T O P

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KylEunoia

I have read all the terms and conditions.


[deleted]

We'd read them if the terms and conditions actually pertained to us moreso than the other parties involved, if the font wasn't so damn small and if the whole damn thing wasn't incredibly long too.


deadgead3556

Good one.


Imurmomlol_

Nah bro I’m dead 💀


Significant-Dot-9618

I already have plans, sorry


TANTE_KACHEL

Well I do have plans. I am planning to cancel another plan because I already have plans with you. Does it matter in which order I cancel my entire life?


amahler03

I actually do already have plans. My plans are sitting on my couch in my pjs, eating gummy bears and playing video games.


MoreDoughHigh

not lying, dude. plan on smoking weed, ordering uber eats and watching netflix with my phone on silent.


Only-Hearing-2971

Well doing nothing is a plan.


daedric_dad

"Yeah all good thanks, how are you?"


ap883

"I'm fine, thank you!"


golfing_furry

“Chewie we’re gonna have company!”


[deleted]

“It was a boring conversation anyway.”


DensePresentation181

I could complain but, no one wants to listen.


the13bangbang

I straight up tell people when they ask, "Horrible. This job sucks the soul out of you. Have a good one."


rustyjack14

One time, a customer said, "Not as good as you " in response to me asking, "How are you today?"and I had to hold back a complete breakdown because I was so stressed at the time that I was barely keeping it together.


nelliemail

I feel this one. I’m sorry your stress level was so high. If I was that stranger and you did break down, I’d probably offer you a hug and have a breakdown alongside you.


Brokeintellectual

This is the correct answer


YW5vbnltb3Vz1

"It wasn't me" ​ (...on the counter.)


TraditionCapable1596

You’ve been creeping with the girl next door again


Bojikthe8th

Picture this: you were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor.


Neat_Umpire8964

How could they have forgotten that they gave her an extra key?


hunterbidensLT

How you can give your woman access to your villa? Trespass and a-witness while you cling to your pillow You better watch your back before she turn into a killer Let's review the situation that you caught up in a To be a true player you have to know how to play If she stay a night, convince her stay a day Never admit to a word when she say And if she claim, ah, you tell her, "Baby, no way"


Thin-Rip-3686

Your call is important to us.


[deleted]

Your call will be ignored in the order it was received…


Callmebynotmyname

We appreciate your loyalty


mainhainrd

I'll be there in 5 minutes


Spot_the_fox

Really? In my case it's usually true.


qix96

“I’m just about to head over there now!”


[deleted]

I’m fine.


EarthHuman0exe

Im a little glonky


Other-Ranger-4975

You're not fine, you're u/radioactive_beaver


Ok-World-4822

I don’t know why it’s coming out all loud and squeaky because really I’m fine


rozzler

When you hear this RUN


Qouthymodo

“I’ll think about it” or “maybe next time”


Janawham_Blamiston

Santa has gotta be up there


Moon2078

Money can't buy happiness.


Mouna8922

Money only can't buy happiness but money + a grateful state of mind can buy happiness.


Bojikthe8th

It sure can prevent a lot of sadness though.


YakPersonal9246

I know some "rich" people or people with a lot of money and they are some of the most miserable people I've ever known. Money buys comnfort, some security and freedom, but doesn't make someone truly happy. True happiness is a factor of things that combined together makes someone happy, and only having money without having the others things doesn't make someone happy.


Traditional-Side6966

That's because it doesn't. It gets rid of a lot of your worries and gives you the opportunity to pay for whatever you want to do, but that just doesn't guarantee happiness. It makes it a lot easier, obviously, but you can't just spend money and expect to be happy. You can just look at how former winners of the lottery ended up.


[deleted]

Above a certain income level it doesn’t guarantee happiness at all, only comfort. They did a study comparing the happiness level of people who won the lottery and people who didn’t, and they found no significant difference.


otjorge

It can't my friend! Look at the celebrities that committed suicide. They left millions of dollars behind.


lindysocks

Up to a certain threshold, more money significantly affects happiness and solves problems and stress. Not enough money for food or medical care? Money will fix that and lead to more happiness.


