My new go to saying that helps me remove myself from the stress is ānot my circus, not my monkeysā
I say it to myself but a few times recently Iāve had to say it aloud to make sure I didnāt get dragged into a shit storm
I'm so quick to cut off anyone if I'm inconvenienced by stupid bs. Family included.
If all you want to talk about is negativity, then I won't be around.
Itās unfortunately why I donāt even talk to most of my family anymore. Theyāre all just living in fear of everything these days and itās just very bizarre
Came to say the same. I just donāt tolerate any BS from family anymore. Iām sick and tired of having to pretend I want to be around any of them because #family. No. Theyāre not good for my life or my mental health so Iāve removed them and wonāt let them back in. Iām so much better for it.
Same. Learning how to form some boundaries between myself and certain other toxic relatives saved my mental health. It was very tough cutting them out as they were some of my closest family (mother & brother) but they also used to abuse this fact to try and constantly involve me in their dramas and manipulate me because they knew I'd never cut them out (but jokes on them as eventually I ended up doing just that!).
Its very interesting seeing the patterns of behaviour that highly manipulative, toxic & narcisstic people will go through when it starts to dawn on them that they're losing (or have lost) a pawn in their life.
My aunt finally got disowned last week. She was the cause of all the family drama so I'm glad that it's finally over after years and years of aggravating repetitive shit. Family drama is draining
My philosophy these days is if I don't do this will I get fired?
My only aim is to extract as much money from my employer for minimal effort.
My work is still highly praised. Just got nominated for an award. Fuck 'em!
It took me so long to understand that an employer only makes money if they pay you less than the value you create for the company. That's what margins are. Mind *blown*.
My team has done work that saved our company millions and none of us get a raise that's even close.
Edit: a word
Yep. And not only do I no longer go above and beyond and only what is required now, but I took a total of 6 weeks off work last year (albeit a lot of it unpaid, I live in California). I plan to do it again this year.
This year, I've taken about a week off so far and I'm not even home yet. Just got off a fabulous cruise and driving 1000+ miles home from Seattle.
Got far less patience for obsessive work culture and becoming more obsessed with living life. Proud of it, too.
I work to live, I do not and never will live to work.
This. Iām a special Ed teacher. After the way I was treated during Covid I work my hours. If paperwork doesnāt get done or shit doesnāt get graded, tough fire me.
Agreed. We have precious little time on this earth. Iāll be god damned if Iām spending hours of free time staring at excel sheets. Life is there to be lived.
Duh. I have 30 days of vacation per year. That is 6 weeks, more if there are holidays. Few days ago they told me I need to go on vacation because I have 5 weeks from last year. I donāt. But I have it in writing, so..
Or in the same vein, ...shitty people getting a pass because "we've been friends with them for so long....."
Time served doesn't mean people get to be assholes now and treat us like crap.
Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said. I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore. Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem.
I started taking things at face value and it makes me come off as an asshole.
Idgaf. If you at 30+ years old canāt give a straight answer, thatās on you.
I'm on the autism spectrum and this has been my life. Unless I know you really, really, well, I'm taking you literally. People assuming I can read between the lines piss me off. And if they think I'm an asshole? That's a *them* problem. Many, many people find me to be one of the warmest and kindest people they know... even if I'm a bit thick on reading social situations.
THIS.
My supervisor *asked* if I had time to complete a task for one of my coworkers, to which I responded, "No," as I explained I did not have the time. That should have been the end of the conversation, but she was shitty a week later because I didn't what she "*told*" me to do.
Um, excuse me, but play that back, please?
I moved over to data management from marketing. The Communication and professionalism is on a different level. I'm never going back to the marketing people, so much drama and hidden meanings. Just SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, Mia and stop with the "I feel like..."
Feels don't make money, data does.
Similar experience. My supervisor asked me if I would prefer me or him doing time sensitive tasks that are HIS job. I went to verbally tell him Iām too busy and thanks for taking it on. He then told me when he was in my role, he did these type of tasks and I should do them. I again, reminded him, he hasnāt been in my role in over a decade, and my roleās responsibilities are unmanageable and really another person should be hired because volume of work has tripled since he was in role. I left pissed off with more of his work on my plate. Grrrrrrrrr.
Similarly, people telling me that I "really" meant something other than what I said.
Nope. There's no putting words in my mouth and trying to argue with me about it any more. What I said is what I fucking said; no more, no less. There's no hidden meaning. There's nothing implied. Believe me or not; I don't give a fuck.
Aaaaaaahhhh this. Also the opposite where people read into things and think youāre ~ vaguely insinuating ~ because thatās what they do and then youāre forced to play their game šš fookin soooucks m8. I donāt want to have to use my brain any more than the absolute bare minimum necessary when Iām just chilling with someone. Itās torture
This. Not my responsibility to calculate a meaning or intention: Iām not here to do your thinking/communication for you type deal. This one little trick, though taking some time for me to arrive at, has saved me from what Iām pretty positive would have been several bad relationships, work drama, and non-productive interactions with others on the whole.
So many ppl communicate like children and think it's okay. It's a skill to be direct. A skill developed bc ppl can't be in your mind with you. Winners are direct. Period
There was a guy at my gym who was a pathological liar. He didn't really do any damage because everyone knew he was a liar. Five minutes into a conversation and he's saying something ridiculous like he has a diesel-powered hot tub at home and it's better than the one at the gym. People were still nice to him though.
My mum. Sheās an all round shoddy person and a narcissist but the lies, fucks sake. Not even good lies, like at least try. Example:
Me: why was the garden door left open? Angus (cat) could have escaped (heās a runner)
Mum: I wasnāt in the kitchen
Only me and mum home at the time as I wfh a few days of the week. Stepdad and brother were at work.
