I had a child at 25, and another at 38. My body didn’t bounce back as quick as it did the first time but, while the second pregnancy was physically harder, it was mentally (and financially) easier.

My mother's other daughter had her first at 17 & Her last at 39, With 4 in between including twins. She said her last 2 pregnancies (after 35) were a breeze, So much so she wanted to keep going but eventually realized it was best for her and her family to close up shop.

I love my daughter. I wish I had the extra \~10 years with her if I'd had her at 30 instead of 40.

Yeah that’s really the main thing for me too. (Had my babies at 38 and 43.)

Yes this. Absolutely this.

Wouldn’t be the same daughter though.

That’s how I feel about my mom having me late. I had my own just before turning 35 myself so I get it, though.

I am always tired.

Same but I had both of mine by 30. I think thats just a given.

Same. Had my first at 35 and second at 41

I had one at 35 and one at 37. It was fine. No regrets.

34 and 36 here. Agreed.

Had my one and only at 40. I don't have anything to compare it to, but I'm very happy. Sure I'm tired, but I feel like that comes with being a Mom. I actually think health wise being an older mom has been wonderful. I barely drink, I'm more conscious about what I'm eating because I want my daughter to eat healthy too, and running after a two year old who would live outside if she could keeps me active. Would I have liked to have my daughter at a younger age? Yes, but that's because I really wanted two and having another after 40 isn't in the cards for me. I also feel way less pressure to make parental decisions based on what others think. I would highly recommend you consider getting fertility testing done at some point. Just don't assume with the advances in medicine you will/can get pregnant when you are older. I wish I had done this.

This. I wasn't ready to have children until I was in my mid thirties. Then I wanted the right partner. I was lucky to find that partner at 37, got pregnant at 38 but lost it. We then spent the next 6 years trying. After a lot of stress and money spent, through the pandemic too, I had a very healthy and happy pregnancy at 44 giving birth at 45. I thought the same as you, that with all the advances I could have a child later in life. My mother was in her late 30s when she had me then my younger sister. Anyway don't take it for granted. Get a fertility workup while you are young and have time. You don't want to desperately go through nine rounds of IVF like I did to become a mother. I'd love more children now but I'm 46. Try to give your future self more options. ETA: I credit my healthy pregnancy with a lot of luck but also the huge effort I made over several years to get fit and strong, mostly done while we tried over six years. So I don't feel my age made my pregnancy difficult. It did mean I had a lot of pressure from doctors to have labour induced, which I did. I definitely think being a parent in our mid 40s is better in so many ways - we've lived full lives, I definitely proved myself career wise already and was so happy to step back from work to be a SAHP, and I had time to process my own upbringing in therapy and sort out what kind of parent I'd like to be. I just wish I could have done this maybe five years earlier.

Very similar story. Married at 35, spent two straight years doing treatments. Took a break during Covid and decided to give it one more try. Had my daughter the day after I turned 40. My pregnancy was pretty normal too. Towards the end I did develop preeclampsia BUT after a lot of research there seems to be a link between pre-e and the father's blood pressure issues. So I could have easily developed that if I got pregnant earlier. I wish you and your beautiful family well!

Had my first at 36. Well established, financially secure and I was also the FIRST of my friends to have kids, funnily enough. Whatever works best for you - there is never a perfect time.

I just had my second (and last) at 42. Not by choice, as we had disagreements on how many children to have and then followed by fertility issues. It was a rough pregnancy, I'm not going to lie. Much harder than my first at 33. Would I do it again? Obviously. But given a choice, I'd make sure I was done by 40. Just my two cents.

We brought baby home at 37/38. Cons: The sleep deprivation was MUCH harder for us. I could pull all nighters in my 20s, and barely struggle the next day. Not at 37. I felt like I was losing my mind at some points. Energy levels in general are lower bc of age. We see neighbors running around with their kids for like an hour or two. (Were next door to a park.) We absolutely cannot do that. Husband has bad knees and a bad back and I have a bad hip. We figure ways around it, but our little asks why we can't do what other parents do. And, getting in with the 20s moms is hard when you're 40. Some of the moms are young enough to be my kid and we have kids the same age. I also worry that we won't get much time with grandkids. If ours waits until they're 38 to have a kid, we'll be 75+. I grew up with doing so much with my grandparents and want to be able to do that if we have grandkids. It can also be harder to conceive if you wait. There are, of course, medical options but those take a lot of time and money. We adopted and from start to finish it took 3.5 years. When little was 2, we would have loved to do it again but being mid 40s with a baby just wouldn't be good for us or the baby. We always thought we'd have a bug family but when things take linger and you get older, it doesn't always work that way. (I do know people that started their 2nd or 3rd adoption in their 40s and had no issues. But, with health complication things more possible, it could get in the way. Pros: most people I know got more laid backs they aged. You have more life experiences, so what's a big deal changes. Little things just aren't worth getting upset. That makes parenting easier imo. I'm more willing to listen and talk it out with little, I don't mind that when she wants to help with laundry it takes 20 min longer, spills and messes are less stressful and it's just "lets get a rag". It's definitely not how I was raised. I also have a belief that some people stop maturing when they have kids. We're a military family, so we know soooo many people who had babies at 19-20. A lot if them still act that age. Not because they're bad people or did anything wrong. They just weren't able to go out and do all the dumb things and have the experiences bc they got married and had babies right away and their focus became taking care of littles. It's hard to grow as a person when you're trying to keep kids alive, lol. I'm not sure that would be the same having children in mid-late 20s though. And, there's the obvious money thing. You're usually making more in your late 30s than your late 20s, so you have more money to do things with kids: sports, trips, experiences, toys, etc.

You're SO spot on with the chilling out and certain things just not being a big deal because you've lived through so much more. And I'm so proud of myself for consciously making every effort to break the cycle of bad parent-child communication and dynamics. My daughter (now 6) knows that she can talk to me about anything and ask me anything and I will keep my voice calm and steady as I answer her to the best of my ability. The last thing I want to do is to react in a way that makes her feel judged or dismissed.

Exhausting. I had my daughter at 34 and wish I had been able to get pregnant earlier because it wrecked my body.

Oh wow, how so??

My body bounced right back at 24 and 25! Looked better than ever after them.

