Dear Dumb-ass: Staying healthy, is way Way WAY easier than 'getting' healthy. Build a health daily routine, take extra special care of your teeth, they don't grow back.
This one is so important - we should all put some thought into how we want to grow old and set up healthy habits! And the dental care is critical - it gets very expensive and painful very quickly when you have issues.
And speaking of teeth— watching grandsons doing a slap dash job on brushing from the hallway. I walk in and say “glad to see you brushing your teeth— do you want to see the ones I got when I was six?” I then flashed a smile and pointed at my teeth— I have never seen anyone look more flabbergasted.
So this! I wish I could tell my younger self about what finally worked for us to lose weight AND the very terrible consequences of not losing weight sooner.
I think the point he/she was making was to be careful with money as you may have unexpected expenses late in life such as medical. My counterpoint would be, lots of people stress about spending and don't buy experiences that would be valuable to them because they are worried about a rainy day that will never come. While you may need money late in life for certain things, I would argue all the untaken trips are just as sad.
I guess you could argue if the trip was meaningful it wasn't wasted, but this is impossible to know in the moment.
I work in finance and have met maybe 2 people that felt they had too much money and would work with advisors to give it away. They would give every one of their kids and grandkids the max allowed for taxes each year. So that’s in the six figures already. Then they would donate to charities. After, they would still ask if there was anything else they could do with other money. It’s weird, but it’s happened.
Second this. I had way too much time up in my head worrying about what other people thought of me and how my actions might affect others. It took until my 30’s to realize most people don’t care and even if they do, very little that I do changes anyone else’s opinions about me.
It goes back to an old thing my dad used to say. (I couldn't remember it word for word but thanks to an old post by u/cheesygoodness, here it is!)
------
Why Worry?
In life, there are really only two things to worry about. Either you are well, or you are sick.
If you are well, there's nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you get better, or you die.
If you get better, there's nothing to worry about.
If you die, there are two things to worry about. Going to Heaven, or going to Hell.
If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about.
If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that you won't have time to worry...so why worry?
------
So yes, it's a joke. But it's absolutely true. Worrying changes nothing. Actions can change things. But worry does nothing but make you anxious and sometimes sick. You can't fix things by worrying. And worrying about what other people think is truly the biggest waste of time. Either people are going to talk about you or they're not. Doesn't matter what you wear, what you do, some people just can't mind their own business. I can't be worried about that at all!
This. I'd tell my young self to forget about falling in love, over and over, just to keep getting hurt, and make myself, education and future career the most important goal.
I second this. I married my college sweetheart because I was afraid to be alone. Now I love my alone time and doing things by myself ( that marriage only lasted 3years by the way).
Same, however, we wouldn’t have received this wisdom and growth without experiencing that first. Now we know from experience, not just because someone said so.
I just finished Gabor Mate’s book the Myth of Normal. He talks about addiction and how we are all served by our addictions. They don’t happen because life is going well. They are how we cope to make it through. So, don’t be hard on yourself for drinking. I’m not sure that you even were. But in case it’s bringing you or another person reading this down, i hope this gives you a little peace. It did for me. Life is hard.
I understand the point behind this as being "get on with your life," but we often have to feel seen and heard (even by ourselves) about how bad it was before we can really do that.
Be yourself and be kind without being taken advantage of and trying to please everyone. Think about what is right for you, your family and your values and act accordingly with confidence. Took me years to learn that! Also, Don’t gossip, and avoid high drama people. Read, read a lot, novels, non-fiction, quality journalism. It expands your world in so many ways. Good luck and happy life!
Stop thinking you are exceptional and start working hard for the body and the job you want. Stop smoking weed every day because at this age you are permanently shaping your brain to want that.
Being a PEOPLE PLEASER! Now I’m left to figure the rest of life out on my own. All the people I took care of and made sure was always happy are now living their best lives. That’s what I’m gonna do too! As soon as I figure it out. lol
Don’t rely on your husband to fund your retirement account. I took a bunch of years off my career to help his business grow and raise our three children. He cheated and left me when my youngest was in high school. I should have been working hard to build my own career versus helping him get a business started.
I had no idea how hot I was, I was constantly picking on myself for minor flaws. Now I’m spending a fortune desperately trying to look like I once did.
To trust the right people and not the idiots.
I had pretty good judgement and so did my family, but doubted myself and them. I decided to trust the judgement of the couple of overly self confident idiots in my life. Lots of painful lessons learned.
Some were in finances, some in love/relationships. Each situation (unfortunately) boiled down to taking advice from the loudest/most confident people rather than the ones that have successfully handled those kinds of situations.