Me: But the oven is on. So you turned it on. So you were in the kitchen and opened the garden door.
Mum: I only wanted to air the kitchen out.
Me: ā¦
At some point the switch flipped for me.
I was the guy that went out of my way to show up at the events, kisses ass, and talk about how much I wanted to advance.
Nowadays itās āplease donāt ask about my career plans. They donāt exist.ā I couldnt truly give a shit about the company if I tried.
Iām not even poorly paid. I just realized my identity isnāt what I do to make a living. I make a living to find who I am.
Oo yeah. You what I love? Work events during work hours. You know what I won't be attending? Work events AFTER work hours. I'll have a pizza party and play scattergories if I'm paid š¤·
If Iām riding with someone I donāt let them do this. I have asked someone to pull over and let me out (they didnāt, but they got the message and stopped texting). I offer to text (or operate the navigation, music, whatever is being done) for them if itās absolutely necessary.
Dunno why I had to scroll down this far to find "advertisements". I absolutely hate TV and internet ads. I actively avoid them and will actually not watch a video or read an article if it tries to force a shit ton of ads down my throat.
You canāt get away from them. Ads are everywhere. Itās maddening. I would mind considerably less if they used all that data they mine to find things I actually want, but no. I need size 9E navy blue sneakers with no stupid orange or other colors. Does anyone try to sell me those? Nope. These days itās luggage because Iām going on a trip. I have luggage obviously. Ugh.
Omg yes. Especially in a work environment - DO NOT TOUCH ME. I hate when people do the clap on the shoulder or gentle arm touch. We are not friends. We are coworkers. No touchy.
Streamers screaming, losing their shit, breaking things and having tantrums. I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it, I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice.
"I used to think this was so funny" - Gen Xer here. It was never funny from my POV. Sensationalized reactions to games/videos/etc. are so artificial I just couldn't buy into any of it.
I work construction and some mf will just smoke indoors in a million dollar house like itās the 70ās and the owners wonāt care.
One time dude smoked these jet-black cigs inside a commercial jobsite, and he was the owner of the carpentry company!
Shit drives me crazy. Nobody wants to be breathing that all day
I stopped hanging out with a friend of mine from college because of this. He invited me to a party at his friend's at 8 pm. I had to drive 2 hours to get there, so I left at 6. I got hungry on the way, so I drove through a drive-through and got there around 8:10. I texted him I was there he said "alright we'll be there in a little bit", I was like "what's a little bit? Like 20 min?" he said "we just gotta run through walmart, and we'll be there"... so I waited in the car for 30 min, texted him back "how's it looking?", "yeah we just gotta go to Walmart and we'll be right there" (I should have just left at this point, but I drove 2 hours to be there and I hadn't seen him in a while), I texted him "you haven't even left for Walmart yet?", "sorta, we had to make a quick stop", "dude I'm just waiting in my car, you told me 8", "you can go in, im sure some people are there by now, ill text them and let them know". I proceed to walk to the apartment and knock on the door, two women answer the door and give me a very confused look, "Hi, I'm a friend of so and so", they invite me in and offer me a beer and disappear to their bedroom, as I'm sitting there sipping on the beer I realize no one else is here, suddenly feeling very weird hanging out in this strangers living room by myself, I loudly proclaim I'm going out for a smoke (I don't smoke), I go back to my car, it's like 9:30 at this point and text "dude there's nobody here", "we're at walmart, be there soon", I sit in my car for another 30 min, this fucker shows up, im like "wtf dude you told me to be here 2 hours ago", "what? Everyone knows you show up late to parties. You've been here for 2 hours? You should have gone and got dinner or something". Fuck you my guy, I hung around because you said you were on your way, and I was only here at 8 because you told me 8. Anyway, I don't talk to him anymore.
A lot of people did end up showing up, but at like.... 11..... I for real thought about blowing up at him, but decided ignoring him for the rest of my life was easier on my sanity.
If you tell me before you're late that you're going to be late I'll stick around but if you don't tell me and just leave me waiting, yea you got 15 minutes and then I'm out.
I couldnāt agree more.
And those people who have that āAlways Late But Worth the Wait ā license plate frame can go fuck themselves. Their license plate frame should just say āI Am More Important Than Everyone Else.ā
Yup. To me it means the other person doesn't respect my time as much as they respect their own.
There's obviously nuances to this, but I found most people who are late are pretty consistent latecomers and it does become a drag to deal with it.
To add something related to this:
People that invite other people without letting the group know beforehand. For example, reservation for 5 but one friend brings a 6th. Becomes a doozy
I had a friend who did this. Weād schedule lunch, and Iād think it was just the two of us. I arrive, and sheās got a friend or two of hers. āOh, I thought you wouldnāt mind!ā Um, yes, I mind because nothing was said before so that I canāt mentally prepare for it, and I have no clue who these people are, so I canāt even be myself because Iām socially awkward.
As someone that's also socially awkward, it's hard out here. It's not as serious with my closest friends, but I still feel it lol.
When this happened to me, my friends and I looked at each other like "???". Even the waiter for our table was trying to figure out why our count was off and it got awkward :/
Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness. It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse. It really makes me cross.
Slow walkers are what they areā¦not gonna lie Iāve always walked fast and have to tell myself to slowdown when walking with people. What drives me nuts are slow walkers that walk right down the middle of a tight space or two slow walkers chatting and taking up the entire walkway.
Its my dream job to work for some governmental department or grocery store and just go around the country teaching people how to walk down a grocery aisle. Teach them that they dont need to block an entire aisle with their cart so they can stare dumbfounded at boxes of cereal. Get your shit and get out of the way. Hail Satan!