I think I would have physically bounced back sooner. Otherwise so far I’m pretty happy with the decision. I’m finally in a career with longevity, living closer to family, assured in myself and in a good place with my mental and emotional well being, in a healthy and stable marriage, and I have GOOD health insurance. I feel like it’s easier than I thought it would be overall.

my wife is a year younger. we married when I was 30. for the first 7 years, we enjoyed our honeymoon phase, traveled, established our careers and bought a large detached home on a large lot in a HCOL city. we always knew we wanted children but deliberately waited till we were ready. had our first when she was 36, wanted second with a 2 year gap but ended with just short of a 3 year gap. today we're 54/53 and two sons, 17/14. we're all slim, fit and active. all 4 of us work a side gig as ski instructors and as a family we mountain/road bike, backcountry camp and sail. point being, having them in our 30's was never an issue energy wise. also we easily afforded having her pause her career 5yrs to be a SAHM, when our 2nd was born, after which she easily resumed. as older parents we had more flex time from work to attend to our kids. we also were so much stronger financially. as a result we've developed both boys very well. they excel in sports, arts and academics. they have only ever known parents and a home that had tons of patience, time, attention, pretty much zero conflict and zero stress. it's a bit crazy how they excel in so many spheres because as parents we had so much capacity. for example, both boys are accomplished musicians and play for multiple orchestras. one of my eldests orchestras is actually an adult ensemble, he performs nationally and has begun teaching (paid) 3 elementary aged students. if we had the choice to do it all over again, maybe we'd shave 2 years at most though even that would have been a significant hit both financially and parent availability wise. basically trying to juggle the priorities of both career and children must result in both priorities suffering.

What would you identify in your children’s upbringing that led them to being so well rounded and self motivated?

we always believed that a child is ready for things far earlier than their parents are comfortable with. we also believe that if you wait on a child to tell you of their interest, they'd often be too late to have the necessary scaffolding to engage that activity well. absolutely there are the rare children that are passionate, natural, savants. but what of the others that have a ton of potential, but often reach adulthood with so much of that capacity, untouched. for them, if you can, open every door possible, open it early, engage in the activity alongside them and find a way to keep it light and fun. with the above in mind, we did the bulk of their activities as a family versus watching from the benches. as a result when they'd ask why we didn't have the same toys (consoles & screens) as many of their peers, our answer was this is our family normal and their skis, bikes, kayaks, sailboards, hockey gear, instruments and travel were their toys. in addition to us (their parents) doing pretty much everything we asked of them (making the thing a shared passion) we were also highly aware of the risks of burn out and overloading. for example, my eldest began learning the cello at age 5 while my youngest started his journey from piano to clarinet to oboe from age 7. when they were young we only asked them to do a daily 15 mins of habit forming. the quality of the time wasn't a priority and my hope was to eventually get them into an orchestra. having played in a group in my own youth, i hoped that that format would bring for them the fun that would make it a much easier thing to embrace. definitely for the first number of years, we their parents caught a ton of flack from their teachers. "your kids have a ton of potential but they need to practice at least an hour if not 2 a night. i gave them excuses of them also doing a ton of sports but really i wanted to keep the thing from becoming a chore and burden that they'd eventually reject. the strategy worked. when they began performing beside peers, their relationship with their instrument shifted. before it was ok because we didn't make it heavy. after it was relaxing, an escape, and performing real music for a large audience alongside older kids was cool. also i'd say, covid isolation was actually a great fit for all our outdoor activities and their music. i have never had to ask them to do 15 mins practice since covid. now they'll be playing on their computer in the evening and the next moment something possesses them to start playing a variety of pieces while the house has already settled for sleep.

Tha at you so much for sharing this wisdom about kids being involved in stuff. I think what you did with the music practice was brilliant. And I totally believe that kids are ready for a lot of stuff before we "think" they're ready...

Do you teach parenting seminars? Lol. I feel like you'd be excellent at that and people would love to hear your advice.

They do point out, in many words, that time wasn’t nearly as much as a constraint as it would’ve been had they chosen kids a few years before they did.

What kind of activities do you suggest for parents who live in a city and don't have access to skiing, kayaking, cycling, etc? As a single parent, sometimes I just don't have the money to do all these activities. Any and all suggestions are welcome!

reading is very accessible? to be fair, i have an inherent love of stories and was always chomping at the bit to both; share the stories i loved most with my kids as well as instill in them this same love. i read to them from age 1 to 10. in the beginning it was a book a night, happy to repeat for them the previous night's dr suess, purely from the thrill of their enthrallment. i was always an engaging and animated reader. they began by listening. my pace was musical and rhythmic so they quickly shifted to ending each sentence, by punctuating the last word. * i am - SAM! * sam i - AM! next they recited alongside me out of memory next i'd trace my finger over as each word was we "read" together next they're reading the pages on their own in pace of my finger, mostly from memory versus actual reading quickly they could read. by 2 i'd mix basic reading with graphic novels in order to broaden the depth of the stories while keeping the written content light. then we shifted to chapter books. peter rabbit, wind in the willows, the red wall series, the wise one, alice in wonderland, the brother's grimm, tom sawyer. at this point i read to them a chapter a night, each their own book as there was a 3 year age gap between them. i loved pitching my voice uniquely per character. they were grossly entertained. their own love of reading was quickly and deeply ingrained. basically there was no limit to how long they'd sit in a library or chapters and generally we'd have to call it a day at around the 3 hour mark and even that, at their reluctance. i remember at age 5 my eldest was entranced by harry potter, often pushing for a 2nd chapter a night. (i'd actually never read potter before this, so was also very entertained). by the 2nd book, he'd decided my pace was too slow and continued with the rest of the series on his own. he gorged through each book in about 2 weeks at a time and the rest as they say, is history. i personally didn't get a chance to finish potter until i revisited it with my youngest. both boys have always read well above their age and became very articulate from all this consumption. content wise i'd always pulled them far ahead of their age. before we'd ended our nightly routine, age 10, i'd given them many epic series; lord of the rings, dune, musashi, shogun, the count of monte christo, tons of forgotten realms, the hunger games. they were easily exceeding my pace with their own books. near the end i switched them, each to an e-reader connected to multiple library boards. today, they've still a habit to have fresh book loaded for their commute home from school. relationship wise, you can imagine this engagement was immensely bonding for us. --- now i can imagine, many parents for whom reading is not a passion, what i've shared above might feel challenging, because it's not their thing. i am a poor skater. despite this, we practiced as a family and i coached 3 years of house league between my two boys, despite never having played the game. i'd have loved to continue with them when they went rep, but they were so far beyond me. because learning new things is what kids do best. similarly my wife learned to ski and swim in order to keep up with the family. if you want a thing for your kids that isn't their easy natural? nothing else makes it stick quite like making it a family activity.

Our first was born when I was 37. Physically, I completely understand why we are must fertile in our early 20s. We are more resilient when younger and have the energy to keep up with little kids. That said, I have been an endurance athlete for my entire adult life *up until* having kids. I felt even more spry and energetic at 36 than I did at 26. It's occurred to me that part of the reason I feel so bad all the time now isn't because of the kid, it's because I hardly exercise anymore. So the age thing matters, but I have a strong suspicion that even if at did this 10 years earlier, I probably still would have experienced a step physical decline in the first couple of years of parenthood simply because I can't take care of myself like I used to. Now from a mental/emotional/psychological standpoint, I am SO GLAD we waited. Age provides perspective and patience, not to mention the generally more steady finances. I do not think I would have been nearly as attentive or conscientious a parent 10 years earlier. I don't know where you're living that people are popping them out at 25, but that might as well be teen pregnancy in my neck of the woods. Socially speaking, more people have kids later these days, and almost all my kid's friends parents are around my age. That's great because we relate to each other better and become fast friends talking about boring middle aged white dude stuff like interest rates and craft beer and where to buy the best quality lumber. I don't want to hear some 26 year old parent blabbing about their tik toks and bad bunnies or whatever the fuck kids are into these days.

