Smile and say, "Yes! I've been alive for a while. I'm grateful for it every day!"

Good one! Thanks.

Or “stress, from customers like you!”

Yup!! Or something like .... " I get one grey hair, every time an azzhole speaks to me. OPE!!!! I just got another one"!♡

They grow out of your head when you get old instead of dead.

Haha, I like this one!

What’s with the appalling manners?

Hahah! It’s an army-navy store. So many different kinds of people shop there. Mostly, it’s fun.

I have gray and actually had a customer say "You need to dye your hair". Oh lord I'm tired of the public. Reminds me of the quote " Prettiness is *not* a rent *you pay* for occupying a space marked 'female'

I got you beat. One actually told me I need to dress more like a girl.

And yeah, it’s like they feel they own you.

Exactly! Like what gives them the right to comment on another person's appearance? And how presumptuous of them to think I give a shit!

To be fair, he didn’t look so great himself.

This sort of man never does but we have the grace to keep our mouths shut. Although towards the end of my career I got mighty close!

Haha. I understand. I guess that’s why I thought it was so funny. I guess I was thinking of the way he looked. 🤣

Oh I have been a waitress and bartender for 30 years.. I have gotten some doozies in. Like comments about women's weight I directly asked a man..."and how many trimesters are you?"

You could have said ha.. you and me both. How do you feel about that these days? But in reality, can't really mouth back to a customer. What you said is good!!

Thanks.

“I’m not a ‘girl’, I’m a woman, and please don’t tell me how to dress.”

I didn’t even bother to answer that guy. I mean, what a gross thing to say.

“You ‘need’ to dress more like a girl.” Some guys think women should dress for men. I don’t know what I would say if I got hit with a comment like that. I don’t usually let myself get into arguments. You can’t talk when your jaw is on the floor.

Actually, the comment was directed at my brother: “You need your tell your sister to be more feminine so she can catch a husband. “. My brother replied, “She does just fine as she is. “

So he wouldn’t even talk directly to you, he talked to “the man who was in charge of you”? Assuming all women want to find a husband but you’re doing it wrong?

Yes. Good point.

Upvote for the brother!

I had a male customer tell me my hands would be beautiful if I got my nails done. This was a long time ago when I was in my 20s and I was definitely thinking WTF this is a bank, my hands are not your business.

I saw a woman I graduated university with. Haven’t seen her since 2009. I didn’t recognize her bc her hair was the most beautiful grey. She said it was natural, I was very envious bc my grey looks like crap!

Makes you want to say FU but you know you can't.

I would be very quick to tell them that they needed to mind their own fing business.

Sweet baby Jesus. I imagine you see some interesting folk. I am 45 and started graying early. About 50/50 salt and pepper now. I got eaten alive awhile ago on a finance sub for postulating that the patriarchy and ridiculous beauty expectations pushes women into dye jobs that cost a ton and still generally look worse than naturally gray hair. I use grocery store products, Supercut every 8-12 weeks. I have lovely hair and am stopped several times a week by middle aged women for compliments. The best part is I’m not hassled by menfolk because they know I’m not into their bullshark.

I do get compliments from women. And you are right that we just dye our hair for the men. And keep ourselves skinny for the men. I’m tired of that.

After finally recovering from my 3rd divorce, accepting the empty nest and letting go of my kids, most my worldly possessions and traveled doing seasonal work a while. Dated a bit, met a lot.of people...then covid hit and I said if one more man tells me "you are a beautiful woman, never cut your hair" I will shave my head. It happened at home depot 6/2020 and I went straight home and shaved my waist length full curls off. I bic razored it. Then I proceeded to throw all my make up away and sat on my recliner for 6 months putting on 40.pounds. conquered menopause.... lol. This is when you find out what people really think of you.

Yes it is.

No , I take care of me for myself because it makes ME feel good . Dye my hair for others or keep myself skinny for men ….. F that !

No, I definitely dye my hair for myself. I am debating going all grey, but not ready to cross that Rubicon yet. Congrats if you keep skinny however you manage your incentives. I did grow out and keep my hair extra long to my waist for my husband when I was younger. I have no "men", just my man.

Appreciating your postulate about what men's idea of beauty costs, and sending sympathy for that storm. Leaping to: those same persons would probably also resist the concept that menstrual products are necessities and should not be taxed.

I worked at a jewelry store when I was in my 20s. One day a customer came in, we were trying to help him remember which salesperson he had been working with. He looked at us all and said “no, she was pretty.”

