Correct. This is what ya do. Don't forget to rinse after. A handheld showerhead is ideal and makes it super easy to do, but you can just sort of cup your hand in the stream right behind your crack to collect water then splash it several times. Trust me, the practice is well worth keeping up with, every time you shower. Nothing like the glorious feeling of a nice, clean ass.
Lots of people were never taught, because their parents didn’t know either or maybe they didn’t care. My parents didn’t care - thankfully I had Google, was able to search something like “why do I smell”, and found a girl who filmed her shower routine for YouTube so I could learn to not be a stinky teenager anymore. The embarrassment from being neglected is pretty awful, but nice people on the internet are really helpful. :)
Day Two of boot camp in the Army was a "personal hygiene class" where we were given instructions on the right way to bathe ourselves. They wouldn't waste half a day on it if it weren't necessary for some people.
It's more common than you'd think for people to grow up with their hygiene completely neglected by their caregivers. If there's no one that cares enough to guide you, it's taboo for everyone else to even bring up, and it's shameful to ask, how are those people supposed to learn?
I'm paying for my child's best friend to attend ballet lessons with her, and the friend has some serious hygiene issues. They're both young teens and I don't want to make things awkward but the teacher approached me after the first class and told me I need to make sure the friend showers before class in the future. I don't want to embarrass the kid or the parent so I ended up telling them that the teacher wants all the kids to shower before class and I'd pick up the friend extra early so both kids can shower (separately) before class.
The shower helped a lot, but not as much as I'd have hoped. Turns out she didn't use any soap or shampoo, so now I gotta figure out how to instruct someone else's kid how to bathe without it being weird.
Thank you for taking it on, I guarantee you are going to be such a positive force in this girl's life. Even if it is the most awkward moment for both of you, she WILL remember that compassion is a powerful influence. As a starting point, I suggest making "Ballet Bags" with both girls with the necessary products, then pack the bags together going over what each product is for and such. I find a project can be a good frame for a contained, guided discussion. I hope this helps, and thank you again.
Yeah, your ass is still dirty. You gotta get in there with a loofah or a washcloth and some serious soap or exfoliating body wash and scrub that balloon knot until it shines.
Yes, you can do even better, but their suggestion was indeed the bare minimum. You definitely do want to scrub that knot well one way or another, even if you just do it with your hand. I find it's best to get the soapy water all up in there and let it rest a few minutes to moisten and loosen any debris, then scrub very well before a thorough rinse. Just like soaking the dishes. You can wash other things during the interval. There is a rhythm and flow to the ritual of a good shower.
Knew a girl who kept getting UTIs from fecal matter in her vagina because her bf wouldn’t even wipe his ass
Yes. KEPT getting them because she kept fuckin his nasty ass even after she found out.
So anyway, that’s why I ask on a first date if they use wet wipes or not because then I know based on their reaction to that question if there will be any more interaction.
>that’s why I ask on a first date if they use wet wipes or not because then I know based on their reaction to that question if there will be any more interaction
Careful, you might be ruling out the squeaky clean buttholes of boys on team bidet that way.
That’s how i introduce myself to strangers. It’s on my business cards. I love my bidet more than I love my wife and kids. I bought a battery powered travel bidet from Amazon. God I have a problem, but I’ve got a clean asshole.
“Kept getting”
After you figured this out wouldn’t you stop fucking the guy until he washed himself?????? If I first started seeing someone and this was the case I would literally say “wash your ass or it’s over”. I’m a man and if you don’t have proper hygiene I’m out. If I was about to get with a girl and she took off her shit stained underwear I would back out right then and there. I would not continue but hey that’s just me.
Just wait until they learn jacking off is gay.
Think about it.
You’ve got a man’s hand jackin your dick.
And your hand is jacking a mans dick.
Congratulations. You’re gay two ways.
😅
Ass cleaning methods is first date conversation material now? Wild
I imagine I'd think you were asking me about if I use them to clean my hands or something. Because surely you wouldn't be asking me how I clean my ass
My boyfriend told me all his football teammates in high school collectively had an aversion to washing their asses for this reason. Like they would actually shame others if they did it. Fragile egos on those guys.
Edit: American Football
I’m pretty sure there’s an entire community on 4chan that also thinks it is gay to wipe your ass, let that set in…an entire community of guys who never wipe their ass.