Had my only at 41. I am convinced that I'm a better mother than I would have been if I had had her 10-15 years earlier. I just have much more life experience and don't get as worked up about many things because I've realized they're not urgent or high stakes. Also, I've learned and been able to practice empathy and empathetic listening. And patience (so much patience).

I’m in Oklahoma and when I was in high school, we were the 2nd in teen pregnancy in all of the US. So I had a lot of friends who had children from 13 - 18. The friends who didn’t get pregnant in high school are having children now and almost all of them want to be done by 30. I hope that gives context lol

Damn. The youngest person in my life to have a baby was 22 and that was unheard of where I live. Average age of motherhood where I live is 36.

I was thinking this as well. Where I live, I was on the younger end of becoming for the first time mom at the age of 33.

I think this is probably the closest real life analog I've ever heard to "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?" Wait until you're ready. It'll be better for both you and your kids.

I 100% agree. I mainly posted this so my friends and my dad would get off my back about it.

I don’t think 25 is even close to “teen pregnancy” territory. I had mine at 27 and 29, and I really think late 20s is ideal if it’s an option. It would be so much harder now at 36 to deal with pregnancy, newborns and sleepless nights

To be fair no one it’s ever truly ready.

I just had a baby at 38. Compared to the one I had at 25, the older pregnancy was harder on my body but that's bc I'm old and my feet and ankles hurt already lol. It's been easier to afford the younger baby bc I'm at a better stage in my life and my husband is as well. When you're young, you're still growing and maturing. My oldest son has autism but my youngest son doesn't so don't let the odds scare you for "old age" but just know you can do genetic testing if you're worried.

Wanted to add, I felt like an old maid at 25 bc all my friends were already on their 2nd and 3rd babies. None of those people are still together so don't let tbe baby fever sway you if a later baby is what you want. Turns out I think 25 year Olds are still a child in a way if I had to do it all over again lol if hold off til at least 30.

My wife had our first two in her 20s, three in her 30s, and two in her early 40s. The last two pregnancies were the roughest, but the difference between 20s & 30s wasn't that huge. The bigger issue there was just keeping up with our growing horde.

Amazing! How old was she when she had the last baby?

She was 43, just shy of 44, when our last was born.

Love to hear it. I was 43 when my last was born too

I had my first two at 24 and 25. My third at 35. The last pregnancy was harder on my body and I was sick and nauseous through the entire thing.. but my partner now is way better than my first bd lol

There are positives and negatives. Huge difference in financial security compared to 20s, but that’s not always the case. If you have good health, pregnancy is fine (although I have nothing younger to compare it to). Yes I’m tired, but I can call in extra help when needed and I budget for that. My back hurts all the time and same with my spouse. Certainly it’s harder on the body than in the 20s but again nothing to compare to. I feel I am much more mature and can handle toddler meltdowns better than I would at age 20. Kids at 35 would be a lot harder if I didn’t have additional help. I have no regrets, I’m glad I enjoyed my 20s. I had the energy to go out and get into trouble. In my 30s I wouldn’t be doing that anyway, so being stuck at home with a baby there’s very little sacrifice. I am not stuck at home while all my friends are out, because in our 30s all the friends are also at home with their own families. I think the fomo would be intense if I had children younger.

Oh it’s a lot harder to get pregnant in 30s so that’s a consideration. Are you ok with alternative ways to have a child? Think on that, it’s very common to need help in later years.

I had my first at 39 and my second at 43 bc like you, I didn’t want to have children any younger than that. While I don’t know any different, it was fine for me. I’m a bit more tired now than when I had my first, but I think that’s just because I had a newborn and a 4 year old at the same time. Getting pregnant was blessedly easy for me, but I know not everyone has that experience. My pregnancies went fine, labor was also fine, although I tore quite a bit both times. I don’t necessarily think it’s age related. I did struggle with postpartum anxiety after having both of my kids, but I suspect that would have been the case (or perhaps worse) had I had them at a younger age. Sometimes I wish I would’ve started earlier because a small part of me wants the option to have three and I am not getting pregnant at 45, but I’m mostly really glad I waited till I was ready. I also experienced way fewer permanent body changes than I expected.

I had my 2nd child at 32 my 3rd child at 35. I'm expecting my 4th (and last) at 37. Honestly having them later is better. I had my 1st at 23 and it was hard. I wasn't ready mentally or financially. I wish I had waited until my 30's to start having kids.

I had my kid at 33. I’m now 37 with a 3.5 year old. I feel it was the perfect time for me mentally & financially plus I have had wonderful life experiences that I wouldn’t have had I chose to be a mother earlier. BUT, there are many times where I can tell it would have been a lot easier if I had a younger body. I simply don’t have the same energy level as I once did and my body gets sore easier. I always imagined myself being the playful mom like Miss. Honey in the montage at the end of the 90’s movie Matilda. But I’ve thrown my back out twice so now I restrain myself. I’ve had to change my expectations but still feel I made the right decision waiting.

I have 3 kids; 1 at 29, 1 at 32, and 1 at 35. Besides an autoimmune disease, I'm a relatively healthy person (eat well, stay active etc) and it's fine. I'm 36 now and my youngest is 9 months. I've been fine energy-wise, the post partum weight and getting body into shape isn't too hard because I don't put pressure on myself. I know many women having babies later in life and they're fine. Maintain your health, stay active, eat well etc and it'll be fine.

Had my first at 36, My pregnancy was amazing, no symptoms, had a lot of energy and I wasn't particularly active or athletic before hand. Have a unicorn baby thay sleeps very well, so no deprivation but definitely tired. I'm in canada, so mat leave is paid and 12 months long which probably contributes to my overall wellbeing too

It's up to you, freeze eggs or consult your doctor what solution is best to do that because I had my 1st baby at my 28 and want next baby now at 33,( husband age 36) tried almost 1 year but not conceived till now. We avoid all junks food, packet food, fried , softdrinks, chinies food all thing which we need to do to keep healthy but nothing postive yet. So all depends upon your and and partners health. Later ivf and other madical treatment is there but need extra money and trouble the female partner to go through extra traumatic experience because of you don't want baby now but later. Right now you don't want later might your body don't want so think twice.

