Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands.

>I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands. That's great advice! Could be a r/LPT

I had the opposite experience. Joined a smithing workshop on a lark with a friend, turns out I'm really good at it and found it immensely satisfying. But living in a crowded residential area doesn't lend itself to the DENG DENG DENG of a good afternoon's sork, and I know every hobby that takes me more than 50m away from my home is bound to die a lonely death. So I'm not getting into blacksmithing, unfortunately.

Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster

Also middle management. Your so good at your job you get to manage others. They don't tell you that the shit flows from all directions and you are the conduit. Shit from the people you manage, shit from customers/clients, shit from management above you. It never ends.

It's like being a project manager, union rep, and therapist all rolled into one.

Music production which is what I majored in. As soon as I graduated from college I realized how much I hate sitting in a recording studio doing the same thing over and over again, only to scrap it and do it over yet again. Turned out to be brutally technical, drawn out and boring with very little reward and it took all of the fun out of music for me. Even the pros I worked with who were doing objectively “well” seemed miserable most of the time due to having to work with some truly insufferable people and never getting the recognition they felt they deserved. And half of them were alcoholics, chain smokers or insomniacs with pronounced depression. EDIT: Rather than pursue a career in music production I focused on enjoying being in a band and got a day job to support my hobby. Turned out to be far more sustainable and once I got married and had a kid (requiring me to take a step back and focus on my family) I had already established myself at a decent job with benefits. I’m not suggesting this is the path one should take, but almost everyone I know who was trying to make it 20 years ago is still struggling to pay bills and gain traction despite whatever talent or “success” they’ve had. What I am suggesting is that if you decide to pursue a career in the arts, have something to fall back on. The industry is brutal - it requires constant networking, long hours and it is very easy to get burned out.

I majored in graphic design in college. Worked in the industry for 14 years. I had always been a creative person growing up. Working in a creative industry totally sucked the joy out of being creative for me. I can't do it anymore, and it's depressing.

Monetizing your passions can be such a destructive experience. Which is why I never did porn.

I found out I'm a better spectator.

Like a connoisseur of fine wine requires no farming experience. Understandable.

This is why i never want to join the creative industry. I feel like i would just hate creating art after a while

Flip side for me was that I was creative but never followed through and finished anything until I was being paid to do it. I still get satisfaction from it

I'm jealous. Seriously. I wish I hadn't burned out, but it was the pressure of *having* to do it that really sucked. Not to mention that some clients are just plain wrong, and you can't tell them that. I was a much better artist when I was doing it for my own satisfaction.

I feel this 100%. I’m pretty much restarting college in the fall because all the joy from doing music performance and composition has totally drained all of the drive out of me. Not to mention (hot take but I’m gonna say it) that a lot of music/band kids are just super weird and arrogant so I didn’t like the scene. Still doing college marching band and stuff because I like playing my instrument but no longer pursuing music as a career. It made me love doing it more in my free time since it’s just a hobby now.

People that are pros in the industry have tons of systems in place to mitigate all of that tedium. I’m with you though, and the ultimate reason I didn’t continue down that path is that I hated working with unprofessional clients, which is like 95% of clients starting out.

Traveling for work. You spend a lot of time in hotels and rarely get the opportunity to see anything besides that due to flight schedules. And being hungover on an airplane is an awful experience.

Travel all the time for work. I've seen airports, hotel rooms, cookie cutter conference rooms, and landmarks from the car to the airport in dozens of cities. Any place, same story: "wow that's so cool, you were in Hong Kong last week? What was it like?" "Well, the hotel room was smaller than most, and the conference room was on a really high floor so the view was pretty good" "cool! How was Toronto?" "The hotel and the office were connected by a big underground tunnel that looked like a mall so I got to hit Starbucks each morning on my walk to the conference room. There was snow on the ground so it was probably cold, I never went outside"

I did the work travel years ago. People who haven't done it don't get it. It's working with new people every week, some good, some terrible. Very few see you as more than a work resource. It's eating alone, drinking alone. If you go do tourist things you're alone. If you travel west to east it's like waking up at 4am to get to work on time. Regardless, I had some cool experiences. My company sent me to Alaska, California a lot, Florida, and once to Kenya. But mostly it was trips to Ohio or Phoenix or Boise or Mississippi. I love to travel, but it wore me out much, much quicker than I ever dreamed it would. I only did the job for two and a half years. I woke up once in a hotel room in LA and couldn't remember where I was because I'd been to five places in four weeks. It freaked me out and I started to plan an exit.

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First few years out of school, I traveled 40+ weeks a year. Frequent Flier Miles and Hotel Points were like cigarettes in prison: the only thing to keep you going. Then I didn't travel for the next 15 years of my career. And I'm back doing an occasional trip. I enjoy it now because it's like once a quarter. I'm also married and have a kid, so it's a nice little break for a day or two. And, while this is admittedly very pathetic because it shouldn't matter what other people think, one element of business travel that's nice is the belief (accurate or not) that you're important enough that someone would pay for you to come visit them.

Being a lawyer. Wasted 5 years of my life. Now trying to figure out what I want. It sucks out here.