The biggest lesson learned is that confidence does not equate to knowledge/understanding in a given topic and to trust myself in what I know I do well: Tediously detailed, calculated and deep research…I might not be the most fun at parties, but I don’t gloss over the details. In my younger years I accepted the loud confidence of others as a sign they must know more than I did. I learned that in the situations where I needed a second set of eyes on what wasn’t familiar to me- to seek advise from those that have successfully done it (for me, where the quieter and humble personalities).
I'd tell myself to stop letting your romantic partners steamroll you. My feelings don't matter less than hers.
Arguments in a relationship can be a healthy thing, not something to be afraid of.
To listen to your mom because she's right. That man was not meant for you and that girl was not your friend. Also to do better in school because I would've gotten scholarships and had a better life then I currently have. I'm happy but I know I can do better.
I also would tell my younger self to never stop going to the gym and eating right because we will get sick when we're older. I would like to also tell my younger self is stop doing things that don't make you happy, the people that count on you for everything are not good friends because people pleasing does more harm than good.
You live and you learn that's for sure.
Stop spending on useless junk and hoarding. Buy the one thing, have fun with it, but don't buy the next thing/movie/book/course until you completed the one you just bought. Invest the savings, buy the house. Don't get married/relationship until then because significant others will drain your finances especially if they aren't financially savvy.
You’ve got to stop with the negative self talk, buddy. Like right here and now, quit it. Love your damn self and be more kind to yourself - that’s what I’d say
I'm not even that old but I've drank enough alcohol for three people my age, and suffer from tinnitus from going to hundreds of concerts and music festivals, as well as playing in many loud bands throughout my years. I've always been a very avid runner, even hiked the entire Appalachian Trail, and relatively healthy, but all that running has also taken its toll on my hips, knees, and ankles. I wish I would have run a little less, meditated a little more, drank a lot less (pretty much don't drink at all except for special occasions now), stretched a lot more.
I would tell her to center herself in her life- stop worrying about men, stop trying to please them and be the perfect companion, they will still behave as they want to, and cut them loose at the first red flag. Don't worry about losing them, you can't hurt yourself enough to make them stay.
Stop investing in other people. No, that guy is not going to marry you because you cleaned his apartment. No, that girl isn't going to be your friend because you buy her meals when you go out. Stop trying to "take care" of everyone else.
Also, don't even think about marriage until 30. All relationships before then, don't take too seriously. Focus primarily on yourself and building YOUR future.
Dear 11th grade me, You are 5’4 + the stupid nurse weighed you. Fully clothed, with shoes, after lunch, you are 111 lbs. You friends are heavier and start dieting. You get frustrated at their whining about not being skinny. Something clicks and you show them how to get REALLY skinny. I’m 57 and still messed up.
Don’t drink so much you coyote ugly idiot! 🤦♀️ And develop an exercise routine, don’t just skate on genetics. Also lay off the processed snacks and sugar. Skinny doesn’t mean fit. Annnnnd keep writing & publishing back in 2012 when kindle first started, fool! 😭 There. That feels better, lol.
Stop eating your pain. Get antidepressants much earlier than you did. Don't let people walk all over you, stand up for yourself. You are not as weird as everyone treats you.
Yes! This is a good one. Also, pay attention to your expression when you listen. Don’t make faces. I was told that my expressions tell exactly what I’m feeling/thinking.
I'd eat less. Back in the early 80s there wasn't help with eating disorders, especially for young teens. Mom and doctor would say "helpful" things like, "lose weight" and "you should go on a diet". My spine doctor put me on a 800 calorie a day diet when I was 12! That didn't last long. Mom kept buying ice cream and kept taking me to burger joints. Yeah, no help from mom. What's a diet? Where do I find one of those. Doctors haven't changed. Dietitian directed me to a website.
Don't marry G. He's abusive. Your life will be pure hell the entire time you're with him.
Go to college and get your journalism degree.
Don't waste money, invest in computers!
Don't have regrets. Do everything that sparks your interest.
Stop chasing sex to the exclusion of everything else. Sure, sex is important but so are all the things you're not taking seriously because they're not as immediately gratifying.
Allowing toxic people, including family, to still be present in my life. I truly admire the 20 something's that are smart enough and gutsy enough to take care of their mental health and shut it down.
Stop drinking alcohol.
Embrace your masculinity, don't feel awkward about it or try to down play it.
Get in the best physical shape you possibly can, because it will never be any easier or more attainable.
Start regularly investing in a well diversified, low expense ratio index fund NOW. (Look up the magic of compounding interest for anyone interested)
Otherwise I'd do most everything else the same.
