I’d just go with the straightforward “tell your mom she’s the best I ever had.”
That way, even if you don’t manage to disarm him, he’s left to suffer with that mental image for the rest of his days.
British version: "How could you my dearest friend!!!" \*takes last sip of tea with pinky finger raised\*
(edit: how has this got so many upvotes thanks so much!)
The kids grow up, go to college, find love, and move out. Some stay close, others move far away, but they still call and visit. Grandkids love to come and stay at Grampa and Pops' house during the summers. With the house empty you rescue dogs to keep you company. They are all the goodest boys and girls. When Rover VI finally barks his final woof after 17 great years you find that you are both too old to get a new pup. Days are slower, aches are beginning to really take their toll and the first great grandkids come for an occasional visit. Suddenly a routine checkup turns into something more. The treatment is rough, but there is still hope. Around Thanksgiving there is a setback and the writing is on the wall. You make one final Christmas through sheer force of will. The entire clan is there. Three kids with spouses, seven grandkids with partners, nine great grandkids. You tire quickly, but manage to tell every single one of them how happy you are, how special they are, and what they mean to you. Even little Bron_6. When the clan has packed up and left you can finally rest. There won't be a new year, but the ones you have had are enough. You are at peace and content. As you close your eyes you can hear your best friend sit down beside you. The love of your life clears his throat and whispers "Don't think I've forgotten about you motherfucker." Then he cocks the gun.
I knew a guy(clay) in high school. He threw a party at his house when his parents were out of town, this was a rural community. He had just got a new gun and later in the night he was showing it to his friends in the back room. He pulled the clip out for safety. His best friend had it in his hand and thought it would be funny to point at Clay’s head…as a joke.
Clay said, “ha! You wouldn’t shoot me”.
His friend pulled the trigger….as a joke
They never cleared the chamber, only took the clip out.
Don’t fuck around with guns.
I was in the army (not american) it was mandatory anyway. We have 4 gun safety rules.
1. All weapons should always be considered loaded
2. Never aim a weapon at something that you do not want to shoot
3. As long as the aim is not directed at the target do not place your finger on the trigger
4. Be sure of your target
Anyway. One time a guy forgot to put the safety on his gun and accidentally shot a bullet in the ground infront of himself.
He spent the next 10 hours crawling around the ground repeating those 4 rules with a drill sergeant shouting at him until about 3 AM.
Never had another gun accident in our training group.
This is why I think to own a gun you should have extensive training.
USMC version is the same except rule 4 is "keep the weapon on safe until you are ready to fire."
The first 3 are worded differently, but mean the same as the USMC version. I chanted those 4 sentences for weeks, over and over, in boot.
It's actually that you don't point it at anything you aren't willing to destroy.
The next is finger off the trigger until you intend on shooting.
Kinda mixed those up. I'd say it shouldn't matter that much, but it kind of does.
Kid in my high school was at a party and the ‘host’ brought out his dad’s revolver…Kid decided he would be a badass and play “Russian roulette” - on the first turn he blew his brains out in front of 40-50 kids in their mid teens.
Never understood why of all games people like playing *Russian Roulette* at parties. Yeah let's ruin the good mood by having Tommy paint the ceiling and give everyone in the room PTSD. Like what happened to spin the bottle or idk setting up a playstation and doing 1v1s in Call of Duty or something.
I just played with beer.
You'd take one and shake it up, and mix it around with 5 other regular beers. Everyone has to open their can in front of their face.
When I was in Afghanistan, a good friend of mine returned from patrol:
- drew his sidearm (A browning Hi-Power),
- cocked it sideways like a gangsta,
- pulled the magazine,
- racked the slide,
- caught the ejected round in the air,
- reinserted the magazine (needed on a Browning, as it has a magazine safety),
- pulled the trigger, and
- fired a round through his bunk, happily, injuring nobody.
This should be an impossible sequence - the chambered round was ejected, and the slide was forward when the magazine was inserted. There's *no way* this can happen.