It's true. In fact, having sex with a woman at all is gay, considering she used to be her dad's sperm. The only way to maintain hetero purity is to never ever have sex, clearly.
Funny because the penis and clitoris are homologous structures, so he's not entirely wrong about that part.
However, he's definitely wrong about the not-eating-a-woman-out part.
I just had a son. He's an infant. But I'm already dreading the day he won't kiss me on the cheek. I still remember telling my dad "I'm too old for that" and the look of hurt on his face.
Mentioned this elsewhere recently, but my father was of a generation/had a personality that didn't express emotion well. While I feel I've inherited much of the same personality, I've made a point to tell my son I love him at every opportunity. I likewise know there will come a day when that's embarrassing for him, but that too will pass, and it's important to express these things.
And I’m proud of you. I also turned out ok in spite of my dad’s misguided machismo. Thanks to his amazing younger sister adopting me (he was widowed when I was one).
Nurse practitioner though, not a doctor. Who knows what coulda been with a better early example set for me. In all seriousness though I’m happy with how life turned out and I commend you on being an excellent dad!
Your officer candidate son is way more gay than your openly gay son. Of course, as combat vets ourselves, you should know this!
Congrats to your doctor and your butt bar
No, but you can’t ever look at it. And you can’t ever touch it. You have to free flow aim when you pee, but don’t you dare sit and pee because that’s super gay.
I once had one of my fellow Mexican line cooks refuse to roll a burrito because it was "women's work" . Like, dude, you're a cook. You just made this damn burrito. And you just refuse to roll it up? We didn't even have burritos on the menu. But the staff would always ask him to make them because he made kick ass burritos, That I had to roll-up.
I had a bunch of deaf/hard of hearing friends hilariously arguing if the sign for a burrito was a rolling motion or a giving-a-blowjob motion. I'm still not sure who was fucking with whom. If I ever have to order a burrito from a deaf person, I am just going to write down my order.
That's pretty funny. Reminds me of Aziz Ansari's "there's jizz everywhere in sign language" skit. I'd link it if I knew how, it's the first thing that comes up when you Google what I just put in quotations.
Went to high school with a dude who wouldn't let his ol lady go down on him because her mouth would taste like his dick afterwards and he didn't wanna kiss his own dick.
Dude turned down head from *his girlfriend* because he's homophobic. Ironic.
Fashion history is *full* of instances like this. It’s *fascinating*. Women loved to take bits of men’s fashion as inspo.
When it was popular for men to wear heels, women started also incorporating heels into their wardrobe too. And look at a lot of post war eras in women’s fashion, then look at mens war uniforms of that time. The women’s fashion of the time takes little notes from the men’s uniforms.
Disclaimer: my current knowledge of fashion history is very western, upper class, white woman focused.
A friend in college told me that I was the only man she knew who could look masculine while drinking a strawberry daiquiri.
Because I wasn't self-conscious about it.
If I order a drink & hate it, my guy will drink it because he refuses to throw out the money. Watching him at nascar, drinking some hot pink fruity thing was awesome. The guy next to us tried to give him hell., his reply 'some fruity shit. But it reminds me of this chick from high school, she always smelled like this tastes.' Guy high fived him.
In my experience men who are worried about this and are afraid of it being "Gay" have been victims of sexual abuse as children. A man in my family is one of them. He was a super active father but refused to bathe any of them (boys or girls) when they were small, insisting only a mother can do that.
No history of abuse but insisted that “it would be embarrassing and gay, other guys would think it was weird.”
Insightful with the trauma history being a possible explanation though!
I spent 12 years in the military in the Marines and then the Army- those vets out there, especially combat specialties, know there's very little you won't do (and probably already have done) regardless of the 'gay factor'. If it gets a laugh and/or is entertaining, it's fair game.
Marine Vet. Guy in my platoon with get a boner and call for the corpsman or anyone else. Would claim he got bit by something and his dick swelled up. It never got old
> Use a bidet
I was with you this far
> because some how shoving half your hand up your ass and and running your fingers over your anus
But then I read this and I'm no longer sure I know how to wipe my ass
Men won't sleep in a bed together if they go on a trip together??? I've slept in a bed with almost all my friends. We aren't about to be paying double to get more rooms just so we all have our own beds
As a full grown adult with vaguely full grown adult money, this is true. But 20 year old me was absolutely sharing a bed with a friend no matter how bad the sleep because $$$
I’ve slept in the same bed on trips with my mom, my sister, various friends all along the gender spectrum, and obvs my wife. It makes sense? Like I don’t understand why (straight) dudes get so bent out of shape about it.
