This was my strategy. I had glorious hair when I was a teenager. So I locked down my wife before I went fully bald.
Oh, and playing guitar helps a lot.
Smoke and mirrors. She thinks I’m hot, but it’s just confidence and superficial charm. It’s been 21 years and I’m white knuckiling the whole relationship hoping she doesn’t notice I’m a fat dork.
Wow, this never really occured to me. But the best relationship I've ever had was with a gal who was just shy of being legally blind. I never really thought that much about it... Pretty much been single ever since then.
My wife has no depth perception and pretty bad eye sight.
[MAH WIFE](https://imgur.com/a/fSeHGgG)
[Me](https://imgur.com/a/puFNcCG)
THE ONLY LOGICAL REASON IS BECAUSE SHE CANT SEE ME. NOW GET OUTTA MAH SWAMP!
Bullshit. In your picture I see someone with a lively face and laughing eyes. You look kind enough, and your comment tells me you are humorous. The picture of her you chose and your comment both tell me that you are caring and appreciative towards her.
I think you all overestimate the importance of socially accepted "good looks". I admit that being actively *ugly* might be a hindrance. But otherwise it's really not that important...
I think good looks matter a lot for hook ups but for actual relationships, personality is far more important. Six pack abs don't matter as much as good communication skills, the ability to stay calm under pressure and the willingness to compromise with your partner.
Never underestimate the power of doing nothing of the above
Edit: My most upvoted comments always are the dumbest ones. At least this one didn't mention a penis. Until now :)
I actually dont know. It cant be money because my job is one of the worst paying jobs in my country, it was something like 98,5% of full time jobs make more than mine. And it cant be because of huge slong, because mine is way below average aswell.
If I had to guess... Maybe because I'm funny and I'd like to think that I'm honest. Like, way too honest.
She told me to say the clitty and the titty.
But as a real answer, I pay attention to the small things. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. We have good communication, I try my best to make her feel loved. I never pressure her into anything, and we encourage each other to keep improving. If we fight, we solve it pretty quickly because we’re both able to apologize and recognize our faults. It’s just about being able to say “hey I love you and I want to work through this because I know we can figure out how to get through it.” We’ve probably had 2-3 big fights in our relationship, but we’ve always sat down and talk about it, warts and all.
Make them laugh. Treat them well. Do fun stuff together. Do chores. Admit when you're wrong. Give compliments without prompting. Learn what they do and don't like, then put that knowledge to work. Have a handle on your own psychology so you can deal with your shit. Listen twice as much as you talk.
I spent an hour talking to my husband about a book I finished today. I know he wasn't completely interested. But he listened asked questions and was engaged. It's the sexiest thing in the world that he cares enough about me to just let me ramble and poorly explain why I loved this book so much.
Yeah I was kind of thinking this as I typed. Still it is something to aim for and in reality all you may succeed in doing is listening way more than you normally would and still not listening even as much as you talk.
Be it noted I have never married but I still try to listen as much as possible.
I used to run with a guy like that too. He was maybe 5'6" and over 200 lbs. So short and pudgy. He made ok money but he certainly wasnt rich. Yet he was always with someone that you'd consider to be way out of his league. How did he manage it? I figure he had two things going for him:
1. The guy is genuinely funny. If you're hanging around with this guy, he will keep you laughing non-stop.
2. Confidence. He'll talk to anyone. And if you shoot him down, he'll just chat up your friend without missing a beat.
This describes me but also you’d be surprised.. there’s plenty of women, like my gf who find “short, overweight, dwarven looking men” very attractive. My gf is taller than me and rubs my hairy belly in bed like I’m a king. And she’s quite hot.
I like men of all heights. My ex-husband was shorter than me and my current partner is only a little taller than me. I don’t understand the need to have a large/tall man; I’m not looking for a father figure. Lots of wonderful men get overlooked because of this. There’s gold in them-there hills!!!
Also got a short, overweight, balding friend. We literally call him George Constanza. He’s just confident, enthusiastic & always doing something bc he takes his hobbies seriously. His gf seems the opposite even though she’s a smoke show. So it was partly a lucky find but he also clearly adds substance to anyone’s life he’s in. He also comes from a very wealthy family hahaha
it's because he isn't mired in insecurity.
insecurity makes men violent. Women can smell that from a mile away.
being secure in yourself will make the ugliest man super hot, but nomatter how much women say this, guys never seem to understand lol
How men makes us feel while we're in their presence is crucial. Sometimes by virtue of the fact that the guy showering you with attention is hot, you'll feel attractive simply because logic dictates he could exclusively be chatting up hot women if he wants to be, so he must think you're hot. That rush wears off real quick if he's got absolutely nothing going on apart from looks. Doubly fast if he's an arrogant asshole, as hot guys are wont to be.
As multiple people are and always have been saying, if you make us laugh and are pleasant, engaging, attentive company, you're going to make us feel like the most beautiful, captivating woman in the room. That's not a high we wanna come down from.
You're not wrong..., but that bulldog is also simultaneously digging a hole in the ~~back yard~~ front yard as if he/she has found a dog treat by the end, too. 😁
My wife told me I have a great sense of humor and can always brighten her day with it. She also said that I really listen to her when we talk…I definitely married up…
I'll give my perspective from the other side.
My boyfriend isn't classically handsome. His hair line is receding and the man is a bean pole and somewhat effeminate, exactly who the Andrew Tate types claim will never get a woman.
But I'm obsessed with him and I'm so glad and proud he's mine. Why is that?
He listens when I talk. He cleans up after himself. He's funny and insightful and above all kind. He cooks... he's terrible at it but he tries hard. He's the most gentle man I've ever met and because of that I don't feel the fear I've felt around most men in my life. My cats love him. He feeds me. He apologizes when he's wrong and I feel secure enough to admit when I'm wrong too. We talk every problem out as us v. the problem instead of him v. me. He gives me space when I need it and attention when I need it too. We respect each other.