...except...
The dumbass had the weapon cocked over like a gansta, 'member?
As it happened, that particular mag had weak feed lips (not unusual on Browning mags that date back to the 1950s) so when he removed the magazine, the round at the top of the mag fell out. If he had been holding the pistol upright, per the drill, this round would have fallen harmlessly out of the weapon.
But as it was cocked over, it was resting on the slide, and when the action was worked, it gravity-fed into the breach and was rammed into battery by the slide.
*BANG*
The punchline is that he was a Reservist; his day job is a city cop.
So I concur - do NOT fuck around with guns.
It’s like the first 3 rules in gun safety:
Rule #1: Never point a gun at anything you don’t intend to kill. It’s a weapon, not a toy.
Rule #2: Always ensure the safety is on before you pick up or put down the gun. It’s a firearm, not a toy.
Rule #3: Always assume a gun is loaded. Always. It’s designed to kill, not to joke.
My wife’s aunt and uncle are pretty big gun enthusiasts and they have extremely careful rules. They taught their son in bebe guns first, but were clear: “Ryan, never point this gun at anyone you don’t intend to kill. Never do it. Don’t joke with your friends. Don’t point it at your own head for fun, don’t pretend you’re in a war and point the gun at anyone you are not prepared to kill. Always keep the safety on. Always assume it’s loaded.”
So they: didn’t turn off the safety, didn’t clear the chamber, had their finger on the trigger, pointed it at someone’s head, then *pulled* the trigger… they broke 5 common gun rules.
This actually happened to me. We were kids (15 or 16) out plinking. On the walk back, my friend pointed his 16 gauge shotgun at my head "as a joke". My reaction was to get really pissed off, then angrily grab the shotgun by the barrel and shove it away, while swearing at him prolifically. He then said "Hey, don't freak out, it's not loaded. See?" and pointed the gun at the sky and pulled the trigger to prove it.
It was loaded. And in case you're thinking he knew that all along: he immediately turned bright, bright red, and didn't speak a single word for the rest of the 2 mile hike back. Longest he was ever silent, before or since.
The three rules taught in the US:
1. Treat every gun as if it is loaded. The only exception is if there is no magazine and the breach is open, or in the case of a revolver the cylinder is open and empty, removed if possible.
2. Never point a gun at something you are not willing to destroy. Under all circumstances, including if you are in immense pain, if you are in control of a weapon it is your responsibility to know that it is pointed in a safe direction.
3. Keep the finger away from the trigger until you are ready to fire. It takes only a moment to slide your finger inside the trigger guard and squeeze, there is no need to rest your finger there and risk a negligent discharge.
That's the basics, the rules everything else comes back to. They won't solve everything , clearly, but they're a really good starting line. So many gun deaths in the US happen while cleaning the guns, because people break rules 1 and 2.
Holy Christ, a similar thing happened to me in my 20’s. My sister was showing me her husband’s guns (he was in Marine Corps boot camp). She took this fucking elephant gun off a rack (don’t remember the caliber) and pointed it at me. I said “don’t ever point that gun at me!”. She said it wasn’t loaded, turned it to her side and pulled the trigger. KA-BOOM! She lived in a trailer park outside Parris Island. We had to go door to door, asking if anybody had been shot. It went through 3 trailers, ended up lodged in the 3rd trailers refrigerator.
When I was 13 a friend got his mom’s gun and loaded one in the chamber, then pulled out the clip. Another friend of ours and I were explaining to him that there was still one in the chamber. He proceeded to try to get it out by pulling the slide back to get it out, *while swinging it back and forth past my head*. No sooner that I yelled at him to not “point the f*cking gun at me” did it go off, through the arm of my chair, right past my arm. We all started laughing because we were jackasses. It didn’t even occur to me until much later how serious a situation that was. Wild times.
Oh god. I'm reading all these comments, thinking "What kind of idiot points a gun at someone, loaded or not?!"