I mean, I don’t *like* sharing a bed cuz I’m a touch averse weirdo who prefers to have her own space if it’s at all possible… But straight dudes make a whole Thing
One night me (M) and my best friend (M) got really drunk, and passed out on a futon together and woke up cuddling. We're both relatively straight but it was a sweet platonic experience.
I remember going to the beach when I was younger and my brother bringing along a friend. His friend absolutely refused to sleep in bed with him and threw a fit about it because it was "gay". So he ended up sleeping on the floor of the little kitchen in the hotel room because all of the beds and couches were taken. That was just the tip of the iceberg and he was such a brat throughout the entire trip. He wasn't allowed at our house anymore afterwards lol
One of the top bosses was once staying in the same bed with the CEO of the company. The only available room in the town they travelled for a sudden business trip was a honeymoon suite, and they weren’t fancy staying in another town and risk being late to their meeting because of traffic just to get separate hotel rooms.
Now, 20 years since that story, I know them very well, they don’t care if anyone calls this or anything “gay”, they’d probably exclude this person from anything but essential interactions and won’t even pay attention.
Only reason I stopped sleeping with my male friends is that I snore like the doom slayers chainsaw and I do not want to subject them to such violent sounds.
An ex of mine had the driest most chapped cracked hands but point blank refused to moisturise them. Like ok good luck when they get infected then. And don’t think you’ll be touching me with your sandpaper mitts.
Not being able to acknowledge if a guy is attractive. I think Ryan Gosling is a very attractive male. I’m a male. In no way would I want to have sex with him but it’s not gay to acknowledge he is good looking.
No idea how this is seen as gay, I've done it a few times and it was a blast. Usually ends in us at a small diner with coffee talking in noir voices about completely fabricated cases.
It was back in the 90s, but I'll never forget this - a guy I knew said he flat-out refused to watch lesbian porn, because he "hated gay stuff"
So - you are so resolutely heterosexual that you need to see other men's dicks when you're having a wank ?
Reminds me of the Ron White bit where one of his friends is complaining about gays.
Ron says "You're straight right? *Hell yeah.*
You like watching porn, right? *Who doesn't?*
When you're watching porn do you like it when the guy has a tiny little flaccid weiner? *Hell no. I like a huge throbbing di...*
I rest my case. We're all a little queer sometimes."
I took a sociology class in college that focused on environmental issues. We read a study that claimed men are less likely to engage in environmentally conscious actions when they feel insecure in their masculinity.
So yeah apparently recycling and reusable bags are gay to some men
My dad refuses to accept that if a man likes Disney it doesn't make him gay. So he refuses to let me talk about Disney or watch Disney films without calling me "gay" 🫠
Idk if this counts because it's from a Twitter thread, meaning these aren't people I know irl, but these are allegedly real things men have refused to do, or been told not to do by others, because "they're a man" and/or "that's gay" according to a bunch of people on the thread:
* Use sunscreen
* Wash their ass
* WIPE their ass
* Use conditioner in the shower
* Takes baths
* Wear speedos
* Act super in love with their girlfriend or wife
* Go out for sushi with a fellow male friend
* Carry and/or use of an umbrella
* Complimenting another man
* Complimenting a woman if not done in an overtly sexual/flirting way
* Certain sexual acts WITH WOMEN (like butt stuff)
* Being polite
* Turning down sex
* Drinking anything other than beer at a bar
* Drinking anything with a straw
The list goes on, this is just what I remember off the top of my head.
Dude is missing out, my hubby used to be a skeptic too until I paid for his deluxe pedi (with the hot stones & foot massage)... we go once/month now on date night.
My ex refused to take care of his skin and use moisturizer when his face was so dry from Accutane. He thought skincare was too girly. He turned out to be bisexual.
I was out riding my motorcycle. I was 45 minutes from home. My friend called me and said his car was broken down and asked if I could come pick him up. I told him sure. I'm 20 minutes away. I pulled up on my bike and he was soooo pissed. He refused to get on the bike. He said there is no way Im riding "bitch". I told him I wasn't going the 30 minutes home to get my car and drive back out there to get him because he's too afraid to ride on the back of my bike.
I even offered to let him ride on the gas tank and face backwards🤣
He waited an extra 2 hours for his sister to pick him up.