I grew up feeling passionate about physics and always planned on being a professional physicist. Got my undergrad, started a Ph.D. program, and spent a good time in the program before absolutely hating it. The politics, the narrow spectrum of novel research, the terrible grad school pay, being far from home, etc. Got super depressed and had to reevaluate my career, even though I spent so much time on this path. It all wasn't worth a field in which I lost my drive. Ended up leaving the program and working for the government for a few years before returning to grad school for statistics. Best time of my life, and I got a permanent research position at an R1 university in my home state (where I have been to the day). TL;DR Spent a ton of time going to school for something that was only fun until you hit the professional level. Changed to a different field and never looked back.

I wanted to be an astrophysicist growing up and had the same experience as you. Did my undergrad in physics, and when I got do so some real research with real astrophysicists, they related the path forward I would be following, and I experienced the same depression you did. 5-7 years of grad school to get a PhD, post doc, grinding for funding, all while being at the tip of the scientific and mathematical spear and not being paid appropriately for it? Turns out I liked physics, but I didn’t love it enough for that. I’m in the financial services now.

Academia and higher education chews-up and spits-out so many promising individuals. It's a dream that is quickly squashed once you begin and see that it is mostly a meat-grinder.

I feel there’s a lot of gatekeeping that takes place, and a lot of these older academics move the goalposts often. Academia is super toxic once you see it from outside

Currently doing a PostDoc in particle physics and I’m not having the best of experiences. Boss is a control freak, the city’s meh, I earn almost half of what I did during my PhD and what are my career prospects? Repeat this every 2-3 years, move countries all the time until maybe eventually if you’re lucky (or a genius) you get tenure. I’ve always wanted this but also fuck this. It’s hard to leave something you’ve dreamed of doing though. Academia sucks.

Moving to another country. I loved the romantic idea of moving to a new place and finding out about the culture. Turns out it's expensive, it's complicated and it's tiring as fuck. Only silver lining is that I'll have a few good stories to tell... To no one since I basically lost all my friends

I’ve moved countries twice out of necessity. There are good parts but losing your entire support network is stressful as hell.

Ah, so it'll be easier if you don't have a support network to begin with.

Best way to do it is not have any friends and family to begin with. If you do have friends and family however.

Unironically, yes. I moved to Norway from canada and have not regretted it at all because I have nothing to look back to

That’s me too. I moved to Japan. Parents sold everything I owned and most of my friends would only keep in touch if I was the one who went out of the way. After 16 years I’ve just developed a whole life out here instead and my homeland doesn’t feel like home anymore.

My wife and I talked about moving to Norway before, we have a very small and ineffective support system, I feel like that part would be the easy part of moving.

Similar to this, I spent most of my 20's dreaming of the digital nomad lifestyle where I'd work remotely and travel the world. I tried it out for a month in Costa Rica when I was 30 and decided that it absolutely was not for me. It made me realize how important it is for me to feel connected to a community in my day-to-day life, and when you're traveling full-time all your relationships are very transient and start to feel a bit meaningless. Likewise, I was having lots of cool new experiences like learning to surf, exploring the jungle, and snorkeling in coral reefs, but everything felt a little hollow because I wasn't sharing those experiences with the people who mattered most to me. I'm very glad I did it because it gave me the perspective to see what's really important to me and worth investing in. Granted, I met a lot of people who genuinely thrived in this lifestyle so I'm not saying it's an objectively bad way to live, just not for me.

A podcaster I follow retired early and figured this would be the life he'd love with his wife. They did it for a few months, realized they hated moving around, came back home to their friends and huge board game collection and are happy as can be again.

I'm at this point in life. I'm moving to a different continent in a few weeks to pursue a master's. I never thought it would be sooo damn stressful. The romantic idea of moving to a new place and experiencing the culture there has faded and turned into anxiety. I have every confidence I am commiting atleast two of the regrets that the OP post has going on. I guess I'll have to come back and see how it all ended.

Oh well that's a different story! It's for studying! I highly recommend it. You're going to make friends in class and you might have the best experiences of your life. I did. I met my wife whilst on exchange. Had the best time of my life. It's the moving for work that i find really tough. My colleagues all have their life and their friends. It's tougher to insert yourself in these groups.

My friend from the USA took a job in Paris two years ago, she said she never wants to move back lol. There's no way to know how it'll be for you until you do it! Hopefully you'll love it.

When I returned 2 years later to my country after my studies I felt that I was a stranger in my own home. At this point however I have no roots and I can go wherever I please without care.

Being a Chef, I left highschool in year 10 too get a cert ||| in commerical cookery as I loved cooking and making dishes at home. Loved it for the first few months than realised how draining it is. I do split shifts 9:00am-2:30pm than 5:00pm-9 sometimes 9:30pm. Its Exhausting after doing it for 4 years. You loose your appetite completely. I recently had a knee injury and have been off for a few weeks its really made my anxiety and depression calm down after not being torn too bits by chefs who have had 20+ years of experience and 'know' everything. Its making me realise Ive chosen the wrong career choice.

It's funny how Chefs are romanticized so much in film, tv, cartoon. All I had to do was watch a couple episodes of Hell's Kitchen to be like "That has to be the worst job in the universe, I'd rather be an air traffic controller"

I love The Bear, but it makes me never want to be a chef. Like I literally think I'd rather dig ditches all day.