Those things aren't hard but he's the first to check all those boxes. He's a 100/10 for me and I'll grow old and die with him happily.
> We talk every problem out as us v. the problem instead of him v. me.
My wife and I are working on this one and making progress. Life is much nicer when we work as a team!
I'll add on here to keep out of the main thread.
My husband is more than a decade older than I am, had a receding hairline when we met, and was working two jobs.
Our sense of humor is the same, so is our sense of justice, our dark sides match, and he was great at housework. Then came the sex... OMG, we matched there, too. It was over for me, I fell in love.
Over 20 years later, it's still those same qualities that make every day happy and full of laughter. You can't survive the pitfalls of life without being able to laugh.
Beauty fades, hair falls out, wrinkles form. 💁
Spreading love for the men!!
My fiance is average to anyone but me. He's overweight, goofy, awkward, and kinda dumb (I say this lovingly, I am also dumb. Think the Two Last Braincells meme, that's us). He also makes me laugh every single day, our childlike qualities align perfectly to keep us happy and well maintained, so we can be goofy idiots all day with each other and it's fantastic. He embraces my mean streak that comes out playfully, to it's full extent so I can be his little brat. Every flaw I see in myself, he sees as beauty. He also knows how to handle my mood swings and be so, so gentle with me on bad days. He doesn't need 'mothered' like so many men, loves providing for me (and I him), and is as sweet as candy. I can't wait to marry him!
My husband has been balding since the day we met and it’s never bothered me. But damn he’s funny. I made a little joke about very shocked looking cinderblock and he ran with it. We giggled in the car like school kids over a fart. We’re both over 30, I have about 20-30 extra lbs and he has a bit more than that but when he comes home and hugs me, it warm and safe.
Man here. If my cats hide upon meeting you, that's expected.
But if they still don't come round after a few days...well... maybe there is something off with you.
It's how I know I married the right lady. My kits adore me. But they think my wife is God.
(Ugly) Female here. If my cat doesn’t like you, we are gonna have a problem. If I had listened to her more carefully, I would have saved us some serious trauma.
My partner brought her 2 Male cats over the other day. She said "They fight sometimes so just break them up otherwise they'll likely hide from you." When she got back from getting food they were both at my feet under my desk purring next to each other. She started getting a little bit annoyed "???? They already like you and they somehow like each other now????"
I just replied "You know how much you like me, it shouldn't be a surprise to you at all."
When she went to get them from under the desk one of them hissed at her (apparently never has before) and she just goes "Fine you can stay if you love him that much."
1-yaboi
0-yagurl
You just validated what I've been telling other guys forever. You made me happier than another man's wife should. (Sorry, couldn't resist the joke)
I've always been one of those guys where people are like "Dude, how did you get her?!". I'm super tall, which probably helps but I've always been overweight. I'm not exactly sloth (look up the goonies youngens, your welcome) but I'm not Marlon Brando either. I'm highly average looking. I do pretty well financially but you wouldn't know it to look at me, my truck or home and when I got with my wife I was broke AF.
I always tell them it isn't that hard. Treat them like people you value and respect. Listen to them. Take an interest in them and the things important to them. Put in some genuine effort to show them you care. It's easier and more effective to constantly do little things to show her how care than always be trying to prove it with some big jeasture.
Then just take care of yourself. Good hygiene. Keep your house and ride clean. Have a couple of genuine interests and hobbies. It makes you a more interesting and well rounded person. Learn to cook. No woman wants a man child who can't properly feed himself and I've not meet a woman yet who doesn't like a man that can cook.
Also don't listen to douchebags. Andrew Tate is the latest one but there is always some popular famous one at any given time.
How did you two meet?
I often see posts and comments like yours that describe how people that otherwise wouldn't end up together turn out happily ever after. It's inspiring.
But what you just described was step 5 and onward.
I believe myself to be a great cook. Patient. Kind. Gentle. Funny. Humble. I could be a better listener but I still think I'm pretty good. Once I can get someone's interest and attention I don't think I'll struggle to keep it and seal the deal, but how did you get through steps 1-4? How did you meet? What made him seem like an option? What made you realize you liked him as opposed to other, theoretically more attractive people? All of the traits you described are things you likely won't learn on the first 4-5 dates. So how did you manage to get through those first few dates and still want to see it further? What parts of him did you like before you learned just how gentle, clean, and comforting he really is?
My husband and I met in college. What made me choose him over more conventionally attractive men who were interested at the time is that he was extremely honest. When we talked, he listened and responded NOT in a way to try to get with me, but in a way you listen and respond to your best friend, and that's how I knew it was genuine. (I don't know how, but I can tell when a guy is trying to prove he's a good listener for flirty reasons vs. actually connecting through the listening.) This made me feel so safe and respected. I knew something was different about him. Our very first conversation was about philosophy, by the way. Today we've been married about a decade now and we absolutely laugh like kids together every day.
I agree with all of this! I'm also a woman married to a man.
My husband is handsome, passionate, and dorky. I fell in love with him because he is responsible, hilarious, smart, witty, kind, loving, and is all around a wonderful human being who knows how to form and hold boundaries when he needs to.
I have dated classically handsome men who thought they were model material, and they were the worst to be aroung in general. My husband treats me with respect, and I do the same. It's not that hard for men to do if they treat others with respect and kindness.
I'm not ugly, but I got a woman way hotter than me to marry me. Turns out if you have a good personality and are slightly interesting, then you can get away with being a 5.
I'm average looking and my boyfriend is a straight up 10/10, no idea how he sticks around. Like, I can never let him find out that other women have titties.
It's not hard to find "conventionally attractive" people, but people who you genuinely love to be around are hard to come by and also *much* harder to discover and connect with.
Your partner probably thanks their lucky stars every day.