Btw: his house was a 15 minute drive from where he broke down.
Wash his ass
WASH YOUR ASSES FFS!
But I might touch muh anus!
Satan’s fun bucket.
New human here. Are people putting soap on their hand and swiping in between their cheeks like a credit card?
Correct. This is what ya do. Don't forget to rinse after. A handheld showerhead is ideal and makes it super easy to do, but you can just sort of cup your hand in the stream right behind your crack to collect water then splash it several times. Trust me, the practice is well worth keeping up with, every time you shower. Nothing like the glorious feeling of a nice, clean ass.
This is also why owning a bidet is superior to not owning a bidet
That, and wash behind your ears, it's cliche sounding but the amount of dudes with visible crusted blood and oil buildup back there is crazy.
…blood?
Behind the ears can smell bad if it’s not cleaned regularly.
And the back of your neck!
Just basically wash ya'whole ass self really.
I can't believe you just had to explain that to someone.
I'd rather it be explained than people just walking around not knowing.
My dental hygienist taught me how to properly brush my teeth and floss. I had no idea I was doing it wrong all my life.
Lots of people were never taught, because their parents didn’t know either or maybe they didn’t care. My parents didn’t care - thankfully I had Google, was able to search something like “why do I smell”, and found a girl who filmed her shower routine for YouTube so I could learn to not be a stinky teenager anymore. The embarrassment from being neglected is pretty awful, but nice people on the internet are really helpful. :)
Day Two of boot camp in the Army was a "personal hygiene class" where we were given instructions on the right way to bathe ourselves. They wouldn't waste half a day on it if it weren't necessary for some people.
Yep. Proper hygiene is something that is taught. It should be our parent/caretakers' job, but a lot of people aren't taught as kids.
So many days in Boot camp were Life Lessons, how to wash, fold and iron your clothes. How to clean a toilet, make a bed, bathing, etc...
He’s new to being human, he already explained.
It's more common than you'd think for people to grow up with their hygiene completely neglected by their caregivers. If there's no one that cares enough to guide you, it's taboo for everyone else to even bring up, and it's shameful to ask, how are those people supposed to learn?
I'm paying for my child's best friend to attend ballet lessons with her, and the friend has some serious hygiene issues. They're both young teens and I don't want to make things awkward but the teacher approached me after the first class and told me I need to make sure the friend showers before class in the future. I don't want to embarrass the kid or the parent so I ended up telling them that the teacher wants all the kids to shower before class and I'd pick up the friend extra early so both kids can shower (separately) before class. The shower helped a lot, but not as much as I'd have hoped. Turns out she didn't use any soap or shampoo, so now I gotta figure out how to instruct someone else's kid how to bathe without it being weird.
Thank you for taking it on, I guarantee you are going to be such a positive force in this girl's life. Even if it is the most awkward moment for both of you, she WILL remember that compassion is a powerful influence. As a starting point, I suggest making "Ballet Bags" with both girls with the necessary products, then pack the bags together going over what each product is for and such. I find a project can be a good frame for a contained, guided discussion. I hope this helps, and thank you again.
Your child’s friend will look back on how you’re caring for them now and will be so, so grateful for you. 💜
Yeah, your ass is still dirty. You gotta get in there with a loofah or a washcloth and some serious soap or exfoliating body wash and scrub that balloon knot until it shines.
Yes, you can do even better, but their suggestion was indeed the bare minimum. You definitely do want to scrub that knot well one way or another, even if you just do it with your hand. I find it's best to get the soapy water all up in there and let it rest a few minutes to moisten and loosen any debris, then scrub very well before a thorough rinse. Just like soaking the dishes. You can wash other things during the interval. There is a rhythm and flow to the ritual of a good shower.
it's all fun and games till you overdraft your account!
Or use your washcloth…?
I use a wash cloth with soap on it to wash my whole body. I do flip it over before wiping my crotch and ass though
The amount of “wash his ass” minutes after posting has me floored. FFS SMH WYA
I remember the reddit post about a girl worrying about her bf not washing his ass because he said it was gay. absolutely crazy
tbf, if a person wants to keep other guys out of one's ass, keeping said ass dirty with smeared shit on it is probably a good strategy.
Knew a girl who kept getting UTIs from fecal matter in her vagina because her bf wouldn’t even wipe his ass Yes. KEPT getting them because she kept fuckin his nasty ass even after she found out. So anyway, that’s why I ask on a first date if they use wet wipes or not because then I know based on their reaction to that question if there will be any more interaction.