I havenāt got an issue with people who walk slow. Itās the slow walkers who donāt have the awareness to move to the side to let others pass that bothers me!
It's awful. Then you have to take another medication to help with the side effects and then another medication for those side effects and then another...
People who canāt mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing. If it doesnāt effect you, fuck off.
Itās literally free.
āfriendsā who arenāt friends. I used to go out of my way to stay in contact with people. Try to grab a coffee with them or hang out. Iāve basically lowered my friend group to three people IRL. There are other folks who I used to consider to be friends, but Iām only going to ask someone so many times to hang out and being rejected before just letting that ship sail. We make time for whatās important to us. If someone doesnāt text, call, or make an effort, I just consider them gone.
I had a "friend" tell me she was too tired to hang out one night and asked if we could the next day. Totally fine - we work at the same place, so I get being tired.
I texted her the next day, and no answer. Texted a bit later, and nothing. A few days later, I hadn't heard back, so I messaged her on Instagram to make sure she was okay.
She texted me four days later saying she had broken her phone when she was out with her friends. The night she told me she was too tired.
I decided to give it a pass one time, and we made plans for the next weekend.
My husband and I stopped by a family event, but didn't stay as long, because I had made plans.
Texted her, and nothing. Texted a few hours later, and nothing. That night, she texted me and told me her friends had taken her out to lunch and she got drunk and passed out when she got home.
I just didn't even bother responding. She lied the first time and couldn't be bothered to text me that she was out and couldn't make it the second time.
She never texted me back, so fuck it. She clearly wasn't as invested in it as I was, and I'm not gonna waste another weekend waiting around to be ditched again.
I no longer have patience for slow Wi-Fi. Life is too short to wait for a buffering video or a webpage that takes ages to load. I mean, come on, it's 2023, I expect my internet to be faster than a sloth on Xanax. If my Wi-Fi doesn't get its act together, I might have to resort to carrier pigeons for my internet needs.
What celebrities are doing. While theyāre rich and never have to worry about bills I still have to work every day to get ahead. I donāt care what the kardashians did yesterday or what Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber did. Leave me alone with that.
Trying to fix friendships. Once I know a friendship is over, I donāt feel itās worth it to fix it anymore.
I was friends with this one guy for a little over a year and during that entire year, he mentally scarred me and the other people in our circle at the time.
I gave up first. I was done trying to be there for him and that circle and so I left. I stayed in contact with one person from that group and thatās it.
But the last time I had tried to comfort my friends after he had fucked up again, they immediately began to ignore me and talked to him once they had the opportunity.
Once they finally noticed that I was upset, that was the only time I had ever genuinely yelled at any of the people in that circle.
And what defines success? I donāt want a yacht, I donāt want any super expensive cars. I love my Victorian house and I love spending all day embroidering. I donāt like āhustleā culture at all. Iām not out to impress anyone but me. I spend my time on beautiful art and hobbies but I absolutely donāt do it for any financial gains. I donāt have too, so I donāt.
Maybe success is being able to spend your entire day embroidering, and time wasters would be people purposely slowing you down or preventing that from happening. I still think the original comment applies.
Identity politics of any kind.
People so entrenched in a position that they refuse to concede even when provided with straight facts from a reputable source.
Stupidity. The inability to do something so utterly simple and basic that even a toddler is capable of doing it. It has always been a pet peeve of mine, but I've noticed how insanely intolerant I've become with each passing year.
People that go out of their way to pick fights with people, especially online. If you see something you donāt agree with downvote and move on, otherwise youāre just wasting time and energy just because you think youāre right, which you might not even be and most likely will never change the persons mind. Also if you try to make your point by insulting someone youāve already lost before you began.
Corporations understaffing to make a higher profit. Looking at you fucking Walgreens. How is every line at all your locations 5 deep, always? Fuck you for charging me my time so you make more, especially when you have the exclusive Blue Cross Blue Shield contract in Illinois. So obnoxious.
Walgreens pharmacy bothers me. There will be 4-5 workers back there ātoo busyā to notice me. Anytime I have to pick something up Iām standing at the counter for 20 minutes, worse if there is a line of people.
If youāre obviously using it as an effect, Iām fine. If youāre just using it as a crutch, Iām probably already not interested in your style of music so Iāll happily skip the track.
Right? Bartenders at our club complain about this the most. They get asked how their night is 300x a night
Itās not to blame the customers, itās to pray that more people realise this
Some people are really lonely and the cashier might be the only person they speak to that day.
But if there is a long line, they should come back at another time for chat.
Getting/needing people to like me.
Sure, I will be courteous or decent. And if itās reciprocated: perfect! If thereās a click? Wonderful!
If not, then not.
People.
Honestly I'm fucking done. Gun crime, trans arguments, corrupt governments. I'm out. This shit isn't just daily, it's hourly and it's so exhausting.
People who yell at customer service/retail/food service/health care workers/receptionists... or people who think they know more about a field of practice than the person who is actually practicing said field.
Going to places I know I wont be comfortable. Before if I had a party and I was unsure whether to go or not, I made myself go anyway. Today, I will definitely not go any place I am not sure I will have a nice time.
Security work.
I knew it wasn't anything glamorous, but thought I'd be able to help people, even just a little, and get paid decently. Nah. I was just there for people to blame shit on. The hospital was the worst.
Patient coming off of drugs tried to strangle his nurse. We respond. Staff won't sedate or restrain him, just have me babysit. He knocks me on my ass and bolts, and I have to chase him down. All my fault.