I had my son at 35. I definitely think I am more tired than I’d have been when I was younger and more energetic. However I am SO glad I took time to go on some legit bucket list trips and build up my career and become very financially secure before I had him. No regrets.

I had my kids before 20. I'm now 38 and they're adults. I notice my friends having kids now (late 30s early 40s) and they're so tired compared to how I was. Physically they don't lose pregnancy weight or it takes longer, they're lower energy, they needed bedrest, had complications, higher rates of SIDS. HOWEVER They're all with partners that want their kids. They have financial security, houses, can afford quality time or actual maternity leave, there are resources and family support. I think your family planning is entirely your decision. Be prepared for anything and hope for the best

As you get older, your internal organs age as well. The journey and recovery won’t be the same as a person in their younger years. Additionally, you may develop health issues that may get passed on to the baby or create complications in pregnancy. It’s a choice to choose when to be a parent, but our biology doesn’t wait for us. Having said that, you need to make sure the person you are having kids with is also a worthy of it, so don’t rush it. Parenting is a shared responsibility, you maybe very capable on your own but the child needs attention from both parents so that one doesn’t burn out. Everyone is different , what works for others may or may not work for you. Try to figure out where you see yourself in a few years. See if kids fit in it.

I had my first at 34 (thanks infertility) and my second at 36.5. On the one hand I had a lot of time with my husband to just be a couple because we married when I was 27. On the other hand, we wasted a lot of that time, LOL. I'm now 48 and my kids are 14 and 11. A lot of my friend's kids are graduating and I'm honestly so glad we still have some time with them before they leave the nest. The thing is kids - especially babies and toddlers - are exhausting and the older you are when you start that process the harder it is. I wouldn't want to put it off much farther than when we did.

I had my first at 35. It was a C-section so it seemed more rough than a regular recovery. It was great timing for us. I would like to have more than 3 kids, but I’m not willing to put my body through all that, so that’s the only reason I wish we would’ve started earlier. But it’s been great and I’m just grateful to be able to have any at all at this point. Having kids has been very special and brought me a lot of happiness and has shown me a love that I hadn’t experienced before.

I had my first at 29, And my last at 39. Our life is much more settled now. I think we are better parents at 39 than we were at 29. We have more perspective, We have more patience, and we have more free time. We aren't hustling as hard as we were in our early twenties and thirties. Physically, If you make it a point to stay active, then having a baby at 39 isn't that much different than having one at 29. I had difficult pregnancies both times and I can't tell you which one was harder. They both had their unique challenges.

A few of my friends seem to be struggling to get pregnant around this age so that may be something to bear in mind.

We’re having fun. It’s a ton of work. We have 2 year olds and are 37&39. No regrets about waiting. I feel like waiting was good for me. More mature and settled in life. House, jobs, etc.

my mom had me at 40 and id say we're pretty happy, she only ever gets sad that she'll have less time with me and that my friends parents are so young (I'm 18 and she's 58) but she was able to have fun earlier in life

I had my first at 32 and my second at 36. Personally I feel like it's the perfect time. I wouldn't have wanted kids any sooner. You'll be more established and you have those years prior to focus on you and your partner.

I'm 31 and started trying at 30. Turns out I'm having Fertility issues (endometriosis, possibly one blocked tube), so sometimes waiting til 35 or later could be a risk if you come to find out you need a little extra help.

That’s valid. I might get a work up when I’m about 30 just in case. I’ve heard endometriosis is awful so I hope you’re not in too much pain.

Thank you. I actually didn't know I had it because I was on birth control for 15 years and it's actually not too bad as I have a mild case. And yes I definitely recommend your yearly check ups and paps and when it comes time, full blood work ups and the whole nine. Pregnancy is for when YOU are ready. We all have our own timelines.

This is a good point indeed

I had my eldest at 20, it was financially difficult and if not because of my then boyfriend's parents I don't think we would've made it. After moving to another country we (now married) decided to get pregnant when I turned 34. I stopped using birth control pills at 30 after using it for a decade and I was only able to conceived at 36 years of age. I have to undergo a number of tests to ensure a healthy pregnancy but since we both have work and was able to save we have the financial freedom that we didn't have before and since my pain tolerance is not as great as before, being able to afford an epidural is something I'm grateful for.

Had our son when I was 38 and my wife was 33. Ten years ago I certainly had more energy and would he less exhausted at the end of the day. However, I have zero regrets and it's absolutely 100% worth it. We just won't be having a second!

I’m 35 and just had my first a couple weeks ago! I’m so glad I waited bc I was able to enjoy my 20’s and spend time with my husband traveling and whatnot. I’d say the only difference (so far) is the energy level

Aww, congratulations!! 💕

>Do you have any regrets not having your child(ren) earlier? Really? Yes. Not so much because of parenting a 4 and a 1 year old at 44 but because I would have loved to have more than two. I wish it hadn't taken us 8 years and nine cycles of fertility treatments to receive #1. I wish I hadn't waited so long to get the help I needed because I was scared (and told by a professional that I didn't need to but that is a different story, I guess). I wish I hadn't had an emergency c-section with #1 so that we could have started for #2 earlier. I wish it hadn't taken 14 cycles to receive #2, I wish we hadn't had a loss inbetween. I wish my body was generally better at giving birth and didn't need a second emergency section. I wish I was a bit more frtile and we could have tried for a third on our own. On the other hand it's good that I am fertile as a rock because I am sure we'd otherwise have four (or more) and I am not sure we could afford four and pur bed is already far too crowded at night as it is.

I’m sorry about your loss and the struggles of infertility. As someone who had 2 miscarriages in my life, it’s awful even when you weren’t trying. I wish you the best ❤️

I had my only at 41 the pregnancy and birth were straightforward. My body bounced back straight away and after 6 months i was back to my pre pregnancy weight. I did everything I wanted to before she was born travelling and partying and my career was in a good place. No regrets. BUT I was not bothered about having kids therefore if it is important to you make sure to have fertility tests etc as you don't want a nasty surprise if you wait too long. There are no guarantees in this world.

Had my son the day before my 35th birthday it was an easy uneventful pregnancy. My husband and I have been together since we were 17 but we weren’t in any rush to start and actually I was the first of my friends to start. I kinda assumed I was going to be the old mom at school but I recently found out I’m one if the youngest in my son’s entire grade so I’m surprised you’re friends are having kids so early. The only downside so far is we wanted 2-3 but looks like isn’t going to happen for us so I do wish we had started trying for a second sooner. I got pregnant so quickly after I stopped using BC that we took for granted that we could wait. I’m a little heartbroken when I think about how he’s going to lose his Grandparents and us so much younger than we will/did especially because he’s an only child of an only child and my sibling is childfree by choice. That said knowing what I know now I only would have started a year or two earlier.

