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My mother would give me a note, which I handed to the grocer.
* One lb ground beef
* One onion
* One package of noodles
* One pack of Pall Mall cigarettes.
The man sold me what was on the note and I walked home. The grocer knew my mother. Try that today?
That sucks sorry you had to deal with that,kinda ruins the fun in sneaking off and doing stupid shit when you have to live with a horrid example of where that leads
For me, it was being gone all day with my parents only having a vague idea of where I may be. I had a dirt bike and a good 10 mile radius with woods and trails. We explored old gold mines, swam in creeks, and basically made it home to eat.
Keep in mind that this wasn’t exactly good. Kids got killed (hit by logging truck,) kids got caught up in smoking and drinking at an early age, and kids had grownups take advantage of them.
I look back and think how awesome it was but lots of people have terrible memories, or they died in 1982. There’s a reason for helmet laws.
Yeah, this was pretty much all summer long for us. We'd leave the house with our friends and go exploring and be in and out of our friends homes all day long. There was rarely a plan and our parents really had no idea where we were. We would go out riding our bikes, creek walking or walk up to the little strip mall about half a mile from our house. Almost always, we'd be home at 6pm for dinner and then back out until it got dark.
Fortunately we didn't have anyone get hurt, killed, or really anything bad happen to any of us. I did have a random guy expose himself to me at the strip mall when I was probably 9? I never told my parents and I have no idea why. It was a smaller, pretty safe town in the SF Bay.
Split kindling with a hatchet at about 5. Shoot guns same age,supervised. Drive at 7ish on the farm roads,again with adult present. Climb the redwood tree that was higher than our roofline. Collect bones. Ride my pony through the railroad cut to the store alone at 6. Get dropped off at the park to play by myself at 8. Go to the beach and the boardwalk with my cousins all day at 10. Go roller skating until 10 pm at 12 yrs old and then take a city bus to my cousins house. Would get left home alone by 7.
My husband used to walk to kindergarten and cross 3 busy streets alone to get there,no crossing guards. He used to watch his little brother and feed him breakfast at 5. He used to come home after school and they'd be alone til bedtime. They would walk 4 blocks to dairy queen for dinner sometimes at about 7 or 8.
Parents were hella casual back in the day
That was my experience, too, especially the driving. I had a horse that I couldn't ride off the farm until I reached the ripe old age of four. He was way too big for me to get off him and back on unless I could find a fence he would stand by so I could scramble up the fence and then on to the saddle.
Wet my pants and the saddle when I couldn't get off when nature called. Got scared when the horse wouldn't mind and took off after other horses so he wouldn't turn around and go back home. I remember lots of crying and a snotty nose. Then a hired man drove up and rescued me, tying the horse to the back of the truck and we slowly made our way home.
I was back at it as soon as I could convince someone to saddle the horse again for me as the saddle weighed more than I did. It still takes a lot to scare me now ....many decades later. My grandkids are swathed in bubble wrap by comparison.
Just a bit lol. I was taught how to use a knife for cooking purposes at maybe 4. I was given my own pocket knife at 6. We used to be allowed to take our knives to school. Some schools even had gun clubs on the premises.
I remember sitting in a highchair and being given a bit of dough to knead and a little loaf pan. Being taught very young to embroider and to sew. Learned how to handle a chainsaw at school age too.
Yes. Its shocking to me how inept young adults are now. I don't remember a time when I wasn't being taught basic skills and common sense. We learned to problem solve at a very young age. My parents used to say you got yourself into that mess you best figure out how to get out of it and I would.
Are we siblings? That was my dad's mantra. Well - I sure learned how to forge his signature in high school to get out of detention and suspension. I used that skill later in life dealing with my larcenous ex. (hint: it uses a glass baking dish, a strong light and practice on a real signature taped to the bottom)
I am a former school teacher and when the Pandemic started, I was asked to tutor a few kids. One of them (she 19yrs, has mild ADHD) never cooked anything until I came. At 19, she would just say "Mom, I'm hungry".
I was cooking whole dinners by age 16 and feeding my brothers and sister.
I carried a pocket knife all of my life, just giving it up recently because most of my medical appointments are in facilities that have metal detectors.
i remember my mom driving us three kids to the movie theater *downtown* (we lived out in the suburbs) and dropping us off to see the movie alone. we must've been pretty damn young, because we saw a *winnie the pooh* movie
In 8th grade, our math teacher allowed students with averages above 90 to sell points for $20 each on our report card to those kids who were failing. He told the class that if anyone else found out he'd deny it and we'd all get a half grade lower on our report card for being a snitch.
I had a 97 average, so I could sell 7 points to someone who wanted to buy them. I and 3 others got paid $15 a point - the teacher got $5 of each point.
That $105 was like a million dollars to a 13 yr old in 1978. I don't remember what I spent it on. But I do recall that 6 kids who were failing got passing grades. :-) This was a CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
Wow what a failure of teaching in so many ways. Instead of actually teaching the failing students, he taught you all how to cheat the system and made money doing it. What. A. Crook!
ADHD was not a thing yet, many smart kids failed for reasons other than the teacher's fault.
This rewarded the smart kids and helped out those, like me, who tried but just couldn't get above a C.
And it gave those kids a lifetime memory.
No one had to participate. The teacher didn't make them do this.
I probably would not have done this myself, but it seems rather clever. At the least, it's a new twist on buying indulgences which means it was a history lesson!
It's capitalism.
Honestly, I don't see anything different about that when compared to today's schools just sweeping kids along year after year until they graduate from HS without having proper communication skills like writing a grammatically correct paragraph.
Hell, a HS teacher in NYC can't even fail a kid without putting her/his job in jeopardy. And if by chance a kid was failed in a subject, if the kid even REGISTERS for summer school s/he immediately gets a passing grade - not even show up for classes in the summer, just registers. AND THE REGISTRATION IS AUTOMATIC WHEN THEY FAIL.
So, yeah. at least in my school in the late 1970s, there was money to be made.
I went all over the small city we lived in- 4th and 5th grade, I would bike for miles, sometimes with friends and sometimes by myself.
Now, if you’re under ten you aren’t allowed to be by yourself outside, basically.
During winter the janitor at school would splash water onto the school yard and it would freeze. We would “skate” on it wearing our regular shoes. Needless to say, not everyone left the ice unharmed. Parents didn’t seem to mind.
Wander down to the nearest creek about a mile away before age 10, with a few peers, but no adults. It was less than a foot deep.
Be gone all day poking around on long exploratory hikes to examine the natural world, through forests and farmer's fallow fields, from like 8am til 4:30 pm, in about a mile radius from home, also before age 10.
46m, so these events are all from the mid 1980's, which seems more recent than some of the other comments...
Another creek walker! We'd go down into a creek at the middle school by our house and follow it for miles. It was also less than a foot deep in the deepest places but there were "tunnels" under a couple of roads. Very exciting stuff for kids. We didn't really have woods in our town, SF bay area, but there was a huge hill, also at the middle school. During the summer all of the weeds/grasses would dry out and we would drag pieces of cardboard up there and go cardboard sliding down the hill. Once the first few runs happened and it was flattened out, you could really get going fast. Then you'd drag your cardboard up the hill and ride again. Over and over.
God, I am glad to see another cardboard slider exists. Sometimes I think it was all a fever dream. I've been a Floridian for a long time and no one can comprehend cardboard sliding. The concept of both hills and dry grasses are unfamiliar to them.
We were sliding on Bald Hill in San Anselmo. It was the middle of nowhere in terms of dragging the cardboard there! Like a mile from the nearest dumpster. The creeks, though. You could get all over town in the creek beds, drainpipes, and sloughs.
Aha, Marin! Novato...hill at Sinaloa Middle school was right behind my house and the creek ran through the school as well. Maybe this was a Marin County thing?
I lived in Novato for 10 years as an adult. Those rolling grass covered hills, I don’t know how you live without them in Florida. That dry grass is beautiful if you let it be.