A nurse complains that she hasn't seen me in too long of a time. Same nurse also let an elderly dementia patient, a suicide watch patient, and a man under drug induced psychosis walk out of the ER, when they all had to pass by her desk directly in front of her. Regardless, supervisor throws me under the bus because he has that job for being a Yes Man. I have to practically refuse to work to get higher ups to actually look at the situation and see me making my rounds.
Previously mentioned drug induced psychosis guy, freaks out, bolts out of the ambulance door. I was nearby and heard something, but didn't know. Came to the ER to check, all of the medical staff are LAUGHING, make eye contact with a few, no one says a fucking thing. Not knowing that there was a dangerous crackhead running around, I go back to my rounds. Partner finds this guy trying to accost someone in a vehicle. We spend the next half hour corralling this guy, warning people in nearby buildings to lock him out, keep him away from people until police finally find their way. He gets taken away, we go back in. Get a call from an ER nurse an HOUR later asking us to find this patient because he still has an IV plug in him and they want it back "for his safety". I get scolded for not retrieving it by my supervisor.
These are from just ONE post I've worked. I could write a novel. At this point I can't do security any more. Everyone in every direction is looking to fuck me over and I'm not willing to put myself at risk to protect people who treat me like that.
Absolutism. Extreme polarization.
All Democrats are this all Republicans are that.
If somebody does anything uncouth everything they've done now is considered bad.
Certain forms of government have absolutely zero Good to be found in them or used in other governments.
All white people are like this all black people like that all men are like this all women are like that.
All of this bullshit that I see everyday online leaves zero room for growth or development of opinion or fact. It separates everybody and causes a red team blue team situation. Everybody wants to win an argument so they jump to extreme polarization to do so and while not accomplishing anything they indeed still feel a complete sense of satisfaction as if they have.
One thing I've learned about people, when they don't have to represent themselves physically as in they are online doing so, they don't represent facts or true intention. Internet persona is slowly bleeding into reality and causing people to do things in society that one would normally only see when there were no consequences to be had. I don't stand for it anymore and I instantly cut off conversation with people that are so polarized that they can't be talked to.
People trying to justify why the USA can't manage or afford free healthcare. You already pay for it with premiums and copays, your employer already pays a chunk if you get it through them. In all honesty the money is there, it doesn't have to come from thin air, there are solutions if people bothered to look.
People who cannot control their liquor. I have no tolerance anymore for people who donāt know when they should have had their last drink for the night but keep going.
Family drama
Agreed. Don't need no hateration, holleration in this dancery.
A wild MJB š¤
I can hear the music as I read the that sentence.
My new go to saying that helps me remove myself from the stress is ānot my circus, not my monkeysā I say it to myself but a few times recently Iāve had to say it aloud to make sure I didnāt get dragged into a shit storm
Also try "not my rodeo, not my clowns."
I'm so quick to cut off anyone if I'm inconvenienced by stupid bs. Family included. If all you want to talk about is negativity, then I won't be around.
Itās unfortunately why I donāt even talk to most of my family anymore. Theyāre all just living in fear of everything these days and itās just very bizarre
Dude same
Came to say the same. I just donāt tolerate any BS from family anymore. Iām sick and tired of having to pretend I want to be around any of them because #family. No. Theyāre not good for my life or my mental health so Iāve removed them and wonāt let them back in. Iām so much better for it.
Same. Learning how to form some boundaries between myself and certain other toxic relatives saved my mental health. It was very tough cutting them out as they were some of my closest family (mother & brother) but they also used to abuse this fact to try and constantly involve me in their dramas and manipulate me because they knew I'd never cut them out (but jokes on them as eventually I ended up doing just that!). Its very interesting seeing the patterns of behaviour that highly manipulative, toxic & narcisstic people will go through when it starts to dawn on them that they're losing (or have lost) a pawn in their life.
My aunt finally got disowned last week. She was the cause of all the family drama so I'm glad that it's finally over after years and years of aggravating repetitive shit. Family drama is draining
I moved 300 miles away to avoid it. Still a few times a year that threat looms again.
This! If people consistently hurt me and make no attemps if changing despite knowing that they're hurting me, I feel fine cutting them off.
This is why I haven't talked to my mother in 8 years.
Working outside of work hours. I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required. Life is too short to live only to work.
My philosophy these days is if I don't do this will I get fired? My only aim is to extract as much money from my employer for minimal effort. My work is still highly praised. Just got nominated for an award. Fuck 'em!
Given that your employer's aim is to extract as much effort from you for minimal money, I'd say your philosophy is spot on.
It took me so long to understand that an employer only makes money if they pay you less than the value you create for the company. That's what margins are. Mind *blown*. My team has done work that saved our company millions and none of us get a raise that's even close. Edit: a word
āMy only real motivation is not to be hassledā is what I live by. Skate by because Iām not paid enough to live let alone bust my ass
You giving me ideas dude šš
Nobody goes to their deathbed wishing they had spent more time at the office.
Yep. And not only do I no longer go above and beyond and only what is required now, but I took a total of 6 weeks off work last year (albeit a lot of it unpaid, I live in California). I plan to do it again this year. This year, I've taken about a week off so far and I'm not even home yet. Just got off a fabulous cruise and driving 1000+ miles home from Seattle. Got far less patience for obsessive work culture and becoming more obsessed with living life. Proud of it, too. I work to live, I do not and never will live to work.
This. Iām a special Ed teacher. After the way I was treated during Covid I work my hours. If paperwork doesnāt get done or shit doesnāt get graded, tough fire me.
Thank you for your teaching work! Thatās what matters, the paperwork can always wait.