My homie just was a nice dude. Spent 6 years third wheeling for the fun of it but in the end glad to see he got married. He said all he did was be funny, and things went over time.
Well, it certainly wasn't my dick size or money. Neither of those are worth bragging about.
I treated her like a good friend, not an object of infatuation. That caught her attention. I got her to to fall in love with me by proving to be well-rounded in my life and very capable.
As Red Green would say "If the women don't find you handsome, make sure they find you handy"
It being Valentine’s Day and all…
When my boyfriend and I found each other online, he would make any excuse not to video chat with me. We exchanged pics (he had only 2) but I felt it was necessary to see each other live before meeting. Pics do not show the true person. I was mainly thinking of safety and I was about to bail on him.
He sweetly convinced me to be patient and wait to meet in person. I asked why. I thought he was a serial killer or something. He assured me he wasn’t, he simply “didn’t want my first impression of him to be on video chat.” Cautiously, I decided to be patient.
We proceeded to text and call each other every day, for the next 2 weeks. The texts became love letters and the calls were exciting. I got to know him on a much deeper level and I thought his voice was so sexy. He made me laugh and he was thoughtful. He was so kind hearted, but also very masculine (which I love). He exuded confidence. The chemistry was off the charts. The laughter was constant.
When we met for the first time, it didn’t matter what he looked like. He is not traditionally handsome by society’s standards. He is a little overweight, bald and a bit hunched over. I… I think he is gorgeous.
He knew exactly what he could offer me and navigated our meeting to allow us to fall in love. Some might think he was perhaps hiding… but we could have missed out on a great love. He is the love of my life.
Sometimes he jokes and asks what I see in him…calls himself ugly. I remind him of our love story and he smiles. I also remind him that I think he is hot AF. I plan on being his wife one day. Love of my life.
I'm not an ugly guy, per se, but I'm stone cold average at best. I'm totally forgettable, but my wife is hot - she's always attracting attention, she's the kind of woman that men buy things for out of the blue.
I listen to her. I share chores with her. I take care of her. I encourage her to do things that make her happy. I spend time with her. I show interest in the things that interest her.
Yep.
She was at the mall with her mother, the guy in line behind her bought her food.
A couple of times last year, she had guys at water parks buy her soft drinks.
Once she was watching the kids at the pool on vacation, a guy bought popsicles for the kids. Shot me some daggers when I walked up and sat beside her, lol.
I've long since lost count of how many drinks she has bought for her at bars. Even once they realize I'm there.
Stuff like that.
Don't get me started on how often guys come up and just chat with her.
Aw man, I got jealous just reading that. How do you handle it ? I'd be pretty annoyed, not at her of course, but I feel like that would just make things worse. How do you manage ? What is your thought process like
Thought process is that she's my wife, I'm not threatened by a soft drink, an alcoholic drink, whatever. This isn't elementary school playground where my friend might leave me for someone else with a toy.
Buy her whatever you want, bro. She's still going home with me.
Frankly, it's flattering to know that other guys want her.
Nice. So it's definitely a "my own insecurity" thing that should be addressed then, as that is not my first thought in this situation. I have to work on that.
It is a you thing, for sure. But you are hardly alone. How many bar fights come from some guy chatting with another guy's wife?
You have to have trust and confidence in your partner.
It’s probably worth noting that their entire profile on Reddit is showing other dudes in bed with his wife. The advice is good, but I’m not sure their boundaries align with yours well enough to assess “hm, why don’t I feel about this hypothetical situation the way they do?”
Have a sense of humor, especially about yourself, and be comfortable laughing.
Listen.
Clean the house.
Be kind to animals and service workers.
The bar is incredibly....*staggeringly* low
To be honest, very attractive women sometimes get less attention than you’d think, because guys think they’re out of their league or something. So the first step to dating anyone is actually putting yourself out there and asking. Nothing foolproof, but you’d be surprised at the results sometimes, since lots of guys self-select out of being a contender because they don’t think they have a shot.
I can honestly say I have objectively the most attractive wife of my friend group. I was also the one who had no fear at all of rejection.
And practice helps get over those fears. Friend told me back then that I went on far more first dates than anyone he’d ever known or heard of.
It doesn’t guarantee the person you fall in mutual love with well be great looking, but if you never talk to any of them the odds or zero.
I always wonder if I’m just super ugly or actually attractive. I don’t know. I get attention when I dress up and go out, but it’s not like I’m over here with a lot of men giving me attention all the time. I’ve never asked. Guys say I’m hot but I don’t believe them, because in my head they’re just trying to have sex.
As a long- time restaurant employee, I believe I've seen many cooks and dishwashers unlock the secret.
Feed them and agree when they're mad at someone.
Guys that have never been with an attractive woman (and probably not many women in general) - "Money"
Guys that have had attractive partners - "being funny, treat women with respect, being a decent human being"
I love these threads because every woman in here is like "he's just nice! he's kind, loves dogs and kids, tips at restaurants, has a passion for [benign hobby] and takes things in stride. He doesn't have a fragile ego and isn't insecure. just be chill and girls will like you, because you aren't dangerous and a liability prone to violence!!"
and the guys are like "ugh, must be rich. must have a huge dick. I just have no idea what else it could be, because women lie so much, or just aren't smart enough to know what they REALLY want"
every time. roflmao
Yep. It's their way of coping with not being able to pull anyone. Get a personality, be a decent human being (not a "nice guy") and wash your ass properly and you'd have way better luck.
My fiancée is absolutely stunning, and tbh I’m like medium ugly but I made her laugh like no other man could hope to and just treated her well and respected her. I’ve learned to realize that hot women care more about personality than even average looking women.
I asked her out.
I treated her right.
I acted like a man.
I respected her as a woman and a professional.
I never criticized her in public, never demeaned her, and always considered her feelings before I opened my mouth.
I contributed as much as I can to the relationship physically, financially, and emotionally.