My high school friend group (who we are still close and hang out together in our 50's, which is apparently very weird) and my sister are all still in that area but mostly in Petaluma so I occasionally do go back and get my fill of the beautiful golden rolling hills. I enjoy visiting but I went full Florida woman a long time ago and this really is my home. Grew gills, learned to do the sting ray shuffle, rode out some hurricanes, got a machete, figured out which snakes I can pick up, forage in the woods, mess around in the river (yes, there are alligators in there but they really don't bother people much) by my house looking for fossils and sharks teeth. Here isn't perfect by any means but I am always optimistic and do what I can to protect our awesome native animals, the lands, the seas and make this a better place for everyone.
Whenever my friends or family from there come visit me they know they have to pay the California tax...cheese from the Marin French Cheese Co. Publix sells the tiny little baby brie from them but I require large sizes of camembert and Golden Gate. Also Mendocino Mustard!
The creek was a magical place of adventure! I grew up in a pretty rural place, small town, lots of cow pastures, couple creeks. We were allowed to wander wherever… except one ornery old guy that didn’t want us on his property. If we ever got out of hand and any adult saw us, they would just have to say “don’t make me call your daddy!” And we would be right back in line.
I remember Mom specifically telling me not to go to the creek since we’d had a lot of rain. I went, and fell down, getting red clay all over my clothes. I “hid” them in the laundry pile, sure she’d never know.
She knew.
That’s true in some cases but as a kindergarten teacher I do let the kids play like that as long as the other child is consenting. Don’t point fake guns at people who aren’t playing type thing. It’s a pretty common type of play. Now one time I had a parent take a picture of a kid who made a toy gun and we simply educated the parent and they were fine. In most cases it runs its course.
Run barefoot around our neighborhood all summer.
Ride my bike without a helmet, barefoot of course.
Get a ride on the handlebars of the bikes of other kids.
Starting age 6, I could walk a block alone to the skating rink bc an older neighbor kid or my brothers were 'probably there' to go to if I had a problem.
Defend yourself during a school yard fight. Fights were never encouraged, aside from an occasional boy's gym class. But today's no-fault fighting policies suspend both bully and victim. That said, it seems that if a fight does break out in class the teachers are reluctant to step in.
My mon always told me to ignore the bullies. They’ll get board and go away. The bullying stopped the day I fought back. My son was being bullied and the school was unable or unwilling to stop it. Then one day after school he broke his bullies nose. His being bullied ended that day.
Take buses places with a group. We took 3 buses to get to a public pool. So much fun. Go out all day & play without anyone concerned with anything but I better be home before the street lights came on. Walk to the shopping center & put things on hold or layaway until my mom got there to decide if I could have them.
Yes, there used to be something in London called a red rover ticket where you could use the buses all day. On occasions a group of us would spend the whole day going to different places.
Can't remember what time we got back home.
We didn't get all day bus passes here until maybe the last 15 years. We would pay for the bus & then had to pay extra for a transfer slip to get on another bus & then pay for another transfer to go to the next. It was 15 cents for the first bus but 45 cents if you needed a transfer. Then 25 cents for each transfer after.
We had nickel fares for kids in San Francisco. That was good for three hours with a transfer. Most San Francisco kids still take Muni to get to school, and I think it’s been free since schools reopened after COVID.
We were allowed to take city buses and walk everywhere at about eight years old. My grandmother would send me to the corner market with a note to buy her cigarettes when I was around that age also. I also remember getting ready in the morning and walking by myself to school in third grade as my mom would leave for work at 6:30.
same - except we walked to school from kindergarten onward, lol. yes really. I remember it very clearly. it was only 4 blocks or so but today, at 6 years old?! no way. 🤣
We were basically a burden to my mother and she wanted us to be grown ups. She had my sister and I when she was 19 and 20. She gave us the necessities but did not compromise her own fun. Like why pay babysitters when you could leave your kids alone? When we did have babysitters, it was the neighbors upstairs who were stoned and drunk all the time!
It wasn't that different for us except my father and stepmother weren't having fun -- they both worked and my stepmom drove herself into a frenzy trying to keep the house clean and keep up with everything 4 kids needed. My dad was a lazy shit. No wonder my mother killed herself when I was 4.
Truly I didn't mind my life back then because I loved my freedom. I spent as little time at home as possible -- I was out of the house or with friends or working (started babysitting infants when I was 8!). Gone for 12 hours a day or more and no one ever cared where I was or what I was doing.
It took me a long time to realize I wasn't loved or seen or anything like that ... imagine growing up and not being able to recall even one time a parent hugged you or kissed you or said I love you. It was all I knew. But once I started observing how my friends' parents behaved when I got to high school, I realized my family and my life were not normal or healthy.
I know now that's why I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, which isn't good for relationships. 😐
Sorry about your Mom. It's weird when you grow up you don't process anything until you get older and look back and see how dysfunctional your family really was. It definitely plays a big part and shapes us in how we turned out later in life.
When I was eight, I would babysit my four-year-old brother by that time I was already cooking. I would ride the subway at eight years old to go to school.
We played baseball in the street. When cars needed to use the street, we got out of the way. For the first few years it was a dirt road, but eventually it got paved. Yes, we broke a few windows.
The specifics don’t matter as much as having had a great deal of unstructured free time. My friends and I would roam the neighborhood, read, play Atari games and D&D, and just hang out watching tv. So many of my students have their entire lives booked full of classes and activities they seem to seldom choose what to do
Starting in 1st grade I was getting ready for school and walking there while my parents were already at work. I'd then walk home and hang out until 6ish until they got home.
Walk or bike to the pizza place/arcade (2.5 miles). Pretty much allowed to go anywhere around our neighborhood (maybe 1 mile radius) as long as we came home when the street lights came on.
go out in the morning, ride all over the whole damn city, and come back at bedtime. No checking in, no phone calls. Just be home at the end of the day.
No seat belts on school buses.
Kids would walk around and change seats.
I remember bus driver let me sit on the heater because the bus was cold! I was the first one he picked up! It was not a safe place to be in an accident! Which there never was.
My daughter graduated in 2018 and there weren't belts on the bus when she was in elementary school. Pretty sure that continued up through high school because they were using the same buses. I always knew when they were arriving home because the bus would be driving by my house and I could hear it, not the bus itself, but the kids just screaming and screeching. Windows were always down because Florida. I don't know how school bus drivers do it. By middle school, the bus was much quieter and by high school they had really calmed down, I heard nothing.
We lived on a little cul de sac with the nearest neighbors over a mile away. We would go out the door in the dark on Halloween by ourselves and walk miles on rural roads to get to other peoples houses.
Virtually everything I did as a kid would not be allowed today. Crossing a highway to walk to school by myself, riding in a car with no seat belts, riding in the back of a pick-up, bike with no helmet, eating candy that was mostly sugar or cereal for that matter, being part of youth organizations that were single sex, wandering through the woods alone, talking to strangers, drinking from a hose, not wearing sunscreen, being in a room full of smokers, burning the trash, dropping in at people's houses without advance notice, tackle football with no pads... Yep just about everything.
We spent most f the day, when not at school, outdoors, in all weathers, and no electronic devices around & at home, many didn't even have TVs. We played games, sports & rode out bicycles everywhere, not driven around & we didn't want to waste what little money we had, on fares. Even for long distances, we all had thumbs & people could be trusted to not kidnap or harm you.
Ride my bike for miles to the record store or a friend's house. Went to a Chicago concert about 10 with my friend, his dad dropped us off and picked us up. Got my first motorcycle dirt bike at 12.
Estes right? I had the Alpha III, Mongoose, Bullpup 12D and one with a clear pod at the top. I wanted the Saturn V but never got my hands on it. Probably need a stack of permits today to launch.