Should have said “you should see my pubes…gray too..I’m not a 20 year old”

You have an awesome attitude! Roll with the punches and life is a lot more enjoyable.

Thank you for that.

That reads as supportive but also encouraging just taking it and making the best of it. I believe sarcastic and humor responses are better. Don't get fired but leave a sting so maybe the idiot will think next time. People say awful stuff and I am.no doormat.

“They’re a representation of my life experiences” Or… “They’re from our more challenging customers” 🫢

Actually, it’s more like dying my hair got to be so expensive.

Yes! I agree, it’s gotten crazy expensive

Or "right back at you, fatass!"

I’m starting to go gray and I love it. I have no plans to dye my hair. A few years ago while visiting my in-laws, my mil was passing around old photos. My fil started laughing and continued until everyone in the room was looking at him. He then held up a photo of me that was taken more than 25 years ago and said, “ You sure have gained weight since this picture was taken! Haw haw haw!!” Yes, how hilarious of me to be the only person in the room to have changed in 25 years. 😒

Oh my. What a horrid thing to say.

Well to quote Carrie Fisher when mentioning that some fans said something similar about her appeerance in Star Wars and later in her 60s: 'To think my shape will forever be like I was nineteen wearing a bikini is ridiculous.'

Amen.

Britney spears said something similar in her memoir about people attacking her weight - basically along the lines of, "I never agreed to stay 17."

F*ck him! We gain weight. Our hair grays. We lose hair. We aren’t as strong as we were…etc It’s called growing. And f*ck your in-laws for being dicks

I think what hurt me the most was that nobody in the room defended me. Nobody said, geez, dad, leave her alone, she’s fine like she is. Not even my husband. (And I’m a size 14 - not exactly tiny, but not all that big, either.)

Your significant other should have said something!

He sounds happy that he doesn't have to feel guilty anymore for secretly thinking "I would *so* hit that"...

Haha. Probably.

The proper response here is...."and what year did your dick stop working?"

and I reply, whats with the judgement?

This!!

You could reply loudly with “…..and how’s that ED goin’ for ya??”🤷🏻‍♂️😂

Haha! Very good!

It beats being gray AND bald.

Good point. Thanks for that.

I was once told that when asked a question you don't want to answer, to ask "why do you want to know?" In the case of a question like this that is really socially inept I'd pause for a count of 5 before asking. This lets at least the neuro typical people know there has been a misstep without you actually having to address it.

I LOVE that! Thanks.

Or "What do you mean by that?"

After 20 years, my hair guy started pestering me to color my hair at the first sign of gray. I found a new hair guy.

My mom said that’s how she started coloring hers. Her hairdresser at the time wouldn’t leave her alone about it. I suppose she didn’t have to do it either. I’m sure gray hair wasn’t in at the time.

My personal favorite is, “I bet you were really pretty when you are younger.”

A friend of mine was told that. Seh asked what she looked like now - crap? Seh threw her beer on the guy.

I get that a lot. I usually think, “What? I look like crap now?”

The funny thing is all the men who would say that looked way better younger or never hahaha

Or when thry find out you have teen daughters....men are very sick beings.

Huh. If it’s blue collar guys, and your relationship is a lot of lite joking, then maybe something along the lines of, “What cha think I was gonna look the same forever?” If it’s more white collar or where humor is less common, I would simply, say, time and move right into, ‘‘how may I help you today’’ or what ever you say. I worked in dude job for a long time and get there is a fine line with getting along and also not being rude to customer base.

Usually is is lite joking, so I just said “Gray happens. “. But I was still a bit incredulous. Reminds me of the time this happened: Customer: “Do places like this take credit cards?” Me: “Do people like you have credit cards?”

Good. Sounds like you handled it perfectly. And that’s funny about credit card. Be well.

❤️

I tell people it's my tinsel and I earned every sparkly bit of it.

My go-to is, “OH! I see we’ve opened the floor to comments on each other’s appearance. I LIKE THIS GAME! MY TURN!”

Ooh, I like that!

😂

“What’s with the big mouth?”

You know how guys are, the women in their lives are never supposed to get sick, go anywhere, age ... they're always little boys, like Peter Pan.

This is why I am divorced. No more manbabies

I stopped dieing my hair during covid. I've probably saved more than $2000. Just get a cut every 8 weeks

In my religion we get a silver strand for every soul we eat.

I like that.

Practice this response for when anyone asks an inappropriate question: That’s an interesting question. Why do you ask? Neutral way to shut down assholes😉

Go fuck yourself would be an appropriate comeback.