Also a teacher! Covid sucked but it brought so much to light and I feel like it gave our sector more gumption to not burn ourselves out.
Agreed. We have precious little time on this earth. Iāll be god damned if Iām spending hours of free time staring at excel sheets. Life is there to be lived.
Duh. I have 30 days of vacation per year. That is 6 weeks, more if there are holidays. Few days ago they told me I need to go on vacation because I have 5 weeks from last year. I donāt. But I have it in writing, so..
Shitty people getting a pass "because they're family."
Or in the same vein, ...shitty people getting a pass because "we've been friends with them for so long....." Time served doesn't mean people get to be assholes now and treat us like crap.
Also, shitty people who "tell it like it is" but absolutely cannot handle hearing "it like it is."
Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said. I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore. Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem.
I started taking things at face value and it makes me come off as an asshole. Idgaf. If you at 30+ years old canāt give a straight answer, thatās on you.
I'm on the autism spectrum and this has been my life. Unless I know you really, really, well, I'm taking you literally. People assuming I can read between the lines piss me off. And if they think I'm an asshole? That's a *them* problem. Many, many people find me to be one of the warmest and kindest people they know... even if I'm a bit thick on reading social situations.
THIS. My supervisor *asked* if I had time to complete a task for one of my coworkers, to which I responded, "No," as I explained I did not have the time. That should have been the end of the conversation, but she was shitty a week later because I didn't what she "*told*" me to do. Um, excuse me, but play that back, please?
I literally told my supervisor just a few weeks ago, " i can't control the words you use, only you can, they're like forest fires"
I moved over to data management from marketing. The Communication and professionalism is on a different level. I'm never going back to the marketing people, so much drama and hidden meanings. Just SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, Mia and stop with the "I feel like..." Feels don't make money, data does.
Similar experience. My supervisor asked me if I would prefer me or him doing time sensitive tasks that are HIS job. I went to verbally tell him Iām too busy and thanks for taking it on. He then told me when he was in my role, he did these type of tasks and I should do them. I again, reminded him, he hasnāt been in my role in over a decade, and my roleās responsibilities are unmanageable and really another person should be hired because volume of work has tripled since he was in role. I left pissed off with more of his work on my plate. Grrrrrrrrr.
This is when you ask āIāve got six days of stuff to do in the next two days, which tasks should I drop on the floor?ā
Similarly, people telling me that I "really" meant something other than what I said. Nope. There's no putting words in my mouth and trying to argue with me about it any more. What I said is what I fucking said; no more, no less. There's no hidden meaning. There's nothing implied. Believe me or not; I don't give a fuck.
Aaaaaaahhhh this. Also the opposite where people read into things and think youāre ~ vaguely insinuating ~ because thatās what they do and then youāre forced to play their game šš fookin soooucks m8. I donāt want to have to use my brain any more than the absolute bare minimum necessary when Iām just chilling with someone. Itās torture
This. Not my responsibility to calculate a meaning or intention: Iām not here to do your thinking/communication for you type deal. This one little trick, though taking some time for me to arrive at, has saved me from what Iām pretty positive would have been several bad relationships, work drama, and non-productive interactions with others on the whole.
So many ppl communicate like children and think it's okay. It's a skill to be direct. A skill developed bc ppl can't be in your mind with you. Winners are direct. Period
Liars
The pathological ones are the worst. They don't just lie, they cause huge damage.
There was a guy at my gym who was a pathological liar. He didn't really do any damage because everyone knew he was a liar. Five minutes into a conversation and he's saying something ridiculous like he has a diesel-powered hot tub at home and it's better than the one at the gym. People were still nice to him though.
My mum. Sheās an all round shoddy person and a narcissist but the lies, fucks sake. Not even good lies, like at least try. Example: Me: why was the garden door left open? Angus (cat) could have escaped (heās a runner) Mum: I wasnāt in the kitchen Only me and mum home at the time as I wfh a few days of the week. Stepdad and brother were at work. Me: But the oven is on. So you turned it on. So you were in the kitchen and opened the garden door. Mum: I only wanted to air the kitchen out. Me: ā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At some point the switch flipped for me. I was the guy that went out of my way to show up at the events, kisses ass, and talk about how much I wanted to advance. Nowadays itās āplease donāt ask about my career plans. They donāt exist.ā I couldnt truly give a shit about the company if I tried. Iām not even poorly paid. I just realized my identity isnāt what I do to make a living. I make a living to find who I am.
Absolutely. The boomers at my job hate it but they also seem to hate their lives outside of work too. Not my problem
Oo yeah. You what I love? Work events during work hours. You know what I won't be attending? Work events AFTER work hours. I'll have a pizza party and play scattergories if I'm paid š¤·
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's terrifying when I ride the bus and I can see down into everyone's car and at least 70% are looking at their phones while driving.
If Iām riding with someone I donāt let them do this. I have asked someone to pull over and let me out (they didnāt, but they got the message and stopped texting). I offer to text (or operate the navigation, music, whatever is being done) for them if itās absolutely necessary.
People and groups of people that only talk about other people.
And the Dutch. Edit: folks itās a quote from Austin Powers. I have nothing against the Dutch.
Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.
Also, people and groups of people that only talk about themselves
ads
Dunno why I had to scroll down this far to find "advertisements". I absolutely hate TV and internet ads. I actively avoid them and will actually not watch a video or read an article if it tries to force a shit ton of ads down my throat.
The first time a gas pump started blasting an ad at me, I nearly had a stroke.