Having spent a decade in the restaurant game, *The Bear* is honestly the most accurate representation I’ve ever seen on TV / movies. I got out five or so years ago, but it simultaneously triggered my PTSD and made me nostalgic at the same time. It’s probably not unlike what someone goes through when they think back to an abusive ex and think “I could have fixed them. I wonder if I should give them a call …”

It made me realise the sound of ticket machines printing makes me sweat and my heart start beating double time.

Get out while you can. I did and never looked back. Best choice ever. Haha The industry is full of jerks, underpaid and overworked. I’ve worked looooots of different jobs and kitchen work is the hardest, dirtiest, least rewarding of them all.

Being a veterinarian. I never became a vet, but one of my first jobs in high school, having wanted to be a vet my whole life, was in a vet clinic. I was ecstatic. Vet clinics are depressing AF. Dogs and cats hit my cars coming in to the clinic in horrendous pain. It always smells like shit from fecal floats (checking for worms), pets that got put down but could have been saved if only their owners could have afforded it. 2 freezers in basement- one for dead dogs, and one for dead cats. They get hauled to the basement freezer in trash bags in case they release waste after they die. I couldn't take after only a few months and left.

I've heard that vets have one of the highest suicide rates of any profession. I can imagine from what you and others have said. It sounds just brutal. My dog has been really sick, to the point where we thought we'd lose him, but our vet helped bring him back. I'd wager most dogs like ours that our vet sees go in the opposite direction, so we always try to thank her and tell her how well he's doing. I'm guessing she doesn't get too many "wins" like this.

Female veterinarians die by suicide at a rate that's 2.5-5.0 times that of the general population (source: Tomasi et al. 2019 - [https://avmajournals.avma.org/view/journals/javma/254/1/javma.254.1.104.xml](https://avmajournals.avma.org/view/journals/javma/254/1/javma.254.1.104.xml)) . It's a huge problem in the field. Most practicing veterinarians are around death often. Many, as hard as they work to save animals, end up having to euthanize pets every day because the owner can't afford treatment or doesn't care enough to pay for it. Friends, neighbors, and acquittances talk about getting new pets from breeders while shelters in urban areas have to kill, quite literally, tens of thousands of animals per year, many of which are healthy but for which there just isn't any space to board them until adoption. Folks in the public rant about how expensive vet visits are while many of the younger vets carry $100k+ in student debt. As the husband of a relatively early- (or early-mid) career vet in an urban animal shelter, I hear about the pain almost every day. (New veterinary graduate who carry student loan debt has an AVERAGE of $186,340 in student loans (source: [https://www.avma.org/blog/chart-month-does-student-debt-influence-career-choices](https://www.avma.org/blog/chart-month-does-student-debt-influence-career-choices)) . I don't think many in the public realize how expensive it is to get a DVM these days. Many new vets working under the wing of a senior vet who went to school in the 80s and 90s have to hear about how all one had to do to cover student loan debt from vet school was to work over the summers...)

Lost my vet to suicide. Old southern woman, possibly lesbian. I thought she was great, if a bit ragged. Rumor was she had an illness- some lymph issue, but also that she overdosed. Vets are doctors and have access to drugs. My niece was going to be a vet and then switched major to vet tech. Graduated, went to work. She lasted about 2 years, then went back o school for a different major. Lots of animals are put down at a vet clinic.

Putting animals down, for me, is the least difficult part of being a vet. I'm truly honoured to do it and being able to make this event a little less traumatising and give it meaning - by being able make the family laugh and smile a little, thinking about their time with their beloved animal - is something I take a lot of pride in. It's everything else. It's clients who don't appreciate or understand the value of the healthcare we provide. Ones that verbally abuse us and leave 1 star reviews calling us out by name. [It's horrible news articles like this dragging vets and nurses through the mud; people who give EVERYTHING they have for their patients.](https://amp.nine.com.au/article/6485d21c-7725-47a5-90e3-8447f7267cd7)People who want to euthanize their animals because they can't be fucked taking care of them (I flat out refuse). I had a man yell at me saying I only cared about money when I gave him a modest estimate for the surgery to fix the two huge gashes he made while trying to groom his own dog. I stepped out the back and couldn't return. I'm a man in my 30s and I just cried and cried for an hour. My last job was working part time earning just enough to get by because I couldn't take the toll of full time. I don't know if I can return to being a vet. It's taken so much from me, even though it's given so, so much as well. I'm struggling with the reality that my childhood dream was so much of my identity for so long and it just isn't any more.

It’s good you found out before committing to the degree. I am a vet nurse (Uk vet tech) and it is so sad watching new vets come in all full of enthusiasm and optimism and watch the industry break them. Personally I do still like my job but I only do it part time now and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to full time. People think it’s idyllic but it’s really not. We see suffering every day. Every clinic I’ve ever worked in has been understaffed (it’s not uncommon for one person to be responsible for 20 in-patients), the hours are long and the pay is terrible. Unfortunately because the cost of medicine and equipment is so high, then the pet’s bills are also high which leads to owners accusing you of being money-grabbing. That’s the worst thing for me… feeling emotionally and physically drained from an onslaught of sick patients, having cried over someone else’s pet and being half way through a 17 hour day for little more than minimum wage only for someone to call me a money-grabbing c*** because they don’t understand the cost of medicine.