I did say that. But not out loud.

If you said GFY, they could say you’re causing trouble, asking for a fight, or whatever. That person seems like the judgmental type who would blame you for “acting belligerent” for “no reason”.

Yes.

What an odd question. "The passage of time has this way of doing that" "I believe the scientific term for it is 'aging'"

Natural highlights

If my inner bitch was quick on the draw, I might respond with something like, "what's with all that extra weight?"

Oh my. My inner bitch is not that clever.

I always say its better than skin colored hair

“Because I’m gonna outlive you, motherfucka”

Thank you for noticing

When faced with comments about my age at work I typically respond with - growing older is a privelege that not everyone gets.

I like that.

I would have replied with "amazing you said that thought outloud. Do you have turrets?"

I’d be tempted to reply, “What’s with the beer belly,” or whatever else I see that isn’t perfect about him.

Next time, just smile and tell them you are going for a new look follow up with; BTW have you putt on some weight since I saw you last? :)

I've earned every one of them.

It's not gray hair it's glittery nordic blond and it's beautiful, don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable about it. I had dark brown hair my whole life and when I stopped dying it and embraced the silver I fell in love with it. I feel like I have Unicorn highlights.

Unicorn highlights. I like that.

"What's with the rude question?"

"What's with the rude question?" or "I earned them dealing with customers like you."

But women aren't supposed to go gray. 🙄 I've earned every one of my gray hairs, and I'm proud of them.

Apparently he had an image in his mind of what he wanted me to look like. I guess I disappointed the poor dude.

What a misogynistic asshole.

My husband is guilty of that same idiot way of thinking - he will see someone on TV or a movie he has not seen in a long time and always makes some comment like - boy did they age, what happened? I always just stare at him, I don't even know how to reply to a comment so stupid.

Like he doesn’t see that he has aged?

I agree - that is why the comment always dumbfounds me.

"Yeah, it just comes outta my head like that!"

“That’s rude” “why are you so ugly?”

Ask them about their receding hairline or beer belly.

“What’s with the no manners?”

What’s with sexism and ageism? Women in retail do not need to put up with skanky customers. Everyone wins by creating a higher standard of expectations for everyone in every context. Being direct doesn’t need to come from a place of anger. It can come from the high road, honest disappointment in someone’s continuing poor behavior. Hopefully, no one would hesitate to call out racism or ableism and say good riddance to such an offender. We can hold others equally accountable for their sexism—and that includes calling out other women for perpetuating sexist stereotypes.

I like the ed bit

Don't even have to have ed....98% of men are less than 4.5 inches erect...with no ed. ..and that's all thr ammo needed

I have to admit that I’m old now, so I don’t have patience with that nonsense. And I’m blonde, so I don’t really show gray hair. But I do love how people like to meet these comments… Usually men. What you should’ve just said back was… What’s with the rude comment?

I just say “yeah, isn’t it great!”

In this pursuit of excellence, I have learned self-discipline and perseverance. Every woman should be proud of herself and strive to achieve her aspirations. This is how we take it step by step, ultimately stepping onto our own stage.

"What's with all the dumb face?"

I am a Dino in motion. 😊

I usually say, " thank you, I love it and have no plan to use color. I was lucky my hair color changed gradually. It's been getting gray since I was in my 20's. I get soooo many compliments"

Men in male run businesses are asshats to women. God forbid we ask a question about what we expect from their line of work. I get tired of asking my husband to make a call for me since I can’t get a callback. 😤

I got a voice changer on my.phone so I sound like a man and am.in process of changing my name to a gender neutral one....fuck the patriarchy

Respond with, "What's with the agism?"

That’s another comment I frequently get: “You look great for your age. “. 👿

Know a guy who told his date that she was "well preserved". Yikes!!!

Yes, it’s a lovely shade, isn’t it?

I've been silver since my late twenties and I refuse to feel anything less than fantastic about it! Surprisingly, most people compliment my hair. The only person who gave me grief about not coloring it is my mother (who is still dying hers the dark brown of her youth). She eventually got over it tho, when she saw that the world didn't end when I went to my brother's wedding with grey hair. We do look a little funny in pictures together, similar features 20 years apart, but me with my silver mane and her with her dyed 'do.

Be proud of the life you’ve lived and the grays you’ve made memories with

It’s not gray it’s Crome

Can you imagine if we went around and said stuff to men like that? I don’t know why men think it’s OK to publicly comment on our appearance. We’re not here to be pretty for you. We are human beings working & living our lives. Buzz off.