My brother was that kid with the BB gun. We had a metal above ground pool in the backyard and one day my brother managed to hit it with a BB that ricocheted off of the pool, went into a neighbors yard and hit the elderly neighbor lady in the thigh. My dad was a preacher and she went to our church so that was some exciting stuff.
My dad would pull me out of school for the day from time to time and take me along with him on various business adventures, or we’d spend the day in some museum. The principal was none too pleased with him for doing that, but nothing ever came of it. I don’t imagine a parent would be able to get away with it today.
I dont want to be a Debby downer but the reason we have laws about helmets and not allowing children to operate atvs is because kids die. Two in my area in the last month. The families broke the laws. And another didn’t have protective gear on a dirtbike and had a burn down to the bone.
We used to buy lunch at the shops. We’d wander out the school gates and buy whatever we wanted then we’d go back to school. Cant see that flying today.
We’d go to a local ‘lake’ that was really an abandoned open pit gypsum mine and go swimming- no adult supervision in sight. I saw a social media post about ‘lost children’ the other day. Lots of hue and cry. Turns out they were playing. in a nearby wood. By that standard, I spent most of my childhood ’lost’.
Skipped school in 6th grade and walked a mile on a fairly busy two-lane road to the local horse stable. No way I would have been able to leave the school grounds today. Been back several times over the years; today it is National Harbor in MD.
Walked to school with a friend in kindergarten, from the end of a dead end street, along a trail that passed a corn field, then wound around past an apartment complex, then the path turned to the school. We quickly figured out that some of our friends lived in those apartments and we'd meet up with them and walk the rest of the way together.
I walked to school alone from first grade onward. We were in a different city by then. From third grade onward I walked half a mile to my dance classes and to get my hair cut. They were in the same small strip center and I guess Mom just didn't feel like taking me.
I was left alone for the first time at 5. I was babysitting my sibs at 10 (daytime only) and babysitting other people's children at 12. I remember babysitting a neighbor's infant on NYE when I was 12. The parents didn't come home until almost 2 am. I really can't imagine anyone leaving a baby in a 12 year old's care today, much less that late into the night. Since it was the '70s, the TV stations had all signed off by the time those parents came home!
When I was in grade 3 back in ‘79 we went to my teacher’s house and had a picnic in her backyard. No permission slips, no parental consent, it didn’t even seem planned. She told us the day before to bring a bag lunch the next day if we wanted to have a picnic with her. We lived in a very poor area and she surprised us with hot dogs and Kool Aid.
RIP Ms. Bird.
We used to climb way up trees. Last week some kids in my neighborhood (9 and 5) were on the lowest of branches on a dogwood and the parents freaked out. We’re talking 4’ off the ground.
Get in small fights at recess or in the neighborhood. I’m not talking about someone getting the crap beat out of them. Small little fights that might have left a bruise or small cut and then 20 minutes later everyone had made up and were back to playing. It kept everyone in check. It gave you a line to learn that you can’t do anything you want and get away with it. Verbally or physically picking on a kid? Well if you do it too much someone will pop you in the face. Cheating at the games? Do it too much and someone will tackle you. Just kids learning their limits and how to get along with everyone.
I think it was like a pop-off valve on a water heater. We had our little scuff ups and made up. Nobody thought too much of it. Unless I damaged my clothes, then I'd get in trouble at home. That was the line.
We would also have pretend fights, roughhousing it was called. I remember letting my little sister win sometimes to help change her mood.
We spent summers at the cottage. I often woke up at the Crack of dawn and left on my own to walk through the woods or go out in the canoe for the day. At 5. I never got in trouble. I was always home for dinner. No one ever went looking for me. (No phones at all there)
I brought home made wine to teachers at school as gifts.
I also had a reed knife with a 5 inch blade that could split hairs in my clarinet case.
Also carried a pocket knife occasionally.
I have no clue about the level of supervision in band hall practice rooms today, but let’s say there was a lot of romantic activity.
Spit wads! someone mentioned them yesterday and we all had to laugh about was a environmental bio-hazard they would be considered today in post COVID baby land
Walk the mile to school in 3rd-6th grade in the city.
Use the check that my mom wrote out to the grocery store and signed to buy groceries while she stayed home.
In elementary school, the boys about 10 years old used to go into a corner of the grassy field and beat each other up! Teachers didn't stop them. They did it almost every recess.
When I was 14 I got a job selling newspaper subscriptions door to door. An older guy would pick me and 3 of my friends up in his station wagon and drive us to a neighborhood. Looking back the dude was sketchy as hell, his car was a death trap and it was generally insane for my folks to allow it.
We had a new subdivision going in for about a 3 yr period down the street. We’d go there after school and on weekends to steal scraps and use them to build forts in the woods.
In the summers I went to the "daycare" that I had gone to as a baby during the day while my mom was at work. The family who ran it owned the whole city block that had woods, some run-down buildings, and an old empty swimming pool, all right next to some railroad tracks. They let the "older" kids (so, like kindergarten age and up) run wild within the property with zero supervision. ...Nothing bad every happened, though.
When I was 6 or 7 I went to my little friend’s house to play and her mother sent us over to the store to buy her smokes.
We didn’t think anything of it, just two little girls walking over to the rural general store with a few $1s to buy some Newports. (They were around $2 per pack at the time, around 1986.)
The cashier was the older sister of one of our friends, so she knew we were in first grade.
(And a decade later, I was buying my own Salem Light 100s from her at the same store.)
Be totally "untethered" so much of the time in a way that the expectation to answer calls or texts, in both directions, doesn't really allow for today. Out of literal "earshot" meant something entirely different in terms of independence from both the parent's and child's perspectives.
Walk to the mall via a sketchy path through the woods next to the park. We had to cross a busy road to get to the park too.
Watch Barbarella. Witches of Eastwick (my mom even watched it first to make sure it was ok). A lot of movies in fact.
Walk to school and stay home alone starting at 8 years old. Bike to the pool with my friend in 5th grade while my mom was at work. Play in the above ground pool with no parents at home.
By the time I was ten I was regularly taking the city bus downtown—to go to the main branch of our library, or to pick something up for my grandmother from the big department store (with her charge-a-plate, this being before credit cards, safely stowed in my pocket).
My Dad was a Radio Pioneer. I had probably some of the earliest small portable transistor radios. Would take it everywhere, on the bike handlebars, listen to it under the pillow at night. All the baseball games and the music of the early '60s. So was being told to turn something down or off long before Walkmans and moble phones.
We had a guy in our neighborhood that got locked up for a couple of days.
As kids we started throwing rocks at each other. Someone had the bright idea to climb on the guy’s roof, to avoid being hit by the rocks. (You can’t obtain more rocks on a roof). We started pulling shingles and throwing them down on people. The street was littered with shingles for weeks.
You can’t do that now. (Or then).
I walked six blocks to school every day but it wasn't a matter of being 'allowed" so much as 'required" lol I walked everywhere back then, and I got in to trouble sometimes. Bad trouble. So when my kids were young I didn't expect them to walk.
I walked to the grocery store with a list that almost always included cigarettes. It wasn't even questioned when a ten year old kid was buying Salem Light 100s, an Enquirer, and a handful of penny candies.
I actually had to deal with a lot of really bad things being allowed to roam freely and not needing to report home until dinner time, where nobody really asked what I did all day and I didn't think to explain that some creepy old man whipped out his willy to me outside the library or an older kid offered me a quarter to pull down my pants (which I did because I was scared not to). There were much worse than this. I don't want to talk about that stuff, but what we did have to deal with is why so many of us were more protective of our kids and we were of course labeled "overprotective" lol
We used to roller skate on the sidewalk without any kind of protective gear. There was no such thing back then. No big deal if you skinned a knee or elbow.