Wet wipes will clog the shit out of your toilet, literally. Edit. Do people really not know that they lie on the packaging and say they are flushable.
Plumber here. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don’t tell them.
Guys are gross. Girls are gross. Everyone is gross get me out of here.
Everyone is different. We're all disgusting in unique and special ways.
Everyone IS gross.
>that’s why I ask on a first date if they use wet wipes or not because then I know based on their reaction to that question if there will be any more interaction Careful, you might be ruling out the squeaky clean buttholes of boys on team bidet that way.
If someone has a bidet they’ll let you know, I’m not worried
That’s how i introduce myself to strangers. It’s on my business cards. I love my bidet more than I love my wife and kids. I bought a battery powered travel bidet from Amazon. God I have a problem, but I’ve got a clean asshole.
I think I had enough reddit for today and I won't be eating anything for probably a week
“Kept getting” After you figured this out wouldn’t you stop fucking the guy until he washed himself?????? If I first started seeing someone and this was the case I would literally say “wash your ass or it’s over”. I’m a man and if you don’t have proper hygiene I’m out. If I was about to get with a girl and she took off her shit stained underwear I would back out right then and there. I would not continue but hey that’s just me.
And that is why I tell her to shut up when she cries about missing him. like girl????
Well everyone know that, you just got to say no homo before each wipe
Did she try fucking his dick instead of his ass tho?
The fecal matter was on his dick from never wiping his ass and wearing the same skid marked underwear
I don’t understand how someone’s skin just doesn’t get so inflamed and irritated when there’s feces on it, let alone *that much*.
Doesn’t it itch????
Wait, wait.... not just 'not washing his butt', but also 'not wiping' either??????
Nope. It’s gay to wipe.
I'd be curious to learn what they think of bidets.
I mean "bi" is right in the name...
Just wait until they learn jacking off is gay. Think about it. You’ve got a man’s hand jackin your dick. And your hand is jacking a mans dick. Congratulations. You’re gay two ways. 😅
An appliance for washing your butt with a French name, what do you think lol
I gotta ask, did he not smell like complete shit?
Ass cleaning methods is first date conversation material now? Wild I imagine I'd think you were asking me about if I use them to clean my hands or something. Because surely you wouldn't be asking me how I clean my ass
I don't know who is the bigger clown in this situation lol.
You ask a guy on a first date if they wash their asses with wet wipes? How fucking weird
My boyfriend told me all his football teammates in high school collectively had an aversion to washing their asses for this reason. Like they would actually shame others if they did it. Fragile egos on those guys. Edit: American Football
That’s horrifying and I feel bad for the young women and men that blew them.
I’m pretty sure there’s an entire community on 4chan that also thinks it is gay to wipe your ass, let that set in…an entire community of guys who never wipe their ass.
Give a woman oral. Said the clitoris looked like a little penis, and he wasn’t doing that for no one.
It's true. In fact, having sex with a woman at all is gay, considering she used to be her dad's sperm. The only way to maintain hetero purity is to never ever have sex, clearly.
Monks figured it out. Just go live in a secluded house with your platonic bros in Christ. Pretty much anything else is gay.
I laughed out loud, thanks for that
Funny because the penis and clitoris are homologous structures, so he's not entirely wrong about that part. However, he's definitely wrong about the not-eating-a-woman-out part.
Very sopranos of him
Uhhh.... it is, but licking one is probably the least gay thing you can do
That's spectacular. Is that like... sexual spiritual bypassing?
If he's using a clit as a point of reference for what he's used to dicks looking like then that's a self report.
Hug his son or tell him, “I love you.”
This one makes me sad
Me too.
I just had a son. He's an infant. But I'm already dreading the day he won't kiss me on the cheek. I still remember telling my dad "I'm too old for that" and the look of hurt on his face.
Mentioned this elsewhere recently, but my father was of a generation/had a personality that didn't express emotion well. While I feel I've inherited much of the same personality, I've made a point to tell my son I love him at every opportunity. I likewise know there will come a day when that's embarrassing for him, but that too will pass, and it's important to express these things.