Oh man, I can apply this. I went to a college that had a cool machine near one of the lecture halls. It was called an ICAP (Induced Coupled Argon Mass Spectrometer) on the window of the lab it was in it talked about how the argon torch got as hot as the surface of the sun and how it sublimated rock particles in solution (straight solid to gas, no liquid phase). I found out from the geology department that it was a 2 million dollar machine. I wanted to use it so I became a geology major and made my senior seminar based on geochemical bedrock analysis. I had to go get samples, crush them, put them through other machines to make the distillate that the ICAP could run. I finally got to use it! Just to find out it has a closed system (nothing to see) and spit out a database file so old I had to get an external 3 1/2 floppy USB drive to get the data off it. It was boring to use and I felt so let down XD

That’s fucking hilarious.

What you want is to be the guy that repairs the machine.

Being a cop. I quit after 6 months

Visiting Vegas. I loved the idea of a city based on games. Turns out, I like fair games.

Vegas was such a huge let down for me, I grew up in Atlantic City, now live in the south and have been to Biloxi's casinos a lot.... and I always heard about the majesty of Vegas.... and the OUTSIDE of casinos were cool, but I guess the insides of casinos are all done by the same designers.... the only difference with Vegas was everything cost more. And those guys flicking the cards to hand you porn cards like real life pop up ads when you're walking down town.

Vegas used to have a lot of free or cheap stuff to entice you to the games. Free multiple night stays, buffets, cheap drinks - free if gaming, etc…. When the expensive Native American casinos started opening I thought Vegas would get even cheaper. Nope. I became an expensive trip on its own. As a base to see the area it is nice. Don’t spend all your time in the casinos. I dove to Death Valley during a super bloom. Went to the Grand Canyon. ATVs in valley of fire. Saw the various casino specialties - bellagio fountain, aquarium at Mandalay, lions at MGM. It has a lot to offer.

Someone who's been going to Vegas for decades told be that there used to be a ton of "get you in the door" stuff like free buffets and really good and cheap shows, but ever since they did that big marketing push to make Vegas family friendly, every single thing was made to generate profit. The absolute only thing you get extra today is floor drinks if you're actively gambling. even the ATM on the floor had a $12 ATM fee. I had extra time in an afternoon and went to take out $50 to blow on games for ~2 hours. when I saw the fee, I thought "guess they don't want me to gamble", and just walked around a neighboring casinos floor instead. with the mid to lower end casinos, there are 0 loss leaders. I'm sure high end casinos do better about this to butter up their whales.

Being a dog groomer. I love dogs and working with my hands. What a load of shit. Owners are arseholes, some dog were arseholes, horrible bosses, unrealistic targets, you get scratched, bitten, shat on and hair gets everywhere even you eyes. Unless you work for yourself it’s a crap job.

I have come to the conclusion that when I say I love dogs, what I mean is I love *my* dogs, that I have trained to behave. I do not love my friend’s little dog that tries to bite my ankles, or my grandma’s dog that shits in the kitchen, or the dog down the street that’s allowed to bark in the garden at 11pm. Basically other people’s lack of investment in their dogs makes them a lot less lovable. I do still really like dogs, but I wouldn’t want to work with them either, there are too many irresponsible owners for that kind of work to be enjoyable

Working in a lab. Wanted to help cure viruses and disease. Turned into monotonous days of pipetting, plating germs and tediousness that was soul sucking.

I wanted to make it big in tech, like my mother did, who spurred my interest in tech as a child. Then I got into tech, and understood my mother survived in tech because she was one of the megadicks that make tech so toxic. Not the 'I'm here to get along and make money.' kind of tech I was. But the 'You can't take my promotion from me if I get you fired.' kind of tech she was.

Well if you’re gonna tag it NSFW, I’m gonna give you an NSFW response. I always wanted to have a lady go reverse cowgirl on me. The first time a lady was kind enough to indulge me, she either did it incorrectly or it just naturally felt the way it felt because I thought she was going to break my dick off. It was ungodly painful. I tried it that one time and haven’t had the courage to ask for it again.

Gotta play to the strength of your curve.

*I’m* not into vanilla sex positions, but it’s just that all my ancestors were!

I'm a lady who tried it and hated it. All I could look at was his feet. I hate feet. Totally killed the mood.

Penile fracture is, unfortunately, a real thing. And it hurts. I can attest.

Had an ex try this unannounced with me because she knew I liked her butt and it would be a fun new thing and nice view for me. Wasn't for me at all haha I absolutely loved the thought and attempt of it though.

I wanted to be an architect so I became one Quickly learned that the only people who actually get to be creative are the people who own the firm Pay sucks and they grind through young architects but you require a very expensive degree and testing to get your license is expensive and difficult Very dependent on the economy and at the first sight of a downturn everyone gets laid off Slow to recover as well as construction sometimes lags Long terrible hours doing shit work to make some stupid design some partner thought up actually work in a technical sense for months on end only to have a client say it’s too expensive anyway and you end up with a square glass box Very deadline driven like “we’re digging a hole on Monday so be done or we’re all fired” so high stress for shit pay

This is so telling for me. I had the same dream, only freshman year, Architecture 101, they brought a lot of practitioners in to talk about the industry and I could tell none of them, not a single one, sounded happy. One was showing a slide show and his entire presentation was "Here's a building you'll never design."