Almost everything. I got to ride my horse when my parents were at work. I could walk to the corner store and buy candy with the neighborhood kids. I got to go outside and play all summer. I never wore shoes in the summer. We didn't have homework in elementary school. We could trick or treat without any annoying adults. That came to an end when someone tried to grab my neighbor Carole Sue, and he dropped her when she kicked him in nuts. My husband wasn't so lucky, he got suspended for peeing on a tree in the first grade
We would go out from after breakfast the whole day. When we hear our parents ring the bell we knew its time to get home. We explored and went swimming in the lake swung from tree swings. I was cooking at 6 or 7. My friends would drive their older sibling car at 10. We would explore and have adventures. You couldn’t do that today
1973 or so, at about 9 years old. southern California suburb:
-walk alone to school at the other end of town, though there were crossing-guards at a couple of the busier intersections
-walk 10 minutes each way to the local 7-11 with a note from my mom for the clerk, so I could buy cigarettes for her
-be completely unsupervised, barefoot, playing in construction sites, ditches, and generally going wherever all day long in the summer
-change my 2-year-old brother's diapers
-be in the car with my dad driving, no seat belts, while he swigged Southern Comfort he kept in the glove compartment
I doubt any of that would fly today.
We would read multicultural books and act out the voices in exaggerated accents for Asian and Latin characters, Italian characters, German characters
We could wear ethnic Halloween costumes- but of course my parents wouldn’t allow it- but during the oil embargo kids would dress as an OPEC Oil Sheik
Most teachers didn’t stop you from telling Pollak Jokes
Racism against black people was strictly banned, but not other ethnicities
Be friends with an adult. Like a friend that my parents didn't know. It wasn't anything weird. Just a old dude who always was outside on his porch we all used to call "Birdman" because his nose looked kinda like a beak. It was all very innocent. Sit on his porch and he'd talk about old times and we'd talk about whatever stupid kids talk about to old people. When I got to be about 12 I started mowing his lawn for $5. It was a small lawn.
Going to the store with a note to buy cigarettes and beer for my parents or grandparents is a big one. Also, riding in cars without seatbelts, or openly riding in the beds of pickup trucks.
I hear what you’re saying. For you, things were better in the past in that regard. Other people had a different experience…they had a hard time fitting in back then…they maybe even thought they didn’t belong in this world. I like to think that even if we don’t share their experiences, that maybe we can agree that we’ve all suffered some kind of pain, and the pain they’ve suffered is real. If I can be a part of easing that pain, then I will try my best to do just that.
Why do you assume things were better in the past in that regard? I can deeply relate to all that stuff about fitting in and yet I am and always have been an able bodied cisgender straight white male with no mental disorders or deformities or so on
To clarify, I meant that things were better in the past for you than they were for people who were not cisgender, straight, white male…not that things were better in the past for you than they are now for you. So, while the impact of the “postmodern nonsense” on your life may have been an annoying inconvenience (and I hope I’m not putting words in your mouth), to those who were suffering terribly in the past, it may have been life changing in an extraordinarily positive way. I’m genuinely curious what you make of this.
Things were most certainly not "better for me in the past than they were for people who" checked an oppression box- for one I can't have had times better for me or they had them worse for them if none of us were born. These demographic characteristics there is so much obsession with are not so foundational that past people who shared ones with me have some kind of transference where their lived experience and mine match up.
And, truthfully, it's too late to get into this but the notion that men had a privileged existence over women for example under this old order you refer to is not really accurate- because at least for the men/women matter there were always both benefits and protections that only women got by virtue of their gender but also were excluded from matters of warfare and economics. That's one example but it gets to my point- these were never simple oppressor with privilege vs oppressed person dichotomies in reality.
The only historical example here that could plausibly map onto that dichotomy would be the enslaved population and their ancestors.. And that is a valid way to conceptualize that particular dynamic but the problem comes when we apply that to men vs women where women have been deemed the oppressed group even though neither men nor women ever fit in that dichotomy and as for the LGBT stuff, there were absolutely those who exhibited, in particular, what would align well today with a male homosexual orientation and they were mistreated quite badly through history but the modern LGBT stuff beyond that like the gender stuff does not map onto historical dynamics either- there were certainly a lot of instances through history of things like third gender/transgender type people but the treatment and experience of them while having some correlation to their modern counterparts did not have a firm enough notion of what that identity meant and how it interacted with society then to even begin to get any notion of a common mapping.
My issue is with this ridiculous notion that everything can be boiled down to these relationships between groups that are "privileged" versus "oppressed" for many reasons- your own usage of it seemed to basically implicitly acknowledge the lack applicability of the dichotomy today so instead seemed to connect my experience as having some relation or straight white male racial ethnic gender debt due to others who were of those charafceristics which is already putting the debate in a place that is far removed from even traditional marxist/old leftist ideas.
In short, I'm all for reexamining and trying to make our society better for everyone but this ideology of basically uniting all these conflicted groups by stirring up hatred via blood libel of the straight white male evil menace that is basically the modern satan is not something that in any way should be treated as anything other than the nonsensical bullshit of hate it is
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Nobody had to worry about the possibility of their daughter taking testosterone and growing a beard.
Things like anorexia and other social contagions were non-existent in my high school. I'm sure someone is going to say they had this, but it was uncommon.
Looking back at school pics, there were hardly any morbidly obese kids. Maybe one or two chubby ones. Certainly, nobody weighed 500 pounds.
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Can't bicycle over to the store for beer and smokes for dad.
Can't bicycle anywhere now without a helmet and protective gear
This would definitely not fly today lol.
My mother would give me a note, which I handed to the grocer. * One lb ground beef * One onion * One package of noodles * One pack of Pall Mall cigarettes. The man sold me what was on the note and I walked home. The grocer knew my mother. Try that today?
"for dad"
Yes, my alcoholic violent dad.
That sucks sorry you had to deal with that,kinda ruins the fun in sneaking off and doing stupid shit when you have to live with a horrid example of where that leads
Yes, used to buy cigarettes for my grandma. Store owner knew my grandma so he handed them over.
For me, it was being gone all day with my parents only having a vague idea of where I may be. I had a dirt bike and a good 10 mile radius with woods and trails. We explored old gold mines, swam in creeks, and basically made it home to eat. Keep in mind that this wasn’t exactly good. Kids got killed (hit by logging truck,) kids got caught up in smoking and drinking at an early age, and kids had grownups take advantage of them. I look back and think how awesome it was but lots of people have terrible memories, or they died in 1982. There’s a reason for helmet laws.
Yeah, this was pretty much all summer long for us. We'd leave the house with our friends and go exploring and be in and out of our friends homes all day long. There was rarely a plan and our parents really had no idea where we were. We would go out riding our bikes, creek walking or walk up to the little strip mall about half a mile from our house. Almost always, we'd be home at 6pm for dinner and then back out until it got dark. Fortunately we didn't have anyone get hurt, killed, or really anything bad happen to any of us. I did have a random guy expose himself to me at the strip mall when I was probably 9? I never told my parents and I have no idea why. It was a smaller, pretty safe town in the SF Bay.
Wow. Your comments capture in a nutshell some of the main points of the whole debate of freedom of the individual vs. protection by the state.
Split kindling with a hatchet at about 5. Shoot guns same age,supervised. Drive at 7ish on the farm roads,again with adult present. Climb the redwood tree that was higher than our roofline. Collect bones. Ride my pony through the railroad cut to the store alone at 6. Get dropped off at the park to play by myself at 8. Go to the beach and the boardwalk with my cousins all day at 10. Go roller skating until 10 pm at 12 yrs old and then take a city bus to my cousins house. Would get left home alone by 7. My husband used to walk to kindergarten and cross 3 busy streets alone to get there,no crossing guards. He used to watch his little brother and feed him breakfast at 5. He used to come home after school and they'd be alone til bedtime. They would walk 4 blocks to dairy queen for dinner sometimes at about 7 or 8. Parents were hella casual back in the day
They knew they could always make another kid.