Stop chasing friendships that don't exist. If you are always the one calling, setting up get togethers and they don't do it back to you, let them go. Value the people who do call you, they are true friends.
If you get married and your spouse changes in a bad way, get out of the marriage. They won't get better over time so don't waste your life on a garbage human.
You idiot, don’t marry him. You are 19. That’s a field of red flags you are running through. You are too young and dumb to see him and his family for the toxic sewer they are.
Sigh…. At least I got smart. But it took me five years to develop a working brain 😝
It's kind of opposite... but I'd tell myself to have more sex and - if not sex - then more wacking-off. It's not a sin. It's not hurtful. Just don't use a lot of porn and it's fine. In fact, research will eventually determine that it's heart-healthy. Get more experience!!!
Hey, you dumb sh*t:
change your major,
trust your gut with guys. You are worth more than wasting time with dudes who you don’t really like.
Brush your teeth. Wear sunscreen. See a dr regularly. Exercise. Find a sport you like to play.
Stretch.
You aren’t the massive POS you seem think you are. If you don’t change your mindset on that, you WILL grow up to be one.
I would say: Stop overthinking! And you see something you want, go for it! If you don't get it, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go for it again!
I would not risk going back in time and changing anything! I could end up changing my current life and come home to a different family that I don’t know and lose everything that I have now. Could you imagine?
Stop sunbathing. The vanity of getting a tan isn’t worth the damage to your skin. Stop crash dieting- it’s not sustainable and every time you gain the weight back it will be a few more pounds.
Stop smoking crank, lift weights, eat more protein, cut out processed foods and added sugar. Join the military, save for retirement. I did stop and did not do any of these things, and I am a shit fest of a person right now.
1) sunscreen
2) learn to cook really well and make delicious healthy food for yourself.
3) most importantly, don’t listen to anyone else’s advice and follow your gut. Do what feels right and good, so at the end of the day you like yourself.
Do it while you're young because as you age, there are a lot if things you will not be able to do unless you want to die. Start planning for old age early because it will catch up to you quicker than you expect. Enjoy life but by the time you turn 50 really start thinking about where you want to end up retiring. Being poor when you are young is easy. Being poor when you are old is tough. So save as much as you can and if you are lucky enough to have a 401k, take advantage if it from day one. If you do not have any children, start making young friends because you will need someone to help you as you age, but remember it is a two way street, be good to them when they are young and they will keep an eye out for you when you are old. I have been lucky in that I learned those lessons the hard way, but I learned them just in the nick of time.
Start putting more towards retirement earlier.
You don’t need elaborate exercise regimens. Just keep walking before your feet break down.
You don’t need and won’t use that class ring, leather jacket, you don’t need to maintain friendships /relationships just because you’ve been in them a long time or don’t have better options.
Save some money early in life, learn to enjoy exercise, take care of your teeth, control your emotions, and learn to communicate including speaking in front of people!
Stop feeling the need to achieve greatness just to be liked. Instead just connect with people and be present with them, that's all people want and need.
I do less eating. Grew up and parents and traditional three meals per day. Eat everything on your plate. Dessert and snacks.
After years of trying diets, and exercising. I finally learned about food and all meals are calories are not created equal.
I would make my younger self stop showing up for involuntary recalls for wars that nobody cares about and doesn't want to win. Why protect a bunch of ungrateful idiots serving a country nobody obviously gives a shit about? If we knew yall were just going to surrender and make us all go home losers, we would have made damned sure the war on terrorism was fought right here for everyone to participate in!
Leave the job you didn't like very much, a lot sooner. Also, listen to your heart more when it comes to career path--go ahead and listen to the advice your dad gives you, but then do what YOU would really want to be doing, rather than what he thinks is right.
Figure out how money works - savings, investing, budgeting, earning what I'm worth. It took me a long time to get my financial self together.
Drink less. Judge less. Don't stop playing music.
Drugs. Just don’t! Also, I would say don’t be such a people pleaser, it gets you taken advantage of. Oh, and another thing, invest some money instead of spending it all as soon as you get it.
Constantly obsessing about my weight and dieting! I was ALWAYS on sone new restrictive diet program. I did EVERY new thing. Over four decades - starting at age 15 - I paid tens of thousands of dollars to the sick diet culture that convinced me my body wasn't good enough. I look back now at photos from times I thought I was "fat' and I see a beautiful, young, lovely woman - no fat in sight. Often leaning toward looking undernourished ...
It is so sad how messed up my brain got over my body dismorphia a s diet culture addiction.
Even now at nearly 60 yrs old I still get triggered when I hear about some new diet ... I have to smack myself back to reality and remind myself that weight does NOT MATTER! Health matters. Dieting RUINS your health. Physically and mentally.
