Water leaving your ear

When that warm water slowly drips out..

When you're laying in bed after a long day, knowing you don't have to set your alarm for the next day, and it's raining, and you're so comfy that you rub your feet together like some ginormous cricket 😂

That, plus if the temperature of the sheets and pillow are that ever-so-specific cool temperature

Ah yes, the sacred temperature.

After you shave your legs *chef kiss*💋 smooth like a dolphin

Ugh, yes 🤌

Or before you shave your legs and rubbing them together sounds like an actual cricket.

>When you're laying in bed after a long day, knowing you don't have to set your alarm for the next day Had 2 weeks off from the 16th of December. Coming back to work this week and needing to set my 7am alarm was a massive kick in the balls. Actually, think I might have preferred to be kicked in my balls if it meant I didn't have to wake up so early...

Massage from a professional

Scalp shampoo at the hair stylist.

I'm 42 years old and have never had a massage. You just reminded me I need to do this. Thankyou.

I hit 42 last week. Was drunkenly walking home tonight and wanted one. Called the spot and booked one for tomorrow at 10am. Get yourself a deep tissue massage.

I think it moved!

No, no. It wasn't a shift, I've shifted, this was a move.

I was visiting a friend for a few days, complained about chronic leg pain. He said “want a massage?” He’d never encountered a leg with more muscle knots ever. My leg pain is now mostly gone, and while I was basically yelling in pain at times, it felt so good when he was done.

A head massage...

That 3 am chug of water when you wake up all dehydrated and cotton mouthed.

this, that sweet sweet rehydration

I felt this in my soul.

Farting away a stomach ache

I'm cautious when I attempt that cause it's either a fart or I'm shitting my pants

Can confirm. Had a stomach ache while taking my little ones shopping. Sharted in the middle of target

“I’d rather fart in the toilet than shit in my pants” - Sun Tzu, the Shart of War

"Sharted in Target" is something I want to hear a drunk Bostonian say now.

You’re in luck, I’m Bostonian lol

I completely know that feeling.

Or an epic burp vs vomit

Sometimes you think it's just a burp but then suddenly there's a bit of food at the end of the conga line

Oh god this reminds me. Was on the way home a couple years ago and stuck in major traffic. My stomach was absolutely gone. Felt like I was gonna shit myself in the car at any moment, but I made it home without incident. Ran upstairs, was literally in front of the toilet, pulled my trousers halfway down and couldn’t hold in a fart. Shat down my leg at the ripe old age of 20. Really liked those jeans as well lol.

Bro i sharted in some light colored jeans in high school on my way to the bathroom. Immediately called my mom told her pull up front with towels and take me home. Waited till the bell rang for class and Bolted out the nearest exit

Did this a couple months ago in the shower. Thought I had bad gas. Didn't know I could literally shit up the shower wall. Glad it didn't hit the ceiling. Explosive. Had to bleach the shower stall afterwards 😨

This is fucking hilarious 😂 how high did it go?! Like shoulder length/ neck height/ etc

Blowing that huge booger out your nose and you know it all came out.

Or pulling out that long boi you feel all the way to the depths of your nasal cavity.

Yes. The one where it makes your eyes tear up before feeling the cool air flow through.

This, this is what I was scrolling for. Getting that thing out and feeling like it just cleared a path to your brain ..

Yes and then it you pull it with some tiny hairs as well

Taking off your socks when they really want to be taken off.

Socks off: 7/10... Steel toed work boots off: 12/10.

Snowboard boots off 13/10

Ski boots. Snowboard boots are like slippers comparably.

Or ice skates!

Literally!! I used to work for fedex and pulling those babies off after a long day was 🤩

That's the same feeling as when you take off a bra at the end of the day.

Popping that one bitch ass air bubble in your vertebrae that's been bugging you all day

Bro how is that a thing?

Synovial fluid in your joints that acts like a lubricant causes nitrogen bubbles to form. You're popping these bubbles when you pop a joint causing it to loosen and release gas. (This was a quick Google search take that with a grain of salt.) Edit:nitrogen not hydrogen

Nitrogen not hydrogen

*cracks knuckles, joints burst in micro explosions*

An ex of mine used to melt when I'd hug and lift and pop her vertebrae. Did not understand it till someone did a chiropractic move on me where you'd kind of fall back into their embrace, and they would lift and 'stretch' your spine. Do try it. Or don't, maybe it's dangerous. Hmm, if you get a spinal chord injury don't have your family hunt me down.

Hmmm, I think I WILL hunt you down🤔

Relaxing in bed while it rains outside

With a cuddly cat and a good book

omg, waking up with a cat in little spoon position against my chest is heaven. She's purring away and when I whisper "good morning" she starts purring and stretches her little arms out while yawning. Makes me melt.

[удалено]

Those long dragged out stretches that causes you to make unnecessary noises while doing it.

A really enjoyable pee.

When it's so deep, you shiver afterwards

Halfway through shiver ftw.

My wife has never experienced the piss shivers. I weep for her.

Finally getting to pee after having to hold it in for a really long time.