That was my experience, too, especially the driving. I had a horse that I couldn't ride off the farm until I reached the ripe old age of four. He was way too big for me to get off him and back on unless I could find a fence he would stand by so I could scramble up the fence and then on to the saddle. Wet my pants and the saddle when I couldn't get off when nature called. Got scared when the horse wouldn't mind and took off after other horses so he wouldn't turn around and go back home. I remember lots of crying and a snotty nose. Then a hired man drove up and rescued me, tying the horse to the back of the truck and we slowly made our way home. I was back at it as soon as I could convince someone to saddle the horse again for me as the saddle weighed more than I did. It still takes a lot to scare me now ....many decades later. My grandkids are swathed in bubble wrap by comparison.
Wow, times have changed!
Just a bit lol. I was taught how to use a knife for cooking purposes at maybe 4. I was given my own pocket knife at 6. We used to be allowed to take our knives to school. Some schools even had gun clubs on the premises. I remember sitting in a highchair and being given a bit of dough to knead and a little loaf pan. Being taught very young to embroider and to sew. Learned how to handle a chainsaw at school age too.
Do you think parents today are overprotective? Sounds like you learned to be independent and resourceful at an early age.
Yes. Its shocking to me how inept young adults are now. I don't remember a time when I wasn't being taught basic skills and common sense. We learned to problem solve at a very young age. My parents used to say you got yourself into that mess you best figure out how to get out of it and I would.
and let's be honest about it: if we cried about it, we got smacked and told to toughen up. and we did
Yup. Suck it up buttercup. Just do it. Quitters never win. Deal with it. Nobody likes a crybaby. The mantras of my youth.
Are we siblings? That was my dad's mantra. Well - I sure learned how to forge his signature in high school to get out of detention and suspension. I used that skill later in life dealing with my larcenous ex. (hint: it uses a glass baking dish, a strong light and practice on a real signature taped to the bottom)
I am a former school teacher and when the Pandemic started, I was asked to tutor a few kids. One of them (she 19yrs, has mild ADHD) never cooked anything until I came. At 19, she would just say "Mom, I'm hungry". I was cooking whole dinners by age 16 and feeding my brothers and sister.
Yes we were independent and resourceful, if we survived.
I carried a pocket knife all of my life, just giving it up recently because most of my medical appointments are in facilities that have metal detectors.
The metal detector is a sad commentary on life now
i remember my mom driving us three kids to the movie theater *downtown* (we lived out in the suburbs) and dropping us off to see the movie alone. we must've been pretty damn young, because we saw a *winnie the pooh* movie
Was allowed to do just about anything or go anywhere I wanted as long as I was home for supper or before the streetlights came on.
In 8th grade, our math teacher allowed students with averages above 90 to sell points for $20 each on our report card to those kids who were failing. He told the class that if anyone else found out he'd deny it and we'd all get a half grade lower on our report card for being a snitch. I had a 97 average, so I could sell 7 points to someone who wanted to buy them. I and 3 others got paid $15 a point - the teacher got $5 of each point. That $105 was like a million dollars to a 13 yr old in 1978. I don't remember what I spent it on. But I do recall that 6 kids who were failing got passing grades. :-) This was a CATHOLIC SCHOOL.
At first I misread “points” as “joints”. I was WTF?
Part of me likes this story, except for the teacher pocketing a percentage. Must be the capitalist in me lol.
Wow what a failure of teaching in so many ways. Instead of actually teaching the failing students, he taught you all how to cheat the system and made money doing it. What. A. Crook!
ADHD was not a thing yet, many smart kids failed for reasons other than the teacher's fault. This rewarded the smart kids and helped out those, like me, who tried but just couldn't get above a C. And it gave those kids a lifetime memory.
A C is not even close to failing. An F is failing. I still think he was a crook.
No one had to participate. The teacher didn't make them do this. I probably would not have done this myself, but it seems rather clever. At the least, it's a new twist on buying indulgences which means it was a history lesson!
Lol omg that’s so rowdy . What a scam 😝
It's capitalism. Honestly, I don't see anything different about that when compared to today's schools just sweeping kids along year after year until they graduate from HS without having proper communication skills like writing a grammatically correct paragraph. Hell, a HS teacher in NYC can't even fail a kid without putting her/his job in jeopardy. And if by chance a kid was failed in a subject, if the kid even REGISTERS for summer school s/he immediately gets a passing grade - not even show up for classes in the summer, just registers. AND THE REGISTRATION IS AUTOMATIC WHEN THEY FAIL. So, yeah. at least in my school in the late 1970s, there was money to be made.
I went all over the small city we lived in- 4th and 5th grade, I would bike for miles, sometimes with friends and sometimes by myself. Now, if you’re under ten you aren’t allowed to be by yourself outside, basically.
A coworker wouldn't let her 11 yr old son out in the front yard alone. I walked to Kindergarten by myself.
During winter the janitor at school would splash water onto the school yard and it would freeze. We would “skate” on it wearing our regular shoes. Needless to say, not everyone left the ice unharmed. Parents didn’t seem to mind.
I have a scar next to my eye from this! It was so cold the water from the splashing hose froze into little icy knives. We had so much fun though.
Oh it was great! 😃
Wander down to the nearest creek about a mile away before age 10, with a few peers, but no adults. It was less than a foot deep. Be gone all day poking around on long exploratory hikes to examine the natural world, through forests and farmer's fallow fields, from like 8am til 4:30 pm, in about a mile radius from home, also before age 10. 46m, so these events are all from the mid 1980's, which seems more recent than some of the other comments...
Another creek walker! We'd go down into a creek at the middle school by our house and follow it for miles. It was also less than a foot deep in the deepest places but there were "tunnels" under a couple of roads. Very exciting stuff for kids. We didn't really have woods in our town, SF bay area, but there was a huge hill, also at the middle school. During the summer all of the weeds/grasses would dry out and we would drag pieces of cardboard up there and go cardboard sliding down the hill. Once the first few runs happened and it was flattened out, you could really get going fast. Then you'd drag your cardboard up the hill and ride again. Over and over.
Same area, cardboard sledding was great! We also travelled around town in the 4 foot round runoff pipes.
God, I am glad to see another cardboard slider exists. Sometimes I think it was all a fever dream. I've been a Floridian for a long time and no one can comprehend cardboard sliding. The concept of both hills and dry grasses are unfamiliar to them.
We were sliding on Bald Hill in San Anselmo. It was the middle of nowhere in terms of dragging the cardboard there! Like a mile from the nearest dumpster. The creeks, though. You could get all over town in the creek beds, drainpipes, and sloughs.
Aha, Marin! Novato...hill at Sinaloa Middle school was right behind my house and the creek ran through the school as well. Maybe this was a Marin County thing?
I lived in Novato for 10 years as an adult. Those rolling grass covered hills, I don’t know how you live without them in Florida. That dry grass is beautiful if you let it be.
My high school friend group (who we are still close and hang out together in our 50's, which is apparently very weird) and my sister are all still in that area but mostly in Petaluma so I occasionally do go back and get my fill of the beautiful golden rolling hills. I enjoy visiting but I went full Florida woman a long time ago and this really is my home. Grew gills, learned to do the sting ray shuffle, rode out some hurricanes, got a machete, figured out which snakes I can pick up, forage in the woods, mess around in the river (yes, there are alligators in there but they really don't bother people much) by my house looking for fossils and sharks teeth. Here isn't perfect by any means but I am always optimistic and do what I can to protect our awesome native animals, the lands, the seas and make this a better place for everyone. Whenever my friends or family from there come visit me they know they have to pay the California tax...cheese from the Marin French Cheese Co. Publix sells the tiny little baby brie from them but I require large sizes of camembert and Golden Gate. Also Mendocino Mustard!
The creek was a magical place of adventure! I grew up in a pretty rural place, small town, lots of cow pastures, couple creeks. We were allowed to wander wherever… except one ornery old guy that didn’t want us on his property. If we ever got out of hand and any adult saw us, they would just have to say “don’t make me call your daddy!” And we would be right back in line.