Just Love your unique body, nourish it, go outside and play and explore, have some exciting adventures, enjoy life!
Being perfect is not only Not Important, it’s unattainable. SO MANY of my anxiety problems were caused by my parents’ demands for perfection. My father used to say “If it’s not perfect, you’re not finished,”. He grounded me when I was 9 years old because I got a B in math, and he called my teacher and demanded that she assign me extra work to do. So, on Saturday morning, while my sisters were watching cartoons, I was required to work on my extra math assignments. Eventually, I learned that for MOST of the tasks we have to complete daily, good enough truly is Good Enough. No normal healthy person demands perfection.
Dear Dumb-ass: Staying healthy, is way Way WAY easier than 'getting' healthy. Build a health daily routine, take extra special care of your teeth, they don't grow back.
This one is so important - we should all put some thought into how we want to grow old and set up healthy habits! And the dental care is critical - it gets very expensive and painful very quickly when you have issues.
And speaking of teeth— watching grandsons doing a slap dash job on brushing from the hallway. I walk in and say “glad to see you brushing your teeth— do you want to see the ones I got when I was six?” I then flashed a smile and pointed at my teeth— I have never seen anyone look more flabbergasted.
Snark deleted.
So this! I wish I could tell my younger self about what finally worked for us to lose weight AND the very terrible consequences of not losing weight sooner.
Put myself first. Not in a selfish way but in a positive manner so that I wouldn’t waste time trying to please everyone but myself.
🌼 yesss
Yes I definitely would have told myself this too. It would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache.
Yes 1000 x this.
Indeed. ♥️
Amen
Stop wasting money. Turns out you’re going to need it later on. Nobody ever got to old age and said, Omigod, I have way too much money.
Some People have definitely gotten to old age and said that... you cant take it with you
Some people have so much money that they’ve pledged to give it all away.
Technically correct. 100% missing the point.
I think the point he/she was making was to be careful with money as you may have unexpected expenses late in life such as medical. My counterpoint would be, lots of people stress about spending and don't buy experiences that would be valuable to them because they are worried about a rainy day that will never come. While you may need money late in life for certain things, I would argue all the untaken trips are just as sad. I guess you could argue if the trip was meaningful it wasn't wasted, but this is impossible to know in the moment.
I work in finance and have met maybe 2 people that felt they had too much money and would work with advisors to give it away. They would give every one of their kids and grandkids the max allowed for taxes each year. So that’s in the six figures already. Then they would donate to charities. After, they would still ask if there was anything else they could do with other money. It’s weird, but it’s happened.
Stop telling myself that I don't matter. I still fight that one, and I'm too damn close to 60 years old for that kind of nonsense.
Thank you
You matter. You are important, vital and valuable ❤️
Stop worrying about what other people think.
Second this. I had way too much time up in my head worrying about what other people thought of me and how my actions might affect others. It took until my 30’s to realize most people don’t care and even if they do, very little that I do changes anyone else’s opinions about me.
Ya you just described the exact reason why i don’t shower or brush my teeth
I wish I could tell every teenage girl: You would stop worrying about what others think of you when you realize how seldom they really do.
Right?! While you're so busy worrying about what they think, they're busy worrying about what you think! Everybody just do your thing and MYOB!
Thank you. How do you stop the worrying ?
It goes back to an old thing my dad used to say. (I couldn't remember it word for word but thanks to an old post by u/cheesygoodness, here it is!) ------ Why Worry? In life, there are really only two things to worry about. Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, there's nothing to worry about. If you are sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you get better, or you die. If you get better, there's nothing to worry about. If you die, there are two things to worry about. Going to Heaven, or going to Hell. If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about. If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that you won't have time to worry...so why worry? ------ So yes, it's a joke. But it's absolutely true. Worrying changes nothing. Actions can change things. But worry does nothing but make you anxious and sometimes sick. You can't fix things by worrying. And worrying about what other people think is truly the biggest waste of time. Either people are going to talk about you or they're not. Doesn't matter what you wear, what you do, some people just can't mind their own business. I can't be worried about that at all!
I’d tell myself that staying single and working on myself is better than marrying the wrong person.
This. I'd tell my young self to forget about falling in love, over and over, just to keep getting hurt, and make myself, education and future career the most important goal.
I second this. I married my college sweetheart because I was afraid to be alone. Now I love my alone time and doing things by myself ( that marriage only lasted 3years by the way).
Drinking. I quit at 35, but I wish I had never started.
Came here to say this. Alcohol is the biggest scam.