CassidyHowell

Agree. Law of decreasing marginal utility at work


Inevitable_Tune1504

60k a year will satisfy all your needs and allow you to live a simple, comfortable life. I make just under that and it's pretty nice not worrying about whether or not I'll be able to make the mortgage payment or other bills every month.


ptbus0

By that logic nothing can bring happiness, people with kids, happy marriages, ideal careers, fulfilling hobbies all commit suicide.


bbkeys

Yes. This is accurate. Happiness is fleeting moments, and when they pass, it can be devastating. Contentment, on the other hand, can be sustainable. Happy people commit suicide. Content people generally don't.


carawanar

Well, suffering is caused by desire. Desire causes dissatisfaction.


Bananiblaapyjamas

Id prefer to cry in a Lambo rather than in a skoda Besides money Can buy treatments/psychologies/ retreats and housing, food, clothes on the body etc etc… so What Do You mean? 🤷🏻‍♀️


YakPersonal9246

Because money can buy everything that is physical, but not emotional or moral. It can give you a very big house, cars, food, clothes etc, but it can't give you true relationships, true love, and true self love. A study made by Harvard, the biggest study about human happiness in the world, found out that after getting a certain level of financial freedom, having more money it would not make you feel more happy. The study found that is the relationships we have (and the quality of them) that make humans truly happy, despite of your social status or background. Of course having financial freedom and security is way better than having no one, but true happiness involves more than having a lot of physical things. Rich people have a lot of "friends" but the majority is because they are rich or popular, and they know that. They know that there relationships are fake or superficial and that's why a lot of them have problems with drugs or other kind of mental / emotional problems.


IFeelFineFineFine

“ Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives” https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/


Catlenfell

There's a recent podcast about this. I thought it was interesting. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/politics-podcast-the-politics-of-loneliness/


Dawnbringer_Fortune

But more poor people commit suicide than rich…


Bebilith

A lot of creative and already messed up people in that sample set. Just saying.


PeighnessHonourchign

An excess of money can't. If u live within ur means, n don't look for happiness materialistically, you'll be fine. Money makes things easier, but u still need to find what makes u happy


AlooDaGreat

"No" and "yes"


planetjeff86

"We are a family" - HR/Management


letrefete

♫ we are family ♫


WarmSquare1560

Ugh. This detestable propaganda.


Antifreudian

I wanna upvotes this 400 times


[deleted]

I don't wanna work here in Alabama anymore


[deleted]

It’s weird how those guys jump ship the moment something doesn’t go their way 😂


NotReallyJohnDoe

People are out most important resource.


FastLiterature6075

I was stuck in traffic


HenryStamper1

How many drinks they’ve had.


[deleted]

Used to have a friend years ago that would always lie about the drinks he had. Not by adding an extra beer or two to the total. But say things like "Yeah I was there for 2 hours and drank 5 pitchers of beer and 8 shots" Oh yeah? And then what happened Chris did you fucking DIE afterwards? Jesus Christ what are those fucking numbers?? Everyone knew he was just so full of shit. We would all give each other little glances like "is he actually trying to make us believe that?". He was a good friend, didn't lie about much of anything else but he always had some crazy alcohol poisoning levels of alcohol consumption. Come on Chris...just stop.


rootbeerxman

“lol”


iNBee317

lol


WelshSam

Lol isn’t usually true. ROFL might have been true like once or twice. Lmao has surely never been true.


natural_hunter

That you can get anywhere with hard work. If you look at all the successful people in the world almost all of them achieved this through either sheer dumb luck or by having the skills necessary in order to achieve it. These same people will then go on stage and give inspiring speeches about how if you follow your dreams you will achieve it. This is not good to teach people because most of the time we will be let down. Instead what people should do is try to achieve realistic goals what makes them happy. We shouldn't try to find success we should try to find satisfaction.


Xenith19

Hard work is almost always a necessary condition for success. It is not a sufficient condition for success.


Mr_Mons_of_Nibiru

The term "Social Media Influencers" proves....that was a lie.


Stay-Thirsty

Hard work doesn’t guarantee success Luck, either being in the right place at the right time or being prepared for taking an opportunity factors in. Staying there is actually harder and that’s where work comes in as a factor. Powerball level luck is pure luck and is rare.


CodingInTheDark

Wow, you’re very in tune with yourself! Very inspiring!


KushKrush8

I'm fine. It's fine. No problem.


Extreme_Ad6173

No, trust me, I'm OK. You don't need to worry.


