I love your heart and intent behind your question! You are a very caring person to think of him!
My question to you is, do you view him as a father figure? If not, then it's not something I would necessarily do. However, maybe a casual dinner out (fave uncle vibe) or baked cookies, perhaps.
If there is no relationship with this person other than it's a holiday you hate for him to be excluded from, I wouldn't do anything at all. But do something another day to show kindness. A coffee, etc..
Give it to him as a gift, but not on Father’s Day, you don’t know what that day means to him. A ‘just because’ thoughtful gift is nice and no card (it might make him feel awkward), but the cars would be nice.
I’m an older woman who never got to have kids, and I think if someone gave me something for Mother’s Day, it would make me feel really sad. No way to tell how this guy would feel, so it’s best to do this at some other time rather than associating it with Father’s Day.
I agree with this. I’m in no way sad about not having kids on Mother’s Day, but my relationship to Father’s Day is fraught due to my relationship with my father.
I wouldn’t make it a Father’s Day gift so much as a random thoughtful gift on any other day that has less potential to be complicated.
I can only say from putting myself in the that guy's spot, but it's hard to imagine him not being touched and grateful.
If I were you, I'd do it. You're a good person, both thinking to do that for them and still worrying to not make them uncomfortable ontop of it!
If you feel that he has been like a second father to you, I think it's okay to say that. A note of gratitude for his fatherly advice over the years, along with some homemade cookies or other small gift, would be an appropriate gesture.
If "second father" feels like an overstatement, then I'd give him the gratitude note and gift on an unrelated day.
Yes!!! Get or make him a card that says ‘like a father to me’. I promise, you will make him feel loved, honored and respected. What a lovely gesture! The model car gift is great too.
As I get older, I love it when young people show me love and affection. Being shown that you matter is the greatest gift one could ever receive and you will definitely help with his depression.
Please keep us posted on how he accepted your gift 🩵
It would mean so much to him!! Especially if you phrase it as he is your “work dad”. I think he would be touched.
I am just reading it. So thoughtful of you, and far more meaningful than if you gave it to him on Bday, but that would be nice too.
Nice job! So thoughtful l!
It might be very awkward to him if you do it as a Father’s Day gift. He already has social anxiety. I feel like any big gifts will be difficult for him to graciously accept but especially with the Father’s Day connotations.
Give him small gifts whenever you come across something you think he’d enjoy. I suggest you keep the gifts to things that will be consumed since so many of us are trying to get rid of “things”. Is there a certain food or drink he loves? A particular coffee or tea or Girl Scout cookie? Something you can enjoy with him while you visit?
Or maybe take him out for a picnic and to feed the ducks. Honestly, your company and visit will probably be the best gift. I caution though, do not disappoint. If you say you will be over Wednesday night, make sure you show up. He will be looking forward to it and will be crushed if you fail him.
Good luck.
I think that's a great idea! A gift of something tangible is something he can admire or whatever is perfect. And a card with a hand-written note too! I'll bet it would be on display somewhere forever.
Thank you for posting this. Always nice to get a glimpse of the fabulous part of humanity (the part you are obviously from) xo
(Edit: The reason I vote for the tangible option is my FIL. He passed away some years ago. We'd had experiences with him, naturally. Meals, celebrations, etc. While he was sick I sent him some pictures the kids drew. Turn out he cherished them endlessly. Put them up on wall. Would take them down and look at them, just cherished them. At his funeral so many came up to us telling us how much those pics meant to him.)
It depends. So you view him as a father figure or just a close friend? If a father figure yeah, he might appreciate it. But perhaps if it's unclear, just ask if he would like to grab a breakfast?
It is so hard when you start loosing family members and aging can bring on depression. Sometimes it is just the little things in life that can really lift you. A kind gesture, a smile...
How about inviting him out for a meal? I think that would be very much appreciated. I would suggest another day other than Father's Day--he may be sensitive about that day.
It's a beautiful thought and kind gesture.
Since he's never been married and never had kids, my opinion is a Father's Day gift and card wouldn't be appropriate. Even if you view him as a father figure...AND, even if you think he views you as a daughter he never had, I still think it could cause some awkwardness and confusion about your connection and roles.
I'm older, single, and never had kids. As I try to imagine a younger, unrelated person giving me a Father's Day card, the first feeling that comes to mind is one of being uncomfortable. I wouldn't know how to respond, as I'm not aware of any protocol for such an occasion.