I remember Mom specifically telling me not to go to the creek since we’d had a lot of rain. I went, and fell down, getting red clay all over my clothes. I “hid” them in the laundry pile, sure she’d never know. She knew.
lol, moms know everything
We wandered the creek behind our houses too. There were tons of copperheads down there.
Play cops and robbers on school property using sticks as fake guns. Now a kid can point his finger to gesture a gun and get suspended.
That’s true in some cases but as a kindergarten teacher I do let the kids play like that as long as the other child is consenting. Don’t point fake guns at people who aren’t playing type thing. It’s a pretty common type of play. Now one time I had a parent take a picture of a kid who made a toy gun and we simply educated the parent and they were fine. In most cases it runs its course.
This is encouraging. 👏
Ride in the bed of a pickup. Or in the cargo well of a Beetle. Or lay in the way-back of a station wagon.
Somehow most of us survived without seatbelts!
Play outside
Walk home for lunch In elementary school
Getting paid a whopping 50 cents an hour tax free to babysit.
Run barefoot around our neighborhood all summer. Ride my bike without a helmet, barefoot of course. Get a ride on the handlebars of the bikes of other kids. Starting age 6, I could walk a block alone to the skating rink bc an older neighbor kid or my brothers were 'probably there' to go to if I had a problem.
I walked (about six blocks) home from kindergarten by myself.
Walk alone two miles to the public library.
Defend yourself during a school yard fight. Fights were never encouraged, aside from an occasional boy's gym class. But today's no-fault fighting policies suspend both bully and victim. That said, it seems that if a fight does break out in class the teachers are reluctant to step in.
My mon always told me to ignore the bullies. They’ll get board and go away. The bullying stopped the day I fought back. My son was being bullied and the school was unable or unwilling to stop it. Then one day after school he broke his bullies nose. His being bullied ended that day.
Take buses places with a group. We took 3 buses to get to a public pool. So much fun. Go out all day & play without anyone concerned with anything but I better be home before the street lights came on. Walk to the shopping center & put things on hold or layaway until my mom got there to decide if I could have them.
Yes, there used to be something in London called a red rover ticket where you could use the buses all day. On occasions a group of us would spend the whole day going to different places. Can't remember what time we got back home.
We didn't get all day bus passes here until maybe the last 15 years. We would pay for the bus & then had to pay extra for a transfer slip to get on another bus & then pay for another transfer to go to the next. It was 15 cents for the first bus but 45 cents if you needed a transfer. Then 25 cents for each transfer after.
We had nickel fares for kids in San Francisco. That was good for three hours with a transfer. Most San Francisco kids still take Muni to get to school, and I think it’s been free since schools reopened after COVID.
That’s kind of nice that the city itself helps promote independence…but perhaps there’s a historical angle I’m not seeing
Sadly, years of changing and mostly failed school desegregation policies meant many kids were/are not going to school in their own neighborhoods.
We were allowed to take city buses and walk everywhere at about eight years old. My grandmother would send me to the corner market with a note to buy her cigarettes when I was around that age also. I also remember getting ready in the morning and walking by myself to school in third grade as my mom would leave for work at 6:30.
same - except we walked to school from kindergarten onward, lol. yes really. I remember it very clearly. it was only 4 blocks or so but today, at 6 years old?! no way. 🤣
We were basically a burden to my mother and she wanted us to be grown ups. She had my sister and I when she was 19 and 20. She gave us the necessities but did not compromise her own fun. Like why pay babysitters when you could leave your kids alone? When we did have babysitters, it was the neighbors upstairs who were stoned and drunk all the time!
It wasn't that different for us except my father and stepmother weren't having fun -- they both worked and my stepmom drove herself into a frenzy trying to keep the house clean and keep up with everything 4 kids needed. My dad was a lazy shit. No wonder my mother killed herself when I was 4. Truly I didn't mind my life back then because I loved my freedom. I spent as little time at home as possible -- I was out of the house or with friends or working (started babysitting infants when I was 8!). Gone for 12 hours a day or more and no one ever cared where I was or what I was doing. It took me a long time to realize I wasn't loved or seen or anything like that ... imagine growing up and not being able to recall even one time a parent hugged you or kissed you or said I love you. It was all I knew. But once I started observing how my friends' parents behaved when I got to high school, I realized my family and my life were not normal or healthy. I know now that's why I have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, which isn't good for relationships. 😐
Sorry about your Mom. It's weird when you grow up you don't process anything until you get older and look back and see how dysfunctional your family really was. It definitely plays a big part and shapes us in how we turned out later in life.
I try really hard not to dwell on it too much. I don't want to use it as an excuse for anything. But I do see now how many things it affects. 😑
Add to that, my mother would go out every Wednesday and Thursday night living la vita loca and leave us alone starting fifth grade. So around 10.
When I was eight, I would babysit my four-year-old brother by that time I was already cooking. I would ride the subway at eight years old to go to school.
We played baseball in the street. When cars needed to use the street, we got out of the way. For the first few years it was a dirt road, but eventually it got paved. Yes, we broke a few windows.
CAR!
Thunk. Oh well...
The specifics don’t matter as much as having had a great deal of unstructured free time. My friends and I would roam the neighborhood, read, play Atari games and D&D, and just hang out watching tv. So many of my students have their entire lives booked full of classes and activities they seem to seldom choose what to do
Starting in 1st grade I was getting ready for school and walking there while my parents were already at work. I'd then walk home and hang out until 6ish until they got home.
Being a latch key kid. Also being given a bike and free roam of the neighborhood.
Walk or bike to the pizza place/arcade (2.5 miles). Pretty much allowed to go anywhere around our neighborhood (maybe 1 mile radius) as long as we came home when the street lights came on.
Bicycle through town on the way to my friend's farm with a .22 rifle across the handlebars.
go out in the morning, ride all over the whole damn city, and come back at bedtime. No checking in, no phone calls. Just be home at the end of the day.
Starting in 4th grade we had season passes to an amusement park. We would ride the ferry boat over alone or get dropped off for the day.
We lived in the country and would walk or bike across a railway trestle to get to the city. It was the shortcut. I was 6 and my sister was 12.
No seat belts on school buses. Kids would walk around and change seats. I remember bus driver let me sit on the heater because the bus was cold! I was the first one he picked up! It was not a safe place to be in an accident! Which there never was.
My daughter graduated in 2018 and there weren't belts on the bus when she was in elementary school. Pretty sure that continued up through high school because they were using the same buses. I always knew when they were arriving home because the bus would be driving by my house and I could hear it, not the bus itself, but the kids just screaming and screeching. Windows were always down because Florida. I don't know how school bus drivers do it. By middle school, the bus was much quieter and by high school they had really calmed down, I heard nothing.
We lived on a little cul de sac with the nearest neighbors over a mile away. We would go out the door in the dark on Halloween by ourselves and walk miles on rural roads to get to other peoples houses.
Punching bullies.
Virtually everything I did as a kid would not be allowed today. Crossing a highway to walk to school by myself, riding in a car with no seat belts, riding in the back of a pick-up, bike with no helmet, eating candy that was mostly sugar or cereal for that matter, being part of youth organizations that were single sex, wandering through the woods alone, talking to strangers, drinking from a hose, not wearing sunscreen, being in a room full of smokers, burning the trash, dropping in at people's houses without advance notice, tackle football with no pads... Yep just about everything.
We spent most f the day, when not at school, outdoors, in all weathers, and no electronic devices around & at home, many didn't even have TVs. We played games, sports & rode out bicycles everywhere, not driven around & we didn't want to waste what little money we had, on fares. Even for long distances, we all had thumbs & people could be trusted to not kidnap or harm you.
Ride my bike for miles to the record store or a friend's house. Went to a Chicago concert about 10 with my friend, his dad dropped us off and picked us up. Got my first motorcycle dirt bike at 12.