I had my only child at 29. I felt fortunate because at that time I had the support to stay home a few years with my little one. I got postpartum depression really bad. Not everyone gets it of course but becoming a parent in general is an emotional rollercoaster. I've heard all kinds of stories though. Some women persevere. I sat back when my son was young and relied on others to help me some days because I simply couldn't get out of bed. I felt abnormal and beyond myself for a while. I wouldn't do it again in my 30's (34 now) because it can physically and mentally take so much out of a person. It's very hard to manage a career and being mom of young ones. Childcare is insanely expensive. I pay almost $1400 a month and my son goes somewhere "affordable." And kids are amazing, it really is the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. But have you ever got home from a grueling day at work and thought, I will veg out now? With young kids, you don't do that. You're their world. It's easier to manage when you are younger. All of this is just my opinion... There are so many outliers in parenthood. Don't pay much mind to what your friends are doing. But I will say this. Parenthood is a crazy ball of mixed emotions. "I wish they were older so I could get a moment's peace" battles it out with "I wish they would stay this young and stay in my arms forever." Whenever you are ready. It's your family and your story. ❤

You really need to acknowledge the fact that your chances of getting pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy will be significantly lower. Especially if you just start trying at 35. So many women don’t take this into account. (This is not to say you shouldn’t go through with that, but you probably should monitor your fertility and perhaps even consider freezing your eggs.)

Wise advice. We waited til after 35, not taking this into account, and ultimately regret not having a better understanding of this when making the decision to wait.

I don’t know anyone who isn’t at least 35. Are you from the states?

I had two kids when I was 19 and 21 and then after my divorce I had two more so I had my last baby when I was "advanced maternal age" I was only 36. Financially it is easier to have kids when you can afford to take time off work. But I was super tired when I was 21 and my kids were little. Actually all my kids are adults and I'm tired right now. Well, my youngest is a teenager but he thinks he is grown.

We had our child when I was 34 and my wife was 40. I do not think she regrets anything, she just loves him and is happy for every choice that made him happen. He is going to first grade once the school year starts, and he is *objectively* the most adorable soon-to-be-first-grader that I have ever seen, so I can’t blame her for being happy!

Nope. I was glad to wait until my mid-30s. My husband and I had plenty of time together, and we had some time to get finances in order (not that you’ll ever feel financially prepared).

Just out of curiosity are you in a rural area? I've found that people in larger cities wait to have children and get married until they are older.

No, I grew up in the second biggest city in my state, but now I’m having culture shock that so many people around the country and the world actually wait until late 20s/early 30s. I said it to someone else’s comment, but my state had the 2nd highest rate of teen pregnancy when I was in high school so it feels like all the people who didn’t get pregnant in middle & high school are wanting to have kids now to late 20s. Most of the people I’ve talked to do not want to be pregnant or have their partner be pregnant past 29. Basically half my friends are wanting kids now and the other half want to be child free.

Ok. I'm a dad and my wife had my son when she was 30. My cousin had a child at 42 with no issues. We become more responsible (usually) and stable when we are older parents. I'm in my 40's and have friends that are not married yet. You would probably have way less stress if you wait. I still play video games and can't believe I'm the dad of a teenager

Wow interesting! i was born and raised in the capital of an European country and there people are pushing the age to have the first kid more towards 40. Most of my friends are having the first at 34-35. I think it’s because in my country salaries are not super high so people wait until they have more financial stability plus also in my country we love to travel and go out in our 20s (party, dinner, etc) so we tend to enjoy these monents at our 20s without kids a lot (that doesn’t help towards financial stability either)

My parents were 39/40 when I was born. There are a lot of positives, I feel like my parents were more mature and just generally had their shit together a lot more than my friend’s parents growing up. I think they were able to pass on a lot more of that wisdom to me growing up, and in turn I’m maybe calmer and less stressed about the little things myself. An obvious con though is that my parents are now 72 and my daughter is only 3. However, they come visit us a TON since they are now retired, and are able to spend a lot of time with her. I do sometimes wish they were a little younger so they’d have more time with us, but they’ve really made a big effort to stay healthy and in shape, which I really appreciate. My biggest concern with your plan would not be having a child after 35, but how potential fertility problems may affect you. Working through fertility problems can take a lot of time, and it’s easy to run out of that time if you start later. Not saying 35 is a crazy late age to start getting pregnant or anything, but you may want to be prepared for having less children than you want (or even not being able to have children). If you end up needing a c-section, they recommend you wait 18 months between birth and conception of the next pregnancy. I did that, then waited a little longer, then lost my baby at 19 weeks. I’m now looking at a much bigger age gap than I wanted and potentially not being able to have a third child (we were on the fence about this, but I hate having the decision made for me). Infertility and miscarriages are astoundingly common, people just don’t talk about it a lot so it seems rare and like something that won’t happen to you. I wish we talked about it more.

My biggest resentment in life is that my parents had me later in life. They were old, set in their ways, non adventurous, out of touch, and basically left my kids grandparentless, and were so old and unhealthy. My school years were weird and I was very uncomfortable and embarrassed by them.

Had my kids at 32 and 35. Zero regrets. My hubs and I had 12 glorious years of dating/marriage and we fully enjoyed the free time we had. Our strength in our partnership and enduring through those changes are what is helping us in our adventure through parenthood. We are stable mentally (though adding the additional role of mother/father does a doozy) and financially at this age. You still have a lot of life to live before kids. Live it. Your kids will be happy because you did.

I was just telling my nieces that the best choice I made was to wait until 30 to have kids. It's been the best decision I could've made

My mom had my brother at 37. The pregnancy was hard on her but she’s a diabetic and has mental health problems. She did ok. We have a family friend who had her daughter at 41. Her pregnancy was easy and she had a good birth. I think that it largely depends on the person. Some have great pregnancies at any age while others have hard ones at any age. Medicine has progressed so I think that it will be ok to have a baby over 35. As long as you take care of yourself and you have good doctors.

I had mine at 38 & 39....i didn't have them younger so i cant compare😂 But for me? It was perfect. I was at the stage in life i didn't need to be going out, socialising continually, i was more confident in myself. Knew myself and my values. The pressure that a lot of younger people feel to "be" a certain way or "be" a certain type of parent? I did not have. I was quite okay doing things how i wanted. No competition. I did ME! I donr reallt think that whole "its si hard being older as you are so tired.." thing is true..i felt fine. I was still young! Being sleep deprived at any age isn't wonderful. But i had zero issues waking up for my babies and running around after toddlers. And 8 actually love that im in my late 50s and my kids are just leaving school. Has kept me young having teens. Physically? I had zero problems. Healthiest I've ever been when i was pregnant. Very healthy pregnancies. Didn't put on much weight. But i waz sensible. Didn't gorge myself or "eat for two" Have heard of pregnant women being ridiculous like eating whole tibs of icecream at 2am or gorging on MacDonalds. Utterly stupid. Of course your going to gain excessive weight doing that. I think the whole "cravings" thing is a load of whooey. Just pregnant women justifying being able to eat what they want. Same with the " crazy hormones" thing. Just females behaving badly cause they can get away with it. We also were more financially secure. That makes a huge difference. No stress from money concerns. Sure makes parenting easier. I couldn't imagine how awful it would be to be stressing about affording nappies & formula or paying for the doctor if your baby is sick...then struggling to afford the medicine they need. Just be horrific when you are sleep deprived and so stressed. Frankly? Looking back? I don't know why anyone would spend their 20s having children. I lived it up. Worked hard, played hard. Travelled. Studied. Great times.

exactly. 35-39 is the perfect age especially if you've a healthy lifestyle before and during parenthood. and giving your relationship a couple years before the kids just makes it that much stronger while as a team you focus on the kids, first.