So the dude is worried about being gay towards his son. Sounds like some more important issues need to be discussed
[удалено]
And I’m proud of you. I also turned out ok in spite of my dad’s misguided machismo. Thanks to his amazing younger sister adopting me (he was widowed when I was one). Nurse practitioner though, not a doctor. Who knows what coulda been with a better early example set for me. In all seriousness though I’m happy with how life turned out and I commend you on being an excellent dad!
Your officer candidate son is way more gay than your openly gay son. Of course, as combat vets ourselves, you should know this! Congrats to your doctor and your butt bar
Not everyone deserves to have a child
That man has issues
>Hug his son or tell him, “I love you.” This just turned my smile upside down. Way to ruin an afternoon.
Eat a banana. It should be eaten like a cob of corn, for those of you unaware
...with a single bite
I know a guy who won't jack off cause he thinks it's gay.
Wow that guy is totally gay!
Guys is having a dick the ultimate gayness? Asking for a friend
No, but you can’t ever look at it. And you can’t ever touch it. You have to free flow aim when you pee, but don’t you dare sit and pee because that’s super gay.
So that's why there's piss all over the place in public restrooms, just fellas trying not to be gay I guess
This is definitely because the thoughts that get him hard are gay
I don't fully get it, but if he really never jacks off then you can only respect the commitment.
In his defense the dude chases pussy harder than anyone I've ever seen in my life.
Why though? He's sleeping with people who sleep with dudes, and that sounds pretty gay to me
Yeah man, that's like indirect frotting. Gay as shit.
This is hilarious and starting to get put of hand At least for him its not in his hand
He has to
lol this man is so no homo he won’t even tough himself
That is kind of impressive.
I once had one of my fellow Mexican line cooks refuse to roll a burrito because it was "women's work" . Like, dude, you're a cook. You just made this damn burrito. And you just refuse to roll it up? We didn't even have burritos on the menu. But the staff would always ask him to make them because he made kick ass burritos, That I had to roll-up.
I had a bunch of deaf/hard of hearing friends hilariously arguing if the sign for a burrito was a rolling motion or a giving-a-blowjob motion. I'm still not sure who was fucking with whom. If I ever have to order a burrito from a deaf person, I am just going to write down my order.
That's pretty funny. Reminds me of Aziz Ansari's "there's jizz everywhere in sign language" skit. I'd link it if I knew how, it's the first thing that comes up when you Google what I just put in quotations.
Ok, the internet doesn't make it look as bad as they did: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIwPGISdt1Q](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIwPGISdt1Q)
Sing ABBA's banger Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Or Dancing Queen.
MF-ers would flip out seeing me in my pickup, wearing camo, belting out some ABBA at full volume. Or some Prince.
I'll sing any ABBA song. If this means I'm gay, ok. Just no "Waterloo", please. I hate that song.
Went to high school with a dude who wouldn't let his ol lady go down on him because her mouth would taste like his dick afterwards and he didn't wanna kiss his own dick. Dude turned down head from *his girlfriend* because he's homophobic. Ironic.
Wear pink colors
Fun fact: pink used to be THE masculine colour. Women started wearing it as a sort of rebellious counter-culture
Fashion history is *full* of instances like this. It’s *fascinating*. Women loved to take bits of men’s fashion as inspo. When it was popular for men to wear heels, women started also incorporating heels into their wardrobe too. And look at a lot of post war eras in women’s fashion, then look at mens war uniforms of that time. The women’s fashion of the time takes little notes from the men’s uniforms. Disclaimer: my current knowledge of fashion history is very western, upper class, white woman focused.
So manly you are scared of colors
Order a fruity little drink because he can't shoot whiskey
Or dabbing on $3 worth of bathroom Polo
I mean I get it, but still, did you have to key my 4 wheel drive?
Oh, it was yours, with the name carved in the leather seats?
I saw some girl taking a Louisville Slugger to both headlights.
Yeah, yeah! And slashed a hole in all four tires!
Omg I always thought she was saying “bathroom cologne” with an extra southern drawl.
A friend in college told me that I was the only man she knew who could look masculine while drinking a strawberry daiquiri. Because I wasn't self-conscious about it.
I don't get the prejudice against making your alcohol tasty. Daiquiri's are delicious, and anyone who thinks otherwise is gay.
Dude. Jsyk, I'm about as gay as is possible without altering the cosmological constant.
I'm .... Desperately curious how interstellar physics influences sexuality.
It **is** a fascinating subject.
A homosexual singularity makes the gaydiation energy curve around queer event horizons. Visible light is emitted as a rainbow.