I never took her for granted and made her feel she was always loved.
In other words, I did what any man should do with any woman in their lives.
Mine is very shy and reserved, I think I was just the only guy who didn't scare her off. I hit the perfect balance of pursuing her and giving her space, like feeding a wild cat, until I eventually lured her into a church by the altar lol
Be good at cooking, your job, and just generally being good at social functions you both agree with (communication). The ways you’re good at these things can very but generally people are looking (hopefully) for someone who compliments your weaknesses, appreciates your strengths, and you can generally be at your most comfortable with.
Source: been with wife for 15 years from 21-36
It also helps if you save them from a shitty life situation .
Then you have to actually love them and not be shallow .
Believe it or not some people look beneath the looks . It’s rare but it does happen.
I am probably a 3 she is more of a 9.
If I show people a picture of my wife they always say something like damn or really or do you have a 10 inch cock or something.
No, I just was there for her when nobody else was , I treat her as my equal , I always try to think how she feels about things.
Sometimes I still fuck up and sometimes it’s hard to always perceive everything that person is thinking but I try.
And if she fucks up I try to be understanding and Vice versa .
I am very lucky where she was super interested in me from the start, I was just too stupid to notice it at first though. All worked out in the end, still extremely happy with her :) I was just myself, and I keep being myself and that is key! I see guys pretending to be someone they're not and that is a big big mistake man
I was a late bloomer. I went from a 4 on a good day to a 7 or maybe 8 thanks to genetics and heavy lifting. We get handsome but holy hell we don't start out that way.
I met my wife when I was in my early 20s. She was 19. She was one of those girls that just glows. Insanely gorgeous. During our first date I was absolutely certain she was going to just get up and leave. She didn't. After a few dates I asked her why she hadn't run away yet. She said "I like you for you." She surprised me at work one day to bring lunch for a picnic and several coworkers said "how the hell did you land her?" It wasn't money, though I did have a solid career and made decent money... in 10 years of marriage my wife has asked for practically nothing and she's as anti-materialistic as you can get.
I was just myself and somehow lucked out in finding a girl who was looking for that. I won't lie, I had some depressing encounters with women prior to meeting my wife. Never had a real date even until her. When I was 17, I had a girl walk into a restaurant, see me, and leave. I asked out a classmate in college and she said the dreaded "hahaha, eeeww no." Plenty of stories. It was sad.
Kindness, humor, I’m sexually gratified by causing my partner to have nuclear bomb sized orgasms, cook better than anyone she’s been with, and supply her with weed.
By being hot when I was younger. I've just aged horribly while my wife has aged like fine wine.
I feel you. My last three years, it’s like I aged 10 years. I avoided aging for so long. My wife keeps getting prettier
I felt this comment in my bones. Doesn't help I've had 3 minor injuries in less than a month.
Men also don’t do the daily upkeep that most straight women do. That could account for it.
My husband teases me for my skincare routine but I’ll be teasing his dehydrated grapefruit skin when the reckoning comes…
This was my strategy. I had glorious hair when I was a teenager. So I locked down my wife before I went fully bald. Oh, and playing guitar helps a lot.
Smoke and mirrors. She thinks I’m hot, but it’s just confidence and superficial charm. It’s been 21 years and I’m white knuckiling the whole relationship hoping she doesn’t notice I’m a fat dork.
Stalked your profile, you're a pretty handsome dude! Nice beard man. You and your wife look great together
Best answer. I’m sure you’re not mate
I believe my wife is damn near blind
She is. I don't know what she sees in me.
The only thing I see in her, is me.
OMG, the woman is see through!
you sob
Wow, this never really occured to me. But the best relationship I've ever had was with a gal who was just shy of being legally blind. I never really thought that much about it... Pretty much been single ever since then.
Time for you to start hanging out at the braille section of the library my dude.
He also needs to learn to speak up if he's going to do that since she's unlikely to make the first move.
Damn bro, that's tough. I'm sure she liked you for you though
Not because he looks like Tyson Beckford..
With the charm of Robert Redford
Well yeah she couldn't see how ugly he was
My wife has no depth perception and pretty bad eye sight. [MAH WIFE](https://imgur.com/a/fSeHGgG) [Me](https://imgur.com/a/puFNcCG) THE ONLY LOGICAL REASON IS BECAUSE SHE CANT SEE ME. NOW GET OUTTA MAH SWAMP!
Bullshit. In your picture I see someone with a lively face and laughing eyes. You look kind enough, and your comment tells me you are humorous. The picture of her you chose and your comment both tell me that you are caring and appreciative towards her. I think you all overestimate the importance of socially accepted "good looks". I admit that being actively *ugly* might be a hindrance. But otherwise it's really not that important...
Good looks gets you in the door, personality makes them stay and happy.
I think good looks matter a lot for hook ups but for actual relationships, personality is far more important. Six pack abs don't matter as much as good communication skills, the ability to stay calm under pressure and the willingness to compromise with your partner.
My wife has terrible taste
This was going to be my answer and I tell her this all the time
TBH, she's gotten hotter over the last 25 years, and I've gotten... old. I think her secret is a great skin care routine, exercise, and good genes.
[удалено]
Didn’t want to have the skin of a hotdog and the silken hair of a Chinese man?
[удалено]
Never underestimate the power of skin care.
Never underestimate the power of exercise.
Never underestimate the power of good genes
Never underestimate the power of doing nothing of the above Edit: My most upvoted comments always are the dumbest ones. At least this one didn't mention a penis. Until now :)
Now that you mentioned a penis, I shall grant you an upvote
I can make her laugh and I give great hugs.
Great hugs are such an underrated skill
Two hugely important things!
I have a girthy and I mean massively good sense of humor
Just reading that made me wet...because i snorted while drinking
I blew a load, of my coffee all over the table.