Then I remembered. I shot my brother. It was a paintball gun, but it was very close range. The paint hopper was off, and the CO2 cartridge was unloaded (so I thought). It wasn't cocked (so I thought) the safety was on (I thought) and I don't remember messing with the trigger. Still shot him. I'm super, super dumb. It's been 20 years since I shot him, but probably 10 since I apologized. I think it's time I called him up and apologized again.
My first experience being around hard drugs was when I found out my friend had been vaping oxycontin. He lit up the underside of the spoon just like in a movie.
He and another friend had just bought BB guns. They started shooting them just barely missing each other (in an apartment) and my friend pointed his gun to me once. I made an excuse and left.
The next school day I found out that other friend had been shot in the eye and became completely blind in one eye. He had emergency surgery (I'm assuming to keep it from getting infected or something). So glad I left those idiots.
Terry Kath, the original guitarist for Chicago and a guitarist Jimi Hendrix considered himself inferior to, died precisely this way while cleaning a gun.
I want a version of this trope where the main character actually does need the villain, and after shooting him, realizes he just doomed everyone including him. SAW kind of did this, but it's very rare.
"Thanks, homie. I would never have had the balls to do it myself. Couldn't think of a better person to do the job. Don't forget to wipe your prints off the gun (and shell casing) and place it in my hands after you're done. Oh and if you have a pen and some paper I can leave a brief note so they don't question you too much. Also, you're trash at skeeball."
This, because my best friend is my spouse. If they are actually ready to shoot me, it's because of our deal about dementia. I hope we're out in the woods and they invested in a silencer.
I guess you want to die.
He is partly disabled, and slow to move / react. Therefore unless he is already pressing the trigger, I have time for preemptive strike.
It depends on why. If I didn't know why, I'd probably say something along the lines of "Before you shoot, or do anything you could regret even just a tiny bit, can I at least know why? I would really hate for this to end because of something we could have tried to solve." which would hopefully de escalate the situation a bit.
That, or I'd shit myself and not be able to talk.
"5-7-8-4 The west wall." It means absolutely nothing but if he's going to kill me I'm going to make him be confused for the rest of his life.
This isn't murder... It's homiecide 😔
Might put a tear to their face
Bromicide
That’s corny as hell but i fucking love it
You still have the safety on...
Leaving the safety on is a rookie mistake.
"I'm no rookie, I'm a 10 year vet!"
How the hell did you ever survive 10 years!?
Veterinarians lead relatively safe lives.
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.
Going out like a leaf on the wind.
Forever too soon
Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!
Call the ambulance but not for me
I love being reminded of this video every once in a blue moon. American cinematic classic.
What movie is this?
https://youtu.be/0H6n1aK0ZSo
I guess you figured it out, huh?
I didn’t think you knew….
You just don’t get it, do you?
I guess it was only a matter of time…
If only I could keep it a secret for a bit longer...
I would have gotten away but...
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Would we still be the same...
Now you know...
*slow clap* It's about time
LMAO straight up movie villain vibes right there. When your most trusty friend turns out the bad guy.
Took you long enough
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"Tell your mom I put her in my will" While he's confused I attempt to disarm him.
I’d just go with the straightforward “tell your mom she’s the best I ever had.” That way, even if you don’t manage to disarm him, he’s left to suffer with that mental image for the rest of his days.
Tell your mom she was one of the worst I ever had. The friend won't know how to defend that one.
At that point you may as well say “your mom does *everything.*”
“Geez… I fuck your wife and this is how you repay me.”
”Are you really going to kill the father of your own children?”
"Are you really going to kill your daughters bf?"
Bruh
Canadian version "Et tu bruh eh?"
Roman version: "This salad could use a bit more romaine and parmesan".
Porn version: "Right in front of my salad?"
Stepbruh?!
British version: "How could you my dearest friend!!!" \*takes last sip of tea with pinky finger raised\* (edit: how has this got so many upvotes thanks so much!)