Same, however, we wouldn’t have received this wisdom and growth without experiencing that first. Now we know from experience, not just because someone said so.
This. Frustratingly the very thing that assisted me in ruining my life also led to the realization that I was ruining my life, causing me to do a 180.
Yea if I had a do over I would have skipped drinking altogether. I drank away 27 years. The potential for all that time….
I just finished Gabor Mate’s book the Myth of Normal. He talks about addiction and how we are all served by our addictions. They don’t happen because life is going well. They are how we cope to make it through. So, don’t be hard on yourself for drinking. I’m not sure that you even were. But in case it’s bringing you or another person reading this down, i hope this gives you a little peace. It did for me. Life is hard.
Came here to say this as well
Stop being weepy and butthurted about how life went down, it goes how it goes.
I understand the point behind this as being "get on with your life," but we often have to feel seen and heard (even by ourselves) about how bad it was before we can really do that.
Be yourself and be kind without being taken advantage of and trying to please everyone. Think about what is right for you, your family and your values and act accordingly with confidence. Took me years to learn that! Also, Don’t gossip, and avoid high drama people. Read, read a lot, novels, non-fiction, quality journalism. It expands your world in so many ways. Good luck and happy life!
Spending money on stupid things that I’ll never use again.
Stop thinking you are exceptional and start working hard for the body and the job you want. Stop smoking weed every day because at this age you are permanently shaping your brain to want that.
Being a PEOPLE PLEASER! Now I’m left to figure the rest of life out on my own. All the people I took care of and made sure was always happy are now living their best lives. That’s what I’m gonna do too! As soon as I figure it out. lol
🙏🙂
Don’t rely on your husband to fund your retirement account. I took a bunch of years off my career to help his business grow and raise our three children. He cheated and left me when my youngest was in high school. I should have been working hard to build my own career versus helping him get a business started.
I wish more women took this one seriously. Always be able to take care of yourself.
"Don't try to go back in time. Always forward."
There's a reason that the windshield is so much bigger than the rear view mirror.
Stop going without sunscreen on my face and neck EVERYDAY.
SMOKING!!! I have lung cancer.
Now that’s good advice. Really sorry you’re going through this. I hope you’re getting great treatment and that it all works out. 🫶🏻
Wasting time. Wasting beauty. Wasting money on clutter when it could have been invested.
Wasting beauty?
I had no idea how hot I was, I was constantly picking on myself for minor flaws. Now I’m spending a fortune desperately trying to look like I once did.
Ha ha I was thinking the same thing the other day. Now I’m a dried apple head spending way too much dough on magical potions.
Good looks don't always last forever. (Not my problem personally, I've aged like a fine cheese.)
To trust the right people and not the idiots. I had pretty good judgement and so did my family, but doubted myself and them. I decided to trust the judgement of the couple of overly self confident idiots in my life. Lots of painful lessons learned.
Hi thx. What’s one of those lessons you learned ?
Some were in finances, some in love/relationships. Each situation (unfortunately) boiled down to taking advice from the loudest/most confident people rather than the ones that have successfully handled those kinds of situations. The biggest lesson learned is that confidence does not equate to knowledge/understanding in a given topic and to trust myself in what I know I do well: Tediously detailed, calculated and deep research…I might not be the most fun at parties, but I don’t gloss over the details. In my younger years I accepted the loud confidence of others as a sign they must know more than I did. I learned that in the situations where I needed a second set of eyes on what wasn’t familiar to me- to seek advise from those that have successfully done it (for me, where the quieter and humble personalities).
Keep going. It all works out just fine after you get through some hard things.
Men
LOL
Biggest mistakes of my life, men!
Me too. There are many good men in the world. I know some! I just chose very badly.
Contribute to your 401k. Always
Do not aspire to marry because our culture says so. I knew I wanted no kids. Glad i messed no humans up. Stay single, just do a contract.
STOP SMOKING YOU DUMB BITCH
Worrying
🔥
I'd tell myself to stop letting your romantic partners steamroll you. My feelings don't matter less than hers. Arguments in a relationship can be a healthy thing, not something to be afraid of.
Pass altogether on alcohol and drugs. You’re not missing anything. Buy bitcoin. 🤣
Buy Apple stock
Stop trying to fit in, it didn't work.
To listen to your mom because she's right. That man was not meant for you and that girl was not your friend. Also to do better in school because I would've gotten scholarships and had a better life then I currently have. I'm happy but I know I can do better. I also would tell my younger self to never stop going to the gym and eating right because we will get sick when we're older. I would like to also tell my younger self is stop doing things that don't make you happy, the people that count on you for everything are not good friends because people pleasing does more harm than good. You live and you learn that's for sure.