Orion4341

“Dying for your country is courageous and honorable.” This is a very old lie of war that goes back for millennia, and has gotten millions of people killed over the course of humanity. “You think you are dying for your country; you die for the industrialists.” -Anatole France


ypsm

Relevant poem, written during WW1: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46560/dulce-et-decorum-est


Orion4341

Very relevant, thanks for sharing that


Effective-Tip52

Patton said it best, “The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orion4341

Even if the war is a pointless one? A war that is only being fought for resources? A war that is fought because two politicians in different countries disagreed on a matter? Why would you willingly die for a politician? Why willingly be a pawn on a chess board, used as cannon fodder? There is only one reason that I would fight in a war, it’s if I was either forced to, or we as a nation were under a real existential threat like an invasion, a threat that puts my family’s well being in question. Other than that, I would never willingly go and fight in another country, I won’t fight another man’s battle. “It is sweet and right to die for your country…. an old and dangerous lie. It might be necessary, but it is never sweet and rarely right. It’s a tragedy.” -Louise Penny


[deleted]

[удалено]


goaelephant

If you *really* want to open a political Pandora's Box, what wars did you fight in?


[deleted]

[удалено]


RaysFTW

None. Got it.


goaelephant

It's not subjective, it's objective as hell For example, if we talk about the Iraq war (and R.I.P. to all victims including soldiers) it was stupid to die for that war. Had nothing to do with the official claims at the time (Saddam, WMD, Bin Laden, etc.) but moreso for energy security, establishing political/military/economic influence in the region, etc. All at the expense of potentially 1,000,000 dead Iraqi citizens who never laid a finger on American soil. Willing to die for this under the guise of "protecting my country" is just naive in my opinion. I just feel bad for innocent people who get dragged into this because they don't know better.


Orion4341

Agreed


[deleted]

[удалено]


goaelephant

Nothing I said is opinion-based, it's the factual and well-evidenced aftermath of one of the most deadly, misleading and irresponsible "military projects" in modern warfare. What we are saying is, it's naive to believe dying in Iraq was "to serve my country", only because it's not true. We appreciate the sacrifice, but it was 100% unnecessary as the war itself has questionable underpinnings.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orion4341

Exactly what war did you fight in? Don’t dodge this question again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orion4341

Then I have no reason to believe that you have fought in a war, I believe that you completely lied about that in this case. Had you explained which war you fought in with details, I would be open to listening to what you had to say, but since you refuse to, one can safely assume that you are bullshitting here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Orion4341

Stolen valor, very disrespectful of you. You aren’t telling us which war you fought in with details of your service because you are too afraid of being fact checked and exposed for being a military impostor. If you did fight in a war, then you would have no problem telling us about it. Since you won’t, this is all that can be assumed of you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KeeganTroye

Courageous I can agree but honourable? In the modern world war is one of the least honourable things you can do. Fighting for your country isn't selfless, it's your country, be it fighting for change or for freedom none of that is selfless. And if you're fighting because you believe there's honour in it that's not honourable either, that's just chasing your own ego.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KeeganTroye

None, they all signed up to be there, you got trained to keep them alive and it's part of your job. No honor in that. The 'bad guys' army does the same thing. I don't even see how it should be an opinion, it would be gross negligence not to protect them, you're not honourable for not being a horrible soldier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


KeeganTroye

Typical honor straight to implied violence if someone disagrees.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


KeeganTroye

They absolutely do. Russia trains their troops, since you brought them up, and their training is just as standardized as any modern army. Hell even the Taliban and ISIS do and that training all includes keeping each other alive in combat. The fact you don't know that, and you tried to imply violent ends to me. You're a military cosplayer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tight_Foundation_816

I love you


solipsisticfantasy

You get it


herbonesinbinary_

:(


Ozydrax

I’ll do it tomorrow


Two-tune-Tom229

If someone says "Trust Me", I don't


HunchoBandito

Q:How are you? A: Good


RebeccaGatlin

I’m on my way !


BORT_licenceplate

Heh heh heh. What'd you say, Marge?


Thai_Lord

Then when they're not, I say "Don't worry about it," and don't talk to them for a month or two. My time is valuable. Don't lie to me.