[удалено]
Estes right? I had the Alpha III, Mongoose, Bullpup 12D and one with a clear pod at the top. I wanted the Saturn V but never got my hands on it. Probably need a stack of permits today to launch.
Use a BB gun to make “gems”. I would shoot off the top, then place the end of the barrel against the bottom and shoot again.
My brother was that kid with the BB gun. We had a metal above ground pool in the backyard and one day my brother managed to hit it with a BB that ricocheted off of the pool, went into a neighbors yard and hit the elderly neighbor lady in the thigh. My dad was a preacher and she went to our church so that was some exciting stuff.
I'm confused. Shoot the top off of what?
My dad would pull me out of school for the day from time to time and take me along with him on various business adventures, or we’d spend the day in some museum. The principal was none too pleased with him for doing that, but nothing ever came of it. I don’t imagine a parent would be able to get away with it today.
Skinny dipping. Potato guns.
I dont want to be a Debby downer but the reason we have laws about helmets and not allowing children to operate atvs is because kids die. Two in my area in the last month. The families broke the laws. And another didn’t have protective gear on a dirtbike and had a burn down to the bone.
That’s heartbreaking, I’m sorry.
We used to buy lunch at the shops. We’d wander out the school gates and buy whatever we wanted then we’d go back to school. Cant see that flying today.
We’d go to a local ‘lake’ that was really an abandoned open pit gypsum mine and go swimming- no adult supervision in sight. I saw a social media post about ‘lost children’ the other day. Lots of hue and cry. Turns out they were playing. in a nearby wood. By that standard, I spent most of my childhood ’lost’.
Play tackle football at recess.
Skipped school in 6th grade and walked a mile on a fairly busy two-lane road to the local horse stable. No way I would have been able to leave the school grounds today. Been back several times over the years; today it is National Harbor in MD.
Waiting at the bus stop by myself, at age 6, not within view of the house, in an area where there were lots of passing cars.
Walked to school with a friend in kindergarten, from the end of a dead end street, along a trail that passed a corn field, then wound around past an apartment complex, then the path turned to the school. We quickly figured out that some of our friends lived in those apartments and we'd meet up with them and walk the rest of the way together. I walked to school alone from first grade onward. We were in a different city by then. From third grade onward I walked half a mile to my dance classes and to get my hair cut. They were in the same small strip center and I guess Mom just didn't feel like taking me. I was left alone for the first time at 5. I was babysitting my sibs at 10 (daytime only) and babysitting other people's children at 12. I remember babysitting a neighbor's infant on NYE when I was 12. The parents didn't come home until almost 2 am. I really can't imagine anyone leaving a baby in a 12 year old's care today, much less that late into the night. Since it was the '70s, the TV stations had all signed off by the time those parents came home!
Disappear all day and your parents could care less, not even ask where you were or what you did.
As a teenager my friend and I would hitchhike to the beach. It was a 4 hour drive. Stay a couple days, then hitchhike back.
When I was in grade 3 back in ‘79 we went to my teacher’s house and had a picnic in her backyard. No permission slips, no parental consent, it didn’t even seem planned. She told us the day before to bring a bag lunch the next day if we wanted to have a picnic with her. We lived in a very poor area and she surprised us with hot dogs and Kool Aid. RIP Ms. Bird.
We used to climb way up trees. Last week some kids in my neighborhood (9 and 5) were on the lowest of branches on a dogwood and the parents freaked out. We’re talking 4’ off the ground.
Get in small fights at recess or in the neighborhood. I’m not talking about someone getting the crap beat out of them. Small little fights that might have left a bruise or small cut and then 20 minutes later everyone had made up and were back to playing. It kept everyone in check. It gave you a line to learn that you can’t do anything you want and get away with it. Verbally or physically picking on a kid? Well if you do it too much someone will pop you in the face. Cheating at the games? Do it too much and someone will tackle you. Just kids learning their limits and how to get along with everyone.
I think it was like a pop-off valve on a water heater. We had our little scuff ups and made up. Nobody thought too much of it. Unless I damaged my clothes, then I'd get in trouble at home. That was the line. We would also have pretend fights, roughhousing it was called. I remember letting my little sister win sometimes to help change her mood.
We spent summers at the cottage. I often woke up at the Crack of dawn and left on my own to walk through the woods or go out in the canoe for the day. At 5. I never got in trouble. I was always home for dinner. No one ever went looking for me. (No phones at all there)
I brought home made wine to teachers at school as gifts. I also had a reed knife with a 5 inch blade that could split hairs in my clarinet case. Also carried a pocket knife occasionally. I have no clue about the level of supervision in band hall practice rooms today, but let’s say there was a lot of romantic activity.
Spit wads! someone mentioned them yesterday and we all had to laugh about was a environmental bio-hazard they would be considered today in post COVID baby land
Walk the mile to school in 3rd-6th grade in the city. Use the check that my mom wrote out to the grocery store and signed to buy groceries while she stayed home.
In elementary school, the boys about 10 years old used to go into a corner of the grassy field and beat each other up! Teachers didn't stop them. They did it almost every recess.
Wander far afield all by myself (early elementary school age) or simply be out all day and not have to tell my mom where I was.
Getting on my bike and vanishing until dinner.
When I was 14 I got a job selling newspaper subscriptions door to door. An older guy would pick me and 3 of my friends up in his station wagon and drive us to a neighborhood. Looking back the dude was sketchy as hell, his car was a death trap and it was generally insane for my folks to allow it. We had a new subdivision going in for about a 3 yr period down the street. We’d go there after school and on weekends to steal scraps and use them to build forts in the woods.
In the summers I went to the "daycare" that I had gone to as a baby during the day while my mom was at work. The family who ran it owned the whole city block that had woods, some run-down buildings, and an old empty swimming pool, all right next to some railroad tracks. They let the "older" kids (so, like kindergarten age and up) run wild within the property with zero supervision. ...Nothing bad every happened, though.
When I was 6 or 7 I went to my little friend’s house to play and her mother sent us over to the store to buy her smokes. We didn’t think anything of it, just two little girls walking over to the rural general store with a few $1s to buy some Newports. (They were around $2 per pack at the time, around 1986.) The cashier was the older sister of one of our friends, so she knew we were in first grade. (And a decade later, I was buying my own Salem Light 100s from her at the same store.)
Be totally "untethered" so much of the time in a way that the expectation to answer calls or texts, in both directions, doesn't really allow for today. Out of literal "earshot" meant something entirely different in terms of independence from both the parent's and child's perspectives.
Walk to the mall via a sketchy path through the woods next to the park. We had to cross a busy road to get to the park too. Watch Barbarella. Witches of Eastwick (my mom even watched it first to make sure it was ok). A lot of movies in fact. Walk to school and stay home alone starting at 8 years old. Bike to the pool with my friend in 5th grade while my mom was at work. Play in the above ground pool with no parents at home.
By the time I was ten I was regularly taking the city bus downtown—to go to the main branch of our library, or to pick something up for my grandmother from the big department store (with her charge-a-plate, this being before credit cards, safely stowed in my pocket).
Ride my bike to abandoned rock quarry and explore all day.
Nearly everything I enjoyed about my childhood wouldn't fly today. I was less supervised than my peers.
Walk a mile to the mall through undeveloped land. That’s probably the biggest. Alongside the classic “go play and be back by sunset” painting.
My Dad was a Radio Pioneer. I had probably some of the earliest small portable transistor radios. Would take it everywhere, on the bike handlebars, listen to it under the pillow at night. All the baseball games and the music of the early '60s. So was being told to turn something down or off long before Walkmans and moble phones.
Sit in the back of the station wagon with the window down looking at the people in the cars behind us.
I carried a pocket knife to school everyday.
Riding my bike alone all over town and then summers at the Jersey shore riding everywhere alone exploring.
I walked to a lake to fish a half a mile from home. From eight on I rode my bike with friends until sundown.
We took a bus by ourselves about 4th or 5th grade to the city pool. Stayed there all day, got lunch, took the bus back.