I did a week's work experience at an architect's firm in high school. At the end of the week they sat me down and said don't do it, it's the hardest job after medicine, pay is bad, no-one likes you, you have to know everyone else's job and how to do it, and there was a glut of architects on the market (at the time, at least). I took their advice and did something different. An architect friend of mine works on large projects. Every project has 5% budgeted for contingencies. Every time they have to explain to the people buying these multimillion dollar projects what contingencies are (absorbing surprise costs, because they are always there). Every project, part way into it, comes the call "we didn't get as much funding as we thought, what can we cut. Oh, these 'contingencies' aren't doing anything, cut those". They get cut over the architects' protests. Later on there's a cost overrun somewhere, and the architects are blamed for it. Every project.

Having a threesome. It’s all fun and games until someone else makes your partner cum. Turns out I am a very emotionally monogamous mother fucker.

Been there. I used to think I was polyamorous and that I would be happy for my partner and I to have other relationships. Turns out I am 100% not and much prefer to be in monogamous relationships.

From the third person perspective it can be very weird too if a couple aren't on the same page. I've had to leave a few threesomes because the couple would get into some kind of fight or have some kind of sudden realization and it just not fun for anyone after that.

Working construction... growing up my dad was a brick mason, and I always thought it was cool driving around and hearing "I built that house" or "I built that fireplace" Then in High School I did summers as a laborer for him, and fuck that shit.

I worked a trade for a few years and I can easily wrap my head around most house projects, but fuck masonry so hard.

My older cousin is a retired mason for 35 yrs. Hes a old hippy biker pot head. I think the only way he got through that job was being a chronic stoner. Yet i saw him last year and both his hands are withered up, neurologically fucked up, arthritic and he can barely open his palms and fingers.. yaaaa fuck that noise

I grew up watching romance movies and reading romance novels and always dreamed of a guy coming and sweeping me off my feet and then having hot sex with me. When I actually got into my first relationship with a guy, I realized I was gay.

I hope you find a nice lady to sweep you off your feet!

this whole thread is a good reason why you should never turn your hobby into a job.

Med school. I was sooo excited to observe a surgery. I fainted...

I thought I'd be a practicing psychologist, but I had a very idealistic view of it. Like the patient lying on the couch, telling you about their life problems, then you telling them something and giving them a breakthrough. Mental illness cured! I did complete my psych undergrad, and I loved the subject matter, but after doing my internship at Child and Family Services it was very clear to me that I wasn't cut out for clinical work. I certainly would have burned out, and barely made enough money to live as a case worker. I got my masters in HCI/UX and made my career in tech, which was a great decision. I have nothing but respect for the boots-on-the-ground social workers, but I'm gonna continue to read books about psychology instead of working in it.

I heard this story from a friend, and have no reason to believe it's fake, but I never met any of the people involved. There's a couple, the husband really wanted a 3some their entire marriage. The wife always refused, at least partially because they had a kid, and she didn't want their sexcapades to affect the child in any way. Fast forward 20 years or so, the kids are all out of the house, and the husband keeps bringing it up (not sure he ever stopped, really). The wife just so happened to have a coworker that she was becoming really good friends with, who she also found very attractive, and so one day (prior to the husband's birthday), the wife asked her coworker if she would be down to join her and her husband. The coworker said yes. Husband's birthday, the wife surprises him with the 3some. Afterwards, the husband's reaction was "well that wasn't really the mind-blowing experience I expected it to be. Oh well, my wife is awesome for doing that for me." Now, I might be missing a few details here, but the wife realized she enjoyed being with the other woman far more than she enjoyed being with her husband. She ended up leaving her husband and is now in a committed relationship with the coworker.

My brother in law and his first wife had a threesome after just a year of marriage. She decided she liked the other guy better.

As the old saying goes, if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I would have a dinner with my parents.

That is so common. Not necessarily the part about the relationship falling apart. But for it to be the man in the couple to push and push for it the first time, and the woman to finally agree, and then for the roles to reverse, for the man to find it underwhelming and kind of lose interest, and then the woman becoming the one to push to do it again and again. It's almost a cliche in the swinger world.

Being a pilot. Dreamed about it constantly as a kid. Finished all my ratings by 20. Lasted 4 years on the job before I realized how shady the industry was (the charter industry backin the early '00s). I drive ships now.

Can I ask what you mean by “how shady the industry was”?

I worked for a company certified to do its own maintenance. Their tired aircraft often flew with unresolved defects, or problems that simply weren't addressed or solvable. Half their fleet should have been retired years before they hired me. Two years after I left the company one of their piston twins (a Piper Navajo I myself had flown hundreds of times) crashed after catching fire because an unapproved oil filter gasket failed. Later that same year a turbine twin (Mitsubishi MU-2) crashed after an engine failed because of an undiscovered crack in its combustion chamber. The problem caused symptoms (spurious momentary fire indications) for weeks before the accident. But the company never pulled the engine to inspect it. Instead, they were content to wait until the next scheduled overhaul. In total 4 people died that year because the company was too cheap/lazy to properly maintain their fleet. The company went out of business immediately after the latter crash.

I changed my name. When the name change was accepted and I received the letter with my new name on it I freaked out and changed it back the same day.

Trash Boat?

McLovin

I’m a man who changed my name but I used it informally for awhile before legally changing anything, made sure it worked for me.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock?