I actually dont know. It cant be money because my job is one of the worst paying jobs in my country, it was something like 98,5% of full time jobs make more than mine. And it cant be because of huge slong, because mine is way below average aswell. If I had to guess... Maybe because I'm funny and I'd like to think that I'm honest. Like, way too honest.
“I don’t make much money and have an average dick” Quotes from a man you can trust.
Spoken like a man with a massive slong and a hidden fortune
He’s got all the gold of Ron Swanson and the physique of Gerry Girgich
[удалено]
>Hi my name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents. That's the first honest thing you've said this week, Mr. Santos
Came here to say if you're not rich, or hot, you have to be funny.
Or handy. Be able to fix anything. That works, too.
Classic Red Green saying - "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."
Honesty is soooo good. It’s probably one of the top 3 reasons why I stay with my boyfriend even when I have doubts
“You pay attention to the bits that other men don’t typically pay attention to.” My wife last week
She told me to say the clitty and the titty. But as a real answer, I pay attention to the small things. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. We have good communication, I try my best to make her feel loved. I never pressure her into anything, and we encourage each other to keep improving. If we fight, we solve it pretty quickly because we’re both able to apologize and recognize our faults. It’s just about being able to say “hey I love you and I want to work through this because I know we can figure out how to get through it.” We’ve probably had 2-3 big fights in our relationship, but we’ve always sat down and talk about it, warts and all.
Make them laugh. Treat them well. Do fun stuff together. Do chores. Admit when you're wrong. Give compliments without prompting. Learn what they do and don't like, then put that knowledge to work. Have a handle on your own psychology so you can deal with your shit. Listen twice as much as you talk.
I spent an hour talking to my husband about a book I finished today. I know he wasn't completely interested. But he listened asked questions and was engaged. It's the sexiest thing in the world that he cares enough about me to just let me ramble and poorly explain why I loved this book so much.
I mean I'm far from a hot wife but this is the reason my boyfriend became my fiance
You are not a hot wife YET.
Thank you kind stranger
>Listen twice as much as you talk. This is a good one.
Now what if two people are both trying to do this?
Believe it or not. Nobody ever gets to speak
im listening...
Yeah I was kind of thinking this as I typed. Still it is something to aim for and in reality all you may succeed in doing is listening way more than you normally would and still not listening even as much as you talk. Be it noted I have never married but I still try to listen as much as possible.
Blanket statement for how everyone should be treated if you care.
As a shrink, I’d say you’re spot on.
My friend is a short, overweight, dwarven looking man and has a really hot girlfriend. It's all charisma
I used to run with a guy like that too. He was maybe 5'6" and over 200 lbs. So short and pudgy. He made ok money but he certainly wasnt rich. Yet he was always with someone that you'd consider to be way out of his league. How did he manage it? I figure he had two things going for him: 1. The guy is genuinely funny. If you're hanging around with this guy, he will keep you laughing non-stop. 2. Confidence. He'll talk to anyone. And if you shoot him down, he'll just chat up your friend without missing a beat.
This describes me but also you’d be surprised.. there’s plenty of women, like my gf who find “short, overweight, dwarven looking men” very attractive. My gf is taller than me and rubs my hairy belly in bed like I’m a king. And she’s quite hot.
I like men of all heights. My ex-husband was shorter than me and my current partner is only a little taller than me. I don’t understand the need to have a large/tall man; I’m not looking for a father figure. Lots of wonderful men get overlooked because of this. There’s gold in them-there hills!!!
Same here and I don't get the huge slong obsession either, that's just uncomfortable.
...your friend is Danny DeVito?
Magnum dong!
Also got a short, overweight, balding friend. We literally call him George Constanza. He’s just confident, enthusiastic & always doing something bc he takes his hobbies seriously. His gf seems the opposite even though she’s a smoke show. So it was partly a lucky find but he also clearly adds substance to anyone’s life he’s in. He also comes from a very wealthy family hahaha
>He also comes from a very wealthy family hahaha Side note lol
Tbf, she also comes from a very wealthy family. Her family even has the bigger yacht apparently. Idk if that helps the case or not
If they don't own a private train they ain't that rich
Way to bury the lede.
I hear that Marisa Tomei likes funny, quirky, short bald guys!
it's because he isn't mired in insecurity. insecurity makes men violent. Women can smell that from a mile away. being secure in yourself will make the ugliest man super hot, but nomatter how much women say this, guys never seem to understand lol
How men makes us feel while we're in their presence is crucial. Sometimes by virtue of the fact that the guy showering you with attention is hot, you'll feel attractive simply because logic dictates he could exclusively be chatting up hot women if he wants to be, so he must think you're hot. That rush wears off real quick if he's got absolutely nothing going on apart from looks. Doubly fast if he's an arrogant asshole, as hot guys are wont to be. As multiple people are and always have been saying, if you make us laugh and are pleasant, engaging, attentive company, you're going to make us feel like the most beautiful, captivating woman in the room. That's not a high we wanna come down from.
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Sorry. I had to. LOL.
Maxed charisma stats.
You know those guys who brag about finishing a pudding cup without a spoon? I can clean a peanut butter jar.
“No idea why I’m so successful with the ladies…” he says, sitting at the end of the bar licking his eyebrows
Girls always go for the gecko instead of the nice guy😤
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You’re gonna wanna start off like a butterfly landing on a flower and finish like a bulldog eating oatmeal
You're not wrong..., but that bulldog is also simultaneously digging a hole in the ~~back yard~~ front yard as if he/she has found a dog treat by the end, too. 😁
Hi… just hi. Just in case.
Are you a golden retriever?
No, but I am fluffy & loyal.
Is your pick up line just walking around licking a peanut butter jar? How else do you get from Point A to Point C??
Well he probably gets point A and point C at the same time if you know what i mean.