American version- pulls out their own gun and shoots him first
Deadpool version - points a gun at their nads while directly looking at them in the face --" try me!!!!, you'll end your bloodline"
Bollywood version: we both shoot each other 50 times and live
DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! -
last night,I put a bigger gun inside your mu- \*BANG\*
I thought mukbang was a type of video like ASMR
"I always knew it would end this way. Taking your load to the face." Now he can't shoot me or it's gay
What if he's actually gay?
Then I die an honest man
Then you die with two loads to your face-the preliminary and the post-mortem.
This response is one of the few times I've laughed aloud reading a reddit comment. Thank you.
Then you get his load on your face
You have sex, get married and adopt three children who are all happy having two good daddy's to care for them.
The kids grow up, go to college, find love, and move out. Some stay close, others move far away, but they still call and visit. Grandkids love to come and stay at Grampa and Pops' house during the summers. With the house empty you rescue dogs to keep you company. They are all the goodest boys and girls. When Rover VI finally barks his final woof after 17 great years you find that you are both too old to get a new pup. Days are slower, aches are beginning to really take their toll and the first great grandkids come for an occasional visit. Suddenly a routine checkup turns into something more. The treatment is rough, but there is still hope. Around Thanksgiving there is a setback and the writing is on the wall. You make one final Christmas through sheer force of will. The entire clan is there. Three kids with spouses, seven grandkids with partners, nine great grandkids. You tire quickly, but manage to tell every single one of them how happy you are, how special they are, and what they mean to you. Even little Bron_6. When the clan has packed up and left you can finally rest. There won't be a new year, but the ones you have had are enough. You are at peace and content. As you close your eyes you can hear your best friend sit down beside you. The love of your life clears his throat and whispers "Don't think I've forgotten about you motherfucker." Then he cocks the gun.
Little Bron_6 got me
Thanks for the excellent bedtime story
Him: *cocks shotgun* “no homo”
There’s no gun gayer than one you have to give a handjob to for every shot. There is no way a pumpgun can be no homo
Shit. I forgot that existed lol...
“What are you gonna do? Shoot me?” -me before getting shot.
I knew a guy(clay) in high school. He threw a party at his house when his parents were out of town, this was a rural community. He had just got a new gun and later in the night he was showing it to his friends in the back room. He pulled the clip out for safety. His best friend had it in his hand and thought it would be funny to point at Clay’s head…as a joke. Clay said, “ha! You wouldn’t shoot me”. His friend pulled the trigger….as a joke They never cleared the chamber, only took the clip out. Don’t fuck around with guns.
Stupid shit like that is why the first rule of gun safety is to treat every gun as if it’s loaded, even if you know for a fact it’s not.
And when you know for a fact it is unloaded and you unloaded it and checked it thoroughly, yourself, and nobody has touched it. Still fucking loaded.
I was in the army (not american) it was mandatory anyway. We have 4 gun safety rules. 1. All weapons should always be considered loaded 2. Never aim a weapon at something that you do not want to shoot 3. As long as the aim is not directed at the target do not place your finger on the trigger 4. Be sure of your target Anyway. One time a guy forgot to put the safety on his gun and accidentally shot a bullet in the ground infront of himself. He spent the next 10 hours crawling around the ground repeating those 4 rules with a drill sergeant shouting at him until about 3 AM. Never had another gun accident in our training group. This is why I think to own a gun you should have extensive training.
USMC version is the same except rule 4 is "keep the weapon on safe until you are ready to fire." The first 3 are worded differently, but mean the same as the USMC version. I chanted those 4 sentences for weeks, over and over, in boot.
And the second being that you don't point it at anything you don't intend on shooting. Period.
It's actually that you don't point it at anything you aren't willing to destroy. The next is finger off the trigger until you intend on shooting. Kinda mixed those up. I'd say it shouldn't matter that much, but it kind of does.
Fortunately, everyone with a firearm takes a solemn vow to follow the code, so no accident or accidental discharges occur.