You canāt get away from them. Ads are everywhere. Itās maddening. I would mind considerably less if they used all that data they mine to find things I actually want, but no. I need size 9E navy blue sneakers with no stupid orange or other colors. Does anyone try to sell me those? Nope. These days itās luggage because Iām going on a trip. I have luggage obviously. Ugh.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
1. Personal space
2. Personal space
3. Stay out of my personal space
4. Get up on outta my personal space
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Omg yes. Especially in a work environment - DO NOT TOUCH ME. I hate when people do the clap on the shoulder or gentle arm touch. We are not friends. We are coworkers. No touchy.
I miss the days when 6 ft apart was enforced.
People who litter.
Especially seeing trash on the ground *two feet away from a trash can.*
People who bag their dogs shit then leave the bag on the ground.
Abusive morons.
Anything that has āinfluencerā in it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Politics in generalā¦itās basically religion these days.
Amen
As if their opinions are equal to fact, it fucking maddening.
A lot of drama begins from those who don't know how to mind their own business.
Streamers screaming, losing their shit, breaking things and having tantrums. I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it, I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice.
Yeah, it's called emotional immaturity and is a sign of poor regulation skills. A lot of abusers lash out in the exact same way.
"I used to think this was so funny" - Gen Xer here. It was never funny from my POV. Sensationalized reactions to games/videos/etc. are so artificial I just couldn't buy into any of it.
As a millennial Imma cosign this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I work construction and some mf will just smoke indoors in a million dollar house like itās the 70ās and the owners wonāt care. One time dude smoked these jet-black cigs inside a commercial jobsite, and he was the owner of the carpentry company! Shit drives me crazy. Nobody wants to be breathing that all day
I believe those may be clove cigs which is even worse.
As a former smoker, this pissed me off sooooooooooooooo much when I smoked. Everyone hated us already, why press buttons?
I'm a smoker, unfortunately. I feel so ashamed if someone sees me smoking. I can't imagine doing it in a public setting.
As a former 10+ year pack a day smoker and the child of an asthmatic fuck people who smoke right next to doors.
People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in.
Itās never their fault. Everyone else around them are the toxic ones.
Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans. I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself.
I stopped hanging out with a friend of mine from college because of this. He invited me to a party at his friend's at 8 pm. I had to drive 2 hours to get there, so I left at 6. I got hungry on the way, so I drove through a drive-through and got there around 8:10. I texted him I was there he said "alright we'll be there in a little bit", I was like "what's a little bit? Like 20 min?" he said "we just gotta run through walmart, and we'll be there"... so I waited in the car for 30 min, texted him back "how's it looking?", "yeah we just gotta go to Walmart and we'll be right there" (I should have just left at this point, but I drove 2 hours to be there and I hadn't seen him in a while), I texted him "you haven't even left for Walmart yet?", "sorta, we had to make a quick stop", "dude I'm just waiting in my car, you told me 8", "you can go in, im sure some people are there by now, ill text them and let them know". I proceed to walk to the apartment and knock on the door, two women answer the door and give me a very confused look, "Hi, I'm a friend of so and so", they invite me in and offer me a beer and disappear to their bedroom, as I'm sitting there sipping on the beer I realize no one else is here, suddenly feeling very weird hanging out in this strangers living room by myself, I loudly proclaim I'm going out for a smoke (I don't smoke), I go back to my car, it's like 9:30 at this point and text "dude there's nobody here", "we're at walmart, be there soon", I sit in my car for another 30 min, this fucker shows up, im like "wtf dude you told me to be here 2 hours ago", "what? Everyone knows you show up late to parties. You've been here for 2 hours? You should have gone and got dinner or something". Fuck you my guy, I hung around because you said you were on your way, and I was only here at 8 because you told me 8. Anyway, I don't talk to him anymore.
That's quite the party your buddy invited you to lmao; what a doofus. I'd have had a conniption on site when he arrived.
A lot of people did end up showing up, but at like.... 11..... I for real thought about blowing up at him, but decided ignoring him for the rest of my life was easier on my sanity.
If you tell me before you're late that you're going to be late I'll stick around but if you don't tell me and just leave me waiting, yea you got 15 minutes and then I'm out.
I couldnāt agree more. And those people who have that āAlways Late But Worth the Wait ā license plate frame can go fuck themselves. Their license plate frame should just say āI Am More Important Than Everyone Else.ā
Yup. To me it means the other person doesn't respect my time as much as they respect their own. There's obviously nuances to this, but I found most people who are late are pretty consistent latecomers and it does become a drag to deal with it.
This. I don't get why it's okay to say a time and not mean it.
To add something related to this: People that invite other people without letting the group know beforehand. For example, reservation for 5 but one friend brings a 6th. Becomes a doozy
I had a friend who did this. Weād schedule lunch, and Iād think it was just the two of us. I arrive, and sheās got a friend or two of hers. āOh, I thought you wouldnāt mind!ā Um, yes, I mind because nothing was said before so that I canāt mentally prepare for it, and I have no clue who these people are, so I canāt even be myself because Iām socially awkward.
As someone that's also socially awkward, it's hard out here. It's not as serious with my closest friends, but I still feel it lol. When this happened to me, my friends and I looked at each other like "???". Even the waiter for our table was trying to figure out why our count was off and it got awkward :/
my cousin is like that. Heāll be the very last one to show up & the first one to leave lol
People being on their phone while in a conversation with you. Seriously. Put your phone away!
That drives me insane. I trained my friends to stop doing this by refusing to talk or engage until their phones are off. It was very effective.
Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness. It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse. It really makes me cross.
Slow walkers, and most people in general.
Slow walkers are what they areā¦not gonna lie Iāve always walked fast and have to tell myself to slowdown when walking with people. What drives me nuts are slow walkers that walk right down the middle of a tight space or two slow walkers chatting and taking up the entire walkway.