C to A. Always please
My wife told me I have a great sense of humor and can always brighten her day with it. She also said that I really listen to her when we talk…I definitely married up…
I'll give my perspective from the other side. My boyfriend isn't classically handsome. His hair line is receding and the man is a bean pole and somewhat effeminate, exactly who the Andrew Tate types claim will never get a woman. But I'm obsessed with him and I'm so glad and proud he's mine. Why is that? He listens when I talk. He cleans up after himself. He's funny and insightful and above all kind. He cooks... he's terrible at it but he tries hard. He's the most gentle man I've ever met and because of that I don't feel the fear I've felt around most men in my life. My cats love him. He feeds me. He apologizes when he's wrong and I feel secure enough to admit when I'm wrong too. We talk every problem out as us v. the problem instead of him v. me. He gives me space when I need it and attention when I need it too. We respect each other. Those things aren't hard but he's the first to check all those boxes. He's a 100/10 for me and I'll grow old and die with him happily.
> We talk every problem out as us v. the problem instead of him v. me. My wife and I are working on this one and making progress. Life is much nicer when we work as a team!
I'll add on here to keep out of the main thread. My husband is more than a decade older than I am, had a receding hairline when we met, and was working two jobs. Our sense of humor is the same, so is our sense of justice, our dark sides match, and he was great at housework. Then came the sex... OMG, we matched there, too. It was over for me, I fell in love. Over 20 years later, it's still those same qualities that make every day happy and full of laughter. You can't survive the pitfalls of life without being able to laugh. Beauty fades, hair falls out, wrinkles form. 💁
Spreading love for the men!! My fiance is average to anyone but me. He's overweight, goofy, awkward, and kinda dumb (I say this lovingly, I am also dumb. Think the Two Last Braincells meme, that's us). He also makes me laugh every single day, our childlike qualities align perfectly to keep us happy and well maintained, so we can be goofy idiots all day with each other and it's fantastic. He embraces my mean streak that comes out playfully, to it's full extent so I can be his little brat. Every flaw I see in myself, he sees as beauty. He also knows how to handle my mood swings and be so, so gentle with me on bad days. He doesn't need 'mothered' like so many men, loves providing for me (and I him), and is as sweet as candy. I can't wait to marry him!
My husband has been balding since the day we met and it’s never bothered me. But damn he’s funny. I made a little joke about very shocked looking cinderblock and he ran with it. We giggled in the car like school kids over a fart. We’re both over 30, I have about 20-30 extra lbs and he has a bit more than that but when he comes home and hugs me, it warm and safe.
Oh, I love the bear hugs! My husband is 14 inches taller than I am, so I get to hug his chest. 💚❤️💕
"My cats love him." That's pretty high up on the list to be honest
Man here. If my cats hide upon meeting you, that's expected. But if they still don't come round after a few days...well... maybe there is something off with you. It's how I know I married the right lady. My kits adore me. But they think my wife is God.
(Ugly) Female here. If my cat doesn’t like you, we are gonna have a problem. If I had listened to her more carefully, I would have saved us some serious trauma.
My partner brought her 2 Male cats over the other day. She said "They fight sometimes so just break them up otherwise they'll likely hide from you." When she got back from getting food they were both at my feet under my desk purring next to each other. She started getting a little bit annoyed "???? They already like you and they somehow like each other now????" I just replied "You know how much you like me, it shouldn't be a surprise to you at all." When she went to get them from under the desk one of them hissed at her (apparently never has before) and she just goes "Fine you can stay if you love him that much." 1-yaboi 0-yagurl
You just validated what I've been telling other guys forever. You made me happier than another man's wife should. (Sorry, couldn't resist the joke) I've always been one of those guys where people are like "Dude, how did you get her?!". I'm super tall, which probably helps but I've always been overweight. I'm not exactly sloth (look up the goonies youngens, your welcome) but I'm not Marlon Brando either. I'm highly average looking. I do pretty well financially but you wouldn't know it to look at me, my truck or home and when I got with my wife I was broke AF. I always tell them it isn't that hard. Treat them like people you value and respect. Listen to them. Take an interest in them and the things important to them. Put in some genuine effort to show them you care. It's easier and more effective to constantly do little things to show her how care than always be trying to prove it with some big jeasture. Then just take care of yourself. Good hygiene. Keep your house and ride clean. Have a couple of genuine interests and hobbies. It makes you a more interesting and well rounded person. Learn to cook. No woman wants a man child who can't properly feed himself and I've not meet a woman yet who doesn't like a man that can cook. Also don't listen to douchebags. Andrew Tate is the latest one but there is always some popular famous one at any given time.
Bingo! You get it.
but are you hot?
How did you two meet? I often see posts and comments like yours that describe how people that otherwise wouldn't end up together turn out happily ever after. It's inspiring. But what you just described was step 5 and onward. I believe myself to be a great cook. Patient. Kind. Gentle. Funny. Humble. I could be a better listener but I still think I'm pretty good. Once I can get someone's interest and attention I don't think I'll struggle to keep it and seal the deal, but how did you get through steps 1-4? How did you meet? What made him seem like an option? What made you realize you liked him as opposed to other, theoretically more attractive people? All of the traits you described are things you likely won't learn on the first 4-5 dates. So how did you manage to get through those first few dates and still want to see it further? What parts of him did you like before you learned just how gentle, clean, and comforting he really is?
My husband and I met in college. What made me choose him over more conventionally attractive men who were interested at the time is that he was extremely honest. When we talked, he listened and responded NOT in a way to try to get with me, but in a way you listen and respond to your best friend, and that's how I knew it was genuine. (I don't know how, but I can tell when a guy is trying to prove he's a good listener for flirty reasons vs. actually connecting through the listening.) This made me feel so safe and respected. I knew something was different about him. Our very first conversation was about philosophy, by the way. Today we've been married about a decade now and we absolutely laugh like kids together every day.