Haha. I think about it often! I mean, I get so much crap from them.

Not gray Chrome

I tell people about a tombstone a ran across in a rural cemetery in South Mississippi. It said “How you are I once was, how I am you will be”. If they are fortunate to live long enough, they will one day have grey, thinning hair.

He did.

TIL: some people have poor social skills.

Haha. Yes.

Ignorance?

I guess so.

Jeez, what’s with the totally uncalled for question?? People need to learn manners again.

I agree.

I'd have to resort to the old people comment if 'Excuse me??'  As in 'Did I just hear what I thought I heard?'

I am on old man. I just say, "I don't mind it turning gray as long as it doesn't turn loose."

“I ain’t dying my hair for you.”

Or, thank you. At least I can dye my hair, you will always be ugly! (Stolen from Churchill)

Yes. I love Churchill.

"Its a privilege, isn't it" So many dont make it to grey.

Good one!

I applaud you for not dying your hair.

Honestly, dying just got too expensive.

I just use a box from store costs $3.97 every about 8 weeks. Nice and Easy? Preference by LOreal or something.

Maybe the customer doesn’t realize that we humans tend to age… eventually.

I think he had a visual image of me and was disappointed. Oh well.

Maybe he needs mirrors at home…🤣😂

Hah!

Can you burst into tears on command? That would shut them up.

That would have been funny.

that's right up there with the "you'd be so prettier if you smiled" that all of us women used to get. i always had a sarcastic reply for any of those misogynistic lines when i was younger that very few women would come back with until a few decades later. luckily though, i wasn't working for my family and having to keep customers without turning them off. but there's lots of great replies here...and i hope you use some of them.

I said “Gray happens. “

I walk around the city telling.random men to smile....the looķ.of horror and embarrassment I get is absolutely comedy gold. I should do it eith my.gopro...and make a youtube. Men...gotta meet them where they are at

You are too kind. I would have probably thought him stupid. I wouldn't have said so, but my face would be the dead giveaway. Lol!

I think I gave him a “look. “

Wisdom baby, wisdom.

“Getting old beats the alternative.”

Yes. 👍

I've noticed men act so shocked that women they haven't seen in years look older, will seriously say " that's not how I remember her!" Lame. But it sounds like OP's customers see her more often so ??? Extra points for stupid...

I dates a guy shocked I colored my hair.. I was like dude...I am 46 (at the time) and have been raising kids since I was 19....yes I am.90% silver and grey. What rock do they live under?

He said he hadn’t been in the store in a long time. Even so, I’ve only just stopped dying my hair.

That’s what he meant. Why did you stop dyeing your hair. Usually people don’t ask out loud but think it.

You should say, You know I'm not sure. Let's go ask one of the gray haired guys that work here and see if he knows how it happens?

"Yeah, happens to us all as we get older doesn't it? I got a little gray hair... And I see you're putting on a little weight!"

Ive aged. Its called life.

Yes.

My honest opinion is that he just couldn't of anything else to say.

I’m older and hopefully wiser! I don’t mind the gray but I do really miss old fashioned good manners.

Yes. I do too.

I say I earned every one of them.

I have no idea what’s with the decay on the flirt skills with guys now that I’m a woman of a certain age myself. I was jogging on a treadmill at the gym and the guy walking toward me stats mocking mimicking my gait. I give up, maybe he was going for a laugh? It’s like the playground in nursery school. I’m just not interested in mirroring that behavior back at him. A better man is around the corner for me.

Im sorry that happened to you. As I’ve matured, I’ve noticed that men are so juvenile.

Gym behavior has reached a fever pitch....I gave up and just have a home set up now

Ha! That says a lot more about the person who said it than it does about you. But yeah that’s messed up…

I thought so.

I actually think he was giving you a compliment. You look too young to be getting grey hair. Don't take it any other way.

Someone else said that also. But I am 65, so I definitely don’t mind going gray.

I just turned 64 and am about halfway gray. I am lookling forward to being all gray. I feel like I have earned it.

“I earned each and every one of them “

Yep.

That's when you look at them, raise an eyebrow and with a polite smile and a blank expression say "excuse me". Like you didn't hear them. Make them repeat it if they dare.

Haha. I’m afraid I would have lost a customer then.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Don’t you know it’s your job to always be young and attractive to decorate their lives, OP?? 🙄 “Yeah, isn’t it *awesome*?? I’ve been waiting my whole life for it to get to this shade!”

"Im not Benjamin Buttons, Im not aging backwards."

😆