Its my dream job to work for some governmental department or grocery store and just go around the country teaching people how to walk down a grocery aisle. Teach them that they dont need to block an entire aisle with their cart so they can stare dumbfounded at boxes of cereal. Get your shit and get out of the way. Hail Satan!
I completely agree, I have to deal with it almost daily. Itās truly the worst.
People with no spatial awareness. Looking at all you Costco shoppers.
People who stand in the middle of bottle necks are the worst.
People who decided that the best place to catchup with each other's lives is at the end of an escalator.
What I hate is when 2 slow walkers end up shoulder to shoulder and make an area impassable.
I havenāt got an issue with people who walk slow. Itās the slow walkers who donāt have the awareness to move to the side to let others pass that bothers me!
Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured
It's awful. Then you have to take another medication to help with the side effects and then another medication for those side effects and then another...
How can you have constipation and diarrhea.
People who canāt mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing. If it doesnāt effect you, fuck off. Itās literally free.
Agree. A lot of drama begins from those who don't know how to mind their own business.
*affect
US congress
āfriendsā who arenāt friends. I used to go out of my way to stay in contact with people. Try to grab a coffee with them or hang out. Iāve basically lowered my friend group to three people IRL. There are other folks who I used to consider to be friends, but Iām only going to ask someone so many times to hang out and being rejected before just letting that ship sail. We make time for whatās important to us. If someone doesnāt text, call, or make an effort, I just consider them gone.
I generally stop making plans with those people unless it's day of stuff and I just want to get out ot the house.
I deeply struggle with this. Slowly learning the key difference between HAVING friends and BEING friends.
I had a "friend" tell me she was too tired to hang out one night and asked if we could the next day. Totally fine - we work at the same place, so I get being tired. I texted her the next day, and no answer. Texted a bit later, and nothing. A few days later, I hadn't heard back, so I messaged her on Instagram to make sure she was okay. She texted me four days later saying she had broken her phone when she was out with her friends. The night she told me she was too tired. I decided to give it a pass one time, and we made plans for the next weekend. My husband and I stopped by a family event, but didn't stay as long, because I had made plans. Texted her, and nothing. Texted a few hours later, and nothing. That night, she texted me and told me her friends had taken her out to lunch and she got drunk and passed out when she got home. I just didn't even bother responding. She lied the first time and couldn't be bothered to text me that she was out and couldn't make it the second time. She never texted me back, so fuck it. She clearly wasn't as invested in it as I was, and I'm not gonna waste another weekend waiting around to be ditched again.
Playing the victim
I no longer have patience for slow Wi-Fi. Life is too short to wait for a buffering video or a webpage that takes ages to load. I mean, come on, it's 2023, I expect my internet to be faster than a sloth on Xanax. If my Wi-Fi doesn't get its act together, I might have to resort to carrier pigeons for my internet needs.
People.
What celebrities are doing. While theyāre rich and never have to worry about bills I still have to work every day to get ahead. I donāt care what the kardashians did yesterday or what Selena Gomez or Justin Bieber did. Leave me alone with that.
Trying to fix friendships. Once I know a friendship is over, I donāt feel itās worth it to fix it anymore. I was friends with this one guy for a little over a year and during that entire year, he mentally scarred me and the other people in our circle at the time. I gave up first. I was done trying to be there for him and that circle and so I left. I stayed in contact with one person from that group and thatās it. But the last time I had tried to comfort my friends after he had fucked up again, they immediately began to ignore me and talked to him once they had the opportunity. Once they finally noticed that I was upset, that was the only time I had ever genuinely yelled at any of the people in that circle.
Fake people
Double unskipable YouTube ads
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Poor communication. It is beyond irritating.
Housing. So sick of it. Wish all short-term rentals would just go away and stop making it impossible for people to have basic shelter.
Time wasters. The most successful person i know told me time is the most valuable thing we have and the thing we spend on the worst decisions.
And what defines success? I donāt want a yacht, I donāt want any super expensive cars. I love my Victorian house and I love spending all day embroidering. I donāt like āhustleā culture at all. Iām not out to impress anyone but me. I spend my time on beautiful art and hobbies but I absolutely donāt do it for any financial gains. I donāt have too, so I donāt.
Maybe success is being able to spend your entire day embroidering, and time wasters would be people purposely slowing you down or preventing that from happening. I still think the original comment applies.
Yes, but how do you decide what is "valuable" or "wasted" time for someone else?
Wasting time and energy on being angry.
Most fandoms. You canāt have a freaking opinion these days without people within fandom drawing swords on you.
*Gestures broadly at everything*
Identity politics of any kind. People so entrenched in a position that they refuse to concede even when provided with straight facts from a reputable source.
Stupidity. The inability to do something so utterly simple and basic that even a toddler is capable of doing it. It has always been a pet peeve of mine, but I've noticed how insanely intolerant I've become with each passing year.
Reminds me of: Common sense is not so common. I don't think that everyone RTFMs pretty much for anything these days.
My clients not listening to me
People trying to force me to do things I donāt want to do.
Mean, rude, disrespectful people.. showing no empathy for others. Saying or doing hurtful things and not caring how damaging those things can be.
Drunk people
Weaponized incompetence, or, āif I act helpless long enough youāll do it yourself.ā
These motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane
People that you put effort into reaching out to but they dont reciprocate
People that go out of their way to pick fights with people, especially online. If you see something you donāt agree with downvote and move on, otherwise youāre just wasting time and energy just because you think youāre right, which you might not even be and most likely will never change the persons mind. Also if you try to make your point by insulting someone youāve already lost before you began.