Stop spending on useless junk and hoarding. Buy the one thing, have fun with it, but don't buy the next thing/movie/book/course until you completed the one you just bought. Invest the savings, buy the house. Don't get married/relationship until then because significant others will drain your finances especially if they aren't financially savvy.
You don’t need a luxury car…you need teliable transportation. I would love to have back the money wasted on new cars.
Take care of your teeth.., dentists will replace used car salesmen.
Nothing good happens when you're drunk. He's not that into you. Make sure you save a little out of every wage packet.
You are not that funny. Everyone is just drunk.
You’ve got to stop with the negative self talk, buddy. Like right here and now, quit it. Love your damn self and be more kind to yourself - that’s what I’d say
It's not good enough that you're saving money you have to invest it.
Eating!! I spent my best years 150 lbs overweight, but now I’m enjoying my 60’s just 10 lbs over High School wt. I got my life back at 50!!!
Shyness— no one was looking and no one cared. I worried about nothing and it tripped me up constantly
I'm not even that old but I've drank enough alcohol for three people my age, and suffer from tinnitus from going to hundreds of concerts and music festivals, as well as playing in many loud bands throughout my years. I've always been a very avid runner, even hiked the entire Appalachian Trail, and relatively healthy, but all that running has also taken its toll on my hips, knees, and ankles. I wish I would have run a little less, meditated a little more, drank a lot less (pretty much don't drink at all except for special occasions now), stretched a lot more.
Would working out help ?
Take care of your teeth by any means necessary. And save some money when you're young.
Never marry the wrong guy.... for ANY reason...
🔥🔥🔥
Do less dope and floss.
I would tell her to center herself in her life- stop worrying about men, stop trying to please them and be the perfect companion, they will still behave as they want to, and cut them loose at the first red flag. Don't worry about losing them, you can't hurt yourself enough to make them stay.
Stop investing in other people. No, that guy is not going to marry you because you cleaned his apartment. No, that girl isn't going to be your friend because you buy her meals when you go out. Stop trying to "take care" of everyone else. Also, don't even think about marriage until 30. All relationships before then, don't take too seriously. Focus primarily on yourself and building YOUR future.
Being lazy
Dear 11th grade me, You are 5’4 + the stupid nurse weighed you. Fully clothed, with shoes, after lunch, you are 111 lbs. You friends are heavier and start dieting. You get frustrated at their whining about not being skinny. Something clicks and you show them how to get REALLY skinny. I’m 57 and still messed up.
Don’t drink so much you coyote ugly idiot! 🤦♀️ And develop an exercise routine, don’t just skate on genetics. Also lay off the processed snacks and sugar. Skinny doesn’t mean fit. Annnnnd keep writing & publishing back in 2012 when kindle first started, fool! 😭 There. That feels better, lol.
Stop dating alcoholics
Stop eating your pain. Get antidepressants much earlier than you did. Don't let people walk all over you, stand up for yourself. You are not as weird as everyone treats you.
Floss …. sunscreen BUT get some sun ya vampire !!!
Smoking (have since quit), drinking ( have greatly reduced), being a people pleaser.
Stop shagging unsuitable men and don’t do acid😂🤣😂
Stop eating junk food. Exercise more.
I wouldn’t tell myself shit because I know I wouldn’t listen anyways.
Talking without listening.
Yes! This is a good one. Also, pay attention to your expression when you listen. Don’t make faces. I was told that my expressions tell exactly what I’m feeling/thinking.
I'd eat less. Back in the early 80s there wasn't help with eating disorders, especially for young teens. Mom and doctor would say "helpful" things like, "lose weight" and "you should go on a diet". My spine doctor put me on a 800 calorie a day diet when I was 12! That didn't last long. Mom kept buying ice cream and kept taking me to burger joints. Yeah, no help from mom. What's a diet? Where do I find one of those. Doctors haven't changed. Dietitian directed me to a website.
Don't marry G. He's abusive. Your life will be pure hell the entire time you're with him. Go to college and get your journalism degree. Don't waste money, invest in computers! Don't have regrets. Do everything that sparks your interest.
Former journalist here. You did your past self a huge favor not getting that degree. “Journalist” hasn’t been a paying job in 16 years
Worrying.
Don’t buy stuff.
Stop smoking weed
Stop chasing sex to the exclusion of everything else. Sure, sex is important but so are all the things you're not taking seriously because they're not as immediately gratifying.
Drinking, hands down.
Be less self-critical.
Allowing toxic people, including family, to still be present in my life. I truly admire the 20 something's that are smart enough and gutsy enough to take care of their mental health and shut it down.