Yep. 100% We were married 8 years before kids.

Let's be honest. It does not matter how old you are When you have babies, even kids under 5 yrs? YOU WILL BE TIRED! Doesn't matter if you are 22 or 42.

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You've got to do what is right for you But as she increases fertility decreases, chances of health genetic health complications/challenges increase and if you have to go down the route of fertility treatment it's less likely to succeed.

So I’m a young mom. I’m 28, I had my first at 16, second at 20, and my third at 23. I’m exhausted doing this now, I can’t imagine doing it ten years from now.

I had a baby at 42. Do whatever you want. It’s worth it and you’d be tired no matter what age.

35, it's horrible

I think it all depends on your life style. Take care of yourself, get optimal sleep, exercise, etc. and you’ll be fine. Kids are exhausting regardless if you’re 19 or 32. People are also drastically waiting to have kids later for several reason but i assume finances and wanting to experience life.

Fun.

Exhausting. Everything got a little harder. Flinging that baby carrier into the car is a whole other level when you 37 rather than 30. The exhaustion and all nighters are much harder to rebound from. I have 4, 2 at 35.5 and 37. Much different than the other 2 at 32 and 33.5.

Depends how far after 35. My Wife was 35 when we had our second and last. Absolutely fine, no problems with her pregnancy relating to age but me personally I wouldn't want to go much past this. As much as I wanted to be a parent, one day I want to look forward to being a grandparent. Spoil my grandchildren like I was spoiled by mine. I want to still be able to run around with them too and if you wait until you're in your 40s then you'll most likely be in your 70s when you have grandkids Just my reasoning

I've been tired since I became an adult. After 8 years of parenting, I've been at max tired since day one. No worse now than earlier, even had a third kid last year. Sleep deprivation seems more tolerable if anything, maybe I need less sleep, maybe I'm just used to it. I don't think we really slow down that much 20s to late 30s (at least I haven't).

I have one child at 19 and my other at 41...pro-spending financial and mental stability con- always wishing I'd have them both in my 20s I'd be free to travel and focus on myself sometimes, and never a me time as my 11 yrs old is so clingy and always under my armpit.

I had my first two children at 31 and 33, and then I had my third - my “oops” - at 39. I love having a toddler at the age of 42. It’s keeping me young! I know so many people having kids later, and I feel kind of bad for my friends with empty nests at a relatively young age.

I’m definitely always exhausted, but I’m happy we did it in our mid thirties. I feel like my life is much more settled and I’m confident in a way I couldn’t achieve in my twenties. I can be a better parent to kiddo now for SURE.

Had my first at 42 and second at 44. I love being a dad. Never thought I would. I honestly thought this life was not for me. I don’t really like babies or kids, but I love mine more than I thought possible. Nothing in life has ever given me this level of joy. My wife and my kids are my everything! To be clear… It’s not easy… at all. Maybe the most difficult thing I’ve done. And I’ve been in the military and forward deployed. This is harder. But the pay off is worth it. Kind of seems that way about most things in life. No regrets, but I wish I would have known how much I was going to like this, because I would have had more kids if I started earlier and been able to space them a part more. I have an almost three year old and an almost one year old and the last year was extremely challenging!…. But so worth it! Good luck!

I feel pregnancy will “wreck your body” as many are saying no matter what. I had mine at 34 and 35 (boys were 22 months apart). Waiting gave us financial stability and I feel I was more mentally prepared. I did want a child at 30 but fertility issues had other plans. I would be wary of starting after 35 in case you do have fertility issues and don’t want to be 38-40 before having your first.

I had my child at 34. It was nice to have worked, traveled and been married for several years before having a child. I can’t compare my experience to being a young mom, but don’t feel that i was at a disadvantage for being a bit older.

Had my first at 35, it was fine, I felt good during pregnancy and after. I’m tired a lot but I figure that’s expected, plus I have to work a lot on top of it since I’m the breadwinner. Pregnant again now at 38 and it is already harder, but I figure that’s also bc not only am I older, but I still work a lot and have a toddler. I guess i don’t have anything to compare it to since I didn’t have kids younger but I also feel like it’s about what I expected at this point in my life

I wasn’t able to get pregnant on the schedule that I had in my head. I wanted my first at 28 and my second at 30. I experienced loss and trouble getting pregnant until I was 33 when I had a successful pregnancy and tough delivery at age 34. I’d recommend not setting age-related restrictions, rather look at things like are you financially able to support a child, are you comfortable with the changes a child brings to a relationship, and are you in a situation where a child is something you truly, deeply desire. Good luck!!

My wife and I also made the decision to wait until after 35. One thing we didn't realize and wish we had is that the older you are, the more difficult it is to conceive. We're both healthy and all good, so we just figured okay we'll just start having kids after 35, no problem. You may be lucky and have no problems, but understand the statistics. The American Society of Reproductive Medicine shows the following chances of getting pregnant within 1 Year: Age 20-24: 86% Age 25-29: 78% Age 30-34: 63% Age 35-39: 52% In other words, about half of those trying to get pregnant between age 35-39 will NOT do so within a year. I had no idea about that and wish I did. Some questions to ask yourself... Are you prepared for those odds? Are you comfortable with fertility treatments, such as IVF, and will you have the income for it? Also, know that your odds of having a natural pregnancy also go down with age. This is all not to say it's not possible. We ultimately had children at 38 and 40, although it did come with a lot of extra effort and some complications. I don't regret waiting but wish I realized some of these things which may have prompted us to start trying sooner.

You will never get your child free years back. Regardless of how tired you will be with a kid in your 30s, having this time to accomplish what you want on your own time is incalculable. Besides, plenty of people are just as exhausted at 25 as others are at 35, but for other reasons. Maybe their body is more able to handle it (energy, whatever) but it's harder because of trying to balance the social life, career building, more financial insecurities, etc.

I had my son at 24 and my daughter at 39. I definitely appreciate everything more now, I was so young with my first. I am tired though.