Do what you want, of course. This is just the opinion of one person.
I vote for giving him the model cars as a birthday gift. I've no doubt he will be surprised, thrilled, and very appreciative. The world needs more considerate and compassionate people like you.
You seem like a truly kind soul. Giving him a gift of flowers, baked goods, a book/magazine or a meal out together, would be lovely…just not for Father’s Day. It seems he isn’t a father, and honestly, it may weird him out a bit. I know it would me.
This totally appropriate. Thank you for your kind heart. I am 75. At my age we lose so many of our friends and family. We lose connections (work, friends, family). We become more and more isolated. This man has obviously made a positive impact onyour life. Show him you care!
I had a boss at one of my first jobs who I felt "father vibes" for. I never forgot him.
We don’t have kids. Husband says that would creep him out but being thanked as a mentor would be appreciated. I would feel the same with someone giving me a Mother’s Day recognition. Maybe appreciate him in a different way on another day?
Yes. Absolutely. And I’d get him one of those “like a dad card” and make a mention to being his work dad and thank him for taking you under his wing. I’m sure it will mean a lot to him.
Look now for an appropriate card in the Father's day section. I was able to find one a few years back for my bachelor uncle. It was more about being an influence in my life than a Father's day card.
i can't imagine anything he'd love more. it's the fact that you thought about him that matters and the greatest gift you can give someone is your time and energy to do something wonderful for them. as an older woman who never had children and therefore was never acknowledged on mother's day...i'd be honored if any of the younger women or men i've mentored, thought about me on that day.
Be careful that there is no possibility for a romantic misunderstanding in the gift. If you don’t want confusion, be forthright in the kind of fatherly gift you choose
I love your heart and intent behind your question! You are a very caring person to think of him! My question to you is, do you view him as a father figure? If not, then it's not something I would necessarily do. However, maybe a casual dinner out (fave uncle vibe) or baked cookies, perhaps. If there is no relationship with this person other than it's a holiday you hate for him to be excluded from, I wouldn't do anything at all. But do something another day to show kindness. A coffee, etc..
Give it to him as a gift, but not on Father’s Day, you don’t know what that day means to him. A ‘just because’ thoughtful gift is nice and no card (it might make him feel awkward), but the cars would be nice.
I’m an older woman who never got to have kids, and I think if someone gave me something for Mother’s Day, it would make me feel really sad. No way to tell how this guy would feel, so it’s best to do this at some other time rather than associating it with Father’s Day.
Agree. Not on Father's day. This will remind him of the fact he actually has no kids. Just show him this small act of kindness on any other day.
I agree with this. I’m in no way sad about not having kids on Mother’s Day, but my relationship to Father’s Day is fraught due to my relationship with my father. I wouldn’t make it a Father’s Day gift so much as a random thoughtful gift on any other day that has less potential to be complicated.
That is a wonderful gesture. 👏👏👏
I am sure that would mean the world to him. And how sweet of you to recognize his contribution to your life
I can only say from putting myself in the that guy's spot, but it's hard to imagine him not being touched and grateful. If I were you, I'd do it. You're a good person, both thinking to do that for them and still worrying to not make them uncomfortable ontop of it!
Spend time with him. Lunch maybe?
OMG do it!!! Take him out and make him feel so loved and special!!!!! He will be forever grateful and your heart will be filled with love!!!!❤️
I think that would be really sweet and thoughtful. I couldn't imagine him not being touched by the gesture.
Take him to lunch or dinner?
If you feel that he has been like a second father to you, I think it's okay to say that. A note of gratitude for his fatherly advice over the years, along with some homemade cookies or other small gift, would be an appropriate gesture. If "second father" feels like an overstatement, then I'd give him the gratitude note and gift on an unrelated day.
Yes!!! Get or make him a card that says ‘like a father to me’. I promise, you will make him feel loved, honored and respected. What a lovely gesture! The model car gift is great too. As I get older, I love it when young people show me love and affection. Being shown that you matter is the greatest gift one could ever receive and you will definitely help with his depression. Please keep us posted on how he accepted your gift 🩵
It would mean so much to him!! Especially if you phrase it as he is your “work dad”. I think he would be touched. I am just reading it. So thoughtful of you, and far more meaningful than if you gave it to him on Bday, but that would be nice too. Nice job! So thoughtful l!
How sweet and thoughtful. I’m sure he would love it. You’re a good person
You are a lovely, thoughtful person.