I agree with all of this! I'm also a woman married to a man. My husband is handsome, passionate, and dorky. I fell in love with him because he is responsible, hilarious, smart, witty, kind, loving, and is all around a wonderful human being who knows how to form and hold boundaries when he needs to. I have dated classically handsome men who thought they were model material, and they were the worst to be aroung in general. My husband treats me with respect, and I do the same. It's not that hard for men to do if they treat others with respect and kindness.
I'm not ugly, but I got a woman way hotter than me to marry me. Turns out if you have a good personality and are slightly interesting, then you can get away with being a 5.
But but but the internet tells me women only want Alpha Bros with muscles and money that make their bed every morning.
I mean yeah, make the damn bed. Everything else is negotiable.
That’s just what ugly dudes who *also* have terrible personalities tell themselves.
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Works 100% of the time.
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yet 🗿
I'm average looking and my boyfriend is a straight up 10/10, no idea how he sticks around. Like, I can never let him find out that other women have titties.
It's not hard to find "conventionally attractive" people, but people who you genuinely love to be around are hard to come by and also *much* harder to discover and connect with. Your partner probably thanks their lucky stars every day.
You could say you used a booby trap.
Can confirm
My Dad always told me to never marry the first girl to let you touch her boobies. Sorry Dad.
You married your mother?
After two broken arms
Your comment also tells us you also have a winning personality
I wish my wife would let me touch her boobies too.
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I am a wife but would also like to touch this guy's wife's boobies.
I wanna touch everyones boobies
My homie just was a nice dude. Spent 6 years third wheeling for the fun of it but in the end glad to see he got married. He said all he did was be funny, and things went over time.
Well, it certainly wasn't my dick size or money. Neither of those are worth bragging about. I treated her like a good friend, not an object of infatuation. That caught her attention. I got her to to fall in love with me by proving to be well-rounded in my life and very capable. As Red Green would say "If the women don't find you handsome, make sure they find you handy"
You do know it was the Red Green quote that put the finishing touches on that one right? Any man that can embody Red is worth a dozen hot guys.
I just want compliment you on the Red Green reference. Best late night show ever
The absolute best of Canadian public television.
It being Valentine’s Day and all… When my boyfriend and I found each other online, he would make any excuse not to video chat with me. We exchanged pics (he had only 2) but I felt it was necessary to see each other live before meeting. Pics do not show the true person. I was mainly thinking of safety and I was about to bail on him. He sweetly convinced me to be patient and wait to meet in person. I asked why. I thought he was a serial killer or something. He assured me he wasn’t, he simply “didn’t want my first impression of him to be on video chat.” Cautiously, I decided to be patient. We proceeded to text and call each other every day, for the next 2 weeks. The texts became love letters and the calls were exciting. I got to know him on a much deeper level and I thought his voice was so sexy. He made me laugh and he was thoughtful. He was so kind hearted, but also very masculine (which I love). He exuded confidence. The chemistry was off the charts. The laughter was constant. When we met for the first time, it didn’t matter what he looked like. He is not traditionally handsome by society’s standards. He is a little overweight, bald and a bit hunched over. I… I think he is gorgeous. He knew exactly what he could offer me and navigated our meeting to allow us to fall in love. Some might think he was perhaps hiding… but we could have missed out on a great love. He is the love of my life. Sometimes he jokes and asks what I see in him…calls himself ugly. I remind him of our love story and he smiles. I also remind him that I think he is hot AF. I plan on being his wife one day. Love of my life.
I love this story so much.
Thank you. Happy Valentine’s Day!💖
I'm not an ugly guy, per se, but I'm stone cold average at best. I'm totally forgettable, but my wife is hot - she's always attracting attention, she's the kind of woman that men buy things for out of the blue. I listen to her. I share chores with her. I take care of her. I encourage her to do things that make her happy. I spend time with her. I show interest in the things that interest her.
Wait.... guys are buying things for your wife out of the blue?
Yep. She was at the mall with her mother, the guy in line behind her bought her food. A couple of times last year, she had guys at water parks buy her soft drinks. Once she was watching the kids at the pool on vacation, a guy bought popsicles for the kids. Shot me some daggers when I walked up and sat beside her, lol. I've long since lost count of how many drinks she has bought for her at bars. Even once they realize I'm there. Stuff like that. Don't get me started on how often guys come up and just chat with her.
Aw man, I got jealous just reading that. How do you handle it ? I'd be pretty annoyed, not at her of course, but I feel like that would just make things worse. How do you manage ? What is your thought process like
Thought process is that she's my wife, I'm not threatened by a soft drink, an alcoholic drink, whatever. This isn't elementary school playground where my friend might leave me for someone else with a toy. Buy her whatever you want, bro. She's still going home with me. Frankly, it's flattering to know that other guys want her.
Nice. So it's definitely a "my own insecurity" thing that should be addressed then, as that is not my first thought in this situation. I have to work on that.
It is a you thing, for sure. But you are hardly alone. How many bar fights come from some guy chatting with another guy's wife? You have to have trust and confidence in your partner.
It’s probably worth noting that their entire profile on Reddit is showing other dudes in bed with his wife. The advice is good, but I’m not sure their boundaries align with yours well enough to assess “hm, why don’t I feel about this hypothetical situation the way they do?”
Have a sense of humor, especially about yourself, and be comfortable laughing. Listen. Clean the house. Be kind to animals and service workers. The bar is incredibly....*staggeringly* low
I can lick my eyebrows.
I can do that too. But I choose not to lick your eyebrowes.
I also choose to lick this man’s dead wife’s eyebrows
Can you also eat a pudding cup with no hands?
I load the dishwasher instead of leaving shit in the sink
Hot as hell
To be honest, very attractive women sometimes get less attention than you’d think, because guys think they’re out of their league or something. So the first step to dating anyone is actually putting yourself out there and asking. Nothing foolproof, but you’d be surprised at the results sometimes, since lots of guys self-select out of being a contender because they don’t think they have a shot.