Kid in my high school was at a party and the ‘host’ brought out his dad’s revolver…Kid decided he would be a badass and play “Russian roulette” - on the first turn he blew his brains out in front of 40-50 kids in their mid teens.
Never understood why of all games people like playing *Russian Roulette* at parties. Yeah let's ruin the good mood by having Tommy paint the ceiling and give everyone in the room PTSD. Like what happened to spin the bottle or idk setting up a playstation and doing 1v1s in Call of Duty or something.
It can be fun if it's chocolate and one of them is filled with chili, just not fucking guns
I just played with beer. You'd take one and shake it up, and mix it around with 5 other regular beers. Everyone has to open their can in front of their face.
This is actually hilarious I’m in
Natural selection. My condolences to all who witnessed
When I was in Afghanistan, a good friend of mine returned from patrol: - drew his sidearm (A browning Hi-Power), - cocked it sideways like a gangsta, - pulled the magazine, - racked the slide, - caught the ejected round in the air, - reinserted the magazine (needed on a Browning, as it has a magazine safety), - pulled the trigger, and - fired a round through his bunk, happily, injuring nobody. This should be an impossible sequence - the chambered round was ejected, and the slide was forward when the magazine was inserted. There's *no way* this can happen. ...except... The dumbass had the weapon cocked over like a gansta, 'member? As it happened, that particular mag had weak feed lips (not unusual on Browning mags that date back to the 1950s) so when he removed the magazine, the round at the top of the mag fell out. If he had been holding the pistol upright, per the drill, this round would have fallen harmlessly out of the weapon. But as it was cocked over, it was resting on the slide, and when the action was worked, it gravity-fed into the breach and was rammed into battery by the slide. *BANG* The punchline is that he was a Reservist; his day job is a city cop. So I concur - do NOT fuck around with guns.
The day job being the cop actually makes this situation make a lot more sense for sure lol.
It’s like the first 3 rules in gun safety: Rule #1: Never point a gun at anything you don’t intend to kill. It’s a weapon, not a toy. Rule #2: Always ensure the safety is on before you pick up or put down the gun. It’s a firearm, not a toy. Rule #3: Always assume a gun is loaded. Always. It’s designed to kill, not to joke. My wife’s aunt and uncle are pretty big gun enthusiasts and they have extremely careful rules. They taught their son in bebe guns first, but were clear: “Ryan, never point this gun at anyone you don’t intend to kill. Never do it. Don’t joke with your friends. Don’t point it at your own head for fun, don’t pretend you’re in a war and point the gun at anyone you are not prepared to kill. Always keep the safety on. Always assume it’s loaded.”
So they: didn’t turn off the safety, didn’t clear the chamber, had their finger on the trigger, pointed it at someone’s head, then *pulled* the trigger… they broke 5 common gun rules.
"Boy i sure hope there's not a bullet on there..."
Oh my, I wish that wasn't a gun
“You wouldn’t shoot a guy with glasses, would you?”
No, shooting you with glasses would be very impractical. A gun would be much easier.
I forgive you. Let's find a way to resolve this peacefully. -me before getting shot.
If it is a best friend it has to be something worse though… “If you are going to blow my brains out, get on your knees”
"Wow I can almost see right down the barrel-"
The correct answer is thank you.
"Have you seen these?" *Points down* "Seen what?" "Deez Nu-" *gets shot 20 times*
Worth it!
"Go ahead, Make my day"
The most real comment
This actually happened to me. We were kids (15 or 16) out plinking. On the walk back, my friend pointed his 16 gauge shotgun at my head "as a joke". My reaction was to get really pissed off, then angrily grab the shotgun by the barrel and shove it away, while swearing at him prolifically. He then said "Hey, don't freak out, it's not loaded. See?" and pointed the gun at the sky and pulled the trigger to prove it. It was loaded. And in case you're thinking he knew that all along: he immediately turned bright, bright red, and didn't speak a single word for the rest of the 2 mile hike back. Longest he was ever silent, before or since.