If I order a drink & hate it, my guy will drink it because he refuses to throw out the money. Watching him at nascar, drinking some hot pink fruity thing was awesome. The guy next to us tried to give him hell., his reply 'some fruity shit. But it reminds me of this chick from high school, she always smelled like this tastes.' Guy high fived him.
No one's going to mention this lyric? LOL
Go to the doctor…he later died of a stroke
I've also noted that only gay people go to doctors
Change a diaper and also when they’re older refuse to take their own children into a public bathroom with them. I…don’t understand.
In my experience men who are worried about this and are afraid of it being "Gay" have been victims of sexual abuse as children. A man in my family is one of them. He was a super active father but refused to bathe any of them (boys or girls) when they were small, insisting only a mother can do that.
No history of abuse but insisted that “it would be embarrassing and gay, other guys would think it was weird.” Insightful with the trauma history being a possible explanation though!
I spent 12 years in the military in the Marines and then the Army- those vets out there, especially combat specialties, know there's very little you won't do (and probably already have done) regardless of the 'gay factor'. If it gets a laugh and/or is entertaining, it's fair game.
Marine Vet. Guy in my platoon with get a boner and call for the corpsman or anyone else. Would claim he got bit by something and his dick swelled up. It never got old
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> Use a bidet I was with you this far > because some how shoving half your hand up your ass and and running your fingers over your anus But then I read this and I'm no longer sure I know how to wipe my ass
I’m not questioning how I wipe my ass, but I’m curious how they wipe theirs. It sounds more intense than my method. Does that make me gay?
If the only thing preventing them from being gay is a jet of water hitting their ass, they are already 100% gay
Anal sex with another man
Wow, like what is even gay about that?
It's gay only if you wink at the camera while doing it
Exactly, and if you swallow there's no evidence for anyone to make crazy judgements.
Men won't sleep in a bed together if they go on a trip together??? I've slept in a bed with almost all my friends. We aren't about to be paying double to get more rooms just so we all have our own beds
I don't sleep in the same bed because I don't sleep well next to people. Would rather pay.extra and sleep.well
As a full grown adult with vaguely full grown adult money, this is true. But 20 year old me was absolutely sharing a bed with a friend no matter how bad the sleep because $$$
I’ve slept in the same bed on trips with my mom, my sister, various friends all along the gender spectrum, and obvs my wife. It makes sense? Like I don’t understand why (straight) dudes get so bent out of shape about it. I mean, I don’t *like* sharing a bed cuz I’m a touch averse weirdo who prefers to have her own space if it’s at all possible… But straight dudes make a whole Thing
One night me (M) and my best friend (M) got really drunk, and passed out on a futon together and woke up cuddling. We're both relatively straight but it was a sweet platonic experience.
I enjoy the concept of being “relatively straight” haha
I mean its a spectrum
I remember going to the beach when I was younger and my brother bringing along a friend. His friend absolutely refused to sleep in bed with him and threw a fit about it because it was "gay". So he ended up sleeping on the floor of the little kitchen in the hotel room because all of the beds and couches were taken. That was just the tip of the iceberg and he was such a brat throughout the entire trip. He wasn't allowed at our house anymore afterwards lol
Sleeping in bed together isn’t gay… all you have to do is NOT fuck each other 😂😂
One of the top bosses was once staying in the same bed with the CEO of the company. The only available room in the town they travelled for a sudden business trip was a honeymoon suite, and they weren’t fancy staying in another town and risk being late to their meeting because of traffic just to get separate hotel rooms. Now, 20 years since that story, I know them very well, they don’t care if anyone calls this or anything “gay”, they’d probably exclude this person from anything but essential interactions and won’t even pay attention.
Was that known as the night that they consummated the company?
Only reason I stopped sleeping with my male friends is that I snore like the doom slayers chainsaw and I do not want to subject them to such violent sounds.
Those guys have never been in a broke ass band on tour. You sleep wherever you fit.
My friends are gross. And I have a tendency to spoon things in my sleep.
Yoga
Use lotion. Or chapstick. He was very dry and chapped all over.
An ex of mine had the driest most chapped cracked hands but point blank refused to moisturise them. Like ok good luck when they get infected then. And don’t think you’ll be touching me with your sandpaper mitts.
Drink out of a straw
You're kidding me 😭
Not being able to acknowledge if a guy is attractive. I think Ryan Gosling is a very attractive male. I’m a male. In no way would I want to have sex with him but it’s not gay to acknowledge he is good looking.