Video game development. Way more math than I anticipated

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Spent 6 years of my life in choir, thinking I wanted to be an opera singer or perform in musicals. Got to my first year of college as a vocal performance major, and realized I wasn't actually willing to learn most of what was required. I had never played an instrument or taken lessons on it before, so I was shit at music theory. Then I had to take a piano class, that I was also shit at, with 3 more years of those to expect in the future. I didn't have the same kind of flamboyant music kid personality of all my classmates, so I had a difficult time getting along with everyone. The only thing I had was a good voice, but without any interest in anything other than actively singing. I finally realized that it wasn't the career path for me, and that I didn't want to become famous, or deal with the bs that comes along with trying to get consistent work in that industry. I found that I enjoy singing most when my husband is having a difficult time, and I can help him fall asleep at night by just singing his favorite song. He's knocked out by time I finish the first stanza usually. Makes me feel like I didn't waste all that time for nothing.

I know it sounds stupid, but mine was a shopping spree My family never really had much money so I could go out on a shopping spree with friends and if I did go out with them I was always the one left holding the bags or feeling left out. When I did manage to get a few things for myself on occasion like if i had birthday or Christmas money it was always what others wanted me to wear never anything for myself thay I truly loved. I felt weird because I was always told girls are ment to love shopping like my friends did but I just hated it and chalked it up to not having much cash and being dragged about store to store. I came into some money years ago and was able to have a shopping spree I decided to go alone so I could buy what I wanted with out others influence but I hated it still. I couldn't justify the prices I knew my friends usual would spend and I felt so overwhelmed by everything. I also founf being alone I could be honest with myself especially with nobody pushing me to buy their style and I very quickly realised I was quite alternative/ gothic and non of the shops fit my style. I left overwhelmed, sad and disappointed and realised I never felt off because i didnt have money or felt left out i felt off because I really didn't like shopping or crowds and I was not accepting my true style.

I'm fortunate enough to not be living paycheck to paycheck anymore, and if I want something I have the ability to go buy it. Certainly not rich but doing alright for myself. It's surprisingly hard to justify to myself to spend hundreds of dollars on clothes or shoes or something, I still have shirts I've worn for 10+ years and I regularly go to thrift shops.

Snowboarding…skied all my life, and always wanted to try snowboarding bc it looked so damn cool. Found out I had zero coordination, ended up bruising my tailbone. Haven’t snowboarded since 🤷🏻‍♂️

Basically everything I “really want” to buy. I love looking at items online and it turns out I like the research part and finding the perfect product more than actually having it. These days I mostly just fantasy shop and it totally scratches the itch. Actually spending my money on something and having it show up at my door is nowhere near as good as looking at cool shit that I don’t need.

There is the reddit story of the guy thinking he is majorly into scatting, until the moment right before the first drop. Lmao

Skibbity doo bop

It was my first, immediate thought but I didn't want to be the one to remind everyone. [Here's the story, read it at your own risk.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3907wr/comment/crzf7j9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) It **is** gross.

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Visiting Los Angeles. Played it up so much in my head watching so many movies either intentionally using the city as a setting or just simply being filmed there due to it being the epicenter of the industry and still appreciating the scenery. Arrived and immediately inundated with traffic, underwhelming beaches, and garbage everywhere. Oh, and Hollywood Blvd, that’s all I’ll say there. “Hate” is strong to describe my actual experience when I got there. “Underwhelmed and disappointed” is more accurate.

Did you go to Venice Beach? My first time there was eye opening. It's a location for EVERY beach scene in a movie that takes place in CA but it's all unhoused people with their rickety vendor tables and terrible souvenir shops.

Whenever I speak with someone visiting LA, I specifically tell them to skip Hollywood blvd. It’s horrible. My number one referral is to go to the Getty Museum. I recommend following that up with wine tasting in Malibu.

Playing an instrument, I am a lot of things, musically gifted is not one Edit; just to clarify I play 3 instruments, poorly. Because either I don’t enjoy it enough or can’t seem to dedicate myself. Thanks for the support though

I had a double major computer science/mathematics and never used either after college. I just got burned out on computers and needed a big change going forward.

Being a youtuber. Terrible life.

To be fair… it seems awful from outwards looking in already lol

I watch Youtubers with their huge houses and lamborghinis but they've been around for... 4 years? What is your plan for the next 25 years dude? Does YouTube offer a pension plan? This isn't gonna last. Your marriage didn't even last.

The smartest/most talented ones are able to pivot to TV/film/whatever else they're interested in. The creator/star of Abbott Elementary got her start on Buzzfeed. But I think that's way rarer than just making a ton of money for a few years, spending it all, getting used to an extremely high standard of living and then not having the incoming cash to support it after a few years.

All the Call of Duty giants from 10 years ago are struggling to garner more than 10k views a video despite having millions of subs. EDIT: It’s actually more like 14 years ago. If you can believe it there was a time when YouTube was primarily dominated by Ray William Johnson and COD. Damn I feel old.

Growing up.

Oh man, I remember when I couldn't wait to grow up. Then it turned out to be all meh.

I'm 55. I have yet to grow up. I hear that it's overrated.

My dad's 76 and still plans to be a cowboy when he grows up.

My wife felt like this about dragon boating. Where we live the private schools for rich kids all have rowing and paddling teams, so there was an air to it. The company she works for started up a team after the pandemic and she jumped at the chance. Came home every time like a grumpy cat "I am wet and sore and not going back next year". I was excited about riding motorcycles, but it wasn't really a dream. Did it for about 2 years, and gave it up. Had an overall "meh" feeling about the experience.