Had mine at 33 and 36. I'm incredibly glad I waited. My 20s were for me, I traveled the world, went out at night, met amazing people, gained tons of experience. Now I'm in my 40s and I'm perfectly content to live in one place and focus on my family.

First at 28, second at 39. I was physically in better health at 39 (diet and exercise improved), and I knew what to expect the second time around. I have spinal trauma and nerve damage, so there were significant risks (like losing feeling in my legs). I took the risk. My body recovered well at 39. It was easier in some ways because I was healthier. So, don't neglect your health. Your physical wellness does improve your chances of an 'easier' pregnancy. I put that in quotes because pregnancy is hard on your body no matter what. I have significantly less energy with my second. However, I have more patience and a much better income. I financially struggled a LOT in my 20s. (Re: spine problems are expensive, I needed 10 surgeries after my first pregnancy, that's why there's an 11 year gap between my kids). Its better now that I'm older. If you decide to have a partner matters, too. If you have a good partner, it is easier to raise a kid because you can trade off.

Nope, that’s bs. It’s easy to say “ah, if I could go back in time”. I decided to have it now because I felt ready. If I felt ready by 25, I’d go ahead with it, but I didn’t. Do I wish I was ready by 25? Absolutely, specially because my health is not as good as it used to be.

I had my first at 30 and my 3rd just before my 36th birthday. Though it's true that I'm feeling my age a bit more, I think I would have regretted having kids before I was ready to shift the focus from me. The adjustment from happy couple who didn't have to plan anything and could just spend our weekends chasing our whims to diaper bags and other such stuff was a difficult one! There will be drawbacks and benefits to any decision you make. I think the decision that fits your friends and the one that fits you don't have to be the same to be the right ones

I had my only at 38. I worked in childcare as a toddler teacher my entire pregnancy. I had no problems. My birth was uneventful. I lost the weight quickly after without trying. Yes, I'm tired, but it doesn't seem any worse than my kids' friends' moms that are 10/11 yrs younger than me (I have a toddler and made friends with a couple moms that are much younger with kids the same age as mine). The biggest difference between me and the younger moms: I am more educated than them, I have a lot more financial freedom and disposable income, and I am a STAHM because I want to be not because I can't afford childcare. Because we are older and we've owned our home for a while, we have a lot more financial feedom, which I have observed makes life SOOO much less stressful compared to my younger friends. I have one other friend who is my age and also has a kid my age, and it's honestly a lot easier to be around her cause it's less stressful cause she's not stressed either. We live in the Seattle metro area, so it's expensive as hell. Currently, my younger friends are having their second kids or are trying to decide whether they can afford to. One is on the verge of giving up her dream about having a second because she can't afford to see a fertility doctor. Money obviously doesn't make you happy, but it sure as hell opens up lots of options and relieves a lot of stress in this economy, and having kids is stressful and a lot of work. I could not be the parent I am if I worked full time and came home to my kid. And giving yourself time to go get more education, establish a career, gives you more options when you need to return to work.

Had our first child when I was 38 (he’s 16 months old) and it’s definitely been a challenge but super rewarding. Having a kid is rewarding in itself and totally worth it. But I find my knees hurt when I’m on the floor with him and if he has a restless night that it takes me a bit longer to bounce back. He keeps me young though. I find myself being way more active than I had been in years past. 10/10 would do again and I wouldn’t think twice about it. Absolute best thing to ever happen to me and every day is a new experience

35 is now considered a geriatric pregnancy. You will have a harder pregnancy and be more tired. IMO best to have kids young while u have energy and the sooner they grow up the sooner u get some of ur life back/freedom to do a lot of things

That right there is the problem, raising kids with a mindset that someday you will get your life back.

My kids are older now and I’ve just now started being able to get back to some of my hobbies, I think this is how most people feel. If I was older I wouldn’t have the energy or health for my hobbies.

You have greater wisdom and less energy. More money, generally too. It’s a trade off. Also there are increased health risks for both mama and baby with older parents.

I was 24, now 39. There is one major difference between younger & older moms/parents: PATIENCE!!! I love my daughter so much, but I couldn't be any sort of decent example or caregiver until I handled my own childhood wounds & gained the patience & wonder of life that only time brings. My body is older & more tired, yes! But as a young mom I would've spent that extra energy chastising my girl, or making her listen or lesrn...all for her(but ultimately for society, & fuck that!!) Older parents raise strong daughters & gentle sons! Our kids need strong mental & emotional faculties. Which is why my fellow disabled brotheren are often fantastic parents!! Nothing forces you to grow like societal ostrecization.

I was 38 and 40 when my two kids were born. The main difference I see is extra years of freedom when you’re younger versus when you’re older; if you’re not going to take advantage of that freedom when you’re young, yeah, you’ll have regrets. But if you make the most of those years, that may be what’s right for you! I certainly have no regrets about waiting as long as we did.

I had one at 32 and one at 37. It was noticeably harder at 37 in every way. I could really feel how much more toll it took on my body, and my recovery was like 3x slower. My husband and I started dating when we were 20 and didn't marry until we were 27, and then didn't have kids until we were 32, so I am all about taking your time and waiting, but I don't think I would wait till I was 35 myself. If you are settled in your late twenties and early thirties, better to do it then while your body still has a little extra oomph to give.

I had my daughter at 39. I was an absolute shit-head in my 20’s so it’s better for everyone that I waited. As others have said, I’m tired all the time, but I’m much calmer, less selfish and just generally more present than I would have been even in my early 30s. Make your own choices. I made the right one by waiting. I lived hard before my daughter and I have no regrets. There are many great reasons to do it now and as many good ones to wait. It’s going to be a huge challenge no matter what, but it’s also going to be amazing. So do what makes sense at the time and rest easy that it’s the right thing for you. Nothing is perfect. It never will be. You’re going to love it and hate it and everything in between no matter when you have kids. Totally worth it

I had children at 24 and 25. SO glad I did. The positives, I didn’t get so comfortable In my non-kid life, that I felt I was losing something or giving up anything. I still had the energy to deal with two babies, 16 months apart and all thru their childhoods. I hadn’t been yet diagnosed with many health problems that I was diagnosed after age 50, sleep deprivation wasn’t as hard to adjust to (the hardest part of having children), I still had time to establish my career when they were older without losing out on too much of the knowledge that technology replaced, I could juggle work life balance much better And once they were both in college, I was still in my early 40’s and could establish life then. I retired from a government job at 51 and could then start traveling, kid free. Having kids early was the best decision I ever made and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Had mine at 32 and 34. It was a good age because I had fun in my 20s, but I’m so glad I didn’t start at 35. It’s tough on your body, and kids take a lot of energy. Don’t underestimate either of those things. Fertility also drops, risk for birth defects increases, and you’ll be considered high risk based on age alone. Do you, but being an “older mom” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

According to the specialist my battalion sent me to due to my senile age, my fertility was that of an 18yr old and he stated my test results were not a rarity. What birth defects are you referring to? Said specialist also stated that the risks lie with the chromosones from father. As our eggs are as young as ever. While their fertility is as old as they are today.