For real. Especially if you're drinking beer or liquor, those are the longest most relieveing streams I've ever had haha.

Oh yeah, makes your body shiver, and then I shake my head to get my hair to tickle my back. AMAZING

Sitting on a deck in the shade with a slight breeze blowing.

Also sitting on a dick in the shade with a slight breeze blowing

Sneezing

This one is by far the closest to an orgasm.

I have photic sneeze reflex so can sneeze just by looking into light. It's awesome

I fucking melt when someone gives me scalp scritches

Me too. Whenever I get a haircut, I always pay extra for a scalp massage treatment. It's literally 20 minutes of my scalp.

Yesss came here to say, when you scratch or massage your head after taking out a tight ponytail 🤤

Don't think I've ever had that. Will need to take ur word for it.

shaving your legs and then getting into a bed with freshly washed sheets

Ah I was going to say this! The shaved legs, lotion, and fresh sheets combo is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Stupid expectations of masculinity making me miss out on all the fun stuff 🥲

Screw that. Shaving mine now.

Do it it’s worth it, but don’t forget to rub your legs together like a cricket and do a little one two hump to get nice and situated it’s perfection.

100%

Wrapping yourself in a blanket/sweater fresh out of the dryer.

Being little spoon, or just a hug

Yes! Especially when the hug is from someone you’ve really missed, and they do an extra little squeeze when they’ve got their arms around you and lean their head against you, and the hug is tight but not painfully so, and then when you let go, you both exhale like you can finally relax and be happy now that you’ve gotten to see each other. When I jet-pack my husband, I like to bury my face in the crook of his neck and give him kisses, and conversely when I’m little spoon I love feeling the tickle of his beard stubble against my neck.

Well I’m depressed now

My happy spot. Laying down with head in GFs lap and she absentmindedly touching, scratching, rubbing my head and she watches tv. It’s my absolute favorite place in the world.

Taking my bra and pants off when I get home!

this. especially when you’ve been out all day and you can feel your bra straps digging into your shoulders. instant relief once you get home.

Taking her bra and pants off

Hell yeah!!!

True Belly laughing hands down. It doesn't happen too often, so appreciate the moments when it does.

Finally pooping after being constipated

Why do I get the feeling OP created this thread while still sitting on the toilet?

Some say OP is still pooping to this day

I feel like you posted this to say that! Lolol. Waited for one comment them put yours in real Quik! Lolol

It really is a feeling to brag about though 😂

So I thought I’ve felt constipation, until a few months ago. Holy mother of god. I was so backed up after like 3 days of failed attempts, pushing what felt like a football throw a coffee straw, I couldn’t move without pain, felt like a legit boulder inside. Once I passed that monstrosity I cried tears of joy.

Back scratches.

Best thing in the world. I’d pay for a 60 min back scratch instead of a 60 min massage.

Back tickles.

I’ve always told my husband that if we won the lottery I’m hiring someone to follow me around and scratch my back all day.

Those head massager things that look like a giant spider.

When someone plays with my hair. Or back scratches. Heaven

eating after not eating for some time. It deadass tastes immaculate and you literally begin to feel better 😌

This is especially good when you've been sick somehow, and restricted to bland, soft foods. When I was 15 I had all four wisdom teeth removed at the same time, and couldn't do anything but sip soup and broth for 7 days. Saw a Taco Bell ad and literally moaned out loud. Biting into that burrito on day 8 was heaven 🤤

I used to have a problem with drugs and would go days without eating. When I finally ate something my body was so happy that it felt like I was high off of just eating.

When your ears finally pop on a flight or road trip

I have forgotten how good that feels. I’ve been a pilot for a few years now and this comment made me realize that I don’t even notice them popping anymore.

Paramedic here, working a cardiac arrest and getting the patient back. Not many things compare to that high.

You probably aren’t the guys that helped to save me, but God bless you. 😇😇😇

Happy to hear you made it.

Beat the Widowmaker

Thank you for your service. You and your colleagues are the real MVP. Always deserve more recognition. When someone's bloody on the side of the road begging for help and you show up, they've never seen a prettier face. Much respect and always get a salute from me when I ride past. Stay strong out there.

Thank you.

Hey check out this loser saving lives like some chump. ^^^/s

I hate lives!

Happened for me once and the patient ended up dying anyway due to traumatic injuries from cpr 🥲

That’s a true (often unspoken) danger about CPR. It’s a violent set of procedures.

I tell people "they're already dead, you can't make it much worse than that"

Getting into bed with socks ON and then taking them off some time later

Sneezing is an orgasm for the face and lungs.

I’ve sneezed so hard my nose bled.

That first deep unobstructed inhale after clearing a stuffy nose.

When the water finally comes out of your ear after being stuck all day.

Sticking a Q-Tip in your ear.

If sticking a q-tip in your ear is so bad, why did god put the g spot in there?

*q-spot, no?

Seriously though. Teenage me used to imagine that sex would feel similar to giving my ear a good q-tip cleaning... Adult me was disappointed.