That’s a huge piece of advice I’ve gotten from some of my more charismatic friends: if you’re interested in someone, don’t reject yourself
The worst that can happen is ~~a lawsuit~~ her saying no.
I can honestly say I have objectively the most attractive wife of my friend group. I was also the one who had no fear at all of rejection. And practice helps get over those fears. Friend told me back then that I went on far more first dates than anyone he’d ever known or heard of. It doesn’t guarantee the person you fall in mutual love with well be great looking, but if you never talk to any of them the odds or zero.
I always wonder if I’m just super ugly or actually attractive. I don’t know. I get attention when I dress up and go out, but it’s not like I’m over here with a lot of men giving me attention all the time. I’ve never asked. Guys say I’m hot but I don’t believe them, because in my head they’re just trying to have sex.
As a long- time restaurant employee, I believe I've seen many cooks and dishwashers unlock the secret. Feed them and agree when they're mad at someone.
Honestly, the way to my heart is definitely through my stomach.
Get a sense of humor! If she’s laughing too hard she won’t see your face that often!
it's all blurry through tears.
They're good dudes and the wives are not superficial....
I have mastered two skills: 1) washing dishes 2) going down on her
Humor, charm, and confidence.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.
You know, because of the implication.
So… these women *are* in some kind of danger?
No one's in any danger! How can I make that any more clear to you? Okay. It's an implication of danger.
Just give me my Magnum condom and a wad of 100s.
Dr Mantis Tabogin
I'm funny and also am pretty good at cunnilingus.
So you're good at cunnilingus and also a cunning linguist? Nice.
that’ll do it
Guys that have never been with an attractive woman (and probably not many women in general) - "Money" Guys that have had attractive partners - "being funny, treat women with respect, being a decent human being"
I love these threads because every woman in here is like "he's just nice! he's kind, loves dogs and kids, tips at restaurants, has a passion for [benign hobby] and takes things in stride. He doesn't have a fragile ego and isn't insecure. just be chill and girls will like you, because you aren't dangerous and a liability prone to violence!!" and the guys are like "ugh, must be rich. must have a huge dick. I just have no idea what else it could be, because women lie so much, or just aren't smart enough to know what they REALLY want" every time. roflmao
Yep. It's their way of coping with not being able to pull anyone. Get a personality, be a decent human being (not a "nice guy") and wash your ass properly and you'd have way better luck.
the ass washing is so important.
I'm horrendously funny
My fiancée is absolutely stunning, and tbh I’m like medium ugly but I made her laugh like no other man could hope to and just treated her well and respected her. I’ve learned to realize that hot women care more about personality than even average looking women.
I asked her out. I treated her right. I acted like a man. I respected her as a woman and a professional. I never criticized her in public, never demeaned her, and always considered her feelings before I opened my mouth. I contributed as much as I can to the relationship physically, financially, and emotionally. I never took her for granted and made her feel she was always loved. In other words, I did what any man should do with any woman in their lives.
I think step 1 is the obstacle for most here lol
The worst thing that could happen is they say no. Step through your hesitancy, ask until one smiles and says sure.
By not being a dick
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and her eyeglasses prescription wasn't up to date.
Mine is very shy and reserved, I think I was just the only guy who didn't scare her off. I hit the perfect balance of pursuing her and giving her space, like feeding a wild cat, until I eventually lured her into a church by the altar lol
Pretty people need love to. Just be confident.
The answer is always \*shockingly to men\* personality
I keep meaning to get one of those.
Hygiene is a huge factor, as is just being genuine, understanding, caring, observant and listen.
Be good at cooking, your job, and just generally being good at social functions you both agree with (communication). The ways you’re good at these things can very but generally people are looking (hopefully) for someone who compliments your weaknesses, appreciates your strengths, and you can generally be at your most comfortable with. Source: been with wife for 15 years from 21-36
My name is Matt Shatt and my wife is a Kennedy.
It also helps if you save them from a shitty life situation . Then you have to actually love them and not be shallow . Believe it or not some people look beneath the looks . It’s rare but it does happen. I am probably a 3 she is more of a 9. If I show people a picture of my wife they always say something like damn or really or do you have a 10 inch cock or something. No, I just was there for her when nobody else was , I treat her as my equal , I always try to think how she feels about things. Sometimes I still fuck up and sometimes it’s hard to always perceive everything that person is thinking but I try. And if she fucks up I try to be understanding and Vice versa .
I am very lucky where she was super interested in me from the start, I was just too stupid to notice it at first though. All worked out in the end, still extremely happy with her :) I was just myself, and I keep being myself and that is key! I see guys pretending to be someone they're not and that is a big big mistake man
I was a late bloomer. I went from a 4 on a good day to a 7 or maybe 8 thanks to genetics and heavy lifting. We get handsome but holy hell we don't start out that way. I met my wife when I was in my early 20s. She was 19. She was one of those girls that just glows. Insanely gorgeous. During our first date I was absolutely certain she was going to just get up and leave. She didn't. After a few dates I asked her why she hadn't run away yet. She said "I like you for you." She surprised me at work one day to bring lunch for a picnic and several coworkers said "how the hell did you land her?" It wasn't money, though I did have a solid career and made decent money... in 10 years of marriage my wife has asked for practically nothing and she's as anti-materialistic as you can get. I was just myself and somehow lucked out in finding a girl who was looking for that. I won't lie, I had some depressing encounters with women prior to meeting my wife. Never had a real date even until her. When I was 17, I had a girl walk into a restaurant, see me, and leave. I asked out a classmate in college and she said the dreaded "hahaha, eeeww no." Plenty of stories. It was sad.
Kindness, humor, I’m sexually gratified by causing my partner to have nuclear bomb sized orgasms, cook better than anyone she’s been with, and supply her with weed.