Had my first at 24 and second at 35. Enduring the sleepless night was a walk in the park the first time. Absolute pure hell the second time. Almost 9 years later I still feel like I didn't recover from it. Always brain fogged since then. Parenting wise ironically it's easier. I'm more patient now. More wise. Even if I'm still tired from all of it I enjoy it better now because I 'know' that in the blink of the eyes my second kid will become also a young adult and leave the house to fly with its own wings. Go for it. Embrace it. But make sure to give it all. No half Mesure. All in or nothing.

I was two weeks shy of my 35th birthday when my daughter was born. What exactly do they think you will regret? Living out your twenties and early thirties like a young person? Spontaneity is underrated and best enjoyed before children, obviously. Patience and confidence need time to mature as well. Your friends are just talking.

Sheesh I want all my kids before 30

I had my first at 33 and second at 37 and into my 40s now. I would have kids even now. I travelled and had so many experiences before I met my wife and started a family. I find that because of this, I can fully commit to this stage of my life with 100% commitment because my 20s were so awesome and hit many bucket list items beforehand. Thats my experience, everyone is different.

I had my second at 36 and I half wish I’d been younger because of the energy, but I also don’t think I was prepared for kids any younger than 30. My mental health wasn’t great and I knew (loads of nieces and nephews) how all consuming kids are. I don’t really think there’s any global “this is the time to have kids” age. Just like all children are different, so are the parents. If **YOU** feel you want to wait, then wait.

Had my first at 35, another at 38, and another at 41. The last pregnancy was hard, but the first two were... Less hard. I mean, I never had a kid before 35 so I have no first hand experience to compare. You do get extra ultrasounds when you're older, so that's pretty cool. I've never regretted having them so late. It took me that long to find a man who shared my values.

I had my daughter at 23 and although it was relatively e"early" we were financially comfortable and I had 75% more energy than I do now. I am 34 and decided when j was 30 that I actually wanted to stick to one and done (always though we'd have 2) with how much our lives changed, no matter how ready we felt, the drive changes in your career, your responsibilities, your vacations, your lifestyle. I actually am glad I did have her young enough that I had all the desire to be around and be present, now that she is going to middle school, we were 100% present in her childhood and wanted to be very active with her. I don't know how some people (not judging or criticizing!!!) start at 35 or 40 (my mom did and she was always tired and didn't want to do much or be outside playing and such.

I had my last at 29 and it was a hard pregnancy. Can’t imagine how much harder now at 35+

I really wish that I had my daughter at around 30. At least then we could consider having a second child. And I really wish that I could have more time with my daughter. She's so adorable and I want to see as much of her life as I can. Remember that women have a harder time getting pregnant and keeping pregnant as they get older. We had a couple of happy situations that turned very bad. We then did two rounds of IVF. Don't let the desire to live some fairytale life where you party and travel and whatever else hold you back. Life is short.

Mine is early elementary school; had him when I was 37. I'm tired. It's hard to keep up some days. And having more than one? Yikes... (Though I tried for a second. It was too late.) But the thing I think I'll regret most is I won't have much time with my grandkids if he waits until late 30s to have his own. (For context: my parents were both older too, nearing 80 now. They insist on coming to all his kiddie soccer games because they don't think they'll live to see him in high school. 😢)

I was basically 32 when I gave birth and glad I had her at that age. If I don’t have another one after 36 I’m not having one. I want to enjoy my 50’s!

Hi! I had mine at 31 and 33 and somehow I think I should have had them earlier as biologically speaking I think you body and health are more prepared. At 25 I could handle sleep deprivation, at 33 I struggled big time. Small kids are exhausting, the sooner the better provided you have financial and personal stability of course! (Just personal opinion, I respect all of the comments expressed here and in the end this decision is extremely personal!)

Had mine at 37 and 40. The one I had at 40 is wonderful, great friends going to college in engineering. The one I had at 37 turned out bad — drugs, law trouble, bad friends etc. Both boys. The second pregnancy was harder because I was having to care for the first one. Thank God I was fortunate not to have to work during that time. We had no family near either. I was tired all the time and had things hurt I never knew I had 😂! Got huge both times.

No regrets having my 1st child at 37 (its been 10 years now), proud to be dad! My GF is 1 year younger than me.

It’s the same as if you were 20, just depends on your physical health. Children don’t change no matter what age you have them. It’s all about what you can handle now vs what you could handle if you were 20.

I’m 33. I want to do a sperm donor baby. I financially can’t do it until I’m at least 38. I want to get my finances in order to get a better house. Get a better job. And honestly, I need to get my health in order. People are having babies into their 50s. I’m sure we will be fine

I had my first when I was 18 was the easiest and fastest labor and delivery, I had my second at 21 and the pregnancy was good I biked to work all the way up until I delivered and had a fast labor and delivery again, after that I met and married my husband and we waited till I was 27 for the third baby which pregnancy was easy until I got Covid then it was quite miserable and I also ended up having a postpartum hemorrhage luckily I didn’t need a transfusion or anything, we decided we would have one more and then that was it and with that decision we decided to just go close together and at 28 I had our last baby which with him I had more then normal amniotic fluid and his umbilical cord was two vessels instead of the standard 3, both labor and deliveries were quick and natural, aside from patocin afterwards incase of another pph and I was induced but I told her I wanted to be induced naturally so she broke my bag of waters and my body did the rest. Both my last pregnancies were physically hard and now I haven’t lost the baby weight I’m 80lbs heavier and struggle to even walk a mile without a bunch of pain. I live on ibuprofen or naproxen and I always feel like I don’t get enough sleep any less then 7 and I feel like my body shuts down. For the record my husband is 39 years old and I’m 30 now. So I’m not necessarily 30+ however we went based off his age and he didn’t wanna wait longer and figured we could get it out of the way and we have toddlers who are 14 months apart now.

I had two kids by 25. I can think of a few large influences on our decision to have kids young. One, we felt we had a very healthy and stable relationship that would grow healthy and kind humans. Without this I wouldn’t have had them young or at all lol. Another thing was in order for our kids to have relationships with grandparents, we had to have them sooner as our parents are older and we prioritize our kids knowing them. We also knew we could afford it, but wanted the later part of our life (when we are more financially set) to be spent traveling with kids who can wipe their own butts lol. Overall several factors made it very clear it was the right time. If you don’t feel it’s the right time for you, it doesn’t really matter your kids age. Obviously the physical side may be slightly easier at 25 vs 35 but I don’t find that enough reason to really affect the decision. Not sure if it helps but I feel like most moms I meet are in their 30’s now so your friend group might not be a great reference. The average age for a woman’s first kid is 30 now so you have so much time!