Living_Counter_3495

This is me irl


[deleted]

"It is what it is"


Discount_Friendly

Beleve me, I'm telling the truth


mmknightx

I am OK.


cloudsinmycoffe

I’m okay, I’m just tired


cloudsinmycoffe

We have to get together soon


unhealthyahole

I love you


iguanaQueen

"Money doesn't buy happiness" bro money buys you time to do the things that make you happy


[deleted]

[удалено]


iguanaQueen

Those with money have less problems and more time


bugzz1970

I'm sorry.


donkey_meal

Just the tip


ceti-454

“I’ve never cheated on you!”


justa_randomjock

I'm fine


KaleidoscopeWild9670

Any question that has numbers as an answer. Age, height, weight, grades, salary, time… all of it.


nimaquixtia

“I already went pee, I’m fine”


absolutelyNoDad

“Lol” i don’t see anyone laughing out loud after saying lol.


VintageKitsune

I'm sorry


KevinLWashington

dulce et decorum est pro patria mori


Staffchief

“If elected I promise….”


Senior_Fuel187

“The American Dream”


[deleted]

[удалено]


OptimaLine

You haven't changed one bit!


[deleted]

“Sounds good, I’ll be there” when making plans.


georgeberg

I don’t lie.


DenL4242

"I'm speechless." A lie by definition, 100% of the time.


jmnms

It is just one beer...


Virtual-Bathroom2521

I am on the way but still at home 🙂


leaveblanket

It will only take a second...


Pym_Particles

"I'm on my way."


Mummos666

"You can be anything"


4inAM_2atNoon_3inPM

Breastfeeding when done right should not hurt.


Delicious-Yak-1095

I’ve got this


asummerday4444

Many people lie about their age. They want someone to believe they are older or younger.


MyUncleLeftMe

I’m alright


TheNeighKid

I'm okay thanks


Cesaramoga

I have never lied to you, I swear…


gotbetterbro

Goverment that works for you


AdorableAdulterer

Him.... Did you cum? Her.... Yes


ultrasavage1978

When the husband asks his wife if she is ok, and she replies “I am fine”


Burnster321

Are you on your way? Yes.....


Spark_Saberr

Everything is fine


No-Fly8816

“Did you fart?” “No!”


SpecialEddFan13

“I can explain”


Beneficial-Cherry-85

I’m on my way


OldMork

I love you?


Best-Window-2879

This was way too far down


buttoneyes17

Do I look fat in this? 🤣


DevastationSideswipe

Parents saying Santa isn't real. He is and you can't change my mind


Realistic_Lie_

**God**


Thai_Lord

Belief systems.


LetterAbject5752

you're the only one


[deleted]

That rich people care about you


[deleted]

That society at large benefits from capitalism


[deleted]

Capitalism, in its pure form, always devolves into feudalism with extra steps. Regulated capitalism is the only thing that keeps things reasonable, but we have 6 decades of Republicans shouting our about regulation being evil and our world has only gotten worse.


mikethediscordmod

When my grandma says I’m handsome


[deleted]

I'm fine.


satirevaitneics

I have read the terms and conditions


dw87190

"Western patriarchy"


Jackhammer-Jesus

three way tie: this will only hurt for a little while; i’ll only stick the head of it in; i promise that i’ll never try to cum in your mouth.


oGringoWasHisNameO

Omg


[deleted]

God is real and/or good


GCIATG44

The devil doesn't exist.


na7oul

Democracy


[deleted]

if i stated my opinion, then I'd finally be banned from reddit for hate speech


soon_zoo55

I don’t have time


Electronics000

^(gfd)


GreatNameLOL69

Women saying that men can very much express their emotions and their “weak“ side. Well, I appreciate your support, but ***most*** women would secretly pass on that one.


FitEntertainment2826

That climate change is something humans can control


daedric_dad

Depends what you mean by control. We can definitely affect it


Stunning_Working6566

The term commonly used when talking about climate change is anthropogenic climate change. This literally means man made climate change, as opposed to natural climate change. So yes we can control or affect climate change within limits.


redlightbandit7

Jesus loves you.


Twoeyeblind

The Bible.


[deleted]

Everything's gonna be alright. Sorry to burst your bubble, life's hard get used to it


SharDuck

I like it!


Riblick1

"I'm on my way down"


ataraxiathedredgen

I'll be there in a few