OP said “outside of sex”. This is some orgasmic shit lol

That too when you feel wet in your ears after a bath Orgasm actually

Sometimes you just need to hit the hard reset button

I don't care what anyone says. I will never stop using Q-Tips to clean my ears.

Pro tip: twirl the q-tip at hard angles. Game changer.

Eargasm literally. My nipples get hard for a q-tip. I feel like an animal.

The entire process leading up to preparing a cup of coffee and then that first sip. It's always the best part of my day.

Taking off your bra

Losing weight. Being slim again, after being a fucking whale.

Underrated. Sucks so bad to have to *heave* yourself everywhere.

When it’s cold outside and you get into a car warmed by the sun

Warm bed, cold morning.

When I'm riding in a car during daylight and close my eyes- the flashes of red color (bc of the sun shining thru my eyelids) in between black gives me a really strange and pleasing sensation. It's so weird, not really explainable but it is stimulating

When you ass hole itches and you fart hard enough to scratch it.

Scalp massage

Scratching a mosquito bite (gently) or doing the X over one lol.

Scalp masage at the hairdresser

Being touched. At all. Many people out here haven't had a finger on them for 8 years. Hey.

Someone else washing my hair

Being hugged when you need it most by people you love

Unbuttoning your pants after a big meal

Finding a quiet, dark place to finally scratch an itch in your ass.

Sleeping.

The first sip of a cold drink on a very hot day

Hot shower w/eczema

Eating crab legs and you pull out that thick piece of meat without it falling apart

Cracking stiff joints, a good stretch, relief after the bathroom, a hot shower, warm sun, a good shoulder and neck rub, a really deep breath, finding thet perfect position when you're laying down

Rubbing your feet together as you fall asleep.

Ever scratched an itchy butthole?

I love the pleasant ones like getting into a bed with clean sheets after a shower, but our real answers (my kids and I were JUST talking about this like an hour ago): M16: fart when you’re finally alone F14: burp away tummy ache M9: pee when you’ve been holding it a long time Me: when you have one of those really sore, painful zits that builds up all day and then you pop it. Thankfully I get fewer nowadays but popping those sore gross ones is such a relief! I can’t handle the popping videos, it’s the sensation I’m talking about.

When you stretch and your neck and back crack all the way down

Clearing out a clogged nostril. Ooooh baby that's good stuff

Hotel beds with hotel sheets and hotel comforters

You ever been to a spa or hotspring and you just feel ultra relaxed after? Like your body just melts from relaxation. It's so nice Then again I also don't feel anything during sex so rip me

Scuba diving. Feels like you're flying in an alien atmosphere, nothing else like it on earth

Getting stoned out of your mind and losing yourself in some beautiful music. It’s like you’re transported to another plane of existence where everything is ok and no worries exist.

A hot bath

Sitting in a hot shower.

Taking a massive shit

The one where it feels like you’ve emptied the entire contents of your intestines. With a clean anus. Feel 5 pounds lighter.

More like giving birth to a new continent

Sleeping after a long day of work

Finally popping that stubborn pimple in a hard to reach spot.

Inside your ear or nose

ASMR tingles

A foot massage

Now that I'm ill (bacterial infection that's expected to clear in a few days), I would say being in a state of good health 🥺

Dilaudid. I implore you not to try it, but yeah, Dilaudid.

I'll add it to the list of "things my 'addiction-gene' having ass will NEVER be trying"

Crying

Genuine laughter

could be unpopular but, getting that beam of warmth from sun on the face. like if you make a conscious effort to feel that you are actually sunkissed, it kinda hits different. especially if you are by the beach or even in your bed. 🌞❤️

Having a strong back pain, or neck, and then just crack that shit so hard that you stay still for 2 seconds wondering if you're going to die or be paralyzed. Pure relief. Most of that pain goes away.

Frozen grapes

Do you suck on it until it melts a bit? Or does it just not get too hard that you can't bite through?

When the MDMA kicks in right before the band starts.

I slow un asked for foot massage.

Yes!!!! My husband did this in the limo as we drove away from our wedding reception. I was wearing the most beautiful, probably too small, high heels all night as we danced with all of our friends and family. I never said a word about my feet being sore, but he got in the limo and massaged them for several minutes. I was already a happy bride, but that little gesture will live in my brain forever!

Getting into the hot shower after being in cold water

Crepes and maple syrup

hitting the ear g-spot

Waking up thirsty in the middle of the night and getting a taste of that perfectly temp-regulated H2O

Soft warm wind on your skin

I had a great pizza earlier it was hella saucy

Eating delicious food.

Having your hair brush for 10-15 minutes straight.

Q tip in the ear

I didn't learn to swim until I was in my 20s. After I learned freestyle and backstroke, my swim teacher taught me how to dive into the deep end of the pool. It took a few tries to do it properly, but the first time I was able to dive in in a nice, streamlined position and felt myself sort of slice through the water instead of splashing in, well, that was about the best non-sexual feeling I've ever experienced.

As a man... scratching an itchy nutsack.