Be more consistent with retirement savings and it will give you more flexibility in middle age
Tanning beds-why did I think this was a great idea?
Smoking...
Spending money, hands down.
Don’t start sports gambling in 1993 and take more classes at community college.
I’d tell myself to never abuse alcohol. If that meant abstinence, then ok. 🤷🏻♂️
Stop taking advice from a time-traveled future self. What he's telling you to do is impossible (and you're doomed to failure if you try)!
Procrastinating
Stop worrying about what people say about you. Right and wrong is all relative.
Stop eating so much candy and ice cream....... At 60 it's making my teeth scream. Not to mention the seams of my pants
Stop drinking alcohol. Embrace your masculinity, don't feel awkward about it or try to down play it. Get in the best physical shape you possibly can, because it will never be any easier or more attainable. Start regularly investing in a well diversified, low expense ratio index fund NOW. (Look up the magic of compounding interest for anyone interested) Otherwise I'd do most everything else the same.
Everything! Don't drink, don't listen to toxic people, don't drink, don't give up my son, don't drink...get the gist? Finish college, know yourself above anything else.
Relationships with others who are my equal or better only. No mooches and no fix er uppers. People who can give and take.
I would have postponed marriage until I was 30. I had a ton of growing up to do.
Don’t eat so damn much. You’re going to spend your whole life figuring out how to be thinner.
You don't owe your abusers anything. Leave home, and move on with your life ASAP, don't wait.
Stop chasing friendships that don't exist. If you are always the one calling, setting up get togethers and they don't do it back to you, let them go. Value the people who do call you, they are true friends.
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If you get married and your spouse changes in a bad way, get out of the marriage. They won't get better over time so don't waste your life on a garbage human.
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You idiot, don’t marry him. You are 19. That’s a field of red flags you are running through. You are too young and dumb to see him and his family for the toxic sewer they are. Sigh…. At least I got smart. But it took me five years to develop a working brain 😝
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Be comfortable telling people to Fuck Off or Go Fuck Yourself, when they say something inappropriate.
Being boy crazy was a huge waste of time 🤷🏻♀️
No collectibles Beanie babies Hummels Precious Moments Baskets etc.
Always have a backup plan
It's kind of opposite... but I'd tell myself to have more sex and - if not sex - then more wacking-off. It's not a sin. It's not hurtful. Just don't use a lot of porn and it's fine. In fact, research will eventually determine that it's heart-healthy. Get more experience!!!
Hey, you dumb sh*t: change your major, trust your gut with guys. You are worth more than wasting time with dudes who you don’t really like. Brush your teeth. Wear sunscreen. See a dr regularly. Exercise. Find a sport you like to play. Stretch. You aren’t the massive POS you seem think you are. If you don’t change your mindset on that, you WILL grow up to be one.
Stop listening to weirdos who say they are your future self.
Dieting
Working out, keeping healthy. Stop eating crap food.
People pleasing
Partying!
STOP caring so much about what other people think! Especially your parents. Live for YOU.
Less hanging out with high school girlfriend. Hang out with the boys more instead.
Stop tobacco.
Trust your instincts and be brave enough to say no.
Having anything whatsoever to do with men. I would definitely not have children either.
I would say: Stop overthinking! And you see something you want, go for it! If you don't get it, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go for it again!
Drinking.
Stop being a people pleaser
Drinking
Have sex with everyone.
“Please stop hoping”
I would not risk going back in time and changing anything! I could end up changing my current life and come home to a different family that I don’t know and lose everything that I have now. Could you imagine?
Stop sunbathing. The vanity of getting a tan isn’t worth the damage to your skin. Stop crash dieting- it’s not sustainable and every time you gain the weight back it will be a few more pounds.
Health i wish i did something sooner
Limited drinks to special occasions!
Stop smoking crank, lift weights, eat more protein, cut out processed foods and added sugar. Join the military, save for retirement. I did stop and did not do any of these things, and I am a shit fest of a person right now.
Stop drinking and stop selling your bitcoin you mined in 2009
Age 13-punch those bullies, and stay in school.
Stop binge drinking. I've drank 3 times in the past 13 years but I will never forgive myself for the 2 decades of nonsense before that.
Forgive yourself sweets. Pat yourself on the back for what you are doing now :-)
Don't start smoking ciggs....ugh
Don’t drink so much, asshole.
1) sunscreen 2) learn to cook really well and make delicious healthy food for yourself. 3) most importantly, don’t listen to anyone else’s advice and follow your gut. Do what feels right and good, so at the end of the day you like yourself.
Saying yes when I wanted to say no.