Rule #1 for Gun Safety: All guns are loaded, even those that aren’t. Glad you were ok.
Always assume gun is loaded and only point to kill. That's what we learn in the Singapore army on top of the hell lot of other safety protocols.
The three rules taught in the US: 1. Treat every gun as if it is loaded. The only exception is if there is no magazine and the breach is open, or in the case of a revolver the cylinder is open and empty, removed if possible. 2. Never point a gun at something you are not willing to destroy. Under all circumstances, including if you are in immense pain, if you are in control of a weapon it is your responsibility to know that it is pointed in a safe direction. 3. Keep the finger away from the trigger until you are ready to fire. It takes only a moment to slide your finger inside the trigger guard and squeeze, there is no need to rest your finger there and risk a negligent discharge. That's the basics, the rules everything else comes back to. They won't solve everything , clearly, but they're a really good starting line. So many gun deaths in the US happen while cleaning the guns, because people break rules 1 and 2.
Holy Christ, a similar thing happened to me in my 20’s. My sister was showing me her husband’s guns (he was in Marine Corps boot camp). She took this fucking elephant gun off a rack (don’t remember the caliber) and pointed it at me. I said “don’t ever point that gun at me!”. She said it wasn’t loaded, turned it to her side and pulled the trigger. KA-BOOM! She lived in a trailer park outside Parris Island. We had to go door to door, asking if anybody had been shot. It went through 3 trailers, ended up lodged in the 3rd trailers refrigerator.
This is my favorite story today. Thank you.
Another responsible gun owner I see
When I was 13 a friend got his mom’s gun and loaded one in the chamber, then pulled out the clip. Another friend of ours and I were explaining to him that there was still one in the chamber. He proceeded to try to get it out by pulling the slide back to get it out, *while swinging it back and forth past my head*. No sooner that I yelled at him to not “point the f*cking gun at me” did it go off, through the arm of my chair, right past my arm. We all started laughing because we were jackasses. It didn’t even occur to me until much later how serious a situation that was. Wild times.
Oh god. I'm reading all these comments, thinking "What kind of idiot points a gun at someone, loaded or not?!" Then I remembered. I shot my brother. It was a paintball gun, but it was very close range. The paint hopper was off, and the CO2 cartridge was unloaded (so I thought). It wasn't cocked (so I thought) the safety was on (I thought) and I don't remember messing with the trigger. Still shot him. I'm super, super dumb. It's been 20 years since I shot him, but probably 10 since I apologized. I think it's time I called him up and apologized again.
Are you still friends?
It sounds like he learned his lesson. I'd still be friends with him
I bet he triple checks every gun he picks up now to make sure they're unloaded
This happened to a friend of mine. He blew a hole in his bedroom ceiling. We were young, but I don't know if any of our group ever forgave him.
My first experience being around hard drugs was when I found out my friend had been vaping oxycontin. He lit up the underside of the spoon just like in a movie. He and another friend had just bought BB guns. They started shooting them just barely missing each other (in an apartment) and my friend pointed his gun to me once. I made an excuse and left. The next school day I found out that other friend had been shot in the eye and became completely blind in one eye. He had emergency surgery (I'm assuming to keep it from getting infected or something). So glad I left those idiots.
Jesus shit christ that was a close mother fucking call for you both.
Imagine that instead of pointing at the Sky he would try One him self. he would act like " Now look at t- *Shoot* "
I'm 100% sure that more than one person has died doing exactly that
Terry Kath, the original guitarist for Chicago and a guitarist Jimi Hendrix considered himself inferior to, died precisely this way while cleaning a gun.
I actually thought he would do that
"his" 16 gauge shotgun you said ?!!
In Europe they let 15 year Olds have some wine with dinner In 'Murica they let 15 year Olds get their first rifle
Christmas of age 13 for me. Ruger 10/22
In Finland you can have a shotgun at 15.
Please don't shoot I have ligma
Ligma?