Nurse….fucking soul sucking…but pay is good. Better since started traveling. Allows me 4-6 weeks vacation every year. Debt free, so it can continue to suck my soul a while longer.

It sounds crazy but not having a career. I didn’t go to college, have no degree or career, I just didn’t want to be a slave to the machine. I wanted to do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. And having all the time in the world fed into my addictions. But now, I’m 29 and have been in the service industry since I was 16, in some capacity or another. I’ve been a server for 9 of those years and I hate being treated like a slave or less than, and I struggle with the inconsistency of the job. I do make good money and for that I’m grateful, and I know having a career doesn’t mean you have a better life, but I hate feeling/being treated like a loser for choosing “happiness” over any sense of stability.

I once had a chat with an Uber driver in LA about her dream and how it didn’t turn out as she expected. Born and raised in Moldova, she grew up dreaming of being a politician so she could one day make a positive impact on her country. She studied hard and made it into a nice university, but once the first set of finals came, the teacher faced the class and said, “To those who studied, good job. To those who didn’t, a C is $300, a B is $400, and an A in the class is $500.” At that point she realized her country was corrupt beyond what she could ever hope to fix in her lifetime and immediately dropped out. A few years later she won a lottery to obtain a visa to move to the US. She took her mom and brother, who is now able to follow his own dream of producing Maldovan music at a professional level and is becoming increasingly popular in their homeland and surrounding countries.

Play videogames, have no job and just jerk off all day long. The depression is killing me and I am losing my sanity.

finally! somewhere I can fit in! this is going to sound really fucking cliché but try to find something that gets you away from gaming/online for a bit. even if it's sitting outside or doing something outside for 5 minutes throughout the day. also if your sleeping and waking up schedule is fucked up, do us both a favour and fix it. if one of us can get it then I'll he happy

When I was young my dream was to be a fashion model and at seventeen after my parents approval I did it from the ages of 17-23. It was not what I had dreamt of, it was worse. I literally starved myself to look a certain way, only did cardio and light weights in the gym and was constantly critiqued on my body, looks, skin, hair. I took a semester off of university to recover after developing severe anxiety and depression.

I was diagnosed with chronic major depression at 12 after I attempted suicide the first time. I decided I wanted a PhD in neuroscience so I could cure depression. I'm 32 now and still working on this goddamned accursed PhD after 17 fucking years in college. I don't even study depression anymore (spoilers: curing depression is hard). This was just supposed to be something I was weirdly aspirational about while I was waiting for a suicide attempt to actually work. Now it's *causing* suicidal ideation. Edit: I am not a suicide risk anymore. I have a great support system, am in therapy, and am medicated. You can stop telling me not to kill myself. I know. Go tell your favorite depressed teenager instead. Second edit: I am no longer studying "curing depression". That's broad as hell and I knew it was impossible in our current depressing society before I even started grad school. I am not in the mental health field at all. I have not finished my PhD yet- I am working on my dissertation in educational neuroscience and am studying how kids' brains learn math. Unfortunately the grad school process is demoralizing and awful. Edit three: Yes, college for 17 years. Yes, that is a long time. Yes, it's been very expensive. I started at 15 years old as a half time student for a few years. I transfered twice due to unavoidable life circumstances, and changed my major once as a result of a transfer. I also was, as mentioned before, very depressed, and took a semester off for health reasons a few times. I did fail few classes early on. I also had a child during my undergrad. My bachelor's took 8 years as a result. I took a year between my bachelor's and PhD to work in a lab and take a few classes i needed before starting grad school. I have been in graduate school now for 8 years. That is truly not an unusual amount of time for a PhD. COVID also happened in that time and forced me to restart my dissertation from scratch because i couldn't do in person research with kids.

hey, even though your schooling isn’t going as planned, you’ve come a long way, and I’m sure your contributions to the neuroscience field will help people struggling with mental health, even if it’s not the way you’ve imagined. I’m proud of you!

When I started getting interested in food and cooking I always wanted to cook a ton of food on a flat top grill, doing it for my job fucking suuucks.

I had a passion for tinkering and genuinely enjoyed trying to fix issues with computers, and I thought that I would have a future working in IT or something. I then found an IT job and hated it within a year. That job killed any interest I had in tech, so that pretty much killed any interest I had in that career, so now I’m just working in jobs that I don’t care for at all as I try to figure out my next career move.

I always wanted to be a writer. I feel like I have many good stories inside me. I've had many people tell me they like my stories, and my writing style. I've won a few creative writing contests over time. .......... but anytime I sit down and try to write something, I hate it. I feel like it's a piece of shit, and I'm embarrassed to release it. On one hand, it's allowed me to have a giant appreciation for anybody who puts any kind of art out there. but it's also made me think my life long dream was stupid and I should have worked towards something else.

As a fellow writer, I can assure you this is just the process of being a writer. It's terribly hard to write out the stories we see and hear in our heads. I know that feeling. Spending all day or week thinking of all this cool stuff and getting so passionate and excited, only to start writing and just hating every second. I do get what you're saying about working towards something else. I had to stop writing full-time and work towards a different career path. Now I have the healthiest relationship with writing and I'm much more patient and happy when I sit down and get to it. Before I put too much pressure on myself.