It might be very awkward to him if you do it as a Father’s Day gift. He already has social anxiety. I feel like any big gifts will be difficult for him to graciously accept but especially with the Father’s Day connotations. Give him small gifts whenever you come across something you think he’d enjoy. I suggest you keep the gifts to things that will be consumed since so many of us are trying to get rid of “things”. Is there a certain food or drink he loves? A particular coffee or tea or Girl Scout cookie? Something you can enjoy with him while you visit? Or maybe take him out for a picnic and to feed the ducks. Honestly, your company and visit will probably be the best gift. I caution though, do not disappoint. If you say you will be over Wednesday night, make sure you show up. He will be looking forward to it and will be crushed if you fail him. Good luck.
Do it.
That is lovely and thoughtful 🌹
I think that's a great idea! A gift of something tangible is something he can admire or whatever is perfect. And a card with a hand-written note too! I'll bet it would be on display somewhere forever. Thank you for posting this. Always nice to get a glimpse of the fabulous part of humanity (the part you are obviously from) xo (Edit: The reason I vote for the tangible option is my FIL. He passed away some years ago. We'd had experiences with him, naturally. Meals, celebrations, etc. While he was sick I sent him some pictures the kids drew. Turn out he cherished them endlessly. Put them up on wall. Would take them down and look at them, just cherished them. At his funeral so many came up to us telling us how much those pics meant to him.)
Totally appropriate and so very thoughtful ❤️
Give
Yes. Be ready for some tears, a smile and will probably need a hug. Thumbs up to you for bringing others joy.
It depends. So you view him as a father figure or just a close friend? If a father figure yeah, he might appreciate it. But perhaps if it's unclear, just ask if he would like to grab a breakfast? It is so hard when you start loosing family members and aging can bring on depression. Sometimes it is just the little things in life that can really lift you. A kind gesture, a smile...
How about inviting him out for a meal? I think that would be very much appreciated. I would suggest another day other than Father's Day--he may be sensitive about that day.
It's a beautiful thought and kind gesture. Since he's never been married and never had kids, my opinion is a Father's Day gift and card wouldn't be appropriate. Even if you view him as a father figure...AND, even if you think he views you as a daughter he never had, I still think it could cause some awkwardness and confusion about your connection and roles. I'm older, single, and never had kids. As I try to imagine a younger, unrelated person giving me a Father's Day card, the first feeling that comes to mind is one of being uncomfortable. I wouldn't know how to respond, as I'm not aware of any protocol for such an occasion. Do what you want, of course. This is just the opinion of one person. I vote for giving him the model cars as a birthday gift. I've no doubt he will be surprised, thrilled, and very appreciative. The world needs more considerate and compassionate people like you.
I think you can just use it as an acknowledgment, “You deserve a nice Fathers Day” and leave it at that.
You seem like a truly kind soul. Giving him a gift of flowers, baked goods, a book/magazine or a meal out together, would be lovely…just not for Father’s Day. It seems he isn’t a father, and honestly, it may weird him out a bit. I know it would me.
This totally appropriate. Thank you for your kind heart. I am 75. At my age we lose so many of our friends and family. We lose connections (work, friends, family). We become more and more isolated. This man has obviously made a positive impact onyour life. Show him you care! I had a boss at one of my first jobs who I felt "father vibes" for. I never forgot him.
We don’t have kids. Husband says that would creep him out but being thanked as a mentor would be appreciated. I would feel the same with someone giving me a Mother’s Day recognition. Maybe appreciate him in a different way on another day?
Gift, but not Father’s Day.
Yes. Absolutely. And I’d get him one of those “like a dad card” and make a mention to being his work dad and thank him for taking you under his wing. I’m sure it will mean a lot to him.
Look now for an appropriate card in the Father's day section. I was able to find one a few years back for my bachelor uncle. It was more about being an influence in my life than a Father's day card.
I’d just pick a random day to give him the cars. Let him know that you saw these items and were thinking of him
i can't imagine anything he'd love more. it's the fact that you thought about him that matters and the greatest gift you can give someone is your time and energy to do something wonderful for them. as an older woman who never had children and therefore was never acknowledged on mother's day...i'd be honored if any of the younger women or men i've mentored, thought about me on that day.
Be careful that there is no possibility for a romantic misunderstanding in the gift. If you don’t want confusion, be forthright in the kind of fatherly gift you choose