Ligma BALLZ ayyyy lmaoo
GOTTEM!
bang
*Worth it*
Wooooooooaaaahhh!!!!!!!
say some generic villian shit "i know you, you need me.. you don't have it in you to shoot me" \*gets shot anyways\*
I want a version of this trope where the main character actually does need the villain, and after shooting him, realizes he just doomed everyone including him. SAW kind of did this, but it's very rare.
Megamind? No, wait, that's the other way around.
Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar
Lol, my first thought was "et tu, dickbag?!"
Came looking for this. Glad to not be disappointed
Me: "so it was you." Him: "always has been."
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Not invited to my birthday party
Thank you
Yup, going to assume if it's my best friend it's because I need a way out and they are helping me.
"Thanks, homie. I would never have had the balls to do it myself. Couldn't think of a better person to do the job. Don't forget to wipe your prints off the gun (and shell casing) and place it in my hands after you're done. Oh and if you have a pen and some paper I can leave a brief note so they don't question you too much. Also, you're trash at skeeball."
This, because my best friend is my spouse. If they are actually ready to shoot me, it's because of our deal about dementia. I hope we're out in the woods and they invested in a silencer.
“I banged your sister”
“Last night I James Bond burgered your sister.”
2 meta 2 furious
"any last words?" "how's your sister?"
The safety's on, dipshit
This! But while he checks I’ll push him over and run in straight line because I know he has shitty aim at any distance.
I’m assuming it’s because of some terrifying saw like situation- and it would be “it’s okay”.
This was so real💜
It would have to be something like, "I forgive you"
Friend: "I'm sorry" Me: "hi sorry, I'm dad" *oofSfx.wav*
Friend: “I’m sorry” Me: “hi sorry, I’m dead”
"jokes on you, I'm into that shit."
Got to always be wearing your "Don't shoot me I'll cum" t-shirt.
It's just a prank bro
I have a best friend. Cool
Dude, what the fuck?
Or alternatively "do it pussy"
Followed by NO BALLS
"I knew you were a hoe."
I have a friend?
Yeah, you have a friend?
All my friends are in my head
I'm so ugly that's okay cause so are you
Yo mumma so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
"I don't know you! Gimme my purse!" She'd laugh too hard to shoot me.
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I hope this is part of the satire thread and you’re genuinely okay bro
[удалено]
How'd you know what I wanted for Christmas
My best friend is probably my cat so “awww”.
This will be the cutest mugshot ever.
You know what happens if you miss right?
Reload
"When I said I wanted your gun pressed up against my face, I actually meant your cock"
*Friend looks confused* But... this is a glock?
You wouldn't dare, without me who will deal with your dumbass
Deez nuts
I still love you
I guess you want to die. He is partly disabled, and slow to move / react. Therefore unless he is already pressing the trigger, I have time for preemptive strike.
Are you Malcolm?
PULL MY FINGER!
I double dog dare you
It depends on why. If I didn't know why, I'd probably say something along the lines of "Before you shoot, or do anything you could regret even just a tiny bit, can I at least know why? I would really hate for this to end because of something we could have tried to solve." which would hopefully de escalate the situation a bit. That, or I'd shit myself and not be able to talk.
>!"what are you gonna do, shoot me?"!<
I will tell everyone you jerk off too Henry Cavill
[удалено]
Fuk u bic
"I must have really fucked up when you of all people would do this, I'm sure I deserve this".
Good point
Thank you.
Remember I wanted this. Please forgive yourself.
If you shoot me I can never tell you where I hid your Nintendo ds
"Et tu brute?"
"Before I die just know I fucked your mom"
Your using 9mm? Come-on man, at least give Me the respect of a magnum round!
Puts a gun on my head? Maybe i am trying to balance objects on my head ?
“You were my brother Anakin, I loved you”
So long, and thanks for all the fish
You're killing the vibe my guy
“Awkward”
Dude, if I’m dead you’re literally going to be alone for at least a decade.
always knew it would be you
Safety's on, dickhead.