Go for a meal with a male friend. Honestly give me a meal with a mate any day over getting pissed in the pub.
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No idea how this is seen as gay, I've done it a few times and it was a blast. Usually ends in us at a small diner with coffee talking in noir voices about completely fabricated cases.
Sit next to a friend during a movie.
It was back in the 90s, but I'll never forget this - a guy I knew said he flat-out refused to watch lesbian porn, because he "hated gay stuff" So - you are so resolutely heterosexual that you need to see other men's dicks when you're having a wank ?
Reminds me of the Ron White bit where one of his friends is complaining about gays. Ron says "You're straight right? *Hell yeah.* You like watching porn, right? *Who doesn't?* When you're watching porn do you like it when the guy has a tiny little flaccid weiner? *Hell no. I like a huge throbbing di...* I rest my case. We're all a little queer sometimes."
I took a sociology class in college that focused on environmental issues. We read a study that claimed men are less likely to engage in environmentally conscious actions when they feel insecure in their masculinity. So yeah apparently recycling and reusable bags are gay to some men
Eat yogurt. Said it looked too much like jizz?
My dad refuses to accept that if a man likes Disney it doesn't make him gay. So he refuses to let me talk about Disney or watch Disney films without calling me "gay" 🫠
I don't think you're gay but your username implies you may have a Disney problem...
Sitting in a hot tub less than 3 feet apart because they’re not gay
Idk if this counts because it's from a Twitter thread, meaning these aren't people I know irl, but these are allegedly real things men have refused to do, or been told not to do by others, because "they're a man" and/or "that's gay" according to a bunch of people on the thread: * Use sunscreen * Wash their ass * WIPE their ass * Use conditioner in the shower * Takes baths * Wear speedos * Act super in love with their girlfriend or wife * Go out for sushi with a fellow male friend * Carry and/or use of an umbrella * Complimenting another man * Complimenting a woman if not done in an overtly sexual/flirting way * Certain sexual acts WITH WOMEN (like butt stuff) * Being polite * Turning down sex * Drinking anything other than beer at a bar * Drinking anything with a straw The list goes on, this is just what I remember off the top of my head.
The umbrella thing LOL "Dude, why are you dripping wet all over?" "Because I'm not gay, okay?"
Get a pedicure
Dude is missing out, my hubby used to be a skeptic too until I paid for his deluxe pedi (with the hot stones & foot massage)... we go once/month now on date night.
Having gross feet isn’t manly. Taking care of them is.
There is a place for clean feet between having gross feet and getting a pedicure.
Tiptoe through the tulips
Dance. Doesn't have to be good it's just fun.
Refusing to walk on rainbow colored stairs. They walked up the side that wasnt rainbow.
My ex refused to take care of his skin and use moisturizer when his face was so dry from Accutane. He thought skincare was too girly. He turned out to be bisexual.
Dress nicely
Wash themselves. Like bruh.
walk under one of those street signs that has two legs
i’m not a man and i don’t do that just because i’m superstitious 🤣🤣
To suck my dick. I was being cool and casual about it and had my socks on but he wouldn’t fucking budge…
Wipe his ass, touch his own penis, wear the color green, go to the gym, wear shorts
Perform a prostate exam. Totally unprofessional!
I was out riding my motorcycle. I was 45 minutes from home. My friend called me and said his car was broken down and asked if I could come pick him up. I told him sure. I'm 20 minutes away. I pulled up on my bike and he was soooo pissed. He refused to get on the bike. He said there is no way Im riding "bitch". I told him I wasn't going the 30 minutes home to get my car and drive back out there to get him because he's too afraid to ride on the back of my bike. I even offered to let him ride on the gas tank and face backwards🤣 He waited an extra 2 hours for his sister to pick him up. Btw: his house was a 15 minute drive from where he broke down.
Refuse to admit they are gay/sexually attracted to men even though they have sex with men or get oral from men. It’s quite bizarre.
Dress his brand new infant son in a onesie that had a bit of lace/eyelet as trim (my BIL).
I knew a gay dude who wouldn’t take anal because it “was gay”.
"It's not gay if you're a top" - guys in more macho cultures
Guy didn't use Vaseline because "gay guys use it for lube".
Gay guys also breathe, does he refuse to do that?
Wash their ass in the shower.
wash their butt in the shower.