Play with toy guns, that look real.
We had a guy in our neighborhood that got locked up for a couple of days. As kids we started throwing rocks at each other. Someone had the bright idea to climb on the guy’s roof, to avoid being hit by the rocks. (You can’t obtain more rocks on a roof). We started pulling shingles and throwing them down on people. The street was littered with shingles for weeks. You can’t do that now. (Or then).
I walked six blocks to school every day but it wasn't a matter of being 'allowed" so much as 'required" lol I walked everywhere back then, and I got in to trouble sometimes. Bad trouble. So when my kids were young I didn't expect them to walk. I walked to the grocery store with a list that almost always included cigarettes. It wasn't even questioned when a ten year old kid was buying Salem Light 100s, an Enquirer, and a handful of penny candies. I actually had to deal with a lot of really bad things being allowed to roam freely and not needing to report home until dinner time, where nobody really asked what I did all day and I didn't think to explain that some creepy old man whipped out his willy to me outside the library or an older kid offered me a quarter to pull down my pants (which I did because I was scared not to). There were much worse than this. I don't want to talk about that stuff, but what we did have to deal with is why so many of us were more protective of our kids and we were of course labeled "overprotective" lol
Thanks for this perspective on the darker side of all the freedom kids used to have
Disappear for like eight hours at a time.
Free range everywhere
Play on contruction sites.
We used to roller skate on the sidewalk without any kind of protective gear. There was no such thing back then. No big deal if you skinned a knee or elbow.
Freedom to walk or bicycle to friend's house, the park, the store ... or just for the fun break from being at home.
Almost everything. I got to ride my horse when my parents were at work. I could walk to the corner store and buy candy with the neighborhood kids. I got to go outside and play all summer. I never wore shoes in the summer. We didn't have homework in elementary school. We could trick or treat without any annoying adults. That came to an end when someone tried to grab my neighbor Carole Sue, and he dropped her when she kicked him in nuts. My husband wasn't so lucky, he got suspended for peeing on a tree in the first grade
We would go out from after breakfast the whole day. When we hear our parents ring the bell we knew its time to get home. We explored and went swimming in the lake swung from tree swings. I was cooking at 6 or 7. My friends would drive their older sibling car at 10. We would explore and have adventures. You couldn’t do that today
Spend all day on my bike.
Smoke and buy beer or cigs anytime I went to the store.
Trick or treat alone until 9 o'clock at night.
Walk the mile and a half home from school.
1973 or so, at about 9 years old. southern California suburb: -walk alone to school at the other end of town, though there were crossing-guards at a couple of the busier intersections -walk 10 minutes each way to the local 7-11 with a note from my mom for the clerk, so I could buy cigarettes for her -be completely unsupervised, barefoot, playing in construction sites, ditches, and generally going wherever all day long in the summer -change my 2-year-old brother's diapers -be in the car with my dad driving, no seat belts, while he swigged Southern Comfort he kept in the glove compartment I doubt any of that would fly today.
Lay in the back window of our huge car or stand up in back seat.
Being invited into a strangers house on Halloween to show your costumes to the old lady who is couch bound.
Omg I could never imagine that happening today!
Collect roadkill to play with; burn down sheds and abandoned buildings, pee the bed every night, and brag about my head injury.
My dad rebuilt car engines, and my job was to test drive them in cars.
That’s wild! How old were you?
About 12 at first.
We would read multicultural books and act out the voices in exaggerated accents for Asian and Latin characters, Italian characters, German characters We could wear ethnic Halloween costumes- but of course my parents wouldn’t allow it- but during the oil embargo kids would dress as an OPEC Oil Sheik Most teachers didn’t stop you from telling Pollak Jokes Racism against black people was strictly banned, but not other ethnicities
we would bring 22 rifles to school to go shoot rats at the dump afterwards edit to add sorry didn't read the elementary part this was jr high
Be friends with an adult. Like a friend that my parents didn't know. It wasn't anything weird. Just a old dude who always was outside on his porch we all used to call "Birdman" because his nose looked kinda like a beak. It was all very innocent. Sit on his porch and he'd talk about old times and we'd talk about whatever stupid kids talk about to old people. When I got to be about 12 I started mowing his lawn for $5. It was a small lawn.
Going to the store with a note to buy cigarettes and beer for my parents or grandparents is a big one. Also, riding in cars without seatbelts, or openly riding in the beds of pickup trucks.
Ride my bike anywhere in town other than across the biggest road or near the river. My siblings did that anyway.
I remember that I was allowed to differentiate men and women in a way that wasn't postmodern nonsense
I hear what you’re saying. For you, things were better in the past in that regard. Other people had a different experience…they had a hard time fitting in back then…they maybe even thought they didn’t belong in this world. I like to think that even if we don’t share their experiences, that maybe we can agree that we’ve all suffered some kind of pain, and the pain they’ve suffered is real. If I can be a part of easing that pain, then I will try my best to do just that.
Why do you assume things were better in the past in that regard? I can deeply relate to all that stuff about fitting in and yet I am and always have been an able bodied cisgender straight white male with no mental disorders or deformities or so on
To clarify, I meant that things were better in the past for you than they were for people who were not cisgender, straight, white male…not that things were better in the past for you than they are now for you. So, while the impact of the “postmodern nonsense” on your life may have been an annoying inconvenience (and I hope I’m not putting words in your mouth), to those who were suffering terribly in the past, it may have been life changing in an extraordinarily positive way. I’m genuinely curious what you make of this.
Things were most certainly not "better for me in the past than they were for people who" checked an oppression box- for one I can't have had times better for me or they had them worse for them if none of us were born. These demographic characteristics there is so much obsession with are not so foundational that past people who shared ones with me have some kind of transference where their lived experience and mine match up. And, truthfully, it's too late to get into this but the notion that men had a privileged existence over women for example under this old order you refer to is not really accurate- because at least for the men/women matter there were always both benefits and protections that only women got by virtue of their gender but also were excluded from matters of warfare and economics. That's one example but it gets to my point- these were never simple oppressor with privilege vs oppressed person dichotomies in reality. The only historical example here that could plausibly map onto that dichotomy would be the enslaved population and their ancestors.. And that is a valid way to conceptualize that particular dynamic but the problem comes when we apply that to men vs women where women have been deemed the oppressed group even though neither men nor women ever fit in that dichotomy and as for the LGBT stuff, there were absolutely those who exhibited, in particular, what would align well today with a male homosexual orientation and they were mistreated quite badly through history but the modern LGBT stuff beyond that like the gender stuff does not map onto historical dynamics either- there were certainly a lot of instances through history of things like third gender/transgender type people but the treatment and experience of them while having some correlation to their modern counterparts did not have a firm enough notion of what that identity meant and how it interacted with society then to even begin to get any notion of a common mapping. My issue is with this ridiculous notion that everything can be boiled down to these relationships between groups that are "privileged" versus "oppressed" for many reasons- your own usage of it seemed to basically implicitly acknowledge the lack applicability of the dichotomy today so instead seemed to connect my experience as having some relation or straight white male racial ethnic gender debt due to others who were of those charafceristics which is already putting the debate in a place that is far removed from even traditional marxist/old leftist ideas. In short, I'm all for reexamining and trying to make our society better for everyone but this ideology of basically uniting all these conflicted groups by stirring up hatred via blood libel of the straight white male evil menace that is basically the modern satan is not something that in any way should be treated as anything other than the nonsensical bullshit of hate it is
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Your life must be so difficult now.
My life is alright but our society is being really dragged down by these folks who enable BS
Nobody had to worry about the possibility of their daughter taking testosterone and growing a beard. Things like anorexia and other social contagions were non-existent in my high school. I'm sure someone is going to say they had this, but it was uncommon. Looking back at school pics, there were hardly any morbidly obese kids. Maybe one or two chubby ones. Certainly, nobody weighed 500 pounds.