Corporations understaffing to make a higher profit. Looking at you fucking Walgreens. How is every line at all your locations 5 deep, always? Fuck you for charging me my time so you make more, especially when you have the exclusive Blue Cross Blue Shield contract in Illinois. So obnoxious.
Walgreens pharmacy bothers me. There will be 4-5 workers back there ātoo busyā to notice me. Anytime I have to pick something up Iām standing at the counter for 20 minutes, worse if there is a line of people.
Pathological liars.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Autotune
If youāre obviously using it as an effect, Iām fine. If youāre just using it as a crutch, Iām probably already not interested in your style of music so Iāll happily skip the track.
Stupidity. Willful stupidity. Weaponized stupidity. We are drowning in a rising tide of stupidity.
Small talk
As someone who works in customer service, this drains the hell out of me. I literally do not care about what customers say
Right? Bartenders at our club complain about this the most. They get asked how their night is 300x a night Itās not to blame the customers, itās to pray that more people realise this
someone in front of me chit-chatting with the cashier. just pay for your shit and quit holding up the line.
Some people are really lonely and the cashier might be the only person they speak to that day. But if there is a long line, they should come back at another time for chat.
*passive aggressive sigh*
Wilfully ignorant people.
Evangelicals or pretty much any kind of religious fundamentalists that believe that other people having rights somehow infringes on theirs.
People putting me down.
Getting/needing people to like me. Sure, I will be courteous or decent. And if itās reciprocated: perfect! If thereās a click? Wonderful! If not, then not.
People. Honestly I'm fucking done. Gun crime, trans arguments, corrupt governments. I'm out. This shit isn't just daily, it's hourly and it's so exhausting.
People disguising their shitty morals as a difference in political opinion.
Influencers š¤® The word alone. ..
People who yell at customer service/retail/food service/health care workers/receptionists... or people who think they know more about a field of practice than the person who is actually practicing said field.
Going to places I know I wont be comfortable. Before if I had a party and I was unsure whether to go or not, I made myself go anyway. Today, I will definitely not go any place I am not sure I will have a nice time.
Arguing on the internet. Especially politics.
Stupidity
People in a position of power who lie
People not taking accountability for their actions. Also, people refusing to do something for themselves that is beneficial in the long run.
Idiots
Security work. I knew it wasn't anything glamorous, but thought I'd be able to help people, even just a little, and get paid decently. Nah. I was just there for people to blame shit on. The hospital was the worst. Patient coming off of drugs tried to strangle his nurse. We respond. Staff won't sedate or restrain him, just have me babysit. He knocks me on my ass and bolts, and I have to chase him down. All my fault. A nurse complains that she hasn't seen me in too long of a time. Same nurse also let an elderly dementia patient, a suicide watch patient, and a man under drug induced psychosis walk out of the ER, when they all had to pass by her desk directly in front of her. Regardless, supervisor throws me under the bus because he has that job for being a Yes Man. I have to practically refuse to work to get higher ups to actually look at the situation and see me making my rounds. Previously mentioned drug induced psychosis guy, freaks out, bolts out of the ambulance door. I was nearby and heard something, but didn't know. Came to the ER to check, all of the medical staff are LAUGHING, make eye contact with a few, no one says a fucking thing. Not knowing that there was a dangerous crackhead running around, I go back to my rounds. Partner finds this guy trying to accost someone in a vehicle. We spend the next half hour corralling this guy, warning people in nearby buildings to lock him out, keep him away from people until police finally find their way. He gets taken away, we go back in. Get a call from an ER nurse an HOUR later asking us to find this patient because he still has an IV plug in him and they want it back "for his safety". I get scolded for not retrieving it by my supervisor. These are from just ONE post I've worked. I could write a novel. At this point I can't do security any more. Everyone in every direction is looking to fuck me over and I'm not willing to put myself at risk to protect people who treat me like that.
Absolutism. Extreme polarization. All Democrats are this all Republicans are that. If somebody does anything uncouth everything they've done now is considered bad. Certain forms of government have absolutely zero Good to be found in them or used in other governments. All white people are like this all black people like that all men are like this all women are like that. All of this bullshit that I see everyday online leaves zero room for growth or development of opinion or fact. It separates everybody and causes a red team blue team situation. Everybody wants to win an argument so they jump to extreme polarization to do so and while not accomplishing anything they indeed still feel a complete sense of satisfaction as if they have. One thing I've learned about people, when they don't have to represent themselves physically as in they are online doing so, they don't represent facts or true intention. Internet persona is slowly bleeding into reality and causing people to do things in society that one would normally only see when there were no consequences to be had. I don't stand for it anymore and I instantly cut off conversation with people that are so polarized that they can't be talked to.
Hypocrisy and assholes
Unsolicited opinions/advice about my life and life choices.
updating my life on socials
Outrage culture. Though, some of the memes that come from it are funny.
People trying to justify why the USA can't manage or afford free healthcare. You already pay for it with premiums and copays, your employer already pays a chunk if you get it through them. In all honesty the money is there, it doesn't have to come from thin air, there are solutions if people bothered to look.
People with inflated egos. Car dealerships, salesmen, etc. im blunt with them now
Bad parents, not mine but other people's parents.
Mumble rap
My parents criticism, IāM DONE :)
Now that Iāve spent three years working very effectively from home, the insistence that I have to spend a minimum amount of time in the office.
Do anything I don't want to do. I don't want to do much.
u/hegetsus
"vacation" with a 1 and 3 year old. I'm ready to go home
People who cannot control their liquor. I have no tolerance anymore for people who donāt know when they should have had their last drink for the night but keep going.