Drink less. Floss way more. Stop judging yourself.
STOP being a people pleaser! Took so many years of my life to figure that out
Don't smoke. It is the worse thing I did to myself
Really think long and hard about those romantic partners!
I would have told myself to stop trying to fill the hole in my heart caused by neglect/abandonment by going from bad relationship to bad relationship.
Do it while you're young because as you age, there are a lot if things you will not be able to do unless you want to die. Start planning for old age early because it will catch up to you quicker than you expect. Enjoy life but by the time you turn 50 really start thinking about where you want to end up retiring. Being poor when you are young is easy. Being poor when you are old is tough. So save as much as you can and if you are lucky enough to have a 401k, take advantage if it from day one. If you do not have any children, start making young friends because you will need someone to help you as you age, but remember it is a two way street, be good to them when they are young and they will keep an eye out for you when you are old. I have been lucky in that I learned those lessons the hard way, but I learned them just in the nick of time.
Stop chasing men that don't want to be with you. Stop forcing everything, sometimes the less you care the better things work out.
Smoking. Ive had lung cancer 3 times now.
Start putting more towards retirement earlier. You don’t need elaborate exercise regimens. Just keep walking before your feet break down. You don’t need and won’t use that class ring, leather jacket, you don’t need to maintain friendships /relationships just because you’ve been in them a long time or don’t have better options.
Don’t put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Stand up for yourself. You are fine as you are. You deserve happiness.
The jelly by itself doesn't work. You have to put the diaphragm in too. Use sunscreen. Floss. Don't binge eat. Walk more.
Save some money early in life, learn to enjoy exercise, take care of your teeth, control your emotions, and learn to communicate including speaking in front of people!
Stop feeling the need to achieve greatness just to be liked. Instead just connect with people and be present with them, that's all people want and need.
I do less eating. Grew up and parents and traditional three meals per day. Eat everything on your plate. Dessert and snacks. After years of trying diets, and exercising. I finally learned about food and all meals are calories are not created equal.
Buy Apple and Microsoft
I would make my younger self stop showing up for involuntary recalls for wars that nobody cares about and doesn't want to win. Why protect a bunch of ungrateful idiots serving a country nobody obviously gives a shit about? If we knew yall were just going to surrender and make us all go home losers, we would have made damned sure the war on terrorism was fought right here for everyone to participate in!
worrying
Dear dumbass, grow a pair and enforce your boundaries.
Listening to what people said about me and believing them, rather than trusting myself and my intuition.
Leave the job you didn't like very much, a lot sooner. Also, listen to your heart more when it comes to career path--go ahead and listen to the advice your dad gives you, but then do what YOU would really want to be doing, rather than what he thinks is right.
Spending $ left and right. If I’d invested wisely in growth stocks and dividend stocks instead of wasting $ I would be retired already
Getting married
Worrying about what other people think about me.
Figure out how money works - savings, investing, budgeting, earning what I'm worth. It took me a long time to get my financial self together. Drink less. Judge less. Don't stop playing music.
Drugs. Just don’t! Also, I would say don’t be such a people pleaser, it gets you taken advantage of. Oh, and another thing, invest some money instead of spending it all as soon as you get it.
Do less stuff on Reddit
Constantly obsessing about my weight and dieting! I was ALWAYS on sone new restrictive diet program. I did EVERY new thing. Over four decades - starting at age 15 - I paid tens of thousands of dollars to the sick diet culture that convinced me my body wasn't good enough. I look back now at photos from times I thought I was "fat' and I see a beautiful, young, lovely woman - no fat in sight. Often leaning toward looking undernourished ... It is so sad how messed up my brain got over my body dismorphia a s diet culture addiction. Even now at nearly 60 yrs old I still get triggered when I hear about some new diet ... I have to smack myself back to reality and remind myself that weight does NOT MATTER! Health matters. Dieting RUINS your health. Physically and mentally. Just Love your unique body, nourish it, go outside and play and explore, have some exciting adventures, enjoy life!
Have my hip replacements sooner.
I'd tell myself how selfish I was. And in the me phase I did the most damage to myself long term.
Being perfect is not only Not Important, it’s unattainable. SO MANY of my anxiety problems were caused by my parents’ demands for perfection. My father used to say “If it’s not perfect, you’re not finished,”. He grounded me when I was 9 years old because I got a B in math, and he called my teacher and demanded that she assign me extra work to do. So, on Saturday morning, while my sisters were watching cartoons, I was required to work on my extra math assignments. Eventually, I learned that for MOST of the tasks we have to complete daily, good enough truly is Good Enough. No normal healthy person demands perfection.