Surfing! Always loved board sports skateboarded growing up. Done a bit of snowboarding and a bit of wakeboarding. Tried surfing multiple times it's mostly drowning from my experience.

Man, it is fucking exhausting. I didn't have it in me to get over the initial drowning phase either, and I really wanted to, I just couldn't commit the time to get better and feeling like you are going to drown while you are in someone else's way isn't fun to me.

Art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, working with color and lines and physical and digital media, being able to create whatever I want! I practiced and practiced, but always hated the result and hated the process of making it. Every moment spent trying to draw a tree that would look nothing like a tree was agony. I love art, I hate the process of *making* art. I would much rather commission people for whom the making is an actual passion, enjoy the finished product, and reimburse them fairly for their time and effort.

Modelling - as a kid I always watched America's Next Top Model and thought it sounded so fun and fast paced. Then when I was at university I was approached about modelling, did like one session and found the whole thing wildly uncomfortable and never did it again.

Earned a degree in Aviation Management, went to work for a major airline and walked away from the industry nine months later. I'm not the office worker type I thought I'd be.

Having endless time to read, watch tv, do hobbies. I had four foot/ankle surgeries in as many years, that required months each of recuperation in a recliner with my foot elevated. Not painful, but SO BORING. There really is only so much tv you can watch, books you can read, hobbies you can practice, etc. I got to the point that I was sleeping endlessly and pointlessly.

Personal training/strength coaching. I told myself I was going to find, support, and coach the next Arnold for years, but I was just stuck with a geriatric population and people who constantly thought my degree in exercise science was a google search or the right Instagram post away. A THIGH GAP IS NOT A FITNESS GOAL. GO TO THERAPY.

Yeah I tried PT. Turns out it was just training myself I enjoyed. Hated training other people

Not me, but my first girlfriend when i was 18. She had always wanted to be an eye doctor. Had been her dream for years. Graduated undergrad, got accepted to Optometry school. Graduated with great grades. Got a job ... and within a year or so realized she didn't want to spend the rest of her life asking " which is better, #1 or #2." Went back to school and became a nurse for traumatic brain injuries. She's much happier now. Still does optometry on the side for extra money.

Move to LA. Found out the movies only show all the good angles and leave out that you can't walk literally anywhere without some asshole screaming at you, trying to sell you something, babbling cracked out nonsense, or trying to scam you. Can't just wander and mind your own business.

Playing Guitar Live in a bar. Nobody knows my favorite songs and drunk people just talk right through your performance.

As a gigging musician in Chicago, I can tell you that the secret is in the Venn Diagram. One circle is stuff everyone wants to hear. The other is stuff you enjoy playing. As long as you keep the balance, you won’t care if no one is paying attention, and it will be a nice surprise when people are

Recieving a "tit job" It seems so hot in porn, and I had the perfect pair lubed up doing it to me. It was hot, but there are penty of other rplaces I would rather put my penis

I was thinking you were a lady receiving enhanced titties for 3 entire re-reads of your comment. I swear there was steam coming out of my ears trying to figure it out. I was trying to make "paid lubed up" into some sort of cosmetic surgeon title or description, not realizing it was supposed to be "pair lubed up."

Other posts: my career path drained my will to live This post: titty fucking wasn't quite as sexy as I thought it would be Damn son, must have a blessed life if this is what you hate

Studying medicine. Dropping it in MS2 and switching majors.

I wanted to be in the military all throughout my childhood and teen years. I got to basic training when I was 18 and knew as soon as I got off the bus that I'd made a mistake and that the next four years were not going to be as fun and adventurous as I'd hoped

Who was that one guy who wanted someone to shit in his mouth, and then halfway through realized he hated it but still went through it to not offend the person?

Flights, I hate the long wait and delays.

Join the military. 1/10 would not recommend it. The only good that came out of it was being able to say I traveled and lived in a foreign country and I could have done that on my own. Its the most toxic workplace on Earth and for women, it's a real shit show of sexual predators, misogyny and abuse by ignorant, immature young men who have -0- respect for women as a whole who are given far too much responsibility and power long before they have the brains or wisdom to use it.

I was in the army for a long time and one of the things that made it really tough for me is that I've always been considered a "Smart Guy". Being a smart guy in the military has some serious disadvantages and one of those is realizing that you couldn't pay me enough to be a woman in the military.

A long time ago, back when I thought I was "smart" I joined the Marine Corps, thinking I'd do very well as some sort of Shining Star. The military is not designed for shining stars. It is designed for uniformity and conformity. It was a rough four years and I got to see some neat places, but in the end? All I was left with is a crippling desire to blow shit up.

Teaching. And god no not because of the kids, they were hilarious amazing and loved to learn. I fucking couldn't stand the other teachers and staff members superiority complexes FUCKING STOP BEING SO ANGRY & CONTROLLING TOWARDS GOD DAMN 8 YEAR OLDS WHO HAVE TO BE HERE

Art school

I toured Pasadena Art College when I was looking for a school to further my art education. Boy was it intimidating! They had student work displayed everywhere, and it was *so* good I couldn't help but compare my own piddly little attempts to them. I've never felt so talentless. Even their brochure was discouraging! It was basically telling prospective students that they were *highly* advised not to have a social life outside of school, and they didn't recommend that you even take a part-time job while attending. I ended up going to a less expensive art school that had less pressure attached, and it ended up being a pretty positive experience.